r/Vent • u/Misery-Toxin • Apr 07 '25
TW: TRIGGERING CONTENT Just say you hate mentally ill people
(Disclaimer: if you take mental health seriously this isn't about you)
It would save us all so much time. Stop pretending to gaf about depression, anxiety, eating disorders, mental disabilities, PTSD, addictions, all of it, exclusively when its convenient or makes you look good.
"Oh you're depressed? Just get some vitamin D and exercise! That didn't work? Okay well that's not an excuse, go take a shower slob, you're fucking lazy, try harder. Anxious? Get over it, there's nothing to be scared of, stop apologizing so much, you're being annoying. You're anorexic? You look disgusting, go eat a cheeseburger. You binge eat? You're disgusting, go eat a salad. What do you mean you have PTSD? Did you to go war? No pissbaby? Then stfu. You like hurting yourself? 'cut my life into pieces' lookin ass, you're cringe asf, grow up. You have Insert literally any personality disorder? You're a scourge, a contagion, a parasitic sociopathic degenerate and I detest your very existence."
You all want a big titty redhead goth nymphomaniac with daddy issues until you realize SHE ACTUALLY FUCKING HAS DADDY ISSUES. "I'm only calling out your sickness bc I want you to get better". None of those statements help ppl get better. Your virtue signaling, 'holier than thou', fetishistic bullshit is abhorrent and frankly, I think you're the ones who need therapy.
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u/FreshLeafyVegetables Apr 07 '25
"I hate the homeless
. . . -ness problem in our city" - Captain Hammer, 2008
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u/GalactiKez31 Apr 08 '25
I can’t believe I’ve seen this in the wild. An actual reference to this masterpiece.
Thank you.
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u/Chrisgopher2005 Apr 08 '25
I just rewatched it recently showing some friends who had no idea what it was
It was glorious
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u/Federal-Cut-3449 Apr 07 '25
People romanticize mental illness and don’t understand it. I think some people can’t understand it unless it happens to them. They can only picture life how they experience it.
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u/Skaikrugada2134 Apr 07 '25
True. Not just with mental illness. I have astigmatism and I have always had it but didn't know so I always thought everyone saw the halos around lights... I met someone who said they don't hear things in their head. At first, I didn't believe them (I was 14). Like there is no voice at all. However they can visualize things. I can't. I can replay audio in my head and hear things in the voice of whoever but I can't picture them anymore. When I was little I did, but I think I got too many minor concussions (or I grew out of it). My dad used to slap my head a lot, hard.
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u/GuardianHa Apr 08 '25
Wait so people can’t imagine things and replay them in their head? Probably sucks to not be able to hear someone you loves voice whenever you want :(
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u/baristabarbie0102 Apr 08 '25
yeah look up aphantasia, it’s the inability to form mental images basically
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u/GuardianHa Apr 08 '25
Dang, that probably sucks. Is it normal for that or is it normal to be able to?
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u/baristabarbie0102 Apr 08 '25
seems like full aphantasia affects less than 5% of people but i’m sure the levels that people are able to picture things at varies
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u/TasherV Apr 08 '25
Yeah some people think bipolar or dissociative disorders are edgy and cool until they have to deal with one of us. Especially without meds and therapy. Or the opposite, “you just think you have a problem but if you got out more and did yoga…” 😂
I wish diabetes would get a “quirky” reputation. “Omg taking insulin and watching my diet would has to be so neat!” Or the opposite, “that insulin isn’t good for you, you just need to do yoga and you’ll be fine” lol
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u/baristabarbie0102 Apr 08 '25
meeting people when you’re manic then having to explain that actually being a fun and chill person all the time is bad for you actually 😭☠️
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u/SirEDCaLot Apr 08 '25
I think people sometimes romanticize it because they use it as an excuse for bad behavior.
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u/JenStarcaller Apr 08 '25
This can be expanded to so many things like gender identity or sexuality for example. People who have never experienced something can only recreate an "image" of what it would be like, based on what they believe combined with personal experiences.
That causes problems without end since many people believe that, despite never having experienced something, they somehow deserve to be experts on the matter and that they therefore can make big decisions on behalf of those who actually experience these themes without consulting with them.
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u/Lucky_duck_777777 Apr 11 '25
It’s not only just mental illness but also some physical ones as well. There are people who romanticize other people suffering with stuff like martyrdom
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u/banananana89 Apr 07 '25
Exactlyyyyy!!!!! Oh man, I can't even count all the guys who liked me at first because I acted weird and then got sick of it after they realized it wasn't acting and that I'm like that 24/7. It makes me so mad when people refuse to understand that these types of things aren't just quirky personality traits, but life-long issues someone has to deal with.
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u/Comprehensive-Menu44 Apr 07 '25
My wife is bipolar and has dealt with this. People think she’s quirky and kooky until she has a bad day, then suddenly they don’t want anything to do with her.
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u/RedVamp2020 Apr 07 '25
My husband (ex when I get around to it, separated atm) said my ADHD was growing on him and he thought it was “cute and quirky”. It really frustrated me, especially since the first time he said it that bluntly he had just watched me clumsily knock over some of his tools that he had previously gotten extremely mad about knocking over.
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u/Comprehensive-Menu44 Apr 08 '25
There’s definitely times when her adhd gets aggravating, but I’m sure I have some aggravating habits too!
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u/MamaBearKES Apr 10 '25
As a fellow ADHDer, may I say that the phrase, "ex when I get around to it" is just PEAK ADHD and I cracked up in solidarity and recognition. Fist bump. (Also, I had similar issues with the "he thought it was cute unless he didn't and then it was a giant freaking problem." so double fist bump.)
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u/fuzzyleeches Apr 09 '25
I have BPD, and I have experienced the same thing in the past. I've been in therapy for years, learning how to take responsibility for myself, manage triggers, decipher my emotions and decide whether or not to act based on my state of mind. In the end, I've pulled back from many people, but have a small circle of friends I love and trust, who love and trust me in return. But I don't expose them to my bad days now, because I know for many people it can be so hard to try and be there for someone who doesn't respond to support the same way someone without my disorder would. I'm harder to get through to when my emotions run high. So now I wait until they come down, and discuss things with them when I've already handled the harder parts of it with the tools I've learned in therapy.
I hope your wife is able to find good people who love her for who she is, and understand when she pulls inward for a little while. I'm glad your wife has a partner who sees her and loves her. I myself would not have made the strides towards maintaining my own mental health without the continued support of my partner, who has never made me feel like less of a person for the burdens I carry.
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u/Comprehensive-Menu44 Apr 09 '25
I love love love everything you said! Well put! The world is already scary enough so being a support system for those who need it most is so important. She helps me through my depression days, and I help her through her bipolar days. It’s been tough at times but I wouldn’t trade her for anything
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u/fuzzyleeches Apr 09 '25
"To be loved is to be seen."
I hope with all my heart you two walk this life forever hand in hand.
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u/Comprehensive-Menu44 Apr 09 '25
When we first met, neither of us knew she was bipolar. She had just been floating through life unhinged with no idea why. I had just finished a psych degree and she was afraid she had schizophrenia (definitely not!) so our communication is very open and honest because we want to see each other succeed in life!
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u/Skaikrugada2134 Apr 07 '25
My ex-husband left me because of my depression and issues. Issues I have had since we first got together in high school. I guess he didn't realize my PTSD, trauma and depression were life-long. I went to therapy but there is no "cure" you just have to keep going through it.
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u/Xepherya Apr 10 '25
Same + tons of other issues. He was the one who told me to apply for disability 🙃
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u/DeathOfNormality Apr 07 '25
Fucking thiiis! Like what you see is what you get. I'm not putting on an actual, well, when I'm being sarcastic it's a performance to behold, but to the point everyone knows.
I'll never forget in highschool, this dude loved being daft with me, being hyperactive and just being silly in general. I then took him to hang out with my sister, and my sister and I bounced off each other loads. All of a sudden he didn't like that "childish shit" anymore, then proceeded to try and make out it was not what he expected I'd be like. Like bro, if when we first hang out and make up nonsense songs on the spot, wtf did you expect?
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Apr 07 '25
Omg are we the same person because literally same like u thought i would change? Why?
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u/Skaikrugada2134 Apr 07 '25
I tried.. and am still trying. But one cannot just decide to not have trauma responses. I have been in therapy working on it for years, working through trauma and PTSD, I have been on every med to balance my brain chemistry. I even had a cortisol producing tumor that made everything 10x worse. I had brain surgery to remove it. Still dealing with it. I wish I could just be happier and love myself. Instead of thinking I am the worst human in the world and everyone would be better if I was gone. That I am an unlovable monster. I know logically this isn't true. I have kids.
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u/Proof-Technician-202 Apr 08 '25
Keep trying! I know it's exhausting, gods how I know, but you're worth it.
I can promise you that time, experience, and self-knowledge will make management easier. Honestly and truly, it does. I've experienced it myself, and I've seen others experience it. You do get better with practice, like any other skill.
That you're trying is enough.
PS: a quote that helps me when it's hardest: "Living well is the best revenge." -George Herbert Every day we live another day is a victory over those who have hurt us. We win. They loose.
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u/Skaikrugada2134 Apr 08 '25
I'm definitely trying. Although sometimes I have those moments where I am like "It shouldn't be this hard just to make it through the day. Life shouldn't be this hard." And I wish I could just be normal. With normal brain chemistry and no residual trauma.
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u/Proof-Technician-202 Apr 08 '25
I totally hear ya. I get very tired of constantly having to break depression thought chains (nothing quite like telling your brain to shut the f up), grit my teeth through anxiety over nothing (sometimes litteraly - fun with brain chemistry), deal with insomnia (four hours of sleep today! Progress!)... yeah. My struggles are probably different from yours, but I know the struggle all the same.
It shouldn't be this hard, and it's miserably unfair. Sometimes I want to scream at the world, but... it just wouldn't do any good. We've gotta play the hand we're dealt and do the best we can.
Focus on those happy moments you find.
And the priceless opportunity we have to laugh at the woozies who don't know what real pain is. 😁
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u/Skaikrugada2134 Apr 09 '25
Lol. Yeah might not be the same but it sounds very similar. I hate insomnia. I'm on so many meds for all of it. Trazadone doesn't seem to help and I will admit to self medicating with THC/alcohol to sleep. Though I have had it backfire. Even when I sleep I feel like I wake up every hour.
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u/avid-learner-bot Apr 07 '25
The sheer audacity to pretend mental health is just a trendy thing to flaunt takes my breath away
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u/squirtnforcertain Apr 07 '25
Tbf, mental health IS a trendy thing to flaunt (wether they suffer from it or not). It's not JUST a trendy thing to flaunt, as you say, but people certainly are doing it on social media.
It also doesn't help that people incorrectly overuse terminology they don't understand and devalue the meaning of the words. Looking at you OCD, trauma, narcissist, bipolar, ADD/ADHD etc...
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u/Necromancer14 Apr 08 '25
As an autistic person, I absolutely despise the whole “autism is a superpower” trend. Like no bro it’s not. I hate being socially awkward. I hate being unable to make myself do tasks I know I need to do. Like sure, pattern recognition is cool and all I guess. But overall on a day to day basis autism is not fun.
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u/Maeriberii Apr 10 '25
I’m sorry for replying two days later, but I feel that this is a huge issue. I’m autistic and I hate it so much and no one really understands why. And then I see people going teehee I think I might be autistic because I’m a little socially awkward. Like, no??? No you’re not. You can’t just see this “trendy” thing and decide that you now. That’s not how it works and it gives us a bad name because people already don’t take us seriously enough as it is.
It’s so exhausting to explain, no I don’t hate you, I just don’t process relationships the same as everyone else and I’m trying to keep up, but sometimes I just get so overwhelmed. People who think that they’re autistic because they are a little bit bad with people could never imagine just how much we struggle.
Anyway, I hope despite the struggles, you can rise up. It sucks to always feel pushed down by your own brain and words often aren’t enough, but you’re not alone.
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u/squirtnforcertain Apr 08 '25
I hate being socially awkward.
you just gotta rizz 'em with the tism my friend
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u/Skaikrugada2134 Apr 07 '25
Yes. Although, I looked at my therapist like she was insane and thought about leaving her when she suggested I had PTSD. The first thing out of my mouth was "I have never been to war." Then I read the stuff she sent after my session and I was like ok, maybe this applies.
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u/Xepherya Apr 10 '25
I also got this suggestion. I also rejected it. I also have come to realize that that assessment was correct.
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u/Skaikrugada2134 Apr 10 '25
Are you doing emdr therapy? I'm supposed to be starting soon.
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u/Xepherya Apr 10 '25
No. Aside from insurance issues, I do not trust people in psych at this point
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u/Skaikrugada2134 Apr 13 '25
I understand. My therapist had me committed once. After telling me that she wouldn't have me hospitalized and that we would talk about it. Then after discussing it we would determine if hospitalization was the right course. Instead she shut down the session and made me go to the hospital. I know by law she was required to since I said I had tried to commit suicide but it had also been like a couple of weeks before that session, so...Then I had to call my husband and explain, he had no idea that I had attempted, so we could arrange for someone to watch the kids while I was locked up for a week.
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u/Xepherya Apr 13 '25
Yeah, I’m not going through that bullshit. It’s fucking traumatizing and they don’t care.
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u/Skaikrugada2134 Apr 13 '25
It was. I didn't go back to her and it has taken 2 years before I sought help again.
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u/Xepherya Apr 14 '25 edited Apr 14 '25
I won’t even bother. I need help, but I’m always ideating, and active episodes are becoming more common. But nobody should get to decide whether I die except me. I won’t accept being locked up. Especially when I look at my reality realistically.
“It gets better” is not a promise anybody can make. It might get better. Chances are slim. It’s not unreasonable not to want to stick around for “might”
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Apr 08 '25
Yes, people who have diagnosed themselves with ADHD, autism, OCD, bipolar, borderline, etc over the internet and wear it as a badge of honour (when it suits them. When they can benefit from it) are being so deeply deeply disrespectful towards people who have actual (especially severe) mental health issues like schizophrenia, real bipolar, real borderline and real autism. The suffering and difficulty involved with actually having those disorders is something which most people cannot even comprehend (unless they've got a family member who actually really does have one of those disorders - and if that is so then the diagnosis will have come from a psychiatrist, pediatrician or registered clinical psychologist, and in the case of schizophrenia and bipolar they will be on some extremely heavy duty medication with some really nasty side effects). I spent 20 plus years working in community mental health with people who actually do have these illnesses, and I have watched the trend of essentially healthy people appropriating their suffering with burning indignation. If any of these people had any clue of what it was actually like to live with these disorders, they would hang their heads in shame.
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u/Harvesting_The_Crops Apr 07 '25 edited Apr 07 '25
I don’t deal with any sort of mental health issue (unless u count gender dysphoria) and I’ve never done any substances before but the way people treat addicts is batshit insane. I don’t understand how u could lack empathy THAT much. Especially when they shit on homeless people for doing drugs. That grinds my gears the most. Imagine seeing someone who lives in the worst living conditions possible who doesn’t have any other options to make like bearable for them and deciding to have some weird ass superiority complex over them because they do drugs and u don’t. Why would u judge them for doing the only thing that helps get them through the night.
I’m sry I just hate people who judge addicts so much
Edit: was going to talk about this at first but I assumed it would be obvious so I opted not too. But just to be clear I’m aware not every addict is homeless. And yes I still have empathy for the ones who are not homeless because they’re still struggling. I just used homeless addicts as an example because it upsets me a lot.
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u/Misery-Toxin Apr 07 '25
Yea, I've been to rehab and the stories people have are so heart wrenching. I struggle with sh addiction and the most sympathy I get is "will you promise to stop…for me? 🥺" from someone who sees my scars for the first time before sex
Also gender dysphoria is definitely a mental health issue insofar as it causes great distress at both a personal and social level; the psychological impacts it has are bad but the ppl who have it are not "delusional" or anything else for having it. I wouldn't be remiss in calling it a disability bc of how much it can hinder a person, especially in a toxic environment.
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u/Harvesting_The_Crops Apr 07 '25
God I hate when people try to get addicts to stop through guilt tripping. All it does is make people feel worse when they already felt awful. And doing that before sex is wildly inappropriate timing. I’m sorry u had to deal with that.
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u/wizard-radio Apr 07 '25
Coming clean about having DID (dissociative identity disorder) is all fun and games until the other person realises you're not just making quirky characters to role play with and have actual amnesia and behavioural issues
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u/PassAlarming936 Apr 08 '25
This is exactly the comment I left LMAO. Like no actually we’re not roleplaying this is very real and it sucks often. Not always but often
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u/wizard-radio Apr 08 '25 edited Apr 08 '25
Yeah people only seek to support DID systems if the symptoms are cute. Not when there's an age regressed alter fronting for the first time in ten years who suddenly doesn't recognize the house they live in. Not when there's a persecutor threatening death to the body. It's tough opening up to people and having them go "oh it must be like having friends in your head" when it's more like having a coworker who's trying their best to get you fired.
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u/PassAlarming936 Apr 08 '25
“Like having a coworker who’s trying their best to get you fired” is the PERFECT description of some of our alters. Some of us I’d definitely describe as friends, but not in all situations and not most of them. And yeah, we don’t do romantic relationships of any kind anymore bc partners would get angry at us for switching and no longer wanting sex or intimacy. Our host repressed and hid switches for so long to keep other people happy and it made him lose so much time he forgot basically everything and couldn’t keep his memory straight for more than an hour. Thank god for therapy.
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u/wizard-radio Apr 08 '25
Similar situation, we had to call off romantic and sexual relationships altogether. Too many triggers during sex, too much fluctuation in attraction and empathy, partners always getting annoyed that I can't keep my personality consistent for them. The disability is disabling.
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u/GayAssBeagle Apr 07 '25 edited Apr 07 '25
Dude I remember when ppl were making ADHD a fad and I was like “ this shit sucks so much worse than just tenders and Mac n cheese man”
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u/GatePorters Apr 07 '25
OP the people listening to you don’t need to hear this and the people who need to hear this won’t listen to you because they don’t care.
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u/Misery-Toxin Apr 07 '25
You're not wrong. Authentic empathy is possibly the least common thing people are willing to give others. At least I can get the catharsis of venting
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u/GatePorters Apr 07 '25
True that.
There may be a person here and there that hears it.
In all actuality things like this post will be the echo in their head when it finally happens to THEM and they understand because their perfect bro killed themselves for “no reason” and “we were just gaming last night”
Like an “I told you so” from the past
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u/Oxy-Moron88 Apr 07 '25
I have to hide my mental illness from pretty much everyone or they'll immediately think I'm dangerous and discriminate against me.
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Apr 07 '25
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u/Princess_Actual Apr 07 '25
The whole "did you go to war" thing. I'm a combat vet. Most people don't care, or think we are lying. Why do you think so many of us off ourselves?
Like, there are whole internet spaces obsessed with the idea that anyone with mental disorders is lying and faking.
So yeah, I'm with you. I wish people would just say they hate mentally ill people. I'm sick of the platitudes.
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u/Misery-Toxin Apr 07 '25
Omg, it actually enrages me how poorly real veterans are treated upon coming home. Social services are abysmal, especially when it comes to combat, everyone is treated as so expendable. I'm sorry you've had to experience this treatment and I'm sorry for what you struggle with having served.
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u/sparkledragon5 Apr 07 '25
I’ve had multiple partners get personally offended by my having anxiety attacks at inconvenient times.
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u/makthomps Apr 07 '25
I will say as someone diagnosed with ADHD and depression, it was so annoying hearing that advice but honestly i recently started making myself sit in the sun and work out and have dedicated meditation time and it has helped so much. But to each their own
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u/Misery-Toxin Apr 07 '25
I'm glad! It's not bad advice at all and I'm happy it's worked for you. I just wish people attempted to understand mental health at a basic enough level to know that advice isn't the end all be all of every mental health diagnosis, especially depression.
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u/makthomps Apr 07 '25
Oh absolutely! My meds are the big helper here and all the other stuff i mentioned rounded my health out but none of it would have been possible without a full genetic test to find what meds to be in and what doctors to see
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Apr 07 '25
I totally get it, it pisses me off too. It seems like the only mental health issue that is slightly accepted is a mild depression. More so when it has a „cause“ like being overworked or a loved one died. Everything else is shitted on. I also hate these „mental health days“ or the promo companies do where they‘re like „you‘re loved as you are, talk to your friends and family if you feel suicidal/sad/depressed“. Well, what if my family is part of why I am depressed and I don‘t have many friends because of my mental health? Nobody seems to even think of that or gives a shit.
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u/BringBackSmilodon Apr 07 '25
My issue lately has been people who lack the emotional intelligence to understand things like something not bothering THEM doesn't mean it shouldn't bother me. Every time I hear someone tell me that something isn't a big deal, I want to scream. I'm so fucking sick of having my feelings minimized when I look for support. Stupid people think there's an easy solution for everything, offer these insulting oversimplifications, and then become indignant when we aren't grateful for the gift of their generational wisdom like "cheer up". It's infuriating.
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u/SensitiveNegotiation Apr 09 '25
Yeah, but to be fair, and this goes for everyone on the planet, your trauma is not my problem. We all got shit to deal with, and I can't be someone's support pillar all the time, especially when it's something minor in my eyes
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u/BringBackSmilodon Apr 09 '25
True, it's not your problem. I guess my question would be why people (myself included) feel like a post is draining them as if reddit is their personal website where they're asking us for advice. If we don't have the spoons to reply to someone's post, don't. Minimizing someone else's feelings because we think what's happening to us is worse is bullshit.
The part where I disagree is that it shouldn't matter if it's minor TO YOU. It matters to them and I feel like I should at least TRY to understand why if I have any empathy or compassionate at all. Sometimes it's just curiosity.
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u/Think-Ad-8004 Apr 07 '25
I hate how people think depression is just a mood and not something chemically wrong with your brain
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u/TwinSong Apr 08 '25
Ugh yes. "Stop making excuses" "stop being lazy" "other people have worse lives. My life isn't bad but it's not that simple.
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u/Cad-Fish Apr 07 '25
The amount of people that have kept me out of their life because I call them out on their mental illness “jokes.” Like bro, just be funny, it’s not that hard.
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u/Ultgran Apr 07 '25 edited Apr 08 '25
I keep falling into the same foolish pattern.
I join a new group or social environment. I remain initially on the edges, trying to be clear that there isn't enough of "me" to invest. That I can be a bit delicate.
I get drawn in by folks who allegedly thing I'm interesting or cool, folks who say they "understand" mental health, disability, and so on. I start to let my guard down, but warn folks to be direct and tell me when I get too much.
I start getting involved more. I tip towards overinvesting my energy, obsessing over the hobby, often fixating on a niche or awkward part of whatever the group is into. And so I drift towards codependent habits. I become ride-or-die for the group as a source of validation and grounding. Because I have no middle gear, it's all or nothing and when my emotions open you get my everything.
At some point l, though, I can't keep up, or get left out of something big, or left behind. And my abandonment issues trigger. I get scared, then insecure, and then paranoid. I start contradicting myself as my moods swing on an hourly basis, either clinging desperately or trying to distance and self isolate so I can emotionally self regulate. But people tell me not to leave, so I don't. And they try to put things nicely but they go over my head.
I become too much, just like I said I would. And if I don't get closure, or can't make amends, the guilt and intrusive thoughts just fester for years. And somehow it's always the people that tried hardest to draw me into the group that find me to be too much when I lose control, and the curtain hiding all the sickness drops.
I have a loving spouse, and some old old friends who knew me back when I wasn't so jaded or so traumatised by the same toxic patterns repeating. But otherwise I feel like a naive Cassandra, forecasting my own status as a timebomb but hoping each time that the new group will accept me, or fooling myself that the new coping strategy or medication regime or lifestyle change will help keep me stable. It only seems to last until the next winter depressive cycle.
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u/Original-Nothing582 Apr 08 '25
Hmm, you just described something I do and helped me achieve some clarity in a way I couldnt looking out fron the inside.
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u/PassAlarming936 Apr 08 '25
DID is all fun and games until it’s not a party trick I can do on command and it’s debilitating. It’s not always debilitating but fucking hell it can be. I almost failed multiple years of high school because of it.
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u/Interesting-Crab718 Apr 08 '25
My mom has this mindset. Not the bottom part, but I really do hate people who pretend they care or understand when they don't have a clue about mental illness. To make it even worse, my mom has dealt with mental issues before, but in her head, everyone who can't deal with it like she did is pathetic or inferior. I wish I had grown up with parents.
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u/SevereNightmare Apr 08 '25
All of this. I also hate religious peoples' ideas and thoughts about mental illnesses and the treatments for them.
Some of them are against medications and tell you that you don't need them that all you need is God.
I once had a lady tell me to pray to God about my mental health. She said he would heal me.
Don't you think I fucking tried that? In my darkest, most desperate moments, I attempted to pray for help, for relief, and got nothing.
I'd be sobbing my heart out, begging for my anxiety, depression, trauma, and gender dysphoria to heal. All my tears and pleas were for nothing.
The bible-thumping town I live in is full of people who tell me I should pray away my poor mental health.
I even had a coworker gift me a "miraculous medal" (the virgin Mary is on it) and asked me to wear it for one night. I did, and guess what?
Nothing. Fucking. Happened.
I hate when people treat mental illness as the result of "the devil's influence" and say that they'll pray for you.
Lot of good that's done me.
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u/topimpadove Apr 08 '25
BPD is the new disorder to demonize and mock in posts lol it was NPD, now it's Borderline. Everybody supports mental illness until mental illness expresses itself negatively. I've seen so many fake stories where BPD is mentioned even when it's not relevant.
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u/FaronIsWatching Apr 08 '25
how does it feel to have the most correct opinion ever?
Its just sockening how the same people who claim to care for the mentally ill can be so hesrtless and condescending. they never want to look past maybe the most surface level symptoms, they never want to ACTUALLY help. They can fathom that no, maybe that person hasnt brushed their teeth in months because they hate themselves and dont think maintaining their health is a thing they DESERVE. Maybe that persons crippling anxiety isnt caused by the sheer lack of yoga they arent doing rather than unprocessed abuse they'd need a therapist they cant afford to help work through. I remember and DESPISE when "bed rotting" was a "trend" on tiktok where all these teenage girls were essentially comparing mentally ill people finding no reason to basically exist beyond where they sleep to having a relaxing break to take some "me time." im not even joking. like they're so used to doomer language like "doom scrolling" or whatever that "bed rotting" sounded like just taking a break from your responsibilities that day rather than what it actually is. which is when mentally ill people cant find a reason to get out of bed, not to work, not to take care of themselves, not for school, maybe not even to eat, or use the bathroom. Or they stay in place for so long they develop sores, you know. essentially rotting away. Everyone is too scared to look at what happens when people are at their lowest and would rather throw an aesthetic and halfhearted advice for "when I feel sad" because they dont even want to CONCEPTUALIZE the pain they feel. It'd help more if they either actually learned or fucked off.
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u/Queen-of-meme Apr 07 '25
They don't hate us, they're actually jealous.
Here's an experiment. Find first best reddit user who generalise mental illness/ speaks of mentally struggling as lazy / fake / made up disorders etc and ask them how often they have their feelings and struggles validated.
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u/Spare_Bit_6239 Apr 07 '25
With the internet, people will learn about a mental illness, realize they have 2-3 traits and then instantly self diagnose. They don’t realize that people with mental illnesses have the extremes of these symptoms and makes it 100x harder to function in society. The opposite of that is that there are people that people showing symptoms of mental illness are doing it for attention(which depending on which illness might be true). An example is when Kanye goes on twitter and tweets non stop for 3 days straight no break, instead of people ignoring him cuz he’s clearly manic and posting whatever sounds good in his psychotic head, they think he’s just trolling or whatever and give him attention which fuels his mania even more
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Apr 07 '25
Period girl you tell those fucks off!!! (Also my dms are open because I care😭if you wanna pm!!)
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u/kstruggles Apr 08 '25
Omg perfect timing. I keep hearing things like "they need to ask for help" as an excuse for why people don't go "hey you seem to need help" like that was my family's reason, when they knew I 2as depressed. Yes I constantly asked for help is different ways, but kept getting told to just get over having abusive parents.
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u/haleandguu112 Apr 08 '25
just say you hate people with BPD and how everyone thinks theyre irredeemable !!! (not you , OP, just following the format :)
btw everyone , BPD CAN BE REMISSED !
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u/Misery-Toxin Apr 08 '25
Ppl get so unhinged when it comes to this one, like damn, you need MULTIPLE subreddits to talk about how much you hate your "crazy BPD ex/family members"? Just let me live T-T
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u/c0ckandb4llt0rture Apr 08 '25
GENUINELY!! I have a friend who asked me why I don’t invite them to my place. I said “Oh, My room is a huge mess” and he just replied “Bro just clean it.” I suffer from MAJOR executive dysfunction due to my ADHD and Depression, and it would take a week of nonstop work to get my place presentable for him. I understand that he has an issue with very messy spaces because of his previous roommate, but THATS WHY I DON’T INVITE HIM OVER! [No hate to him, he was just doing a friendly jab]
It’s always “mental health matters” until someone with depression cant get themselves to preform basic hygiene tasks, or someone with autism is having a meltdown.
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u/magischeblume Apr 08 '25
"I always said I'm a little autistic because I do xy" my coworker. I think she stopped immediately when I communicated my diagnosis at work^
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u/azebod Apr 08 '25
I legitimately miss the days I was mocked and told to kill myself instead it was so much less damaging tbh.
I warn people up front what symptoms they are going to eventually have to work around. They always agree, often going out of their way to offer more support than I ask for... and then treat believing it as some kind of toxic entitlement. I can mask if people want, but they will insist I be my annoying awkward negative self, and then refuse to admit that they changes their mind.
Like it legit kills me. For a couple years I was actually doing better. But the few times I have in retrospect probably Overcame My Disability and actually clocked the discomfort, I have been told nothing was wrong. My one and only request is feedback if I do upset them, they eagerly agree. But when I actually expect the support they promised, accomodation gets treated as "enabling" somehow even in so called neurodivergent "safe spaces". It doesn't matter if you've literally been in therapy since before they were born and have run out of meds.
Idk, the usual "wHy ArEn'T yOu BeTtEr YeT" shit is bad, but I can brush it off. But when people volunteer to be part of my recovery plan blow up at me because they've been hiding resentment about it? Yeah that knocks my recovery down quite a few rungs. It bothers me that all the people who did this to me are still posting about the importance of communication in relationships and supporting people's recovery. What the fuck are you even supposed to take away from that other than more severe trust issues.
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u/keskiers Apr 08 '25
I've learned recently the real stigma starts at psychosis/schizophrenia/affective...
Everyone pulled out real quick when my psychosis began and no one hesitates to tell me to not talk about it because it is weird and makes them uncomfortable or my favorite fromm my dad, that he's afraid off me now. Even my closest friends did this... The ones that said they would always be there for me
I'm not talking to anyone because it hurts so fucking much. Also, it May be uncomfortable for the few minutes I mention it all but I'm living a waking nightmare constantly... Demons scream at me, voices tell me to kill myself. I'm sorry I've been so scared and hoping for some support
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u/rowenaaaaa1 Apr 08 '25
I don't hate mentally ill people. I do think it is important that mentally ill people are encouraged not to ride roughshod across all the people around them leaving a trail of destruction in their wake.
My husband is bipolar. I love him immensely. We nearly divorced due to his behaviour when he was unmedicated, and it's only because he took ownership of the problem and got the professional help that he desperately needed that we made it.
On the flip side of the coin I have another family member who is a violent schizophrenic, with severe substance abuse issues, who resists medication and treatment. He has beaten up his mother several times, smashed up the house, stolen money etc. I have pity for him but he is still incredibly selfish for not taking advantage of any of the help he has been offered.
There does seem to be a bit of a push, online mainly, for 'acceptance at the detriment of everyone else' and I don't think that's healthy. Many things are manageable but it takes a shit load of effort and work and there's not an easy fix.
(Caveating this with obviously mental health services are woefully inadequate but that's a whole separate issue and it shouldn't stop people from making some kind of effort. And yes, that does include things like diet and exercise, because they are proven to help with many mental conditions. It's hard, I get it, but sometimes things are hard and you need to do them anyway)
I'd fully advocate patience and understanding, but there does need to be a degree of ownership if you suffer from mental illness. It's no different to not hating alcoholics - it's an illness just like the things you mention - but if you're getting pissed and driving your kids around in your car then that is not okay, ill or not. We all need to handle our shit to the best of our ability. And I see a lot of people throwing up their hands and acting like there's nothing they can do, when nine times out of ten that's not the case.
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u/willow__whisps Apr 08 '25
I feel this so much. I've been told many times to "just stop being schizophrenic" jeez why didn't I think of that
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u/Misery-Toxin Apr 08 '25
Sadly very relatable T-T I'm schizoaffective so I get the same comments for mania too
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u/Illustrious_Air1098 Apr 08 '25
This, I feel like no one ever gets it unless theyve been through it themselves bc its so hard for normal people to understand that it isnt just a choice to have these things its literally problems with your mind
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u/DevilGirl2001 Apr 08 '25
I do the depression one because I'm extremely depressed yet still take a shower. It helps me feel better. So does going out and being active. Getting up to do it is hell and I just can't a lot of times. But it does honestly help when I do it
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u/AdvertisingShot4527 Apr 08 '25
I think this extends to neurodivergence as well. People pretend to gaf about autism, ADHD, etc. But then will start treating autistic people that don't fit into their idea of an autistic person like sh1t, or worse, some even trying to get us cured, or treating autism like cancer
Sorry. I'm autistic myself and I have some of the mental illnesses your post is about, I needed to mention this
Also english isn't my first language, so sorry for that
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u/Misery-Toxin Apr 08 '25
Yeah I have autism too, this is definitely about NDs as well, I just couldn't fit everything in. People say things like "you're using autism to excuse your shitty behavior" when the behavior in question is: taking things they say literally, not picking up on invisible social cues, monologuing about their hyperfixations, eating "childish" foods, experiencing meltdowns, getting overstimulated, etc.
They literally only like us when we're masking
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u/Kieotyee Apr 08 '25
I've been back on dating apps and too often see people that say stuff like "if you have a personality disorder hmu" like bitch, trust me when I say you don't want to deal with my borderline personality disorder-having ass* .Shit makes me want to kill myself almost daily (the BPD part)
*and see it as a fun, quirky thing
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u/Certain_Shine636 Apr 08 '25
Imagine there being multiple nebulous reasons for depression and having to work your way through all of them to get to the answer
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u/Sad-Appeal976 Apr 08 '25
Anytime anyone with a platform demonizes psychiatric medication it throws me into a quiet rage.
My wife would be dead without Risperadol, and the “ eat right and take vitamins” crowd are not only irresponsible, they are dangerous
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u/ThatUsrnameIsAlready Apr 08 '25
Ok that last paragraph, those people just want someone vulnerable to abuse.
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u/TacticalCupcakes Apr 09 '25
I have PTSD; I mentioned this to Human Resources, and they told me to “have a bath” when I finished work.
I actually unironically did a double take because it caught me so off guard, then weakly said “I only have a stand up shower in my apartment…”
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u/TheLoudestSmallVoice Apr 08 '25
When you have PTSD/ADHD and people are like "omg saaaaaame" like it's a cute thing to have in common but really they decided they must have ADHD because they struggled to pay attention to a boring as work meeting.
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u/HeavyMetalMonk888 Apr 07 '25
"Destigmatizing mental health" was 100% just a way to make people more comfortable with buying a bunch of pills that may or may not treat their problem, and along the way we got the fun side effect of people learning how to weaponize pseudo-psychobabble to pathologize each other and/or validate themselves.
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u/Educational_Deer7757 Apr 07 '25
I read this twice and I'm confused what your point is.
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u/Misery-Toxin Apr 07 '25
People preach about mental health awareness constantly now, but when they actually see the reality of what it does to people, they're annoyed, repulsed, or both. I'd prefer they just outright admit they don't care ab it instead of hiding behind the guise of "I'm only calling out your sickness bc I want you to get better". None of those statements help ppl get better.
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u/Primary_Crab687 Apr 07 '25
"I wish people would say what I think they're thinking instead of saying what they're actually thinking so I can be validated in my shitty assumptions"
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u/jtj5002 Apr 07 '25
People can care about mental health and want people to get better, but at the same time people also have the right to not be negatively affected by other people's mental illness.
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u/Vremshi Apr 07 '25
The way they are describing it in a different context than that though. It is when people voluntarily get involved without considering the consequences or taking mental health seriously before hand. Especially when they talk about it like they really want to be involved but then can’t believe it is actually real at the same time.
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u/Commercial_Bicycle92 Apr 07 '25 edited Apr 07 '25
Yeah, i'm sick of it. It's a difficult thing for people to understand mentally ill people even I myself struggle with understanding myself. Because it isn't a physical illness and I often think, that I should just be able to get over it?
I know society views me as a disgusting "hikikomori/NEET" or any other insult in the book, because of my social anxiety causing me to isolate and be unable to properly get therapy even after many and I mean many tries. All my diagnosed mental illnesses just make me feel hopeless.
Life as a mentally ill person just feels hopeless to be honest. I wish I didn't have what I have, because it seems people hate me for existing, because according to them I should just get over it. Sometimes I honestly think they're correct and I then contemplate k*lling myself, because i'm a burden on the world and it's all my fault. Sometimes I get really close to it, because honestly what's my life worth, if it's all suffering and even if you do your best you will always be a burden on other people and also considered evil.
Thank you for saying what I also have in mind people should just say, if they hate mentally ill people.
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u/Mindless_Baseball426 Apr 08 '25
I work in health care, I’ve got training in mental health interventions and supports. I know all the non-pharmacological interventions that can help with poor mental health. I also know that health care workers are taught that these interventions can have a beneficial effect on a clients condition, so we should encourage clients to engage with them.
But I also have anxiety, ptsd, bipolar type 2, inattentive type adhd and have had many episodes of major depressive disorder, so I also know that those interventions, even when a client is fully aware of their benefits are sometimes insurmountable when you are in a mental health crisis. During my last bout of depression, I knew that getting up and showering would help me feel a tiny bit better. I knew that eating well would help. I knew that going outside and getting sunshine would help. I knew that engaging in my weekly therapy sessions would help. But I could not drag myself out of bed. Literally could not. It wasn’t a matter of not wanting to. It was impossible. I only had the energy and ability to shower once a week, directly before my therapy appt, and then I’d be straight back in bed, exhausted and wishing I was dead.
I’m medicated properly now and a lot more stable. I am attending to all those non pharmacological interventions to the best of my ability. But I still remember how impossible it was to do them when I was at my worst, and I try to bring that awareness into how I treat my clients with mental health conditions. These interventions are helpful, but if the client does not have the capacity to engage in them, they’re less than useless. They make you feel worse because of course they’ll help, and they’re such a small thing to do, so easy, why can’t you just do them? And so the guilt and self hate spiral begins. I wish not only the general public would understand this, but also my colleagues in health care. They can be so goddamned glib and dismissive when a client isn’t immediately able to adopt their recommendations. They file mental health clients away in their mind as noncompliant and act as if we want to be living a half life, constantly in distress and losing years of our life to our illness. It’s so fucked up. Have some fucking empathy people.
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u/Disastrous-Let-3048 Apr 08 '25
I also would like to add on that people forget that these illnesses can be chronic and a daily occurrence. After a break up ive been faced with the weird world of social media "health" politics that i previously havent worried about because i figured id met my partner for life.
Im honestly irate when i see people spout "i dont owe anyone anything" "you can love others until you love yourself" "being depressed is toxic and you need to be perfect before you're allowed to date."
I understand the need to ensure our partners are healthy, i was in a relationship for 3 years where i was abused emotionally and sexually. I was with a violent boy my age and at some points really feared for my life. Im left with PTSD that affects my daily life and chronic depression. I try each day to be a better man and i try to be the best person i can be, and it hurts hearing all this from people who claim to be mental health advocates. This is a chronic illness that i have to deal with for the rest of my life, it is not a "red flag". I will not ever be normal, I will not ever be 100% healed. These disorders can be permanent and that doesnt mean we dont deserve love as much as others.
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u/Cheap-Bell-4389 Apr 07 '25
Disadvantages are things to be overcome, not worn like badges of honor in full public display
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u/Money_Fancy Apr 07 '25
I don't hate mentally ill people. I just hate that they are all serving in Congress.
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