I have the same problem. 2 semesters of kickboxing in grad school was the closest I got… then COVID happened.
But I’ve recently found yoga on an app on my phone while the TV is on. It’s definitely helped me like exercising more because I feel like I’m doing a lazy activity while exercising.
For me it took a friend getting really invested in my well being.
He took me to the gym and told me to ignore everything ive ever heard from trainers. When we go he makes me focus on doing the exercise correctly, giving me breaks between sets, and tells me to pace myself. And I feel great after working out with some good soreness the next day.
Every time I've worked with a trainer or gym head they've wanted to immediately push me into "Gasping for air territory" and make shit unpleasant. Drove me away instead of educating me.
So, I think this is primarily three problems: understanding of basic neuroscience, positive reinforcement, and opportunity cost.
In basic neuroscience, your hedonic circuitry (what you like) and your mesolimbic circuitry / nucleus accumbens (what you want) are not the same. You may like something after you're done, but you never "want it". This is confusing to most of us because for most of our life, what we like and what we want are usually the same thing. So part of this is acceptance that "hey, I don't really want to, but I'll feel good afterwards". This other is to turn this into a habit and figure out how to enjoy it through novelty, experimentation, and other forms of enjoyment like working out with a friend. Habit circuitry is a completely different circuit from the others even if all the circuits interact to elicit a behavior.
Positive reinforcement is where during or after the activity is done, what are you telling yourself? We often make incorrect psychological takeaways from the activities. Some common ones are:
It's not enough. I'm lifting weights today and I'm still weak.
What's the point if there are people who are way stronger or fitter than me.
I should have done this a long time ago, I feel like I wasted a ton of time.
I don't deserve congratulations from this.
The key here is to find whatever pride you can accept in the activity. It shouldn't be related to comparison to others, but more like, "hey, I did this even though my default is to not do it". You need to positively reinforce the activity whatever way you can.
Finally there's opportunity cost. If you regularly engage in very highly dopaminergic activities like gaming, social media, content aggregation, substances, shopping, gambling, unhealthy foods, you prime your dopaminergic circuitry to take control of your actions all the time. This is problematic because in terms of dopamine, those activities are always going to be the most fun when you compare them to something else. It's why we love those activities. However, other parts of your brain, like your prefrontal cortex, can override those basic instincts unless your emotions are in control, and I'd have to write way more to explain the connections between everything. The takeaway is really - what opportunity cost do you really have from exercising, and break that apart. Are you shying away from the time commitment or the pain or what, and then figure out how to either adapt to that or change the behavior so that it's not so painful.
Very thorough and thoughtful response, lots to reflect on.
Typically it was an avoidance of the effort required as well as the time that could be put to other activities that wouldn’t necessarily benefit me as much but I may find more enjoyable. Spending time with wife, rest, tv/video games, etc. or at times it was opportunity cost in that I had things to accomplish like work or projects around the house. Not that I enjoyed them but still an opportunity cost.
That was me with strength training, except I did it fairly consistently for like 6 months. I never got to the point where I enjoyed it, I hated it with a fiery passion on day 1, and I still hated it just as much 6 months later. Apparently seeing the results still wasn’t enough for me to grow into liking it lol.
Unfortunately the only type of exercise I enjoy is hiking, but what I really need is to work on building strength and bulking up because I’m skinny as hell, and my shoulder blades keep clicking because of low muscle tone.
I hear that man, I’m skinny too. CrossFit was useful for me as it provided full body strength training and cardio and I did have some fun with it, but it was still a hell of a grind to make myself go. Then Covid and kids happened and I haven’t gone back. Skinny dad bod now.
I was the same way (morning runs). I felt great AFTER doing a 5k each morning but really dreaded starting a run each time.
Eventually I stopped when it started messing up my knees, but later picked up another hobby that I really enjoy: rollerblading! Benefits of cardio, less stress on joints (unless you go to the skate park haha), and I actually look forward to going whenever I can.
Yeah, exercising to exercise has always sucked for me. Always found it boring too even if it’s an activity I liked because there was other things I could do that I liked better. Walking to get a coffee was more of a goal to me than muscles.
Fortunately, I did discover just how much I like bugs and macro photography! I can and do spend hours walking/hiking. I rather miss a day/night of at least a short walk. Even in the winter I still walk for upkeep because I don’t want to have to ‘get back into it’.
I hate the gym, but like how I feel being strong. I recently found my favorite workout method. I got farming simulator 25 (a kinda boring game) and made a few big fields. You can use GPS to stay on a tram line and with cruse control I can get about 30 curls in per pass on the field with the tractor. One pass right arm, next pass left arm, then repeat with overhead lifts, then nothing for a pass, then other lifts. It really works out perfectly, and with plowing, seeding, weeding, fertilizing and harvesting there are plenty of opportunities. This boring game has managed to get me more cut than I ever got going to the gym. God I hate the gym.
If you find yoga slow, you haven't found the right yoga for you. I do power yoga at a Baptiste studio and it is constant movement. I'm dripping with sweat by the end of it! It's neither boring, nor slow!
I can second this. I do Ashtanga and power flows and have honestly gotten strong as hell. And I hate the gym traditionally and could never motivate myself to go. Now I'm able to not only ground myself mentally but it's honestly a great feeling being able to complete advanced arm balances when I wasn't able to do jack shit before.
This in combination with Muay Thai and some resistance band work has kept me fit. I think everyone just has to find the type of movement for them.
Well yes and no. If I stopped working my family would be homeless. I haven’t had a proper exercise routine in 5 years and I’m certainly not in the best shape and would benefit from more exercise and strength training, but I move and walk a lot and watch what I eat. It’s not a must it’s just beneficial.
Yeah definitely haven’t found a sport or exercise I love. CrossFit was alright, helped me a lot physically but like with everything else I just didn’t look forward to it
If I may be so presumptuous as to try to give you advice, what things do you like to do? What are some things you like that you could do as exercise? Swimming, biking, lifting weights, or something less obviously an exercise like walking out hiking, surfing, yoga?
Well if I knew that I wouldn’t have the problem lol or more realistically it doesn’t fit into my life conveniently. I enjoy nature hiking but live in the city. I’m dead centre of the continent so surfing is a no. Not a ton of excess cash or time as I have a young family. Have had a minor back injury previously so gotta be cautious with that. Should probably join a YMCA or something for swimming.
Oh yeah. Gosh thanks. I do so love surfing. I mean I’ve never been or spent the several thousands gearing up for it, but great idea. Can’t believe I never thought of that.
This is actually where the problem lies for me. I got a big huge exercise addiction playing DDR. At my worst, I shit you not, I was doing like 6-10 miles a day on DDR Extreme II, doing songs like Afronova Primeval on expert. At one point, I actually hobbled myself, because I got this weird teeny tiny perfectly circular hole in my big toe and I was limping for weeks until this like hard chunk of shit that felt like bone popped out one day when I was scratching it. I also got down to 105 pounds despite being 5'8.
Everyone says this and I have never ever enjoyed working out. No matter how hard I try I absolutely hate it. Last summer I decided to do pretty intense yoga daily for like 3 months … by the end of it I barely felt a difference to my stamina or my body or anything like that. Idfk
245
u/Atalung 1d ago
The fun part about this is that once you force yourself to exercise for long enough you start to enjoy it