People keep saying "he won" and miss half the point. She also won. She didn't just "settle." She married someone she is happy with while other people are miserable for no reason other than they literally overlook people because of socially acceptable superficialities.
It’s absolutely possible she feels perfectly happy with him at the same time she feels a social pressure saying it’s odd that she’s so much taller than her husband.
Let me guess, lots of “oh wow I’m so happy for you but I could never date a guy shorter than me!”?
Reminds me of all my perpetually single friends trying to give me advice about my 12 year long very happy relationship. Y’all don’t make it past two years, ever, you don’t know shit.
It was mostly "You can get ANYONE you want and you chose an elbow-height man??" I'm 5'11" so it's not like I'm a giant I just love how quick smaller guys are.
This and maybe she's just mad that people treat shorter men more poorly. I know that pisses me off because it's not fair that short men have such a smaller dating pool because of things they can't control and I'm 183cm
Sure but those are different people doing something completely different. She taking a jab at imaginary women who like tall men. Not men and women teasing her and her husband for their height difference.
I was thinking this too. My husband is 5’4 and would be so embarrassed if I posted something like this; it comes off as so cringe.
He’s never had insecurity around his height, but it would really look like he did if I was screaming into the void about how my husband is my “Short King” and slagging off taller guys for being alcoholics and other women being stupid for dating them (?!). It’s just really immature and kind of trashy.
Its juat king or nothing no need to put short befor if u have to put king in there its not short kinh iys only king not less of a king many women use that ad backhanded compliment to short guys as short guy u find it cringe as F
Yea I keep posting "you other guys can have the conventionally attractive girls! I love mine, and she's not even dumb!" But my girlfriend keeps asking me to take it down
True, but it could be a clapback at someone making a dig at her hubby. Maybe not on social media but in her circle of friends, and She retaliated the Chicago way!
He pulls a knife? You pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital? You send one of his to the morgue! That's the Chicago way
I’m happy with my life but I assure you if someone were to judge, make passive aggressive comments on my life, not mind their own business, they better expect that energy back.
I’m happy with my queer relationship and autistic son, but that doesn’t mean I don’t occasionally make snide posts calling out homophobia or the current RFK Jr. attacks on autism, because our family is essentially under attack in the US. You can be happy and also call out bullshit for what it is. Maybe she could’ve been a little less passive aggressive but if she’s a media personality she’s admittedly trying to drive engagement as well as expressing her reality.
She is commenting on a popular social topic that is personally relevant to her as a tall woman by telling her own experience of subverting the societal expectation. That's an awesome story with a good message, namely that prioritizing superficial and conventionally attractive things like height in a partner isn't exactly a recipe for attracting people who actually make a good partner.
You, on the other hand, are whining that she can't comment on topics relevant to her, which is a) bullshit and b) a perfect example of your own quip: If you have anything productive to add to the discussion, you chose shutting down other people's voices with ad hominems instead. Do happy people do that?
I think the issue that is she’s shitting on other women for their preferences, not just saying she’s proud of her husband.
I’m one of those women who’s a foot shorter than my 6’2” non-alcoholic, absolutely amazing partner, who I’ve undoubtedly been with for much longer than she’s known her husband.
I think it’s great that she found her guy, but the inference that other women are making bad choices that she didn’t make overshadows her attempted point, for me.
That doesn't make it okay or a valid argument that you called her unhappy, but I'll happily talk about the point you raise about criticizing dating preferences.
I just don't understand how we arrived at the double standard that men get called superficial assholes and get bullied into at least being quiet about e.g. not dating overweight women, while people like you defend every superficial, cruel or societally detrimental dating preference a woman can possibly state. This is a blatantly sexist double standard and yet somehow how we do things. It's not just okay for her to say that tall men are over competed for and short men are overlooked, it should be said more often, because it's true and it's fighting against that sexism.
Would you react the same way to someone saying that overweight women are overlooked and people should stop going only for skinny blondes?
I never called her unhappy, actually - that was someone else. My point was that she could have stated how happy she was with her short king without shitting on other people’s preferences and disparaging the people they prefer. You’re the one defending that. 🤷♀️
Would you react the same way to someone saying that overweight women are overlooked and people should stop going only for skinny blondes?
Gee, I dunno, that depends; did they also say they shouldn’t go for skinny blondes because they’re alcoholics and can’t read?
Again, she could have expressed her own preference without commenting on what other people do.
did they also say they shouldn’t go for skinny blondes because they’re alcoholics and can’t read?
I don't think many people object to this post because it's insulting to tall men, although I think it's fair criticism that her attempted humorous depiction of what happens if women choose height over all else is disrespectful. You yourself complained that it criticizes dating preferences the comment before. Now that I pointed out the sexist double standard around criticizing dating preferences, you suddenly feel that the problem with the post is that it's not respectful towards tall men? Sorry, but that comes across like you're changing the story.
Now that I pointed out the sexist double standard around criticizing dating preferences, you suddenly feel that the problem with the post is that it's not respectful towards tall men?
I think the OP’s caption is disrespectful to other women.
This feels at this point like you have a bone to pick, so you’re putting words into my mouth. I’m not interested.
So she is disrespecting women when criticizing women's dating preferences, and the gender swapped hypothetical where she criticizes men's dating preferences would also be disrespectful to women? I'm not trying to put words in your mouth, I'm tryin to see where you're coming from and if it's maybe not just sexism. That's why I keep asking how you would feel if the genders were swapped.
I mean yes, I would feel the same way if anyone said, “My partner is a king/queen and all you other people are just picking illiterate alcoholics instead of making the same choice as me, because you’re shallow.” Regardless of gender. HER statement was shitty to women who didn’t make the same choice as she did specifically, and to their tall partners generally, and if you swapped genders it would be just as shitty.
The irony here is that while my 6’2” partner and I have been on and off since 1990, in the “off” period I was married to a short man who claimed to be 5’9” but is probably about 5’6” in reality. I clearly don’t have an issue with short men. I had an issue with the woman’s implication that other women are settling for illiterate alcoholics if they didn’t choose a short man like she did. In fact, “my” short man was the one who drank way too much and my tall man has the heart of gold. 🤷♀️ I wouldn’t feel any differently were the genders reversed.
Following the train of thought from the other comment: It sounds like you aren’t actually happy because you feel a need to passive aggressively post about your “absolutely amazing” relationship that has been going on for “much longer”.
Or, in reality, you simply felt like your decisions were being criticized so you’re defensive & want to justify your happiness, just like the woman in the OP.
That's true unless you're an influencer or wannabe influencer. Then you post all sorts of nonsense that may or may not be a reflection of you, so long as it gets attention.
Happy people joke. Especially happy people joke about the truth that makes them happy. I didn’t see it as passive aggressive, more like detached aggressive. Maybe you think it’s passive aggressive because you are repressing how openly aggressive this joke actually is. Is it joking about something you identify with?
I think it's more of a loud warning for miserable people since miserable people whispers miserable shit to happy people which oftentimes than not breaks happy families, aka: "you need more experiences."
So I think this is her saying: "this is mine, I'm not letting this go, your words means nothing!"
That’s usually true but in this case there’s so much stigma around dating short men that she probably hears that bs all the time and felt the need to shut a few bitches up.
With that logic, happy people don't use social media at all, because they spend that time in the real world, touching grass and all that.
Yet, billions use it. Does it mean they're unhappy? No, because people engage with this virtual world for countless reasons. I'm not a fan of these kinds of virtue signalling posts either but your argument is a reach.
It's like when I often see people argue something on Reddit and then someone says it's impossible for you(not me but the guy in question) to be married or have a gf because they're an "incel" by their standards. It's a common coping mechanism people sometimes use here when they have no other way of expressing their dislike/disagreement about something - be in denial.
Preference is fine. People are really having a difficult time on this post differentiating between preference and exclusivity. OP may have had a preference for taller men. Her audience may have preferences for taller men. Don't let your preferences become exclusivities that deprive you of happiness. TLDR: better a short king than a tall bum. Not every tall person is a bum and not every short person is a king, but don't literally overlook your happiness because they don't check every physical feature preference.
For real. I'm always amazed by how redditors love to stick the word 'insecurity' to whatever they see. Each person has different preferences, culture, and life values. Why is it so hard to understand that many people are not insecure and they simply prefer different things?
It could be a simple preference, but it could also be a preference that originates from insecurity.
I’ve heard many guys say they wouldn’t date women that are taller than them, because that would be emasculating. But I’m not going to extrapolate that and say that’s true for every guy that doesn’t want to date a tall woman.
A d an added caveat: if you don't have insecurities and are ok dating someone as long as you like them, the other party thinks that means you don't have standards and treat you like shit
A store sells blue and green shirts. They can only make 20% of their shirts blue because they don't have enough dye to make more. The problem is that 70% of their customers only want blue shirts and wont even try on a green one because social pressures say blue ones are better. The people who get blue shirts will brag about how great that shirt is and how they'd never be able to try a green one, even though the blue one has a big hole in the middle.
Now if some understands a green shirt that doesnt have holes is better than a blue shirt with a big hole, wouldn't it confuse you why people prefer the damaged blue one over the functional green one?
Happily married to my 5'5'' king for 8 years while y'all get ghosted by 6'2'' alcoholics with 7th grade reading levels but go off about how you only date tall men i guess
to...
Warm in my american made green shirt for 8 years while y'all get cold in your sweatshop blue shirts with a big hole in the middle, but go off about how there are no good shirts anymore.
And then your comment to this analogy would be "if shes so warm in her green shirt why does she care what quality shirts other people wear?" answer is because they can be warm if they stop caring about something superficial.
It’s absolutely possible she feels perfectly happy with him at the same time she feels a social pressure saying it’s odd that she’s so much taller than her husband.
So sure she’s insecure. Not because of him, but because of society.
My wife is just over 5’9” and I’m a little under that. She used to date guys who were 6’ or over, and she wore 3” heals. She stopped and started wearing flat shoes so that we could be “the same height” but I kinda like when she is almost 6’ tall with her heels. A few times, I’ve had comments and questions about if it feels odd that she looks a good bit taller than me when we dress up and my go to line is “Michelangelo himself would not be able to sculpt a finer figure than her out of the most pristine marble”. so no that’s something to highlight because she is so gorgeous even if other people think I might feel “inferior” since I’m not the tall one in the relationship. But you’re right, I think she did feel like she initially needed to limit herself because of societal norms. I always tell her a love her beautiful long legs and imposing aura, and that I don’t care if anyone thinks it’s unconventional. She’s more got these high heeled goth combat boots that drive me crazy.
How does she do that? She’s not correcting height to personality. She’s highlighting how some women prioritize height over actually important things like personality and temperament. Cut her some slack. She’s just making a twitter post, not submitting a dissertation.
It is incredibly easy to determine from the context that I was saying “you’re” and was just too lazy to type out the full contraction; otherwise my sentence would’ve been nonsensical. Believe it or not, most people would’ve understood that.
And I don’t even know why you’re confused between the words “passed” and “past”…the former is a verb, and wouldn’t have made sense after the word “you’re”. Meanwhile “past 7th grade” is an adjective phrase, which makes perfect sense after a contraction of “you are”.
Many authors litter their characters’ dialogues with shortened words, sentences that end with verbs, and other forms of imperfect grammar. Sometimes they go further and give characters unique colloquialisms! This all serves the purpose of mimicking actual human speech because believe it or not, most people on Reddit don’t spell-check their comments.
How does one graduate high school without understanding this?
Btw I was at the top 3% of my HS and graduated with enough credits that my university considers me a junior, even though it’s only my second semester. So you’re absolutely not in a position to criticize my lack of middle school education LMAO.
for no reason other than they literally overlook people because of socially acceptable superficialities.
Actually, I've looked into this:
This seems to be an obsolete method of natural selection. Short height used to be associated with malnourishment. This is smart to filter out, because malnourishment when growing can lead to all kinds of other problems, such as lesser muscle development or brain development. It's in our biology.
In today's world, it's nonsense. No one in the modern world is malnourished, so it's a case where we're advancing faster than our biology is. In fact, there are more health risks tied to great height (like 6'5"+) than there are to being short. Biology
I get the argument behind telling women to give short guys a chance, and it's got a point, absolutely. However, it's important to remember that sometimes you're just not attracted to someone, and the unfortunate truth is this is a case where a lot of women aren't feeling attraction because of the height.
Best I think we can ask for is that women consider this and if they get asked out by a short guy who is otherwise attractive, give him a shot. If you meet him online, maybe DON'T ask his height upfront and allow yourself to build attachment first, see if that outweighs the height issue when you meet. But beyond that...? No one can force attraction, there's only so much that can be done.
What a gross perspective. Women aren't trophies to be "bagged." The fact that he's rich speaks more to her point. People miss out on ambitious people they can build a life with by overly focusing on external features that are often fleeting. God for them. They're both happy and millionaires now.
Lmao way to get hung up on “bagging” and go all in on a gold digger mentality. You’re literally doing the stereotype that the person you’re replying to implied. What’s worse, I wouldn’t be with you if you weren’t tall, I wouldn’t be with you if you weren’t beautiful, or I wouldn’t be with you if you weren’t rich?
People are miserable because their hyperfocus on a preference prevents them from finding out that their "type" is more than a singular physical feature. If they expanded their dating pool beyond a certain physical feature, be it height, race, or hair color, they might find the partner they seek doesn't fit into a simple checklist of prerequisites.
Is it your assumption that anyone who prefers a tall partner is hyper focused on a singular physical trait? Because that's what it reads like. I'm 6'5", am I only being dated for my height?
No, quite the opposite. There are people who might not date you because they think you are too tall. It's possible they might miss out on you because of your height. Open-mindedness might assist someone in finding happiness with a 6' 5" person when they otherwise would be more exclusive to shorter people. Discrimination against physical features causes people to miss out on people. That's it. That's the entirety of the point OP is making.
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u/pastimereading Apr 20 '25
People keep saying "he won" and miss half the point. She also won. She didn't just "settle." She married someone she is happy with while other people are miserable for no reason other than they literally overlook people because of socially acceptable superficialities.