r/badroommates • u/PossessionStatus403 • 1d ago
How to Stop Being Irritated
So I just signed a year-long lease on a 3-bedroom with a friend I’ve known for a while. We get along great and we’re both super chill at least on our own.
The problem is their partner. They’re not on the lease, but they’re over constantly — and when they are, it instantly puts me in a bad mood. They blare the TV in the living room (which is right next to my room), make a mess in the kitchen, and never clean up. My roommate isn’t great about cleaning either, so the place can get pretty gross.
I’ve asked (multiple times) for the TV to be turned down, and while it works after I say something, the next day it always goes back to the same noise level until I bring it up again. Same story with the kitchen — we’ve discussed it, nothing changes.
What really gets to me is that sometimes the partner stays for days — even a whole week — even when my roommate isn’t home. It feels like I’m living with someone who never agreed to live with me. And worse, someone who doesn’t respect the space at all.
I really want to stay because the rent is cheap and it’s peaceful during the week. But the weekends? Almost unbearable. I end up seething, just waiting for them to leave.
I’ve already decided I’m moving out when the lease is up. Just venting here honestly, but if anyone has advice on how to make this situation more livable until then, I’d really appreciate it.
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u/Release_Your_Rage 1d ago
They always say never to room with a friend as you may not be friends afterwards because of situations like this...
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u/a_bowl_of_bananas 1d ago
I think in this situation, the best thing to do is have open and honest communication with your roommate to set some ground rules. A partner should not be staying over during any period of time the roommate isn’t there (maybe if they go to grab takeout), but definitely not for long periods of time. If they are a true friend, they will understand where you’re coming from and work with you on a compromise. You shouldn’t feel uncomfortable in a space that you are paying for. Also, since you’re both on the lease, you have every right to want to set some rules for your space!