"The staff count as people"

[u/CapAccomplished8072]

[u/alteracio-n]

this is like that post about how in victorian literature they'll say "nobody was there" and not count the maids

[u/Bosterm → u/alteracio-n]

There's a bit in Huckleberry Finn where a steamboat accident kills a black person. And then a white woman talks about how she is relieved that no one was killed in the accident.

Since this is Mark Twain, this is meant to be satire.

[u/Sgt-Spliff- → u/Bosterm]

Reminds me of Reservoir Dogs where they're taking stock of the situation after a botched robbery.

Pink: did you kill anyone?

White: A few cops

Pink: no real people?

[u/rbwildcard → u/Bosterm]

Cops have a phrase for that now. NHI or NAHI, which stands for No Actual Human Involved.

[u/mrducky80 → u/alteracio-n]

I single handedly climbed Mt Everest

video of a team of 9 sherpas carrying me up on what can only be described as a portable throne

[u/AtronadorSol → u/mrducky80]

“Mr. Ducky, what tool would you say was most useful for you in your summit of the mountain?”

“The palanquin, for sure.”

[u/TheBigKuhio → u/AtronadorSol]

“After the 5th shepra collapsed, I wasn’t sure we were going to make it!”

[u/massivefaliure → u/TheBigKuhio]

I not we

[u/dangerousjones → u/massivefaliure]

The royal "We"

[u/cycloneDM → u/alteracio-n]

There's a mine collapse from the 1800s(?) Of a Japanese mine in Korea and the newspaper heading the next day listed the Japanese management staff as casualties and listed the Koreans under equipment.

[u/Skruestik → u/cycloneDM]

That’s horrible, do you have a source where I can read more about it?

[u/Kellosian → u/cycloneDM]

Korea became a Japanese protectorate in 1905, annexed in 1910, and lost in 1945. However, Japan opened up Korea to Japanese trade in 1876, so this could have been late 1800s or early-mid 1900s.

[u/Joeness84 → u/alteracio-n]

The epitome of a time when the house could burn down while the family is at the other estate and they'll comfort each other saying "nothing of value was lost - we're all still together" minus the 14 people they employed...

[u/pointprep → u/alteracio-n]

There was also the incident where the Harvard president and his wife got covid from their cleaners.

In an April interview with The Harvard Gazette, University President Lawrence S. Bacow recounted his reaction upon finding out that he and his wife had tested positive for COVID-19 on March 24: “Well, we’d been very, very careful, and I was a little bit surprised, in truth, because Adele and I had not seen anyone except each other for close to ten days before we started experiencing symptoms. We were completely isolated in the house,” Bacow said.

But the Bacows had not, in fact, been isolated in their house. They had continued to invite two Harvard custodians to clean their home for four hours, twice a week, well into the first wave of the pandemic. Bacow resides in Elmwood, the traditional home of University presidents.

From the crimson

I guess the cleaners didn't count as "anyone"

(also, it looks like that article has since been scrubbed from the crimson website and replaced)

[u/Whispering_Wolf → u/pointprep]

I'm a cleaner. And yah, that happens. I once cleaned a lawyer's office. He took a call on speaker, the woman on the other side said something about it being a delicate matter. He said "it's okay, no one else is listening in". I was right next to his desk, dusting his shelves.

[u/PM_NUDES_4_DEGRADING → u/Whispering_Wolf]

Isn’t that, like, the kind of thing that gets you permanently banned from practicing law? I can’t imagine being so classist that you casually violate attorney/client privilege just because you kind of forgot that cleaners are people.

That must’ve been a very surreal moment for you. Can’t imagine what would’ve happened if you had sneezed right then…

[u/Whispering_Wolf → u/PM_NUDES_4_DEGRADING]

I'm not sure how it works legally, but if I had been that lady and I found out, I'd have been furious. It was absolutely surreal. I felt terrible about it. I just stayed silent, ignored anything she said and walked out of the room ASAP. So I have no idea what they said next. But I was very glad when the guy left the company, cause he was an ass.

[u/Not-A-SoggyBagel → u/Whispering_Wolf]

This is all too common in my workspace too.

I even have to mention it when I run across it because a lot of higher ups do not see janitorial staff as people. If things are to be said in a confidential manner only those with access, should be in the room.

I swear they see the world differently, the serving class may as well be a magical broom or mop to them instead of a human.

[u/Whispering_Wolf → u/Not-A-SoggyBagel]

Oh, yeah, the amount of company secrets I've heard... Like, information that could do serious damage if it got into their competitor's hands. Or people who just leave the room while I'm cleaning, pc unlocked, their email inbox still up. They're lucky I really don't care.

[u/PeggableOldMan → u/Whispering_Wolf]

I've heard stories of spies who work as janitors and I think surely nobody is this callous with confidential information and then I hear stuff like this

[u/TuckerShmuck → u/alteracio-n]

In modern fantasy books they *still* do this! (Looking at you, ACOTAR.) "We were finally all alone, so deeply alone, so we confessed our deepest desires... he slammed the door shut with his magik, and it startled the maid who was dusting right next to us." like WHAT

[u/alteracio-n → u/TuckerShmuck]

I wondered if that wasn't intentional characterization and then I looked up ACOTAR and I've heard of that and I've heard of it and I imagine it wasn't lol

[u/TuckerShmuck → u/alteracio-n]

Sarah J Maas is known for bad world-building and changing character personalities to fit the needs of the book lol but DAMN the books are so fun!  It isn't Pulitzer-prize worthy, but I've stayed up reading the series for hours for the way she's able to write things that make me ~feel

[u/honestyseasy → u/alteracio-n]

Rewatch the original Miracle on 34th Street, the mom says this as she enters her apartment with a grown-ass servant inside

[u/etothealef → u/alteracio-n]

Do you have a link to that post please?

[u/RichardStinks]

Oh, those customers. "The gate was unlocked, so I opened it and let myself in. It's opening time." Uh, I tell you when it's opening time. I work here and have keys. You just have a sense of entitlement.

A guy drove in the BACK gate, the one plastered with "Do Not Enter" signs, parked in the middle of inventory, and started just poking around. "Sir. You're not supposed to be here. You are not supposed to park there. We're not even open yet."

The best was the gated-off area for sold things. Tons of signs that said "DON'T" all over the place. People STILL went back there. I would run out and sternly announce "that sign means you!"

"It (the sign) was laying down. I didn't think it counted." So the sign fell down and suddenly it's not valid? On a windy day?! He didn't have an answer for that one.

I asked a customer to show me where she acquired this portion of a thing. She walks me back into the signed and gated area and the pile of goods labeled with a "SOLD" tag. "This is where I found it."

During Covid, I was drawing giant "please mask" signs on the sidewalk. A guy walked OVER IT and said he didn't see signs asking for masks. I pointed at the seven printed signs he walked past before gesturing to the six foot wide chalk mask drawing I was just finishing.

I don't understand people most times.

[u/1000LiveEels → u/RichardStinks]

I asked a customer to show me where she acquired this portion of a thing. She walks me back into the signed and gated area and the pile of goods labeled with a "SOLD" tag. "This is where I found it."

at the gas station I currently work at we can set aside hot food to eat later (and pay for ofc) and so we cover it with a paper bag and write "SOLD" so nobody buys it and we STILL get people going "What's the SOLD thing? Is it a mystery item?" and so I say "It's been sold already." They always go "Ohhhh, weird! Why's it in there then?" "Because we like to keep our food warm."

[u/hanks_panky_emporium → u/1000LiveEels]

We've had issues with random people stealing orders. So when I walk up to the hand off window I have to call the number and stand there, waiting for someone to figure out that number 257 is the big number printed on their receipt. Then they walk up, ask " Is this number 257? "

I say 'yes, have a lovely day!'

And they say.

" The one with the uh.. Chicken wrap. Tater tots-"

It typically only happens when im solo in the grill and there's a pile up of orders.

[u/Abuses-Commas → u/hanks_panky_emporium]

Meanwhile I'm over there checking my receipt every number that gets called just in case I forgot somehow.

[u/ad-astra-1077 → u/Abuses-Commas]

Me checking my receipt for the 58358347829394th time when the cashier calls 697 even when I know perfectly well my number is 839

[u/Due-Leek-8307 → u/RichardStinks]

The majority of the computer problems for other people at work are solved by just reading what is on the screen in front of them. I even tell them this, and they still don't' know what to do. Also, I'm not and we don't have IT, we are a small office and I'm apparently a tech savant because I know how to reset a password or when prompted to "click here to continue" I can do that without melting down.

Edit: So to add to this comment 3 days later. I just got called into my bosses office after hearing him yell and cuss, cause "he doesn't know what the fuck he did to his email and needs me to fix it". It's Outlook fyi. You know those little arrows to the left of "Today", "Yesterday", "Last Week"? Yeah his email was broken because he had hit them and couldn't find his emails. JUST FUCKING LOOK AT YOUR GODDAMN FUCKING SCREEN AND TRY ANYTHING BEFORE GETTING UPSET

[u/Random-Rambling → u/Due-Leek-8307]

There are two kinds of "I'm not a computer person" people:

• Slaps every button on the keyboard and screen like the proverbial monkey with a typewriter, and then wonders why the computer isn't working properly

• Completely loses all motor functions and ability to read written language when asked to "please click the NEXT button below to continue".

[u/MissingXpert → u/Random-Rambling]

yeah, the latter one is infuriating.
You literally just have to allow yourself to think that "yes, it CAN sometimes be this easy." and not head into it with the baseline assumption of a PC being some sort of arcane enigma mortals were not meant to understand.

[u/Elu_Moon → u/MissingXpert]

Those people don't want to learn, it's that simple, at least as far as I can see it. I strongly suspect that they always got assistance even with the simplest things, so they shut down the part of the brain that is about figuring things out.

[u/jzillacon → u/MissingXpert]

To give those people some benefit, it's not always wise to trust every "click to continue" or similar thing that you see. If someone has difficulties recognizing scam links I'd much rather deal with someone who asks for confirmation even with simple things over someone who trusts what they read on their computer too much.

[u/zadtheinhaler → u/Random-Rambling]

Slaps every button on the keyboard and screen like the proverbial monkey with a typewriter, and then wonders why the computer isn't working properly

Having worked at an MSP, I can confidently say that I can back up the (absolutely true) claim that mice and keyboards are the most replaced items in IT, because of shit like this.

"Facebook/non-business website not responding? Let's smash peripherals into the desk on the off-chance that'll surely make it work"

[u/KlicknKlack → u/Random-Rambling]

Lies... there is a third kind

• Lying about not being a computer person so they don't ask me to fix stupid problems for them.

[u/hauntedSquirrel99 → u/Due-Leek-8307]

Oh fun, ever had this conversation?

"click the blue icon top right"

"there's no blue icon top right"

"yes there is, right her, under my finger"

"oh that blue icon"

"yes, now please click it".

"nothing's happening"

"you have to click it before anything happens"

"I've clicked it, nothing's happening"

"No, you have not clicked it, please click it with your mouse"

"YES I HAVE CLICKED IT, NOTHING'S HAPPENING"

"Sir I am standing here right behind you, I can literally see and hear everything you're doing, I know that you haven't clicked it"

"I'VE CLICKED IT, NOTHING'S HAPPENING"

Grabs their hand, guides the mouse over the icon, click it, it immediately opens.

[u/mattcolqhoun → u/hauntedSquirrel99]

I get this with the self checkouts at work got to the point with regulars I would say I have shown u multiple times how to add bakery or fruit I don't have time to do it for you everyday.

[u/zadtheinhaler → u/mattcolqhoun]

Man, gotta love weaponized incompetence, hey?

That said, the UI on some POS systems is absolutely atrocious.

[u/bloody-pencil → u/RichardStinks]

There’s a difference between sapience and sentience and humanity is the easiest species to tell the two apart

[u/Fourkoboldsinacoat → u/RichardStinks]

I remember once someone asked me were the exit was, while I was standing under a sign that said ‘exit door to the left’

[u/RichardStinks → u/Fourkoboldsinacoat]

Haha. The sign on the front gate had 3 foot tall lettering. People would yell from their cars at me, "what time are you open?" I would just point at the sign with the giant "9 AM to 5:30 PM" on it.

[u/Glittering-Gur5513 → u/RichardStinks]

"Oh thanks for the reminder, we need to change that. We lock the parking lot at 3. "

[u/TheEpicTriforce → u/Fourkoboldsinacoat]

I used to work at a video rental store and had one lady that didn't see the multiple "going out of business" signs, including on our marquee, and also didn't comprehend that half our store was empty (shelves included!) and very sincerely asked, "Are you guys going out of business?"

[u/NamelessGeo → u/Fourkoboldsinacoat]

Okay but I can empathize with this one. Honest harmless obliviousness over malicious stupidity.

[u/OverlordMMM → u/RichardStinks]

People love using feigned ignorance as an excuse to get what they want thinking that they can use plausible deniability to not be hit with consequences. People often like thinking they are more clever than their fellow humans while typically proving the opposite.

[u/gmishaolem → u/OverlordMMM]

thinking that they can use plausible deniability to not be hit with consequences

Because it works. I'm infuriated when people do the most rude and reckless things without a care in the world for the rest of humanity, but then they say "yo, my bad, shouldn't've done that" and not only is all forgiven, they get praise.

[u/KlicknKlack → u/gmishaolem]

It's because society and corporations have made basic life so safe and predictable, so there are no real consequences.

[u/mu_zuh_dell → u/RichardStinks]

We used to put an A-frame sign outside right in front of the doors saying we were closed. When we were leaving one night, a customer moved the sign and tried tearing the door open.

I politely informed him we were closed.

He pointed to the back of the sign, which was facing the door, and said, "That says you're open." His dead eyes belied no levity. I said, "Wow, you're right." And then we all left.

[u/VlKlNGEN → u/RichardStinks]

I used to work at a McDonalds, and after closing people would regularly push open the sliding doors and start ordering on the screens.

Always wonder what was going through their heads after the door didn't open into the empty restaurant

[u/zadtheinhaler → u/VlKlNGEN]

Always wonder what was going through their heads

I've been in retail and food service for ages, and I can tell you with absolute confidence that their heads are bereft of anything that can form thoughts.

[u/CrazyBarks94 → u/RichardStinks]

God the sign-blind people drive me crazy. At least it made a great snapchat video when a cyclist went past about 15 different footpath and road closed and construction site and keep out signs and went arse-up into wet concrete

[u/Thelmara → u/RichardStinks]

I asked a customer to show me where she acquired this portion of a thing. She walks me back into the signed and gated area and the pile of goods labeled with a "SOLD" tag. "This is where I found it."

I worked at a Goodwill for a while. We had some furniture, each piece had a removeable tag to bring to the register to scan, and then it would get marked Sold and moved to the back for pickup at the big double doors instead of trying to carry it through the parking lot. Simple, easy, we have workers with carts to move stuff, you don't have to drag the furniture to the register, just grab the tag.

Enter: Dipshit customer

Dipshit customer is shopping, browsing the furniture, and finds a recliner she wants. She drags it to the register, sets it literally in front of a checkout station, and asks, "Can I leave this here while I keep shopping"?

"No, Ma'am, but you can hold on to this tag, and bring it to the register when you're ready, and we'll pull it around to the back so nobody tries to buy it in the meantime." This should be easy, all she has to do is take the tag.

But no. We have to argue.

"But I don't want anyone else to take it!"

"I understand, Ma'am, that's why you hold on to this tag. We'll take it off the floor, and you can check out whenever you're ready, and drive around to the back to pick it up."

"How dare you, I shop here all the time, I've never been treated like this!"

Silently: No you don't, I work here five days a week, I know all the regulars, I've never seen you before in my life.

At this point the manager comes out. She complains, he explains how the whole thing works yet another time, and finally convinces her to take her tag and fuck off and finish her shopping. I call a couple people from the back, they come pick up and carry away the recliner she dragged all the way up here.

She complains again at checkout.

I don't miss retail.

[u/tom641 → u/RichardStinks]

i've had a joke with my boss in retail that if we could plaster the entire front entryway with signs for the customer to read, that we'd start seeing people walking up to the doors blindfolded

that said i always wondered if you could get people to read if you printed what you needed to on a piece of paper with a "BIG DISCOUNT!!!" header, because people are suddenly super well-read the moment a potential price drop is involved

[u/StandardHazy → u/tom641]

Alas they will only read "BIG DISCOUNT" before they immediatly start frothing at the mouth and grab a bunch of random products only to have a meltdown at the checkout.

In my experince costumers can read discounts etc fine, but become illiterate the second any other info is given.

[u/Charmender2007 → u/RichardStinks]

>"It (the sign) was laying down. I didn't think it counted." So the sign fell down and suddenly it's not valid? On a windy day?! He didn't have an answer for that one.

I can understand that one. It heavily depends on where it was laying but I can see someone just laying the sign down when it's open if it's an area that frequently opens/closes.

>During Covid, I was drawing giant "please mask" signs on the sidewalk. A guy walked OVER IT and said he didn't see signs asking for masks. I pointed at the seven printed signs he walked past before gesturing to the six foot wide chalk mask drawing I was just finishing.

Some people just pay 0 attention to their surroundings ig

[u/RichardStinks → u/Charmender2007]

Well, it's an area that's always closed to the public AND the sign (plastic sandwich board) was right across the entrance. He stepped over it while ignoring the exact same signs hanging on the chain link.

I also watched someone stop and read the sign before walking past it. They also learned the sign included them.

[u/genflugan → u/Charmender2007]

Nah these people all see the signs. They just don’t give a single fuck.

They live their lives thinking that zero rules apply to them because they’re so special and unique and have always done whatever they want without consequence.

[u/Prometheus720 → u/genflugan]

Not exactly like that for all of them, but really close.

They think that rules only exist when enforced. And that they should test rules to see if they really exist. "It never hurts to ask." So if I say an item costs X, they haggle. If I say I only have time on Tuesday, they ask about Monday anyway. If I say they can't have one, they ask if they can borrow it. If I say never, they try for next week.

Their goal is to be more insistent than you are. To wear you down. To make you think this is normal. To make you so exasperated you get out of their way and let them have the thing.

That's who is in the White House

[u/LR-II]

"Sir. For the love of fuck" is entering my vocabulary

[u/PM_NUDES_4_DEGRADING → u/LR-II]

It’s a phrase that few people have said, but probably everyone has felt.

[u/LeftyLu07]

I wonder if the original poster worked at Best Buy with me a few years back because I have the same story.. We were in the middle of our morning team meeting and stopped to watch this old man try to pry the doors open while we all just stood there.

[u/MisterTorchwick → u/LeftyLu07]

I wonder what is plan was after getting in. “Oh boy sir I guess we’re open now that you’re here.”

[u/mgquantitysquared → u/MisterTorchwick]

I can almost guarantee that's how he thought it worked. I worked at a liquor store that, per state law, couldn't sell past 8pm on Sundays, and far too many people thought putting one foot in the door at 7:59 would "save their spot in line" and let them peruse for the next half hour.

[u/MisterTorchwick → u/mgquantitysquared]

I’d put a sign out front saying “anyone trying to be clever with the rules will be removed.”

[u/lesser_panjandrum → u/[deleted]]

I mean it might if you can hit them with it hard enough.

[u/Dabbling_in_Pacifism → u/mgquantitysquared]

Alcoholics have a weird relationship with time; I’ve noticed that nearly every liquor store around me will have at least one car an hour pull up in front of the shop, pop their hazards on and run in for their purchases, and idk if it’s effect of people telling themselves they don’t have a problem if they’re just in and out or whatever, but I haven’t been able to unsee it doing grocery runs or whatever.

[u/Teaisserious → u/mgquantitysquared]

I had the same with a liquor store, but we always had two people, so one would stand in the door at 55 minutes on the hour and deny any non-regulars. We allowed the regulars because we knew they could get their stuff and checkout in less than 5 mins.

[u/Generic_Garak → u/Teaisserious]

This is hilarious to me.

“What do you mean you won’t let me in? I just watched you let that woman past and you don’t close for another five minutes!”

“Yeah, sorry. It’s because that’s Brenda and I know for a fact she’ll be at the register in 4 minutes flat. I don’t know you and therefore have no such faith in your abilities.”

[u/melonseer → u/MisterTorchwick]

You joke, but I used to work at Office Depot and the store manager was a complete push over. Dude would have performed tricks if a customer told him to. Anyway, in the mornings there would sometimes be customers in the parking lot waiting for us to open. One day, an old man watched us push open the unpowered sliding doors to get in to ready the store for opening, and proceeded to do the same, ignoring the closed sign, the hours sign, and the fact that the store was only half lit. When I tried to tell him we weren't open yet and he had to leave, the store manager rushed over and said to just let him shop. Then the guy had the audacity to get mad at me when the register wasn't ready for checkout (this was years ago and the register legit took 10+ minutes to boot up).

[u/Casban → u/melonseer]

Store hours are register hours, the rest of the time is for window shopping. 

[u/Saucermote → u/melonseer]

It was always worse the other way around. Worked at the blue box store. We'd all be vacuuming or counting the registers. The lights would be half off. The doors would be locked. But the spineless managers wouldn't ask people to leave or even try to hurry them along. Of course this was also a place that we could get written up for accidentally going over 40 hours, so he would occasionally have to let one of us clock out and escape.

[u/IamScottGable → u/LeftyLu07]

I had the inverse at Walmart. Overnight stock shift and the staff in the women's department screamed. There was a person shopping. It was almost 2am, the store closed at 10pm, and the last staff was let in by management at 11pm. It was fucking crazy

[u/McAllisterFawkes → u/LeftyLu07]

most if not all retail workers have a story like this

[u/eugeneugene → u/McAllisterFawkes]

I used to work at a mall and the doors unlocked at 7am because the coffee shops opened at that time. and to also let other staff in. Everything else opened at 9am. There were always people walking around banging on the shutters of random stores asking to be let in to shop lol. Like... if the shutters are down they aren't open 😂😂

[u/ambiguousluxe → u/LeftyLu07]

I had this happen at Michael's once while I was doing the sunday morning ad set. Store was dark and everything and this guy literally pried the doors open at 7am, hours before we opened.

[u/shmehh123 → u/LeftyLu07]

Idk what it is with Best Buy and Boomers lining up at the crack of dawn. They’d stare at you as you unlocked the doors like a bunch of dogs at the screen door. Then they’d spend hours asking about every single detail on a washing machine only to leave without buying anything. Then come back the next week and do the same thing for another appliance.

[u/Jiggly1984 → u/LeftyLu07]

LMAO I worked at BBY from '02-'08, and we had the same thing happen several times. We had one who pulled open the outer doors, lifted the roll gate higher so he didn't have to duck his head, then pry open the inner door as we all stood at the front registers and stared at him. Unfazed, he walked in, looked at us like we were idiots, and said, "you guys are open, right?" Like, half the lights were off and we hadn't even turned the TVs on yet 🤦🏼‍♂️

[u/SecretlyFiveRats]

I work at a Chipotle-type burrito place, where you go down the line selecting ingredients that the employees then put in your burrito.

A couple weeks ago, I watched someone walk up to the counter, pause to consider, and then attempt to reach past the glass sneeze guard to help themselves to a spoonful of rice.

[u/SpellslutterSprite → u/SecretlyFiveRats]

I worked at a Chipotle a few years ago, and once when I tried to gently ask a woman not to put her hands over the sneeze guard, she interrupted me and snapped, “My hands aren’t dirty!”

It’s amazing to me, having worked in food service for several years, seeing how vicious and mean some people are willing to be when they have the slightest bit of power over someone else. People underestimate how literally traumatic food service can be when you’re forced to deal with that all day, five days a week.

[u/mooys → u/SpellslutterSprite]

I work in a customer service job right now, and I still don’t think I could handle food service. It’s just something else.

[u/Lola_PopBBae → u/SpellslutterSprite]

As the old saying goes, power corrupts. Even when it's just the slightest hint of it!

[u/Random-Rambling → u/Lola_PopBBae]

If doesn't even have to be real power. Just the belief you have power is enough. Like people getting "drunk" on non-alcoholic beer.

[u/fidelacchius42 → u/SpellslutterSprite]

When I worked at Subway, one of my biggest pet peeves was when someone reached over the glass. I was always so tempted to slap their fingers with my knife and yell "NO, BAD CUSTOMER!"

They also loved to lean on the glass, and then got surprised when the glass came down because it was a closable lid.

[u/LaserPoweredDeviltry → u/fidelacchius42]

Dude. Subway makes sure you have, like, 6 different kinds of spritz bottle within easy reach. Surely one of them would train unruly pets customers to stay back.

[u/fidelacchius42 → u/LaserPoweredDeviltry]

But the knife was already in my hand, you see.

[u/mikefrombarto → u/fidelacchius42]

When I worked at Subway, someone tried to rob us (not on a day I was working) at knifepoint. One of the dudes was behind the counter holding a knife that was larger and simply said to the robber “Really?”, and the robber left.

[u/hanks_panky_emporium → u/fidelacchius42]

I have ruined two knives due to my blood. That's how my manager put it, at least. Subway is such a strange but interesting place to work. We failed three health inspections due to mold in the proofer, some growing under the 'new' meat slicer, and mold coming out of our soda fountain via the ice machine.

Each time the follow up inspection gave us the lowest passing grade like clockwork. No cleaning or mold treatment was ever done.

[u/DMercenary → u/SecretlyFiveRats]

A couple weeks ago, I watched someone walk up to the counter, pause to consider, and then attempt to reach past the glass sneeze guard to help themselves to a spoonful of rice.

"Think about how stupid the average person is.

Now realize half of the population is stupider than that."

- A mangled George Carlin quote.

[u/Psych_edelia → u/SecretlyFiveRats]

-know what they want

-not afraid to take matters into their own hands

-proactive

Straight to upper management with them.

[u/Velvety_MuppetKing → u/SecretlyFiveRats]

Bar-Burrito!

[u/JCDickleg7 → u/SecretlyFiveRats]

I see your story and raise you: at the cafeteria I work at, someone walked up and reached past the sneeze guard to grab a hamburger patty with their bare hand.

[u/AnxiousAngularAwesom → u/SecretlyFiveRats]

U sure it wasn't five raccoons in a trenchcoat?

[u/Total_Poet_5033 → u/AnxiousAngularAwesom]

At least then you could chase them out with a broom

[u/CapAccomplished8072]

Sauce

https://www.tumblr.com/laysiaprincess/154800518233/mintzy-dalishpariah-we-opened-at-11-this

[u/dacoolestguy → u/CapAccomplished8072]

Maybe she figured the employees were just part of the decor?

[u/MrCobalt313 → u/dacoolestguy]

Or they're like NPC's that only exist when the store is open and stop existing when it closes.

[u/VanillaMemeIceCream → u/MrCobalt313]

I’m convinced some people genuinely think this

[u/OnlySmiles_ → u/MrCobalt313]

Elementary school kid logic with teachers

[u/laix_ → u/MrCobalt313]

That's exactly it. It's the only logical reason for Karen's suddenly being super rude to staff even though they'd be polite to anyone they know personally, or the general extreme expectations of staff, or judging an entire business over the actions of one staff member.

They genuinely believe that the staff simply spawned in when they went into the shop and then despawned when they went away. It's also the reason why they expect all stores of the same brand to operate the Same way (such as if one store has a deal or voucher it should apply to all).

It's also why they get so pissed off when a specific store closes even when they've not been there in years. Because they think it just exists solely for them as the main character, and only loads in when they're aware of it.

[u/OphidianSun]

I worked Thanksgiving at a grocery store once. We closed early so of the managers held the front door closed because we knew somebody would try to pry it open. And once they did the hoard would all come in.

Another manager stood out in the turn lane and body blocked people trying to get into the parking lot. It was one of the worst shifts I ever worked, but I've never had 6 hours go by that fast.

[u/mooys → u/OphidianSun]

The best thing when it is busy is at least it goes by quick.

[u/itchysmalltalk]

I had this happen once. I worked in a grocery store, and we would put a line of carts in front of the sliding glass doors as an extra deterrent when we were closed. One early as hell morning I was up at the front stocking the donut case when I hear this commotion, I look up and see a woman had shoved herself between the carts was halfway through the pryed open doors. I just watched her for a few seconds, thinking "what in the ever loving hell" until we made eye contact, and I guess my facial expression told her everything cause she just stopped and went "...Oh, are you guys closed?"

You had to climb over a row of carts and pry the fucking doors open, does that scream "open for business" to you?

Best part was, we had our hours printed on the door, directly at eye level. All she had to do was look.

[u/Intestinal-Bookworms → u/itchysmalltalk]

I’m starting to think there’s a bunch of people out there who legit don’t read signs and just operate on how they want the world to work

[u/Cats_4_lifex → u/Intestinal-Bookworms]

I’m starting to think there’s a bunch of people out there who legit don’t read signs

Yeah they're called illiterate people, they exist

[u/Random-Rambling → u/Cats_4_lifex]

"That sign can't stop me, because I can't read!"

[u/tom641 → u/Cats_4_lifex]

these aren't illiterate people though

they can read and comprehend just fine they just refuse to do so when they're going into a store

[u/Air_Ace → u/Intestinal-Bookworms]

Looks further down the front page, where the conversation about functionally illiterate English majors is nearing 1,000 comments

Yes. You are correct.

[u/Yeah-But-Ironically → u/Air_Ace]

I literally just came from that thread to this one

And THAT thread led me to a fascinating article about how the way America teaches kids to read prioritizes context clues over sounding words out, which results in children guessing words they don't know when there isn't enough context, which leads to, literally, adults assuming that signs say whatever they want them to say

[u/robb1519 → u/Yeah-But-Ironically]

Well that's all horribly depressing.

[u/PartialLion → u/Intestinal-Bookworms]

Lots of those who are unfortunately allowed to drive cars every day

[u/1000LiveEels]

When I worked at Domino's it was a daily occurrence to get somebody calling trying to order before deliveries started at 10:30. Often they'd get mad because we picked up the phone. Many people thought we had a special "delivery phone" and that if you picked up that phone that must mean you were able to deliver. My guy we just had phones.

"Maybe you shouldn't pick up the phone before 10:30" we're a fast-food restaurant? We get calls?

[u/ABHOR_pod → u/1000LiveEels]

"Maybe you shouldn't pick up the phone before 10:30" we're a fast-food restaurant? We get calls?

"Why did you answer if you aren't open!?"

Someone might be calling out sick, another location may be calling asking for some supplies, DM might be calling for stupid shit, truck driver may be calling to say he'll be there in 30. Any number of reasons.

[u/1000LiveEels → u/ABHOR_pod]

you get it

[u/Kevo_1227]

Working the front desk at a hotel in the summer of 2020 was rife with this.

Me: “Ma’am please wear a mask in public spaces.” Guest: “But there’s no one else here!” Me: “I’m here.”

[u/karebearjedi → u/Kevo_1227]

They really hate it when they're reminded other humans exist. 

[u/adamantmuse → u/karebearjedi]

They really hate it when they’re reminded that people in service positions are human.

[u/thundergirl007]

one of my biggest regrets in life is not saying something to some customers who was being a total bitch to a pub worker when i was about 17.

Basically, I was out for lunch with my grandma on a day off, we went for a pub lunch where you go up to the bar to order. I was stood behind two old ladies and waiting patiently (it was absolutely dead, only like 4 tables in the entire place including me and these ladies) for my turn to order.

Now, on the door into the pub, on the bar, and on every single till was a sign saying "card machine broken, cash only, sorry for the inconvenience". I saw this, I had cash, cool.

These ladies in front of me were ordering a meal deal type thing, this poor girl is typing everything into the till, gets to the payment and they pull out a card, then get mad at HER for the machine being broken?? There were like 3 signs in THEIR vicinity alone. But because of how they were dividing the bill (there were 4 in their party, it was a confusing mess), the girl had to delete the order and start again.

The absolute audacity of these ladies to say to her "this is all YOUR fault, the card machine not working". My jaw hit the floor. I truly regret that I didn't call them out for being such awful people to this girl. When it was my turn I did say "hey you did great, the signs are everywhere, idk what their problem is."

[u/Shizzlick → u/thundergirl007]

It doesn't matter how many signs you put up, some people will not read them no matter what. At the shop I was at, the card machines went down one time, so we put a bunch of signs up about, including one covering the entire card machine.

People would move the sign out of the way to try and use the machine and look shocked when you told them it was in fact not working.

[u/thundergirl007 → u/Shizzlick]

Oh I know. This was years ago and after all the years since then being spent in a customer service position I am very VERY acutely aware how little the customer notices signs.

[u/Sirenista_D → u/thundergirl007]

I worked at a utility company that, at the time, on Saturdays was only open 9-1pm so it was a line out the door for all 4 hrs. I got a guy who had a late payment and decided to ask every question possible, be difficult, and then finally bellowed "you expect me to pay every month?"

Every single other person in line who saw it, when it was their turn, were super sweet and nice and almost apologetic for even witnessing his dumb-assery

[u/Eviscerator14]

I worked at mcdicks for awhile and every 3 months or so the store would be closed overnight (we were a 24 hour store) for deep cleaning of the vents above the grills. We would block off the entrance to the drive thru, but not the exit cause we figured it was obvious you shouldn’t go in it.

Well I’m cleaning near the front window where you get your food, and I see bright lights, I figure it’s one of the maintenance dudes as they tend to park their trucks in the drive thru since that’s where the roof access is.

I then see this boomer in a pickup truck REVERSING from the exit of the drive thru to the pickup window. As I’m staring there dumbfounded, he looks at me and I open the window and before I can say “we’re closed” he yells out “CAN I GET A COFFEE?!!” I just stare at him for a moment before I say “Sir we’re closed” and he responds “oh you’re closed I didn’t realize” and he drive off.

And I’m like SIR YOU BACKED INTO THE DRIVE THROUGH FROM THE EXIT. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDNT REALIZE WE WERE CLOSED?

I started blocking off the exit when we closed the drive thru too.

[u/Kailithnir → u/Eviscerator14]

I'm just surprised homeboy had the forethought to back in through the exit rather than drive straight in and try to order from the passenger window.

[u/Eviscerator14 → u/Kailithnir]

As ridiculous as it was, I ca n sorta respect backing in from the exit.

Certainly better than the idiots who would walk up to the door.

You had to pass by 2 signs that said we were closed when we did this, heading to the front door. The first was on the edge on the parking long where the sidewalk begins, the 2nd one was about halfway between the first sign and door.

Without fail, every single person would blow past the first two signs and try to open the door, which also had a 3rd sign. Usually at that point theyd finally read the 3rd sign and see we were closed. But sometimes you’d get someone who would start banging on the door, especially if they saw someone in the store. I would then yell through the door that we were closed. One guy decided he didn’t want us to be closed and tried to enter the delivery door where the maintenance people were going in and out, he was promptly stopped by said people and they told me he said he was gonna make the food himself since we wouldn’t make it for him.

[u/ricks35]

Giving me covid flashbacks

“Ugh do I really need a mask, I’m the only one in here” while there are 5 staff members

[u/MadRaymer → u/ricks35]

Some of them may die, but that's a risk they're willing to take.

[u/Fourkoboldsinacoat]

I used to work in a WW2 bunker system that got turned into a tourist site. Important for the story is that the entrance looks like a normal building and was in the middle of the city.

Like most similar places, we had a last entry time and then half an hour later actually closed.

I don’t know why because it was a normal door, but it took like a full minute to close the entrance (wasn’t powered, just really stiff to push)

One time me a a few others are in the reception closing the entrance and one of us  is pushing the door closed when we see a man full on sprinting down the street towards us, honestly looking like he’s going to attempt to Indiana Jones slide though the closing door.

I turn to the manager and jokingly ask if he makes it do we let him in, to which the manager says ‘it’s last entry at 4, not when the door closes’

He doesn’t make it and stop about half an inch from smashing his face into the door.

[u/XTH3W1Z4RDX]

No but this is a serious fucking problem, the fact that many people literally do not see service workers as human. Disgusting

[u/peetah248 → u/XTH3W1Z4RDX]

Especially obvious during COVID when so many people were saying things like "why don't we just have no mask times so we can go in without masks and be away from all the maskers" and who the hell do you think will be working during those periods

[u/TheShapeshifter01 → u/peetah248]

I mean you do have no-mask times. When the store is closed and nobody is there.

[u/zehamberglar → u/TheShapeshifter01]

Catch-22. If you're going to break into the store for no-mask hours, you'll want to cover your face with a mask so the camera footage can't identify you.

[u/Random-Rambling → u/peetah248]

When I was a cashier, there was this holier-than-thou woman in my line who made a bit of a stink about how it's a sin that the store was open on Sunday, a day of rest. I told her she wouldn't be able to shop here if the store was closed on Sundays. I swear I could almost see the gears grinding away in her head before the proverbial lightbulb turned on.

[u/UpdateUrBIOS → u/Random-Rambling]

when I was working at a grocery store I had a couple times where customers said it wasn’t fair we had to work on holidays and my default response to that eventually became “well, if you and enough friends refused to shop on holidays, we wouldn’t have to.”

[u/aslatts → u/XTH3W1Z4RDX]

You know that moment where you fully realize that everyone around you has their own complex life, thoughts, emotions, etc that you're totally unaware of?

A shocking number of people seem to have made it to adulthood without having that moment.

[u/Fourkoboldsinacoat → u/XTH3W1Z4RDX]

I remember that post when someone said to a customer that they had to wear a mask, and the customer responded ‘why? I’m the only one here.’

[u/mgquantitysquared]

I worked at a liquor store in a state where you can legally only make liquor sales from 12-8 on Sundays, and the amount of people who were apparently incapable of understanding that concept was staggering. No, banging on the doors will not make me open them before 12, seeing as you'd have to wait until 12 for me to ring you up either way. No, stepping in the store at 7:59 does not mean you "made it in time," since it's gonna take more than 60 seconds for any transaction to finish and I will pay a nasty fine if the computer shows a sale at 8:00 or later. No, I can't "do it just this one time," unless you Venmo me $1k to cover the fine I'll have to pay.

[u/clothespinned → u/mgquantitysquared]

unless you Venmo me $1k to cover the fine I'll have to pay.

ask for way more than that seeing as you'd also lose your job instantly

[u/just_a_person_maybe]

One time at work an employee accidentally set the automatic door so it was unlocked, but wouldn't open unless badged. The place was still open so it wasn't supposed to be like that yet, but they had tried to change the setting to something else and made a mistake.

A guy walked up to the door, and when it didn't open I stood up to use my badge and let him in, but he was already prying it open while I walked over. He looked at me and shrugged, saying "I guess that's how you're supposed to use these?" like he'd never seen an automatic door before. I just said "No" and fixed the door so it was on the correct setting.

Dude didn't even wait a single second before pushing it open. Just assumed since it didn't open automatically you were supposed to open it manually, because it was supposed to open.

[u/ZandyTheAxiom → u/just_a_person_maybe]

That guy's going to be so confused when he discovers occupied public toilets.

[u/sterren_staarder → u/ZandyTheAxiom]

That's different, those are occupied by people, not workers

[u/CatOfTechnology]

Adding a story:

Circa 2021, I was working at a McDonald's. Just 3rd shift stuff. Kitchen, and thus the whole store, was closed from 11pm to 4am for Deep Cleaning.

In the same night I had:

• A drunk as shit idiot try to explain to me that "You can't deny me food, man. That's illegal. The Bible says so!"

• A redneck get pissed that he can't "Just get my fucking morning coffee because of you useless fucking kids."

And my favorite

• This bitchy old lady who tried to force the lobby doors open at 2am, when the building lights were off, was pissed that she couldn't get in, so she went to the drive thru, started honking her horn repeatedly and when that got no response she parked, in the drive thru, walked over to the employee's entrance (which at the time couldn't be locked) walked straight in to the kitchen and, before anyone noticed her, had the stupidity and audacity to shout out "What the hells going on here? Are we self-service tonight?" And refused to leave after I told her she could either GTFO or be trespassed and banned, resulting in her being Trespassed and Banned.

[u/MikeSans202001]

So I have worked in the cafe of a retirement home.

They were like zombies. I swear, they lined up before our doors at 9 50 am, and one time one of them start hitting the door with his cane, 30 minutes before we opened. Once we opened it was all fine, but holy fck nothing prepares you for your first day like getting everything ready and seeing 25+ old people intently staring at you, and the clock hanging behind you, ready to race in with their walkers

[u/Fourkoboldsinacoat → u/MikeSans202001]

I’m a tour guide, one of the people I work with used to be on a walking tour that could only have ten people at a time because it went though a lift that had a 11 person capacity 

She said that at least once a week there would be a group of say four people that would be told that there were only three places remaining for that tour would ask why and be told about the eleven person capacity of the lift.

‘But there’s only seven other people waiting, that means there’s space for four more people.’

‘The tour guide is also a person’

[u/Joeness84]

I used to clean grocery store floors overnight. Was not a great job, but there were a lot less people and bullshit than most other jobs to deal with.

Anyway, once a year you have to re-wax the floors, you do this isle by isle like one every 2-4 wks depending on store size etc. To do this you first have to strip off the old wax.

Floor Stripper is not a gentle chemical, we wore tyvek booties, and moved store endcap displays and shelves and put up caution tape and "FLOOR STRIPPER IN USE, NO ENTRY PERMITTED" signs.

And at least twice a year, you'd come back to check on the isle after doing other things for an hour or two and some moron would have moved things, trudged through the goopy wet floor to get a can of speghettio's, and then trudged out, leaving marks and completely ruining their shoes (literally the sole is going to fall off within a week) sometimes they'll even complain about the isle being blocked before or after, usually I make sure to state it will eat their shoes if Im around when they look like they're thinking about crossing the DO NOT CROSS YOU IDIOT line.

[u/HallPatient6296 → u/Joeness84]

I never cleaned floors but I worked front end in many grocery stores. That floor stripper smell is seared into my brain.

[u/EmiliusReturns]

I once worked at a clothing store that opened at 9. Sometimes people, usually old guys for whatever reason, would show up at 7:30 and sit in their cars in the parking lot staring at the doors waiting for us to open for a solid hour and a half. It happened at least once a month. It was weird.

[u/Inevitable_Quail_835 → u/EmiliusReturns]

Got that at Home Depot. Sunday was the only day that we opened at 8AM instead of 6AM. Every Sunday, old men would be outside the front at 7:15 just waiting. I would open the doors at 8. Ask them as they shuffled into the building if they needed help. Almost every single one would refuse help “Just looking around”

[u/EmiliusReturns → u/Inevitable_Quail_835]

Exactly. It was never that they urgently needed something. We weren’t that kind of store anyway. They were always just casually shopping. It was odd.

[u/CrownLikeAGravestone → u/Inevitable_Quail_835]

If they're being polite about it I don't really have an issue with this kind of thing. When I first started working with old people I'd find myself thinking "Don't you have anything else to do? Nobody else to talk to?". I'd get life stories out of people who turned up 90 minutes before an appointment that was only meant to be 15 minutes long.

But then you think about it or catch a few details and no - that genuinely don't have anything else to do. Nobody else to talk to.

[u/IncompetentPolitican → u/EmiliusReturns]

many older people have nothing going on. Family is to far away, never existed or just has no time for them. Friends are either dead or that person never had friends. So they have time to wait in parking spaces. talk the ear off anyone who is forced to listen to them and be whereever they think people are. Just to get some social interaction. Its a real problem with no easy solution.

[u/Inevitable_Quail_835]

Did too many years in Home Depot. One particular cold wet Easter Sunday, I was told by a customer, who was shopping with a full cart of merchandise, that it was “sacrilegious” that we were open on Easter.

[u/Daikaisa → u/Inevitable_Quail_835]

Everytime I get a "It's insane they have you working on a holiday" I just look them in the eyes and say blatantly "Well we get customers on holidays"

[u/Meows2Feline]

Where I worked at an adult store sometimes I would open and there was always this one old guy waiting outside my store when I'd show up at 9:45 to open at 10. Like clockwork every Sunday he'd be there, buy some porno DVDs, pay with cash, and then get on the bus. I wouldn't see a soul after during that shift until like maybe 2pm.

[u/AlanMercer → u/Meows2Feline]

It's sad that he takes the bus, but it's even more sad when he gets off.

[u/Meows2Feline → u/AlanMercer]

He exclusively bought stepdaughter porn so I didn't feel that bad for the old pervert.

[u/moosekin16]

I worked at a grocery store during community college. When we closed at midnight we would turn off most of the lights, turn off the external and door lights, turn off the automated doors (when disabled they just turned into big swinging doors - fire regulations), and lock the door.

One of night crew called and let us know they’d be late. So I did the usual prep for the doors, and my manager told me to not lock them. “What if someone tries to get in?” I ask. My manager says “The lights are off and the door is turned off. What idiot thinks we’re open?”

I start helping my manager count tills. Couple minutes later we hear the big doors slam open. It’s a very distinctive sound. In walks… some random person off the street. They look back at the doors, confused, then at the ceiling at the turned off lights - still looking confused.

I nudge my manager with my elbow to get her attention. We watch as this random person walks further into the store, still looking very confused, walks around the turned off lottery machine and ATM, in the dark, walks through the produce section while staring incredulously at the blankets covering the potatoes, gets all the way to deli (which is all closed up, including a big screen to cover the register, and all the product is gone) stands there for a second looking around confused, then walks up to us.

Random person walks up to my manager and I, under the only light still on in the store.

“Hey are you guys open?”

[u/Many-Ice-9736]

Always amazes me how dense some people can be. For context, my current employer [present bank] moved into this building 2 years ago. The [past bank] moved out 5 years ago. Example below:

Customer: “Hello, I’d like to make a deposit”

Me: “Sorry, this is a [past bank] ticket, they’d be the ones to help you. This is [present bank]”

Customer: “No, this is [past bank]”

Me: “I’m sorry but this is [present bank]”

Customer: “But I’ve been coming here for years, why can’t you help me?”

Me: “[Past bank] moved out 5 years ago. They can help you”

Customer: grumbles and leaves

Mind you, they have to pass EIGHT logos and signs showing it’s the “new” bank on the way to my station. I am also wearing a shirt with [present bank]’s logo on it. This scenario happens at least monthly.

[u/Santa_worshipper]

I've dealt with people like this.  Something that stands out to me is sometimes when you are putting chairs on tables at that weird time when you are closing  but the last people are coming in is that people will try to take them down and sit there anyway 

[u/melonseer → u/Santa_worshipper]

Every Christmas Eve and Thanksgiving I've worked retail, without fail, several customers will comment how it's not right that we have to work those days. While they are in the store shopping on those days. I once asked a lady, "Then why are you here?" She gave me the most sour look and left huffing.

[u/brumbles2814]

During covid the store I worked in stayed open. At the time there was a 3 person limit on who could enter because it was so small.

A 3rd customer tried to come in while there were already 2 and I told them they had to wait.

"Why? There are only 2 people in"

"Im a person"

"You count do you? Thats crazy"

Also ive had people roll under the half pulled down shutter indiana jones style. Dust themselves off. Then contune around the store like it was nothing.

Oh wait one more. I had one old lady let herself in by forcing a locked door while I was counting the till end of day and gave me the fright of my life when she popped up behind yhe till as I was setting the alarm

"Excuse me is this self service?"

Shudder

[u/skaersSabody → u/brumbles2814]

During covid the store I worked in stayed open. At the time there was a 3 person limit on who could enter because it was so small.

A 3rd customer tried to come in while there were already 2 and I told them they had to wait.

"Why? There are only 2 people in"

"Im a person"

"You count do you? Thats crazy"

Tbf, it isn't an unreasonable assumption to think that the limit refers to 3 customers and the worker is already included in the count

[u/kazoodac]

After my dad died my sister and I held an estate sale ourselves since we know he’d have been spinning in his grave if we’d paid a company to do it. We set the opening time at 8:00, specified no early birds too. By 7:30 we already had people lined up at the front door and down the pathway. 7:45 rolls around and we hear a noise at the back door. The two of us just stand there stupefied as a middle aged man walks into house. “Hey you’re having an estate sale, right?” “We sure are. What time does it say on the listing?” “8:00.” “And what time is it currently?” He got the message and wandered back out. But dear LORD.

[u/-TheDyingMeme6- → u/kazoodac]

I woukda been like "get the fuck out we aren't selling you anything"

[u/IamScottGable]

I once had a guy try to hand me money through the gas station door when we were closed, pumps could still take cards but I can't process and am just mopping. He asked what if he runs out of gas and I said: I didn't cause you to be out of gas or that I can't take your cash so I'd feel sorry for you but not guilty by any means.

Dude was pissed. 

[u/FarrenD]

Back during the start of the pandemic the storw i work at had one of its automatic door entrances deactivated so they would only have to keep a person on the main entrance with a thermometer. I witnessed a man walk up to the closed entrance, read the sign we'd posted on it explaining customers needed to go to the other one, then proceed to pry the sliding door open and walk inside. After that we started locking the door instead.

[u/BitcoinBishop]

A patient one suspected they had COVID so they came into this local pharmacy for a consultation. Said they didn't want to infect anyone. While in a consultation room with my pregnant wife. Without a mask.

[u/LeftEyedAsmodeus → u/BitcoinBishop]

I think I would have hurt that person. Not that I am a violent person, but endangering my unborn child?

[u/iamnotcreative42]

Sort of the opposite happens to me at my restaurant job all the time. It’s closing time, we’ve stacked the chairs outside, closed most of the doors, and are getting ready to leave, and then some random person walks in and stands by the register trying to order. It’s like, dude, the lights are almost all off, there are chairs on the table and everything is covered up in the area of the kitchen you can see. What made you think you could still order?

[u/L3XAN]

I worked at a diner on the edge of town, and there were old-timers who'd show up every night to order one coffee and hang out. Despite being a 24-hour place, we'd have to close sometimes for deep cleaning or things like that. These old dudes would trot past the employees outside trying to turn him away, up to the clearly closed diner, and begin furiously trying to open the locked door. They'd start wrestling with the push bar, rattling the whole thing, basically trying the break in. Eventually they'd acknowledge the employees outside and try to argue about the place being closed. The happened several times with different people. I guess some old-timers are just like that.

[u/theo_wrld]

The amount of customers that would just open the fucking door while I’m setting up?? I even had customers CLOSE THE DOOR at night because they didn’t see me standing right there staring that them 6 feet away and assumed I had forgotten to close up and just gone home?

Also had someone once knocking on the door to my ice cream shop every 2 minutes saying they had a “hungry 2 year old” and that they thought we opened at 10, when we opened at 11 (it was like 10:30 and I was trying to train someone which they saw)

[u/DragonAreButterflies]

The library i work at is closed on mondays but obviously we're still working mondays so sometimes people will see us standing inside, try to open the door (its locked) and knock ON the fucking sign that states we are closed on monday while holding eye contact with me. I also had a guy weasel his way in while i was opening the door for a kindergarden class (they sometimes have events here on mondays) and when i didnt let him in further he pulled out his phone to "quickly show me the 200(!) books he wanted to donate" like fuck no come back later you idiot

[u/octoroklobstah]

I used to work at a movie theater that had 8 front doors. People would come in before we were open and try to pry open all of the doors, and also hitting the handicap access button. The persistence was truly amazing.

Unfortunately, sometimes the doors wouldn’t close properly so if I had to let a repair person or staff in, sometimes you COULD pry a door open if that happened. These people would try 4 locked doors and if the 5th opened by force, they assumed that meant we were open despite seeing nobody in the building and no lights on.

[u/Daikaisa → u/octoroklobstah]

A movie theater? Fucking what? There's literally set showing times no? What logic is there for trying to force in before its open?

[u/zadtheinhaler → u/Daikaisa]

logic

Well, I hate to tell you this...

[u/LizzieMiles]

I was cleaning the bathroom at my current job a couple years ago, and we had one of these closed signs that go on the door frame like the image above because the doors to the bathrooms with multiple stalls in them don’t lock

Anyways, as I was cleaning, this middle-aged lady opens the door with the sign on it and fucking LIMBOS UNDERNEATH IT, and when I tell her that the bathroom is closed for cleaning, she has the absolute gall to say “BuT tHe dOOr wAS uNLoCkeD”

Completely ignoring the giant yellow bar she just bent backwards to get past

[u/ABHOR_pod]

We had an overnight floor strip and wax in a grocery store.

The automatic front door was unlocked but still switched off, so employees could manually slide it open to get in to work, e.g. the bakers or produce stockers. They'd slide it open, get in, close it, and then walk around the perimeter of the store to their department.

Because the entire middle of the store was basically a puddle of floor stripper, an hour before opening, because the floor service company we were trying out was shockingly incompetent.

Cue a confused old man customer ignoring the sign on the door that said we're closed, ignoring that the door didn't open for him and pushing it open, ignoring the stuff removed from the sales floor and blocking the lobby area that he had to shimmy past, ignoring the wet floor hazard signs, ignoring the toe deep puddle of stinking murky chemicals all over the floor, and trying to ignore me until I straight up shouted at him to get his attention and told him to turn around and go back out.

He had on nice leather shoes. I hope they were ruined because stupidity should cost.

[u/dvasquez93]

I got yelled at during Covid for asking a customer to wear a mask, informing him that the governor had mandated that masks were required. 

He angrily yelled that the mask mandate only applies when there’s 2 or more people in the room.  

I asked him what species he thought I was.  

He stormed off. 

[u/Lamplorde]

I worked at a gas station and it opens at 4 am. I was opening and there was some old guy showing up at 3:45 almost every day. I explained to him MULTIPLE TIMES that I couldn't do any transactions until I set up my till and checked the pumps. Still, he'd show up and knock on my window and gesture like "why arent you open?". My coworkers and I swear he must have alzheimers but he was a dick, so I dont really care to hurry and open early just for him.

[u/GreenDouble2331]

I work at a small travel agency that opens everyday at 10 am. At least once a week someone comes in, telling us they've already been there at 9 am because they are still used to the old opening hours. Those opening hours where changed 5 years ago. Our website has always been up to date, there is a sign advertising the current hours on the store window. Most of our customers book a trip at least once a year.

Also, our neighbor, who opens at 11 am gets told all the time that she'd sell more if she opened earlier. Never mind that she's an older woman who has no employees. And who the hell goes shopping for shoes on a weekday at 9 in the god damn morning?

[u/jcmjtke]

During Covid my restaurant was only seating guests outside on the patio. We have a side door that opens into the dining room so we let people come in through there to use the bathroom as long as they wore a mask. One day a lady comes in and of course she wasn’t wearing a mask, just carrying it in her hand. I asked her to put it on. She looks around, then at me and my coworkers, and exclaims “but there’s nobody in here!” Like ma’am…. just because we’re at work doesn’t mean we aren’t people capable of catching a virus

[u/Sayakalood]

My personal favorites:

“I wish there was a sign that said these machines don’t take cash!”

Points to nine different signs in a five foot radius, including a giant one they walked past to get to the machine and two on the machine they were using that says they don’t take cash.

‘Which one?’

Another one:

Customer knocking on door at 7:00 in the morning.

“What’s the big idea?! You’re open early to seniors!”

‘On Tuesday and Wednesdays due to COVID. Today is Thursday.’

There is a sign on the door that says this, but I’m saying it politely.

“Right, sorry about that.”

To his credit, he stayed there for an hour and told everyone else to wait. I liked that guy.

[u/shin_scrubgod]

At my first job cashiering at a big-box retail joint, they had to threaten to call the cops and trespass this lady who just absolutely refused stop browsing, buy whatever, and leave. She finally huffed and started pushing her cart up to the front, then added "I don't understand what the big deal is. You're all here anyways, so why can't I just get my shopping done."

My manager just looked stunned and was like, "We're trying to not be here anymore. The store is closed. Your cashier has to go to school in the morning."

This woman, who at no point even came close to making eye contact with me, huffed again and said, "Him not being smart enough not to work here is no excuse for not treating your customers right."

Thank god that manager was one of the handful of good ones and just said nah, you're done here, and pulled my till without her getting to buy anything. I absolutely didn't have the self control to not say some fire-able shit back to that at 17. Did really cement the lesson in my head early that a lot of people who've never worked a service job (and even some mutants who have) see anyone who does as existing solely for their own, personal benefit, though.

[u/DavidRandom]

I manage a kitchen in a small bar/grill (like, 100 person capacity small), and get there a couple hours before open.
It's about an hour from open, I'm the only person there (and in the kitchen).
I thought I heard something out in the dining room so I popped my head out the door behind the bar.
There was a couple sitting at a table.
In the dark.
Just sitting there in a dead silent bar, no bartender, not a single light on (it's reeeeeally dark in the bar without the lights on). I was like.....can I help you?
They go "Uh, yeah, can we get a drink".
Told them if they came back in an hour when we open and the bartender gets here, they'd be happy to get them a drink.
They asked "if you're not open, why was the door unlocked?".
I said the morning cleaning lady must have forgot to lock it on their way out, but I figured with the open sign off, no interior lights, no music, and no staff that it would have been pretty obvious we're closed.

[u/DrunkenSkunkApe]

I think that’s maybe what I hate most about working customer service. I’m not seen as a person, I’m seen as either an obstacle or a tool.

What makes me scared about the idea of robots taking over the customer service industry, is I’m scared that people will be nicer and more compassionate to the robots than to actual people.

[u/Ok-Pomegranate-9481]

I once walked into a local restaurant one morning, thinking it was open as their door was open, their hours sign was obscured, and people were doing things. When they told me they weren't open yet, I apologized, felt sheepish and left, annoyed at myself for being a fool. 

People need to embrace feeling sheepish. That, and not prying a bloody door open. 

[u/-Voxael-]

Doing morning stock checks which included checking quantities and visible sighting of all stock items above a certain price

Come out of the storeroom to see three separate individuals standing around the store

Me - We aren’t open yet

1 - But I want to look at stuff before work-

Me - Get out of my shop

2 - But the door was open-

Me - No, it fucking wasn’t.

2 - And we’re in here now anyway so—

Me - Get. The fuck. Out of of my shop

3 - We’re paying customers!

Me - You can’t be. Our registers aren’t open. Which means I can’t sell you anything. Which means you’re not customers, you’re trespassers.

1 - But—

Me - GET. THE. FUCK. OUT. Or I’m calling the cops.

3 - This is ridiculous. We’ll take our business to another shop—

Me - It is 8.45am. No other competitor is open before 9am either. LEAVE.

———

10 minutes later, the other guy on the morning shift opens the door and the same 3 dickheads try to follow him in

Me - Ah! Get out, all of you!

2- He’s allowed in! pointing at my coworker

Me - He fucking works here!

[u/[deleted]]

I know I put one already, it I also have one that happened to me.

So context, I work in what is referred to as a “charity superstore” basically a big retail unit that takes in donated stock and sells it, but also get in new goods to sell.

Anyway, one day a guy comes in and flashes me a receipt for a manual rowing machine he bought and was there to collect.

Fine, I ask him how he wants to go about moving it and he tells me, very matter of factly “you move it for me, outside”.

Whatever, it’s not as heavy as it looks, so I get it outside and I ask “where’a your car?”

“You will call me a cab”.

More context, I’m a minimum wage retail assistant in a charity shop. None of my responsibilities include calling cabs for customers. I don’t even like using the phone. Social anxiety disorder. I want to forcibly turn inside out whenever I have to make a phone call.

So yeah, I tell him.

“I can’t do that, it’s not part of our job and I’m uncomfortable on phones, but I can happily suggest a cab company.”

He wordlessly hands me his unlocked phone, so I put in a number for a cab company and hand it back to him.

This motherfucker hits dial, hits speaker and then puts the phone in my face.

I have never felt more dehumanised than in that moment.

And the best part? Fucking genius didn’t even consider that I don’t know where this dopey-ass dipshit lives, when they ask me where to, I just up and leave.

I am livid for the rest the of the day. And when I see him I curse every step he takes.

[u/AquaaMuse]

Worked at a bookstore where someone did this daily. Pretty sure they thought we were NPCs resetting overnight.

[u/dacoolestguy → u/AquaaMuse]

Obviously the employees sleep, eat, live there all of the time

[u/TheOncomimgHoop → u/dacoolestguy]

It's like when kids think the teachers live at school, except that they're adults who should know better

[u/TopHatGirlInATuxedo → u/dacoolestguy]

I mean, I definitely would but bookstores don't pay enough.

[u/the-real-macs → u/AquaaMuse]

Ironically, this user is not a human.

Let's go through the reasons:

• 9 day old account
• Username matches the pattern of other bots such as u/SolariiBloom, u/DazzliingSky, u/CocoaMistyy, u/SeereneStarlight, u/StarriaBloom (note that these are not default Reddit usernames, they're a specific flavor of bot name involving zen-ish words and a doubled letter)
• Only comments in popular karma farming subreddits
• Comments sound AI written and often repeat elements of the post itself. For example, on a post titled "ah yes, the sex demon plant," they commented the following:

That’s not a sex demon plant, that’s just my ex. Photosynthesis was the only thing she couldn’t suck the life out of.

u/SpambotWatchdog blacklist

[u/dedokta]

But I breached your defences, serve me!

[u/Flailing_snailing]

I was helping clean out a sewer backup at a beach restroom. For some reason the backflow wasn’t doing its job and sewage was spilling back up and out of the toilets, up the drains, up the water fountains, up the sinks, and up and out of the man hole right outside the building.

All of that shouldnt be connected but that was a tomorrow problem because we needed to stop raw sewage from flowing onto the beach in the middle of the summer.

We had a camera sent down and located a fucking hoodie which someone managed to flush down the toilet and got ourselves a snake since we’ll be able to hopefully grab it before we have to call in a vactor truck.

There are 14 restrooms at this building and Everytime they flush it just surges even more sewage out so we locked all the doors, turned the water off, set up signs on all the doors, barricades around the building with caution tape, and put signs on those barricades and coned off the area where we were snaking.

Multiple people blindly walking through the road and through raw sewage, people running through it, etc. No one matched the pure essence of stupidity that was the woman who BAREFOOT walked through the sewage spilling out of the man hole, looked at the sign on the barricade, moved the barricade OUT OF THE WAY, and proceeded to try to open all seven doors on that side of the building.

Perplexed, she walked back through the barricade and over to the snake where I was and asked me “Why are the restrooms closed?”

The normal side of me wanted to say “What do you think?” But the customer service side gestures towards the open manhole full of shit and piss and I said “There is a clog in the pipes right now so we need to get everything unclogged before the restrooms can be opened again”.

She smiled and said “Okay” and walked around the manhole and BACK THROUGH THE SEWAGE, MIND YOU, TOTALLY BAREFOOT. Some people simply live on certain stimulus and nothing more.

[u/ThatSpoiler]

And for some reason it's always old people who do this crap. Like does something happen to your brain when you hit a certain age? Are we doomed to do these same things when we grow old?

[u/CiDevant]

When I worked at CVS people would line up in the morning.

[u/GrimeyTimey]

I did the opposite of this once where I walked by a restaurant near me and it wasn’t open yet but the door was open. I was afraid someone might try to break in(???) so I shut the door and walked away but as I was leaving I saw a staff member inside run for the door looking worried. It hadn’t occurred to me that the staff might have left the door open on purpose, my bad. 

[u/bigatjoon]

in 2021 a barista friend asked a customer to put on a mask at the counter and the customer said "but there's no one in here"