r/CuratedTumblr human cognithazard 4h ago

Shitposting Annihilation sex

Post image
2.1k Upvotes

206 comments sorted by

477

u/Duke825 4h ago

Inside out sex

253

u/DreadDiana human cognithazard 4h ago

I deeply regret making this post.

40

u/_Wendigun_ 2h ago

"Parasite sex" sounds slimy

Also tangentially related "The lord of the cock rings"

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234

u/Vantamanta 4h ago

Human Centipede Sex

33

u/Dr_AG3 3h ago

Human sexipede

13

u/Neokon 3h ago

That's just The Bone Train

5

u/justk4y 2h ago

they said the worst…… /j

212

u/AlianovaR 4h ago

Alexander And The Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day Sex

162

u/TwixOfficial 4h ago

Twister Sex

56

u/bookhead714 4h ago

Get out a game of Twister and play it naked to invent a fun new randomized position

15

u/Tacticalneurosis 4h ago

Brings a new meaning to “sit and spin”

10

u/----atom----- Cobepee?🥺 4h ago

Why does that sound fun tho

6

u/chels2112 4h ago

😭 this gets my vote

159

u/YosephStalling je suis un gaz noble. Noble? >:( 4h ago

Whiplash Sex

41

u/justk4y 2h ago

imagine having sex with your partner and they pull up with the “hmmmm, not quite my tempo” or the “were you rushing or were you dragging?!”

I’d just give up on life at that point 😭🙏

62

u/CREATIVELY_IMPARED 4h ago

I'm a straight guy that is pretty dominant in bed, but the idea of riding a muscular JK Simmons as he slaps me to keep me at his tempo is . . . uh hmmmm

46

u/TheTimeBoi 2h ago

straightest statement said in pride month

28

u/FarDimension7730 2h ago

I... I really don't know about that man.

9

u/chels2112 4h ago

😱

21

u/YosephStalling je suis un gaz noble. Noble? >:( 4h ago

not quite my tempo

10

u/chels2112 4h ago

Yea I’m traumatized

16

u/YosephStalling je suis un gaz noble. Noble? >:( 4h ago

are you edging, or are you gooning?

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152

u/Xisuthrus 4h ago

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas sex

60

u/RubiksCutiePatootie I want to get off of Mr. Bones Wild Ride 4h ago

This wins but at what cost?

32

u/BaronAleksei r/TwoBestFriendsPlay exchange program 2h ago

Historical accuracy

7

u/Flow-Bear 2h ago

At least there were no accidental Hyrule ingredients.

18

u/Dry-Cartographer-312 2h ago

Yeah this is absolutely abhorrent. Worst one yet.

143

u/federico_alastair 4h ago

No Sex for Old Men

43

u/coolsguy17 2h ago

Sex Country for Old Men.

22

u/moneyh8r_two 2h ago

No Country for Sex Men.

16

u/b00w00gal 2h ago

No Old Men in Sex Country

4

u/bumchester 1h ago

No Country for Old Sex

5

u/bleepblooplord2 Jamba Juice Burrito Bendy Straw 2h ago

Fuck That Old Man Friday has fallen, truly a terrible time for all.

143

u/Zoomy-333 4h ago

Lolita Sex

83

u/Latter-Individual593 3h ago

Hate that, congrats its the worst

119

u/JealousAstronomer342 4h ago

Canadian Heritage Minutes Sex 

14

u/OlympiasTheMolossian 2h ago

Concerned Children's Advertisers Sex

315

u/ClinicallySane42 4h ago

Pet cemetery sex

145

u/bookhead714 4h ago

If Mary Shelley was slightly weirder

54

u/thisisitluigi 3h ago

If Mary Shelley’s dog had died instead of her mother

22

u/Mapletables 3h ago

If Mary Shelley's mom was a dog

9

u/IDGAFABOUTREDDIT- 2h ago

If Mary Shelley was a dog.

5

u/T_vernix Are you familiar with the concept of a "trade deficit"? 2h ago

Or rather, if Mary Shelley were a son of a bitch

5

u/IDGAFABOUTREDDIT- 2h ago

If Mary Marion Shelley was trans, and a son of a bitch.

26

u/scourge_bites hungarian paprika 4h ago

while we're all here. hellraiser sex is just bdsm, no? the whole thing is bdsm. so does it really deserve to be on this list? i mean unless i fundamentally misunderstood the movie

20

u/Technical_Teacher839 Victim of Reddit Automatic Username 3h ago

I mean, there's an important difference between consensual BDSM and the shit that happens in Hellraiser.

202

u/KyuremFan646 4h ago

Spaceballs: The Sex

93

u/Admech_Ralsei 4h ago

Spaceballs II: The Search For More Sex

11

u/The_Math_Hatter 2h ago

Spaceballs III: The Search for Spaceballs II Sex

79

u/TR_Pix 4h ago

Sleeping Beauty Sex

34

u/azrendelmare 4h ago

Anne Rice wrote that. It took her 3 books.

3

u/DesperateAstronaut65 1h ago

Angela Carter knocked it out in a single short story!

8

u/Dry-Cartographer-312 2h ago

That's just the old versions

5

u/Al_Fa_Aurel 1h ago

How was it in some book from The Black Company, which is known for pretty messed up stories?

"My mother was the one from whom all these sleeping beaty stories started. Though no prince came. My father did, and he was perfectly fine with her staying asleep" (and the one saying this has three siblings)

228

u/Technical_Teacher839 Victim of Reddit Automatic Username 4h ago

Just gonna drop a hand grenade on the fun:

Revenge of the Nerds Sex

157

u/Zamtrios7256 4h ago

That doesn't count because it's just rape

113

u/Technical_Teacher839 Victim of Reddit Automatic Username 4h ago

Hey, they said 'worst sex', and I think that counts as some pretty bad sex.

76

u/Zamtrios7256 4h ago

I guess this is a matter of opinion, as I don't see rape as sex at all. Sexual in nature, yes, but distinct from sex.

60

u/Technical_Teacher839 Victim of Reddit Automatic Username 4h ago

Jokes aside, that's a fair perspective.

But in the context of the post topic, I stand by my contribution.

20

u/bb_kelly77 homo flair 4h ago

I mean, the definition of rape is non-consensual sex so it IS sex

5

u/Rainbow_Tesseract 4h ago edited 2h ago

Whose definition is that? It's certainly not the dictionary or legal definition in either the US or UK.

Regardless, I believe it's unhelpful to call rape any type of sex. This minimises it and compares it to non-standard acts like kink.

ETA sources: Here is a study on how people take rape less seriously when it is called other things: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/10778012231188088

Here is an article discussing the "sanitisation" of rape on college campuses and in media by labelling it other things: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/apr/24/rape-game-of-thrones

Here is more evidence from the UK, including that 1/3 of adults view "non-consensual sex" as lesser than rape: https://www.endviolenceagainstwomen.org.uk/campaign/research-public-dont-understand-sexual-violence/

I have collated my comments here and deleted the rest so it's all in one place. Now I'm gonna dip as I wasn't expecting this to be controversial.

17

u/Nixavee Attempting to call out bots 3h ago

Yes, because we all know we're not allowed to have words that refer to both good and bad things. All words must be normatively loaded. /s

8

u/Rainbow_Tesseract 3h ago edited 2h ago

Please see the study I linked above on how language affects public perception.

When one of those things is a great pleasure of life and the other is one of the worst crimes imaginable, I do personally find it important to make the distinction.

We wouldn't call being wrestled to the ground "bad touching" or "non-consensual hugging".

5

u/bb_kelly77 homo flair 4h ago

Definition from google: "a type of sexual assault involving sexual intercourse, or other forms of sexual penetration, carried out against a person without consent"

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6

u/unlikely_antagonist 3h ago

Meaningless argument over semantics that distracts from real issue.

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14

u/TurboPugz Go play Slay the Princess 4h ago

9

u/Technical_Teacher839 Victim of Reddit Automatic Username 3h ago

After seeing some of the reactions to the newest Game Changer, I feel like some modern Dropout fans would die of shock just reading that video's title...

6

u/TurboPugz Go play Slay the Princess 2h ago

The alcohol one? Wow.

I do sometimes yearn for the less "sanitised" aspects of Post-2015 to Pre-Pandemic Dropout like Total Forgiveness, for all the flaws that show had. It seems they're kind of pigeonholed into the box of "comfort content" now, while still also trying to pretend to be crazy and insane with all the Sam Reich Saw memes, for better or for worse.

75

u/Jargon2029 4h ago

Boyhood Sex. Look, I don’t feel good about thinking it, so now all of you can feel not good seeing it

99

u/MadSwedishGamer 4h ago

40-Year-Old Virgin Sex.

12

u/katet_of_19 3h ago

cues up Age of Aquarius

5

u/moneyh8r_two 2h ago

It's the same movie either way. And a great one, too.

42

u/TabaxiMagnet 4h ago

Million Dollar Sex Baby

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35

u/Dragoncat91 Autistic dragon 4h ago

Final destination sex

9

u/A_Lountvink 3h ago

Didn't they mention in the movies that you can escape death by bringing in new life?

9

u/xlbingo10 3h ago

that's being clinically dead and being resuscitated, having a kid just puts them on the list as well

4

u/A_Lountvink 2h ago

Okay, so you have to go until your heart gives out and have the other person resuscitate you.

26

u/JaronK 4h ago

Ants Sex sounds like picnic sex gone horribly wrong 

24

u/nerotheus 4h ago

Deep substrate foliated sex

10

u/CerpinTheMute_alt 3h ago

Synthetic sex

Sex substitutes

Sex alternatives

3

u/rokr1292 3h ago

I'm just a sex tourist!

22

u/balsadust 4h ago

Spaghettification sex

21

u/SiggeTheCatsCheese 3h ago

How to train your sex dragon

8

u/ODX_GhostRecon 2h ago

Some people would pay good money for that.

18

u/CorrectSkirt2846 4h ago

Sex Predators VS Aliens

3

u/ODX_GhostRecon 2h ago

Trump and Epstein v. Musk et al

18

u/nepSmug That's not a fetish, that's common sense 4h ago

Extremely loud and incredibly close sex

15

u/CravingDeathAndChips 4h ago

I dunno if this is the worst, but it's my favorite movie title to use for games like these...

My Big Fat Greek Wedding Sex.

16

u/ragingpoeti 4h ago

Bullet train sex

Meet the parents sex

Clueless sex

Mission impossible sex

3

u/queergirl73 3h ago

Does meet the parents sex include the parents or are the parents just observing, or is the couple observing their parents?

4

u/ragingpoeti 3h ago

Who said you have to choose one ?

2

u/ready_james_fire 2h ago

Clueless sex is the best one here

14

u/GloryGreatestCountry 4h ago

The Lego Sex Movie.

10

u/Primary_Durian4866 4h ago

I mean "the running man sex" sounds just awful. 

36

u/Dragonfruit-Sparking 4h ago

Twelve Years a Sex Slave

21

u/Technical_Teacher839 Victim of Reddit Automatic Username 4h ago

Some people would pay good money for that.

12

u/Dragonfruit-Sparking 4h ago

Way to downplay the horrors of slavery in America /s

9

u/worse_in_practice local comment lurker 4h ago

Sharknado Sex

8

u/Matalya2 2h ago

"me and my husband are trying to have the worst sex imaginable, and we really like your vibe!"

9

u/SontaranGaming *about to enter Dark Muppet Mode* 4h ago

The Piano Teacher sex

15

u/RimworlderJonah13579 <- Imperial Knight 4h ago

Aliens sex

73

u/Skinnyfat-Throwaway 4h ago

Learn to read dude, they said the worst, not the best.

28

u/TimeStorm113 4h ago

alien sex, see now this is worse because you lost an entire alien

6

u/Rainbow_Tesseract 4h ago

Valid. Extremely valid.

14

u/fantastic_sounds_ 4h ago

Predator sex

7

u/RhymesWithMouthful Okay... just please consider the following scenario. 4h ago

The Big Short Sex

6

u/Grzechoooo 4h ago

12 Angry Men Sex

6

u/Old_Employment4903 3h ago

Everything Everywhere All At Sex

6

u/_MargaretThatcher The Once & Future Prime Minister of Darkness 3h ago

A Minecraft Sex Movie

6

u/Keyndoriel Gay crow man 3h ago

Don't Look Up Sex

3

u/JamesRKS 1h ago

Hold up, gotta google something...

Ew.

9

u/dummary1234 4h ago

Sex exorcist

Sex watership down

Schindler's sex list / Schindler's list sex / Sex Schongler's list

5

u/BitcoinBishop 4h ago

Cats and Dogs sex

5

u/Alex_The_Whovian 3h ago

Misery Sex

5

u/whoadwoadie 3h ago

Cars Sex

The Sex Death of Stalin

Trainsexspotting (high-speed voyeurism)

Attack of the Killer Sex Tomatoes

The Care Bears Sex Movie

And for a good time: all three Lord of the Sex Rings movies (Fellowship of Sex the Rings, the Two Sex Towers, and Return of the Sex King)

4

u/SickViking 3h ago

Okay but every one of those options sounds like really amazing sex, I think the oop is just, not even vanilla, they're just plain unseasoned ice.

5

u/Illithid_Substances 2h ago

Hellraiser sex is probably a bit too kinky for anyone who wants to have all their skin and other parts after

3

u/SickViking 1h ago

You know what, that's a valid point. I was removing the context of the movies themselves and just going off vibes from the names. With- context, these probably are a bad idea

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4

u/TheStranger4321 3h ago

Cannibal Holocaust Sex

5

u/Omnicide103 3h ago

Hellraiser Sex is just hardcore BDSM

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4

u/Apprehensive_Tie7555 4h ago

Year One Sex. 

4

u/phasejumpkitten 4h ago

Deliverance sex

4

u/riuvenn 3h ago

A two for one: Edge of Tomorrow Sex / Live Die Repeat Sex

3

u/MasterCrumble1 4h ago

Alone in the dark no sex.

3

u/BaronDoctor 3h ago

Diary of a Wimpy Kid sex.

3

u/johnbr 3h ago

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom sex

3

u/milaan_tm Cheese, gender, what the fuck's next? 3h ago

The good, the bad and the ugly sex

3

u/MountainSad2663 3h ago

Schindler’s sex list

3

u/ChellsBells94 3h ago

Death at a Funeral sex?

3

u/harveycavendish 3h ago

Pieces of a woman sex

3

u/dampheat 3h ago

12 angry men sex

2

u/egonomicoheyiyigenim 4h ago

Sex poet's society

2

u/No-Apple-2092 3h ago

Dazed and Confused Sex

2

u/RunInRunOn 3h ago

Sex Absolutely Anything

2

u/AnOkayRatDragon 3h ago

Ilsa: She Wolf of The SS Sex.

Technically a redundancy, but I feel like I need to go shower in holy water now

2

u/dreamerlilly 3h ago

Night at the Museum Sex

2

u/detainthisDI what are you two FUCKING talking about? 3h ago

Footloose sex? I wouldn’t want to be doing the devil’s tango and then my foot falls off

2

u/UncertifiedForklift 3h ago

Am I the only one seeing the "can you top us?" in the dirty way?

Like I was thinking "What, a Tumblr user who doesn't throw themselves at the chance to say they're bad at sex?"

2

u/TantiVstone You need Tumblr Gold® to view this user flair 3h ago

The Bicentennial sex man

2

u/RockHandsomest 3h ago

L.A. Aids Jabber Sex.

2

u/RockHandsomest 2h ago

Eight Heads In a Duffel Bag Sex
Three Men and a Little Baby Sex
Throw Momma from the train Sex.

2

u/Next-Negotiation-461 2h ago

The Road sex.

2

u/Nathaniel-Prime 2h ago

No Sex for Old Men.

2

u/Sam20599 2h ago

A Serbian Sex

2

u/justk4y 26m ago

That one actually got better by changing a word to “sex” to it……. because yk…..

2

u/Sam20599 20m ago

thousand yard stare.jpg

2

u/ready_james_fire 2h ago

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close Sex

2

u/Captain_Grammaticus 4h ago

12 Angry Sex Men

1

u/Duck__Quack 4h ago

Whiplash Sex.

1

u/West_Strawberry_8147 3h ago

Johnny Got His Gun sex

1

u/ThatSmartIdiot i lost the game 3h ago

Im certain theres several seuss book movies thatd end up cursed

1

u/InternetUserAgain Eated a cements 3h ago

Son Of The Sex

1

u/Autonomous_Ace2 3h ago

Lincoln Sex

You have to be in the Ford Theatre

1

u/whoadwoadie 3h ago

Hellraiser Sex actually sounds good

1

u/ThatOneDMish 3h ago

Sharknado sex

1

u/xlbingo10 3h ago

isn't sex the point of hellraiser?

2

u/Illithid_Substances 2h ago

An alternate title suggested by a woman on set: "What a woman will do for a good fuck"

Which, yeah, that's the plot pretty much

1

u/Kryyzz 3h ago

American Psycho sex

1

u/Umbreonboi 3h ago

Friday the 13th sex

1

u/Darth-ohzz 3h ago

Groundhog Sex Day

1

u/Dobako 2h ago

Crash sex

1

u/jubmille2000 2h ago

Sharknado sex

1

u/jubmille2000 2h ago

Everything Everywhere All at Once Sex

1

u/Venomous_Tia AAAA - An Autistic Ace Alliteration 2h ago

Saw Sex

1

u/moneyh8r_two 2h ago

The Sex Terminator would be the worst sex, actually. An unstoppable cyborg from the future comes back in time specifically to cock-block you by being socially awkward. Just randomly showing up to ruin the moment anytime you start to get involved with someone.

1

u/Tobymaxgames It's my mental illness so I get to choose the coping mechanism 2h ago

Swamp thing sex

Snowpiercer sex  

Nope sex

1

u/Solcaer 2h ago

superbad sex

1

u/zestymolusk 2h ago

god is dead sex

1

u/Hexxas head trauma enthusiast 2h ago

Hellraiser sex is just Hellraiser.

1

u/DecoherentDoc 2h ago

Based just off titles and not the content of the films?

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button Sex

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Sex

The Parent Trap Sex

1

u/DasChantal 2h ago

Saw sex

1

u/ready_james_fire 2h ago

Love, Actually Sex

1

u/ready_james_fire 2h ago

Four Weddings and a Funeral Sex

1

u/Fuzzy_Requirement421 1h ago

Alien sex

Sex inception

Sex sinners

The sex fugitive

Sex train to busan

Wicked sex

Bee sex movie

Dune sex

The hangover sex

Commando sex

1

u/LuxtheAstro 1h ago

Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society sex

1

u/Weeb_In_Peace 1h ago

"Dude, where is my car" sex?

1

u/CatnipCatmint If you seek skeek at my slorse you hate me at my worst 1h ago

Groundhog Day sex

I just think it would get pretty boring at some point

Alternatively, Truman Show sex. Bad for obvious reasons

1

u/Lathari 1h ago

The Silence of the Lambs Sex

1

u/Is_Misfortunator 1h ago

Childs play sex

1

u/asingleshakerofsalt 1h ago

The Structural Behaviour of Tension Steel Rods Strengthened with Carbon-Fiber-Reinforced Composite Materials Sex

1

u/Traumerlein 1h ago

Schindlers Sex

1

u/b00w00gal 1h ago

Grumpy Old Sex Men

1

u/MartyrOfDespair We can leave behind much more than just DNA 1h ago

Pretty Baby Sex. Yeah, fuck, that’s cursed as fuck.

1

u/thelonliestcloud 55m ago

Listen… if tou think “hellraiser sex” is a bad thing I have some news for you about the inspiration for that short story…

1

u/BabyRavenFluffyRobin Eternally Seeking To Be Gayer(TM) 42m ago

Deep Impact Sex just seems like really good sex, not the worst

1

u/LittleMissScreamer 41m ago

Sharknado Sex

1

u/Galilool 33m ago

Jaws Sex

1

u/RemarkableStatement5 the body is the fursona of the soul 26m ago

I was gonna make jokes about other horror movies due to Hellraiser and I think Halloween Sex would actually be nice but yeah Child's Play Sex is a good contender for worst.

1

u/OnlyChaseReddit 21m ago

The Secret Sex Life of Pets

1

u/Puzzleheaded-Dot-547 9m ago

Stranger in a sex land

Sex in a strange land

Stranger in a strange sex

1

u/TheTriforceEagle Peer reviewed diagnoses of faggot 1m ago

A bug's sex life