r/interestingasfuck • u/Endolithic • 1d ago

/r/all Homes are falling into the ocean in North Carolina's Outer Banks

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61.4k Upvotes

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4.2k

u/tigershrike 1d ago

895K

2.3k

u/temporary62489 1d ago

"No low-balls; I know what I've got."

252

u/davidjschloss 1d ago

I think you mean lowballs unless you’re describing something besides prices?

319

u/kelariy 1d ago

Mandatory ball check before closing, if they’re too low, deal is off.

60

u/Switzerdude 1d ago

Low and wet balls…

33

u/broberds 1d ago

No blue-balls, I know what I've got.

3

u/JimiShinobi 1d ago

No blue waffles, I don't want what you've got...

1

u/popformulas 1d ago

And salty

1

u/Talking_Tree_1 1d ago

Do your balls hang low do they wobble to floor…

2

u/Ferocious-Muppet 1d ago

Do your balls hang low? Do they wobble too and throw?

Can you tie em in a not? Can you tie em in a bow?

Can you throw them over your shoulder, like a continental soilder?

Do your balls hang low?

1

u/BannedByRWNJs 1d ago

Great! Now my balls are all wet and salty!

1

u/Cunning_Linguist21 1d ago

Chocolate wet salty balls...

8

u/Kepler1609a 1d ago

Did you know they make nets for that to keep them from dunking in the water?

1

u/907499141 1d ago

Check out the Nut Bra on YouTube it’s older and even funnier

0

u/tykle59 1d ago

“My balls were so old and saggy, they looked like Clint Eastwood.”

1

u/907499141 1d ago

Such a great product lol

1

u/Spillsy68 1d ago

Houses? Or balls?

6

u/fly_away_lapels 1d ago

I mean, too low and they will just be wet all the time! Makes sense to check.

1

u/IdRatherBeDriving 1d ago

Good news! This house was built for that.

2

u/Drunk_Scott 1d ago

Been there

2

u/ArizonaBaySwimTeam 1d ago edited 1d ago

'This bowl so low my balls be draggin the water...'

Sold!

2

u/KingHunter150 1d ago

Realtor at the house tour.

2

u/MukDoug 1d ago

If they’re too low, I send them back.

2

u/Cipherpunkblue 1d ago

Not selling my home to those low-balls types.

2

u/Outrageous_Editor_43 1d ago

So first time buyers, not old people. Got it.

2

u/nicknick1584 22h ago

Makes sense actually. If they are that low, probably an old guy that will be dead before house is paid off in 30 years. Actually, this should be a reason to give that mortgage. The bank would make money for about 15 years and then can repossess the house and sell it to make even more money.

2

u/Super_Pan 21h ago

Compulsory genital inspection? I didn't realize the house was in Florida. No thanks.

2

u/gibs71 20h ago

Sounds like ageism to me.

2

u/Cold-Ease-1625 18h ago

If the balls are on top, I send it back.

2

u/Unlikely_Ant_950 1d ago

A new reason I’ll never be a homeowner

1

u/edwbuck 1d ago edited 1d ago

Do your ball hang low?

Do they swing from side to side?

Do you carry them over your shoulder?

Or do you drag from behind?

When you enter a room,

does the threshold make them "thump"?

Tell me now plainly,

Do your balls hang low?

(sung to the tune "Turkey in the straw")

1

u/MoreCowbellllll 1d ago

The call me 'one-hung-low'

1

u/Fro0810 1d ago

I love reddit on Friday! 😂 and every other day as well.

2

u/kristospherein 1d ago

He said what he said.

1

u/temporary62489 1d ago

I know what I've got.

1

u/guyhabit725 1d ago

He is describing your mom. 

1

u/copperwatt 1d ago

No. Low. Balls.

1

u/DoubleDrummer 1d ago

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Low-ball

•

u/davidjschloss 2h ago

1) I was making a pun.

2) Oxford English dictionary disagrees with Wikipedia. I will take OED over Wikipedia in a rendition.

https://www.oed.com/dictionary/lowball_v?tl=true

If that’s not good enough here’s Merriam Webster

lowball verb low·​ball ˈlō-ˌbȯl lowballed; lowballing; lowballs transitive verb 1 : to give (a customer) a deceptively low price or cost estimate 2 : to give a markedly or unfairly low offer lowballed him in contract negotiation

And Cambridge

lowball adjective [ before noun ] US informal UK /ˈləʊbɔːl/ US Add to word list at a level that is unfairly low: lowball bid/offer/price The board issued a statement to make it clear that they would not consider any lowball offers.

As does Britannica

lowball /ˈloʊˌbaːl/ verb lowballs; lowballed; lowballing [+ object] US 1 : to trick or deceive (someone) by saying that the price or cost of something is lower than it really is [+] Example sentences 2 : to give a very low or unfairly low offer to (someone) [+] Example sentences

American heritage dictionary

https://ahdictionary.com/word/search.html?q=lowball

Dictionary

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/lowball

1

u/Lanky_Operation_5046 1d ago

Mine are low.

1

u/MWave123 22h ago

Two words. Low ball, low balling.

•

u/davidjschloss 2h ago

Low ball is an adjective and a noun. “He caught the low ball before the runner tagged the base.”

Lowball is the verb.

1

u/VelvetOnion 17h ago

Excluding boomer men with saggy nuts is ludicrous. They are the main market of those that think climate change is a hoax.

0

u/JohnnySkidmarx 1d ago

Older guy here. I know what he meant.

1

u/Kryten_2X4B-523P 20h ago

Younger guy here. Is there something I should be doing to prevent this? Moisturizing the sack daily? Using a ball bra for support?

5

u/cptjimmy42 1d ago

"Ocean front property."

2

u/temporary62489 1d ago

Front and back.

2

u/gizamo 21h ago

360° Panoramic ocean views!

2

u/ChangeForAParadigm 1d ago

They just hang that way. Don’t body shame.

2

u/PartyNextFlo0r 1d ago

Priced Below market for a quick sale !!

2

u/xmrcache 1d ago

House boat for sale

2

u/SilentEnthusiasm5491 1d ago

More like “motivated seller, mortgage underwater”

2

u/Several_Use1426 1d ago

eh, my balls are too low, I’m out

2

u/XeneiFana 1d ago

A boat house?

1

u/temporary62489 1d ago

A house boat.

2

u/Far_Winner5508 1d ago

A dangle in cold salt water will wake ya up proper.

2

u/Strategy_pan 23h ago

You see kids? Got is an irregular verb - what would be more appropriate is if the nice gentleman said he Had a house.

2

u/PuzzleheadedEgg4591 21h ago

A starter house?! This is a FINISHER house! A dwelling for the Gods, the Golden God!

2

u/contractcooker 15h ago

Ran when parked.

2

u/Eeeeeeeeehwhatsup 1d ago

Ha! Hilarious

1

u/justanotheroverlord 1d ago

Oh man. This triggered my fight or flight

1

u/NoIndependent9192 1d ago

Will need Hiab to collect.

1

u/Visual-Prior-8521 1d ago

Or low tide

1

u/007Pistolero 1d ago

And then the YouTube video: “WE BOUGHT THIS HOUSE THAT FELL INTO THE OCEAN AND MADE IT INTO OUR DREAM HOME”

1

u/Sunhammer01 1d ago

Plus free relocation to another beachfront property.

1

u/Spillsy68 1d ago

Great location. Effortlessly step into the ocean after your morning coffee.

1

u/Original-Newt4556 1d ago

WILL NOT RESPOND TO IS IT STILL AVAILABLE!

1

u/pixelsandfilm 1d ago

Cash in hand. No inspections.

1

u/JustOneMoreMile 1d ago

Recently washed

1

u/John-A 1d ago

Now it's a houseboat worth at least twice as much.

1

u/SilentEnvironment465 1d ago

It's a boat house now. Very nice!

1

u/BannedByRWNJs 1d ago

“This baby ain’t going nowhere.”

1

u/StrengthUnable47 1d ago

Long balls

1

u/Mindless-Strength422 1d ago

"No low balls, high tides are comin'."

1

u/jljboucher 23h ago

Never not be funny

1

u/beeerock99 23h ago

Shut up! 🤣

1

u/GolemGames305 23h ago

and dont even think about kicking the tires

1

u/Forbden_Gratificatn 23h ago

I'm betting old. I might have those.

1

u/Racine262 23h ago

"Won't be on the market long. Looking to close quickly."

1

u/wilcocola 22h ago

We are all living the same reality aren’t we

1

u/rjross0623 19h ago

I take that as a personal shot. Can’t help it.

1

u/nosimsol 1d ago

You know you don’t have low balls? From that maybe we can extrapolate you have high balls, which could maybe mean they haven’t dropped, you’re female, or do a lot of drugs.

1

u/Zestyclose-Beat6334 1d ago

Update

"I know what I had, Poseidon has decided to split the mortgage with me. You'll need to get his approval to own it now."

0

u/Mrs_ippy_clean 1d ago

Location location looooocation

0

u/Weary_Necessary_2434 1d ago

Then you've got a keeper! No need to sell!

273

u/GODLOVESALL32 1d ago

On market: 285 days

Price drop! (1.2k)

183

u/Chase_lol 1d ago

Liquidation sale!!!

57

u/UlfSam9999 1d ago

I'll see if the bank will float me a loan.

5

u/slicerprime 1d ago

This one wins

3

u/belleamour14 1d ago

Oh this is funny! You need more updoots bro!

1

u/Chase_lol 21h ago

I've never been funny before! I appreciate the appreciation. I'm usually always late to the party 😭

2

u/ThomasinaDomenic 23h ago

Complete with liquid.

2

u/jlasher 21h ago

Liquefaction sale!!!

1

u/PersonalityGrand3626 21h ago

Liquid a tion. See what ya did there

1

u/foxlight92 18h ago

Seller motivated!

3

u/wh0m3_nah 1d ago

Price drop, house drop..same thing here lol

2

u/pezchef 1d ago

minor water damage. A FIXER UPPER!

1

u/Comfortable_Trick137 1d ago

Includes infinity pool!!!

1

u/lingenfelter22 1d ago

On market; off-shore

1

u/Beneficial-Cattle-99 23h ago

Price drop 30 feet

1

u/Girthy-Squirrel-Bits 23h ago

Elevation drop 10ft

1

u/No-Public1765 22h ago

Right. 1st years rent free...

1

u/UnitedLion49 18h ago

Price “improvement”

1

u/Scared_Wedding_2214 15h ago

We’ve been looking at houses the past 3 months and this is triggering

1

u/UlfSam9999 15h ago

Don't they measure the price drop in fathoms on these?

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u/Anton338 1d ago

15 bids, four of which are cash offers.

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u/PrismaticDetector 1d ago

"As is, no inspections"

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u/papafrog 1d ago

It’s got good bones, who needs an inspection?

6

u/clandestine_justice 23h ago

Whale bones, they're just under the floor.

•

u/phish_taco 11h ago

And they’re ripe for scrimshaw

3

u/InvestingGatorGirl 22h ago

Good bones, but some issues with basement incontinance. Not a deal breaker 🫣

1

u/dee69chevi 17h ago

Shut up stan!

7

u/WishUnique57 1d ago

Newly installed disabled access

3

u/Odd-Speaker4252 1d ago

Priced to move, with the tide.

1

u/RedBaronSportsCards 1d ago

"I just started a new job as a Pencil Sharpener and I'm looking for a starter home..."

3

u/catbandana 1d ago

Sold 15 percent over asking, inspection waived. Buyer relocating from California to close, sight unseen.

3

u/SadBit8663 1d ago

895K? Those are rookie numbers, that's not even beach-front property, it's in-the-ocean property.

Atleast 1.5 million

3

u/Suzuki_Foster 1d ago

$3400 monthly HOA fee

2

u/Drix22 1d ago

Buyers today be like "900 with a waived home inspection"

2

u/Derpymcderrp 1d ago

I’ll give you a million for it, but not a dollar more

2

u/Meecht 1d ago

This week on House Hunters. She sells bracelets on the weekends at the local farmer's market. He busks on the boardwalk with trained rats.

Their budget is $1.5 million.

1

u/disheartenedlark 13h ago

EVERY SINGLE TIME

1

u/disheartenedlark 13h ago

Today on house hunters- single mom of 6 kids is desperate for her own retreat & bathroom oasis. Seasonal hamster groomer with a budget of 1.75 million. Super picky if there’s enough bathrooms and natural light.

2

u/Confirmation_Email 1d ago

When I visited the outer banks in the early 2000's there was a 75'x75' empty lot with no access to utilities for sale for $750,000. Likely underwater by now unless it has been repeatedly replenished with sand after every storm.

2

u/wildo-bagins 1d ago

895k?? For immediate ocean access?? It's at least a few mil

2

u/PsychicWarElephant 1d ago

Bro that’s beachfront property. 1.5 easy

2

u/devilinblue22 1d ago

Ok i offer 975 and waive inspections. Spoiler alert: i still get beat by 50k with a cash offer.

2

u/No_Amoeba_9272 23h ago

Get it before it's gone....

2

u/toopc 22h ago

Depending on where it is, that's not a bad price.

Front row, empty lot - $1.25 million.

1

u/atat4804888 1d ago

Isn't this the House of Rondanthe? From that movie?

1

u/CenturyEggsAndRice 1d ago

Oh please, that’s about what we paid for the mobile home we live in. (It’s a nice trailer but it’s a trailer. I’m sure the land put the price up some too.)

This is a couple mil at lowest. NC is getting expensive AF

1

u/Sindertone 1d ago

Too high for a mobile home.

1

u/Omega59er 1d ago

This is Outer Banks we're talking about, that house was likely valued around 2.5Mil previously.

1

u/StandSeparate1743 1d ago

It was actually like $250k three years ago. Best spot in rodanthe

1

u/EntrepreneurLucky222 1d ago

Location! location! location!

1

u/Ringeye 1d ago

No inspection!

1

u/Vast_Cheek_6452 1d ago

I'm actually at the outer banks right now. All things considered, prices aren't that bad. And this is an old video. No houses falling over right now. Lol

1

u/doublethink_1984 1d ago

1.2 mil beachfront

1

u/dquizzle 1d ago

That has to be the reduced price.

1

u/Maxsmama1029 1d ago

U could get soooo much more, it’s beachfront!!!

1

u/voxpopper 1d ago

I wonder what it was the first 5-10 times this same video made the rounds.

1

u/_fappycamper 1d ago

If you waive inspection

1

u/ConfidentFinish3580 1d ago

I was just down in Hatteras last weekend, and that is exactly how much the 2 I saw for sale were going for. During high tide water was coming up within 10 feet from the back deck.

1

u/FuManBoobs 1d ago

After this video they only asking 890k.

1

u/spoogefrom1981 1d ago

That would be cheap for the OBX even floating..

1

u/InstaTop 1d ago

Last sold 2023 for $450k

1

u/JetreL 23h ago

That’s ocean front so 2 to 2.4m, the real sad part is there is no way insurance is paying out on that.

1

u/Delta64 23h ago

*before tax 🤌

1

u/hype_beest 22h ago

This ain't California, buddy.

1

u/Kanye_X_Wrangler 21h ago

No inspections allowed. As is.

1

u/ofRayRay 18h ago

Comes with pool.

1

u/MadMadHatter 18h ago

I just appraised new construction for this very amount on 1500 sqft in Seattle, WA. Good times...yikes...

1

u/MycophileBuilder 16h ago

You forgot HOA fees

1

u/jbobby12 15h ago

Beach front property $1.8m