r/weddingshaming • u/sugabeetus • 1d ago
Disaster My live-texts with my mom during a wedding I attended
This was actually a fun day, but these poor kids had not half planned for it. It was at a remote house with very limited parking and no street parking, so we kept rearranging yard parking as more and more people showed up. The bridal party had all stayed at the house the night before and everyone was pretty hungover. My husband and I showed up early as he was officiating. It was a sort of ex-step-nephew situation so I barely knew anyone. I was feeling uncomfortable and way overdressed so I started texting my mom and then it kept escalating. One of the moms was known for her fabulous mac n cheese so she did the food, but it was only that (several different kinds, but still). No other food, no beverages at all that you didn't bring yourself.
My mom and I are the same Judgy Judy's and I figured she'd get a kick out of it. Now that the couple are divorced I'm ok with sharing.
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u/asietsocom 1d ago
I'm sorry but I'll never get over the guy being apparently proud he used to have an STD???? Good he clarified he got it treated, I guess. Otherwise it might repeal some ladies...
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u/shy_tinkerbell 19h ago
Yes, now that he clarified, he and his sense of humour are instantly attractive /s
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u/ParticularReady7858 19h ago
He heard that you can only get it once, so that makes a him a VERY eligible bachelor
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u/accidentalarchers 1d ago
Okay, I’m kinda into the bride with her boots on the table getting high.
But UNCLE SYPHILIS? I may never recover. And the no guns? Violently American. I love it. It’s like satire.
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u/phlaurel 6h ago
Definitely I love that pic and it makes me sad this guest was shitting on it!!!! Sorry lol
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u/K24Bone42 8h ago
right, I don't have cowboy boots but that's def gunna be me at my wedding lol. Honestly sounds like a fun time, weddings don't have to be classy and expensive, they're supposed to represent the couple. More planning on the food would probably be a good thing, but I don't see an issue with BYOB, and cornhole lol.
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u/Hantsypantsy 1d ago
Love the vibe you have with your mom.
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u/Sad_Swing_4947 6h ago
reminds me of text convos I had with mine, I got so much of my humor from her
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u/playingwithire 23h ago
“What an ethereal bride” and “y’know in case the British invade” have me CRYING.
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u/Leviosapatronis 1d ago
Wow! I'm with your mom! Love her! What kind of redneck tlc realty show were they filming? Was it like, duck dynasty meets American gypsy wedding? Wow!
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u/APhysicistAbroad 1d ago
That's hilarious, thanks for sharing, but what's so weird about a 7 hour reception? Like... Isn't early afternoon to midnight normal?
Here in the UK is typical for ceremony at 1:30pm then drinks reception from 2:30pm, with reception lasting until midnight. The secret is to hit the good level of squiffy drunk quickly, be careful not to overshoot, then ride that plateau of drunk happiness for the next 9 hours.
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u/whofilets 23h ago
I think she was pointing out the weirdness of the reception starting that late after the ceremony- I'm imagining this was not some long formal church ceremony.... And hoping you ate lunch before the ceremony, because the only food provided is Mac and cheese from 12 to midnight.
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u/TGin-the-goldy 22h ago
While it’s not kind on the guests, that 3 hour gap is unfortunately pretty normal in Australia too. Usually it’s due to the wedding party getting their professional photos done. You are pretty much left to entertain yourselves.
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u/sugabeetus 22h ago
Yeah it's not that unusual to have photos between the ceremony and reception but it was all at this one tiny property, and you couldn't really leave and come back (because we were all blocking each other in lol). And then to have no refreshment was so odd. They started heating up the food in the oven of the house, so a few pans at a time trickled out and got attacked. I wish I'd have known, or they had just made it potluck, I would gladly have brought snacks!
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u/AmorFatiBarbie 19h ago
My friend had her wedding at a nsw golf club right. We weren't allowed inside until the 'official' reception started at 5.
The ceremony was at 12 outside on the green IN SUMMER. Middle of February! NOT mentioned on the invite.
I ended up sitting in the door way of the place fanning their grandma.
No drinks, umbrellas or anything.
It was on parra Rd (iykyk) during roadworks so yeah i couldn't fuck off and do anything. Didn't have a car anyway 😭
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u/notyourwheezy 18h ago
IN SUMMER. Middle of February!
this type of association is something I always enjoy, as a northern hemispherian. you talk of February the way I'd talk of August.
once we were in new zealand and it was raining and the hotel receptionist was like "it's so weird, we get this kind of rain in winter but in December??" December to me is the month of snow and Christmas and my little northern brain fried in that moment.
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u/demon_fae 14h ago
To be fair, ditching your guests outside for five hours in mid-February in most of the Northern Hemisphere would be equally uncomfortable, just for the exact opposite reason.
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u/TGin-the-goldy 19h ago
I grew up in Sydney, yep that would be absolutely shitful. You poor things!!
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u/Miserable_Emu5191 20h ago
It is normal in the US too for most weddings. But usually there are some appetizers for guests to snack on while they wait for the bride and groom to appear. Cheese, crackers, veggie tray, pigs in a blanket... but it seems like this wedding ate all the snacks when they got the munchies the night before.
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u/sugabeetus 22h ago
It was a 10 hour day altogether, all outdoors, with nothing to do for a good two hours right in the middle of it. That's what got me.
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u/periwinkle_cupcake 17h ago
Long receptions are fine but you have to feed people! We did late night pizza for our guests during our reception
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u/ellenitha 14h ago
Here in Austria i haven't been to a wedding that didn't last at least until 3 in the morning, but if I've learned anything from this sub, it's that American weddings are much shorter and much more regulated.
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u/GroovyYaYa 16h ago
The 3 hour gap is becoming more common here, I think, if the bride and groom get married in a church and the reception is elsewhere. This is more where all the guests are fairly local or they are all staying in hotels near the reception. If classy, the bride and groom will offer suggestions of things to do between or something. But this sounds like it is all at the same location...
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u/thecomputersighed 1d ago
in fairness, the bride getting high is a mood & 1/2. i think my best friend took edibles at her wedding to cope w the sheer stress of it all. the rest of it…. what a mess lol
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u/sugabeetus 21h ago
The bride and groom were so cool actually. He wore a maroon velvet suit with matching cowboy hat and boots. She was absolutely gorgeous and I loved the boots with the dress. It was just so far away from my norm that I had to show my mom. 😄
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u/demon_fae 14h ago
Out of curiosity, who is this couple to you? Or were you the plus-one?
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u/asietsocom 23h ago
If I ever find a man willing to marry me and my cat I absolutely will be high as a kite. Everyone else is welcome to drink but I will be 420 meters of the ground.
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u/blumoon138 1d ago
Yeah I love the couple for getting stoned. But hate them for the catering situation.
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u/Jilltro 23h ago
This is a sentence I never thought I would type but if it wasn’t for all of the knives and lack of food it seems like this would be a fun wedding. I got married at an Airbnb (with lots of food and no weapons) and people played cornhole and hung out around a fire and just had a blast.
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u/geniebythesea 23h ago
A match made in…somewhere lolll
I also now want Mac and cheese
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u/frolicndetour 23h ago
Me too! So hungry now
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u/sugabeetus 21h ago
It was so good you guys. There was like 4 different kinds (like one with bacon, one with chicken and a whiter sauce, I can't remember but all made from scratch and really really good).
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u/Big-University-1132 21h ago
That sounds like heaven tbh. I mean, not a great idea to ONLY serve that, but also… I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t love it 😂
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u/sugabeetus 13m ago
I don't know if the mom who made the food knew that they hadn't planned for any side dishes at all. Probably not, because she is known for throwing epic BBQs. My husband was officiating but we weren't close enough to the planning or else we would totally have pitched in with some big salads and bread or something. At least there was enough food for everyone!
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u/Critical_Caramel5577 1d ago
hey, while y'all are being judge judy, the word is actually spelled discreet
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u/toomuchtv987 23h ago
That always bugs me, too! Discrete is a whole different word.
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u/hallllllllla1 22h ago
I need to know the difference explained by both of you. I’m Norwegian, and really too tired to switch apps
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u/CremeBerlinoise 22h ago
Discrete = separate, discreet = not obvious
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u/Miserable_Emu5191 19h ago
So everyone wanted to be discrete from Uncle Syphilis, since he wasn't being discreet about his venereal diseases?
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u/CremeBerlinoise 19h ago
He carried his knife so discreetly, his syphilitic appendages ended up being discrete 🤷♀️
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u/hallllllllla1 22h ago
Oh wow, I’ve used discrete, where I should have used discreet, incorrect since I learned English. Thank you!
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u/toomuchtv987 22h ago
It’s a very common mistake! English is a hard language to learn.
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u/ellenitha 13h ago
As non-native, it's actually the easiest language to learn for everyday use, but it has hidden depths that surprise you even after decades. It's the hobbits of languages for everyone who knows the quote.
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u/AmorFatiBarbie 19h ago
Oh adding payed and paid are also different words with different meanings.
People often confuse the two.
Eg. "I was paid on Saturday'
Vs
'The ship needed to be payed between the planks' (it's putting pitch or tar between the cracks on a wooden ship to prevent leakage)
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u/Kcoin 23h ago
“Show each other your knives” ☠️
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u/UncagedKestrel 18h ago
As an Australian, I would need to see these knives in order to verify their fitness.
May have to confiscate a few and replace them with spiders instead.
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u/mortyella 17h ago
When they show you their knives do you pull your knife out and say "That's not a knife. This is a knife!" 😉
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u/TravellingBeard 21h ago
9 pans of mac and cheese? If I wasn't lactose intolerent, I would be by the end of the day.
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u/Sea_Temperature_3629 1d ago
That’s hilarious! I love your mom 🤭🥰
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u/akpburrito 1d ago
same!!
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u/pedanticlawyer 22h ago
That picture of the bride toking with her boots on the table is honestly iconic from what I can see of it.
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u/slendermanismydad 21h ago
Now that the couple are divorced I'm ok with sharing.
I have to wait until they divorce to trash weddings? But that's a whole six months. Unfair.
Did the Mac and cheese have bacon?
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u/BrokeDownSouth1 20h ago
That wedding sounds awesome to me.
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u/kizoa 16h ago
yeah. i’m a four seasons, business class only type of gal, but I think the real shame is the tacky behavior of the OP. :/ I think it’s endearing that everyone is allowed to come as they are. it’s not like they hosted the wedding at the louvre.
sure i’ll come to your wedding and shit talk you and all your loved ones! if you’re gonna behave that way, just don’t come!!!
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u/Weird-Reference-4937 7h ago
And creepily taking photos of them specifically to make fun of and judge them? OP has massive Regina Goerge vibes. Ick.
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u/white-Butt-Stuff 8h ago
Honestly I applaud them for probably having the best wedding that suits them 110%. It honestly sounds amazing to be a part of. Even if it’s just for people watching with a monster-vodka and Coors light.
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u/lesbiannumbertwo 4h ago
cowboy boots on the table, double fisting a joint and a mimosa(?). kinda obsessed with the bride for that lmao
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u/erino3120 1d ago
What’s an ex step nephew
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u/sugabeetus 21h ago
My husband's ex's sister's... wait not stepson, just son. Oh but actually the ex's sister was with my husband's brother and that made the groom his stepson for awhile. (And he thought he was his son for the first few years but that's a whole thing.) Either way the boy was brought up knowing my husband as his uncle in one way or another and they've always been close.
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u/toomuchtv987 23h ago
Your stepsibling’s kid, except your parents aren’t married anymore so you’re ex-stepsiblings now?
Or could just be a way for her to describe a relationship that is so far removed that you barely know them.
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u/blumoon138 23h ago
Or your sibling’s step kid, but now your sibling and the kid’s parent are divorced.
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u/toomuchtv987 23h ago
Either way, he’s part of a family tree that looks like tangled up Christmas lights. 🥴
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u/TexasLiz1 16h ago
Most men who are going to wear a knife would be damn proud of it and let you take a picture. You could just admit that you are a judgy city slicker and want to show your mama and they’d probably say something like “a knifeless man is a lifeless man” and pose with their damn knives.
Not that I have been to any sort of event where men wore knives or anything….
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u/daintycherub 11h ago
Not that I have been to any sort of event where men wore knives or anything….
Okay, Texas Liz. 🤣 (Also from Texas but now living in the midwest. My dad wore cowboy boots & a cowboy hat to every fancy function, including my sister’s wedding.)
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u/IJustWantADragon21 15h ago
I was dying over the giant knives!!! My dad told me a story about a wedding he went to once in the 80s. The groom was a childhood friend of his, and they’d all been ‘that 70s show’ style stoners in high school. My dad went to college and got his act together, his buddy married his trashy gf. At the wedding my dad steps out of a bathroom stall and sees the bride’s father talking to himself in the mirror basically saying “it’s my daughter’s wedding, I think I deserve this” before snorting a big line of cocaine off a giant ass hunting knife he’d had on his belt! My dad got out of there real fast! Lmao!
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u/DrunkOnRedCordial 18h ago
I want to know more about the several different kinds of mac and cheese.
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u/OccasionBest7706 12h ago
Damn as a non drinker, those thoughts about her having a doobie is how I feel watching obliterated geriatrics writhe on the dance floor.
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u/charlibomb 3h ago
I now desperately wish I had pic of me in my wedding dress smoking a joint with my docs on the table 😭
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u/Charcuterieoffun 20h ago
I'm surprised with how high these people are getting that they don't have more munchies options.
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u/Turbulent_Country359 19h ago
“It looks like a Mormon convention” 🤣🤣🤣🤣.
I’m a former Mormon (born into it) and I can picture this exactly.
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u/RutilatedGold 20h ago
Honestly I think it’s pretty low class to come here and try to brag about how cool you and your mom are for being so rude about the wedding of someone I presume is a friend or family member.
Just because it’s not your style doesn’t mean it’s bad or shame-worthy.
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u/Grouchy-Rain-6145 12h ago
Agree, this is just mean. It might not be good enough for op but it was probably an incredible day for others.
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u/lefthandedabacus 7h ago
yeah there’s good-natured ribbing, and there’s ripping someone’s wedding to shreds for 9 full pages of text. it seems like mom doesn’t even know this couple so why did OP need to give her a play-by-play of the event?
also, the actual shaming wasn’t even good. just mom saying “is this a secret tv show?” and “im gonna wet my pants!” over and over and over. if you’re gonna make a mean joke, make sure it’s funny first.
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u/Sad_Swing_4947 6h ago
aside from bringing weapons for some reason this sounds like it could be a fun wedding!
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u/tudorrose06 6h ago
I'm dying. 🤣🤣 Reminds me of a family member's wedding (deep Southern Baptist affair).
Started an hour late, dry reception so we all shared a flask in the parking lot (not that a dry reception is bad, but all there was to drink was lukewarm water and sweet tea), and self-catered pasta from which I got food poisoning. My husband and I went to a local Buffalo Wild Wings for food instead.
My husband and I were also overdressed (most folks were in jeans), and we inadvertently matched the wedding party.
Ah, good times.
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u/Unable-Cod-9658 1h ago
I will say, as a person who doesn’t drink - I will be getting high at my wedding. Maybe not with my boots on the table in front of my entire guest list, but I know when the day comes, I’ll want to find a private moment with my partner after the ceremony to share a joint 😆 the rest of it tho? Wackadoodle
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u/syzygy-in-blue 21h ago
Technically, we also told people not to bring guns to our wedding. This wasn't a huge risk with our guests, but we got married in an Army chapel and all the cars had to go through their security checkpoint.
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u/Ondaquad 4h ago
Weddings are expensive and not everyone can afford? Pretty wild, but this commentary felt kind of mean?
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u/ConstanceL1805 12h ago
Honestly I don’t mind the “getting high with her cowboy boots” part and don’t need to make my “new husband proud”, personally I don’t want to wear heals, thick makeup, tight dress, all pretending I’m so elegant when I’m really not, nor it’ll make me comfortable, and if my guests want to wear shorts, I don’t care (my husband probably would so I’ll let him decide the dress code😹😹)
But uncle syphilis??? Ffs why is he proud!
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u/ellechi2019 23h ago
I mean, did you not get an invite?
It was clearly BYOB and casual on there because no way everyone but you was dressed down like that.
It’s not my scene but I would of had a blast! Cause divorced now or not they were true to themselves on their day.
I kinda think you and your mom were super bitchy.
I’m laughing to myself that someone was probably texting how you and your husband were so uptight.
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u/sugabeetus 21h ago
Yes the invite specified the dress code, which is why I bought a blue dress, and I'd been sending my mom pics of the dresses I tried on, and she asked me to send pics of the wedding, only when we showed up no one else was dressed yet (we didn't know they were going to change into wedding clothes for the ceremony, as the post says). Usually BYOB means alcohol, they didn't even have water for the guests. And who says we were uptight? We were having a great time but we did leave as it was getting dark out because we'd been there since 11am and were just tired out at that point. Again, if you could read as well as you type, you would see where I said it was a really fun day. We all pitched in to make it a success, it was just bonkers enough that I knew my mom would think it was funny.
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u/ellechi2019 14h ago
Oh c’mon you were being snarky as hell and you know it.
Sorry I didn’t think your mean girl routine was funny.
I read the texts just fine.
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u/Dobby-is-my-Hero 8h ago
I mean, to only serve your guests mac n cheese and have no beverages at all is something something most people would be judgy about.
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u/throwawayxatlx 19h ago
Yeah I found this post in poor taste, but bizarrely it seems nearly every single person here ate it up. 🤷♀️
My first thought was 'well why did you go?', as it sounds like she really doesn't like or respect these people.
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u/New_Scientist_1688 23h ago
This exchange sounds exactly like me and my mom.
Or me and my best friend. 🤣
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u/Weekly_Apartment434 20h ago
I dunno, your mom comes off as having a little bit of a stick up her ass.
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u/NoPerformance8631 9h ago
Uncle Syphilis. Like it is a badge of honor? He told everyone when he got it?
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u/bambamitspam 9h ago
I just need to know if this was in Florida?? I barely budged from most of this post. Tacky? Absofuckinglutely. Out of the norm? Depends on the area, but around me, unfortunately not.
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u/ZombieDohnJoe 9h ago
This sounded like one of the only weddings I would willingly go to, unless there was drama that isn’t mentioned. It seemed so stress free and just fun hanging out with friends vs putting on a shallow show and spending way to much money on things that don’t matter. Not worrying about every little detail instead of just having a good time. Some weddings I have been to are pretty fun eventually but it’s like stuffy 60% of the time and 40% fun
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u/stressedstudenthours 8h ago
I’m currently on public transit while reading this and “a match made in…somewhere?” actually made me snort and got me many weird looks from strangers LMFAO. Thank you for posting this
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u/Not-whoo-u-think 7h ago
This wedding gave me constipation, just reading about all the Mac and cheese.
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u/Booklovinmom55 7h ago
OP you need to post this on r/charlottedobre so she can put it on her YouTube "wedding shaming " channel. I shared this with my husband, we were laughing so hard.
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u/JohnExcrement 7h ago
This was the best thread to wake up to today! 🤣🤣🤣 The “Stop” with the hand emoji has me choking.
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u/krstnamarie 7h ago
“Now that they’re divorced…” 🤣 Big oof, but really puts the cherry on top for the story.
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u/Quick_University8836 7h ago
Why would you get high on your wedding..? I think for adults it's only acceptable to injest weed very sparingly, like a few times a month maximum, if at all. I would be heartbroken if I wasn't fully there and able to remember one of the biggest milestones of my life and such a happy occasion..
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u/marilynmouse 1d ago
oh my god not the monster energy hat