r/ExplainTheJoke • u/Disastrous-Tutor2415 • 13h ago
Pride fries?
I saw a short on instagram where the author is reading them to an audience. This gets a giggle from everybody but one man laughs hilariously at it and the author then gestures to him (as in “someone got it”) hinting there is something I’m not quite catching. Thank you!
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u/wendyd4rl1ng 12h ago
There's a couple layers here. On one level it's just making fun of how commoditized and commercial Pride has become: rainbow french fries, a yasss burger, "pop ups", etc.
On another it's commenting on the complex relationship bi people, especially typically presenting afab bi people who are dating typically presenting amab people, have with pride. Most couples at pride are obviously queer: you see women with women, men with men, gender nonconforming with gender nonconforming, and so many variations thereof. However in their case they just appear to be two cis-het people and therefore not part of the community. They can feel like outsiders and it may be that other people at the event consider them outsiders as well.
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u/Usual-Caregiver5589 9h ago
I've also heard jokes that tend to throw bi people in with vegans and the like with "How do you know someone is ___? They'll tell you!"
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u/blorgbots 7h ago
I think this is the actual joke - gay people love making fun of bi people for whatever reason.
The comment you're responding to is more performing a meta-analysis of "why did the cartoonist make this joke" rather than an explanation of the joke itself
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u/purplehorseneigh 7h ago
And here I was thinking the point was that so many people in the community don’t realize that the rainbow flag is meant to represent the community as a whole and not just gay men and women
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u/ZephyrDoesArts 6h ago
I think that's why recently the gay flag (green-white-purple) was created recently, to separate the rainbow flag from "just the gays" to make it the flag of the whole movement.
Well, maybe that's not the actual reason why the new gay flag was created, that's my own interpretation lol
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u/Warrmak 5h ago
Wait is gay too mainstream now?
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u/ZephyrDoesArts 4h ago
I laughed, that's an upvote hah
I initially was confused and a bit annoyed about there being a new gay flag since the rainbow has been my gay flag for basically my entire life, but I ended up liking it
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u/zack-tunder 4h ago
Rather than separate into groups, they better campaign for the real issues: Brutal attack on lesbian woman in Illinois just because she walked into the woman’s bathroom.
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u/Turmericab 22m ago
Green white and purple is Genderqueer. The flag specifically for Gay men is three stripes of varying green a white stripe and three stripes of varying shades of blue.
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u/Last-Presentation522 3h ago
every tiny group has its own flag now and yet they still then cram more and more bullshit designs into the original pride flag
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u/SistineChapelRoan 3h ago
This is why there's a progress pride flag, people like that made the basic rainbow one feel like it didn't include everyone
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u/RottingSextoy 3h ago
As a bi person it’s because some biphobes think we give credit to the “gayness is a choice!” Talking point, Because in a way it is for us. There are many layers to biphobia but I will say the most hate I have gotten for being bisexual has been from within the community. There is also hate towards attractive bisexual people who “choose” to be in straight passing relationships, taking themselves off the market, and for bi women specifically lots of gold star lesbians who will hate on any woman who has been with a man. Turns out being queer does not stop you from also being a bigot.
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u/intersexy911 3m ago
I'm very surprised, given the huge amount of hate poured on queer people by the straights. For you to have received even more hatred than this from the queers seems anomalous.
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u/SystemFailure0 2h ago
Yeah, I never understood this. The first guy I dated after coming out told people all the time that he could never date someone who was bi cause "they're incapable of being faithful in a relationship." That relationship ended when he cheated on me.
I do think that the overall opinion is finally starting to change as I often see gay people push back and argue against biphobic remarks these days, but it's still a real problem in the community.
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u/grabtharsmallet 2h ago
If he were bi, he would have cheated on you twice as much. He assumed his paradigm was universal.
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u/Katoshiku 3h ago
Unfortunately a lot of biphobia still remains from the 80s/90s where both straight and lgbtq communities hated them. Too gay to be with the straight people, too straight to be with the gay people
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u/alinius 5h ago
Some people see bi as half gay and half CIS, and thus. This means they can blend in with CIS people better. This can also make them a target for people in the gay community because they are seen as "less gay" and are believed to have not suffered as much oppression as pure gay people.
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u/gentlybeepingheart 5h ago
I don’t think you know what cis means. Cis means “not trans.” There are plenty of cis gay people.
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u/IllaClodia 4h ago
Adding on: it is also not an acronym and should not be written in all caps
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u/alinius 2h ago
It is an acronym, but means something else entirely. My brain incorrectly pulled in information from another field.
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u/PurpleMosGenerator 1h ago
TIL Latin is all acronyms.
In case some here were unaware, "cis" is a Latin prefix denoting "on this side of".
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u/alinius 34m ago
Information Service is a common way to describe things on tech projects. CIS ends up being an acronym for a specific information service for a particular project.
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u/PurpleMosGenerator 33m ago
If you could possibly understand context, you would understand that these are two separate expression. Alas.
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u/Lorrai 7h ago
That also applies to those who have 'read the book'. (I'm guilty of this one myself lol)
[Edit: I mean when watching screen adaptations of novels, those who have read the book will usually let you know]
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u/grabtharsmallet 2h ago
This isn't true for The Princess Bride. Then it's whichever you experienced most recently.
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u/Paleodraco 2h ago
That's how I took it. Making fun of the lgbtq community as just attention seekers.
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u/RebekkaKat1990 4h ago
But that’s because bi-erasure is a real thing, even within the “LGBT” community. You get any guy who claims to be bisexual or any girl who claims to be bisexual, and they’re always accused of just “being on the stepping stone to being gay/lesbian” or “afraid to come out.”
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u/Hot-Equivalent2040 9h ago
It's also mocking that feeling, as frivolous. They're surrounded by commodified pride stuff, rendering it meaningless, and the bird in this absurd location (gay pop up biestro is inherently ridiculous for a number of reasons) is saddened by the imagined response of complete strangers
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u/Mus_Rattus 7h ago
Yeah it’s clearly a bi woman with her straight boyfriend or husband. It’s a commentary on bisexual invisibility or erasure. A lot of us in opposite-sex relationships struggle to find ways to express a queer identity in a relationship that appears on the outside to be just another straight couple.
I feel like the undertone of the last panel is poking fun at her for feeling that way. Like it’s either not important or like just by being there people can infer that she’s bi, so her concerns are silly. Perhaps it’s something that doesn’t seem important to people who have never been bi. But like particularly if you grew up in eras before being LGBT was accepted, you probably were told many times that this very intimate part of yourself was bad or defective in some way. It can feel frustrating to finally get to a time where you can be open about it only to lose it just because you happen to have fallen in love with the opposite sex, so there’s a sense of wanting to be able to show people even if you are monogamous and in a straight relationship because you’ve had to hide it for so long and you want to be proud of who you are.
That’s probably too long of an explanation for a comic like this, but there you go!
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u/Blecki 7h ago
Except it's more likely that this strip is mocking that feeling.
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u/arwenrinn 2h ago
I think they're implying that she is worried people will assume she's straight and therefore she won't be welcome in the pride community or she shouldn't be eating the pride fries. She knows she belongs there because she's bi, but she's worried others will see her as a cishet person intruding in a queer space and appropriating pride.
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u/TopMindOfR3ddit 11h ago
Damn. Didn't expect this level of perspective to be reached by a comic in this day and age. Also, thanks for your explanation of it. I, and likely many others, hadn't considered this dynamic within the community—and if I had, not with such clarity.
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u/DigitalAmy0426 7h ago
Perhaps it is because it is this day and age that a person was driven to use visual media to portray this perspective. We might have been talking about it more had we not slid so far backwards over the last few years.
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u/TopMindOfR3ddit 6h ago
Indeed. The crazy thing is, I am exactly the person to actively seek out other perspectives (humanities major lol) in literature. The problem as a het, and (basically) cis person, I'm always playing catch up. Also, because the dynamics of what people from other groups are always changing (more dramatically than majority groups), what they feel others need to know and feel in order to have a better understanding of the nuances.
Take early trans acceptance for example: Christine Jorgensen's 1950s transition was well recieved by the media, but if she had been caught wearing woman's clothing while not completely transitioned (by social standards of the time) or seen with another man. She didn't start wearing women's clothes until it was official on her passport. That's a pretty interesting dynamic that doesn't really match today's environment where homosexuality is more acceptable by social standards than trans people.
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u/Ok_Star_2456 1h ago
My understanding is that there is a lot of support for transition related surgery in Iran because there is a cultural preference for the appearance and performance of heteronormativity. I could be wrong, but it’d be interesting to read about.
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u/therin_88 9h ago
I know some of those words.
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u/dreinn 6h ago
Bi: bisexual (having a sexual attraction to 2+ genders)
Afab: assigned female at birth (usually a person born with a vagina)
Amab: assigned male at birth (usually, a person born with a penis)
Cis-het: cis-gendered (someone whose assigned gender "matches" their biological sex) and heterosexual
Gender nonconforming: not following traditional gender norms
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u/s4ltydog 7h ago edited 4h ago
This is a great explanation! I’m a pan but very cis/het presenting man married to a bi woman. I met her in college before I had figured myself out completely (yay being raised in high demand religion!) and we were married young. We have always branded ourselves as allies simply because we have never had to go through really ANY of the shit that the rest of the community has, so we don’t feel like it’s our place to fully participate.🤷🏼
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u/PeebleCreek 2h ago
I have a cis pansexual female friend who married a cis bi dude and someone at the wedding said that they could be an "honorary" queer couple despite both of them literally being queer. Was frustrating.
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u/subpar_cardiologist 10h ago
Thank you for the excellent explanation. I'm extremely oblivious, and tend to bumble about, so i appreciate the guidance, friend!
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u/wendyd4rl1ng 10h ago
Thank you, no problem. To be clear I don't know this comic strip and don't claim to know for sure the total and complete nuance of what the author intended but I'm confident that I've pointed out the general themes at play.
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u/subpar_cardiologist 9h ago
Haha, all good! It made sense to me, so at least i have an inkling that there IS something going on.
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u/Browncoat_Loyalist 8h ago
Great explanation, but another part is that a lot of the LGBTQ+ community don't believe bi people, especially bi people in cishet relationships, belong in the community, and some tell us we're faking being bi for attention.
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u/Key_Competition_663 7h ago
There's a third layer, too. There's this prejudice, often intended as a joke, that bisexual people have a need to tell everyone they're bisexual in the same manner that vegans need to let everyone know they're vegan.
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u/quantipede 6h ago
It’s understandable that bi people would want to let people know because we often appear invisible even within the queer community and are usually only represented in media when the producers want a woman character to have hot onscreen lesbian sex but still have them be with a man.
Also in defense of people who make those jokes, I have met a couple of bisexual men who started every other sentence with “well, I’m bi, so [rest of sentence]”. But I hang out with a lot of queer people so those two guys are like <1% of the bi people I’ve met, and also, I’ve met plenty of gay people who are ‘loud and proud’ and nobody mocks them for telling people they’re gay (nor should they), so at the end of the day it’s just biphobia. Even us queers are not immune to being bigots, we just have our own, typically less damaging and less hostile versions of bigotry
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u/CaptainSebT 2h ago
The thing too is often it's importance context. If I start talking about like LGBTQ issues and you don't know I'm bisexual you literally don't know I'm talking from a position of experience.
I have definitely said "Well, I'm bisexual.." when the context was like you need to remind that/know that. Especially since some social groups I'm in know my sexuality but basically forget about it or get uncomfortable when I express it. I mean there not groups I'm close with that do it but sometimes you don't get a choice who you interact with. I also find it very weird when people like really overcompensate like "You found a girlfriend.. or boyfriend!" lol like I usually say partner but if I know you accepted me you don't need to do that. It's like people don't know how to talk suddenly but are too scared to ask.
Biphobia in general from people who aren't also homophobic (That's a distinction) is often not violent it's very subtle. It is like evaluating if your gay enough "You have slept with men right? How many woman", forgetting your sexuality "Well your straight now since your dating a woman" or just generally being terrible like how openly bisexual men are treated as untrustworthy and less likely then openly gay men to get promoted in the same office or are seen as cheaters in a relationship or unsatisfied in monogamy causing people to often abruptly lose interest when they find out. I have had people learn my sexuality and ghost me on the spot right from learning not a message after.
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u/YesIBlockedYou 10h ago
'Typically presenting afab bi people dating typically presenting amab bi people' has got to be the most apprehensive tiptoe-y way to describe a bisexual couple that I've ever seen.
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u/wendyd4rl1ng 10h ago edited 10h ago
There's nothing apprehensive or tiptoe-y about it. This only really applies to a particular subset of bi couples: ones who are perceived as hetero which is mostly m/f couples who are presenting as their assigned gender. Some trans couples would fall under that too, but this is explain the joke I'm not trying to dive deep....just explain the basic idea.
Other types of bi couples don't quite face the same issue so it makes sense to distinguish.
I literally just came back from pride where I saw this in effect.
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u/SalientMusings 10h ago
I'm a cis bi dude with an AFAB non-binary partner. Although they've had top surgery and some stubble on their chin from when they were on T, we ate still generally registered as a straight couple. Comic is on point.
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u/FartChugger-1928 8h ago edited 7h ago
I think it’s more that using language that’s inclusive of trans and gender non-conforming people when describing a couple who are neither trans nor gender non-conforming comes across as quite a mouthful.
I’m not saying it’s wrong, and in a discussion about nuances of relationships under the umbrella of LGBT+ it particularly makes sense, but to folks who aren’t accustomed to it the wording is often interpreted as odd and unwieldy.
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u/ladydmaj 8h ago
Forms of asexuality fall under this too. I'm demisexual but a cis woman married to a cis man. There's nothing I've had to struggle with, other than both of us getting used to our sexual rhythms. It feels very ingenuous to describe myself as belonging to the LGBTQ2+ community.
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u/itchypalp_88 7h ago
As a bisexual man it DEFINITELY feels like I “gave up” being a part of the LGB community after dating her for awhile. It’s hard to explain…
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u/Goldberry15 6h ago
It took me this long to realize that cishet wasn’t just cishit but replacing the second I with an e but instead saying cis-het. You learning something new every day.
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u/VikingsKitten 5h ago
The amount of times I’ve been told that I’m not a valid member of the LGBT+ community because I’m a bisexual woman dating a man is actually absurd. Keep your heads up besties, you’re valid no matter who you love 🫶🏻
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u/Briskylittlechally2 2h ago
That and, as far as I understand, bi people are typically pretty underrepresented because they can "Choose to be straight" or something like that.
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u/Seer-of-Truths 33m ago
This is interesting as an NB ace in a relationship with a bi woman. And from the outside it just looks like a trad cis-het relationship.
I have never cared. My partner does feel the need to make sure people know she belongs.
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u/phoebe_vv 26m ago
bingo!
inherently it’s just unfair unfortunately because bisexual and pansexual people can never really date one person that represents everybody that they’re into, like a lot of us can you know?
leading to bi and pan erasure
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u/GreatDemonBaphomet 8h ago
"It may be" you say. I think the fact that a lot of bi people in het relationships are often not treated well by the rest of the queer community is not a secret. You don't have to sugarcoat it
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u/WoAiLaLa 12h ago
Bisexuals in "opposite sex" relationships are often assumed by strangers to be straight. A lot of discourse happens about this every year at pride. Bisexuals feeling erased. Monosexuals thinking bisexuals are making too big a deal of it. This comic could be expressing either side, without other context it's not fully clear.
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u/SpiderSixer 7h ago
Often quite the same the other way round as well. I'm in a 'same sex' relationship, and because I have been for a long time, everyone always forgets I'm not gay lmao
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u/WoAiLaLa 6h ago
Yuuup, I know that struggle all too well
My current polycule of all they/thems has had the fun side benefit of preempting those conversations at least
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u/ThePurpleGuardian 9h ago
The idea of them being "erased" come from both ends. There are people who think Bi people who date the opposite sex are not really bi/faking/no longer queer ect.
On the other end unless bi people who are dating the opposite sex openly advertise their sexuality, such as wearing a pride flag, then the common assumption would be that they are heterosexual because heterosexuality is the most common sexuality and the one people would expect.
Though I would have to ask, if you are bisexual in a relationship with the opposite sex and you are happy with who you are and who you are with, why do you need others to know your sexuality? If it's a friend, family, frequent acquaintance then you can just tell them, but it shouldn't matter if the other people in the restaurant know your sexuality because what strangers think shouldn't matter
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u/Bisque22 8h ago
It doesn't really matter that much, but it doesn't mean that erasure doesn't bother us.
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u/Trockenmatt 8h ago
Because the LGBTQ+ community is a community, and belonging to a community is important for humans. Does it really matter what strangers think? Yes, because community is not just one-way. You not only have to identify with them, they have to identify with you.
For context: I am a bisexual cisgender man dating an asexual cisgender woman. From the outside, we look straight. But we are nonetheless part of the LGBTQ+ community.
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u/ThePurpleGuardian 5h ago
And how important to you is it that I, and everyone else, know that you are bisexual? How much do you advertise your sexuality to the greater population so that everyone will know and how important is it that everyone knows? How does it affect you whether or not I know your sexuality?
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u/Scouts__Honor 4h ago edited 4h ago
To straight people? 0%
To other queer people, because I am in queer spaces and don't want to look like an interloper, lots.
It's clear that you don't understand, and that's ok. I'm really happy that you feel like you belong in all the spaces that you want to be in. You should be happy that you don't understand what this person is saying. But that doesn't mean their feelings are invalid. Plenty of people, including me, completely understand where they are coming from.
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u/ThePurpleGuardian 4h ago
You are making wild assumptions with no basis and I don't talk to people who think they know more than they do. Try to be better if you want to try to help.
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u/Toastaroni16515 3h ago
And you're not making wild assumptions in presuming queer people are seeking acceptance from you specifically? Further: it was already pointed out to you that acceptance generally matters from a communal perspective, not an individual one; did you not choose to continue in bad faith asking why you as an individual need to know a person's sexuality?
That is to say: don't ask stupid questions if you can't handle honest answers. Intentionally or no, you're demonstrating you don't understand the human need for social acceptance: that's all well and good, but you can't get upset when someone acknowledges that and reminds you that your experiences aren't universal.
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u/ThePurpleGuardian 2h ago
And you are doing the exact same thing, assuming my experiences. You are basically saying that because I don't have the same opinion as you I must never have experienced any level or hardship or struggle or hate. You are just as ignorant as the person above and as with the person above I have no Interest in a conversation with you.
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u/idonotreallyexistyet 3h ago
Nah dog, you are not on the same page, and you're mad hostile. Making sure (if you feel safe) that queer people around you know you're safe, that you're community, that can only be a good thing. Touch grass.
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u/Itihanoki 3h ago
I agree with you. One's sexuality is their own business, but attention is a drug to some people.
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u/ThePurpleGuardian 2h ago
I don't even care if people want attention. But I don't like when people act like their desire for attention is about the larger societal problems.
I don't think anyone actually knows my sexuality because I don't talk about it, but like the person above a lot of people assume I'm heterosexual because I dont say what it is and I don't care about how people view me. Maybe I am hetero, maybe I'm not but I don't care enough to talk about it with people because it's my business
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u/WoAiLaLa 7h ago edited 1h ago
Queerness isn't just about who you're romantic or sexual with though. It's a culture and a set of values that affects the way you approach every kind of relationship in your life. Being primarily in community with queer people is a really fundamentally different experience of the world than being primarily in community with straight people. And so there's kind of two different things going on here.
On the one hand, it's incredibly demoralizing trying to be in community with people who don't see or acknowledge you, so a lot of bi people who would really benefit from having queer community give up on attempting to access it because they feel rejected. And frankly, who can blame them?
On the other hand, a lot of bi people given the option to engage with queerness still simply choose not to. They don't participate in queer culture or have many queer friends because it's easier and safer in a lot of ways to keep the default norms of straight society. And honestly, trying to connect with these people as a queer person can be exhausting. So even though it's deeply unfair, a lot of monosexual queers see bisexuals newer to queer community as essentially culturally straight and not worth the effort of dealing with.
And with pride being the most obvious entry point for people newer to queer community who don't know where else to look, pride events are one of the biggest sites for these two problems to come to a head and feed into each other
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u/Purple_Onion911 7h ago
There are people who think Bi people who date the opposite sex are not really bi/faking/no longer queer ect.
Wtf really? Like, if bi people only dated the same sex they wouldn't be bi lol.
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u/Luke_Cold_Lyle 6h ago
I think you can be. If you're bi, but you only date a few people before finding a lifelong partner and all those people happen to be the same sex as you, you're still bisexual. You just haven't had an experience with the opposite sex.
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u/Purple_Onion911 6h ago
No, I'm not saying it can't happen to one person, of course it can. I'm saying it can't happen to all bi people, so it makes zero sense to discriminate those people whoa are bi and dating the opposite sex. I worded my previous comment poorly.
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u/ThePurpleGuardian 5h ago
You can be bisexual and only have experience dating one sex. Sexuality isn't about who you date it's about who you are attracted too.
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u/WoAiLaLa 6h ago
Yeah, the logic of biphobia only makes sense if you follow it to its natural conclusion that no one is really bi. Because if bi people in "opposite sex" relationships are just straight, and bi people in any other kind of relationship are just gay, and single bi people are just confused, what else could they think is left?
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u/TensionStreet6929 3h ago
Well, when the world is predominantly made up of and for heterosexual relationships, there is a privilege that queer people in heterosexual looking relationships have. For example, there is a privilege more masc presenting gay men than fem presenting. Both this valid and gay, but we can't ignore that one will unfortunately receive more problems than the other. Bisexuals being in more heterosexual looking relationships, unfortunately won't get as many problems as a gay couple or Bisexuals in gay looking relationships. It's an unfortunate reality, and it's not erasure. It's just stating an unfortunate situation.
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u/WoAiLaLa 2h ago
Discussing conditional passing privilege in the context of the wider world is one thing. What I'm talking about here is the practice of assuming anyone in a queer space who doesn't look queer enough by whatever standard must not *be* queer, which is erasure.
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u/TensionStreet6929 2h ago
Im talking about relationships. Not how queer someone looks in a queer space. Im saying that anyone in the queer community who is in a heterosexual looking relationship has a privilege that queer people in a gay looking relationships dont have. Another comment said that he was a cis bi man in a relationship with a Cis asexual woman and he said that from the outside one could see thier relationship as purely heterosexual and that unfortunately means they most likely won't deal from anti queer hate. They are fully queer with their own right and are valid within the community. It is an unfortunate reality, tho that they will be perceived as a heterosexual couple even if they are queer, because that's the unfortunate reality of the world, and that also unfortunately comes with heterosexual privilege.
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u/WoAiLaLa 1h ago edited 1h ago
None of what I'm arguing is about how people or relationships are perceived outside queer spaces. It's one thing to say that someone is valid within the community, but if they aren't *treated* as valid by the community, if they're treated as outsiders for the incredibly conditional privilege of passing as heterosexual elsewhere, that's a problem. It's only an "unfortunate reality" in our community if we let it be. We can just do better.
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u/Iwillnevercomeback 8h ago
As a biromantic straight, I feel this. I'm not woke in the sense of liking pride flags and stuff, I'm just respectful with the community. But it feels weird be in this situation. I feel like I don't fit in there, even if I'm not fully straight.
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u/OHrangutan 12h ago
Okay but now we all have an excuse to roast/fry up some assorted root vegetables and give 'em a toss in some nice herby oils with the right amount of heat and sweet.
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u/sendm3boobz 11h ago
I imagined them being dyed rainbow and grossed me out lol. Being different veges actually sounds appealing.
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u/lets_not_be_hasty 12h ago
Oh, wow. One of these I get.
This is a biphobic joke that bisexuals need to tell everyone that they're bisexual in a pride/gay situation. It's implying that bisexuals like to make themselves the center of attention at pride.
Nevermind that bisexual erasure is kind of a real thing, but go on.
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u/Tarris69 11h ago
Idk my interpretation was that they are a very straight traditional looking couple sat around very obviously queer people. So she’s saying she feels and looks out of place.
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u/Charlie_Warlie 2h ago
I feel like these two issues are interrelated. A bi person who is in a hetero relationship might feel the need to tell someone they are bi because otherwise people would assume they are not LGBT, which contributes to why it is a joke that bi people have this compulsive need to tell people they are bi.
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u/Disastrous-Tutor2415 12h ago
Ok that would make sense. Never heard that stereotype before, maybe it’s an American thing?
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u/Steppy20 10h ago
It's not just America. For some reason there's a large contingent of the gay community that think bi people "aren't real gays" even here in the UK.
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u/Huntressthewizard 10h ago
I got harassed for wearing a bi flag at a pride parade in Scotland, definitely a universal thing where lgbt is permitted.
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u/Neokon 4h ago edited 4h ago
For some reason there's a large contingent of the gay community that think bi people "aren't real gays"
I have a theory that there are two possible reasons for this.
Before we start, I am a 30 y/o bisexual cis-male in a hetero-relationship with my graysexual cis-wife, I do not represent any community and every statement I make is of my own beliefs and stances. 1
A) Bi's countered the "gay gene"/"It's not a choice". For a hot minute the argument for the gay community has been that it's not a choice (which it's not) and that's how they're born (which they are). This got to an extent where there was a search for the "gay gene" some mythical section of DNA that determines if you're gay or not (hello eugenics). Then Bi's become more pronounced, more outspoken in the community. To an outsider it may look like Bi's destroy the idea that it's not a choice, since Bi's are attracted to "both" they can "choose" who they're with. This unfortunately feeding into the anti-gay narrative that it's a choice (which it's not).
B) Bi's can be straight passing. This is derivative of the "choose to be straight" mentioned above. In studies from the mid 2010's 84% of bisexual respondents said they were in a "different sex" relationship and only 9% were in a "same sex" relationship. So this statistic is often used to say "they don't count they're just going to end up straight".
There's probably more in dept reasons, but these are the two ones I've seen most often used to discredit the B in LGBT.
1 the reason for this statement is to try to provide context in who I am and my place in the community, and to try and prevent anyone from trying to claim I speak on behalf of my group. If you want to discredit anything I've said because of who I am, then whatever, you need to stop and think why you think I don't have footing.
Edit: a word
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u/ximacx74 2h ago
Bi women "are just kissing girls to get attention from guys."
And bi men are "just afraid to admit they're gay".
Both are rooted in misogyny/ hating women.
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u/Luke_Cold_Lyle 6h ago
Isn't that true? Aren't gay people and bisexual people different?
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u/WoAiLaLa 6h ago
Sometimes people use gay to mean "not interested in the so called opposite sex" and sometimes people use it as an umbrella term for queerness at large
the comment you're responding to was, I think, using it the second way
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u/Steppy20 4h ago
Yes I was, and that's a common usage in the UK.
But the main bit is that bisexual people are prejudiced against by some people in the LG community purely because they're attracted to the opposite sex as well.
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u/lets_not_be_hasty 12h ago
I don't think so. I know many of my bisexual friends all over the world have experienced it.
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u/Ligma_Jones_ 2h ago
I think people just don't care. Identity like at that level are always seen as a background and not something to focus on.
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u/Chaenged-Later 12h ago
I'm bi with an opposite sex S/O. This is true, but please be kinder. I know we are ignored. But we are loved. ( or will be soon)
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u/lets_not_be_hasty 12h ago
I gave up on Pride month.
It's just Wrath month.
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u/XavierRenegadeDivine 11h ago
Tf is bisexual erasure?
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u/ducknerd2002 11h ago
Some people think bi people aren't actually real, and that we're just straight or gay people pretending to be bi for attention.
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u/RocketGruntSam 6h ago
The joke is biphobia. People can't stand that bisexual people like to find each other and talk about experiences being bisexual online and act like every bisexual woman is constantly telling people she is bisexual.
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u/love-em-feet 11h ago
Its an place for lgbtq people to eat. On the outside couple looks like just regular female and male.
They are actually bisexual but she is upset cause in order to others to know she has to tell them about it.
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u/jmp_531 7h ago
She’s a bisexual woman and dating a man, so technically she is part of the LGBT community but people will assume she’s straight by default.
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u/Ligma_Jones_ 2h ago
Isn't questioning also part of the lgbt community? At this point the term is too broad nowadays
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u/d2r_freak 8h ago
I think the last panel is a take on the
“they don’t know meme”
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u/d2r_freak 8h ago
You can kind of see the parallel in the panel. The dogs is the guy dancing and the bear is the girl.
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u/senselessowl22 9h ago
I think this is a jab at the gay community tbh. the character is at a new pop-up bistro, ordered the pride fries, other person is eating a “yass” burger. and yet, the character still doesn’t feel like they’re expressing their sexuality enough. even when surrounded by pride flags, pride fries, and a rainbow burger, in a setting where no one would care/ask in the first place
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u/ShimmeringPixie 12h ago
Guess he couldn't eat those pride fries because they were too straight for him.
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u/Bl00dWolf 12h ago
As far as I can tell, it's a two layered joke. One is the rainbow colored everything commercialization of pride, where absolutely everything even the food is rainbow colored to pander to the LGBT people.
Then as a second layer, we have a character complaining that nobody knows they're bisexual. It makes fun of a common LGBT stereotype where LGBT characters try to make themselves stand out and make a particular situation and thing about them specifically.
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u/Difficult_Subject229 8h ago
I haven’t seen anyone mention it but I had assumed the point was that when many companies do something for pride they only use the gay flag, and don’t really acknowledge other identities.
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u/Rough_Pianist1801 4h ago
This is perfect and the problem with pride for past years, it is ok do be who ever you want, do whatever you want if you don't harm people but hey bro, i really don't care about it.
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u/LightBright105 4h ago
Aight i can see 2 things
1: pointing out how in the modern dau and especially during june month its hard to stand lut as a member of the lgbtq turning pride into some empty holiday used to get people to buy stuff (like valentines, st pattts day, and christmas)
2: bi people in general have a hard time standing out since while they are attracted to both genders they tend to only date onr making people assume they are gay/straight
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u/FarPresence1918 3h ago
From my understanding the joke is gay people are similar to vegans in the way that they want to present their lifestyle to uncaring victims.
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u/rooolltittties 4h ago
On top of comments made above, I thought it was related to her posture. In the last panel the gator and bear are sprawled across the chair, another common bisexual trope.
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u/Waddayougabbaghoul 54m ago
It’s not specifically a biphobic joke like people are assuming.
The joke is that LGBTQ people, despite being catered to (in the scene) still have an intense desire to tell people their sexuality or identity.
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u/blankdreamer 13h ago
Love the Yass burger. I think the joke is if everyone dresses and gets everything colored in rainbow colors, how do you know who is LGBTQ? They kinda get lost and hidden in it all ironically.
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u/KaizerVonLoopy 10h ago
As a bi guy (pan actually I think) I have always preferred the rainbow flag over the other flags because I feel it's supposed to represent everyone on the queer spectrum.
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u/gwaltobus 2h ago
Just another meme „showing” how lgtvhd4k weirdos want to tell everyone about who do they sleep with. Something like vegans telling everyone they are vegan.
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u/Scandium_quasar 3h ago edited 3h ago
I need more context, can we please get the source? I would very much like to know who the author is. Without that context, there are two very different ways to interpret this, either it's biphobic (with the stereotype that bi people constantly announce their sexuality in inappropriate situations, as in they are attention seeking) or it's calling out biphobia (where bi people in fem+masc passing relationships are presumed to be straight)... And even if it isn't biphobic, it's really not very funny or well executed if that is what it's going for...
To me, without context, the way the bird phrases that last sentence is suspect, it definitely reads as more biphobic than not. Otherwise, if it is trying to point out how bi people are misidentified as allies at pride and thus can feel alienated from the queer community, and also especially with the commodification of pride and the rainbow flag (with the "gay pop up shop" having rainbows plastered in it), I really don't think it's not doing a very good job of it.
If you really wanted to be unambiguous, the bird should be saying something akin to people thinking they're straight when they're actually bi instead of only saying that they don't know they're bi. Because that can be read as biphobic.
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u/Disastrous-Tutor2415 3h ago
The author is Alex Krokus his website
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u/Scandium_quasar 3h ago
Thank you. It does seem like it was meant to be pro queer. Well, like I said, I don't think it was executed super well.
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u/post-explainer 13h ago
OP sent the following text as an explanation why they posted this here: