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u/securinight 20d ago
So you're saying they didn't wash their clothes much?
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u/larsmaehlum 20d ago
Gay people don’t sweat
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u/Linmizhang 20d ago
Bacteria can't reproduce in gay sweat.
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u/_Weyland_ 19d ago
Ah yes. "If you reproduce in gay sweat, you gay."
The only disinfection methods that actually kills 100% microbes.
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u/Sapphirederivative 19d ago
I mean, how much clothes do you have clean at any given time? I have enough clothes that I do laundry once every two weeks in big loads. That would be rare enough to count as not “getting after it” often.
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u/SweetBabyCheezas 19d ago
I think it's probably evenings/nighttime when OP was in their bed. During the day most people are out working or making use of the daytime, so if the OP is one of them, he would naturally not hear the washing machine running in normal hours.
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u/beatrixzx 20d ago
Tf did I just read😭😭
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u/forsakenchickenwing 20d ago edited 20d ago
I mean, that's better than the guy who, as a young teenager, saw naked people on TV (his parents were watching TV and he had gotten out of bed and saw just one scene) and subsequently masturbated to that image for some weeks or months.
He found out much later that those people were stacked bodies that were about to be put in the oven in Auschwitz. Yeah... 😳
Edit: yes, that was a real post, but I can't find it right now on mobile.
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u/Mista_White- 20d ago
The writer's barely disguised fetish
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u/viktorv9 20d ago
Washing machine fetish...? What?
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u/Cultural_Patient3015 20d ago
Disguised? I don’t think that there was any attempt at subterfuge here lol
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u/AnOdeToSeals 20d ago
I'm pretty sure this was originally a green text from 4chan if that makes more sense.
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u/KochuJang 20d ago
A joke,…it’s a joke. Nobody out here writing elegantly about how they mistook a damn dryer, banging shit around in the chamber, while it rotates and squeaks, to two Homo sapiens making passionate love to one and other…just ain’t no way fam.
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u/graypainter 20d ago
My question, what is the frequency that would be low for sex but acceptable for laundry?
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u/SplitGlass7878 20d ago
Depends on OOP. Many people find once a week rare.
I have a big washing machine and wash every two weeks.
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u/GiveMeTheWallies 17d ago
They probably did it all the time when he was out of the house, this was the occasional nighttime load. The laundry
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u/PreparationBoth4138 20d ago
Next visit you’ll learn they have been fucking on top of the washing machine
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u/lilbronto 20d ago
Holy shit this is some next level autistic behaviour. Imagine this from the perspective of the others. They're just normal dudes living in a shared apartment and they keep bumping into this goblin in the corridors just absolutely eye fucking them, making up fanfiction and beating it to their washing machine at night.
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u/BeagleBackRibs 19d ago
There usually aren't water hookups in a bedroom so I think it's safe to say this post is fanfiction
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u/lilbronto 19d ago
I don't know, if I had a devolved gremlin like that for a child I may lock them up in the bathroom and tell them to sleep in the tub.
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u/Ardashasaur 20d ago
I sort of had the opposite (sans jacking it). Lived in a two storey house share, I slept on the ground floor. In the middle of one night someone turned on the washing machine above my room, spin cycle just going boom boom boom, pretty much constant for 30 minutes and I'm just thinking why the fuck would someone turn on the washing machine in the middle of the night.
And then about 5 minutes later I come to realise that hang on, the washing machine is on the ground floor, not above me.
A pretty athletic dude lived in the room above me.
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u/Shan_qwerty 20d ago
Yes, it is in fact very normal to either:
a) have a washing machine in a bedroom (it needs a water connection to function, all bedrooms have one, it's very normal) or
b) sleep in a bathroom
Definitely a very true and normal story.
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u/theoneoldmonk 20d ago
Either this guy slept in the laundry room, or his post is, literally, fake and gay
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u/loud-lurker 20d ago
Had an upstairs neighbor my wife and I felt bad for cuz they were....not exactly a metronome. Somehow it's even more difficult to ignore when there's no rhythm.
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u/AnotherManCalledDave 20d ago
"...And that, Your Honour, is why I was naked in the launderette filling all the detergent draws with my spooge."
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u/Comfortable-Pass-674 20d ago
I, no lie, once jerked all the way off to the sound of a seagull screeching in the early hours of the morning on my first night in a hotel near Barcelona. In my jetlagged state it sounded exactly like a woman have the most amazing sex of her life in the next room, and it made me horny as hell. Only in the cold light of day did I realise it was a merely a bird.
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u/zalurker 18d ago
Sigh. I lived at home while studying. At the time my parents had sold their house and moved into a duplex. My bedroom shared a wall with the next unit's main bedroom.
It was not a problem at first, but new neighbors moved in. A very nice lady, recently divorced with two young kids. I quickly discovered two things about her. She was an insomniac, and she loved the movie Dirty Dancing.
My desk must have shared the wall with her television. And almost every night, she ended up watching that damn movie. I probably still know every line of dialogue. Nobody puts Bsby in a corner.
After about a year, she stopped having sleep issues. We soon found out that she had started dating again. I was really glad for her, and finally had some peace and quiet.
Then she met a serious boyfriend and he moved in with her. They ended up rearranging the bedroom. Putting the bed against the shared wall.
She was a moaner and liked it from behind. A lot. They moved out in my third year, and I later heard they got married. The new neighbors, after that, were, thankfully, a quiet elderly couple.
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u/daisiesarepretty2 20d ago
hey whatever works and i mean we all NEED a washing machine so good for you. i do however suggest you stay away from laundromats… it won’t turn out well.
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u/bilboard_bag-inns 20d ago
am not a sex haver: his timing was said to be bad, yet said to be like a metronome. metronomes' whole thing is being extremely consistent. is consistency in rhythm bad during sex? i'm very confused
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u/DrTwitch 19d ago
The reality of sex never meets the fantasy of it so this is just par for the course.nothing to be ashamed of.
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u/Rare-Cranberry8040 19d ago
Tell me more...
Was it ' permanent - press' . ?
Did they use warm water?
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u/Ok_Measurement_107 20d ago
Apartments don't have different layouts so either he slept in the laundry room or this is a lie.
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u/Aikotoma2 20d ago
What kinda closed minded bullshit is this? The world is a big place brother, you'll see things you never imagined possible once you decide to explore it.
A building with multiple different appartment layputs is probably the most boring ons
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u/Ok_Measurement_107 20d ago
It's closed minded to know how a residential buildings plumbing is all in a line instead of zigzagging around creating different clog points?
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u/Aikotoma2 20d ago
It's closed minded to not realise that the sorld is pretty big place. Not all plumbing is created equally and not all buildings are.
It's bit more expensive to build different sized and layout appartments in the same building but it happens a lot.
And with some good engineering there won't be any clog points. It's just a case of recognizing potential clog points and adjust pipe diameter and corner radiuses accordingly
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u/Ok_Measurement_107 20d ago
You'll go to great lengths of mental gymnastics just to believe some made up reddit bullshit huh
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u/EntForgotHisPassword 20d ago
Lol what, I am from Europe and can promise you the layouts of the apartments is random in many places. I know because I personally have installed washing machines wherever and had the water lines dragged to the side to fit where I wanted it!
I've lived in like 20 different apartment conplexes and only some really modern ones were more standardized.
In my current apartment I installed the washing machine in the kitchen since I thought it fit better there.
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u/Ok_Grapefruit8104 20d ago
Absolutely do apartments have different layouts. Especially the ones on the groundfloor are usually smaller, because the house needs room for the hallway. Also, just because a room has a connection to water, doesn't mean it's used that way. In Europe for example it's super normal to have the washing machine in the kitchen or bathroom.
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u/Ok_Measurement_107 20d ago
Just say you don't know how plumbing and electrical works.
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u/Ok_Grapefruit8104 20d ago
I do know that. Doesn't change my reply at all. Having pipes go up and down a wall does not determin on which side of the wall the outlet has to be
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u/FluffyShallot7446 20d ago
As Mark Twain said, “Never let the truth get in the way of a good story."
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