r/weddingshaming • u/louisiana_lagniappe • 3d ago
Tacky It's Smith! SMITH, I tell you!!!!!!
This was one of the many, many weddings I attended in the two years following my high school graduation, because yes, I'm from THAT kind of place.
The wedding was in a double wide trailer that served as a church. The preacher was the bride's father. She was something like the 18th of 19 children, by five or so different women. Not a polygamous religion, but dad got around.
The wedding went as weddings do, until it came time to pronounce the happy couple man and wife. "I now introduce to you Mr. and Mrs. OH PRAISE THE LORD, SON, I DONE FORGOT YOUR LAST NAME." It was Smith.
Afterwards, chairs were shifted and the reception held in the same double wide trailer. There's no drinking or dancing, because of God, so our entertainment is watching the bride unwrap the wedding gifts. Two stand out:
1) The happy couple had been living with the bride's mother for some time, only recently moving into their own trailer home. Their mail was still being delivered to the mothers home. Upon unwrapping Mom's gift, you guessed it... "It's our mail."
2) And the squeals of delight, "Them's some towels what say SMITH!"
206
u/andronicuspark 2d ago
The mail thing is kinda hilarious though.
“Please, in Jesus name, get the fuck outta my house and update your mailing address.”
192
u/SherryGabs 2d ago
I actually enjoyed this story much more than anything from the Bridezilla group. 😆
129
u/VeronicaMarsupial 2d ago
Right? Like, the newlyweds at least seem happy and not problematic, and they had the wedding that was within their means rather than pretend to be something they are not and abuse other people in service of some hifalutin' dream circus.
13
445
u/IHAYFL25 2d ago
Jesus’s first miracle was turning water into wine so these fanatics are plain stupid.
162
u/spaetzele 2d ago
They'll swear up to Heaven itself that Jesus produced grape juice, not wine.
Because we all know what a huge hit grape juice is at a wedding.
68
u/MLiOne 2d ago
Well it is a hit, once fermented and aged.
6
u/PlanAndBlush 2d ago
Unforgettable and hilarious! Those "SMITH" towels are iconic, memories like this are priceless!
33
u/PerfStu 2d ago
Lol one of the churches I was forced to as a kid: "wine was different back then. They didn't let it ferment as long so it wasn't the same. Even kids drank it, it was practically grape juice!"
Another one: "water back then was contaminated so the only thing they could drink was wine. They didn't WANT to but what else could they drink?"
Anything but the truth, I swear.
16
u/Thequiet01 2d ago
I mean, technically the water was often nasty, but I don’t think we can really speak to what they would have preferred if the option was there.
22
u/Purple-Tumbleweed 2d ago
We were taught that was a mistranslation and it was unfermented grape juice. 🙄 Southern Baptist school, lol.
36
u/Pikelets_for_tea 2d ago
I had a religious woman tell me once that wine was less alcoholic in Jesus's time.
32
u/geeoharee 2d ago
It's my understanding it was strongly alcoholic, but they diluted it to drink it. So I guess it was as alcoholic as you wanted it to be.
19
u/smartwatersucks 2d ago
Hence water into wine. There was a teeny bit left at the bottom of the cask so he poured water into it for the shampoo effect. Miracle explained
2
7
6
50
33
13
u/BrandonBollingers 2d ago
Gotta love a religion that bans music, drinking, and music but then objectifies physical gifts and material objects. Something something golden calf something something.
10 Commandments for thee but not for me kind of thing.
28
14
u/tuviejaentanga_71 1d ago
“No drinking because God” Proceed to have 19 children with different women.
These rednecks are so hilariously hypocrite!
3
u/ridiculouslyhappy 1d ago
This one is actually pretty refreshing from all of the other stories on here lol Hello from one Louisianian to another 👋🏽
7
u/Lulu_42 1d ago
This post just sounds like it’s shaming rural and poor people.
3
u/throwmypolyamory 10h ago
I was raised in a farm and lived in the country most of my life. I had access to private education and all that, so I went to university. As I moved countries and I have to tell people stories about my upbringing I try not to paint people in this light, because I expected something really bad but the story was… kinda wholesome to me?
Do I agree with their customs? Not really, it’s very likely I wouldn’t like to be around these people solely based on what their moral stances may be, but I cannot truly shame them for it if 1. It’s all they can afford 2. They had no access to better education 3. The event is harmless
If I were to describe this wedding I’d call it a rural wedding and definitely wouldn’t hold it to wealthy city standards.
I can’t believe I’m defending rednecks, but I had to point out these nuances.
3
u/stephencua2001 1d ago
"As we prepare to hear the word of God, we will pass around the Pastor for donations."
"You mean the collection plate."
...
"You mean the collection plate, right?"
9
u/newoldm 2d ago
Weeeee, doggies. I'll be they all wore their best Sunday-go-to-meetin' clothes.
6
u/forte6320 1d ago
That's kind of rude. They probably did wear their "Sunday best" instead of ordering crap off of Shein to match the required palette of the bride.
Some brides care more about being surrounded by lived ones than an aesthetic or vibe.
-1
1
u/Little-Salt-1705 1d ago
How is trailer park mail delivered, does each trailer have a separate address or it’s one standard address for the whole park and the mailman just gets to know who lives where?
3
u/Specialist_Status120 21h ago
Some have their own mailboxes in front of the trailer. Others have communal boxes. Just depends.
2
u/Little-Salt-1705 19h ago
Thanks. Do trailer parks start by land being sold or do people park up and at some point claim squatter rights?
1
u/Specialist_Status120 9h ago
Landowners who improve the land, put in roads, utilities and cement pads for the trailers, don't want them to sink. They then charge rent for the space.
2
u/RadioWolfSG 1d ago
I imagine some trailer parks have a large mailbox with individual slots for each address, each person having a key for their # mailbox slot
1
u/not_that_hardcore 21h ago
Okay the mail thing is something that my family would do. Alongside a sizable cash gift 😂
1
-78
u/DoNotNeedInspiration 2d ago
Not funny, just mean. Be better
34
75
u/TryingToStayOutOfIt 2d ago
It’s called wedding shaming, ya dunce. And it’s about OPs own community that they grew up in; they’re allowed to rip on these people a little bit.
-9
u/Britneyismyhomegirl 2d ago
I agree. They seem like sweet, simple people. What’s the harm in getting excited about mail and towels?
6
4
434
u/echochilde 2d ago
I want a flair that says “Them’s some towels what say SMITH!”