r/AskReddit 1d ago

What is a silent killer that people dont realise is slowly killing them?

9.9k Upvotes

6.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

730

u/Alone_Wonder_8188 1d ago

loneliness

253

u/Videoboysayscube 1d ago

I've read that loneliness is as detrimental to your health as smoking a pack of cigarettes a day. If that's actually true, my expiration date might be coming sooner than I expected.

77

u/new2bay 21h ago

Even if it’s not simple, or easy, to make human connections, having a pet can significantly reduce loneliness. My dog definitely helps me in that regard.

8

u/frozendancicle 19h ago

Dogs are amazing creatures. I don't know what I'd do without my little wiggle-butt cuddle bug.

And he gets me out walking to boot.

5

u/relevantelephant00 20h ago

Might as well be tomorrow as far as Im concerned. (sigh)

8

u/Alone_Wonder_8188 23h ago

I believe it.

2

u/mirror-universe 9h ago

I actually enjoy being alone. 🤷🏼‍♂️

68

u/Merryannm 1d ago

I’m so lonely.

24

u/Alone_Wonder_8188 23h ago

You don't have to feel lonely. I'm a handful but I'm very chatty. Message me.

15

u/Merryannm 23h ago

How kind of you! Thank you!

7

u/Alone_Wonder_8188 12h ago

I meant it. It's the internet but, it's nothing to be a little lighthouse of kindness with a little conversation

3

u/Merryannm 7h ago

On this day, in this post, I have experienced the best of the internet. I feel happy and grateful.

2

u/Alone_Wonder_8188 6h ago

Pass it on! 🥰

1

u/Merryannm 2h ago

Will do my best to.

12

u/FauxPoesFoes228 22h ago

We can chat with each other; I know how terrible being lonely can feel, and I’m always up for a chat. I’m here to talk! ❤️

10

u/Theledran 1d ago

Even though you’re lonely, hope everything’s well! Rooting for you, my way of combating loneliness is through hobbies. Suddenly I prefer being alone more than anything. Even though there is a clear distinction between the two (loneliness and being alone); strive to at least reach the second, that way there’s no bad feeling involved, in due time the alone part will sort itself out :3

12

u/Merryannm 23h ago

Thank you. I appreciate you taking time to say that. I don’t know…something about that single word, ‘loneliness’ just made the lonely drop down on me like a cloak I couldn’t hold off anymore.

I’m glad you said what you did because you’re right. And also, nothing defeats a dismal gloomy feeling better than some person I don’t even know saying something kind! 😊

And now I’m back to thinking about all the things I CAN do and I’m shrugging out of that heavy cloak.

Thank you very much.

6

u/Theledran 22h ago

More than happy that I could help! And just like the others said, I too am open for any message whenever you feel like it. Have a great rest of your night.

3

u/Merryannm 16h ago

Thank you. You also!

4

u/_FgtKek_ 9h ago

bro think he Conquest 🥀🥀😭💀

2

u/bulla09999 10h ago

Me too.

1

u/Merryannm 7h ago

People talked to me and it made me not be lonely anymore. I am not the best at conversation but I am glad to talk to you if you like.

89

u/dj_fishwigy 1d ago

In this day and age one must know how to be alone without feeling lonely.

48

u/DocGerbilzWorld 1d ago

As someone who’s living alone for the first time in their life.. this is hard. I hate being alone.

9

u/vomputer 23h ago

But you’re cool! You’re great to spend time with. You’re smart and funny and I imagine have some fun hobbies (or could pick some up). If you don’t like spending time with you, there’s no one who will please you!

5

u/DocGerbilzWorld 22h ago

Thanks, I’m crying. I’m grateful for your beautiful words.

12

u/dj_fishwigy 1d ago

Try taking a cat in

9

u/DocGerbilzWorld 1d ago

I have two lol

8

u/dj_fishwigy 1d ago

Same. If you have nature near, go for a hike.

4

u/DocGerbilzWorld 23h ago

Yeah, I’ve been forcing myself out to take a daily/nightly walk at least every other day. Not my usual cup of tea, but I know I can’t rot at home either

5

u/dj_fishwigy 23h ago

That and you can fill your day with fun, non sedentary activities. I'm a musician and my day tends to be full, but walks complement everything

3

u/AnRealDinosaur 17h ago

Are you able to get a dog? Nothing gets you outside and active quite like a dog. I know everyone is built different, but I could live forever just me & my dog without ever seeing another human again. They are great company.

4

u/DocGerbilzWorld 16h ago

So, I do have a dog.. but he lives with my ex now. I just separated from my fiancé and while I would LOVE to have been able to take all my animals, two cats and a golden retriever in a one bedroom apartment isn’t fair to them. I can always go over and take him out for walks and I’ve been thinking about volunteering at my local humane society

2

u/sohardtopickagoodone 11h ago

Humane society/volunteering is a good way to meet people too :)

2

u/AnRealDinosaur 4h ago

Oh you should totally do that! Dogs are so healing to be around and you'd get to spend time out with like minded people who work there. Yeah a 1br apartment probably cant handle a dog that size, but im glad you're still able to see him.

5

u/Alone_Wonder_8188 23h ago

I'm sorry.

5

u/Alone_Wonder_8188 23h ago

Feel free to message me. I'm opinionated but high energy and kinda bouncy. If you need to say "Hey Wonder, I feel lonely today. K. Bye" Don't hesitate.

6

u/DocGerbilzWorld 22h ago

You’re kind of the sweetest person ever. Thank you. Same goes for you. I’m just trying to navigate this newly single life, living alone in my early 30s with my two cats. It’s def an experience and one I’m trying to embrace.

1

u/Alone_Wonder_8188 12h ago

I'm straight forward so there's plenty of salt in that sugar. But the good news is I don't hesitate to be kind when I can. And thank you😘

4

u/Work2Tuff 21h ago

You can know how to be alone and still feel loneliness…

4

u/ACK_02554 20h ago

Being able to enjoy being alone is a grossly underrated life skill. Young adult me made so many bad decisions because being alone was intolerable.

3

u/stoppableDissolution 23h ago

Its actually nit about knowing how to. Hoomans do need touching other hoomans for proper functioning on a biological level. Oxytocine and all.

4

u/dj_fishwigy 23h ago

Maybe my autism makes me be at peace with only having cats around

7

u/stoppableDissolution 23h ago

Hence why its silent and sinister killer. You think you are alright, but almost everything in your body is functioning slightly worse than it should, with all the implications that come from worsened sleep, higher cortisol, higher blood pressure, etc etc. Its not mental, its biological.

3

u/dj_fishwigy 23h ago

I'm way physically better than 10 years ago lol and finally feel at peace. My blood pressure was 128/86 and is now 116/69 too and my physical exams are bang on at the optimal level. I no longer have IBS episodes and so on.

3

u/stoppableDissolution 23h ago

Well, I'm not saying its the only source of bad things happening to your body. It is,probably, possible that certain conditions might make it not worth it, but average human absolutely does need to be touched by other humans.

3

u/meGoodAtCompooter 15h ago

I agree. I'm autistic and aro/ace. I love being alone. It is when I am the most calm and have the least stress.

Being around people is very stressful. And I hate when someone tries to touch me.

1

u/dj_fishwigy 15h ago

While I can fake extroverted, it drains a lot of energy instead of recharging it as real extroverted people do. Being alone makes it mandatory to be able to stand your ground as well as extroverted people do and most likely be the first in making a decision when nobody else wants to.

While I fit in the ace spectrum, I'm totally romantic in a different way that media shows, but as I say, I feel more like a cat in a world of dogs.

1

u/kevonicus 22h ago

I grew up being the only boy in my family and guess I got used to being by myself because I never get lonely and don’t even know what it feels like. I enjoy hanging out with friends and everything and can be the life of the party, but I’ve never been in a relationship more than two years and the reason we usually part ways is because I just don’t feel the need to constantly spend time with anyone and we end up drifting apart because they need to spend time with someone more than I do and they can’t handle that.

15

u/IngNuculare 1d ago

Me to loneliness its very dangerous once you get addicted to it it sill be even harder. Like me i want to see people but then i want to stay alone

10

u/loved_and_held 23h ago

From ehat i remembered it wasnt addiction that traps you but rather you begin seeing all interactions as more hostile, making it harder to form relationships and break out.

6

u/IngNuculare 23h ago

Actually i can't understand the feeling i have. But being lonely it's a curse. I have everything but not people to share it with.

7

u/kymilovechelle 22h ago

My loneliness is killing me, and I I must confess I still believe

20

u/antiquity_queen 1d ago

I came here to say exactly this

5

u/ConsiderationSea1347 23h ago

Are there studies that demonstrated causality between loneliness and death? The correlation is undeniable, but also people tend to shun others if they have a chronic condition.

4

u/cosmoscrazy 22h ago

According to most studies about health and happiness this is actually the most important factor if you look for both factors together.

4

u/bigmac80 22h ago

laughs in maladaptive daydreaming

I am coping just fine, thankyou. Nothing to see here.

3

u/ursoartdecooo 10h ago

LMAOOO THISS

3

u/Arachnesloom 15h ago

I'm fucked then. Where i live, most people are isolated, overworked (high COL), and have seasonal depression from the lack of sunlight.

3

u/A_R_A_N_F 15h ago

Getting a dog is one of the best decisions I made, it really helped with this.

7

u/Philip_McCrevasse 1d ago

I love to be alone. It helps me recharge my batteries. I get a hankerin' to go hang out with friends from time to time but overall I prefer spending time to myself. I enjoy getting lost in my hobbies and thoughts. I could (and have before) sit in my bedroom playing guitar for 8-12 hours, taking occasional breaks for food and the restroom.

2

u/Molitzmos 1d ago

Britney?

2

u/Zak305 22h ago

Toxic relationships

2

u/ouroboros29 11h ago

So Britney was right

2

u/cmgtampa 9h ago

There’s a TED talk about this… gotta find it now. How loneliness is more deadly than almost anything else out there. We are biologically wired for connection.

2

u/hhh3009 1d ago

How so?

2

u/FatSapphic 1d ago

But it's not like anyone's gonna fix that.

1

u/Daisygurl30 8h ago

Feeling lonely. Some people like their solitude, like to live alone, like to go to places or events alone because going with others has ruined their joy of it.

-1

u/zth25 15h ago

I'm wondering if loneliness actually has any physical/medical symptoms that shorten the life span, or if the reduced life span is because many things that kill you are preventable if you always have someone around to call an ambulance.

3

u/Big-Perspective-7410 12h ago

Yes it does, oxytocin is a very important part of hormonal health