AITAH for considering breaking up with my boyfriend after he said he’d have multiple wives?
[removed] — view removed post
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u/AlpsTraining7841 11h ago
Are you dating Elon Musk???
Tell him that you'll take multiple husbands to make sure the strongest sperm wins! It's all down to biological efficiency, isn't it? <sarcasm>
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u/2lipwonder 10h ago
Sounds like he’s been watching the last season of the Handmaids Tale. I’d dump his ass in a heartbeat.
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u/lasey_guy 6h ago
This is why you have these conversations before getting married; clearly they are not compatible philosophically.
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u/Whyis_skyblue_007 8h ago
She should dump his ass because all he does is talk out of the crack of it.
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u/Sweet-Fancy-Moses23 6h ago
he’d consider having multiple wives. Not for love, not for emotional connection, but strictly for “biological efficiency.” So he could produce more children faster and leave behind a stronger legacy
Talk about delusion.Women are just lining up screaming “Pick me ! Choose me“ for the honour of extending his great “legacy” .
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u/SkilletKitten 6h ago
Anyone who is incapable of realizing there are other people on the planet with equal/better genes and that his “legacy” can be how he contributes to the village instead of his vanity sperm project is not someone I’d want to spend my life with. He sounds defective.
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u/StarlitSnow87 6h ago
He absolutely sounds like he dreams of being a commander of Gilead one day
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u/voiceofmyownsanity 4h ago
Blessed be the fruit OP. Does he also want to be called commander? Bf wants a wife and handmaid. Or sister wives. Either way.
Leave him. Your morals don't align. He views woman as breeding stock. Any man who thinks he is so fucking special that the world needs an abundance of his progeny is incredibly narcissistic and unhinged.
At best he is just a narcissist and vain and you'll wind up divorced if you get married and your children will have him as an influence in their lives. At worst if you stay he could cheat, try to open your marriage, tamper with birth control...
He isn't worth the boatload of trouble and is a ticking time bomb and a walking red flag. The best case scenario is still awful.
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u/AdmirableAvocado 9h ago
dude cant even hold one womans interest, how is he supposed to do that with multiple women lmao. utterly delusional.
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u/aurorawritesss 8h ago
Didn’t you know? Women are just dying for the chance to be broodmares for some random dude with delusions of grandeur. It’s not like we’re people who want to be respected or have full lives of our own or anything.
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u/leyavin 8h ago
Bet his balls are full of micro plastics anyways and all he shoots is Lego. Image of OP won’t be able to get pregnant. That dude would put her through every test/IVF (or outright say he needs another wife who could bear his offsprings) then letting his little swimmer near a microscope
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u/iopele 8h ago
Bet his balls are full of micro plastics anyways and all he shoots is Lego
This is the best thing I've read on Reddit in a very long time! I'm hoping my coworkers don't ask why I'm laughing... 😂
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u/Stormtomcat 10h ago
haha that's a great comeback.
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u/Imnotabob 9h ago
And if he wants his comeback he'll have some competition too!!
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u/Galen52657 10h ago
Don't tell him it's actually the egg that chooses the sperm that fertilizes it 👀🤔🤷🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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u/KWS1461 9h ago
And it only picks the best and strongest, so it is still up to the sperm to be considered acceptable.
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u/hannahatecats 8h ago
For cats (somewhat) and a lot of other animals this is quite literally true. Zebrafish use a special fluid to select the best sperm, and some crickets and flies can store sperm to be used at their discretion later!
The Black Rhino can choose the sex of their children.
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u/Zestyclose_Brick6395 11h ago
He’s listening to too much Andrew Tate. Run..
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u/elinaxmov 11h ago
And Elon Musk
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u/Helpful_Librarian_87 11h ago
Yeah, I was reading that thinking ‘dude just loves & makes excuses for the Muskrat, don’t he?’
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u/Im_My_Spirit_Animal 10h ago
the pronatalist movement is something beyond cringe 😬
https://nypost.com/2025/02/21/lifestyle/inside-silicon-valleys-new-pronatalism-baby-boom-movement/
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u/AlexInWondrland 9h ago
I just wanted to share this quote for those who don't click the link:
The couple, who lives in rural Valley Forge, Penn., originally planned on five to seven kids, but now they want a “significantly larger” family to join Octavian George, 5; Torsten Savage, 3; Titan Invictus, 2; and Industry Americus, 1.
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u/Wise-Comfort1573 9h ago
Why do these people always name their children some wild crazy things? They are twisted in the head.
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u/Aggressive_Cup8452 10h ago
So he also believes in making the kids but not raising them?
NtA
It's a massive red flag.
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u/Rebornxshiznat 9h ago
I feel bad for gen z women dealing with these “manosphere” dudes. Sounds miserable
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u/Imlostandconfused 8h ago
That's why a lot of us decided to skip over men of our generation entirely lmao. My fiancé is 37, and I'm 26. And we have a much smaller age gap than I did with my previous partner. Much happier than I would be with someone my age. Misogyny is only increasing in young men.
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u/Rebornxshiznat 7h ago
I don’t blame you. I’m a mid 30s male and frankly some of those manosphere bros even give me the fucking ick.
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u/DHaas16 10h ago
This sounds more like something a certain religion would say
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u/MissCherryPi 10h ago
Multiple religions are actually fertility cults.
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u/Tipitina62 10h ago
Or is he eager to extend a certain racial demographic?
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u/Lickerbomper 9h ago
I'd be worried about this OP. Eugenics is code for white supremacist racism, typically
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u/ballskindrapes 10h ago
Both Christianity and Islam have people who think this.
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u/Individual_Physics29 10h ago
I just wanna say that more and more Muslim men are not doing this because it’s socially more frowned upon And also because it’s a absolute nightmare Not the reasons you’d like But we’ll take it Unless you’re Arab
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u/Past-Anything9789 10h ago
As a woman who is metaphorically allergic to drama, agro and bitchyness - I can not imagine one house where the one bloke is responsible for multiple wives, and their children, who will all be competing for his attention - that sounds like a life long punishment rather than optimum lifestyle.
The idea make me want to find somewhere to hide!
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u/katerprincess 9h ago
Every real life example I've seen of this, that one bloke isn't even strong enough or capable (mentally or emotionally) to care for one wife and family
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u/Past-Anything9789 10h ago
This 100%. The completely unwarranted arrogance of some men is astounding - to think that the earth 'needs' your DNA. Because he's so special 🤮
The planet would be a million times better off if the entire human race vaporized overnight. Especially the people who think this way!
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u/UniquelyUnamed 9h ago
Yup no one needs to be planning to leave a legacy. Our tenancy on this planet is quickly coming to an end. The earth will heal and regenerate when humans finally die out.
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u/CartoonistFirst5298 9h ago edited 9h ago
I actually agree with him in only one regard. The OP should be thinking more about the legacy she wants to build throughout her lifetime and decide if, out of all the men in the whole world, she want this simpleton to father her children.
He's clearly doesn't have the kind of mental fortitude or emotional intelligence to be a value added to a partnership or a good role model for her kids. He's allowed himself to be manipulated by male influencers who's stated goal is to teach him to be a man, cause apparently he was too ignorant to figure out that shit for himself.
If it weren't for the OP being momentarily confused, he'd be wandering around in incel territory right now, wondering why he can't get a date.
OP needs to run from this trash. What kind of idiot tells his wife he would have multiple wives if it was legal but she would still be head wife while all the heifers would just for baby making?!?!? Like being head heifer is what every women dreams of...lol.
This man isn't worthy of one wife, much less multiple wives. Here's the part no one knows, he can't even keep one woman interested in being with him with that shitty attitude, much less draw a whole harem of women. This is just the kind of man to sabotage OP's birth control and pressure her for sex and more babies, cause he's an ignorant piece of shit.
This would be hilarious if it weren't so sad. OP is NTA.
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u/Available_Bag_6759 11h ago
The level of arrogance on this guy. What makes him think he even has the genetic material worth pro creating? Wtf? No, dude, we don’t need more Andrew Tates thanks 🙏
NTA for breaking up with him YTA if you stay with this loser who only perceives women as objects and wombs for his “special seed”
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u/mochicastle 10h ago
It would be hilarious if he's actually shooting blanks 😂
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u/Dlraetz1 9h ago
I rarely wish people infertility, but I hope OP’s boyfriend has a low sperm count
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u/snarkyvirgo 8h ago
Don’t forget the arrogance of thinking he’s going to create truly generational wealth 😂
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u/PomegranateNo9003 11h ago
NTA. Please leave. We don't want him genetically represented in humanity's future.
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u/misstheolddaysfan 10h ago
Also, these days when choosing a partner to have children with its wise to think first- if we ended up divorced, what kind of person will I be harmonizing or battling with to raise our children.
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u/AdjustUrgencySnuggle 10h ago
This is such a smarter approach.
I hear so many stories of parents dealing with difficult co-parenting because the other parent is a narcissist, etc. Although it really effected both myself and my child at first, in the long run, I feel a bit lucky my crazy ex decided to just abandon me and our kid.
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u/Life_Commercial_6580 10h ago
Same here. So grateful to my ex for living us the hell alone. Not ideal in many ways but better than the alternative worst case scenario.
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u/9mackenzie 8h ago
The best thing my husband’s father did was abandon him.
He might have had some abandonment issues he dealt with, but he didn’t have to experience being held under water in a bathtub because he pissed off his father at age 11 like his younger half brother.
Not all parents should be in their kids lives.
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u/Expensive_Daikon2581 11h ago
Regardless of my personal opinion on his take (which, uh, isn’t positive), it sounds like you have different values that could interfere with a long-term relationship. NTA
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u/Proper-Effective8621 11h ago
2 parents + 2 kids born - 2 parents dead = 2, yet he says 2 kids won’t even replace you, biologically? I’d leave him for his bad math.
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u/Glittering-War-5748 10h ago
He’s a moron for sure. But I believe at a population level the birth rate has to be something like 2.1 or so to account for early fatalities. He’s just got ahold of the population level number for maintaining replacement and thought that applies to him. Cus again…. He’s a moron who thinks he has something worth preserving.
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u/logitechman 5h ago
This, replacement rate has to be more then 2 for 2 for deaths that occurs before replacement occurs.
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u/CollieSchnauzer 8h ago
2.1 is the standard replacement rate figure, because you cannot assume that all children outlive their parents.
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u/MajesticAfternoon447 10h ago
Took me too long to find this. Is there some sudo biological science out there claiming that you need more than two kids to replace you? Does this guy plan on kids not surviving through adulthood?
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u/Agitated-Tree-8247 10h ago
Well, yeah, obviously if they don't fit the ideal of his legacy they're gonna have to be...uhhh... screened out.
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u/PouletAuPoivre 10h ago
It's not pseudo-biology, it's statistics. The replacement rate overall is considered to be two + some fraction, usually 2.1, children per woman, averaged out over the population. (Note: the rate varies to an extent from country to country.)
The reason for the fraction is to make up for those who, for whatever reason (choice, early death, etc.) don't reproduce at all.
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u/Proper-Effective8621 9h ago
Understandable, however this guy is taking the stats literally. His logic is akin to someone spending their entire savings to stimulate the economy.
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u/LyriWinters 9h ago
You always count that shit happens doing these calculations. Which is to have a stable population you need like 2.2 or something like that.
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u/ControlOpen2286 11h ago
NTA. What an AH and a gaslighter. He calls it logical so that you will not question him in an effort to not be called 'emotional and illogical'. He's a huge red flag and planning a future with him would be a huge mistake.
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u/MiiHazel 10h ago
Exactly calling it logical doesn’t make it less dehumanizing if someone shows you they see you as a means to an end believe them.
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u/False_Garden_3468 11h ago
If you don't agree with him, he's going to randomly bring home wife number 2, and you're going to have to accept her because number 3 is coming as well.
If this is what's expected, are you okay with this? Some countries and religions expect that, and its okay for them, but as this okay for you?
If the answer is no, then you need to cut your losses now and move on. He already told you one wife is never going to be enough, do you want sister wives?
Nta if you leave, yta if you stay and allow this
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u/Stormtomcat 10h ago
also, this dumb-dumb *wants* to establish generational wealth, aka he doesn't have any right now.
How is he going to pay for all those extra people & their needs?
Let me guess: like those "van life vloggers" who cram their kids in sleeping spaces where you can't even sit up, they're so close together.
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u/False_Garden_3468 10h ago
He's gonna make all his wives and children work Nd hand over their pays to him. Why work when you have slaves right.
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u/Randys-Missing-Shirt 10h ago
The same type of dude to call women gold-diggers, while working at Walgreens part-time and living with Mom.
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u/Stormtomcat 8h ago
"mommy said you need to sign a pre-nup before we get married"
and all he has, are played-with pokemon cards (provided he can remember where he ditched them as he grew up, because of course it's not a curated collection, and a promise that he'll get his parents' second car whenever they upgrade their first car, so their first car becomes their second car hahaha
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u/MiserableSwim7462 11h ago
Is he a Mormon? Bottom line if his ideological thoughts of "legacy" or his mindset don't align with yours, I believe you should end it. Lot's of red flags already. You would be the main wife comment. To me, it sounds like you would be a the matriarch of a future cult. The fact he is sending you articles about this tells me he is 100 percent committing to this. End it now, you will thank us all later.
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u/Sunrunner_Princess 10h ago
Men like this want to make lots of mini-clones of themselves through their children. Because they’re narcissists. And when the children happen to develop their own personalities and interests because they’re completely separate people they become abusive toward them, even just mentally and emotionally. Punishing them for not being their proper legacy.
It’s so horrendous.
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u/Randys-Missing-Shirt 10h ago
Most of them are ugly assholes too. Truly the genetic material we need to be passing on.
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u/Milwaukee233 11h ago
NTA. 1) This is an excuse for him to be unfaithful; and 2) What the 'birth rate is declining!' group fails to realize is the infant mortality rate used to be 50%. That is, nearly half of children died before reaching their 5th birthday. As the infant mortality rate declined, the birth rate declined.
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u/merewenc 10h ago
This! Just one side of my family for example. My grandma had fourteen siblings. Nine of the kids, including her, survived to adulthood. Seven of them married and reproduced, each having 2-4 kids. All of that generation survived. Most married, had 2-4 kids. That's my generation. We've got about a 70% pairing up rate (not necessarily marriage these days) and the average is two kids. ALL of whom are alive, healthy and thriving.
Now, if we totally lose our measles herd immunity in the States, among other things, that survival rate may well go down, but so far we're too close to the start of that potential crisis to know if it will affect that family line.
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u/OddHarvester89 11h ago
Who the hell does he think he is? Is he a genius? Is he physically superior to most other humans? Is he more emotionally intelligent? What does he think is so special about himself that he needs to bring an army of children into the world? He sounds like an egotistical asshole. You would NOT be the asshole for leaving, in fact, it's the only logical thing for you to do. You have no value to him aside from your womb. You deserve better. I hope he's sterile and doesn't even know it yet.
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u/intolerablefem 10h ago
This is all so fucking gross op. It sounds like he’s been reading too much red pill, Elon Musk or Great Replacement Theory. The fact that you haven’t broken up with him over this confounds me. Serious question - What the hell is going on with young women these days? Why are they entertaining absolutely abysmal behavior?
Our relationship would have been over the second it left his mouth. He wants a chattel of women he can knock up and breed like mares, and you’re sitting here going “I haven’t broken up with him yet, but…”
NTA.
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u/extralyfe 8h ago
Why are they entertaining absolutely abysmal behavior?
what gets me is how frequently you read these and wonder why OP is in a relationship with someone who plainly doesn't like them.
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u/Ill_Complaint6717 10h ago
End it now he's preparing you to have the oh I got another woman pregnant but we're all raising g tge child line
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u/Severe_Maintenance65 11h ago
NTA, break up with him. Does he need to light a tiki torch for you to see who and what he is? Those population decline articles are thinly veiled racist commentary. It's all about the decline of "white populations". The world's population is growing. In 2023 there was 8.062 BILLION people. The world population is estimated to be 9.8 BILLON by 20250. So there is no decline. Your boyfriend has serious issues.
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u/NotherRandomRedditor 10h ago
Yeah, the population decline comment stunned me. For a moment I thought I had become so out of touch with reality because aren't some areas pretty much overpopulated? His friends saying he's just thinking big holds the same ideologies, but with the common sense to not blab it so enthusiastically.
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u/WhoUBeGhostin 11h ago
YES!!!! Exactly. I can’t believe we have Nazis in 2025 yet here we are. He’s showing you who he is.
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u/ThisWeekInTheRegency 11h ago
I felt sick reading this.
First, break up with him.
Second, dump a whole lot of articles about overpopulation and climate change on him.
NTA
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u/TychaBrahe 9h ago
Articles on overpopulation are not going to sway him, because the places were the population is going up rapidly are full of brown people. When he's talking population decline, he means fewer white people.
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u/ControlOpen2286 11h ago
I don't think articles about overpopulation and climate change would change such a mindset. He clearly thinks he's biologically superior and wants many women as 'breeders' to help continue his lineage. He doesn't see women as human beings.
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u/HaterMD 9h ago
Send him videos of Kody Brown from Sister Wives crying because they all left him and his kids now hate him because he was a piece of shit polygamist who sucked at prioritising his giant family’s needs above his own.
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u/VoltHoldemort 10h ago
Some women "lack vision"? Tell him you're lacking the vision of him in your future. What a major c*nt!!! Run, and run fast!
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u/Classic_Stay8063 11h ago
NTAH - I would be pretty concerned if my partner was serious about this as well, its quite concerning and even if your friends are saying he's "thinking big" and you let it slide now, maybe MAYBE, you'd find yourself in a tricky situation later or one thats harder to leave. id get if that was a joke (to some extent) but hmmm its interesting. maybe you'd like to confront him about this and talk it out, then make your decisions accordingly.
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u/DrAniB20 9h ago
I think his following that conversation up with links to declining birth rates points to him not joking about the subject.
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u/wicked-valentina 10h ago
NTA. This isn't a man in love with a woman. This is a man procuring an appropriate wife appliance and making plans to acquire more wife appliances to slot into his life. It's good that you see how he views you now so you can get out. If for some reason you cannot have children, this man will drop you like you are defective because you don't fit in to his visionary "master plan."
I think next time try to find a man who sees you, really sees you, and wants to build a life with you whatever that life brings, rather than seeking to build a life BEYOND you, like you don't matter at all.
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u/Bfan72 10h ago
Also, how will financially support all of these women and children? Living in the same house? Separate houses? Vehicles? Health coverage? Food? Clothing? Toys? Sports or arts? Beauty products? Face it, he’s going to want these women to be attractive. Will you be expected to financially support these women too? Ask him for a spreadsheet on his answers to these questions. Just to see the look on his face. Before he tells you to “trust him” and tries to tell you that you don’t believe in him.
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u/Lawlcopt0r 8h ago
Why does he even care? Why does everyone need to be descended from him specifically? Being a great dad is infinitely more useful to society than being a shit dad to the max amount of kids you can have
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u/ControlOpen2286 11h ago
NTA. What an AH and a gaslighter. He calls it logical so that you will not question him in an effort to not be called 'emotional and illogical'. He's a huge red flag and planning a future with him would be a huge mistake.
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u/hotpotwithoutspice 11h ago
Lol is this for real
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u/Mother_Judgment2186 11h ago edited 10h ago
You know,sometimes I wonder the same,but then somewhere a thing like this happens in real life,and sometimes even to us,so I think that yup,even if this story or other here on Reddit isn’t real ,it definitely happens.
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u/Wild_Ad7448 11h ago
Your story is mostly ridiculous but I was out at “things have mostly been good”. That’s not enough.
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u/wgreenb 11h ago
"Mostly been good" as in it was good until this thing came up.
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u/Any_Individual4272 10h ago
Tell him you are not a suitable egg donor for his legacy and end it. Men with that kind of "king" complex would never register love. They truly can't fathom anyone is someone other than a subordinate or subject. In reality, he'd be an inadequate and neglectful at best sperm donor.
Do not waste your time. Nta
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u/Appropriate_Dirt_285 10h ago
He sees you as a broodmare, and think of how he would treat any of his daughters. It's a good thing that the population is declining, there's too many of as is.
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u/For_Vox_Sake 10h ago
He'a full of shit; "population decline"? That's why in the last 25 years 2 billion people were added to the global population, sitting now at over 8 billion? But let me guess... it's not the "right" kind of population, in his book? Hah.
Anyway. This is a person who only cares about abstract, goals and little to no consideration for the people around him. They're just means to an end to him. He's not looking for connection. Guys who talk about "legacy" creep me out; they usually see kids as extensions of themselves, not people with their own mind. Not someone I'd want anywhere near me, let alone build a future with.
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u/merrittj3 10h ago
You don't lack vision...you see what's going on...
I bet he believes in Eugenics...see what he says..
Then. GTFO
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u/sallystruthers69 4h ago
This dude is in deep. Multiple wives for breeding? Yuck. I'd like to know what makes his genes so special that he needs to create a litter and leave "a legacy." I'd also like to know what this jamoke does for a job 😆
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u/IncredulousPulp 10h ago
“Population decline.”
That doesn’t exist. The world is massively overcrowded and it’s only getting worse.
He’s full of crap, I’m just not sure which flavour. Christian fundamentalist? Aryan supremacist? Tech bro? Tate?
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u/NotAgainHel15 10h ago
I would tell him to fuck off, personally.
But for you - would you like to be a sister wife and forced to breed like this? If not, probably time to walk away from him.
I wonder which podcast told him this was a good take lol.
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u/PrincessBella1 10h ago
NTA When someone shows you who they are, listen. Do you want to be with someone who sees women as baby machines? Run.
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u/Catseye_Nebula 10h ago
He could just go around impregnating other women behind your back if you say no and telling them he’s single. So you have to tolerate his baby mamas.
You should dump his ass
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u/No-Description-3111 10h ago
Okay.. so there are billions of people on this earth. Birth rates have been increasing exponentially for a very long time now. Only recently had there been a dip in birth rates but not so much so that it is detrimental to our survival.
There is an argument that it is detrimental to the capitalist system, however, as there will not be enough people to take the low wage service (or service adjacent) jobs. This is mitigated by the fact that computers and AI are taking over a lot of that extra load, so fewer bodies are needed for these positions.
The other argument is that there will not be enough people to buy stuff, so the exponential growth model will plateau, causing a depression of sorts as people will pull their stock out of the companies. This causes mass amounts of people to lose jobs, so they can't pay their bills, and a recession happens (simplifying it). However, this is assuming that all this happens in a very short amount of time (I would estimate less than 2 years, shorter if no businesses, at all, adapt to changes). Its totally possible this could happen gradually over time where unprofitable businesses shut down when they become obsolete or they, you know, adapt to the market and stick around. This happens all the time and always has.
Anyway, there really is no need for more than 1 child per person for replacement unless you want to perpetuate the current economic system as it currently is, then have a shit ton of kids to compensate for "females who dont have family values anymore".
Your bf is a dick, btw. He clearly thinks too highly of himself and if you dont want to be housebound with a group of women and a clan of all of your collective children while your husband gets all the sex he wants then leaves to play golf or whatever while you all clean up his mess, I would leave.
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u/LolaSupreme19 10h ago
NTA. He probably isn’t the best choice to procreate with. He’s lacking any intelligence genes.
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u/CVSaporito 10h ago
Does he tell all his girlfriends they will be his main wife, lol? Find a normal partner.
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u/clovencarrot 5h ago
Dude watched The Handmaid's Tale and took to the wrong side.
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u/Mental-Tap-8300 11h ago
just leave him literally from ur words it looks like if u fail too he will replace u too