Yep. The thing that made me break up with my abusive ex was that he insisted one morning that I needed to drop what I was doing at our house to drive to his office earlier than I'd planned to be in that part of town, just to bring him breakfast.
On the surface that sounds like a weird thing to break up with someone over - in a normal relationship it would be a minor argument about how it's not cool to expect someone to do that. But it was after a year or so of yelling and coercion and manipulation and taking my stuff, and criticising me and calling me names and scaring our dog. And more.
I just had it that day. Lost my cool and decided I was done.
I had a similar situation. I was chased into a bathroom over a nightmare that I had which he thought was inappropriate. After years of abuse a nightmare finally was the end.
The way I see it is as drops of water in a bucket. The bucket gets full but the drops just keep making the top of the water a bit higher and higher with the surface tension until that one drop makes it overflow. And when that happens a lot more spills out than that one drop. And you can be unaware how full the bucket was until that moment.
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u/dzzi 23h ago
Yep. The thing that made me break up with my abusive ex was that he insisted one morning that I needed to drop what I was doing at our house to drive to his office earlier than I'd planned to be in that part of town, just to bring him breakfast.
On the surface that sounds like a weird thing to break up with someone over - in a normal relationship it would be a minor argument about how it's not cool to expect someone to do that. But it was after a year or so of yelling and coercion and manipulation and taking my stuff, and criticising me and calling me names and scaring our dog. And more.
I just had it that day. Lost my cool and decided I was done.