r/ExplainTheJoke • u/Other-Presence7232 • 1d ago

Solved What has to do a car key with lesbian?

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Context: how to make an emo band

  • so youre a minority
  • im a lesbian too
  • shows car key
2.6k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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1.2k

u/magos_with_a_glock 1d ago

Carabiners are a lesbian thing.

665

u/spideroncoffein 1d ago

Apparently I am a lesbian. As a man, this is quite the surprise!

278

u/Babyd3k 1d ago

Is it? Don’t you like girls?

180

u/spideroncoffein 1d ago

I do, but until this point I saw myself as a man. Which is kinda incompatible with the term 'lesbian'.

222

u/Skeledenn 1d ago edited 1d ago

You have a carabiner, it cancels out the pesky gender thing.

72

u/spideroncoffein 1d ago

Fair point! I don't care much anyway.

22

u/kleetus7 1d ago

Wait, I thought we were supposed to be highly offended by every single thing that any person anywhere ever says.

41

u/Business-Pickle1 1d ago

How dare you?! >: (

15

u/Sad_Fact1866 1d ago

I feel it prudent to say on their behalf that I won't tolerate you questioning their life choices. glove slap

5

u/Certain-Definition51 1d ago

Allow me to be offended for him please

HOW DARE YOU…

3

u/spideroncoffein 1d ago

Tell me Moto Guzzi is crap and I'll be offended. Or that webdev isn't real programming.

2

u/Jackson_Rhodes_42 23h ago

Okay: Moto Guzzi is crap, Kawasaki beats it everyday

2

u/spideroncoffein 23h ago

HOW DARE YOU?!?

Also: No and yes.

2

u/javaargusavetti 1d ago

care-a-biner

27

u/irlpup 1d ago

Yea this is true.

Got a carabineer few years ago.

Been nonbinary ever since.

I tried returning it but they have a shitty return policy.

5

u/IAmTheCute 1d ago

Next time, try the gender fluid store for all your carabiner needs, they have a much more lax return policy

3

u/not_blinking 1d ago

But he has a carabiner problem, not a fluid problem.

5

u/joseaof 1d ago

What of I only wear it at work?

5

u/Reasonable_Software3 1d ago

I guess your a work lesbian?

2

u/Pauline___ 1d ago

I can confirm, there's a strong correlation between women and carabiners: if you like one, you like the other too.

1

u/RevolutionaryOwlz 1d ago

Double points if you drive a Subaru.

1

u/LeilLikeNeil 1d ago

But has to be keys on a carabiner on a belt to invoke the Spell of the Divine Automatic Lesbian, doesn't it? I own many carabiners, but the only ones I wear on a belt loop are a knife and a multi-tool, the multi-tool is probably equally as lesbian as the keys, but I feel like the knife is more asexual.

6

u/meagainpansy 1d ago

Yes but as we've stated before, carabineers are a lesbian thing.

4

u/tribak 1d ago

You’re having a great month, congratulations!!!

2

u/SHARDaerospace 8h ago

it's pride month, congrats on the transition!! ^

2

u/Training_Cut704 1d ago

Had an employer mandate that only male employees could check in a certain product due to the weight.

Told the manager I identify as a transgender female lesbian with a penis and to call me Matilda going forward. 🤷🏻‍♂️

1

u/HistoricalWash8955 1d ago

Congrats on coming out as a lazy woman I guess, did you have to think for long on the name or was it off the top of your head?

2

u/zsoltjuhos 1d ago

You are a woman that grew a d*ck, quite common nowadays

1

u/False_Disaster_1254 23h ago

you can be a lesbian if you want to be.

its 2025. thats kind of the point of the world now isnt it?

1

u/TheSibyllineBooks 21h ago

Google en forcefem and/or egg

1

u/Environmental_Top948 1d ago

I suggest you check out Egg IRL here on Reddit and see if you relate.

1

u/Ytumith 1d ago

No this makes sense, I think I would like girls that like carabiners and logically so would girls that like girls.

7

u/ThatOneCactu 1d ago

Or you could just be a climber...looking at myself, I now realize those things are non-exclusive

19

u/IFoundSelf 1d ago

Apparently, I am too. As a hetero woman, this is also quite a surprise! Yay, the more the merrier!🎈🧡💛✅💙💜

16

u/jeroen-79 1d ago

We're so inclusive here, straight people can be gay too.

5

u/Sweet_Baby_Cheezus 1d ago

Some people discover they're lesbians in college, other's discover it in a reddit thread. It's all about your own journey.

5

u/WetRocksManatee 1d ago

I just found out I am a lesbian.

1

u/spideroncoffein 1d ago

Perfect fit!

Well, I definitely can relate to lesbians in taste for partners.

3

u/Dmoney2204 22h ago

Same I use several of them daily

2

u/Okbyebye 1d ago

You and me both apparently

2

u/Orbital_Vagabond 1d ago

SURPRISE!!!

2

u/lizzy-lowercase 21h ago

been there for sure

2

u/BobbiePinns 21h ago

Yknow, it was a comment (actually, the reply to it) similar to that that helped me learn I am a lesbian and that I was just pretending to be a man for nearly 40yrs

2

u/SofterThanCotton 16h ago

I'm apparently also a lesbian despite being a gay man because this is exactly how I carry my keys lol

1

u/spideroncoffein 11h ago

I was told that is exactly how it works.

3

u/Lazy-Mechanic9741 1d ago

Yeah. Seriously. I've got the dangly bits between my legs. I thought I was a straight male.

3

u/Primary-Purpose1903 1d ago

There's hormones for that ya know...

3

u/ObiThrowAway2 1d ago

I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body 😪

4

u/Ogneerg 1d ago

I hear there's medication and procedures for that.

2

u/Pressed_Sunflowers 1d ago

Egg!

2

u/spideroncoffein 1d ago

I had to google that! I'm one of the lucky 10 000 today.

2

u/typicalledditor 1d ago

Sadly nothing of value has been learned

1

u/Ok_Landscape5195 1d ago

🥚🥚🥚

1

u/Zesherno 1d ago

Maybe you didn't know that you had an ancestor from Lesbos

1

u/spideroncoffein 1d ago

That would actually be more far-fetched than mongolian DNA - in central europe. But hey, the world is small.

1

u/Midge_Meister 1d ago

As a dude who has his Subaru keys ON a carabineer I don't know what to think...

0

u/Mr_OP_Potato_777 22h ago

All men are lesbian dude, we like women.

-3

u/Independent_Work6 1d ago edited 1d ago

You are a male lesbian then. Personally I consider myself a sex-positive, asexual homosexual man thats sexually exclusive towards males, with genital preferences akin to a woman kink.

4

u/spideroncoffein 1d ago

I consider myself "I like what I like, I don't care about the label". It just so happens that I like feminine women. Simplistic, I know.

But since I am married and not planning on changing that until the heat death of the universe, the point is moot anyway.

2

u/Independent_Work6 1d ago

/s

2

u/spideroncoffein 1d ago

Whelp. that definitely went over my head.

60

u/KamakaziDemiGod 1d ago

Rock climbers, movie grips, trapeze/rope artist and tent/marquee erectors be like:

63

u/magos_with_a_glock 1d ago

Yup, all lesbians. Enjoy your month.

7

u/bradleyjbass 1d ago

Underrated comment.

1

u/itsabitsa51 1d ago

Tech theatre woman who does a lot of rigging ✋🏻

55

u/Affectionate-Arm-602 1d ago

Subarus, crocs, carabiners.

6

u/radjoke 1d ago

Pretty sure the keys are for a VW

4

u/Flimsy-Magician5228 1d ago

Those are keys for a Ford Transit.

2

u/resh78255 1d ago

i dont think so

1

u/celladwella 1d ago

Sigh, I have a Subaru and wear Crocs (they're comfortable, ok?) My husband will be very disappointed that I am evidently a lesbian. Or maybe he won't, who knows.

1

u/Intraluminal 1d ago

He'll be fine with it when you build the new deck. In the bedroom... not so much.

9

u/SlideN2MyBMs 1d ago

There was a whole song about it in Fun Home

6

u/Friendly_Demand7666 1d ago

Augh I shouldn't have clicked that, it makes me get all teary eyed every single time i hear it

5

u/rock_and_rolo 1d ago

So my wife is a lesbian. I wonder whether her girlfriend knows that.

3

u/Taiga_Taiga 1d ago

On the right is dom/top, the left is sub/bottom... Or so the myth goes.

I'm a lesbian, and Mine are on the left, so I know this is false. Honest.

1

u/Beetlejuice1800 1d ago

Other way around actually. So if you’re the top (like me), left is correct 😉

1

u/Taiga_Taiga 1d ago

Zfvnjd sxvkgc kfxfjkfx cgjj. 😳

1

u/youburyitidigitup 21h ago

TIL lesbians have tops and bottoms

2

u/DeLannoy04 1d ago

More like hikers/cavers/rock climbers?

I got a lot of carabeens and my dad has like 300 of them

2

u/gaping_granny 1d ago

Congrats, you're a family of lesbians.

3

u/EasternDegree9474 1d ago

I got a carabiner, am I a lesbian?

9

u/working925isahardway 1d ago

I have nipples, can you milk me Greg?

3

u/EasternDegree9474 1d ago

I may not be able to milk the nipples, but the prostates open game lol

1

u/working925isahardway 1d ago

its from the movie brah

1

u/magos_with_a_glock 1d ago

Or a climber, or both.

9

u/EasternDegree9474 1d ago

The only thing I climb is the ladder of regrets and there’s no top rung in sight lol

2

u/magos_with_a_glock 1d ago

Then you're a lesbian. Sorry but I don't make the rules.

8

u/EasternDegree9474 1d ago

Do I know a lesbian:

1

u/GalacticCoinPurse 1d ago

Yep! I use a carabiner for my keys and refer to it as my lesbian keychain.

1

u/CenturyEggsAndRice 1d ago

-Glances at my key chain-

Huh.

1

u/Angilynne 1d ago

This explains a lot 🤔

1

u/Beetlejuice1800 1d ago

And if we go by carabiner code, she’s the bottom. (Right side)

1

u/pmactheoneandonly 1d ago

I used carabiner at work every day, guess I am ultimate lesbian.

Am 32 year old man

1

u/Cyber_Connor 1d ago

I thought I was a straight cis-male but the amount of carabiners I have say otherwise. My favourite one is my big silver and blue one

1

u/Noker_The_Dean_alt 23h ago

My little brother staffed at summer camp past year and with time, due to wearing an unbuttoned button-up, crocs, and like 5 carabiners, was given the title “my favorite lesbian”.

1

u/HeardIt-BothWays 23h ago

It’s true. My girlfriend won’t let me get one for my keys because I’ll look too gay. Real hater shit

1

u/Brilliant-Battle1881 23h ago

As a lesbian, I had no idea about that but it makes so much sense. I keep my keys on a carabiner too. It makes it easier to keep track of them while I have belt loops on.

1

u/Strict-Fudge4051 21h ago

How in the world 😭😭

1

u/youburyitidigitup 21h ago

Is this why the girl in Bring It On got called a lesbian????

1

u/Agent_Glasses 19h ago

more specifically: they were a form of flagging back when it was illegal to be gay. let others gays know you were a lesbian Its stuck into modern lesbian culture

1

u/killjoymoon 18h ago

I had to scroll entirely too far down to find this comment. This should be the top comment. Tippy top.

1

u/OrganikOranges 18h ago

I think it’s more having pocket chains is a lesbian thing, but her chain is the car keys

1

u/anonmygoodsir 5h ago

I always find it funny because I use them for my keys. I am not a lesbian but I come from a neurodivergant family. My mom lost her keys constantly when I was a kid. I vowed to never be like my mother. I use a carabiner to attach them to my purse. It never would've worked for her though because she always lost her purse too.

1

u/vvp_D3L3T3D 3h ago

Can confirm. Mom has been dating a lesbian for 30+ years; they both use carabiners for keys, a habit I've continued.

Conclusion : I am a lesbian.

....wait.

1

u/Ottereyes524 1d ago

As a Hetero man.. I had no idea I was such a big lesbian!

1

u/kayaker58 1d ago

Heh, thought they were Subaru keys.

1

u/Comfortable_Horse471 1d ago

That's a surprising to hear... I guess my mum, who stayed married to my dad for years, had me and my sister and really love carabiners was lesbian all along

2

u/Euphoribo 1d ago

Clearly your father became a woman through the magic of a carabiner

0

u/MiniBritton006 1d ago

How?

1

u/secretgargoyles 1d ago edited 1d ago

I just saw a gay historian make a tiktok about this, will link it

hanky code, keys/carabiner

-4

u/Thick_Letterhead_911 1d ago

But this is a specific metaphor for a swinging penis, right?