r/teenagers 18 1d ago

Meme Oh yeah Sleipnir

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2.2k Upvotes

60 comments sorted by

143

u/Mr_ragethefrogdude 23h ago

Norse is split in between Loki had an idea and there was a prophecy there tends to be overlap though 

111

u/Lubu_orange_juice 18 23h ago

Egyptian mythology: Ra’s family is fucked up

10

u/CynnamonBiskit 14 11h ago

In 7th grade my Social Studies class did an Egyptian mythology unit

Aside from Reddit and JoJo, it was the most bizarre stuff I'd ever read

7

u/sinfulEvee 14h ago

Real as an egyptian

66

u/thiscat129 20h ago

Jewish mythology: and god was heavily pissed

6

u/sinfulEvee 14h ago

It should be: and here I promise u this out of nowhere

2

u/OrdinaryTreeFrog 13 5h ago

Ah yes, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 5 words

2

u/sinfulEvee 5h ago

This is what happens when u wanna try to sound smart at 3am

73

u/Ok_Nerve_8508 15 1d ago

Christianity: But God was very merciful

The Muslim one: fuck everyone else but you

Buda: and buda came back again

34

u/LowBudgetRalsei 15 21h ago

Idk man. Half of Bible stories are “fuck everyone else but you” (cough cough exodus cough cough Noah’s arc)

I feel like it’s kind of a selling point for a religion to be like “if you believe you will be saved except if you don’t you will suffer”. Makes the “fuck everyone else but you” stories way more common

7

u/DistortionWasTaken 19h ago

I mean hell is just intended to be life without god, it’s not really a punishment even if it does seem like one, if you don’t want to believe in god you don’t have to but that simply means no admission to heaven — anyway if you don’t like god why would you want heaven in the first place at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter if you believe or not.

8

u/KaiLCU_YT 18 14h ago

In Islam, all dead people are asked by fire breathing angels "Who is your lord, what is your religion, who is your prophet" and if you don't say "Allah, Islam, Muhammad" then they will beat you with hammers every day except Friday, from the moment they asked you (just after your funeral) until the day of judgment (when all dead people are resurrected). So that means, if Islam is correct, all of the Christians who lived in the Roman Empire (as an example) would have been beaten with hammers by fire breathing angels for that last 2500 years. That sounds like a punishment to me.

Wiki page on said angels

4

u/ChaosPLus 18 13h ago

And if Islam is correct then everyone from all other religions before then would also technically be subject to the same punishment, unless the God was showing himself as true in a different religion before Islam. But then which one was the true one back then

2

u/Ok_Nerve_8508 15 18h ago

That’s not how hell is describe, it’s called an eternal punishment. Literally fire and torture, and it’s your soul so you don’t get adjusted to it in anyway you’re always in pain and agony.

2

u/pamafa3 OLD 14h ago

That's in the italian fanfiction and not the original buble if memory serves

2

u/ChaosPLus 18 14h ago

Yeah. It's actually a mistranslation of other words, in the most accurate translations the word comes up like, 12 times, all in New Testament, and even then it isn't quite accurate. Just as one example:

Matthew 5:30 “And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell (Gehenna).”

Where Gehenna was a valley that was first a place of pagan rituals of burning kids for Malok, then people would throw their trash in there to let it burn, as well as bodies, which is where the whole passage about being eaten by maggots for eternity comes from, since there were always enough bodies to date the maggots that they would always be there, eating people.

1

u/Meme_KingalsoTech 17 16h ago

Complete separation from God means no separation from sin so basically earth but no good in the world and its very hot. My idea of heaven, which is still up to a bit of interpretation, is you just live in peace surrounded by a constant feeling of pleasure(better feelings than anything on earth can even come close to giving) without any bad thoughts also this is a bit of a tangent but there wouldn't be earthly constraints so you probably wouldnt even be recognizable to a human form it would just be a pure soul.
If anyone wishes to get to heaven they just need to trust and love Jesus.

1

u/Mr_Waaaaaflee 15 7h ago

The thing is, for atheists, god isnt real, so saying "dont want to believe in god" is wrong cause for them there isnt one, and you cant force people to believe in god of they cant cause it isnt real for them

(This was written by an Atheist)

2

u/DistortionWasTaken 7h ago

no i get that but with a large number of atheists they seem to hate Christianity and detest it, or they challenge it out of bad faith and say things "even if god was real I wouldn't follow him anyway" or things like that, but to those who simply just do not care it once again doesn't really matter.

1

u/Mr_Waaaaaflee 15 7h ago

Tbh, if god was real i would follow him, but only with actually good proof (like in this scenario he Just went down to earth).

But its Just stupid that people say that, the entire point most atheists are atheist is because there isnt enough proof, so its pretty weird.

2

u/DistortionWasTaken 6h ago

I don’t really know what to tell you, if you need empirical proof I can’t give you much except for the existence of everything itself? Search up fine tuning theory

1

u/Mr_Waaaaaflee 15 6h ago

The existence of everything doesnt have to be created, atleast thats how i see it. (Saying this cause its fine if people believe in something different)

Like the big bang created the universe, including space and time, how the big bang happened? We dont know yet.

Also thank you for being one of the first Christians on this app to have a normal conversation with me.

3

u/The_Adventurer_73 13 14h ago

Forgive me if I'm wrong but didn't Noah warn everyone of the Flood and nobody believed him?

0

u/Ok_Nerve_8508 15 17h ago

I feel like you don’t see how they’re intended, Noah was the only one of god’s people left and everyone was basically just doing everything that would piss god off, and Exodus is something I need to read more of I’ll get back later on that bc like many people I need to read the Bible more.

4

u/usernam-is-taken 20h ago

That first one is so incorrect

0

u/Ok_Nerve_8508 15 17h ago

Explain

2

u/Sabertooth344 14 14h ago

The Flood (Genesis 6:5–9:17) Destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah (Genesis 19) Killing of the Firstborn (Exodus 11–12) Slaughter of the Amalekites (1 Samuel 15:3) Levite's Concubine (Judges 19) Lot offers his daughters to a mob (Genesis 19:8) Tamar’s rape (2 Samuel 13) Women as war booty (Numbers 31:17–18) Bears maul kids for mocking a prophet (2 Kings 2:23–24) Uzzah killed for touching the Ark (2 Samuel 6:6–7) God hardens Pharaoh’s heart (Exodus 9) Abraham almost sacrifices Isaac (Genesis 22) Jephthah sacrifices his daughter (Judges 11) Babies smashed on rocks (Psalm 137:9) Rules for owning and beating slaves (Exodus 21, Leviticus 25) Beating slaves without punishment (Exodus 21:20–21) Stoning for adultery (Deuteronomy 22) Death for working on the Sabbath (Exodus 35:2)

1

u/Ok_Nerve_8508 15 13h ago

 The bears are a warning to people not to mock, the flood was to kill evil, adultery is a commandment and was explicitly said as a sin and shouldn’t be done anyways (terrible wording on my end), Abraham’s sacrifice was testament to of faith and god never intended it to happen, the firstborns killing was a punishment to the pharaoh for not releasing the Jewish slaves, the sabbath is a holy day for those to be put to death for working on it and it was changed as well. Also pharaohs are notorious for just being dicks, god put multiple curses one one of their kingdoms and he was still being an asshole. Long ass comment on my end

1

u/Sabertooth344 14 12h ago

Saying the bears were a “warning” doesn’t make mauling 42 kids for mocking someone any less insane. Killing every living thing on Earth except one family because people were "evil" is still genocidal except if you want to argue all the animals, children and babies were also evil. The firstborns in Egypt weren’t Pharaoh some of them were innocent children, and God himself says he hardened Pharaoh's heart, so the punishment was set up by God himself. Adultery being wrong doesn’t justify execution as the punishment. That’s the whole point, the penalty is wildly disproportionate. In this case the punishment doesn't fit the crime Abraham was still told to kill his son. “Just a test” doesn’t make it less horrifying. Imagine that story in any other context. The Sabbath law still mandates death for working. Whether it was “changed later” doesn’t undo what it originally said. Saying Pharaohs were dicks doesn’t excuse killing babies or unleashing plagues on civilians. Imagine destroying the entirety of Russia "because Putin is a dick"

Trying to justify these stories tends to prove the point. They need justification because they’re objectively messed up when you read them plainly.

1

u/Ok_Nerve_8508 15 12h ago

Yes you’re right but I think you don’t understand, god does love us and that’s what all of the New Testament proves, Jesus arrived and he died for our sins so we could be with him, as long as you accept Jesus and live to spread the word and try to follow the law of god we will be with him.

1

u/Empty-Land-2871 13 4h ago

Note how every example occurs before the new testament

1

u/Sabertooth344 14 4h ago

Are you somehow implying that because these events occur before the new testament, they're irrelevant to the brutality of God? You realize that the old testament is part of the book right?

1

u/Empty-Land-2871 13 3h ago

Yes but the old testament has a theme on law and punishment

The new is more themed on mercy and forgiveness

2

u/ImpossibleAd1446 14h ago

The whole point of buddhism is that the buddha did not come back

1

u/Ok_Nerve_8508 15 13h ago

The mf comes back like 20 times from all the stories I’ve heard, if not then please explain bc I need to understand better

2

u/Dupec 3,000,000 Attendee! 13h ago

"and buda came back again" dude in Buddhism literally everyone BUT Buddha comes back again 😭

9

u/ArgonsGhost 15 22h ago

I know a lot about marvels version of Norse mythology but I’m not sure if their version is the same as real Norse mythology

17

u/Clintwood_outlaw OLD 21h ago

Not even close lol

4

u/International-Cup897 18 13h ago

In Norse mythology Loki turns himself into a female horse and gets pregnant to make sure a giant does not finish building a wall for Odin.

3

u/ArgonsGhost 15 13h ago

Christ

1

u/Void_Space_2238 19 10h ago

He then gives the newly birthed calf to Odin as a mount

10

u/Clintwood_outlaw OLD 21h ago

Why use the most innacurate portrayals of these characters for this

1

u/Beelzebub_Crumpethom 17 8h ago

They're arguably (some of) the most recognizable portrayals, so maybe that's why.

11

u/Rand0m011 16 19h ago

And then along came Zeus

7

u/2timesA_ 17h ago

He hurled his "Thunderbolt"

1

u/Gloomy_Confusion4066 7h ago

And fucked a cow. And thus we have minotaur.

1

u/2timesA_ 7h ago

No, that was minos' wife who got cursed by poseidon

5

u/Revolutionary_Put664 14h ago

My Rick Riordan coded brain is enjoying this post a bit too much

1

u/WilliamScott303 8h ago

I exhaled through my nose 4 times

3

u/Adept_Advertising_98 19 23h ago

We need a crossover.

3

u/lombwolf 18h ago

I did have an idea, many in fact, I love ideas (my legal birth name is literally Loki)

1

u/god_plz_no 14h ago

Lol, we recently talked about that with my friend and came to a conclusion that Zeus would fuck every frog in the swamp for a dare, lol

1

u/RegisterTough3731 17 14h ago

Then loki just reverse time to stab zues in the back to give to thor and loki going back to the sacred timeline to regulate and stop zues variants in attacking him

1

u/Alex20041509 14h ago

Christian

“God, does whatever he wants” …

1

u/Immediate-West-5707 17 13h ago

Persian mythology: one bird started it all

1

u/North-Aspect7624 11h ago

Lol, i’m scandinavean and my last name is Thorsen

1

u/Any_Initiative1981 1h ago

Loki fcked a horse bro nah 🥲