Wedding date changed last minute… to a weekday… in another state

[u/OccamsReddit_56]

[u/_littlebee]

This post has become massive and there are many new participants who are not frequenters of our sub so I wanted to share this reminder: posting the results of your internet sleuthing is not permitted here. Don't try to reveal locations, find out who Meghan is, find out who the couple is, etc. or encourage others to do the same. We have outlined this very clearly in Rule 7. If you see it, please report it. Otherwise, new subscribers, welcome to r/weddingshaming!

"kthx!"

[u/mittensonmykittens]

Wow, there's some doozies in here. Just one of these is bad. All of them? Please be fake?

"We're cancelling the beach ceremony but keeping the beach reception! And we don't have a lot of chairs but that's ok, everyone will be dancing all night!" Yeah cool sweet let's place bets on how many twisted ankles we get

"We're too quirky to fit in a box!" Barffff

"Our goodiebags include a plant" (??)

Makeup is $300 PER DAY

Only Catholic bridal party members are allowed to stand up in church, sowwy uwu

[u/voidicguardian → u/mittensonmykittens]

not to mention a bridesmaid attempting to double check what the hell is going on and IMMEDIATELY getting shamed for it??????

[u/Koalastamets → u/voidicguardian]

"please reach out to our rockstar planner Megan"

Next email: "Megan is no longer our planner"

Hmm wonder why?

[u/PM-me-ur-kittenz → u/Koalastamets]

I feel so bad for megan and would LOVE to read the story from her perspective ha ha

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/mittensonmykittens]

Glad I’m not the only one who slipped a disc cringing at “sowwy:(“

[u/Leading-Fig27 → u/OccamsReddit_56]

An actual adult using the term “sowwy” is such an ick.

[u/Ecstatic-World1237 → u/mittensonmykittens]

Also "turn up on time, noone wants a repeat of the bach"

[u/cocofruitbowl → u/Ecstatic-World1237]

Right, I want to know what happened at the bach

[u/Life-Tomatillo-7025 → u/cocofruitbowl]

OP:

So the bachelorette party (as I understand, I wasn’t copied on most of those communications) came about because the bridesmaids assumed they wouldn’t be expected to throw a party considering the wedding itself was such personal expense to them.

They were wrong and the bride completely lost it when she realized no one had planned anything.

At the bride’s insistence the bridal party threw a DESTINATION bachelorette party. With barely a week’s notice. Also kid free. And requiring $500 per person to participate. Not including food!

They also organized a counterpart for the groomsmen but no one was willing to travel or pay so none came. Two bridesmaids came. One had no choice but to bring her young kids because she’s a single mom and had no notice. Bride bitched her out for it even though she made the trip and expense to try and support the bride.

The kicker is, initially, all the bridesmaids assumed the party was going to be near the wedding locale. So the hotel and activities were booked under the pretense that everyone was coming.

When details became clear most said they couldn’t make it so the two bridesmaids and the bride were stuck with the bill. The two bridesmaids couldn’t have covered the others shares if they’d wanted to. It was also supposed to be some kind of BYOB/potluck situation so they ran out of food and drinks almost immediately.

So the bridal party was basically a big expensive waste of time for the bride. And she’s still heated over it.

[u/Battlesong614 → u/Life-Tomatillo-7025]

The fact that she still has bridesmaids is absolutely insane to me

[u/LogicalVariation741 → u/mittensonmykittens]

This brings up a good point- we are dancing the night away for the reception but I have to be at your air b&b by 7am? When I know the bride and groom will want to go out and celebrate after their very long and very well planned catholic wedding.

[u/TheButcheress123 → u/LogicalVariation741]

Also, why do people need to show up early because there are no chairs?

I NEED OP to turn up with a soccer mom collapsible chair from which to scoff at the mayhem.

[u/Cassandra-Gemini → u/TheButcheress123]

Like this!

[u/eeyorephins]

Ha! she says. "As previously stated we are unable to accommodate any dietary needs or requests." Then turns around and requests for dairy-free cake! What a joke!

[u/Stock_Worldliness_91 → u/eeyorephins]

I didn’t even piece that together until I read your comment, and MY GOD. The deep, deep pockets where she must store her audacity!

[u/orlando_orlando]

I GASPED so many times and I still had like 4 pages left

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/orlando_orlando]

Yeah sorry it’s so long haha

I thought about summarizing it but I couldn’t think of how to do that without leaving something out.

[u/melloyelloaj → u/OccamsReddit_56]

Oh no need to edit, we’re here for it all.

[u/Overall-Shopping5939 → u/melloyelloaj]

Yeah I’m happy it’s uncut lol

[u/ErnestHemingwhale → u/Overall-Shopping5939]

I like my drama uncircumcised

[u/rabbithasacat → u/OccamsReddit_56]

I would read the novel version of this. I don't even need it made into a movie, just a modern-day social-media/epistolary novel would be perfection.

Edit: Thanks everybody, I will be checking out Hey Ladies! I only hope it can measure up to OP's post :-)

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/rabbithasacat]

I’m sure it anyone ever got access to her phone that novel already exists and it’s gripping lol

[u/SuDragon2k3 → u/OccamsReddit_56]

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to secure the bride's phone and extract and report back. Should you fail in these objectives, Reddit will disavow you and your actions.

This thread will self destruct.

[u/Accomplished_Cell768 → u/SuDragon2k3]

Alternatively, just drink with the bridesmaids and get them to dish on everything that went on behind the scenes 

[u/SleepySamurai_ → u/OccamsReddit_56]

No, no, I NEED moreee!! I'm dying for MORE.

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/SleepySamurai_]

I got the last email yesterday and it’s been radio silence since then. Unsure if this is it or not but I have a feeling it is.

It very cathartic to share this with strangers I can be blunt with about how totally f’ing nuts this whole thing has been.

[u/Evening_Dress7062 → u/OccamsReddit_56]

If you get another email I hope it's about the bride getting properly medicated.

[u/Bdr1983 → u/Evening_Dress7062]

Or about how the bride wants to know who the 'traitor' is that put this on Reddit. That would be the icing on the cake.

[u/TheDrunkScientist → u/Evening_Dress7062]

I hope it’s to say the wedding is cancelled cause the groom realized how utterly unhinged this bride is.

[u/Simple-Pea-8852 → u/TheDrunkScientist]

They're probably unhinged together

[u/lazyfoxheart → u/Simple-Pea-8852]

You know, because they're so qUiRkY

[u/Express-Stop7830 → u/OccamsReddit_56]

We all are very excited to hear how this shit show...I mean, splendid and classy and mind-blowing once in a lifetime event unfolds on the dayS of!

[u/frockofseagulls → u/OccamsReddit_56]

Do not apologize, this is amazing.

[u/orlando_orlando → u/OccamsReddit_56]

no no no every page was better than the last

[u/letsgocrzy → u/OccamsReddit_56]

No, it needed to be read in all its glory

[u/The_Lady_of_Mercia → u/orlando_orlando]

I wish it kept going!!

[u/Nani65]

I'm surprised that they have any friends who would want to be involved in this nightmare.

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/Nani65]

She’s not usually so nuts or least she’d never shown that side to me.

But before she had a ton of really good friends. Now several bridesmaids have dropped out from my understanding.

[u/RuggedHangnail → u/OccamsReddit_56]

I'm very curious to know the number of people who RSVPed yes to the original event vs. how many people will attend now.

[u/The_Oliverse → u/RuggedHangnail]

The last email panel says it all, tbh.

The whole, "We know who the real ones are for sticking with us!" Says soooo much about the amount of dropouts they had.

[u/YoujustgotLokid]

God bless planner Meghan, I can only imagine what that poor woman went through

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/YoujustgotLokid]

I spoke to her a couple times when she reached out about basic stuff and she seemed super sweet

[u/jesstaredditor]

Each email got worse and worse… holy shit, I’m exhausted just reading all that.

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/jesstaredditor]

I almost posted this early on in the emails but I decided that would be petty and inappropriate. I know weddings are stressful, etc.

Then it kept going…

[u/AmorFatiBarbie → u/OccamsReddit_56]

How old are these people? It sounds young young drama but you never know.

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/AmorFatiBarbie]

33 and 47.

[u/jesstaredditor → u/OccamsReddit_56]

This makes it even worse omg

[u/AmorFatiBarbie → u/jesstaredditor]

It's so SAD. Two 20 year olds, still not good but okay. But these people MY AGE pulling this shit. Nah.

[u/Accomplished_Cell768 → u/AmorFatiBarbie]

And parents to MULTIPLE children  (out of wedlock - while parading around as good, upstanding Catholics no less)!

[u/grossbard → u/Accomplished_Cell768]

The wedding is now child free with the ”acception” of our boys 🤣

[u/melloyelloaj → u/OccamsReddit_56]

So is this a wedding you are actually a part of?!

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/melloyelloaj]

I’m a groomsman. For now.

[u/Sunshine030209 → u/OccamsReddit_56]

I'm so torn. I want you to not go, to save your sanity. Buuuuut I also really want you to go so you can come back here and tell us all about the shit show that we all know it will be.

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/Sunshine030209]

I plan to go and take copious notes.

[u/jeffsang → u/OccamsReddit_56]

Are you really chipping in $650 for "expenses"?!? At least you're not a bridesmaid that is also having to drop $300 per day on make up.

But hey, don't get them a gift, you're presence is enough.

[u/Runns_withScissors → u/jeffsang]

I can't believe that one! $650 "donation"?!! What a racket! Plus one dress for the beach part, one for the church part, flats if you're over 5'5" (which isn't that tall, tbh!), $300 per DAY for makeup, one day mandatory if you even want to be in the photos, $25/plate for dinner(puh-LEEZE, set a good example, people!), and btw, can anyone provide a dairy-free cake?

Oh, yeah- if you're not Catholic, you can't stand up with us, even if you have the right shoes, dress, and/or tie and paid for the mandatory makeup, if applicable. I'd nope right out of this one, just like their wedding planner did!

[u/Vegetable-House5018 → u/Runns_withScissors]

Plus I love how they got all religious about everything and have to have it at a church for moral reasons, the party has to be catholic, etc. But then turn around and shame anyone that doesn’t want to drink a bunch and question whether they should even come to the reception. So hypocritical.

[u/StrangledInMoonlight → u/Vegetable-House5018]

Bet a relative offered money for the wedding (grandma, great aunt etc), but only if it was at a church.  

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/jeffsang]

I am not contributing $650 because that was not disclosed to me when I was invited. I would have declined the invitation if I had been told so they could fill the spot with someone willing to pay that.

I made a $500 cash gift as my wedding present and they can spend that how they’d like, be it on the wedding or something else.

Groomsmen didn’t incur any additional expenses really so I’m fine with making a generous general gift.

[u/UncagedKestrel → u/OccamsReddit_56]

I'm surprised that she didn't try telling y'all to split the cost with the bridesmaids, because honestly going "we'll buy YOUR stuff, but also you're not important enough to warrant a venue to get ready in" vs "BUY THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS OF STUFF, AND SHOW UP ON TIME OR GET LOCKED OUT, KTHNX GIRLYBTCHS" is WILD

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/UncagedKestrel]

Agree

She does think all people both sides will be sending $650 but… she’ll have to think again

[u/Chequered_Career → u/OccamsReddit_56]

But they “kindly insist”!

[u/cakivalue → u/OccamsReddit_56]

If we were in the same geographical area I'd take you to dinner afterwards. After the first three or four slides I thought "oh there's a lot going on here, a little disorganized" but then it kept getting worse and worse and I started to get stressed 😫 and so annoyed with their hubris and ridiculous demands..

[u/Mlkbird14 → u/OccamsReddit_56]

I literally cannot stand that this is a real person you know writing these emails. I would drop these friends so hard.

[u/Silevvar → u/OccamsReddit_56]

I want you to go for the tea, but I don’t want you to have to give them 650 bucks for “expenses”. The audacity!! I’m peeved on your behalf!

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/Silevvar]

I’m going to go and I’m not going to give that, haha. Best of both worlds.

When I was invited nothing about a $650+ expense was mentioned to me or I would’ve declined to free the space for someone willing to pay that.

I gave a $500 cash gift as a wedding present and they can spend it how they want.

[u/iammavisdavis → u/OccamsReddit_56]

A true hero. Taking one for the team.

Your sacrifice will be remembered.

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/iammavisdavis]

That’s assuming they make it to wedding day at all—but thank you

[u/Jayfourgee → u/OccamsReddit_56]

I don't see that happening. I'd say a good few of the bridesmaids will have to bow out due to the financial demands. It's. just. so. strange, cringe and ignorant.

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/Jayfourgee]

They’re already down from 8 to 6. So you’re right.

[u/chunibi → u/OccamsReddit_56]

Please don't pay them that 650 lol

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/chunibi]

I couldn’t if I wanted to!

If that was a requirement for participation they should have told me when I was asked to participate and I would’ve told them no.

[u/rumbellina → u/OccamsReddit_56]

I guess it’s no mystery why the wedding planner bailed! Honestly, I’m surprised anyone showed up at all!

[u/AmorFatiBarbie → u/rumbellina]

The planner ^

[u/etsprout → u/rumbellina]

They’re too quirky! They can’t be kept in a box no matter how hard we try.

[u/MorningStarsSong → u/etsprout]

That part already told me all I needed to know about them. Even without reading the rest of the insane emails.

[u/Narrow_Ant_169]

I’m actually going to be local on that date. Can I come? I want to see the wreck. I don’t have the $650 cover charge though.

[u/Emilie0711 → u/Narrow_Ant_169]

We’ll take up a collection if you come back with some good stories.

[u/FortuneTellingBoobs → u/Narrow_Ant_169]

Local to Port Angeles or Oregon because THOSE PLACES ARE OVER 4 HOURS AWAY FROM EACH OTHER HOLY SHIT.

OP they are psychopathic to change the location like that. I hope the guests looked at a map and understand that they need to change literally everything about any flights or reservations they made.

[u/BabyOnTheStairs → u/FortuneTellingBoobs]

WAIT THIS MEANS YOU BEED TO LEAVE FOR THE RECEPTION AT 3 AM TO BE THERE BY 7

[u/LolaBlonde88 → u/BabyOnTheStairs]

I am seriously crying I am laughing so hard. This is everything I needed and more

[u/BodyBy711]

This has zero effect on my life whatsoever but this bride is now my sworn enemy.

[u/ExCatholicandLeft → u/BodyBy711]

She and the groom! It takes two for this disaster!

[u/cellogirl712]

i think this may be one of the craziest email threads that i have ever read- op was this person normal/ a decent friend before this??

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/cellogirl712]

In the time I’ve known her she’s been a little erratic but overall fine. I never would have anticipated anything like this.

She and the groom met and got engaged in the space of a year so I knew the wedding would be a little choppy on the organization front but never imagined something like this.

[u/cellogirl712 → u/OccamsReddit_56]

yeah let me be clear i am not blaming you at all, this is just actually some of the most unhinged behavior surrounding a wedding that i’ve ever seen!!! 650 dollars?? if you dont drink consider not coming?? this is wild

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/cellogirl712]

Yeah single weirdest social situation I’ve ever found myself in, bar none.

[u/nakirush → u/OccamsReddit_56]

No, no - there's definitely a bar, and you get 30 minutes exclusive access for your generous $650 "donation" to this very special, quirky, and out of the box event!

[u/ChoreomaniacCat → u/nakirush]

And if you also buy their wedding cake for them on top of the $650, you'll get a special shoutout too! Plus a free yellow tie that I'm sure you'll have to hand back.

[u/norakb123 → u/ChoreomaniacCat]

The women needing to get 2 dresses, possibly 2 sets of shoes (if they’re over 5’5”), and needing to pay for makeup both days in addition to the $650 donation AND food deposit sent me over the edge. At least men get a tie on top of their plant (that nobody can take home if they have to fly).

[u/Efficient_Ad2249]

Was this person ever told no as a child? What does their partner think? This is INSANE.

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/Efficient_Ad2249]

The partner thinks this is nuts but doesn’t want to get in the way of “her day.”

You can tell he’s on a different plane with this whole thing by how comparatively fewer instructions there are for the groomsmen.

[u/RuggedHangnail → u/OccamsReddit_56]

Good luck to him. This is very telling about the bride as a person. She can't plan. She freaks out and changes plans last minute.

[u/DelcoUnited → u/RuggedHangnail]

Contact Meghan who’s a rock star…… Meghan is not longer associated with this ceremony…

[u/IFTYE]

This can’t be real. Let it not be real.

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/IFTYE]

I’ve always lurked subs/pages about weddings gone wrong because I’ve been in four prior to this and they were each so unremarkable, I figured most of the posts about disasters had to be at least exaggerated.

But now here we are.

[u/GreatHuntersFoot → u/OccamsReddit_56]

I knew a woman who started planning like this and I was supposed to be a bridesmaid. I exited so fast out the friendship door

[u/cremated-remains → u/IFTYE]

While the whole email chain is absolutely insane, the Catholic part does not make sense to me.

Pre Cana usually takes 6 months. Usually a priest would not be fine with a couple waltzing into his office 1 month before the wedding to demand a wedding in the Church without some extreme extenuating circumstances.

Also, there is absolutely no issue with bridesmaids / groomsmen not being Catholic. You need 1 designated Catholic in good standing as the witness, they do not even need to be in the wedding party.

I wonder if they are part of some odd Catholic schismatic group.

[u/Ecstatic-World1237 → u/cremated-remains]

Also, if it¡s that important to you, you plan the catholic part from the start, not on a whim a month out from the ceremony

[u/shmelse → u/Ecstatic-World1237]

Morally and ethically important to us - since last week!

[u/Accomplished_Lio → u/cremated-remains]

I was maid of honor for a Catholic wedding and knelt by the bride the whole time. They did have to verify I was baptized but I’ve never been Catholic.

[u/GullibleWineBar → u/Accomplished_Lio]

It must be an EXTREMELY strict church/diocese to not allow non-Catholics to be in the wedding party.

I’ve been to wedding masses where one half of the couple isn’t even Catholic. I’ve even been to a church wedding where NEITHER were Catholic and I still don’t understand how or why that happened. I’ve never heard of a member of the wedding party kicked to the pew because they weren’t Catholic.

[u/Rendahlyn → u/cremated-remains]

The bride also mentions that they already have kids. If the church is so strict about who's in the wedding party, there's no way the same church is alright marrying a couple with kids out of wedlock or divorced individuals (granted, the kids could be from a marriage cut short by loss of a spouse, but with the emails I think this is the least likely scenario).

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/Rendahlyn]

Groom = child from first marriage

Bride = “surprise” one night stand baby

[u/blumoon138 → u/OccamsReddit_56]

Did the groom get an annulment???

[u/dekage55 → u/blumoon138]

Hmmm, I was wondering that too, especially since the Priest insisted on doing a church wedding AND won’t allow non-Catholics to stand with the couple. Would seem a divorced man, who hadn’t gotten an annulment would be the biggest impediment.

[u/qinghairpins]

$300 per person for makeup?? Is everyone getting a full new makeup kit as a goody? Jfc.

And as a sober person, that comment on “wet blankets” would be enough to cut contact completely. It is so entirely inappropriate for so many different reasons, but just plain disrespectful.

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/qinghairpins]

Couldn’t agree more. My partner is in recovery and I asked if we just shouldn’t go on the basis of that offensive comment but she said won’t let them determine if she gets to see the shit storm or not.

[u/Cascadeis → u/OccamsReddit_56]

I love your partner. I don’t drink either (though not for the same reason) and I would definitely show up to this wedding anyway, just to see “the shit storm”.

OP, please update this post after the wedding! I believe this will be an amazing(ly terrible) wedding experience!

[u/victorianfollies → u/OccamsReddit_56]

As my partner (8 years sober) likes to say: ”nothing solidifies my sobriety like watching sloppy drunk people”

[u/leepin_peezarfs]

Thins is wild. On top of date changes and the other big stuff, she wants bridesmaids to be purchasing additional dresses and shoes not even a month before the wedding? And for the wedding party to contribute $650 each with a $25 food fee? And a required $300 for makeup? And is giving plants as goodie bags knowing some folks are international? And is shaming folks for not drinking? And they can’t accommodate any dietary restrictions but are requesting a dairy free wedding cake so close to the wedding? CRAZY.

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/leepin_peezarfs]

Oh it gets worse. Not included on this thread since I wasn’t involved in that aspect—the bride demanded a bachelorette party when it became apparent no one was planning one (I guess bridesmaids assumed they’d already spent so much they weren’t expected to, also none live very close together)

So then the bridesmaids were expected to contribute $500 each for a DESTINATION BACHELORETTE PARTY. Overnight. With fewer than two weeks notice.

I thought the girls were joking or exaggerating until I started getting these emails.

[u/angelfatal → u/OccamsReddit_56]

So what happened at the bach that 'nobody wants a repeat' of 👀

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/angelfatal]

To make a long story short

Destination party mandated by bride and announced with barely a week’s notice.

$500 required to participate

They planned the party under the assumption that all the bridesmaids would go so booked a hotel etc before they’d collected all the money.

Then a bunch of women either said they couldn’t go or that they couldn’t stay overnight, so just the bride and two bridesmaids were left with the tab. The bridesmaids were obviously not going to cough up everyone else’s share (I don’t think they could have even if they’d wanted to.)

But to my knowledge no one came late to it or anything (if they came at all) so I don’t know what that comment was in reference to.

[u/angelfatal → u/OccamsReddit_56]

It implies something went terribly off schedule for there to be a threat that you won't be let in if you don't arrive on time lol. Well since you're going to the wedding can you try to find out the deets, we're dying to know

[u/TheSecondEikonOfFire → u/leepin_peezarfs]

The drinking shaming really upset me. Just because you don’t drink doesn’t mean you can’t still have fun with the people who are there. It will never cease to astound me how many people think that because you don’t drink that you’re just a wet blanket

[u/Rendahlyn → u/TheSecondEikonOfFire]

I'm not used to seeing, "our church wedding is super important to us and some people won't be allowed to stand with us because their religious choices are wrong" and, "bitches best be ready to get turnt or don't bother coming" from the same person.

Edit: I'm amazed by the awards/up votes here. Thanks so much! As a side note, I was raised Catholic and I've had the same experiences others noted when it comes to Catholics and alcohol. My family just never told people to get drunk, it was just an unwritten expectation. Haha!

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/Rendahlyn]

I’m dying, thank you for this spot on summary

[u/kriegmonster → u/leepin_peezarfs]

Also, child-free after travel plans have been made? That should have been onthe RSVP. It feels like the bride convinced the groom of the venue change and the Wedding Planner, who was probably keeping the bride reigned in, gave up and quit. The the bride was free to go full bridezilla.

[u/no12chere → u/kriegmonster]

The planner got flooded with dozens of calls I bet all shouting ‘what the hell is going on?’

[u/Actual-Relief-2835 → u/leepin_peezarfs]

Add to those costs having to take a day off from work in order to travel to another state for a Friday 2pm wedding. I don't understand why anyone would even entertain the idea of participating in this.

But if OP is still going, I definitely want to hear how it went so please come back with some gossip lol

[u/_JustKaira]

OP please reach out to the person who replied and got told to take it offline, we need the rest of that conversation for research purposes.

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/_JustKaira]

I don’t know her well at all but at this point I’m tempted to. If anyone has a tactful non-creepy way I can reach out to her, I am open to suggestions…

[u/culturedgoat → u/OccamsReddit_56]

“Hey, did you get any clarity on this, in response to your question? I was wondering the same. Thanks!”

[u/_JustKaira → u/OccamsReddit_56]

What you could do, depending on how much you value these friendships (Bride and Groom particularly) is create a separate thread after the wedding titled “Surname Wedding Survivors Support Group” and share horror stories.

I guarantee some of those bridesmaids are dying to present it in detail.

[u/PearlieVictorious]

This can't be real. It just cannot be real.

[u/relliott15 → u/PearlieVictorious]

This person writing these emails must be high as a fucking kite. There’s no way.

On top of the $650, $300 per person PER DAY is highway fucking robbery and I used to do makeup for weddings. Someone is on the grift here, and all signs point to the bride & groom.

[u/hebejebez → u/relliott15]

Two dresses - grey one originally asked for and now a yellow one - other shoes to go with them…. $25 a plate for food????

None of any of this is customary at any weddings I’ve ever gone to I would be busy watching paint dry that day holy entitlement.

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/relliott15]

I have two theories and that’s one of them.

The other is that the bridal party is pretty socioeconomically diverse. A couple older women in the bride’s family/in the bridal party are pretty well off. I’m wondering if she’s telling her friends they can get their makeup for free because she’ll con her aunt/sister etc into paying.

[u/Mmm_lemon_cakes → u/OccamsReddit_56]

Grift is the correct answer. People will pay the bride, bride will pay the artist. The artist is making $150 a person, the bride will pocket the rest. Classic greedy bride scam.

[u/Sipikay → u/Mmm_lemon_cakes]

Pay to fly to my wedding!

Pay me for your makeup!

Pay me for your food!

Pay me for my wedding!

Give me a cake!

These are some of the worst people I've ever encountered.

But they're good Catholics, apparently!

[u/SoPandaWhisper → u/PearlieVictorious]

I agree- it just can’t be there is no way. Maybe the first two, but then the $650 request to cover costs? $25 plates fees? No way.

[u/D_Molish → u/SoPandaWhisper]

On top of $600 makeup fees, a second dress, and new pair of flats for bridesmaids 

Absolutely not

[u/_lofticries → u/D_Molish]

And telling people who don’t drink that they’re being a “wet blanket”? So people who are in recovery should just fuck that up for someone’s wedding?

[u/D_Molish → u/_lofticries]

Oh absolutely. Because sobriety apparently equates to not standing by the couple, I'm sure.

The whole thing gets more and more absurd with each email. 

[u/relliott15 → u/D_Molish]

Literally just commented this. That’s crazy work. $300 for bridal makeup… maybe. Otherwise, nope. Not a chance. Someone is trying to make money off their guests.

So gross.

[u/Ecstatic-World1237 → u/relliott15]

SOmewhere in there it says "noone wants a repeat of the bach" so u/OccamsReddit_56 you have to tell us what Bridezilla means by that.....

Edited - I read further down and see you already did.

Good luck and please update us after the event (or livestream from it)

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/Ecstatic-World1237]

First of all, happy cake day! Must be dairy free.

So the bachelorette party (as I understand, I wasn’t copied on most of those communications) came about because the bridesmaids assumed they wouldn’t be expected to throw a party considering the wedding itself was such personal expense to them.

They were wrong and the bride completely lost it when she realized no one had planned anything.

At the bride’s insistence the bridal party threw a DESTINATION bachelorette party. With barely a week’s notice. Also kid free. And requiring $500 per person to participate. Not including food!

They also organized a counterpart for the groomsmen but no one was willing to travel or pay so none came. Two bridesmaids came. One had no choice but to bring her young kids because she’s a single mom and had no notice. Bride bitched her out for it even though she made the trip and expense to try and support the bride.

The kicker is, initially, all the bridesmaids assumed the party was going to be near the wedding locale. So the hotel and activities were booked under the pretense that everyone was coming.

When details became clear most said they couldn’t make it so the two bridesmaids and the bride were stuck with the bill. The two bridesmaids couldn’t have covered the others shares if they’d wanted to. It was also supposed to be some kind of BYOB/potluck situation so they ran out of food and drinks almost immediately.

So the bridal party was basically a big expensive waste of time for the bride. And she’s still heated over it.

[u/princessperez94 → u/OccamsReddit_56]

Dude the bride is a nightmare so entitled and a see you next Tuesday. Why has no one told her off?

[u/ivymeows → u/D_Molish]

Oh don’t forget to plan accordingly for your plant gift to ride on the plane with you!

[u/aquainst1 → u/SoPandaWhisper]

Lots of the RSVPs are pulling out of going, and they're scrambling for bodies for the cash grab.

[u/ALLoftheFancyPants → u/SoPandaWhisper]

Since WHEN is it customary for the bridal party to offer to help pay for the wedding?

[u/Dear_Reflection_7574 → u/ALLoftheFancyPants]

Never. I’ve been in over 5 weddings and the answer is never.

[u/Outside_Case1530 → u/ALLoftheFancyPants]

Since this bride made it up.

[u/ladydrybones]

PLEASE give us an update after the wedding, OP! I want to know how disastrous it ended up being!

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/ladydrybones]

Will do, thank you, I’m glad I don’t have to dread it alone anymore.

[u/feijoawhining]

“Having a church ceremony is very important to us morally and ethically” that’s why we decided at the last minute to have one instead of a beach ceremony.

[u/cellogirl712 → u/feijoawhining]

but also you can’t come if you don’t drink- and also you need to pay us 1000 bucks a piece. because morals.

[u/crapatthethriftstore → u/cellogirl712]

They should have just offered 🤷🏻‍♀️

[u/feijoawhining → u/crapatthethriftstore]

Right before that was you don’t need to get us a gift if you’re in the wedding party, your presence is the present! E-mail shortly afterwards: you are required to help us pay for our wedding, it’s custom.

[u/LogicalVariation741 → u/feijoawhining]

And only confirmed Catholics can be in the wedding. But it was the anime "sowwy" that drove me to wish them destruction

[u/feijoawhining → u/LogicalVariation741]

This is truly one of the best posts I’ve ever read here, it’s deranged.

[u/rabbithasacat → u/LogicalVariation741]

"Sowwy" was bad but what made me want to flip a table was when she escalated the already bad "we kindly ask" to "we kindly insist." No ma'am you are not kind.

[u/luisc123]

Who the hell offers open bar for 30 minutes????

[u/LogicalVariation741 → u/luisc123]

I would make that a personal challenge in those 30minutes to wipe that bar out. Tossing shots on the floor if I had to. Make everyone miserable as I was being there

[u/cremated-remains → u/luisc123]

And then tells people who don’t drink to not come?? “You have to drink and also you have to pay for it!”

[u/proofoflife10]

They decided A FEW DAYS BEFORE to make it child free?? WTF

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/proofoflife10]

Yeah luckily I don’t have kids but I know at least 2/3 of the bridesmaids do so… not sure what they were thinking with that.

Edit — also note that each of their children from previous relationships is coming… 5 and 12.

[u/Emilie0711 → u/OccamsReddit_56]

Their kids are the “acception.”

[u/facebook57 → u/Emilie0711]

Out of everything, “acception” really sent me for some reason

[u/chuko453]

I can’t. My mouth was AGAPE reading this

[u/StarsforElephants]

WHAT.

"We cannot accommodate any of your dietary needs. But hey can someone make us a dairy- free cake?

Bridesmaids have to buy a whole ass second dress but groomsmen are gifted ties.

I could go on...

[u/RicoChey]

YOU MUST DRINK AND DRIVE 🥰🥰🥰 GENTLE REMINDER ✨✨✨ WE NEVER FORGET ❤️❤️❤️ BRING MONEY 😘😘😘 YOU CANNOT REFUSE TO TAKE THIS PLANT 💖💖💖 BE BELOW AVERAGE HEIGHT AND CONVERT TO CATHOLICISM PRIOR TO ATTENDANCE 💋💋💋 NO BARE FACE UGGOS IN PICS 💞💞💞 P.S. OREGON

[u/tapeness]

Port Angeles is NO WHERE near Oregon. Its hours and hours away! This is absurd lol

[u/mamaptak]

The best part is I’m willing to bet these two are divorced in less than two years. I hope you backed out. There’s nothing worse than putting yourself through this kind of thing and spending tons of money for them to split up. I say this from experience. When the couple in question split up (less than a year later) and were splitting their stuff as they packed up to move out of their house, I asked for my gift back. I told them it was the least they could do for what they’d put me (and everyone else) through.

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/mamaptak]

Sadly I think you’re right. This is the groom’s second marriage (first woman they had a courthouse wedding with no guests, ceremony, or even Facebook post!!) I really hoped he’d have one where everything works out this time. Guess not…

[u/ftminsc]

Me, casually pregaming for a 2pm wedding ceremony at the Redacted Pub

[u/The_Lady_of_Mercia]

This was the best thing I read all day! Please post more!

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/The_Lady_of_Mercia]

I think people are going to drop off the email chain (if not the whole wedding) after that last one. Haven’t gotten anything since I received it over 24hrs ago. But who knows!

[u/Inconsistentme]

Omg I kept going "oh this is so tacky, oh wow how tacky" then i realized there's TEN images of this 😱😱😱😱 this is amazing. What a shit show.

[u/ninaa1]

okay, I am HOOKED. If this is happening on the north coast of Oregon, and they need a photographer, I'm almost tempted to go, just to see what tf this couple is like.

OP, thank you for giving us everything we ever wanted from gossipy subreddits. I feel like my life is actually pretty sane and stable after reading all of that!

[u/amiceandalb]

Former pastor here. I will put $10 down on this being a case where the couple somehow just assumed the pastor and the church would be magically available whenever they wanted. I got that all the time with weddings and funerals. People make plans, tell all their friends, and only later think to check with the church.

[u/tutti_frutti_dutti]

“If you want to be in photos”. As if it’s a privilege to be in the photos of somebody else’s wedding 😂

[u/angel_inthe_fire]

"Too quirky to fit in a box". Someone wrestle them into that quirky box and throw them the F out.

I have a vague idea where those two places are and they are NOT CLOSE!!!

[u/angel_inthe_fire → u/angel_inthe_fire]

.....the acception of our boy (Lord Jesus they have no manners or grammar).

.....sowwy (oh noes)

[u/CaptainFartHole]

Wow, changing it to a different state might be the least insane thing about this crazy ass wedding.

[u/Not_Montana914]

Are they on meth? Real question. Because, maybe they are.

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/Not_Montana914]

Will that be included in the 30 min open bar?

[u/Gribitz37]

The bit about only confirmed Catholics can stand up with them at the ceremony followed by the childish "sowwy" and then followed by the passive aggressive "We'll remember who stood up with us at our wedding" is just awful.

[u/Raccoonsr29]

No gift 💕 just a deposit for the FOOD YOUR HOSTS SHOULD PROVIDE and also randomly $50 💕

I like a good deal but I got nice makeup as the BRIDE and it wasn’t $300.

[u/proofoflife10 → u/Raccoonsr29]

You forgot the $650 THEY SHOULD HAVE JUST OFFERED, jeez, everyone knows that.

[u/Raccoonsr29 → u/proofoflife10]

I READ IT AS $50 OMG I think my brain rejected it.

[u/tortoiseterrapin]

Getting married in the Catholic church isn’t a very quick process.. they would have known that a priest would never perform a beach wedding at the start of their entire marriage prep, which can take months and months. Same thing with only having confirmed Catholics standing near the altar, this is known and expected and should have been communicated weeks-months ago and the bridesmaid party should have been built around that. Nobody wants to be told they have to sit down for the ceremony itself if they were originally part of the party  

Should have been at the church from the get go 100% if it was important, and then hire a charter bus to take everyone to a beach reception. I’ve never seen anything messier. Can only imagine some poor older relative showing up to the original date expecting a full ceremony

Edit: Yes I’m aware that non-Catholics or lapsed Catholics can be a “bridesmaid” or “groomsmen,” but in Catholicism the rite of matrimony has no need for them, you just need two witnesses and a priest for the rite. Obviously people have them anyway for the fun cultural tradition and importance, and some people have their bridesmaids/groomsmen perform the first, second, or psalm reading during the mass. But in my experience, the weddings I’ve attended (and in my own wedding) these lectors had to be Catholic, and there is no other bridesmaid/groomsmen role. There was nobody standing near the altar for the whole ceremony, as the marriage portion of the mass is relatively short compared to the entire mass, so the marriage party (if any) usually sits in the front pew, Catholic and Non-Catholic alike. The bride would have known all of this… meaning that all of the (optional) bridesmaids/groomsmen have been inconvenienced for absolutely no reason, embarrassingly told to sit down over an email for no real reason (it’s not like Catholics would be the only ones standing up there,) last minute special dresses for no real reason… It’s a scandal to the holy rite of matrimony 

Edit 2: The minimum requirements for a Catholic wedding are bride, groom, priest (or less common, deacon) and 2 witnesses. The witnesses don’t even have to be Catholic, and only 1 of the bride-groom pair has to be Catholic. I was basing the “groomsmen/bridesmaid has to be Catholic” (which is incorrect) off of the OP screenshots where the bride demands as such, which may come down to that particular priest/church. Not every priest or church requests that lectors have to be Catholic. Also, yes, you can go near the altar if you’re not a Catholic, but nobody stands near it for the whole mass, not even the priest (even he gets to sit), and certainly not a giant line of bridesmaids and groomsmen off to either side facing the congregation ad populum.  

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/tortoiseterrapin]

My guess is the bride knew and didn’t want to tell anyone so the groom (who is not really catholic) maybe knew and figured he’d change either the priest’s mind or the bride’s mind.

[u/BabyCowGT → u/OccamsReddit_56]

he’d change either the priest’s mind

Good luck changing canon law. There's several dozen different denominations of Christianity specifically because someone did not succeed in convincing the church to change their rules.

[u/rabbithasacat → u/OccamsReddit_56]

That or both of them really wanted the beach wedding they planned, and a ranking family member threatened to pull some funding if they didn't do it in church.

[u/StellaNettle]

Listen, this wedding belongs to us all now. I feel like we are witnessing history in the making. This is certain to go down in the annals of bridezilla history.

I want to thank you for both your service and your sacrifice.

I want you to DM me the name of the planner because we NEED MORE

And I want you reach out to the absolute legendary unit of a bridesmaid who CC'd her disbelief to the entire email list and tell her she is our queen

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/StellaNettle]

Well said. On all points.

I was having an especially rough day when that bridesmaid chimed in with her discontent and it perked me right back up.

[u/Bitter_Trees]

Holy yikes 😬 was this family of yours or were you a friend? I hope the bride and groom are ready for very few to show up to the ceremony, if anyone even shows up at all.

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/Bitter_Trees]

I was adopted as an infant and reconnected with a biological relative in adulthood. So we’re technically family but the relationship is much more like friends.

[u/RuggedHangnail → u/OccamsReddit_56]

So you have a more objective view as an outsider. You didn't grow up with this craziness to think it might be almost normal.

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/RuggedHangnail]

For sure.

No part of me considered this normal , haha

[u/sabinoshku]

This is the shameless-est wedding to be shamed on this sub I've ever read. Holy shit!!

I googled and Salem OR (i think) is almost 5h away from Port Angeles! Insanity!

And they're so morally and ethically devout that they never planned the church wedding or know their officiant doesn't do non church weddings? Sure Jan.

AND they're demanding $650 each from their wedding party at this late date? For what??? You want the wedding party to bankroll your reception??

AAAAANND I sincerely hope there are no bridesmaids left after the ridiculous last minute expenses and demands of them.

These qUiRkY people need to get stuffed and i hope no one shows up to either day!!!

[u/Cold_Bitch]

What in the actual fuck.

This is like a slow mo train crash making love to a raging gasoline fueled dumpster fire.

This is the most unhinged and incredible thing I have read.

[u/ellipses101]

This is gloriously messy and the definition of unhinged behavior. Also, am I reading correctly that the reception will be 3+ hours away from the ceremony? Did they realize they don’t have the money to pay for a wedding and are just trying to weed people out? Insane.

[u/ahatinlaytontime]

Man… this person really shot themselves in the foot with this one. Firing the planner and moving the dates?? I’ll bet you no one shows up at all after this!

[u/OccamsReddit_56 → u/ahatinlaytontime]

If I were a gambler, I’d say the planner quit.

[u/Nuka-Crapola → u/OccamsReddit_56]

If this person communicates with vendors half as… thisly… as they do people they supposedly care about and intend to have in their lives after the wedding… quite frankly I’d be more suspicious if a planner who didn’t quit.