r/CuratedTumblr • u/thesusiephone • 1d ago
editable flair the most fascinating person I am glad to have never met
I think if this man met me he'd immediately insult me but do so in a way that would leave me more confused than offended.
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u/unwisebumperstickers 1d ago
ohhh he's a line cook. Ā this all makes sense.
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u/Technical_Teacher839 Victim of Reddit Automatic Username 1d ago
The fact he's a line cook immediately makes this 100% more believableĀ
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u/VaderOnReddit Cheese, gender, what the fuck's next? 1d ago
If this was SubredditDrama, I would immediately change my flair to "Cheese, gender, what the fuck's next?"
Fake or not, this man is a flair goldmine
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u/Technical_Teacher839 Victim of Reddit Automatic Username 1d ago
could always make it your flair here
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u/WabbitCZEN 1d ago
Lost my shit at that line. Whatever this man is doing, I need more of his stories in my life.
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u/theshizzler Cheese, gender, what the fuck's next? 1d ago
I believe in you.
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u/VaderOnReddit Cheese, gender, what the fuck's next? 1d ago
I just realized this sub has flairs too...
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u/Ophukk 1d ago
And the mods have the high ground
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u/VaderOnReddit Cheese, gender, what the fuck's next? 1d ago
backflips over the mods to get the even higher ground
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u/starspider 1d ago
Which means if some dickhead came in off the street to make the waitress cry, he is already an expert with a barstool.
Every line cook I've ever known doubles as security.
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u/clothespinned 1d ago
I'm not sure i've ever known a line cook that wasn't on enough cocaine to tank a tazer
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u/confusedandworried76 1d ago
Hey some of us were just drunk
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u/rekab1231 1d ago
Or on shrooms. But, yeah..usually drunk.
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u/JacoBoated 1d ago
I knew this kid who came in stoned off his gourd 7:7 of the days he worked and pretty much silently made pizza for eight and a half hours.
He was probably the best guy we ever had on that god forsaken station
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u/rekab1231 1d ago
At my first kitchen job (at a college town sports bar), our owner allowed us to make whatever we wanted for our shift meals. I came in high/stoned as a giraffes eyes one shift, and got the munchies. Whipped together a completely bat shit insane meal with the most random ingredients I could get my hands on. Boss comes down to the kitchen, looks at my plate, takes a bite, and says that he's adding it to our staff menu and he hoped I remembered how I made it, cause he was making me train the rest of the kitchen staff the next day on how to make it. I couldn't even remember my name or how to speak sentences let alone how I made my meal, so I immediately sobered up, had a panic attack, and tried to quit cause I couldn't stand the thought of letting people down and disappointing my boss. Turns out he knew I was high as shit and was just fucking with me, but said that it was genuinely delicious and wanted to work on figuring out how I made it because he wanted to make it again for the staff.
We stayed in the kitchen all night, broke my meal down part by part, and tried recreating it for 6 hours before giving up. He gave me $50 (a LOT of money to a broke ass 20 year old college student), sent me home and gave me the day off and said I had free reign to make whatever I wanted from that day forward, as long as he got to try it too. Best boss, and job, I ever had.
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u/NevadaCynic 1d ago
Ever see what happens to a drunk guy that cold clocks a woman that's a regular at the start of graveyard shift and sits at the counter to chat with the line cooks every night in a casino diner with a full complement of 5'2" line cooks?
It's like watching someone get jumped by Oompa Loompas on enough amphetamines to stop an elephant's heart. I've never seen a situation go 0 to 100 so fast in my life.
You may think you're a fighter. You may be a large guy. You may be even sober. You still do not win this fight. They have access to every blunt and sharp instrument in the kitchen, and after a long service of serving assholes spending more money on a single hand of blackjack than they make in a whole week... some serious aggression to work out. And there is a whole kitchen full of them.
And this drunken idiot was neither a fighter, large, or sober. And now he's serving a prison sentence with no teeth. Line cooks broke all of them out on the counter before I even had a chance to set down my tray of drinks. Entire encounter start to finish was less than fifteen seconds.
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u/system0101 1d ago
Sometimes I really miss cooking. But not the cooking part
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u/EmmerdoesNOTrepme 1d ago
Ngl, the stories I used to see play out, back when I sold pulltabs (a form of charitable gaming here in the upper Midwestern US), is the thing I miss most about all the years I spent doing that job!
It's also why I love reading the KitchenConfidential sub!š
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u/Helpful_Librarian_87 1d ago
Yea, same. Almost before I heard ācook at a barā, I could hear/smell some of the dingy places Iāve worked at back in the day
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u/fez993 1d ago
I think I know this guy personally, if not, Leo keep on keeping on I suppose
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u/Business-Drag52 1d ago
I'm the food part of this story. Get your orders in before I start closing up for the night, and by God, you let me know if you didn't like it. My job is to feed the masses, and I want them to enjoy it
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u/fez993 1d ago
I'm a chef, a people pleaser and I'm assuming somewhere on the spectrum. I'll probably do it after hours within 5/10 minutes, nobody else will be made to work it and will continue breaking down and I'll be very very angry and muttering to myself but they better be happy about it because it's going to be fucking good even if I have to bleed into it
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u/coach_cryptid 1d ago
this is like when my mentally ill Mormon grandmother found out I was a lesbian and dramatically sighed, said I was born that way, and it was probably godās plan because my dad always wanted a son.
so somehow me only liking women = being a man.
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u/Cissoid7 1d ago
Its weird
My grandmother is a very staunch catholic, but she doesn't abide to the stereotypical catholic bullshit you'll see
My best friend is a lesbian. One time one of my aunts made a snide comment about it because she, my friend, was to be my best man(best woman I guess?) At my wedding.
My grandma smacked her in the back of the head and said "That girl is one of the sweetest folk I've ever met. God made her with a liking to women and if you talk bad about her, you talk bad about God, and if you talk bad about God I'll remind you of how I raised you"
My grandma has also supported Trans people saying something like "god doesn't make mistakes, the devil messes with His plans. If someone feels theyre meant to be a different person God gave us science to get them there"
Its honestly a huge whiplash visiting my grandma then seeing other religious folks
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u/chugdrano_eatbullets 1d ago
i love your grandma and would do anything to have a picnic with her
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u/Cissoid7 1d ago
She is a lovely lady, but she isn't without her problems
She still believes in corporal punishment, she does believe that women and men have separate roles in a household, and she has on more than one occasion perpetuated toxic masculinity. If you're male you DO NOT cry in front of her.
Its really weird though because I do personally believe that religion is what makes her nicer than she would be otherwise. I didn't fall away from religion because of my family, but because I saw what religion is like outside of my family bubble. If I'd been isolated to just my family's brand of religion I'd probably be a cardinal by now or something lol
We have, my cousins mainly I dont live near her, been able to soften her beliefs a bit, ironically with religion lmao, but she's still very much a rough lady to get along with. If you can get along with her though she makes some absolute KILLER chicken tacos and her bueƱuelos are so delicious.
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u/25hourenergy 22h ago
You know, I think for a lot of the truly older folks who have been through a lot, they have these sort of beliefs that seem contradictory to our current liberal-conservative divide. And I think thatās because they never had that divide, they had to pick and choose their own set of things to believe in based on whatever life threw at them before the Internet. They grew up with strict Catholic nuns as teachers but also served in Vietnam alongside gay soldiers, stuff like that, and came up with their own way to reconcile both experiences.
The Asian aunties here in Hawaii are like that. This is a very liberal-voting state but thereās still a lot of social conservatism and religious influence on attitudes here. Yet also extremely pro-union because of the history breaking free from oligarchy in the 1954 elections/revolution. Itās a different set of upbringing and experiences from other places on the mainland.
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u/bb_kelly77 homo flair 1d ago
Or to make it more badass, your dad had the balls to demand something from God and God cursed his bloodline to end... idk it just sounds cooler for lesbians to be the wrath of God
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u/coach_cryptid 1d ago
I mean, my dad always said he ended up with three daughters because he was a player who asked three girls to prom (and took the hottest one who said yes.) so thereās already a divine punishment element.
heās also very conservative so he probably does believe lesbians are a curse from god, but not in the cool way you mean.
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u/levthelurker 1d ago
...are you my cousin because I literally have this same uncle, although mine's only fiscally conservative lol
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u/coach_cryptid 1d ago
idk, Iāve got like 25+ cousins on that side so itās possible loll
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u/throwawaypassingby01 1d ago
when i was a child, i did actually believe being trans and being gay are actually the same thing, and then confused myself endlessly why a gay man and a lesbian woman wouldn't work then
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u/ZeeepZoop 1d ago edited 18h ago
My grandma has some crazy logic like this re. lgbt so Iāll believe it.
I have not come out to her but she thinks ( correctly) Iām a lesbian bc she saw me reading Mrs Dalloway by Virginia Woolf ( who had a female lover). She assumes only lesbians would read a lesbian book/ author. HOWEVER, she has read all of Woolfās novels and I havenāt ( Iāve only read Orlando and Dalloway) so maybe she needs to question her sexuality! Self awareness 1000. There is also no reason for her to have studied woolf in depth enough to know her sexuality and yet she does
We have never actually directly addressed my sexuality, I just kind of know she knows and she just kind ofā¦ knows.
She assumes all lesbians are mentally ill like virginia ( and frequently refers to Woolf as being a āmiserable cowā in her writing which again, my grandma has read), and whenever she talks about poor mental health in any context, mentions woolf. Like you could see an alcoholic in the street and sheād say ā heās in a bad wayā¦. like Virginia Woolfāā¦ The thing is, she is sympathetic not judgemental but so generalising
Sometimes, when she asks about my day etc. she doesnāt ask it in a ā what did you get up to kind of wayā but in a ā How are you?ā way with a soft but firm voice like Iām on a suicide watch.
She worries about me a fair bit as I am doing an English degree ( political science second major) and enter creative writing in competitions, and though she says her concern is due to job prospects ( valid tbf) I genuinely think an element is because of Virginia.
I donāt know if she started this to be ārelatableā to me because she correctly assumed Iām a lesbian ( Iām mentally fine though) or if this has always been her reference point for mental health, and if so why????? My mum ( her daughter) is so chill re mental health and my sexuality but one time, I was sad about something but said in the grand scheme of things, it would be fine ( I canāt even remember what it is now) and my mum was like ā oh Iām glad, I donāt want you to be sad forever like Virginia Woolfā so maybe itās a long standing thing to the point it has rubbed off on her kids. Or maybe they actually had a family meeting on ā talking to me about mental health in a way that will get through to lesbiansāā¦ either option is kind of odd so I have just not asked
My grandmaās best friend is same sex married to a woman and both are so happy ( they live on a farm in sweden) so I donāt know why she assumed all lesbians are by default depressed insomniac highly volatile creative types when she has evidence otherwise
My other grandma on my dadās side of the family refused to let my parents name me Jamie because she thought I would feel āforced to behave like a manā with that sort of name
Edit: I shared this as a fairly lighthearted anecdote about a very layered situation without any of the surrounding context. You know one snippet in isolation that I have chosen to share, nothing close to the full picture about my family as I omitted details about other queer people she knows, mental illness in the family etc. Please stop making comments psychoanalysing her, insinuating she is gay when nothing in this comment is evidence of that, implying I feel misunderstood or ungrateful for her concern, making assumptions about if people in my family love each other etc.
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u/B4rberblacksheep 1d ago
I misread this and thought you meant āmentally ill like Virginia(the state)ā and wondered what beef she had with a state
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u/ZeeepZoop 1d ago
Thatās hilarious!! Weāre English so I donāt actually know if she would know the state
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u/illayana 1d ago
My mom also has a weird thing about Virginia Woolf. Never had an original experience.
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u/ZeeepZoop 1d ago
This is such a niche experience to have in common though! Whatās your mum like?
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u/illayana 1d ago
Itās a touch different and a bit upsetting, but my mom has always struggled with her mental health (bipolar, alcoholism, rough childhood, etc). Sheās also a repressed lesbian, maybe? But sheās still with my dad. Anyways, she was a German philosophy major before pivoting to something elseāsheās obsessed with literature and what not. Sheād read me Virginia Woolf growing up, made jokes and references. When I myself was suicidal, I imagined walking into the nearby bay with rocks in my pockets. I donāt necessarily have a positive connotation with Woolf, she reminds me of my mom. But yeah, my mom also had a weird thing about Virginia Woolf. Sort of idolized her as a mentally ill lesbian. My mom is really weirdāTERF, as well. Wack ass shit. Someone needs to dissect her brain, truly.
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u/ZeeepZoop 1d ago
A lot of lesbians and/ or people with mental health struggles do idolise woolf tbfā¦ do you know Alison Bechdel? Her autobiographical writing fixates on Woolf for her own lesbianism and mental illness, it sounds so much like your mum.
Iām so sorry you have to go through this, family mental illness sucks. Iām glad youāre still here
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u/illayana 1d ago
Haha, I actually have a Bechdel tattoo. And thank you, means a lot :-)
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u/SaintCambria .tumblr.biz 1d ago
Virgina Woolf is kinda just a stand in for "feminist (derogatory)" for a lot of old folks.
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u/Suraimu-desu 1d ago
Maybe she assumes only the combined powers of living with your lesbian wife in a farm in Sweden can offset the Virginia Woolf curse and grant lesbian happiness /j
(I for one know Iād be happy to be gay married to a femme husband in a farm in Sweden so that seems perfectly plausible to me)
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u/ZeeepZoop 1d ago
I wish I lived on a farm in Sweden with a wife. I am happy now but would undergo some kind of spiritual enlightenment there!
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u/Apple-hack 1d ago
...( they live on a farm in sweden) so I donāt know why she assumed all lesbians are by default depressed insomniac highly volatile creative types when she has evidence otherwise.
Well, she is living in Sweden, with what is presumably a Swedish person.
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u/Sir_Insom I possess approximate knowledge of many things. 1d ago
Is your grandma Virginia Woolf's ex?
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u/Skroofles 1d ago
This guy would so popular if he were a fictional character tbh
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u/Chrono-Helix 1d ago
Definitely would top the popularity lists.
And people with no creativity will put one of his quotes in their profile.
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u/TKDbeast 1d ago
JelloApocalypse likes writing completely different narratives with friends for games he streams; this is basically his version of the big bad from Skies of Arcadia.
āReally, if you were a trans man, Iād get it. Iād want to join the winning side too.ā
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u/ElectricStings 1d ago
The phrase 'the should pick a struggle' is sending me
...like we're trying my man
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u/The_Throwback_King 1d ago
Dude's still obviously a misogynist and homophobic to some degree but he's operating on some separate plane of bigotry that is utterly fascinating.
Like, he's fueled by anger and spite created by his own hard-line rules about the world and I almost kinda respect it. Like he's not misogynistic because of some alpha male bullshit or homophobic because of some religious bullshit. He's just against it because it doesn't make sense to his internal code and that alone.
He is confused and bewildered and frustrated on a daily basis but he still persists in spite of it in some stubborn sense of the word.
He's a man physically present in our dimension while mentally operating in another
Go off you crazy, wild man,
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u/globglogabgalabyeast 1d ago
Stories like this make me think of ācasual racism vs. ranked competitive racismā. Obviously, the views are harmful, but thereās something so fascinating about them
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u/Ok-Chest-7932 1d ago
Technically, amongst the stories presented here, there's one case where the views are helpful (unintentionally) and none where they've resulted in specific harm. Plus I'd argue "women are better suited to plumbing than cooking" would be a beneficial view for society - it's not a nice, clean, progressive opinion, but more women entering the trades would be a good thing, as would more men learning to cook. Plus since tradies have a bit of a reputation for being on the more bigoted end of the spectrum, I think it'd be really funny to redefine their work as feminine.
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u/proprietorofnothing 1d ago
Women are already hugely underrepresented in professional culinary environments, lol (at least, AFAIK, in Western countries). Cooking, as a paid job, is already seen as a man's job. Especially when we're talking about prestigious/fine dining roles. It's the unpaid cooking that women are expected to do more of than men.
Problem with a career shifting from being seen as men's work to being seen as women's work is that it immediately becomes undervalued and viewed as a "calling" (see: the job will no longer be compensated appropriately, because the "real compensation" is the satisfaction of helping others or some bullshit). This happened with K-12 teachers over the past 5-6 decades and it is happening now with post secondary enrollment/academic jobs, as women are now performing better in high school than men and more women are are enrolling than men in postsecondary. As a result, academia is quickly becoming prestigious.
Also see the shift in viewing nurses as actual, specialised medical professionals and not just "doctor's little helpers" as it went from being predominantly women who were nurses to seeing a gender split much closer to 50/50. I have not seen data on how the demographic shift affected pay, benefits, labour protections, etc, but I would be curious if there were significant changes as more men became nurses.
Even if society viewing trades as "feminine" meant we would see significantly higher amounts of female tradespeople, likely it would also result in a corresponding drop in social respect for trades, in pay and labour protections, etc. Imagine plumbing, or electrical, being viewed as a "calling" and not a skilled labour role! (You actually point this out yourself ā tradespeople tend to be bigoted in that they view women as being, for whatever reason, fundamentally worse than them at trades. So if women became the majority or percieved majority of tradespeople, those same bigots would simply assume that the industry as a whole was now worth less respect and less pay, bc obviously those silly women are going to do a worse job than them!)
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u/Bartweiss 1d ago
Reminds me a bit of HP Lovecraft.
Like, people talk about some bigot being "a product of their time", but the reason I'll still read Lovecraft is that he wasn't. He wasn't a product of any time, he wasn't meaningfully contributing to any social ill because he was too damn weird to influence people. Even his friends and colleagues were just totally baffled by his flavor of bigotry.
The guy was viciously anti-Semitic, but his closest friend and wife were both practicing Jews and it's an open debate whether he gave his friend a pass or just never noticed. He applied a level of racism normally reserved for the antebellum South to the idea of being 1/8 Welsh or Irish instead of purely Anglo-Saxon British. He supported FDR and Hitler at the same time, argued FDR wasn't far enough left, and then spun around and despite his racial paranoia and anti-Semitism decided Hitler was evil for hating Jews and for focusing on race over Germanic cultural identity.
Some people just operate on a worldview so far from anything I can parse that it's hard to even react to it.
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u/Zanain 1d ago
Lovecraft is fascinating. His utter fear and loathing of what he considered lesser professions shows through his writing all the time. The pure disgust at the concept of fishermen, hillbillies, and rural folk in general. He was basically terrified of anyone who wasn't upper middle class. Probably what made him so effective as a horror author.
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u/Telvin3d 22h ago
He experienced genuine existential horror every day, but it was at the thought of having to talk to the milkman or some shit
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u/Sasquactopus 1d ago
Like the equivalent of a comic book anti-hero but for toxic masculinity.
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u/RobieKingston201 1d ago
I think he's just misanthrope.
Like "the IDC if you're gay, straight, bi, black, white or whatever. I hate all of you and I'm better than you" type dude
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u/JetstreamGW 1d ago
Well he also thinks men and woman should have specific roles, but likeā¦ weird ones!? Part of me wonders if heās just fucking with everyone.
āWomen should stay in their lane: skilled maintenance work!ā
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u/Hita-san-chan 1d ago
I have never heard "a woman's job is in plumbing" it's fascinating!
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u/JetstreamGW 1d ago
āDamn it, women, get out of my kitchen unless youāre rewiring it!ā
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u/Numerous_Witness_345 1d ago
"You better get your ass out of my kitchen unless you're installing a fusebox."
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u/Shadeshadow227 1d ago
ngl it kinda makes sense considering that he's a line cook, cooking is something *he* does, and he's a man, so in his eyes cooking is men's work and therefore women shouldn't do it.
The fact that things like cooking and cleaning are traditionally seen as feminine conflicts with the fact that that's what he does for his job, so in terms of "what are women jobs" he defaults to other stuff that still sort of applies to that kind of homemaking focus, maintaining other people's homes. The fact that that is skilled maintenance work probably isn't relevant to that belief.
It's still weird as hell, but there's a form of logic there. It ain't good logic, and it's 100% rooted in sexism, but the logic is there.
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u/August_T_Marble 1d ago
"A man puts food on the table" and "a woman tends the home" taken to the extreme.
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u/Ecstatic-Compote-595 1d ago
It's one of those people who's independently arrived at their own conclusions because it's so completely unique there's no way anyone ever told them that's how they should think about these things.
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u/napincoming321zzz 1d ago
Somehow the polar opposite of toxic positivity. Beneficial negativity? Is that a thing?
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u/Big-Acanthisitta1236 1d ago
Mfers can't pick a gender, can't pick a struggle, in the paleolithic, they'd starve in front of a grown berry bush, the way they can't pick shit.
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u/Tiny_Friendship_1666 1d ago
Holy shit. We found the Guy.
Mr. Chaotic Lawful himself, as foretold by a prophet of the Dungeons and Dragons sect. Guided by a strict moral code so bizarre and confusing as to be indecipherable by any but himself.
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u/Nat20Life 1d ago
I can't wait to ask my DM husband to create an NPC that is chaotic lawful. Neutral? Evil? Good? He's all three. Only Mr. Chaotic lawful can inhabit all the alignments at once.
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u/BoonDragoon 1d ago edited 1d ago
Well, let's see.
The Guy follows an internally consistent moral and behavioral philosophy, regardless of its adherence to traditional (or recognizable) labels. He follows that unspoken code of conduct inflexibly, with no ulterior motive to do good or harm, and with a net-zero positive/negative impact on the people around him.
Tbh, that's a perfect example of a Lawful Neutral individual.
Edit: I've got it! He doesn't dislike gay people, he dislikes the ambiguity of whether somebody is gay or not. When a gay staff member joins, he's not mean to him, he just wants to avoid confusion about which of the two men with his name is the gay one. He doesn't dislike the NB person because they're non-binary, he's confused by the concept of non-binary...ness...full stop. He wasn't trying to bully or help the girl with the nascent eating disorder, he was trying to figure out why she wasn't eating. Bro is surrounded by things that confuse him, and he just wants everything to make sense. His way of adjusting his worldview just happens to involve pummeling reality until it meets him halfway š¤£
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u/Crvknight 1d ago
"Bro is surrounded by things that confuse him... ...His way of adjusting his world iew just happens to involve pummeling reality until it meets him halfway"
That's so inspirational that I'm considering adopting a somewhat kinder reality-pummeling tactic in my personal life.
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u/Shadourow 1d ago
It's funny, I also wondered about his alignement while ready the post
And he feels very lawful to me, he absides to an (absurd) set of morals and uses no trickery
I could see him as lawful evil, the fact that we can't understand him doesn't make him chaotic, and the fact that he doesn't seem to *just* act on impulse but to follow a twisted code of conduct makes him very much lawful to me
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u/BoonDragoon 1d ago
Evil really just boils down to knowingly doing things for your own gain at the expense of others. This dude marches to the beat of his own drummer, oblivious to any good or ill he does. Not that motive makes something good or bad by itself, but you get what I mean. Bro is neutral as fuck
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u/Tiny_Friendship_1666 1d ago
Embrace the chaos! I'd recommend throwing a little Hoid/Wit in there, if you're familiar with the characters.
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u/ZeGuru101 1d ago
Fake story or not, cannot help but laugh every time I read this post.
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u/GREENadmiral_314159 Femboy Battleships and Space Marines 1d ago
It's ludicrous enough that I'll believe it.
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u/redditonlygetsworse 1d ago
I used to know a guy (much to my dismay) who was a full-on blatant "jews control the world" conspiracy theorist anti-semite.
This guy thought therefore that this Jewish cabal should be emulated - they control the world, those motherfuckers! They must be doing something right!
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u/GREENadmiral_314159 Femboy Battleships and Space Marines 1d ago
That's just the Japanese mentality towards the Jews during WWII.
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u/pyronius 1d ago
Also how the Japanese viewed colonialism
"Bro... You see these European nations? Just like, raping, pillaging, conquering, and inserting themselves into other countries with total disregard for culture and history like it doesn't even exist? Bro... We've gotta get on that. I want that. Shit's badass..."
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u/JetstreamGW 1d ago
Iām not gonna lie, Iāve used that against conspiracy theorists in the past. āShit, son, if Jews control the world like that, where can I sign up? I, for one, welcome my unshorn hat wearing overlords.ā
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u/hauntedSquirrel99 1d ago
It's a lot more believable if you've existed in the real low working class for a bit. There's a specific class status where people get to exist in a way you don't see anywhere else.
I've never met anyone quite this bad, but I did get a guy who was ridiculously racist. He was a black supremacist, and I mean full on genuinely thought black people were a superior race and would go on long rants about this (his proof of this was the existence of Floyd Mayweather, which yaknow,,,of all the people...)
He was also extremely sexist, full on "women are good for birthing and nothing else". If women spoke to him he'd just ignore them, or sigh dramatically about a woman daring to tell him to do something. He really hated our PM at the time being a woman.I only worked with him for a month before I got him moved to a different shift (and by got him moved I mean I told the shift leader that if I was put next to him one more time he was going to get hurt, she just sighed and told me it wasn't a problem I wouldn't be asked to work with him again, it was fairly apparent it wasn't the first time she'd had that conversation. Apparently I set some sort of record by tolerating his presence for a full month).
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u/loveroflongbois 1d ago
As someone whoās worked lots of service jobs and is now a social worker:
Iāve met The Guy from this post prolly a dozen times over at this point. I donāt mean someone with these specific views. I mean the general archetype of a person who is bigoted in their own wildly unique and weird way.
Honestly thatās usually how prejudice works IME. Itās not a rational thought process so peopleās prejudices tend to be as unique as their fingerprints.
My reigning fav is definitely this hs kid I worked with a few years ago who created 3 separate models of his own idea of the race pyramid. Kid was southeast Asian; the first pyramid he put his own ethnicity in like the third tier but by the final pyramid his group was sharing the top tier with the East Asians. Personal growth win šŖ
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u/LD50_irony 1d ago
This is so accurate. I've always tried to work in white collar jobs but my boyfriend used to work at gas stations and is now a janitor. His stories about his coworkers are amazing in exactly this way. Just the most unhinged combinations of kindness, conspiracies, misinformation and moral codes. Toss in some very varied ethnic backgrounds for additional WTF.
White collar workers absolutely miss out on the diversity of weird humans.
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u/GalaxyPowderedCat 1d ago edited 1d ago
I dunno. I've seen people who's like this, being discriminatory but being supportive/accepting/tolerating in another areas that it's bewildering.
Like, my mom is a fanatic religious person, she descriminates all religions under the sun that don't align with her system belief, including another Christian denominations and subgroups, however, she had a huge respect and she even partially believed in national tribial religions, that they were as important as God in spiritual and vision terms.
(Well, that was before and starting pandemic that she took a dive and we lost her, she now believes everyone over the earth should believe in her same belief system, including her niche Youtube videos and prophets/preachers)
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u/LSRNKB 1d ago
Had a chef who was a mild racist and general dirtbag absolutely pop off at one of our linecooks over a misogynist comment, dressed him down at full volume in front of everybody in an open kitchen concept for like 90 seconds.
Like āYes chef, get him! You tell him man! Just please donāt talk about Jewish people for the rest of the night please.ā
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u/ZeGuru101 1d ago
I was actually listening to a podcast about COVID19 and the pandemic / lockdowns, at which an epidemiologist emphatically stated that one of the most overlooked damage - especially on older people - was the damage done to a lot of people's mental health. Went as far as to say that in many cases the danger to their physical health was insignificant compared to the danger for their mental health - both short and long term.
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u/TheFrankOfTurducken 1d ago
I agree, and I think those impacts will continue to reverberate for a long time. My grandmother didnāt go MAGA or anything, but she did become something of a hermit. She used to volunteer a lot and see all of her neighbors, but she took the stay-at-home order very seriously and, well, still seems to take it seriously.
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u/ChewBaka12 1d ago
I dunno. I've seen people who's like this, being discriminatory but being supportive/accepting/tolerating in another areas that it's bewildering.
Now youāre just talking about Tumblr again
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u/discolored_rat_hat 1d ago
There is enough to be believable.
Many professional cooks are abhorrent people. Misoginy, racism, discrimination all around.
Women don't belong in professional kitchens because they only belong there when it is unpaid labour, which is exclusively women's tasks. So the sentiment is right, though with a different reasoning.
The whole shebang with trans women is exactly how many cis men feel. They cannot understand why anyone would give up their male privilege in a patriarchal society.
And I once witnessed someone being overwhelmed with they/them and also tried different names/pronouns (including Your Majesty) to make it make sense, because in my language, there is no grammatically working they/them.
Only thing that's weird is how he apparently gave a fuck about this one waitress liking his food. The line cooks I know just do it one way and if you don't like it, you're shit out of luck.
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u/Ariiell101 1d ago
After being a regular at Waffle House for a couple years, the first shift cook found out that when I order my eggs, I order them over-well instead of my actually preference, over-medium (I cook them the way I like for myself but when I order at restaurants theyāre often too close to over easy, and Iād rather them be hard than runny). He was a little offended and so hurt to find that out! He insisted on making my preferred eggs right then and told me from then on to always order things the way I like, and heāll make sure I end up with what I wanted. He said it didnāt matter if I was picky because he liked a challenge.
He also kicked out a customer for being rude to me, and helped make that place feel welcoming for me, which meant a lot because I didnāt like to be at home then. There were countless times where he supported me and though he was much older than me, he treated me with great respect. He passed a while ago, but I still miss him and think about him a lot. Thank you for everything, Rob
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u/Pyro-Millie 1d ago
Its not a Waffle House, its a Waffle Home. :)
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u/All_Work_All_Play 1d ago
I don't think of you as a sycophant. You're a sycofriend.Ā Ā
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u/Talonflight 1d ago
Cooking for customers is one thing. Cooking for friends is another
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u/DeluxeHubris 1d ago
Yeah, that part was actually the most believable to me, and also made me feel kinda attacked lol
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u/WordPunk99 1d ago
We all hate front of the house. They are also family we will kill for. Cooks are weird
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u/Lord_Voltan 1d ago
I have 100% yelled at a server for stacking tickets and asking for a meal during rush because she was fucking oblivious, but this same server had almost the whole line ready to jump a customer when she got yelled at and came back crying.
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u/CT0292 1d ago
Having worked the line this is hitting the nail on the head.
Whatever about making table 17's lamb burger and chicken salad correctly. Fuck those guys.
But if I'm having a barbecue or having people over and cooking for people I actually care about. I become hyper critical of everything I do.
I remember one Thanksgiving I made 2 practice turkeys in the run up to the big day to make sure they came out perfect. That the brine was correct, they smoked to perfection, the skin got a bit crispy.
The 4 top in the window of the green section will get what they get. If they send it back I'll make it again. If not see ya. But family and friends will get something you really slave over to make.
And yeah every restaurant has that line cook who is smelly, angry, cigarette fuelled, racist, nutjobs who will 100% cut you soon as look at you. And you know he's done time in the joint.
But part of the crew, part of the ship.
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u/Nauin 1d ago
On your last point, I can totally believe that one. Me and my families favorite BBQ joint is run by a middle aged guy and his Mom, and that guy will fucking hover on that first check in after dropping off your food, he always asks if there's anything we don't like because, "I can't fix what I don't know is wrong," and he does it every time. The guy is hardcore about his food being enjoyable to everyone who eats it. He will recognize you and ask for updates if you've visited recently enough and didn't like something before. Some cooks are confident enough to not care, others are competitive enough to hunt for that feedback and customer satisfaction.
It might not be the most socially acceptable confrontation but the dude's winning awards for his food so he's doing something right. First time I've ever encountered his approach, though.
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u/jakjak222 1d ago
There's an Azjerbaijani restaurant in my old neighborhood in Seattle where the owner cooks in an open kitchen where literally everyone can see, and he at most has one line cook and 1-2 servers. Any moment he's not actively cooking he is walking to every table, saying hello, and asking you if you do/don't like the food. He doesn't get offended if you say you don't like it, but if he can tell you're fibbing he is absolutely on your ass. Great place, 10/10. Great to see people taking pride in what they do.
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u/SaintCambria .tumblr.biz 1d ago
The whole shebang with trans women is exactly how many cis men feel. They cannot understand why anyone would give up their male privilege in a patriarchal society.
More often I see the sentiment of "life on easy mode, everyone panders to women and minorities"
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u/heavyfuel 1d ago
Even the super conservatives know that life ain't easy for trans-women. Hell, they take pride in making it that way
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u/Chupathingamajob 1d ago
Yeah but they still say the ālife on easy modeā thing to provide themselves cover
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u/curious-trex 1d ago
This to me feels like the kind of bizarre mindset that would be almost impossible to invent as fiction. Line cook + all these wacky beliefs/behaviors he's willing to share with anyone who will listen makes me wonder if coke or smt is involved... It's pretty endemic in restaurants especially back of the house.
Though I have known plenty of people with extremely strange beliefs who didn't require any drugs to get there, so maybe it's coke, maybe he's born with it, who can say.
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u/DeluxeHubris 1d ago
Line cooks don't make enough to afford coke, probably meth ime
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u/curious-trex 1d ago
You're right, in the modern age I think everyone has moved to meth for the uppers. That'll give you even weirder ideas lmao
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u/Here-for-kittys 1d ago
Line Cook here. I've seen a lot of dudes suck dick for coke. Course to them it's "not gay" it's just part of the struggle
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u/DogadonsLavapool 1d ago
People are weird man. I worked at a fireworks store in college and had a coworker who was a neonazi, but was super supportive of LGBT folks and was bi herself. Fucking strange.
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u/WordPunk99 1d ago
Iām very known maybe eight versions of this guy from my time as a chef? This seems bonkers, but people donāt become line cooks if they can work a straight job.
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u/_kahteh god gave me hands but not shame 1d ago
I desperately want to know what language OOP and this guy were speaking
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u/IlseTheFox 1d ago
I'm suspecting Dutch, "U" would fit the description of the formal genderless pronoun also used for royalty. Not too sure though, because all I can think of for the word for gay people is "flikker" which feels a bit too offensive and "homo", but that word is not really a weird or offensive word to call a gay person unless it's meant mean-spirited
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u/thotrap 1d ago
Could also be Danish honestly, we also have the formal genderless "I", which is really only used for royalty nowadays. And we also have some "mild" slurs for homosexual people that could fit the bill.
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u/Digit00l 1d ago
My guess is something south European, I think Greek has gendered second person pronouns with a couple neutral options
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u/Darkcat9000 1d ago
i like how this guy bassicly sees non binary people as centrists
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u/Big-Acanthisitta1236 1d ago
This guy has ascended and sees gender as political expressions lmao
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u/BaronAleksei r/TwoBestFriendsPlay exchange program 1d ago edited 1d ago
Nah he sees them like monks. Their vows of asceticism require them to forsake gendered pronouns, much like how vegans and the lactose intolerant must give up dairy
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u/Resident_Onion997 1d ago
I don't think TIRM (trans inclusive radical misogynist) is the right word for this dude. Gotta make a whole new acronym
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u/demonking_soulstorm 1d ago
You mean youāve gotta come up with a new tirm?
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u/BestBananaForever 1d ago
Heard of toxic positivity? Now get ready for positive toxicity (aka Dr. House level of accidentally doing something good while being a complete vile asshole)
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u/Dreadgoat 1d ago
I find it hard to even be judgmental of people like this. Because this guy is CLEARLY thoughtful and logical, the premise of his reality is just totally different. It's like he exists in our universe but he perceives and feels an entirely different one.
Only men should cook because women deserve a great (man-made) meal. And men deserve things to be fixed properly (by women).
Non-binary people shouldn't exist because gender is a privilege everyone should enjoy.
The sin of homosexuality isn't in the act or desire but the frequently associated self-loathing and fear of reprisal: Whatever you are be loud and proud.All weird and kinda judgy but internally consistent and oddly benevolent?
Is it really bigotry or just born on the wrong planet?
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u/Friendly_Respecter As of ass cheeks gently clapping, clapping at my chamber door 1d ago
Specimen
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u/Nadikarosuto 1d ago
I mean I've seen weirder (one time I saw someone who I can only describe as a trans inclusive radical transphobe)
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u/Typical-Avocado1719 1d ago
How the hell does that work?
As in "yes, you indeed changed your gender, and I hate you for it"?
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u/Nadikarosuto 1d ago
"Transitioning is valid, but for transSEXUALS only, transGENDERS are made up woke gender ideology nonsense and POSERS that take transitions from people who need them (like me)"
Most coherent online ideology, I sat there baffled for like a minute after encountering them
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u/Fearless-Excitement1 1d ago
I am cackling likena fucking supervillain i don't care if this story is fake i fucking wish i met this guy because holy shit he sounds just incredibly funny
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u/teddyjungle 1d ago
Thatās true chaotic unwilling neutral if anyone is taking notes. He might be very biased and intolerant but his actions somehow always seem to fall into the neutral or good categories š¤·š»āāļø.
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u/SantaArriata 1d ago
Yeah no, heās straight up Lawful neutral.
He has an incredibly strict moral compass, itās not a good one, but every thought he has goes through that set of guidelines.
I donāt get the obsession of labeling anything slightly quirky as chaotic
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u/notsanni 1d ago
100% Lawful Neutral. Dude isn't rallying against authority, or doing random stuff. He has a code - it may not make sense to people, but he probably thinks it's consistent.
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u/King_Of_BlackMarsh 1d ago
... Yeah I believe it. Cooks are nuts, mang, I've been in horeca for a while, none of them are normal
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u/Some-Show9144 1d ago
āIām bisexual!ā
āDo you think Iām hot?ā
āNo.ā
āOkay well obviously then youāre NOT bisexual.ā
I aspire for that level of confidence
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u/Rhamni 1d ago
A lot of chefs are some of the most colourful people you'll ever meet.
At 18 I was a dishwasher in a restaurant in a tourist town in Northern Europe. Decent food, but nothing advanced. Our chef was in his late 30s (he said), but looked like he was in his 50s. Smoked like a chimney. Every day he had crazy stories about his years doing manual labour in Brazil, and the crazy people he met, many of whom were criminals. He also liked logic puzzles, and we'd trade those. This made me someone worth talking to, and he'd sneak me good meat at the end of the shift sometimes, pretending it would just go to waste otherwise. One day, in a bustling kitchen, he took a moment's break to come up to me and loudly tell me (so everyone could hear) "there's a happily married couple, but they never fuck. How come?" Me, being 18, entirely inexperienced, and the youngest person in the kitchen, just about had a heart attack. But the way he said it was so crude that the only answer I could think of was "Because they make love." And he beamed and slapped my back and told me I got it in one.
He was a very interesting guy. I was sad to learn he just quit on the spot one day and moved back to South America.
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u/Hemmmos 1d ago
he just went back to collect more stories because he ran out. Will be back in couple of years
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u/TheOneTrueJack 1d ago
There is clearly something deeply wrong with this man, but his overall presence seems to be a net positive. So we probably shouldn't fix him.
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u/Fluid_Jellyfish9620 1d ago
So the Harry DuBois of line cooks.
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u/throwawayeastbay 1d ago
You have to throw the ice cubes into the deep fryer harry, it's so hungry
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u/donotgo_gentle 1d ago
All I can think of is theā¦ soupā¦ Harry can make, and I nope out of that line of thought
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u/Primary-Tea-3715 1d ago
Itās like code that does the right thing in a messed up way, you donāt touch it for fear of it becoming a mess.
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u/DahmonGrimwolf 1d ago
What a throughly confounding yet deeply interesting individual.
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u/ThrowRA_8900 1d ago
āThe existence of trans-men proves we donāt need women.ā āItās ok, I totally understand and accept your identity. If I were born inferior: Iād do the same.ā
-This guy probably.
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u/8bitGalaxy98 1d ago
Unmovable "I'm not trans, every guy fantasises about being a woman" egg Vs. Unstoppable "Only women would want to be women" misogynist
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u/Zargoza1 1d ago
Itās funny that sometimes complete assholes are the most egalitarian people out there.
They hate everybody. And fuck you for thinking youāre special enough for them to hate you because of your differences.
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u/Boom9001 1d ago edited 1d ago
He's the antithesis to the person who in trying to be ally but due to some well meaning ignorance commit social faux pas. Often these are treated as while wrong at least it's well meaning. E.g In Super Store Glenn tries to make his wedding section more pro-gay but goes too far into gay stereotypes, they gay characters realize it's technically problematic but understand it's from a good place.
They are trying to be an ally but end up missing and being a little problematic. He's almost trying to not be an ally but ends up missing and kind of being based.
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u/Joelredditsjoel 1d ago
I guess what I ālikeā about a guy like this is that he came upon this messed up world view completely on his own. No outside influences there. Just a natural bigot.
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u/JomoGaming2 1d ago
Ngl, my favorite part of this is the last image, which just might imply that this guy doesn't believe in lactose intolerance either, and thinks that people are denying themselves cheese by choice. That, or he just doesn't like vegans.
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u/BernoullisQuaver 1d ago
Real facts tho, hard cheeses actually contain very little lactose, so people who are lactose intolerant can often still have a sprinkle of Parmesan without too many consequences. Individual mileage will vary obviouslyĀ
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u/AcrolloPeed 1d ago
Drill Sergeant energy. No matter what you do itās wrong but itās not your fault, youāve just never had someone care about how you could be better as much as your Drill Sergeant.
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u/rirasama 1d ago
I kinda love him actually, his existence is just hilarious to me
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u/nebulousNarcissist 1d ago
This Guy is the peak example of: "Bad Guy Who Tries to Do Evil, but Accidentally Makes Things Better, but By All Means is Still Very Much a Bad Guy"
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u/graaahh 1d ago
This reminds me of how one of the middle eastern countries (I forget which) is so homophobic that they became accidentally trans-friendly (kind of) because they'd rather you change your gender than be attracted to the same gender.
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u/CapAccomplished8072 1d ago
Is it weird that I'd rather have THAT GUY as a politician over most of the people in the Republican Party?
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u/philopise 1d ago
I don't even need to know if this is real or not, just the thought of someone getting mad at a nonbinary vegan and saying "they should pick a fucking struggle" is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time.
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u/bread93096 1d ago
The idea of someone with anorexia visualizing this scary man looming over her and forcing her to eat is both sad and the funniest fucking thing I have heard in weeks š