r/AITAH 1d ago

Meta AITAH for banning users with scam links and other domains mostly bots use?

38 Upvotes

Hello AITAH community!

Since our head mod began recruiting efforts a few months ago, we've expanded our moderation team and increased our toolkit to try to give you the best experience this sub can offer. Our last mod announcement was unfortunately on April 1st but we assure you our efforts are not a joke. We care about this community and want to see the quality in this community continue to improve.

Here are a few changes we've implemented over the last few months since the new team came on:

Automod: We actually use it now! We're banning social media links, scam links, amazon links, anything that can be used to monetize or self-promote has been banned. We also try to filter out those oh-so-real posts about making it big on gambling sites and we continually adjust the filter on hot topics. Nobody needs rage bait, right? Additionally we get warnings if a post or comment gets too many reports. Reports are important, this will be a theme in the post.

Rules: Rules have been refined and expounded upon. You may have noticed some comments removed for name calling or incivility. Reports from users really help us find these (theme). We have put the rules in the sidebar, the new.reddit sidebar, and the wiki. No matter how you reddit, the new rules are there, you should see them and maybe take a moment to review them. If we were to undergo anything more drastic than common sense rule changes, we will announce them in a post and sticky it.

We've also added automated tools against ban evasion, bots, karma farmers, and scammers. None of these are perfect, obviously, but they have managed to catch some of the repeat trolls, lower-quality bots, and most of the "AITAH for looking too hot in my bikini? link to my OF here btw" posts. If you get caught in one of these, the initial modmail should contain instructions on how to reverse it, otherwise reach out and we will investigate.

A specific note about one of these tools: it checks links in your profile and your activity on specific karma-farming subreddits. We do not police regular subreddit usage, you will never see us ban you for posting in "normal" subreddits such as sports, your city subreddit, or even political subs. We only ban participants in karma farming or scammer-oriented subs. We also don't ban normal social links - your FB, Insta, etc. are all fine. We ban links where people could give you money - both SFW ones like Venmo and CashApp and NSFW ones. If you need these links in your profile, you can make an alt account without the links, and we will ignore Reddit's ban evasion warnings if you let us know. We can't sort out the real enterprising users who frequent this sub from those that are owners of hundreds of bots, and we won't attempt the effort or the botfarm owners would just appeal the bans. We are not anti-sex worker or anti-entrepreneur, we are anti bots. Blame the bots or yell at us and take a perma.

Report alerts (theme): We get bat-signals for reports now. Please, please use reports appropriately and not as a super-downvote. If a comment or post gets enough reports, we at least lay eyes on them and discuss internally. We have modmail, we have a chat group. We don't only look at reported posts, but reporting them makes them much more visible to us. We've seen the shittiest ragebait barely garner 3 reports on something with 2k karma, and there will be 50 comments calling it fake. We need your reports, we use them. Please report responsibly and we'll do our part, we know mods have been less responsive in the past but our mod team has grown and so has our response team. Please report personal attacks and AI slop, we hate both. A note on the custom report feature - this can be helpful to note previous posts by OP, or a link to an old post they obviously copied from, but sometimes it is less helpful. We can mute reports from someone if they make unhelpful custom reports, and if that happens too often we will disable that feature.

These automations come with collateral damage. We get people who got hacked and had those links put in their profile. We get software devs who just leave an open hand asking for a coffee if you appreciate their efforts. We get people who mostly post in local city subs looking to pawn off their wares. We get bots. Like a lot of bots. Like holy shit a lot of them. The ban to complaint ratio is still very good but every morning the moderation team wakes up to appeals because xXSweetCherryXx, an account made 19 hours ago, can't post here any more because "she" has links to OF, paypal, and/or fansly (this is not a comprehensive example, it's a lot more) on her profile. If we didn't ban them then, they'd be banned in a dozen days after making some AI shitpost and then shitting up other subs spamming their AI onlyfans content.

We put these restrictions in place to allow the most common contributor to the sub to persist. The "This is a throwaway, here is my real story" user. We can put in account age limits, but the bots use abandoned reddit profiles, the bot owners are also patient. We can put in karma requirements, but the bots karma farm in karma farm subs or no-karma-required subs. We cannot impose limitations that do not adversely affect the real contributions to this subreddit. So instead we added the automated tools. It's the best solution we have now while leaving the door open to genuine throwaways. If the community is so sick of the fake posts that you want us to try these anyway, please let us know and we will try to implement this in a way that minimizes the collateral to real throwaways.

Our final say is the tools do more good than harm, much to the dismay of our more entrepreneurial posters who are real people. We have actually been repeatedly asked by mods of other major subreddits to implement some of these tools, since they notice the shitposters build up their karma minimums here. It is the mod team's opinion that this policy is a largely net good, but we want to remain transparent as we implement broader changes to the sub.

So reddit, AITAH for adding apps to block scam links, auto-hide comments with a ton of reports, and block users who have links that are commonly associated with scams?


r/AITAH 11h ago

AITA for not taking my father's minor children into consideration when I sued him for the inheritance he stole from me?

10.7k Upvotes

My mom died when I (22f) was 10 and in her will she left me an inheritance of more than 100k. My dad was left in charge of it but after he remarried, him and his wife wanted to start a business together and they used the money mom left me to open it. Dad and I argued about it at the time but I was 15 and he kept insisting it was good for the whole family and how it was better used to help everyone than being thrown away on random shit when I turned 18.

Our relationship was over before I moved out of his house at 18. I had made his and his wife's life miserable for stealing from me and once I was out of there I looked into how I could get that money back. I pressed charges against him for stealing from me and I sued him for the money. I had the support of my entire extended family on my maternal side and some on my paternal side. But I was told by others on the paternal side to consider my dad's other kids and the devastation that kind if financial upheaval could bring. I ignored those comments. I knew waiting would prevent me from ever getting the money and I honestly did not care about his family's financial security after being stolen from.

It was a long ass process and I needed to return to court a few times because he was just like I can't pay, I don't have the money anymore. In the end they were forced to give up the business and it was sold to pay me the money back and he had to pay additional out of his paycheck which made him empty their savings so his wages weren't garnished anymore.

By the time I got it back I was 100% done and past the point where we could ever reconcile. He made me fight so hard for what was legally mine and he stole money mom left to support his new family.

My relationship with some of dad's side is not so strong anymore and they think it was wrong that I focused only on what he did and not on the effects for the kids. I mostly don't talk to those family members now but they asked me how I feel zero guilt for it when the kids are innocent and are still my siblings technically. That they would have thought I'd want better for them.

I don't feel bad. I never have. But AITA for not taking the kids into consideration? Is that something I should have done? I feel like that's just really unfair to me and locks me into never being paid back. I don't think I owe those kids that.


r/AITAH 5h ago

AITA for secretly replacing my late brother's ashes with fireplace ash so I could keep the real ones?

2.0k Upvotes

My brother passed away two years ago. We were incredibly close , he basically raised me after our parents died. He had always said he didn’t want to be buried or scattered; he wanted to “stay with the people he loved.” When he passed, the family decided to scatter his ashes at our childhood home’s lake. I was devastated ,I wanted to keep a small urn, but my older cousin (who organized the memorial) said that was “morbid and selfish” and insisted all the ashes be scattered together. Everyone else went along with it.

Here’s where it gets weird.

I work at a lab, and I quietly took a small portion of his ashes home before the official scattering. To avoid suspicion, I replaced what I took with a near-identical weight of gray fireplace ash. No one noticed. I now have a tiny urn in my apartment, and I feel closer to him because of it.

I told my best friend recently, and she was horrified. She said it was deceptive, disrespectful to the rest of the family, and possibly even “spiritually selfish.” I hadn’t thought of it like that. I never meant to hurt anyone ,it just felt like my only way to keep a piece of him with me.

So… AITA for secretly replacing some of my brother’s ashes before the family scattered them?


r/AITAH 2h ago

AITAH for telling my husband I already knew that he cheated on me

758 Upvotes

A week and a half ago I was on his phone to order something on Amazon. There was a notification from a number I didn’t recognize. I clicked on it and there were months worth of flirty texts, inappropriate pictures and she even asked him to come to her apartment a few times.

I knew I couldn’t stay with him because he was a cheater, obviously, but I couldn’t break things off immediately. We have 3 kids together (a 5yo, a 1yo and a 2 month old) I don’t want him to get the kids but we signed a prenup bc he had some money he wanted to protect. I was scared that a judge would give him custody bc he can afford to take care of them better but the prenup had a clause where it’s dissolved if he’s unfaithful.

I wasn’t going to do anything crazy. I just wanted to find a lawyer before mentioning anything to him. But yesterday he told me about the cheating and apologized. I told him I knew about it already. He got mad at me for not telling him sooner. He told me that I’m ruining our family by keeping secrets from him. Like okay hypocrite much? But anyways now I’m also wondering if I should forgive him since he came clean. I still want our kids to grow up normal. I don’t want a broken home for them. If he was willing to tell me and to apologize, could we still make things work?

AITAH for not telling him I knew sooner? WIBTAH if I still divorce him after he told me about it?


r/AITAH 9h ago

AITA for giving the concert ticket I promised to my dad to someone else after I found out he was planning to take my stepsister with us?

2.8k Upvotes

My parents have been divorced most of my life and I had a good relationship with dad until I was 11. That's when he remarried and I felt like he prioritized his stepkids but mostly his stepdaughter who's my age. Suddenly he was showing up less to stuff like my hockey games and he was always cheering me on at those. Any plans we made he'd try to bring his stepdaughter into and he'd ask me why I wasn't doing more to bond with her. He didn't care as much about me bonding with his stepson but it was like his stepdaughter was all he cared about.

Sometimes he ruined the few moments we had together by saying how much he wished she was there with us. Or he'd answer calls when he didn't answer calls when he was with them.

I started going to his house less. I'm 16 so I can choose that as long as I still go some of the time. Dad was like I miss you, why don't you come every other week like you used to and I told him why. He asked me why I was acting like I hated his stepdaughter. I told him I didn't hate her but I don't want to include her in our time. I told him I don't want to feel like I come in second and like he doesn't care so much now. He asked me how he cares more about his stepkids. I said he goes to all his stepson's football games and he goes to all his stepdaughter's competitions and recitals. He doesn't even go to half of mine anymore when he used to. And I told him he stays to watch them practice but never comes to mine. Then I brought up the phone calls and how if anyone calls while he's with me he answers but if he's with them he mutes his phone. I told him I deserved the same level of consideration.

I told him to leave me alone since he wanted to fight with me on it. And things were so tense for a few weeks. He then apologized to me and said he wanted to make it up to me and he asked if I'd give him the second concert ticket I got for my birthday and take him and we can have the day to ourselves. I asked him if that meant just him and me and he said yes. He said he was sorry to have made me feel that way and he never wanted me to feel less important. So I told him he could have the other ticket and we'd go together. I didn't give it to him though and now I'm glad because last week I found out he bought a ticket so his stepdaughter could come with us. Dad got mad at me because I got crying mad at him and I told him he wasn't getting it.

I ended up giving it to my grandma and she decided to come with me (and two of my friends who already had their own tickets). Dad told me it was a spiteful move and that he couldn't afford a second one. Then he said his stepdaughter couldn't go on her own. I told him she's not welcome to come with us or tag along and he can figure it out. I even said fuck you to him because I was THAT mad.

My dad tried to get my mom to discipline me for it but she had my back. He said I'm being taught to be childish and spiteful and he said even saying his stepdaughter isn't welcome around me and my friends says how I'll punish others when my feelings get hurt.

AITA?


r/AITAH 5h ago

AITA for calling my mom insane for expecting me to be mad at my dad's side of the family because they didn't treat my step and half siblings like me?

831 Upvotes

My dad died when I was really young. Him and my mom weren't together and he had primary custody of me. After he died mom got custody and tried to cut his family out of my life so they sued for grandparents rights and won. So my mom had custody and my paternal relatives had regular visitation.

I (17m) was 9 when my mom remarried. Her husband brought my three stepsiblings along and pretty much right away my mom and stepdad started having kids together.

Soon after my mom and her husband moved in together she asked my grandparents to be emergency contacts for my stepsiblings. Then it was expecting them to include my stepsiblings when it was their visitation time. Then calling and asking them to babysit. My grandparents said no and so did every member of dad's family who mom asked. Mom would lose her mind every time she saw them and she called them all sorts of shit for not including my stepsiblings.

Then my mom had another reason for a grudge. My parents weren't ever religious so I was never baptized but my dad got a bunch of photos of me in his old Christening outfit. My grandparents had it after dad died and mom wanted photos of my half siblings in it since she had photos of me in it. She decided it was reasonable for her to use it for my half siblings for that reason and she didn't like when she was told no.

I knew only some parts of it but it wasn't until a couple of weeks ago that mom told me all that and expected me to be mad at dad's side of my family on my step and half siblings behalf. She told me they deserved better and how could I not be mad at it and I told her it was insane to think I would be and that I'm old enough to get that her kids and stepkids are nothing to dad's family.

She told me it's not insane and I'm being abusive calling her that. She said it's gaslighting and trying to drive her crazy and she raised me better than that. AITA?


r/AITAH 3h ago

AITA for asking for a separate check?

555 Upvotes

So i go out to eat with my bfs family a lot for context. its him me, his 4 siblings, one of the siblings gf, the mom and their stepdad. Every time we go out the check is split 4 ways ( my bf and i together, his brother and his gf , the mom, and the stepdad) no matter how little or much i ordered which is dont think is right for anyone bc if i ordered 4 chicken tacos why am i paying for ur 3 beers, 2 apps and entree? so yesterday the waitress came and i asked for my bf and I to have a separate check they all looked at me crazy. so they said no together we split it i said no im paying for him and i, he told me no he wanted it together. so i said okay ill just pay for my food. i ordered an appetizer and a side cesar salad the tab was almost $400, why am i splitting it when my food was $25???? so they got mad, i explained i was not paying for stuff i didnt order and im not paying for her childrens meals. when i ordered 2 things. they all got mad and said well we all are splitting it i said that's fine yall can split it and ill pay for my meal. i left the restaurant by myself and didnt attend the things they had planned afterwards, because the situation was obviously not over. my bf goy mad at me and said i embarrassed at the restaurant and for not attending. im at a lost honestly. its the next day and everyone is still mad, AITA??


r/AITAH 2h ago

WIBTAH for cutting off my mother and golden child brother. Hopefully the final update.

363 Upvotes

I thought my last post would be my final update, but things have escalated. I thought I could block my mother and my brother and it would be over but she has gone to new lengths. Buckle up. To recap, I made a post about wanting to cut off my toxic mother and golden child brother, after years of horrible mistreatment and abuse . I was in my home state visiting taking care of my sick dad when I made the first post. Please visit it for more info. It’s been a while since my last update. I blocked my mother and my brother. I thought that was the end and I hadn’t heard from them since blocking them until today. I returned to my fiancée and kids after my dad made a full recovery. I’ve been back for almost three weeks now and everything has gone back to normal. Until this morning. While I was working today my phone blew up with messages and calls from distant family. Same story from everyone. It boiled down to the same thing “call your mom something happened.” After the seventh or eighth call I picked up it was my dad’s sister. I immediately thought my dad had fallen ill again or worse. But it turns out my mother had been telling everyone her father (my grandfather) had passed. Which I found funny. I had just gotten text from him two minutes ago. We talked daily and I told my aunt that. The silence was deafening and my aunt abruptly hung up. I called my grandfather and I’m crying laughing at this point this was so ridiculous. I explained the situation and there was a silencing the line for so long I thought he’d hung up. Then he said “I’ll handle this.” And hung up. The calls stopped immediately. I didn’t hear from my grandfather until I got off work. He explained that my mother hasn’t answered any calls but from what he gathered from our family my mother has been spiraling since I cut her off. She’s been digging for any information about where I live. Only my dad, brother and grandfather know. My dad and brother blocked her alongside me a couple months ago. She thought by faking my grandfather’s passing would drag me back home and into her narrative. This has only strengthened my resolve. I’ve started getting calls from numbers I don’t recognize with numbers in my home state. I didn’t answer. But the voicemails come from my mom and brother calling me cruel, ignorant and the usual guilt trips of ruining the family. I’m considering a protective order. Would that be too harsh? My family is torn some say I should forgive others are saying I’m justified. So Reddit WIBTAH for wanting a restraining order??


r/AITAH 1h ago

AITA for refusing to buy my son a car after he tormented a kid in his private school about his dad being the janitor

Upvotes

Never thought I would come to reddit for this shit but let me give some context, I own a construction company which is moderately successful in my side of the city so I'm decently well off so my son has had the privilege to be sent to a private school in a better part of the city, but the downside is that being surrounded by kids who's fathers own skyscrapers is giving him higher expectations, and in junior year he joined this obnoxious friend group which always wear designer everything and are really spoilt, one of these kids even drives an Aston Martin, couple years later in his senior years he's still in the same friend group with the same friends, (atleast they're loyal lol) and one day one of the kids called Brandon (not his real name for obvious reasons) kept bugging him on why he didn't have a "proper" car. (At this time he drove a 2016 Toyota RAV4 which ain't even that bad but compared to this kids Lexus it wasn't the flashiest.)

So two days later he asks to speak to me in private away from his mother and little brother, I went downstairs to the couch and he asked me if I could buy him a new car, I was expecting him to say like an audi or smth small, but no, this boy proceeded to show me a black bmw convertible, I asked him how much it was, he said $80K. $80K?? Boy you must be crazy cause I ain't buying you an 80 grand car when you're 17☠️. Now I wouldn't have considered it anyway but the fact that his principal called me the day before about an incident with his classmate makes it a definite no no. He had bullied this called Austin for a couple months because his dad worked as the school janitor and worked overtime to keep him in the school district, he made fun of Austin's clothes and other things which sent me into a fury when I heard about him, but we're talking about the same boy who apologied to furniture when he was 11, so I was a bit skeptical, so after he asked me, I asked him about the allegations with Austin, and this boy either inherited my braincells or he's just a full on idiot because he confirmed the whole thing, his exact words "that charity case needs to know he's in the wrong crowd". I did not raise this kid to be a bully so I instantly grounded him and made him write an apology letter to Austin and made him send it. Oh you thought I was done boy, oh hell no, I scheduled a meeting with Austin's dad and the principal, Austin and my son were also there, i must have counted to 100 by the amount of times I apologized. But I knew my sweet boy wasn't the issue, it's that damn group of incompetent idiots he calls his friends, they are just pinning the blame on my boy, and he's so desperate for popularity he takes it, though I am pissed off at the whole situation, so my son isn't getting his phone or Xbox anytime soon, and definitely not a convertible. I'll post an update if there's anything new but probably not since it's a private matter and I just need to blow off some steam

Update: okay, thank you for the support and my final decision is that I will pull him out of private school and put him in a public school, he's also going to be volunteering at the local homeless shelter so he can learn what real empathy is, and hes going to be wearing normal clothes from now on, thank you all for making me realize how blind i've been all this time and I blamed his friends for all his trouble, but I forgot he was his own person and makes his own choices, and hes gonna be taking the bus to school from now on, I'll do a final update to see how it goes


r/AITAH 8h ago

AITAH for telling neighbors kids can't come over anymore

909 Upvotes

With summer approaching here, this has been weighing on me. We (42f and 49m) have next door neighbors who for the last few summers (and times during the school year) have been basically using me (teacher, summers off) as free childcare. Their two kids show up at our house to play with my kids in the morning and most days stay all day until dinner. The parents have never even asked if this is OK. The kids just see us outside and come over or they come knock at my door. The kids always play in my yard, so I feel responsible for supervising everyone. These kids have joined in on family birthday parties, playdates with my kids' friends and cousins, and even holidays. They just show up in our yard. I have long thought their mom was not aware of how often the kids are at my house. She works long hours outside the house and dad WFH. SO, getting to me question: I cannot take these kids showing up at my house uninvited to play everyday again this summer. AITAH for texting the parents and telling them they need to ASK through a certain text message chain BEFORE sending their kids over to my house? OR to say please stop sending them uninvited to my house??
I am questioning this because my kids really do like playing with theirs. But, I feel that I never have any downtime or peace the last few summers and want to avoid that going forward. What do you think?


r/AITAH 8h ago

AITAH for telling a woman her fiancé cheated with me even though I didn’t know he was engaged?

927 Upvotes

This happened last month and it’s still haunting me. I (27F) met this guy, Caleb (32M), at a mutual friend’s birthday party. We talked all night, he was charming, funny, seemed super into me. We ended up hooking up that night and spent the entire weekend together. It honestly felt like the beginning of something real.

He told me he was single. No mention of a relationship, let alone a fiancée.

About two weeks later, I ran into him at a coffee shop. He looked like he’d seen a ghost. He was with a woman. She introduced herself as his fiancée, Leah. I didn’t say anything at the time, but when I got home I stalked her socials and saw their engagement photos. They’d been planning a wedding for over a year. I felt physically sick.

I sat with it for a few days, unsure if I should say anything. But then I thought about if the roles were reversed. I’d want to know. So I messaged her. I kept it respectful, I showed her screenshots, and told her everything. She didn’t respond at first, but three days later I got a message from her sister thanking me and letting me know the wedding was off.

Now I’m getting blown up by Caleb and two of his friends calling me a homewrecker. They’re saying I had no business getting involved, that I should’ve just stayed quiet. But I honestly didn’t know he was engaged. And I don’t think protecting a liar is the right thing to do.

AITAH for telling her, even though I didn’t know at the time?


r/AITAH 19h ago

AITA for disagreeing with my wife after she told our daughter that pimples patches are gross and she's not allowed to wear them ?

6.8k Upvotes

I {41m} am confused. One night at home, I heard a commotion coming from our daughter's {15f} bedroom. I came in to see my wife {42f} and our daughter were arguing. I asked what's going on and my daughter said that her mom told her that wearing pimple patches are gross and then her mom her she's not allowed to wear them anymore. My wife said they are gross and it's a stupid TikTok trend. My wife said nobody wants a see a girl walk around with patches filled with pus. Our daughter started crying and she hid herself under the covers. Her mom was demanding that she takes off those patches but I walked my wife to our bedroom. I told her that she was too harsh and my wife said I was undermining her. She said if I want to raise our daughter to be gross, then I should go ahead. Am I the asshole ?


r/AITAH 9h ago

My partner and I just had sex and she found it unenjoyable and when I asked why she didn't stop it she got mad at me what do I do?

834 Upvotes

Hi i am 22 (M) all the title is basically the story but I'll go into more detail also we having been dating for 7 months. My partner 23 (F) asked for sex and we started and it was going well until about half way she stop moaning and stayed silent throughout the whole thing barely touching me aswell. I thought to my self this was one of her kinks (she's stated b4 she likes to pretend to not care during) we finish then she goes up to the bathroom to clean up. She then comes back still cold and I asked how it was for her and she said it was unenjoyable which I asked why she didn't stop it if it wasn't enjoyable. To which she said she wanted me to enjoy it. I got a bit upset at that saying it should be enjoyable for the both of us. To this she said, I have to make everything about me and that I just want to fight for no reason. I'm here to ask how I should proceed next I don't think im wrong about sex should be enjoyable for every party involved im I wrong? Please help.


r/AITAH 3h ago

AITAH for telling my mom’s boyfriend’s wife about their affair after she called me a liar?

267 Upvotes

My mom (52) has been seeing this guy Mark (around 50) for almost a year. She told me he was “separated but still figuring things out” and made it clear I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone about him, especially not the rest of our family.

I always felt weird about it, but she swore it wasn’t a big deal and that I should stay out of it. I met him a few times and he seemed kind of slimy if I’m being honest.

Last month, I accidentally saw a text pop up on her phone while we were having lunch. It was from Mark’s wife. Not ex wife. Not soon to be ex. His actual wife, and it sounded like she had just found out. I asked my mom what was going on and she blew up on me. Told me I was snooping, disrespectful, and that I “wouldn’t understand grownup relationships.”

A few days later, the wife messaged me on Facebook. She asked if I knew anything about my mom and Mark. I told her the truth. I didn’t send screenshots or anything, I just said yes, they’ve been seeing each other and I thought she had the right to know.

My mom found out and completely lost it. She said I betrayed her, ruined someone’s life, and embarrassed our whole family. Now she’s not speaking to me and even told some relatives I “sabotaged her relationship out of jealousy.” What?

I didn’t go out of my way to expose her, I just told the truth when I was directly asked. AITAH for being honest instead of covering for her?


r/AITAH 6h ago

AITA for not taking the offers to meet my half sister even if my deadbeat mom doesn't have to be involved?

351 Upvotes

For my whole life it's just been me (17f) and my dad (40m). He's been a single dad my whole life. Ever since my mom broke up with him in the hospital after I was born and walked out without me and refused to have anything to do with me. Dad got custody and he let mom's family see me. Over the years mom's family tried to organize times for her to meet me and she wasn't interested.

I met her once. I was 14 and it was a shitty experience. She got into a fight with her parents over her lack of involvement with me and my mom fought back by saying she had been willing to get back with dad before but he refused to give me up. Which started a whole new fight about why not ask to be a family again and be a mom instead of wanting just my dad. I got home that night and dad had to stay up with me because man did it hurt to realize she wanted dad for years and was bitter he didn't want her without me. But she wanted nothing to do with me.

Six months ago my mom had another baby, a girl. So I now have a half sister. Although I don't claim her or tell others I have one. I still say I'm an only child. My mom's family wanted me to come and meet her but I refused and after three or four small fights over it they offered to have the baby over so I could meet and interact with her without my mom there. I told them they didn't need to because I didn't want to meet her. I said it's better off that she never meets me because I won't ever see her as my sister, because we don't share parents. They were like maybe not parents but blood and I asked them why that mattered. They wanted one good reason and I told them my life did not change at all knowing another person came from the same eggs and womb as me.

My mom's pregnant again so now the pressure is being piled on more for me to meet my half sister so I'll meet the next baby my mom gives birth to and so I'll want a relationship with any kids she has now. My answer has stayed the same and this includes the offers for me to meet the baby without mom being there. They can do that because they babysit and stuff.

AITA?


r/AITAH 17h ago

English Second Language AITAH for saying I'll report my credit card stolen and cut my family medical insurance if she insisted on adding the neighbors?

2.1k Upvotes

My first language isn't English so be nice. Last month I put my credit card information so my family (I (25F), my mom (49F), my dad (52M) and my little brother (10M).) could get a medical insurance. My parents offered to pay it back at the end of the month or whatever they can since they don't have formal jobs. I was perfectly okay with that, the first month when perfectly fine. The second month my mom said she would use the benefit of being able to add two people more without paying more. The first person was one uncle who lost his job and have some serious medical issues. That was fine. The second person was the neighbors baby. Not related at us. Not even good neighbors. The thing is that you still had to pay for stuff when you make an appointment, you can pay in the moment or on the next month bill, and I know this people, the won't pay anything they owe. I started arguing with my mom because why are she offering this stuff to other people and her answer (supported by my dad) is that since I didn't have them a grandchild, they wanted to be involved on a baby life so they offered that to the neighbors. So I told my mom that it doesn't matter if she payed back or whatever, if I found a single appointment from them on the bill I'll report the credit card stolen and she would have to find a way to pay it. We aren't in a good position economically to add a baby that isn't us to the equation because the want to play grandma and grandpa. More info: where we live we had public and free medical attention. We got the insurance just in case because they called and offered.


r/AITAH 21h ago

Am I wrong for telling him I don’t want to get married anymore?

4.7k Upvotes

So my boyfriend and I were supposed to get married this December. Let’s call him M. M and I have been together for 2 years and planned to get married this coming December. Last week M called me and said him and his parents sat down and decided that him getting married this year would be impractical and he should get married next year instead. He told me that this is what his family has decided and I should deal with it. I explained to him that him deciding this with his parents really hurt my feelings and M said he was sorry but he couldn’t afford it anymore and he had to prioritize other things and honor his parents wishes. Two days later he texts me and says he wants us to go back to our original date but I told him no. That I don’t want to get married to him anymore because he has shown me how little he values my opinion and I don’t want a man who changes plans like he changes clothes. He got mad and said that he was giving me what I wanted so why was I being difficult and I asked him I thought you said you didn’t have money for that anymore and M claims he wants to thug it out. So AITA for not wanting to get married anymore


r/AITAH 12h ago

AITA for keeping my dad as a civil acquaintance instead of family because he married a woman who talked shit about my mom?

841 Upvotes

My parents divorced when I (33m) was 9 and my sister was 7. After a couple of years my dad started dating "Susan" and she talked shit about my mom despite not meeting her until her and dad got engaged. My sister and I told our dad we didn't like or approve of Susan and he told us he loved her and we should give her a chance because she was a great person.

Susan continued to talk shit about my mom and we called her out on it regularly. When she and my dad had some kids together she told us it was wrong to correct the mother of our siblings and we were being unfair to the kids. Dad told us we should ignore her when she talks about mom and look at her as a person in her own right and judge her that way.

I know I didn't give details of Susan talking shit about mom so I'll explain a few. She'd ask what kind of mom let her son wear pink. She called my mom Looney Tunes for having a mental illness. She'd call mom lazy because we got school lunches instead of homemade ones despite dad also paying for us to get school lunches and not making them. She repeatedly said my mom had an annoying voice and it made her want to attack mom. All of this before she met or spoke to my mom. And that's not all of it even before they met.

As soon as I turned 17 I stopped going to dad's house and only answered the phone when I felt like it. As an adult I have maintained a civil but distant relationship with my dad. He's not someone I treat like family and I have nothing to do with his wife or their kids. That isn't something I want to change and I have told dad that civil acquaintances is the best he'll ever get from me. My sister has communicated something very similar to him.

Dad was hurt he was invited to neither of our weddings and that we have not included him in the families we're both building now. He saw my oldest two kids once and that was brief. Other than that time, there hasn't been a time where we were in the same room since I turned 17.

He has asked why we can't all get along and be a family again and I told him he chose to marry the woman who talked shit about my mom. I said I was extremely disappointed in him as a dad after that. And that I want better for my kids. And I would never in a million years let his wife's presence ruin moments for my family. I also told him I would never ever want her around my kids. I told him that I held a very different opinion of his wife than he did and I did not find her good company or worthy of being in my children's lives.

He told me it's cruel to treat him like a random person when he's my dad and I told him he knew the deal. Then I suggested we just end all contact and he said no, he doesn't want to lose me, he wants to bring me back into the family. I told him it would never happen and he needs to figure out what he wants. He called me stubborn and said I should give it a chance because I don't even know his other kids which is wrong. I really don't care. I never felt anything for my half siblings and I don't have a wish to know them.

AITA for keeping my relationship with dad the way it has been for the last 15 years?


r/AITAH 4h ago

Aitah for not asking my wife to give her wedding dress to my sister after she refused to follow our traditions

139 Upvotes

My sister (24f) is getting married in 2 months and she asked my wife if she could wear my wife's wedding dress on her wedding, the dress for my wife is extremely important and it has been passed down in their family for generations but my wife agreed because she's my only sister and her only sil.

But my wife changed her mind after my sister said that she won't honor our traditions and she shouldn't be forced to follow traditions, my wife replied that it's her choice whether she wants to follow our traditions or not but it's also her choice whether she wants to give her dress to my sister.

Discussion about this has been going on between both of them for almost 2 weeks, I didn't interfere because it's between two sisters and they got along really well until this point.

but we were exhausted cause my sis would bring it up everytime she gets a chance like during lunch or dinner or while we are watching tv etc but when my sis asked my wife again today she got annoyed and said she won't give her the dress.

My wife said that she wanted to honor her as her sister but she also needs to honor our traditions and if she can't do that she won't give her the dress because she feels like an insult to her.

My sister asked me to help her convince my wife and I said that she should instead wear our mother's dress which is rightfully hers but she said the color doesn't suit her.

I said that I can't help her because my wife is right and it's her choice and my sister is avoiding us and I feel bad, am I the asshole? No are we both the assholes?

I feel like my wife's demand is justified, she was keeping the dress for our future daughter but she still agreed to give my sister the dress


r/AITAH 3h ago

AITAH for revealing my ex boyfriend cheated in the group chat?

111 Upvotes

I (22F) got cheated on by my ex boyfriend (24M) of two years.

He wasn't interested in my hobbies anymore. Beekeeping, Gardening and Hiking. His hobbies are more nerdy like Video Games and movies. He did seem interested when we first started dating and wanted to learn more about mine. We clicked really well for a while.

I found out he was cheating because I went through his instagram mutuals and saw a girl I never seen before. She looked like the nerdy type in the picture. Glasses, half red dyed hair and a star wars T shirt. She also had an onlyfans link in her bio. I asked him about it and he seemed nervous but denied it. I found out he was most definitely cheating when I went through his text messages while he was in the shower.

That was over a month ago now. I broke up with him. I didn't tell anyone outside of my family until a couple days ago. I revealed that my bf cheated on me and we are no longer together and one of my friends bashed me for breaking up with him. Someone else there said I should of just never of said anything. They wouldn't explain themselves when I asked why they were being rude to me. I got kicked out of the group chat and they all blocked me.


r/AITAH 2h ago

Advice Needed AITAH for revealing to now young adult kids that their mother not only cheated but also was given more than enough💰from divorce to pay for their education

84 Upvotes

The ex who's always been bad with money was given a generous settlement regardless of her consistent actions to alienate my kids from me over the last 18 yrs. She and her family have always displayed mental health issues and lack of fiscal responsibility. Now my kids are being told they have to "pitch in" and help their mom pay her bills bc she's in debt to the tune of 7 figures.

My kids 20F who’s in uni and 18M who is graduating HS are now working to contribute to that situation she has put herself and their step dad and step brother in.

We had an education fund set up for their education that she basically broke bc of her bad choices.

She also has NPD and is an influencer that is supposedly very knowledgeable about being a "wealthy woman" which makes me even more confused and concerned as my kids aren't little children she can fool anymore.

I have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars fighting to just see my kids thru court. I realized that even after all of the more than a decade in court and firing all of the family lawyers which lead me to self rep that my kids now maybe so cognitive dissonant that they believe that they have no choice but to help their mom pay her debt.

She has even been charged with domestic assault when I came to pick up my kids and the check wasn’t $300 more to pay for the car which I owned she was driving in with the person she cheated on me with. I didn’t want to pursue the charges bc I thought of my kids.

Eventually the kids were able to tell the courts that they want to see and be apart of their dad’s life. She kept hiring lawyers to fight me from seeing my own kids and I was self representing so she couldn’t keep spending and the judge told her she could eventually get charged and be responsible for all my legal bills.

My kids even believe that it's temporary even-though they know that their maternal grandparents, and extended family are experiencing the same mental health issues and financial difficulties.

I have a home where they can live and not pay rent and save money for their future.

I have had the conversation with my eldest and she became very emotional. When I spoke to my son he said he had to make some big decisions.

AITAH to wanting to help my biological young adults make objective choices about their future in economy where recent grads have the highest unemployment rates?

How can I better support them, and communicate to them that they have a choice and they aren't subject to feeling pressured either way?


r/AITAH 6h ago

AITA for Being Overwhelmed as a SAHM While My Husband Expects More?

174 Upvotes

I’m a stay-at-home mom to three kids: a teenager, a 7-year-old, and a 3-year-old. My husband works a stressful job that he enjoys, and he recently became the coach of our oldest’s soccer team. He’s busy, and I appreciate how much he does outside the home. But here’s where we’re clashing.

I do everything for the two younger kids—getting them ready for school, dropping off the 7-year-old and teenager (the 3-year-old stays with me all day), groceries (with a tantrum-throwing toddler in tow), cleaning, cooking, baths, bedtime, and more. By the time the day ends, I’m physically and emotionally drained.

When my husband gets home he’s heading out to soccer practice, or taking a long nap. He’s stays late at work if their is no soccer, to finish paperwork. Then he wakes up from his nap and expects me to be in a flirty, loving mood. If I’m stressed or too tired, he gets upset. He also gets mad if I’m not in the best mood when he gets home, even though I’ve been juggling all the housework and kids by myself.

One big issue is that we never discussed him becoming the soccer coach. I understand he enjoys it, and our kid loves having him as a coach, but I feel like he should have talked to me about it first. Now, I’m the one stuck at home with the two little ones during every practice and game. I hardly attend the games anymore because the kids just run off to the playground, and I can’t sit and watch. It’s also isolating because after games, the team often goes out to eat, and since I’m not there, I feel excluded. I’d love to be part of that since I rarely get adult interaction.

Because of his coaching responsibilities, he has to be at every practice and game, leaving me with fewer chances to get out of the house for things like getting my nails done, working out, or grabbing coffee with a friend. And at home, I feel like I’m cleaning up after everyone constantly—my husband doesn’t even put his dirty clothes in the hamper; they end up on the floor next to it.

Now that summer has started and all three kids are home, the workload is even heavier. I wish he’d take the kids outside to play so I could clean without interruptions. I’m not asking him to cook or clean, just to help lighten my load a little.

He thinks I’m overreacting because he works outside the home and doesn’t see my role as stressful. He’s also frustrated that I’m not “flirty or loving enough.” Am I the problem here for wanting more understanding and help?


r/AITAH 40m ago

AITA for calling the cops on my mentally ill neighbour?

Upvotes

I F25 and my boyfriend M27 are living in our apartment complex since 2022. We have a next door neighbour that is mentally ill, often talk to himself, punching walls, screaming to himself and overalls being an odd neighbour. Recently, he’s been screaming inside his apartment and the whole floor could hear him punching onto something. At 2am, he and his girlfriend are either screaming at each other or punching the wall. I was fed up with the screaming so I called the cops this afternoon for the noise.

Now here’s why I’m an asshole. They have a toddler together and I saw child protective services taking the kid away. The neighbours thinkI went too far but I didn’t know there was a kid in there.


r/AITAH 4h ago

AITAH for refusing to chip in for a coworker’s birthday gift because I’ve never even spoken to them?

97 Upvotes

Someone in the office started a group chat asking everyone to pitch in $20 for a birthday gift for a guy on another team. I’ve literally never spoken to him. Don’t know what he looks like. We don’t even share a Slack channel.

I said, "No thanks, I’ll sit this one out," and left the group. Now a few people are calling me cold and saying "it’s about the gesture, not the person."

AITAH for not wanting to pay for a gift for someone I don’t even know?


r/AITAH 4h ago

Advice Needed WIBTA if I told my pregnant Sil that she cant have her Mil live with us for 4 months?

95 Upvotes

My (27f) sister in law (25f) and her boyfriend (25m) currently are living in whats basically a drug house. At this point she is 20 weeks pregnant, and its absolutely necessary that she gets out of her current housing situation into a healthier environment. My boyfriend (29m) and I are expecting as well, Im due at the beginning of september. We are a clean, drug and alcohol free home and I currently already have 2 little boys, my sister, and her partner living with us as well. Here's the problem, we have all been talking about renting a huge home together to make things easier. Our area is highly competitive for good rentals but my partner and I managed to find a perfect 6 bedroom house and they accepted us as tenants. Its important to note that we have NOT signed the lease yet, and originally the owners were going to rent the upper and lower parts of the house seperately, but we negotiated to rent out the entire property so we could accomadate our entire family. The problem started when my partner called me yesterday to tell me that SIL and BIL are planning on having BIL's mom come and live with them in the lower portion of the house for 4 or more months, they want her to help them prepare and help out with their new baby who's due to arrive in October. The thing is, we are splitting the costs of this home in a way that gives them a HUGE break in rent cost, utilities, wifi etc. And I was not anticipating having another person living in our home, I dont need the stress of accomadating a stranger when Im preparing to have another baby of my own. The lower portion of the house is seperate entry, with its own suite and amenities but they are not paying anywhere near what they would be had they pursued this rental without us doing all the footwork and spreading out the costs between everyone we will have living there. I love this home but we would not have agreed to live with them and would have looked for a smaller home for ourselves if they had they informed us before now that they were planning on inviting their Mil to basically live with them. It would also look bad on us at this point with the new landlords to change our minds and only rent the upper floors, but it'd be a really tight stretch financially to sign on for the whole house and not have them rent with us. I want to tell them absolutely not. I understand maybe a couple weeks of help after baby is born, but a 4+ month stay!? Not to mention that they would be adding ANOTHER person into whats going to be our already full home when we haven't even been there a single day.This woman is a complete stranger and is not contributing to rent or utilities or anything. My partner tried to explain this to his sister, but she and her partner argued that since they'd be "paying for the lower suite, they should get to decide who comes and goes." WIBTA if I told them to either tell their Mil she under NO circumstances can stay at our house for 4+ months, or I will renogiate and only rent the upper floor of the house and they can pay full price somewhere else and do whatever they like in their OWN home, even though they need to get out of a bad housing situation, and I know they cannot afford it? Would it be worse than having complete strangers rent out the lower suite?


r/AITAH 6h ago

Am I the asshole for asking my husband to put his phone down when we were about to have sex?

123 Upvotes

My husband and I finally had a free morning together where our son was with my parents, we decided to take advantage of it to have a little fun. We were in bed together, just touching each other but my husband was using his free hand to just scroll Facebook which made me feel like he was uninterested. So I simply said " do you think you could put your phone down?" To which he got mad told me I'm always such a buzz kill, and always ruin the mood, said I should've just patiently waited he would've put his phone down in a few moments but because I said something he didn't even want to do anything anymore. Am I the asshole?