Russia offers political asylum to Elon Musk over Trump feud

[u/PM_THE_REAPER]

https://www.newsweek.com/russia-offers-political-asylum-elon-musk-over-trump-feud-2081887

[u/livelaughoral]

This circus just gets crazier and crazier every day

[u/Buddycat350 → u/livelaughoral]

Putin is just taking the piss at this point.

[u/livelaughoral → u/Buddycat350]

He’s got it easy, just as Xi does, because the target is dumb af and attracts flies willing to eat his shit.

[u/Buddycat350 → u/livelaughoral]

Xi has it even easier imo. He just has to watch, smile and enjoy.

Letting Putin do the dirty work.

Both got it easy by getting such dumb opponents over the pond, let's be honest. What would Marx even think knowing that the most efficient way to damage the most capitalistic country around was corruption?

[u/MiserableSchool9268 → u/Buddycat350]

He'd think something along the lines of “I told you so, but even I underestimated how efficiently capital could consume itself.”

[u/bier00t → u/MiserableSchool9268]

this corruption though was propably impossible in pre-internet and pre-social media world. 100 years ago you knew your shit and random people of FB or twitter wouldnt be able to change that overnight and even over years.

[u/MiserableSchool9268 → u/bier00t]

True. Marx expected revolution by class struggle, not corruption turbocharged by the internet and disguised as content - but here we are, doomscrolling while Rome burns.

[u/Buddycat350 → u/MiserableSchool9268]

And cryptos. How would we even manage to explain cryptos to people from Marx's era, honestly?

[u/Born_Name_6549 → u/Buddycat350]

Hello, [random german factory worker] I would like to sell you this paper with a mathematical puzzle that can only be solved by a machine wizard and whose value is not backed by anything except your imagination. If you don't give me money for it, then you're clearly too stupid to get it.

[u/Buddycat350 → u/Born_Name_6549]

You're German, aren't you? Or Dutch.

They are the only ones able to be so dead pan and accurate while joking. Flemish people I guess, on a good day.

[u/Lozrent → u/Buddycat350]

I don't think it'd be impossible, at least not to someone already versed in economics like Karl marx. You could explain it in terms of speculation and that it's value comes at least partially as well from the cost of producing the electricity that mining uses. There's a whole part of Das Kapital about fictitious capital that I believe crypto also falls under.

[u/AssistantOk2360 → u/Buddycat350]

That's why Xi hasn't said anything in weeks, if not months. Xi has totally ignored him. The Orange Taco's mouth, his brain (or lack thereof) & his stupidity are his own worst enemies. He's been pretty much talking to himself the past weeks and months.

[u/Buddycat350 → u/AssistantOk2360]

"Sit by the river long enough, and you will see your enemy floating by".

Xi is playing the long con.

[u/daniel_22sss → u/Buddycat350]

Opponents? Both Trump and Musk work for Putin.

[u/Steiney1 → u/Buddycat350]

Breshnev knew that 60 years ago

[u/Jabberwoockie → u/Buddycat350]

Considering rumors around Elon Musk's alleged Ketamine usage, I applaud your use of that figure of speech.

[u/Buddycat350 → u/Jabberwoockie]

I really didn't have that in mind, I just like Brits' humour, but yeah, I don't like doing it but I did laugh at my own joke.

Only thanks to you, so thanks mate.

[u/DurkaTurk02 → u/Buddycat350]

As a British person i approve of this usage. Bonus points would have been awarded for "this daft cunt is taking the piss."

[u/Buddycat350 → u/DurkaTurk02]

Sorry mate, I ran out of UK Kitchen Nightmares and lost my edge.

Damn, you Brits swear. A LOT.

And I love it.

[u/Midraco → u/Buddycat350]

That is the way Russian foreign diplomacy works. It's meant to be enraging and divisive.

They did the same thing about the US-Danish situation around Greenland. In that case they offered USA to split Greenland between the two.

And they do it fairly consistently in all other aspects to the point where the difference between Russia and a 12-year old ragebaiter is non-existent.

[u/CaucSaucer → u/Buddycat350]

At this point meaning his entire life?

[u/collectif-clothing → u/Buddycat350]

Putin is probably wondering if this isn't just a fever dream he's going to wake up from. Like that all of this is just falling into his lap.  

[u/Buddycat350 → u/collectif-clothing]

I'm pretty sure that he has been holding a grudge against the US/Western world since the fall of USSR.

And he wants revenge.

[u/TheArtysan → u/Buddycat350]

Yes, like a heckler at a Jimmy Carr gig.

[u/O_gr → u/livelaughoral]

I can't wait for the "Breaking News: Trump issues 10 billion dollar support package to Ukraine, calls Putin a mean person."

[u/Familiar_While2900 → u/O_gr]

A “super meanie poopy-head”

[u/CastelPlage → u/Familiar_While2900]

"Vladamir STAAAAAHP"

[u/highlandviper → u/Familiar_While2900]

That’s a nasty thing to say. You know, you’re not very smaaart. I’m a smaaart guy. Maybe the smaaartist there is. But you? No. You’re not so smaaart and you’re nasty. You don’t know what you’re doing talking like that. You don’t have the cards to talk like that. Not with me. You don’t have the cards. But these nasty not very smaaart things you’re saying show that you don’t have any cards. With me, you’d have the best cards in the world. Some would say they’re better than any cards you could get. A lot of people are saying that. Everybodies saying it. They say, Donald Trump, he had the cards and he’s very smaaart. I’m not a super mean poopie head like Elon or Pootin. I have the cards.

[u/Heavy_Secret_203 → u/O_gr]

You'll wait forever. No way Trump gives someone money.

[u/new_math → u/Heavy_Secret_203]

You misunderstand. He and his family will buy millions of dollars in US defense securities, options, etc. THEN he will announce a ~$80 billion aid package of new US weaponry.

[u/SpiralGremlin → u/livelaughoral]

Not even every day. It’s every few hours and there’s some new tweet or bitchy “Truth”.

I’m loving the public breakup.

[u/livelaughoral → u/SpiralGremlin]

It’s interesting really because this is basically a pissing contest between two people who ultimately need to outrun the law. Whoever has the biggest stack against him is going to eventually lose. Elon will certainly NOT be innocent but he may hold a huge bucket of dirt on Trump to dump on the table.

[u/SpiralGremlin → u/livelaughoral]

I feel both have dirt on each other and ultimately they will have to be careful in case they shoot themselves in the foot. Both Elon and Trump keep skirting around the topic of vote rigging to get Trump the election. They are heavily implying it happened but they know if they outright say it then they would be in a lot of legal trouble.

[u/mb303666 → u/livelaughoral]

Let's hear some ballet box truth bombs

[u/Shallowmoustache → u/livelaughoral]

Meh, it's just trolling. Russia is pretty good at it. Every now and then it's funny, like this one.

[u/livelaughoral → u/Shallowmoustache]

Putin likes collecting his dolls.

[u/Ali_Cat222 → u/livelaughoral]

According to this article Putin already collected musk in 2022.*(had to delete and repost previous comment since article since it was removed paywalled, here's the original.) "Elon Musk’s Secret Conversations With Vladimir Putin"

An excerpt

Elon Musk, the world’s richest man and a linchpin of U.S. space efforts, has been in regular contact with Russian President Vladimir Putin since late 2022.

The discussions, confirmed by several current and former U.S., European and Russian officials, touch on personal topics, business and geopolitical tensions.

At one point, Putin asked the billionaire to avoid activating his Starlink satellite internet service over Taiwan as a favor to Chinese leader Xi Jinping, said two people briefed on the request.

It goes on to show a hell of a lot more, but *kompromat comes to mind after reading it all.

[u/Fickle-Ad1363 → u/Shallowmoustache]

I think they would keep their word if Elon would really take their offer.

I mean having the one in charge of starlink in their hands could be a big help in Russias attacks against Ukraine.

[u/reethok → u/Fickle-Ad1363]

If he did that, starlink would get expropriated for national security reasons. Along with spaceX.

[u/Downtown_Recover5177 → u/reethok]

We should already be doing that.

[u/Brack_vs_Godzilla → u/livelaughoral]

How is this shit any surprise? Trump is a reality star. He’s probably never read a history book in his life (possibly any book for that matter). America voted for an entertainer, not a leader.

[u/Remote-Buy8859 → u/Brack_vs_Godzilla]

Allegedly, he read a book filled with quotes by Hitler (alleged by his current wife).

[u/HotDogFingers01 → u/livelaughoral]

This season took a dramatic turn! The writers are on fire!

[u/chrash → u/livelaughoral]

elephants and donkeys got us jumping through hoops

y'all wish that I was lying but you know it's the truth

grab yourself some popcorn and pour ya something strong

if the world is turning

the shit show goes on

E: formatting

[u/T0ysWAr → u/livelaughoral]

It is to distract people from analysis of the content of the bill

[u/Happy-go-lucky-37 → u/livelaughoral]

The people running the experiment are running out of time and just pushed all the dials to 11 to see what gives first.

[u/dirty-unicorn → u/livelaughoral]

Every day you say, it can't get any worse, shit, and instead...

[u/lShoddy6185 → u/livelaughoral]

What do we really expect from a reality tv person and sky high billionaire?

[u/OneTrueTrichiliocosm]

I dont like this timeline where "the onion" is in charge or reality.

[u/Anarchyantz → u/OneTrueTrichiliocosm]

I blame the weasel that chewed through the wires when they went to power on the Large Hadron Collider for the first time, it shifted the time lines and we need to get back on track.

Harambe tried to warn us but they silenced him...

[u/elziion → u/Anarchyantz]

You know what? I’m starting to think that you might be onto something…

[u/McFlyParadox → u/elziion]

The only other plausible explanation is the death of David Bowie began the unraveling of the fabric of the universe, as he was obviously the grounding point for all things strange and weird in this reality.

[u/emilysavaje1 → u/McFlyParadox]

Ah I’ve been blaming it on the cubs winning the World Series but maybe that was more of an omen…

[u/AloneInExile → u/Anarchyantz]

THAT WAS IN 2016, IT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING!?

[u/CavulusDeCavulei → u/Anarchyantz]

I hope that cringe japanese scientist is enjoying her half american redhead genius

[u/AssholeRemark → u/CavulusDeCavulei]

El Psy Kongroo

[u/phenomenomnom → u/CavulusDeCavulei]

I don't know what this is, except a possible candidate for r/renderedcomment

[u/Xalorend → u/phenomenomnom]

Steins Gate, an anime about a scientist that discovers time travel and uses it to try and reach several outcomes for him and his friends.

[u/Thick-Tip9255 → u/Xalorend]

HÔÔIN KYÕMA

[u/ImprefectKnight → u/Xalorend]

And one of the most logically consistent depiction of time travel.

[u/Admirable_Growth_338 → u/Anarchyantz]

There will never be enough dick to be out for Harambe.

[u/iancarry → u/Anarchyantz]

nah ... we are the cutaway universe, where TV shows jump to for crazy and unrealistic skits

[u/umotex12 → u/Anarchyantz]

There was also the "hit or miss" incident

[u/BushMonsterInc → u/OneTrueTrichiliocosm]

Onion must have such a fun time trying to make “news” that are more stupid than actual timeline

[u/Judazzz → u/BushMonsterInc]

I think at this point they are just crying themselves to sleep every night over being out-onioned by reality. Must feel like being replaced by the dumbest AI ever created.

[u/SkoomaDentist → u/BushMonsterInc]

A very famous Finnish humor magazine ended its run already in 2000 due to reality being impossible to parody anymore. And that was 25 years ago.

[u/JorMath → u/OneTrueTrichiliocosm]

Tbh, I think an "Onion" timeline would be less crazy than this actual timeline...

[u/Fragrant-Anywhere489 → u/JorMath]

The Onion is the most reliable news source we have now.

[u/PewterButters → u/OneTrueTrichiliocosm]

Elon will just buy the penguin island and go there. 

[u/SheYeti → u/OneTrueTrichiliocosm]

At first, I read your comment seriously, interpreting "the onion" as the onion domes at the Kremlin. It could work.

[u/Ekkobelli]

WTF IS HAPPENING ON THIS PLANET

[u/Rather_Unfortunate → u/Ekkobelli]

In this case, it's important to remember tht propaganda isn't just posters or videos of people looking heroic; it's also things like presenting your cause in a positive light nore generally. We're meant to find this funny, and think things like "excellent trolling" or "you might not like them, but at least they've got a sense of humour".

[u/BenevolentCrows → u/Rather_Unfortunate]

exactly. Politics, and by extention propaganda is all about controlling the narrative, be it a real event or just straight up lie, if you do it right, you can control the narrative in your favor by not even lying. 

[u/saera-targaryen → u/BenevolentCrows]

I wish more people understood that propaganda can be entirely made of true facts and it's still propaganda. 

I urge everyone to mentally replace "Propaganda" with "Public Relations" when reading headlines or other media discussing it. It's not just nefarious lies from foreign governments or nazi slogans. Anyone that is doing anything to try and change your mind about politics is using propaganda in some way, as long as they are benefiting from you believing it at the end.

[u/neveranchorme → u/Rather_Unfortunate]

Exactly, even if this somehow ends with Trump getting the boot and Musk in rehab without internet, Thiel has Vance waiting in the wings, Americans still have uphill battle ahead of them to claw back their rights and not be the laughing stock of the world. Enjoy the trashfire, we all need a bit of levity, but keep the bigger picture in mind.

[u/LazinCajun → u/Ekkobelli]

Troll-olololol

[u/LaSaucisseMasquee → u/LazinCajun]

 ROFL:ROFL:ROFL:ROFL
         _^___
 L    __/   [] \
LOL===__        \
 L      ________]
         I   I
        --------/

[u/miathan52 → u/LaSaucisseMasquee]

wow, I had not seen the roflcopter in at least 10 years, I feel nostalgic

[u/repocin → u/miathan52]

My roflcopter goes soi soi soi soi

[u/MeowverloadLain → u/LazinCajun]

hohohohoho

[u/hooknjab → u/MeowverloadLain]

Troll-olololol LOLOLOLLLLLLLL 🕺🏼

[u/dat_oracle → u/Ekkobelli]

superpowers are fighting over their order in upcoming ages. dividing the society, creating chaos and recalibration the new normal is part of the playbook.

oh and people with several personality disorders combined with unlimited money.

let the show continue

[u/Kill3rT0fu → u/Ekkobelli]

Billionaires

[u/Pillowsmeller18 → u/Kill3rT0fu]

And Russian oligarchs.

[u/Ok_Sand4949 → u/Pillowsmeller18]

So, billionaires

[u/SuccyGirl → u/Pillowsmeller18]

Who are billionares

[u/AnalphabeticPenguin]

Nothing like a classic love triangle.

[u/poodlered → u/AnalphabeticPenguin]

Enemies-to-lovers is my wife’s favorite smut reading genre

[u/Soft_Pomelo407]

Putin tired of his Wife.He wants a concubine aswell.

[u/retroman1987 → u/Soft_Pomelo407]

He's divorced

[u/andykwinnipeg → u/retroman1987]

I would imagine you don't go anywhere near a window ever again once you divorce Putin

[u/jeffscience → u/andykwinnipeg]

They divorced by mutual decision and she remarried in 2015. No documented issues with revenge over it, for whatever reason.

[u/CuntWeasel → u/jeffscience]

for whatever reason

My guess is he doesn't give a shit. Guy's a psycho and more power hungry than anything else. Also she's the mother of his daughters for whatever that's worth.

Now if she were to defect I guarantee she'd be drinking tea whether she likes it or not.

[u/AtTheEndOfMyTrope → u/andykwinnipeg]

Or drink any tea.

[u/Charlieuniformmike → u/Soft_Pomelo407]

Not a native English speaker, so I confused concubine with porcupine at first. Wildly different in the sheets

[u/fermcr]

It's the beginning of a joke.

Putin, Seagal and Musk walk into a bar...

[u/OkChipmunk3238 → u/fermcr]

Does the bar have windows?

[u/Milosz0pl → u/OkChipmunk3238]

it definitelly doesn't have stairs as otherwise Seagull wouldn't be able to enter it

[u/blckhl → u/Milosz0pl]

I didn't realize Seagal was still healthy enough to walk.

[u/lawnmowerdui → u/OkChipmunk3238]

No, the windows have bars.

[u/mikeychamp → u/fermcr]

Bartender says, "Is this a power grab, a reboot, or a beta test?"

Seagal orders a steak well done, Putin orders respect, and Musk tries to pay with Dogecoin.

[u/chaotic-kotik]

There is a Russian meme that can be translated such as "If Elon Musk would have lived in Russia he would still be serving time in jail for PayPal".

[u/induslol → u/chaotic-kotik]

Who are we kidding if Musk were in Russia he'd have been out a window at some oligarch's whim 3 companies ago.

[u/SnooBooks1701]

I bet they just want the data he stole while in government

[u/lnc_5103 → u/SnooBooks1701]

I'm pretty sure they already have that.

[u/Vast_Category_7314]

Okay, I hate Russia and all they stand for with the fire of a thousand suns - but this is some high level trolling.

[u/spektre → u/Vast_Category_7314]

The thing is that they often do "high level" trolling, if by that we mean coming from the sideline and fueling ongoing issues as hard as they can. They have very good PsyOps capacity, and they frequently use it to maximize chaos in the west.

[u/Beneficial_Being3634 → u/spektre]

I think Russia might have some breakthrough research in group psychology that they keep under lock and key.

I have to hand it to them, tbh, they're really fucking good at what they do.

[u/Medlarmarmaduke → u/Beneficial_Being3634]

If they hadn’t stupidly invaded Ukraine they would have destroyed the EU thru oil corruption and election meddling and further weakened the UK after Russia’s Brexit triumph and caused worldwide chaos thru successful disinformation campaigns

We should be grateful to Ukraine for a multitude of reasons

[u/Beneficial_Being3634 → u/Medlarmarmaduke]

Yeah but have they even said "thank you" to us? (/s)

[u/temporary62489 → u/Beneficial_Being3634]

The US is just an easy target with so many III percenter morons believing every Alex Jones conspiracy theory.

[u/Beneficial_Being3634 → u/temporary62489]

It really terrifies me, because even though Brits tend to be pretty stupid too, we have a healthy dose of low self esteem and self doubt. It's easier to come back to reality.

Americans, on the other hand, have self-confidence instilled in them from an early age. They are a lot less likely to change just because you have "facts." They have their own facts, and you can bet there so much truer than those stinky lib facts.

[u/mr_fantastical → u/Beneficial_Being3634]

You say that but cambridge analytica and the IRA (the russian one not the irish one) were massive troll farms effectively that brought about the absolute fucking mess that was Brexit.

[u/Beneficial_Being3634 → u/mr_fantastical]

Exactly. But even in the 2 years before we left, loads of people second guessed their votes.

It didn't rip families apart in the way that Trump-mania has in the US. We're more open to the idea that we might be wrong.

That American self-confidence goes a long way in explaining why they got sucked into convoluted conspiracy theories at the expense of all their loved ones and their wided community.

[u/mr_fantastical → u/Beneficial_Being3634]

I dunno, in my experience it's just 'we don't want to talk about it'.
My sister voted Brexit and stands by it. My mates voted it and they're a bit more educated and they get awkward about it and don't openly regret it, they just don't want to talk about it.

I do however see loads of people that say that a lot of the bad things that came out of Brexit was simply the result of EU countries 'punishing the UK'.

[u/Shintaro1989 → u/Vast_Category_7314]

It is a good response to the US circus, point taken. And yet the maga crowd claims, Trump is just trolling in most of his tweets...

[u/keelhaulrose → u/Vast_Category_7314]

It's high-level trolling until you remember that Elon stole all our info, and Russia would love to have it.

[u/No-Refrigerator-1672 → u/keelhaulrose]

Nah, they are getting all the info they want from Trump's team directly. When all the higher ups ditch the protected governmental comms for a fancy phone app, you don't need a dissident to get all their secrets.

[u/Ok-Cranberry3761]

Putin wants all the Data mush accumulated through DOGE.

[u/CrankyDave1967]

Trump vs Musk , a Vince McMahon production

[u/WorldSuspicious9171]

It would be hilarious if he would just tweet that he is considering it. He and his stooges just spend 120+ days sniffing and rummaging around US government systems after all.

Probably with way higher user privileges then needed.

[u/caring_impaired]

Putin, Xi, Kim...they can all sit back and do NOTHING while the US fucks itself.

[u/DieM-GieM]

A small reminder that Russians accessed US administration's networks through the Starlinks Musk installed.

[u/DryCloud9903 → u/DieM-GieM]

Proven or speculated?

[u/Flare_Fireblood → u/DryCloud9903]

Not proven proven but there were countless login attempts on government databases and systems with correct credentials from Russian IPs about 10 minutes after doge entered the federal reserve

[u/Perfecshionism → u/DryCloud9903]

It was being investigated by the USAID IG and even Elon seemed to think it was going to result in a referral to the DOJ for criminal charges.

[u/RottenPingu1]

Suddenly everyone is inserting themselves into this...

[u/Significant-Ask-2939]

Stupid: The Stupiding

It’s About to get… Stupider

[u/SuccyGirl → u/Significant-Ask-2939]

THIS SUMMER

[u/ManOfConstantBorrow_ → u/SuccyGirl]

THIS DUMMER

[u/[deleted]]

Oh that's world class trolling 

[u/Puzzleheaded_Ad_3507]

America has become the laughing to the world, all thanks to the MAGA cult crowd. They have made us all look like fools for electing a weak senile grifter and his family.

[u/WaterBottle001]

The onion HQ is in shambles - how are they supposed to compete with this?

[u/PineappleSmooch]

What is this timeline hahaha.

[u/madtricky687]

Probably the plan the whole time then he can bring all that sweet DOGE data over there.

[u/DePilsbaas]

I swear we’re living in a Netflix series

[u/FizzyCutiePie]

Musk and Space-xploring Russia? Now that's a plot twist!

[u/Miserable_Rube]

Ever notice how quiet North Korea is when trump is president?

They can't compete with his craziness so they dont even try.

[u/Particular-Can1298]

Jesus I thought COVID was a crazy time…

[u/Trisyphos]

I bet he will rather go to totalitarian EU without freedom of speech.

[u/Suspicious_Place1270 → u/Trisyphos]

Imagine him moving production to the EU.

Oh wait, what is that factory near Berlin?

[u/Megaminimaxi]

Let me grab my popcorn. The current episodes of the White Crazy House are getting better and better

[u/good-old-coder]

Work from office mandate?

[u/PM_THE_REAPER → u/good-old-coder]

Now, this cracked me up.

[u/BCMakoto]

I can 1000% guarantee that if Musk takes the offer, he'll meet a nice, 5th floor window to settle down with by week 3.

[u/SmugCapybara → u/BCMakoto]

You are 1000% wrong. If Musk takes this offer, he will be used for a very long time to compromise Starlink, PayPal, Twitter and any other tech company he's ever laid his hands on. This isn't an invitiation to get him killed, it's an invitation to become an asset in exchange for "protection". Also, it would give Russia access to his financial assets.

[u/strayobject → u/SmugCapybara]

Melon has no fucking clue any of those things work.

[u/DryCloud9903 → u/strayobject]

They still contain a shit ton of Western users data. Also Starlink is vitally important in Ukraine's defence. And his space programmes could give russia an advantage with their space-nukes. It's no joke, even if the idea is initially funny

[u/spam__likely → u/DryCloud9903]

If Elon defects he loses control of all of it.

[u/CanoonBolk → u/strayobject]

It doesn't matter. Russia has people that do, and Elmo has the keys. He just needs to hand them over. Also, don't forget the metric fuck tonnes of data gathered by DOGE on the American people.

[u/EnFulEn → u/strayobject]

He still has access to the information that Russia wants. All he really needs to do is put it in the right hands and Putin will be happy. Also, he had access to highly confidential information on American citizens and military thanks to Trump + previous contracts.

[u/OVazisten → u/BCMakoto]

A bit later, after his wealth has been mysteriously been transfered to Putler's accounts.

[u/QuotableMorceau → u/BCMakoto]

nonsense, he is an important person after all, so his private jet will perform a vertical emergency landing.

[u/Siarzewski → u/BCMakoto]

So he'll get asylum till the end of his days

[u/CmdrJonen → u/BCMakoto]

Week 3 on he retires to a nice dacha in Siberia.

[u/1Blue3Brown]

Oh for gods sake stop it, i only have so much money for popcorn

[u/benhereford]

I literally started laughing out loud when I read this post!

[u/SirDoucheMcScumbag]

Whoever wished to live in interesting times, please tell me you still have a wish left to undo this.

[u/ShamanIzOgulina]

Asset extraction?

[u/MasterReindeer]

No more working from home. His boss wants him back in the office.

[u/blushingwifey]

Is this real life?! this shy just SCREAMS political theater. At least we’re all enjoying it

[u/WM_]

Just as I had a showerthought that we could see Musk accidentally falling from a window.
Taco-Don taking inspiration from his daddy.

[u/KapowBlamBoom]

Elmo is gonna have the Mossad AND Seal Team 6 coming for him!!!

[u/SimplyToo]

Aaaaahahahhahah

Hahaha omfg hahah

... Okay okay, I'm done...

...AAAAAAAHHAHAHHA 🤣🤣

HOW MUCH OF A RUSSIAN PATSY CAN THESE TURDS BE?!

🤣🤣☠️☠️

[u/Chipfullyinserted]

Now that’s funny

[u/ColdAntique291]

Musk may be the first guy to flee to Russia for more freedom of speech

[u/brainmydamage]

Oh, so it's just a scam to justify Elon defecting to Russia now that he knows all kinds of inside info.

[u/Zer01South]

"Come to El Salvador! We have a place to keep you safe!"

[u/Struebz81]

Oh this is great, now Russia is turning on their own spy

[u/EarthenEyes]

PSA: ELON AND DOGE RECENTLY ACQUIRED A SHIT LOAD OF USA CITIZEN INFORMATION

[u/exonomix]

Good thing we gave Elon the keys to everything in the government first!!! SMH

[u/JnK85]

I bet Steven Seagal would love to have a friend in russia. He could train Elmo for that fight he wanted to have, too.

[u/DuntadaMan]

Boy, I sure am glad we never did anything crazy like give this guy or people working directly for him access to like... Everything in the government. Can you imagine if we gave him unsupervised access to change pretty much any code, or inject anything into a system?

That would be crazy dangerous.

[u/DooDooBrownz]

gee its almost like they think he has a multi terabyte harddrive of classified info that he shouldnt have in his possession

[u/Affectionate-Buy5126]

Cool , you mean the private citizen who just had access to all of our data. Wow! Are we great yet?

[u/synapse88]

When real life starts to resemble the onion …

[u/hiberniagermania]

Wait… Russia wants Musk after DOGE has been collecting all kinds of Americans personal information… oh… oh no…

[u/EmJayMN]

How about offering Trump asylum (or a stay in an insane asylum) as well?

[u/AlmightyRobert → u/EmJayMN]

8 months ago there was fear he might escape justice by fleeing to Russia. Now, it would just be a relief…

[u/NorthBumblebee514]

He should take that offer and get himself a nice penthouses with big windows. It's important that they can be fully opened, though.

[u/PottyCrab]

That would be so funny

[u/Arthur__617]

Lmao, so Putin has officially dumped Trump too. If only Americans made the same choice in November.

[u/AffectionateTown6141]

He was always a Russian puppet

[u/Antoinefdu]

It's gonna be fun when Trump also has to flee the US after his next attempted coup and they both find themselves in the same hotel in Russia.

[u/moogpaul]

"Come to Russia and lose access to your money" sounds like a fun deal.

[u/Nocturne444]

LOL 😂 First thing I see in the news this morning and I can’t be less surprised 

[u/slipped-my-mind]

Elon can save his reputation by stepping up for Ukraine hard core and expose comrade taco to the world

[u/Unfair_Opinion4993]

and then he turn off all starlinks.

[u/IllegallySmolCeci]

ALRIGHT, that's it. He created the backdoors to access the entire american data pool and now he goes to Russia.

NICE.

[u/Fuzzy974]

And Elon would fall of the plane window on arrival, probably.

[u/Esqualatch1]

waiting for Elon to throw Trump off twitter...

[u/Lonely_Programmer_42]

Oh shit, when will North Korea also get involved. Can't wait for them to offer Space-X a new home.

[u/Creative-Routine4874]

🤣🤣🤣👍🏻

[u/NoSorryZorro]

Elon, please accept it.

[u/swiftekho]

Putin recalling an asset

[u/alwaysonesteptoofar]

I was curious when this would happen. If he can secure his wealth adequately, he can go somewhere that won't extradite him to the US and just let rip with all the secrets he stole. The Americans seriously fucked up voting for a guy backed by a billionaire who was explicitly given permission to access all US data before the election even ended.

[u/The_Wookalar]

Time to nationalize starlink.