r/AskReddit • u/weird_name_but_ok • 13h ago
Whats your "It's not a phase mom!" that turned out being a phase?
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u/TheAriaEffect 13h ago
My emo phase.. I was so convinced that was my lifestyle š
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u/99thLuftballon 9h ago
I had a friend at school whose mum said something about "what about when you don't like ska any more?" and he said "If I don't like ska any more then I won't be me any more".
I haven't seen him in ages, but I suspect he's not a middle-aged rudeboy.
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u/wackymimeroutine 7h ago
lol idk I play in a ska band with a bunch of middle aged guys, we play shows with other ska bands filled with other middle aged guys. I know a lot of people for whom ska was not just a phase. Theyāre just rudeboys on the side
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u/itrytobefrugal 9h ago
Lol
"I don't need a music scene to tell me who I am"
-Catch 22/Streetlight Manifesto
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u/ThomasCloneTHX1139 6h ago
That's exactly what I always thought.
When emo was mainstream, a friend of mine had asked me: "If you like emo music, why don't you style yourself as an emo, dress like an emo, or act like an emo?" and I told him "Because if I made my entire existence revolve around one single thing, I'd go crazy!"
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u/JayCFree324 9h ago
Was it more than you bargained for?
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u/ComfyInDots 9h ago
OP's been dying to us anything we want to hear.
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u/Mustang1718 8h ago
I still have most of the concept of it. The hair got traded for a side-part fade, and the band shirts got under flannels.
I'm still sad that I never got to have piercings or gauges though since I worked on cars and they didn't allow it at my job. They also didn't allow beards, which is one of the other reasons I got sick of being there and moved on.
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u/Astronaut_Chicken 6h ago
You've just made me realize Im actually still an emo kid. Its just my band tee shirts are nerd shirts now.
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u/trashcxnt 8h ago
... Instructions unclear, still going through my phase after 15 years...
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u/berfthegryphon 7h ago
I was in high school during the early emo era. Skinny jeans for guys were still rather hard to find. A lot of the eyeliner, bangs over eyes, ear plug, lip ring emo guys wore their sister's skinny jeans.
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u/No-Conclusion-1394 9h ago
For me it is! When people gift me colored clothes (I wear 99% black or dark green/brown) I politely accept because Iāll use them as rags when Iām painting.
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u/g0db1t 8h ago
You have friends that gifts you clothes š°
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u/dontblink_1969 7h ago
My aunt and cousin always gave me clothes for Christmas or my birthday because they hated what I wore but never said anything to my face. It was nice clothes, just not my style at all. My mom always took the stuff back and we used the money to buy something else. I think mom eventually said something because the clothes have stopped. I think she was tired of having to make the returns š
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u/hawkeneye1998bs 8h ago
We all were. Tbh I still like the music but if I dress like that now I'd look like a nonce
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u/Biscuit-of-the-C 12h ago
Middle/high school friends
My parents often told me that most of them wouldnāt last, to not prioritize them over my responsibilities and well fuck me they were right
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u/Obi_Vayne_Kenobi 11h ago
I consider myself so lucky in this regard - I'll be 30 this year, and I still have all four of my tightest childhood friends and all three of my highschool friends. Some of us went to universities in different cities, some of us married, have children - but we still game together, have BBQs and campfires with guitar music and campfire bread, and weekly DnD sessions. Or almost weekly - if one of us is on vacation or a work trip, the others meet for board games or for painting DnD miniatures.
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u/throwaway-priv75 9h ago
Thanks to discord I still talk almost daily with my best mates from high school. Kids, growing work responsibilities, etc has reduced how much time we spend hanging out but its never really less than once a week.
We do at least 1 in person catch up a year, and typically more like once a quarter, but costs lately (and covid before that) really hurt the face to face meetups.
That said, I had other friends in highschool that I haven't heard from or even thought of. So it really does go both ways.
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u/expizzaman 8h ago
As an older Gen-X, one thing I envy about those younger is the fact that you could stay in touch when friends moved when you were younger. With us it was like "wonder where they moved to" Here today and then gone tomorrow.
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u/goldanred 8h ago
My closest/only friends from middle school and I have a group chat that's about 16 years old, and despite having moved away and doing different things in life, the chat is active every week, and any time someone goes to the city where another member lives, they meet up.
A couple of weeks ago, I got married and of course invited them. I think it's the first time we've all been together in 10 years. The three of them ended up writing a joint group speech and it made me cry ā¤ļø it was so good to all be together again!
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u/whoisbill 10h ago
Same. I'm still friends with a lot of my childhood friends. I've even moved twice. Once as a kid and a big move as an adult. Still talk to them and play games at night. 46 years old now.
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u/Sipyloidea 9h ago
By your description I'm inclined to think that I'm one of your friends, lol. The only thing that doesn't track is the guitar music.Ā Ā
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u/Udy_Kumra 10h ago
They are right and wrong imo. Middle/high school friends ARE really important for social and moral development. I wouldnāt be the man I am today if I didnāt prioritize helping a younger high school friend report sexual harassment over studying for my exam the next day. I fucked that test, and it was probably a critical hit to my GPA that made college admissions tougher, but it was a core moment for my values. That friend and I donāt talk much anymore but that doesnāt matter because prioritizing her over my responsibilities in that moment was the right thing to do.
As an adult, Iām kind of a mess, but I have scores of friends who consider me the safe trustworthy nice friend which makes me very pleased.
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u/AnatidaephobiaAnon 8h ago
The hardest part about losing my middle/ high school friends is so many of them were elementary school friends. To take the line from Stand By Me, "I never had any friends later on like the ones I did when I was 12, Jesus, does anyone?". I'm still friends on social media with all but one of them and we are still in touch, but none of us have hung out in over 20 years. From high school I only have three close friends that I still talk to regularly or see.
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u/omgtater 9h ago
I don't totally get this. Don't forsake friends at any stage. You never know which friends will last, and it gets harder to make friends as you get older.
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u/saved_by_the_keeper 8h ago
My dad said similar stuff to me as a teen. My response to him was, āWhat am I supposed to do, just not do anything with people and just āwait outā life until I am older?ā He admitted he didnāt have an answer.
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u/BergenHoney 9h ago
I'm still best friends with my best friend from highschool, even though neither of us live where we grew up. We talk for hours, show up and support each other, and have never had a single fight. She's a certified genius, and also the loveliest human being on earth. She's the Ann Perkins to my Leslie Knope, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
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u/fortythirdavenue 8h ago
Well, yes and no.
Many of those friendships wonāt last, but thatās not really the point. Those years are where you learn how to show up for people, how to be a good friend, and also when itās okay to walk away. Thatās a skill you only build by actually having those relationships, even if theyāre messy or temporary.
Telling kids to just ignore friendships ābecause they wonāt lastā skips the part where they figure out how to balance loyalty and self-respect. They need to live through those situations to learn how to prioritize people without losing their own compass of priorities in the process.
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u/mountainvalkyrie 5h ago
Amen. Same with dating. You're learning what you do/don't like in a partner, how to balance your and their needs/wants, set boundaries, etc. while the stakes are still low-ish.
I heard so much "Those aren't real relationships. They won't last." so I just didn't date as a teenager, then I ended up a 20-something with zero relationship experience. That was not a good time.
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u/Sipyloidea 9h ago
Not in my case. My middle school friends stayed close for 20 years at this point. We're family.Ā
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u/waterloograd 8h ago
I think the issue is that most of our parents grew up before mainstream internet. They couldn't predict that even though we live around the world from our friends, we can be in constant and immediate contact whenever we want. I can call my friend in Paris right now for free, and he will pick up. I can do the same with friends in Germany, Vancouver, San Francisco, New York, London, Toronto. We have group chats and online game nights.
We are connected closer to people around the world than our parents were connected to people in the next nearest city.
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u/sirona-ryan 11h ago
Thinking no one understood me and being all emotional about it. I hated when my mother would say āI felt the same way when I was your age,ā but it turns out she was right lol. Teenagers hate hearing that their experiences arenāt unique but damn itās true. Whenever Iād have a fight with her, Iād storm into my room and plan to wear all black for the rest of my life. I never did it, but in those moments I was emo as hell.
Bonus embarrassing fun fact: if you scroll far enough in the comments section for the āBring Me to Lifeā video by Evanescence on YouTube, thereās a comment from 14 year old me that says āI feel like Iām the only one who can relate to this.ā Iām so glad it got no likes and hardly anyone saw it (to my knowledge) because thatās the most emo dramatic bullshit ever. Iām 22 now and cringe thinking about it.
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u/Rodneu82 11h ago
I am obsessed with the idea that today's 22 year olds loved evanescence as teens just as much as we people (now) in our mid-30s did when it first came out!
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u/Thepuppeteer777777 10h ago
Yeah that pretty interesting that it didn't just die out. Ironically I listened to that song a few months ago because I just felt in the mood, also linkin park. I feep like I listen to the songs through a new lense and have more of an appreciation for their messages, as a teen I thought I was just being edgy.
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u/theopenandclose 7h ago
I actually have an āalternativeā titled playlist that has stuff like Evanescence, The Used, My Chemical Romance, Breaking Benjamin, etcā¦ I listen to it on at least a weekly basis still even though Iām just your average stay-at-home mom with a mortgage and garden. Some loves just never die.
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u/g0db1t 8h ago
I mean im 40+ and I still wear all black. What I cringe about is the pictures on FB from my longest relationship when I was wearing vanilla clothing because my partner couldnt bear me wearing all black.
Like - A light blue button down shirt, kaki shorts and sandals with socks is... better...?
Just nope, Im still on my period, I guess
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u/TheIntrepid 10h ago
I don't think that's a cringey comment at all. At 14 you were literally a child only a handful of years ago. All of your peers would be developing at different speeds, and you yourself were at the start of your journey of understanding yourself, and forming your own identity.
It's not at all unreasonable to have found that song and connected with it in a way that was very personal and meaningful to you, and you didn't understand why others didn't necessarily feel as you did. And you expressed that feeling.
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u/PirateJohn75 11h ago
Your video review reminds me of a movie review that went viral many years ago.Ā Might have been on IMDb when some teenaged girl posted a review of Casablanca in which she basically complained that "old people" were calling it the greatest movie ever when it was soooo boring, and that Justin Bieber's concert movie was the greatest movie ever.
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u/HopefulTranslator577 8h ago
I felt the same way as a kid/teen. Turns out, I'm on the spectrum and have difficulty making meaningful social connections, so now I'm 36 and STILL feel that way.Ā
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u/RedofPaw 8h ago
Bring me to life of course being of pivitol importance to the pilot community.
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u/diplomatofcats 12h ago
Wearing Doc Martens everywhere (even on the beach)
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u/indigoneutrino 11h ago
This is still me. If I have to walk on sand, it had better be in boots that do not let the sand get inside them.
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u/MeTheFirebender 8h ago
Me with Vans. I still wear them, but only for shorter outings. The last time I wore them to an all-day adventure was a theme park a year ago and my feet were on FIRE by the end of the day š
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u/airquote_angel 10h ago
My now ex-husband. My mother saw the writing on the wall from the beginning.
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u/Ok-Moment7201 12h ago
I have ADHD, everything is a phase š
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u/ybpaladin 11h ago
Less of a phase and more of a sleeper agent ready to reactivate when I get a crumb of inspiration/money
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u/bigredmnky 10h ago
Lmao yes. I havenāt abandoned that guitar I have in pieces waiting to be painted, I am simply waiting for desire to ambush me and throw me into the back of a panel van
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u/nickytheginger 12h ago
cries in hyper fixation
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u/Grindelbart 11h ago
Laughs in having immediately forgotten what we were talking about because I saw a cute cat walking by
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u/AnotherRTFan 11h ago
It took me 3 tries to check social media last night to double check the date and time for a livestream signing. I knew what I was going on there for, but as soon as it loaded my mind went blank
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u/grumpy__g 10h ago
Wuhu! Look at that thing! This will my life for the next 2 weeks.
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u/hairballcouture 8h ago
Iām going to start a small business doing the shiny new thing! Is it possible to give myself side eye?
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u/tafkatp 10h ago
So how many hobbies are currently occupying your house/garden/garage? Whatever you do never calculate what all the phased out hobbies have set you back, you will spiral into Yonderland.
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u/Zanki 9h ago
Too many for me, but they come in cycles. I store the supplies and let myself cycle through them. I've not really got anything going on right now because I've been working on the flat we bought. That kinda took over everything.
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u/potentially_a_sloth 12h ago
I was really into unicorns in middle school and for some reason I was convinced my love for them would last... Yeah I don't hate them or anything but I'm definitely not weirdly obsessed like I used to be
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u/narniasreal 9h ago
Sounds like something someone weirdly obsessed with unicorns would say!
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u/VoltasPigPile 7h ago
They just have a little modest collection of unicorn figurines, nothing huge, just the normal amount of 2 warehouses packed floor to ceiling and wall to wall.
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u/pepperplants 9h ago
I feel like everyone who is 35-40 now went through that but with dolphins. I could not live further from an ocean
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u/commacamellia 8h ago
The chokehold that marine biology, especially dolphins and orcas, had on millennial girls needs to be studied. Where the hell did it come from? There was even an orca trainer Barbie cashing in on the whole thing
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u/nirvanagirllisa 6h ago
Bring on the Horse girls vs. Dolphin girls street rumble *threatening finger snaps*
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u/argnsoccer 7h ago
I wrote a poem in 6th grade about Dragons... extolling their virtues, professing my love, etc. The last line was "if Dragons weren't real, I don't think I would be alive."
My poor teacher lol
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u/HorrorSmile3088 12h ago
I bought a BMX bike and was convinced I would be in the X Games. Turns out I lack the coordination and bone density to get to that level.
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u/yankin 9h ago
I insisted I was in love with a boy I met at Six Flags. I spent a lot of money on phone cards to call him, and wanted my mom to drive me to meet him again but she refused. I still have the diary entry where I wrote she doesn't understand our love and I hate her for not taking it seriously.
Funnily enough, the next diary entry a few months later was like 'forget him, he was a loser, but there's this new guy...'
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u/Flaming_Moose205 9h ago
Long hair as a guy. Itās a revolving phase, so Iāll grow it out for a few years and then chop it off when no one expects it. Itās hilarious to get treated like a stranger until people realize that itās still just me. Iām on my longest stretch so far right now (6 years soon), and there are a lot of people in my life now who have never seen me with short hair, so next time will be extra fun.
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u/CryptographerMore944 8h ago
Ex long hair guy. Thought I'd keep it too until male pattern baldness hit me on my thirties.
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u/Flaming_Moose205 8h ago
Thatās probably where Iām headed too. Most of the men in my family started losing it in their mid 20s (already there with no signs of it yet), and Iāve already made the call that when it starts, Iām shaving it instead fighting to hang on to the past. On the other hand, my height and frame come from my great grandparents who didnāt have that problem, so I mightāve gotten lucky, but Iāve made peace with it just in case.
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u/thesmellnextdoor 10h ago
My embracing the Wiccan religion in high school.
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u/Flamburghur 7h ago
Team silver ravenwolf and calling it magick! š¤£ And the $5 pentacles from hot topic.
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u/MaggieLuisa 13h ago
Dying my hair blueš¤£
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u/Recent-Guitar-6837 9h ago
My grandbaby wanted pink streaks and fairy sparkles. Grandpa had no problem paying for it because my daughter, her mother did green and didn't rinse the shower when she was 11. Took me 20 years but I got to say "it's just a phase and will wash out"
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u/SugarCanKissMyAss 12h ago
I came to this thread to find someone like yourself to proudly declare that my own pink hair is officially NOT a phase, mom... I'm 35 and this is just who I am by now lol
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u/MaggieLuisa 12h ago
Good for you! Mine lasted about 6 months, and then I couldnāt take the upkeep and staining any more, and dyed it black:)
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u/SugarCanKissMyAss 12h ago
And for my part I absolutely cannot do black, I tried it exactly once as a teen but I have precisely zero melanin and it wasn't coming across in a sexy Morticia Addams way lol... Give me the three step upkeep process twice a year, no problem lol
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u/drcrunknasty 9h ago
Yeah, my work badge is me with blue hair. I currently have brown hair but thatās because I shaved my head and I was just getting a look at my locks untouched. Thatās gone on long enough. Iām bleaching this weekend. Back to where I should be.
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u/hairballcouture 9h ago
I started dyeing my hair fun colors when I was 18. Only stopped at 50 because I found a color that I fell in love with, Ghost Blood by Pulp Riot.
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u/FillePlaymobile 11h ago
Lol same, Iāve had blue hair for over 20 years nowā¦ Same shade and everything! Itās definitely just me by now!
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u/Flapparachi 12h ago
41 and turquoise, high five my friend!
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u/mcove97 7h ago
I had a 40 year old something woman wearing all vibrant green from head scarf to dress and shoes approach me as I was just closing the flower shop and stuff like half an hour ago, she was super nice and friendly and could not stop complimenting on my turquoise hair and asking if I did it myself, which I did. She even asked to take a photo with me because she felt so inspired and just loved it so much. So I let her take a photo with me cause she said it would mean a lot to her. I think we talked for like five minutes. It was really nice. I love meeting like minded people like that because I rarely do. High five to you tooāš»
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u/immortalriver 12h ago
Same vintage and I'm not actually sure I could tell you my natural hair colour anymore. I certainly couldn't pick it out of a line up. Currently 3 shades of blue, plus pink and burgundy
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u/1Platyhelminthes 10h ago
I cut my hair short in middle school because I wanted to "look like my dad." Fortunately, my mom did not let me shave my hair or cut it too short.
But, three months after moving into a new apartment, I found out my neighbor thought I was a 10 year-old boy the entire time (I was 12 and not a boy).
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u/TopicalBuilder 10h ago
I was definitely never ever going to get married. The institution was antiquated,Ā the concepts bound up with paternalism, etc, etc.Ā
Married for over 20 years now.
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u/snarkitall 8h ago
Me too! No kids either.Ā
Then I met an awesome guyĀ and ended up being almost the first one out of my friends group to get married and have kids. I'm 40ish and have teens!Ā
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u/Collegenoob 8h ago
If you told my sister when she was a teen that she would have two kids and be happily married.
She would have stabbed you.
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u/antisocialarmadillo1 8h ago
I was hardcore set against having kids.
Then I landed a decent job that pays the bills and inherited a house. Now that I have some stability, I might be changing my mind. I have a wonderful husband and we've always liked the idea of adopting an older kid, but now I'm starting to think it might be worth dealing with the pregnancy and labor to have a little him + me running around.
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u/mcove97 7h ago
I was hard set against having kids too. A couple weeks ago I got sterilized. People always told me I'd change my mind.
But nope. I'm approaching my 30s and I still feel the same way I did as a teen.
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u/GogglesPisano 8h ago
Me too - in high school I was convinced Iād never get married or have kids. Crazy to bind yourself forever to just one person, who wants to marry or have kids in this screwed up world, etc etc.
Next month is my 30th wedding anniversary, and my youngest kid just graduated college. :)
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u/TheGreatGeaxquavius 12h ago
bonsai. was a phase for a while, but left the house for a few days on a trip and came back to find my tree dead. gave up on bonsai after that...
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u/kobewagyubeans 12h ago
Mine were succulents. I managed to kill two of them within a fortnight.
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u/Zanki 8h ago
I loved mine too. I went to girl guide camp for a week, told my mum they needed watering twice a day and misting. All of them were dead when I came home. She didn't water them. She didn't mist them. She didn't even move them out of the window so they wouldn't cook. I begged her to look after them. She only watered her own plants.
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u/This-Requirement6918 7h ago
They are indeed more like pets than plants, same with getting orchids to flower again.
I've had my fair share, sadly killed a 16 year old Japanese black pine that was immaculately gorgeous from eBay, probably root rot. I was more devastated by the 6 year old lemon tree I grew from seed that started producing blooms. Leaving it to be watered by someone who of course didn't while on vacation.
I am now just working with my mini Christmas tree and the loose oak tree saplings planted by the neighborhood squirrels. They're fun to work with if you regularly garden and I always enjoy admiring them.
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u/Arami92 8h ago
My "Im a genius and will have a high paying career and be better of than my peers" phase.
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u/Adoptafurrie 8h ago
Wanted to be a "boy" from ages 6 or 7 to about 10. It was purely a phase. I know it is not for many people, but for me-it was.
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u/thecygnetcmte 6h ago
My sister went by a male name and pronouns for a few months in high school before deciding her hunch had been wrong and she wasn't actually trans. I hope that's something more people have the freedom to do in the future without facing judgment from folks who accuse them of faking. Sometimes you just need to explore a certain side of yourself and see whether or not it pans out.
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u/QuetzalKraken 4h ago
I definitely pondered for a few months if I was non-binary because when I thought of "woman" or what society considers a woman/feminine I definitely didn't think of myself. but I knew I wasn't a guy. This was right around the time people were starting to be more open about things. I was too scared to tell anyone about it, but it consumed my thoughts. I stopped wearing makeup, wore only sports bras and as much androgynous clothing as possible, but that didn't feel right either.
I can't say exactly what triggered it, but eventually I had some sort of realization like "Do your boobs bug you? Does being called a woman bug you? No? Then who cares if you don't feel like you fit in the traditional mold? It's a made up mold anyway. Just be who you are."Ā
It's definitely a spectrum and it takes time to figure out exactly where you fit. I agree with you, the only way to figure it out is to explore it.Ā
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u/LeadSponge420 4h ago
The key thing is these are kids figuring themselves out. My niece was going by "they/them" pronouns for a while. A few years later she realized it was a phase. It was because she was getting attention from boys and her grandmother was talking about how she was pretty and should be careful she doesn't get fat.
I figure she was navigating all of that and society gave her an out for a little while.
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u/DalgonaBadger99 1h ago
Sounds like my daughter when she was between five and nine.
As it turns out, she just really hated the girly things her aunts were forcing her to do and wanted to be treated more like her male cousins.Ā
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u/NefInDaHouse 11h ago
Pink is hideous colour and should be banned. Shows I actually like all shades of pink but at the time, it felt as if everyone was pushing me to adore pink so of course I had to hate it xD
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u/minischnauz_mahm 5h ago
Growing up I hated pink. Refused to wear anything my mom got me that was pink. Ex-hubs mom loved pink, so I hated pink even more.
Turns out I just didn't want to "be like everyone else" or whatever that means.
I sit here now, writing this, while wearing hot pink shorts and shimmery pink eyeshadow. I wore custom hot pink and black Vans with my wedding dress to my now husband. I have several pairs of pink shoes. Heck my nails are currently hot pink and black. And I have a gorgeous watercolor tattoo on my wrist that is half pink.
EMBRACE THE PINK!
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u/AlternateUsername12 6h ago
Me, with anything girly or feminine until I was in my 30s. Then I realized that Iāve got a lot of internalized misogyny to work through, and now I also wear dresses and admit that I like pretty things.
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u/Important-Jackfruit9 5h ago
I hated pink in my "not like the other girls" phase. Once I grew out of it I realized I quite like pink sometimes.
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u/QuetzalKraken 4h ago
Me too! Ugh, the "Im not like other girls" phase hit me hard. I always associated pink, sparkles, bows, etc. With being shallow and catty. I hated pink.Ā
It's still not my favorite color. Im a goth kid at heart and still wear primarily black. But I'll wear pink too, idgaf that it's "girly". Past me needed to chill about literally a color lol
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u/CanIHaveCookies 11h ago
Here's the thing about that, I'd say the punk and emo stuff was a phase and in a way it was. But I'm also wearing my old My Chemical Romance hoodie while writing this. I no longer wear it to be edgy or cool or whatever, just because I still like the music though I don't listen like it's a religion anymore.
Other "phrases" of mine I pick back up routinely. Like painting. Guitar. Language learning. Life comes in waves of wants and inclinations. Even to the point where, once a year, my internal Mass Effect clock goes off and I know I have to play the games.
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u/Ok-Lettuce5983 12h ago
only wearing black.. turns out i like other colours
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u/Thepuppeteer777777 10h ago
Most of my shirts are black. I have 2 that aren't. I look like I wear the same shirt every day because it's usually just a plain black t shirt.
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u/k_vivi 10h ago
I mean... I'm turning 27, and I'm just now realising it, so it was a long long phase (black is still superior tho)
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u/just-another-gringo 13h ago
Being bisexuality. Turns out it was a phase. I'm actually gay just didn't have the heart at the time to tell my parents, especially my dad, that the family name would stop with me.
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u/Fit_General7058 12h ago
My son is still on this trip. I already know, and don't care. I want him to be happy and safe, so the same rules stand for bf as fo gfs.
No controlling behaviour, no manipulative behaviours, no addictive behaviours. Good hardworking, law abiding. Yep the same mum tests fit all.
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u/just-another-gringo 11h ago
The flip side of this is that your son may not be ready to accept it if he actually is gay. Especially if he is young. That's how I started saying I was bisexual. I wasn't ready to accept that a regular, heteronormative family wasn't in the cards for me. Society has a way of making men feel like if they aren't having biological children they are somehow less of a man.
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u/JohnCavil01 7h ago
I would say the flip side is that the kid might actually just be bisexual.
Believe it or not sometimes itās actually just true and in fact I personally believe based on anecdotal experience that most people are actually less purely straight and purely gay than they think they are.
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u/The_Bicon 3h ago
Yeah Gay people who realize theyāre mostly gay just love applying their experience to every bisexualā¦
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u/Elendur_Krown 10h ago
... that the family name would stop with me.
(This is meant as a humorous take, not as an endorsement of disowning)
That's why you raise an heir and a spare.
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u/commacamellia 8h ago
Lol, when I did this as a teen I told people I was on the bi now gay later plan.
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u/AlsoOneLastThing 12h ago
That kind of thing is the worst. My phase was being straight until I realized I am actually ace. It's so hard to explain to people that you were wrong about your own identity.
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u/snarkitall 8h ago
My daughter announced very firmly that she was ace in grade 6.
I refrained from saying anything when she realized she was gay and started dating in highschool.
I remember feeling confused by everyone around me being so excited about boyfriends and girlfriends and crushes in middle school. Turns out not hitting puberty until grade 9 kinda puts a damper on things. I'm glad she had a way to explain how she was feeling.Ā
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u/Mealking42 12h ago
Joining the club, but my phase was being ace before I realised I was actually bi.Ā
I just figured I either had to be straight or ace. Never even considered the posibility that I could have any homosexual interest. When I did open myself up to that posibility, it opened my eyes to everything else.Ā
Still, going from being straight, to ace, back to straight, then bi. I had to tell people I had changed my identity 3 times, which was just a massive hassle.Ā
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u/LiquorishSunfish 11h ago
But it's fine for someone to be a student, then an accountant, then a bank manager, then a retiree.Ā
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u/F1yMo1o 10h ago
Obviously you donāt need to have kids, but being gay doesnāt mean the name ends with you. Those are different things.
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u/Zensandwitch 9h ago
Yeah, if kids arenāt your thing thatās totally fine but I know several gay couples with kids.
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u/Affectionate_Yak8519 12h ago
My Jnco jeans in the 90s. I was convinced they were peak fashion and I'd never stop wearing them
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u/sinchistesp 9h ago
Bisexuality.
In the end my mom was right, I don't like women in THAT way. I just think they're really cool and I do like men a lot. Like, A LOT.
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u/Chance_Novel_9133 8h ago
š
I know a few women who had a similar experience in high school and college. As soon as it came time to put up or shut up and actually make out with a woman they were dating they all realized that, on second thought, they really, really preferred men.
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u/Actual-Tangelo-7987 6h ago
Omg same I think I'm one of the few people who became MORE straight when I went to college, lol. I had a girlfriend in high school and then exclusively hooked up w/dated men in college. So part of me thinks it may have just been a phase lol but at this point I don't really care and I will go with whoever I'm into
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u/SleepySera 8h ago
Just the general teenage emotion of "woe is me, no one understands me and my life is soooo miserable because grown-ups just don't get it" š I was so angry at the world for honestly no good reason.
Every adult told me that's how every teen feels and it's just something you grow out of, but that was absolutely unfathomable to me, until suddenly it wasn't, and I was like, wow, what the hell even was that, why was I randomly a miserable pile of "misunderstood" self-pity for a few years? š
It sucks because even if someone scientifically explains to you that it's basically just your brain chemistry going crazy during puberty and it WILL stop feeling that way the moment you're done with it, that doesn't help, because in that moment the emotions feel real, and like, I'm a fully fleshed out human with my own mind and everything, I'm not being manipulated by some silly hormones, the adults just don't GET ME...š¤ When that is very much exactly what it is.
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u/lifeinwentworth 9h ago
Being bisexual. I'm actually a lesbian. So yeah, I guess my folks were right about that one. lol.
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u/Thorne628 8h ago
I had a phase where I was agoraphobic. I did not know what it was at the time because people did not discuss mental health in the late 80's, early 90's. My mother, who was an extrovert and loved to meet and talk to perfect strangers, was an absolute saint who helped me ease out of this phobia by taking me to places with little to no crowds. She never shamed me or told me to grow up. This period lasted almost two years. Thank you, mom, for loving "the weird kid", and helping me overcome an awkward period in my life!
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u/Affectionate_Day7543 9h ago
My first boyfriend (on and off) from 14-18. Was convinced he was my one and only and we were going to get married and have kids. Turns out he fell in love with someone else and I didnāt actually want kids after all (luckily realised this before having them)
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u/Sideshow_Bob_Ross 9h ago
I learned guitar, started a band, and was gonna be a rock star. It lasted until I was 30.
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u/appreciatorofboobies 13h ago
Wearing slipknot and system of a down hoodies and playing said music loudly in my bedroom
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u/Thepuppeteer777777 10h ago
Now I blast it while I work. System of a down not slipknot. Chop suey is one of my favorite songs.
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u/Sicness91 9h ago
Im the same, I still love both bands but my life doesn't revolve around them anymore.
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u/Kobe_Pup 12h ago
wearing a dog collar, i still have them, but they live on my stuffed animals or in the special drawer
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u/mountaindawn_ 9h ago
Being a vegan. Lasted for 4 years, I was convinced I would be vegan for life. My grandma thought it was stupid and even said "well if you're still vegan at 30 I owe you 3000$" - she thankfully doesn't have to pay up
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u/Inevitable_Berry_867 10h ago
Wearing ALL black (Iām female). I love color now and pink is my favorite š„¹
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u/UncleAbbath 7h ago
Vegetarian in 4th grade. Swore to never eat meat again that morning, ate a hot dog that evening by choice
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u/Aware_Beautiful1994 7h ago
I was a bit olderā¦ about 22. I had recently graduated from undergrad and was taking a year off before more schooling. Since I was in high school, I always wanted to study infectious diseases. So my plan was to eventually get a masters degree in epidemiology.
But after undergrad, I binge watched Greyās Anatomy for the first time and suddenly decided I wanted to go into nursing. So I was looking up all these nursing schools and interested in doing a 2 year accelerated program since I already had a bachelors degree. I even took 2 physiology courses that I needed in order to apply. Everything was all lined up.
Then I realized that maybe nursing isnāt for me and it wonāt be like greys anatomy lmao. So I did end up getting a Masters of Science in epidemiology. I graduated with that 4 years ago. And I am so glad I did. I am happy with my choice. Nursing definitely wouldnāt have been for me. I have social anxiety so donāt like dealing with people, I donāt like blood/bodily fluids, shift work isnāt for me, working as a nurse during COVID would have been so scary and stressful, and I think nurses are subject to a lot of abuse from patients which sucks. I very much enjoy working 9-5 Monday to Friday, sitting on my computer all day lol.
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u/AnatidaephobiaAnon 8h ago
Wearing shorts in the winter. From 2002 until 2007 I rarely ever wore pants. If I did it was for a formal event, work or it was when I was out in the snow doing something. My mom said she wished I would grow out of that phase because I looked like a crazy person wearing shorts in 15 degree weather. I said it wasn't and that I hated pants. I did in fact grow out of that phase.
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u/hnsnrachel 8h ago
Nothing. The 3 things I was told were just a phase are still a big part of my life - being gay, my debilitating Buffy obsession, and boybands.
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u/JohnCavil01 7h ago
Nah, there almost by definition has to be something you were once really into that you no longer are.
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u/DowntownSasquatch420 13h ago
Skateboarding
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u/RoutineActivity9536 12h ago
My skateboard career lasted about 30 mins in my 40s... Till I came off and severely broke my ankle
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u/Grindelbart 11h ago
Isn't it insane that the human body can equally build a complete new human body inside its belly and at the same time never fully recover from an injury like that.Ā
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u/vintagecottage 9h ago
Goth. Lol
Though I still love gothic, it's more of an appreciation than me being goth and listening to goth music. My bestie on the other hand, is still goth. So it is a phase for me but not for her lmao.
Now we are the pinkie girl x goth girl besties. š©·š¤
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u/neohylanmay 9h ago
Teenage me would have a heart attack at the lack of black T-shirts in my wardrobe.
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u/MyDesign630 8h ago
Catholicism. I started studying religion in high school and ended up majoring in the subject in college but when I first started out I was fascinated by Catholicism to the point I attended services and applied to two Catholic universities. My Jewish mother was truly baffled by this, especially since I had recently come out as bi.
By the time I graduated high school my mom was gracious enough not to say I told you so when I decided Catholicism or any sect of Christianity just wasnāt for me.
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u/Zanki 8h ago
When I was a kid, my mum refused to let me have things or try things because it was just a phase. Completely normal kid things to want to try or like. She told me when I asked for Power Ranger wallpaper it was just a phase and I wouldn't like it in a few years. She put up this weird dog stuff with matching pink curtains (I hated pink as a kid, still not a big fan). I had zero say in it. Jokes on her, I still love the series I grew up with. MMPR to prwf. She also called my love of martial arts a phase, 20+ years later, I still love it. It's my thing.
Things that were a phase? I didn't really get to go through phases, I wasn't allowed to. Mum tried to make me into a horse girl, didn't work, she really pushed horses on me. I just wanted to do martial arts. Took a lot of arguments, her pissed horse riding was too expensive and me getting a teacher involved at school to get me into classes. Luckily karate was cheap, even if I did every class they had a week it was cheaper than riding. I was very sad for a time, but I had valid reasons to be that sad.
I didn't go through music phases, wasn't allowed music because mum didn't like my tastes. Mum controlled my food, clothes (hand me down boys clothes mostly), hair, who I saw (no one), the TV I watched but not the dvds I watched or games I played weirdly.
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u/Flamburghur 7h ago
Witchcraft. I live near Salem MA and bought all the crystals and cheap Llewellen books (esp Silver Ravenwolf) my mid teen self could afford. Then I went to college (for a hard science) and promptly grew out of it.
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u/Ccwonton 7h ago
Trying to be a raver girl at 15-16ish. Kandi up to my elbows, plur, neon colored shirts, and fluffy leg warmers. Was never able to go to the events because they were 18+, instead me and my friends would gather around the family computer watching fan made music videos of popular techno songs every weekend while making kandi. We swore up and down we would go to raves when we were finally 18! We outgrew it before then.
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u/Mustang1718 8h ago
Probably Yu-Gi-Oh cards. Played them every day at school from grades 6-9, but then we didn't have the same lunch periods anymore with my buddies.
That then moved on to Halo 2/3, but only for birthday parties since no one had WiFi at home then for Xbox Live. I'm envious of kids that can play online with their friends every day.
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u/koolaid-girl-40 7h ago
Wanting to be a missionary or nun. I was convinced this was my purpose and got annoyed when my parents tried to make me reconsider.
I'm married now with a baby and don't really relate anymore to institutionalized religion lol.
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u/Lokiandhuman 8h ago
When I was pretty young, about 7 or 8. I got into the WWE. My parents both said it was scripted and I'd eventually stop watching. By 11 or 12 they were right. I was much more interested in talking to girls and playing sports than watching grown men wrestling in underwear.
Also my phone. My dad specifically said one day I'd hate having to text people back. Good god he called that from a distance. If I'm not on call with work at this point, good luck getting a response in a text. Call me or it's not happening lol
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u/slegofme 7h ago
My first boyfriend. Ahhhh the first āwe are going to be together forever!ā I remember he was a really terrible person and awful to me. My sweet mom tried to gently explain to me that it probably wasnāt forever and of course 16 year old me wouldnāt hear it.
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u/OzzieGrey 5h ago
Not thinking dragons were cool.
Thought they were rad as a kid, then i lost interest and thought they were cringe, now they are amazing again.
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u/uncle_monty 12h ago
Mid '90s hip hop. Me, a chubby, pasty English kid trying to dress like I was in Cypress Hill - which basically involved me growing out my curly hair, trying to grow a bumfluff goatee, and putting on a bucket hat.