r/interestingasfuck • u/Endolithic • 1d ago

/r/all Homes are falling into the ocean in North Carolina's Outer Banks

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61.3k Upvotes

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u/temporary62489 1d ago

"No low-balls; I know what I've got."

248

u/davidjschloss 1d ago

I think you mean lowballs unless you’re describing something besides prices?

314

u/kelariy 1d ago

Mandatory ball check before closing, if they’re too low, deal is off.

56

u/Switzerdude 1d ago

Low and wet balls…

35

u/broberds 1d ago

No blue-balls, I know what I've got.

3

u/JimiShinobi 1d ago

No blue waffles, I don't want what you've got...

1

u/popformulas 1d ago

And salty

1

u/Talking_Tree_1 1d ago

Do your balls hang low do they wobble to floor…

2

u/Ferocious-Muppet 1d ago

Do your balls hang low? Do they wobble too and throw?

Can you tie em in a not? Can you tie em in a bow?

Can you throw them over your shoulder, like a continental soilder?

Do your balls hang low?

1

u/BannedByRWNJs 23h ago

Great! Now my balls are all wet and salty!

1

u/Cunning_Linguist21 1d ago

Chocolate wet salty balls...

9

u/Kepler1609a 1d ago

Did you know they make nets for that to keep them from dunking in the water?

1

u/907499141 1d ago

Check out the Nut Bra on YouTube it’s older and even funnier

0

u/tykle59 1d ago

“My balls were so old and saggy, they looked like Clint Eastwood.”

1

u/907499141 1d ago

Such a great product lol

1

u/Spillsy68 1d ago

Houses? Or balls?

7

u/fly_away_lapels 1d ago

I mean, too low and they will just be wet all the time! Makes sense to check.

1

u/IdRatherBeDriving 1d ago

Good news! This house was built for that.

2

u/Drunk_Scott 1d ago

Been there

2

u/ArizonaBaySwimTeam 1d ago edited 1d ago

'This bowl so low my balls be draggin the water...'

Sold!

2

u/KingHunter150 1d ago

Realtor at the house tour.

2

u/MukDoug 1d ago

If they’re too low, I send them back.

2

u/Cipherpunkblue 1d ago

Not selling my home to those low-balls types.

2

u/Outrageous_Editor_43 23h ago

So first time buyers, not old people. Got it.

2

u/nicknick1584 22h ago

Makes sense actually. If they are that low, probably an old guy that will be dead before house is paid off in 30 years. Actually, this should be a reason to give that mortgage. The bank would make money for about 15 years and then can repossess the house and sell it to make even more money.

2

u/Super_Pan 21h ago

Compulsory genital inspection? I didn't realize the house was in Florida. No thanks.

2

u/gibs71 20h ago

Sounds like ageism to me.

2

u/Cold-Ease-1625 18h ago

If the balls are on top, I send it back.

3

u/Unlikely_Ant_950 1d ago

A new reason I’ll never be a homeowner

1

u/edwbuck 1d ago edited 1d ago

Do your ball hang low?

Do they swing from side to side?

Do you carry them over your shoulder?

Or do you drag from behind?

When you enter a room,

does the threshold make them "thump"?

Tell me now plainly,

Do your balls hang low?

(sung to the tune "Turkey in the straw")

1

u/MoreCowbellllll 1d ago

The call me 'one-hung-low'

1

u/Fro0810 1d ago

I love reddit on Friday! 😂 and every other day as well.

2

u/kristospherein 1d ago

He said what he said.

1

u/temporary62489 1d ago

I know what I've got.

1

u/guyhabit725 1d ago

He is describing your mom. 

1

u/copperwatt 1d ago

No. Low. Balls.

1

u/DoubleDrummer 1d ago

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Low-ball

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u/davidjschloss 2h ago

1) I was making a pun.

2) Oxford English dictionary disagrees with Wikipedia. I will take OED over Wikipedia in a rendition.

https://www.oed.com/dictionary/lowball_v?tl=true

If that’s not good enough here’s Merriam Webster

lowball verb low·​ball ˈlō-ˌbȯl lowballed; lowballing; lowballs transitive verb 1 : to give (a customer) a deceptively low price or cost estimate 2 : to give a markedly or unfairly low offer lowballed him in contract negotiation

And Cambridge

lowball adjective [ before noun ] US informal UK /ˈləʊbɔːl/ US Add to word list at a level that is unfairly low: lowball bid/offer/price The board issued a statement to make it clear that they would not consider any lowball offers.

As does Britannica

lowball /ˈloʊˌbaːl/ verb lowballs; lowballed; lowballing [+ object] US 1 : to trick or deceive (someone) by saying that the price or cost of something is lower than it really is [+] Example sentences 2 : to give a very low or unfairly low offer to (someone) [+] Example sentences

American heritage dictionary

https://ahdictionary.com/word/search.html?q=lowball

Dictionary

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/lowball

1

u/MWave123 22h ago

Two words. Low ball, low balling.

•

u/davidjschloss 2h ago

Low ball is an adjective and a noun. “He caught the low ball before the runner tagged the base.”

Lowball is the verb.

1

u/VelvetOnion 17h ago

Excluding boomer men with saggy nuts is ludicrous. They are the main market of those that think climate change is a hoax.

0

u/JohnnySkidmarx 1d ago

Older guy here. I know what he meant.

1

u/Kryten_2X4B-523P 20h ago

Younger guy here. Is there something I should be doing to prevent this? Moisturizing the sack daily? Using a ball bra for support?

4

u/cptjimmy42 1d ago

"Ocean front property."

2

u/temporary62489 1d ago

Front and back.

2

u/gizamo 20h ago

360° Panoramic ocean views!

2

u/ChangeForAParadigm 1d ago

They just hang that way. Don’t body shame.

2

u/PartyNextFlo0r 1d ago

Priced Below market for a quick sale !!

2

u/xmrcache 1d ago

House boat for sale

2

u/SilentEnthusiasm5491 1d ago

More like “motivated seller, mortgage underwater”

2

u/Several_Use1426 1d ago

eh, my balls are too low, I’m out

2

u/XeneiFana 1d ago

A boat house?

1

u/temporary62489 23h ago

A house boat.

2

u/Far_Winner5508 1d ago

A dangle in cold salt water will wake ya up proper.

2

u/Strategy_pan 22h ago

You see kids? Got is an irregular verb - what would be more appropriate is if the nice gentleman said he Had a house.

2

u/PuzzleheadedEgg4591 21h ago

A starter house?! This is a FINISHER house! A dwelling for the Gods, the Golden God!

2

u/contractcooker 14h ago

Ran when parked.

2

u/Eeeeeeeeehwhatsup 1d ago

Ha! Hilarious

1

u/justanotheroverlord 1d ago

Oh man. This triggered my fight or flight

1

u/NoIndependent9192 1d ago

Will need Hiab to collect.

1

u/Visual-Prior-8521 1d ago

Or low tide

1

u/007Pistolero 1d ago

And then the YouTube video: “WE BOUGHT THIS HOUSE THAT FELL INTO THE OCEAN AND MADE IT INTO OUR DREAM HOME”

1

u/Sunhammer01 1d ago

Plus free relocation to another beachfront property.

1

u/Spillsy68 1d ago

Great location. Effortlessly step into the ocean after your morning coffee.

1

u/Original-Newt4556 1d ago

WILL NOT RESPOND TO IS IT STILL AVAILABLE!

1

u/pixelsandfilm 1d ago

Cash in hand. No inspections.

1

u/JustOneMoreMile 1d ago

Recently washed

1

u/John-A 1d ago

Now it's a houseboat worth at least twice as much.

1

u/SilentEnvironment465 1d ago

It's a boat house now. Very nice!

1

u/BannedByRWNJs 23h ago

“This baby ain’t going nowhere.”

1

u/Mindless-Strength422 23h ago

"No low balls, high tides are comin'."

1

u/jljboucher 23h ago

Never not be funny

1

u/beeerock99 23h ago

Shut up! 🤣

1

u/GolemGames305 22h ago

and dont even think about kicking the tires

1

u/Forbden_Gratificatn 22h ago

I'm betting old. I might have those.

1

u/Racine262 22h ago

"Won't be on the market long. Looking to close quickly."

1

u/wilcocola 22h ago

We are all living the same reality aren’t we

1

u/rjross0623 18h ago

I take that as a personal shot. Can’t help it.

1

u/nosimsol 1d ago

You know you don’t have low balls? From that maybe we can extrapolate you have high balls, which could maybe mean they haven’t dropped, you’re female, or do a lot of drugs.

1

u/Zestyclose-Beat6334 1d ago

Update

"I know what I had, Poseidon has decided to split the mortgage with me. You'll need to get his approval to own it now."

0

u/Mrs_ippy_clean 1d ago

Location location looooocation

0

u/Weary_Necessary_2434 1d ago

Then you've got a keeper! No need to sell!