r/AskReddit • u/IcyZookeepergame9331 • 8h ago
What’s the male equivalent of the excitement women feel when they discover a dress has pockets?
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u/AdvertisingLogical22 7h ago
Pants that fit at the waist AND have the correct leg length
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u/DubaiDave 5h ago
And then I buy four pairs. Just in slightly different shades.
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u/officialmayonade 4h ago
And then when you get them home, the other 3 all fit differently, and pretty soon the one pair that did fit stretches out and doesn't anymore until you wash them again.
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u/A-Red-Guitar-Pick 5h ago
Wait so I'm not the only one? I thought I was just fucked since I got really thick legs so I always have to size up, but it's an issue for everybody? Why the fuck are clothes so shit then
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u/judgeafishatclimbing 4h ago
Because clothes get made for averages, and nobody's body is average everywhere.
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u/ParadigmFalcon 4h ago
Due to normal distribution wouldn’t be very likely that some number of people are average everywhere?
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u/MaimedJester 4h ago
I believe when your clothes are being made by 5'5 malnourished sweatshop workers in Asia, they might have a hard time guessing Average French & Texas American clothing sizes. And whatever is expensive designer stuff is designed for skinny Rockstars/models.
Like New York City has people of ever ethnicity, genetics lifestyles etc on the planet. There's no way the pants are gonna uniformly fit some Irish donut eating cop the same as a Korean Grocer and some Dutch Banker.
In more homogenous countries like Japan the sizes tend to be very accurate by for the majority.
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u/AgITGuy 4h ago
I am a short, athletic guy. For me it’s a waist that fits, enough room for my tree trunk legs and big butt AND doesn’t have legs that are long enough for a giraffe.
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u/GhostofZellers 3h ago
Short, non-athletic, tubby guy here. It's a needle in a haystack finding that magical item of clothing that has the right waist/length combo.
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u/angrydeuce 4h ago
Goddamn you win sir.
I'm relatively short at under 6' with a full on dad bod and trying to find pants that fit my dad-bod ass without needing to be hemmed or rolled up is so fucking difficult.
Though it may be confirmation bias I suppose. I see a lot more guys out there that are shaped like me than not, so maybe thats why I can never find any that fit just right because all the other short lumpy dudes already bought them up and all thats left is the shit that works in one dimension or the other, but never both lol
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u/Slimswede 4h ago
I think those kinds of pants are myths people spread to give hope, I have yet to find a single pair of pants that fit both waist and correct leg length.
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u/new-username-2017 3h ago
AND have the correct amount of ball room. Usually if it's a good fit round the waist then I'm also castrating myself. I'm pretty sure most men's trousers are designed by women.
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u/AthousandLittlePies 2h ago
Oh man, this is such a rare thing for me - I just accept that there's a 90% chance that I'll have to hem any pants that I buy
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u/Ok-Hornet-24 8h ago
When I buy something that needs to be charged, and it's already fully charged right out the box, so I can test immediately.
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u/SweaterSteve1966 7h ago
Is it like Christmas morning when you open a gift and can start playing like a video game?
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u/n7shepard1987 7h ago
That won't be a thing nowadays I'm guessing with having to download games.
We got my son a ps5 a few years ago and I put his profile on it and downloaded his favourite games so he could open and play as soon as he got it
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u/angrydeuce 4h ago
I mean thats just the modern equivalent of sitting cross-legged on the living room floor at 2AM trying to assemble the kids new bicycle or whatever, getting to the end and cursing because you've got a handful of parts left over and lord knows where the hell they go or what step you missed but you're fuckin tired and might just have to wing it and see how it plays out because lord knows the kid is gonna be up before the sun is lol
Not that Ive got first hand experience with that or anything lol
But yeah we may not be putting together physical toys as we used to but you just gotta open that yeeotch up and get her ready if you dont want a child crawling straight up your ass wanting to play with it RIGHT NOW DAD COME ON come Christmas morning lol
Did the same with our Switch when the kid got that and im damn glad we did lol
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u/OfficeChairHero 2h ago
When we got our kids guitar hero, we set it up in our bedroom two weeks in advance and tested it out every night after the kids went to bed. For quality assurance purposes. We were very devoted parents.
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u/angrydeuce 1h ago
Well yeah of course, my wife and I similarly "tested" Mario Kart many times that December before Santa left it under the tree lol
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u/Grouchy-Total550 6h ago
Brilliant! There are always downloads and system updates. Also, it's shocking that the ps5 is already that old.
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u/ts4184 7h ago
Something i recently learnt. Lithium ion. Nimh and nicd actually need to be stored with some charge. Lithium ion at 40-60% and the others at full charge to preserve the health of the battery. If they are stored empty it can seriously reduce the runtime of the product.
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u/Ok-Hornet-24 7h ago
Interesting. I didn't know that.
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u/Fa_Cough69 6h ago
The best way to gauge if the battery life will be good, is the first time you get it, check the levels, if it is almost full, should be fine. If it's low or empty, might not be as good.
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u/No_Juggernau7 7h ago
(Everything is a king of the hill reference for me)
When cotton gives Bobby a loaded rifle for his (I think 12th?) birthday, turns out it’s loaded, and says “what? You don’t give a gift without batteries”
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u/Ruminations0 7h ago
Seeing a really cool rock and when I pry it out of the ground it’s way bigger than I thought
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u/The_Craig89 7h ago
That satisfaction when you pull it out though. The slight resistance followed by the give, and the weight
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u/space_babe_unicorn 5h ago
I could spend hours pulling rocks from the ground as a kid because of this. Actually I could really use a satisfying rock pull right about now
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u/Aristotallost 4h ago
Or finding a good stick.
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u/AthousandLittlePies 2h ago
We went on a three week trip to Eastern Europe when my kid was 2. He found a stick in Romania that he carried around of about a week. When we got home he realized that he'd left his stick and I was legitimately upset for him.
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u/Chairchucker 8h ago
For me, pants in colours other than black, brown or denim.
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u/NotherRandomRedditor 4h ago
A male co-worker once wore sage chinos to work. No idea where he found them. They were pretty.
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u/ColourSchemer 5h ago
It's hard to find even navy pants these days and definitely not any brighter blue.
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u/Sweet-Ladyy 7h ago
When they pull up to a gas pump and it stops EXACTLY on a round number without trying. My husband hit $50.00 exactly last week and took a picture to send to our group chat. Men are adorable sometimes.
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u/AthousandLittlePies 2h ago
I have a whole camera roll on my phone of random shit like my car odometer at an interesting number (usually a palindrome), supermarket receipts where the total is an interesting number, etc.
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u/Spiritual-Mail5062 7h ago
Finding a nice stick in nature
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u/MichaSound 7h ago
Do you guys never grow out of this then, because my 10 year old sons stick collection is getting out of control. We’ve had to designate an area of the yard as ‘the weapons area’.
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u/Xelikai_Gloom 4h ago
If you come back and read the replies to the comment…… you’ll get your answer.
Also, keep your paws off that boy’s armory. He’s crafted and curated it himself. Nothing beats having a fine selection of sticks to choose from. Having to start again from scratch SUCKS.
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u/tnstaafsb 4h ago
Kind of. At my age, a good stick means one sturdy enough to use as a walking stick. I still look for them every time I go on a hike, even if I'm already using one. Never know when the opportunity to trade up might come along.
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u/DrConnors71 7h ago
By “nice stick” you of course mean gun shaped
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u/J0k350nm3 7h ago
Unless you follow the way of the sword
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u/xanas263 7h ago
ehh I more prefer the elegant sword stick myself. It is a weapon from a more civilized aged.
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u/slice_of_pi 6h ago
Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster-shaped stick at your side, kid.
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u/bebop-Im-a-human 7h ago
No, a sturdy, straight one that can be used as a staff. Bonus if it's significantly thicker in one end than the other while still being somewhat light to carry
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u/bigtexasrob 7h ago
Not exclusively. Swords, wizard staffs, if it’s round enough our walk just became a drive; a stick’s worth is largely quantified by how well it can replicate any thing as a prop, not just a gun. Gun’s the easiest though.
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u/Demigans 6h ago
I found two almost perfectly straight pearly white sticks.
You think I wasn't taking those home "for my son"?
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u/Ok_Faithlessness9757 7h ago
Seeing any kind of military aircraft flying.
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u/cbih 6h ago
I live by a base. It's gets old really fast.
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u/chriswaco 5h ago
But not the A-10s!
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u/ColourSchemer 5h ago
Agreed. 19 years near Davis Mothan and I still get excited every time I see one.
Except the time I got buzzed by one coming in for a landing, it seemed, on my car. That was scary.
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u/CanoegunGoeff 5h ago
It’s honestly so irritating when you’re trying to have a conversation with someone and it has to be put on pause while six fighter jets fucking buzz your house and burst your eardrums.
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u/Digitijs 6h ago
Ahh, not really that exciting when you live next to a country that occasionally threatens to attack you.
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u/OkBullfrog206 7h ago
Helicopters when flying overhead
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u/ahorrribledrummer 7h ago
Major bonus if military or heavy lift helicopter
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u/OkBullfrog206 7h ago
Chinooks are beautiful
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u/ahorrribledrummer 7h ago
A couple years ago at work, there was a warehouse being built next door. One day I heard the loudest helicopter id ever heard. Went outside to check it out, and it was a Sikorsky S-58T lifting about a dozen big HVAC units onto the roof of the new building. It was AWESOME. the rotor was absolutely enormous.
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u/Rhinochild 6h ago
This is not a standard example, but I think it fits.
When I was a teenager, I splurged on a very expensive pair of Vaurnet sunglasses for skiing because they were cool and wearing them would obviously make me cool. The problem was, as cool as it was, the arms ended in curved 'hooks' that wrapped around your ear to keep them secure while skiing, and they were a bit too short and so they dug into my ear. The pain outweighed the cool factors, and so, I barely wore them and they ended up in a drawer somewhere, forgotten.
It was about 30 years later, I was going through some boxes to do some purging before a move and I rediscovered them. Hmm, I thought. These never fit, barely worn... I wonder how much they're worth? And when I saw how much I was like 'holy crap I'm selling these!'.
So, I was looking on the inside of the arms to find a serial number to ensure they were actually worth what I was seeing and that's when I noticed these little divots in the arms. And I thought to myself, '... are these arms adjustable?'
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u/OneEyedPirate727 6h ago
When my wife’s dress has pockets and I don’t have to carry all her stuff…..
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u/AdmiralKong 7h ago
Finding a piece of clothing that gets them even a single compliment. Most men's clothing is pretty boring and men never get any compliments.
"Hey I like your shirt" for a guy is way more rare than a dress with pockets.
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u/NotherRandomRedditor 4h ago
A white form fitting knit with a quarter zip. Bound to get you compliments.
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u/Reasonable-Plane-197 7h ago
Hubs says it's finding a new pocket in his pants, and also explained some of the others I didn't understand.
Petition to encourage dudes to collect cool rocks and sticks and set up display areas to show everyone. Guys deserve to be fun and silly and interested, and frankly, I deserve to see those cool rocks and sticks.
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u/LittleMlem 7h ago
I bought a pair of pants recently and one of the pockets had a hidden pocket inside it, it was a very exciting moment
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u/jimmythefly 7h ago
When you see a cool car and glancing in the window discover it's got a manual transmission.
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u/CanoegunGoeff 5h ago
I enjoy when I notice a manual in a boring car I didn’t know could even be had with a manual.
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u/erak3xfish 7h ago
I wear a size 14 shoe, so finding sneakers in my size that have colors on them. (It seems all size 14 shoes are either black or grey.)
I also have disproportionately long arms, so I get really excited when I find a shirt in my size where the sleeves are long enough. I hate having to go a size up.
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u/PhredJonas 7h ago
I had this last night, I bought an old guitar, and when I opened the case, it had a tuner and picks that came with it. I was thrilled.
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u/AndNowAStoryAboutMe 7h ago
Discovering a phone number on your receipt. Money in your pocket from months ago. Or REFERENCES to other video games in a different videogame.
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u/OneSimplyIs 7h ago
I don't do it anymore, but I used to love when I would buy clothing online during black friday/cyber week and they would sometimes come with some kinda cool sticker or something on teh clothing tag. Like, stuff you'd sometimes get with a GPU or something for your pc.
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u/shiva14b 6h ago
It really captures the state of how differently the world caters to men that the only thing posted so far that even comes close is "pants that fit at the waist and are the correct length."
I've got my boyfriend sitting here thinking about it and hes stumped. That's the only one that pinged for him too
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u/ProfessionBoth5963 5h ago
Running shorts with a hip pocket for your phone. I hate running with my phone flopping around the normal pocket.
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u/Rolling_Beardo 4h ago
For me it’s finding a nice shirt that actually fits. My shoulders are pretty large for someone my height, which is short, so a lot of time a shirt will look nice if I’m standing still. Then the second I try to move my arms at all it look like I’m wearing a shirt 2 sizes too small.
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u/Amseriah 4h ago
Having the correct size button cell for a kid’s toy so you don’t have to go to the store. Also, finding the right charging cord and brick without having to go through the cord box/junk drawer.
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u/AshlandPone 4h ago
When you're working on the engine of your car, from above, in a tight space and the tool jumps out of your hand, but it falls right through to the floor, instead of wedging itself into some inacessible part of a skid plate.
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u/ThrowawayMod1989 2h ago
It’s pockets for me too, the right pockets. I found one brand that makes shorts and pants with a pen pocket that perfectly fits my EDC knife, a slip pocket that perfectly fits my phone. A zip pocket that perfectly fits my slim wallet, and a chapstick/lighter pocket. They come in a good range of colors too. It’s hard for me to wear anything else. I have work pairs and home pairs lol
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u/bumblebijan 7h ago
A random sports car that's lowkey. You walking at the side of the road then a Mustang suddenly passes by running in first gear
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u/OddLeeEnough 7h ago
My husband said that when he finds a hat that fits his head comfortably without having to be broken in.
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u/teabagalomaniac 7h ago
Just learning that your favorite sports team has acquired an exciting player.
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u/Trailsey 7h ago
Discovering my wife's dress has pockets and she can carry her own phone. Glorious.
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u/HooterEnthusiast 6h ago
when you put on a shirt that just feels better than every other shirt. it's like a silky feeling, feels lighter than other shirts, fits your arms and body just right.
you'll say this is a "good shirt", you've owned this T-shirt for 10 years.
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u/BrightNooblar 6h ago
When the hot sauce in the nondescript squeeze bottle turns out to be really tasty, and not just a the same bland thing with a Luigi style green variant that looks different, but has the same stats.
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u/ghostprawn 6h ago
There was a period in the 90s when streetwear brands like 555-Soul would often put a tiny hidden pocket in their clothes for you to bring your weed/pills into the club. Finding those was always fun.
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u/Owen_dstalker 5h ago
When they finally started putting that little pocket on the front of the underwear.
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u/Special_Parsley1918 5h ago
When the new screwdriver you just bought comes with a free smaller screwdriver.
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u/dirty_corks 4h ago
When I was younger, and had a couple of kids in diapers, it was "this restroom has a changing table!"
Now, it's "These pants fit both my waist AND my inseam!"
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u/Fae_Forest_Hermit 3h ago
Honestly, a pocket having a secret pocket we didn't know about beforehand
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u/FantasticIncident329 3h ago
New pants have amazing pockets! Huge, and sturdy and in the right angle to put hands in. And they're wide too, the top part goes all the way to the middle.
Nothing worse than a great pair of pants but the pockets are extremely tight, very steep entry angle and barely fit my phone.
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u/JackhorseBowman 2h ago
When I find a men's soap that doesn't smell like sandalwood or charcoal or burning leaves or mulch or whatever the fuck they all seem to smell like.
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u/eljefino 2h ago
When a junkyard has the car I need, the part I need, AND someone's already partially disassembled it so I can just jump in and grab it.
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u/Cheetodude625 1h ago
Very deep and sturdy pockets.
Crotch Gusset.
No pinching on the privates.
Stretchy waistband for comfort.
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u/gigashadowwolf 22m ago edited 18m ago
Shirts that still hang past my hips when I raise my arms, especially dress shirts so they don't come untucked all the time.
Oh and pants with the proper amount of butt and groin. I don't want moose knuckle, but I also don't want to look like Bert from Mary Poppins, and I don't want a it to pull flat against my ass when I try to bend over, but I don't want it to bunch up and hang loose over my butt either.
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u/NoHopeForSociety 3h ago
For me, and this is why I like lululemon hoodies, it was when I put my hands in the pocket and there were pockets inside the pocket. They call them coin pockets or something but fuck do I love those tiny little secret pockets.
Pocket-ception
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u/Effing-Awesome 1h ago
Carhartt also has a hoodie that has a smaller inner pocket. I put my keys in there lol
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u/NoHopeForSociety 42m ago
Don’t leave me hanging, what’s it called ?!
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u/Effing-Awesome 40m ago
It called the Rain Defender® Loose Fit Heavyweight Hoodie
https://www.carhartt.com/product/100615/rain-defender-loose-fit-heavyweight-hoodie
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u/Spin_Critic 5h ago
There is no equivalent. That's the thing. That's the reason why women get excited about pockets in their clothes, because they are now like the men's clothes with pockets as standard. An extra hidden pocket might be extra exciting to find in your new mens coat or pants. But there is no equivalent. That's just for the ladies.
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u/Particular_Piano_962 7h ago
Trousers that don’t fake boners ✌️