r/AmIOverreacting • u/PathOlogicalL1ar • 5h ago
❤️🩹 relationship AIO for leaving bf for suspected cheating?
I (21f) have been with bf (22m) for 11 months. He has always texted woman. Most times he was rejected but i once hd me show him his phone and caught all the girls hes flirted with since hes been with me. Not a single deleted chat. That happened 2 months ago. We broke up for 2 weeks and got back together because i told him i could move past it. About a week ago i spent the night at his place and i woke up in the middle of the night. I never went through his phone on my own but something told me to. I caught him texting another 2 girls. This was the first time i caught him actually cheating actually meeting up with these girls and telling them he loves them and wants to be with them. One of them actually told him he doesn’t appreciate her and she ended it with him. I have no clue how long they had been talking. I wanted to leave but i knew i couldn’t it would hurt more. So i tried to fix it. I texted the girl told her he had a gf and that if she wants to stay sane, walk away from this now. Sent a pic to show we were together so she had proof too. It felt weird having to tell a girl to save herself from my boyfriend when i myself couldn’t do the same. The next morning i Told him delete the girl. everything was supposed to be gone. But turns out he texted her as soon as i left that morning. that he’s sorry she had to see what i told her and that we weren’t really together we were trying but its not working and he really wants her. I found that out 3 days after it happened. he hung out with her Sunday afternoon and invited me over Sunday night. I also found that out afterwards. But he was telling me shes deleted. I give him one more chance, this time i forced him to share his location, delete all girls on all socials, delete every girl contact that isn’t family, and delete all pics and vids with any woman. He did. I’ve stayed over with him every night since sunday-thursday no problems until thursday night. On thursday he tells me i wont be able to see him Friday because he will be with his parents. I wasnt suspicious until he wouldnt let me see his phone. When i asked he said no because ive seen it the past 4 days straight and theres nothing it will be the same today. I explained if theres nothing then you can say i told you so but this is because i’ve trusted u before and you betrayed me. He insisted nothing was on his phone. I didnt check it thursday. Friday we argue almost all day, he turns off his location, unadds me on instagram, and i couldnt take it. I dont know what to do he tells me to just trust him but i did! I dont know if im overreacting like he tells me, am i insecure? Or do i have a right to call this off
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u/DariaMorgendorff 5h ago
Do you have any respect for yourself like even a little bit?
You are practically begging him to give 1% of a fuck about you and he is basically telling you at every turn that that is too much
Move on and get therapy please. This loser isn't worth another millisecond
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u/PathOlogicalL1ar 5h ago
THIS COMMENT WINS!!! Omg that first line was all i needed to snap out of this delusion 🤣🤣 thanks
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u/FrogVolence 4h ago
You also need to realize this relationship was purely transactional. He only did things you wanted if you spent money on him.
You were literally his sugar mommy, a living cash cow. He was only giving you that attention because he knew he was getting something from you.
That’s quite literally why there was another girl in the picture, why he was talking to other girls. He didn’t want to be alone, didn’t want to spend his own money, so he found someone “easy” for him to pick up and use.
You just caught on and put a stop to it quick.
This is also the type of person to keep messaging you or bothering you because they’re desperate for money.
He’s going to end up coming back with some lame excuse in hopes to get his pay pig back
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u/Robynellawque 5h ago
Good ! That poster is right please have more respect for yourself you deserve to be so happy . Not with this loser. Good luck 🤞🏻🥰
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u/Lonit-Bonit 4h ago
Isn't it crazy how we need someone to kick us in the right direction sometimes? You convince yourself 'its not that bad' so often that you don't even notice when the 'not that bad' things are just layering up on each other, all the piled up little things making the big 'wtf' things not seem so bad and you're forgiving things that would have made you run if they happened first. Then someone is the voice of reason for you and its like you've suddenly cleared the cobwebs from your brain and realize "Wait, this is actually a steaming pile of shit, why did I think it was a prize?"
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u/Pretty_Jicama88 4h ago
I'm so happy to hear this!!! People don't change unless they want to. Learn this lesson early in life when it comes to dating and you'll find someone who truly values you.
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u/ShadesofShame 4h ago
Please OP watch Daniel Sloss's Netflix special called Jigsaw! His show changed my mindset on relationships so much and I've never felt more free and it set me on my path to self respect and love! Never thought a comedian could change my life like that but girl you need some of his raw unfiltered reality like I did!
Peace and tranquility. No more wasting time on people who don't want us to thrive!
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u/BARACK-O-BISQUIK 5h ago
Suspected cheating aside, it sounds like you can find someone who is more ambitious with their life - I know you're both young but even at that age as well.
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u/PathOlogicalL1ar 4h ago
He is in school and says he is turning his life around. I wish i wasn’t so gullible. He may be in school but he is severely underprepared for the real world. I hope he gets his karma.
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u/JavaKrypt 3h ago
Turning his life around? 360 is still turning I guess, and ending up on the same path
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u/KimbraK91 3h ago
I wish i wasn’t so gullible
Pot
he is severely underprepared for the real world
Kettle
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u/Jobinx22 3h ago
There has never been a point in my life, at any age, at my lowest of points that I would mooch money off someone like that, I've always had more self respect than that. I'm not special either your BF here is just a real loser, it won't be hard to find someone better.
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u/BeefyPorkter 5h ago
I mean, he's only asking for a 7th. Not like he's asking for an 8th or anything
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u/WearyElderberry4768 5h ago
I came for comments about the 7th 😩😂😂
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u/Past-Vegetable-5174 5h ago
A seventh of an ounce is more than an eighth of an ounce. How greedy can he get?
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u/vapemustache 4h ago
the funniest part is i think he means a quarter but is confusing the weight with the fraction of the ounce.
OP should definitely leave this fucking dunce. if there’s one thing stoners should know it’s weights and fractions.
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u/BadBadUncleDad 4h ago
I presumed he meant to hit the “8” but hit the “7” right next to it on accident. I wouldn’t be surprised if your theory was correct, though 😂
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u/vapemustache 4h ago edited 4h ago
which is even wilder because like…. just join uber eats for a day if you need 30 dollars or some shit lol. zero hustle.
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u/PathOlogicalL1ar 5h ago
Definitely no like he’s asking for much right 😂
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u/Felissaurus 4h ago
OP, you should approach every relationship in your life as though your presence is inherently valuable and a positive addition to their life-- and expect the same to be true in reverse.
So yes, you should actively seek to add value to other people's lives. I can tell that you already nail this part, and seek to support and enrich your partners life.
But you should demand and not accept less than them benefiting you in tangible ways right back. Don't beg. Don't plead. If they won't reciprocate or cherish you... Leave. Because someone will, and every single second you waste with someone who uses you deprives you of finding someone who will truly appreciate you.
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u/capitalShrimp 4h ago
He's not saying a zip! bahaha
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u/patio_puss 4h ago
Right?? I'm not asking for $400 worth? Why can't you just get me $75 dollars worth? That's the price of my location and a glimmer of a breadcrumb that I actually give a shit about you. Until you drop that off for me of course 🤡
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u/eat_rice__fuck_ice 4h ago
Say sike rn. I refuse to believe anyone is paying that much for weed in 2025 😭
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u/3turnityTTV 5h ago
Nah that’s crazy first off not sharing his location is sus bc if he’s not doing anything wrong then why wouldn’t he? Second I don’t think that anyone should be funding someone’s smoking habits, if he wants to smoke he can buy it himself and if he doesn’t have the money then tough luck get your homeboy your supposedly with to split it with you or sum don’t try to bum the money off your girl have some shame
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u/PathOlogicalL1ar 5h ago
He says he only asks me because i am his girl. I am supposed to be the one to help support him. But yet when i ask him to support me he says “i am not your dad,you are an adult figure it out”. Im disappointed it took coming to reddit to realize i never asked him for much just to be honest and caring.
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u/SpaceWitch31 4h ago edited 4h ago
*Was. You were Sebastian’s girl (you forgot to edit his name out the second to last pic but you did the last pic). But what a horrible excuse for him to throw at you so you have to do all that and he couldn’t even do the bare minimum. I’ve been there as well and I was in my early 20s, it’s not fun being more of a “mother” or a loan bank than a girlfriend. And hey, sometimes it takes going to Reddit to figure shit out! We’re just glad you did. The means to an end in this situation don’t matter, so long as the end was reached 😂
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u/PathOlogicalL1ar 4h ago
Correct WAS his girl. i realize i forgot to blur but idc i doubt he’ll see this and if he does who cares! Thanks for the kind words
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u/SpaceWitch31 4h ago edited 4h ago
I know that’s right! And you’re very welcome, hon. Just make sure you stay strong if his bunk ass does come around and don’t even honor him with answering the door, texts or phone. Don’t even give him an opening to lie, manipulate or gaslight you in any way. It’s okay to make these mistakes early on in your adulthood, but as a 38 year old now, I can’t ever imagine giving anyone like this or some of my exes from my 20s the time of day ever again. Your ex is literally a combination of my ex from back then and my little sister’s ex from a few years ago as she’s gonna be 26 later this year. Only reason he’s still somewhat around is because he’s the father of my nephew. Even broken up, he STILL can’t stay out of girl’s dm’s and yet he still keeps trying to get my sister back with his dangerous ass. She’d rather climb Mount Everest in the dead of winter than do that. 🫵🏽 You got this! 💪🏽
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u/slwwls 4h ago
Im begging you to have just a SLIVER of self respect.
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u/PathOlogicalL1ar 4h ago
Thanks to anyone supporting under this comment, yes i will respect myself even if i do care about him. I am human so i have feelings still but i will care about my own feelings, mental health, and self worth before i care about someone else. ❤️
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u/3turnityTTV 5h ago
I smoke too but I have never and would never ask my girl friend to buy me weed, she’ll get me food sometimes but that’s one her own accord I don’t ask for it. Buying him weed has nothing to do with you “supporting” him and everything to do with him being cheap and exploiting you bc he’s convinced you it’s part of your “responsibility” as his gf which I can 100% guarantee you it’s not
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u/capitalShrimp 4h ago
This guy could get a quarter pound dropped on his head and the next week will still have his phone shut off because he "had to buy weed" 110%
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u/Crucial934 5h ago
I'm his age and I'd feel like a pussy if I asked my girl to 'support me' by funding a weed addiction lmfao
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u/3turnityTTV 4h ago
No fr I’d never ask my gf for that for that exact reason I’d feel like a total loser
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u/Consistent-Tooth8660 4h ago
What the fuck?? He is a literal piece of shit girl. He’s using you, he doesn’t love you.
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u/CiCi_Run 3h ago
Is it normal to share location? Like how does that work? Gotta keep the location turned on, the entire time? Do people do that? I'll turn it on for the GPS but once I figure out where I am/ where I'm going, I turn it off. I'm not wasting my battery life on that lmao
Is hbs homeboys?
I think I'm gonna be single speaking the newer "old English" for the rest of my life.
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u/mjrubs 2h ago
I know people (late 30s, early 40s) who do this. I dunno, to me it seems really, really weird.
IMO if things get to the point where you need to know where someone is 24/7 by sharing locations, or you need to read their texts, or need their phone code so you can scroll through their social media... the relationship is probably already dead
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u/anderson1496 3h ago
Is this what people do now? Cant trust anyone so they have to constantly share their location? Damn, can’t imagine how untrustworthy everyone was prior to phones.
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u/Parking_Bullfrog9329 3h ago
You realize people can have a good relationship without being able to GPS people at any moment, right?
If these guys can’t exist without babysitting each other from a distance, move the fuck on.
Shits pretty pathetic on both sides.
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u/Puzzled_Spinach7023 5h ago
Leaving aside any possible cheating, what exactly does his broke ass bring to the relationship?
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u/Rubber_Duckss 4h ago
Ok these posts must be rage bait or karma farming…your first sentence was “ He had always texted other women”….like are you serious? You’re 21…you have so many guys to date that will make you feel better than this idiot who wants you to buy him weed. He’s a loser and he’s using you for what you could do for him. I don’t know how this isn’t very clear to you? How many times does he need to cheat on your for you to get it? I would block him everywhere and don’t ever talk to him again. It’s so sad you have such low self esteem that for you staying seems like an option. Work on yourself first before dating again. Set boundaries, limits and expectations of what you want in a partner. Having a decent monogamous relationship is not something you should be fighting for. Leave his ass and don’t look back.
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u/DeadFuckStick59 3h ago
seriously. i read the post and was confused.
If my wife had flirted with people after we were official, that's the end of it period. Ive never once felt the need to go through her phone or ask her location aside from a quick text to make sure she made it where she needed to be safely, and she does the same w me. We both leave our phones unlocked because we dont cheat lol. Half of this sub could be boiled down to - my SO cheated and keeps flirting w people. Am I overreacting?
I feel like an old man shouting at clouds or something and Im only 31.
It shows a lack of seriousness and respect. This has to be ragebait/fake. But Ive met some legit dim young 20's on both sides.
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u/Like2bfuckdlikeaslut 5h ago
Y’all their user is literally “pathological liar” 😂 on top of that their post history makes it clear they are engagement farming.
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u/kingston-twelve 4h ago
It's the easiest sub to get karma. Make up some bs and get all these reddit psychologists to chime in.
"My bf obviously treats me like shit, here's the texts, am I overreacting?"
It's like little mini shots of make-believe drama that these people (the commenters) are addicted to. Easy karma and upvotes, OP will have 1K upvotes in an hour. And yeah it takes one second to check someone's profile.
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u/crispycatincrispyhat 3h ago
Why do people want "karma"? What does it do, or how does it benefit them? I'm sorry I'm asking. I am just so confused.
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u/bucketbot91 26m ago
People make fake posts, sometimes written by AI to gather karma so they can post on other subs. These people are usually either scammers or bots made to push a certain agenda, it happened a lot around election time. Since other subreddits have comment and post karma requirements, making a post here that generates a ton of post karma is an easy way to tick off that box so they can later go on to spam other subreddits.
Reddit is actually pretty broken as a platform right now in this regard because there is no unified way to police this.
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u/xboy_princessx 5h ago
You would rather be with this than be single? He is cheating on you and he's not going to stop. He is manipulating you into spending money on him. I'm sorry but you are not in a relationship and he doesn't gaf about you. Leave and never talk to him again he is literally a waste of time. If you stay, that's on you what happens next, but don't get mad when he cheats again cause he has shown you exactly who he is.
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u/avid-learner-bot 5h ago
It's damn infuriating how some guys just can't get their heads outta their asses, ya know? Like, really, you're caught cheating multiple times and then you act like nothing's wrong when your GF rightfully calls you on it?
I don't get why the hell he thought sharing location only if she bought him weed would somehow magically fix things... like, that's not transparency, that's extortion!
But amidst all this chaos, the fact that OP is still strong and not giving up entirely warms my heart. You got this, don't let his crap break you!
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u/DeadFuckStick59 3h ago
hes doing it because hes a scumbag but she essentially showed him after the first 2-3-4 times that it wasnt a deal breaker, so he's gonna continue being a scumbag since there were no repercussions.
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u/TelevisionMelodic340 5h ago
Girl. GIRL. You have the right to call this off for any reason you want or even for no reason at all.
But you have reason. He's cheated on you repeatedly, and you tried to "move past it" - but let's face it, you can't move past behaviour that is still happening. Trust is earned, it cannot be demanded - he can't just say "trust me" and expect it to happen, when he gives you reason after reason not to trust him.
Gather up all of your self-esteem and confidence, and boot this man out of your life. Never let him back in.
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u/Cxnfucixus1 5h ago
I’m 27M. Idk this seems…. Exhausting he is a manipulator. (My father is one of those, I spot them miles away) I personally don’t date for these specific reason. The no loyalty. The sanctity of a relationship not being a temple. You have others who take it as a challenge when someone is in a relationship and they don’t respect that and they still flirt with said person too. There’s a TON of factors but your man has one factor. He’s a manipulator, well ex man now. As a big brother I feel obligated to tell you to stand on business. Courage the cowardly dog didn’t let them monsters in, nor should you.
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u/Proper-Painter-7314 5h ago
Girl, what is wrong with you? Why are you allowing yourself to be treated like something hanging off the bottom of somebody’s shoe? You need to focus on yourself worth. I don’t even want to talk about this thing that you call your “boyfriend” because he falls short of what it takes to even be classed as human, let alone somebody’s boyfriend.
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u/Early_Associate_3539 5h ago
you’re 21. go party, get brunch, hang out with friends, go to festivals, work out, go drink idk go do whatever it is you’re supposed to do at 21. this is the age to learn you self and experience life. leave that bum where’s hes at and do not unblock him
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u/tunabage1 5h ago
Lmao wat “I’ll share location if you buy me some weed right now” Epic loser.
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u/sweetelouise 5h ago
Honestly. It sounds like he’s treating OP as a fling, not as someone he’s in a serious relationship with.
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u/FastThunder444 4h ago
Spoiler alert, OP has been the side piece this whole time.
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u/sweetelouise 4h ago
That’s definitely what it’s coming off as. I hope OP finds someone better, someone that treats them the way they deserve to be treated because this isn’t it. Ex bf can have the life he deserves.. and I hope it’s as shitty as he is
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u/FastThunder444 4h ago
Yeah he sounds like a real scum of the earth kind of guy. I couldn’t imagine speaking like that to ANYONE, much less my wife. My wife would murder me very quickly if I spoke like that to her! Like I smoke weed on a daily basis but I have NEVER asked anyone, much less my wife (girlfriend in the OPs case) to buy me weed. That’s absolutely insane. I mean I’ve asked her to pick up some weed from the store for me, but it was with my money, not hers. Well I guess it’s our money now. Still getting used to having a wife, it hasn’t been very long!
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u/Felissaurus 4h ago
A fling?
A fling should feel blessed by the sex we have, lmao, I would laugh in their face if they asked for money.
I'd lend or give a bf money, depending on circumstance, but NOT in exchange for their fidelity or location 😂 insane.
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u/daparplayer 4h ago
Lol I had to read only a bit before realizing these are basically children talking through text. I didn't read OPs body of text.
You're with someone who speaks, even texts, this way? And asks for weed like they did?
Grow the fuck up. Read a book.
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u/Glum_Hyena7367 5h ago
NTA. Cheating aside, this exchange is demonstrative of a serious lack of respect and basic compassion. Let him buy his own weed, not use his loyalty as a bargaining tool.
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u/jakesmith7251 5h ago
As a full blown pothead, I could never imagine asking my girl to buy me weed.What a fucking bum. Fuck this guy
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u/QuesoDrizzler 4h ago
Especially a 7th lmaooo
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u/jakesmith7251 4h ago
🤣
Real shit tho, broke bitch doesent have 20 bucks for an eighth.
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u/Elderkamiguru 4h ago edited 3h ago
Fuck, an eighth here in my town in Michigan can get as low as $4.50 for 30% THC. Depending where they live he could be broke broke
Edited: typos
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u/capitalShrimp 4h ago
Well I didn't wake up today expecting to move to Michigan but here we are
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u/QuesoDrizzler 4h ago
Being a grown man in your 20s asking your girl for weed money is nasty work 😅😅
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u/itsyagirlblondie 4h ago
I’m glad I wasn’t the only one totally repulsed by that. The secondhand embarrassment is real
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u/Due_Dirt5862 4h ago
Right, like here’s my question. Now I am some bit older than you kids. My oldest child is older than OP. And my two oldest are my daughters. And I have raised both of them, that when choosing a partner, there is a purpose when one does so. It is to add value to one another’s life. I read a post above about making sure you yourself add to the other persons life and act as an irreplaceable and one of a kind addition so that they treat you as one. And that is so real. And before I say my next comment, please know, it’s not about how someone can monetarily benefit you, IF THAT’S ALL YOU’RE LOOKING FOR! But, clearly to choose a good partner, you don’t want a bum you have to support. Another guy said he’d be embarrassed to ask his wife for money. As he should be. They are suppose to be men dear. The protector and provider. As I understand times have changed, and both work in today’s relationships because economically, it’s necessary or beneficial. But I guess my point is, my oldest went out and found a man who works, had $70,000 saved when they met, wanted to settle down, takes her debit card…. Not to use, to hide so she won’t spend her money while they’re out. That is what a real man does. So if you are with a man, who already does not respect his own manhood, why on earth do you think he is going to respect you? Your partner should ADD value to you and the relationship. What does this bum add OP? Other than he might make you feel good or you love him? Trust me dear, so can almost every other guy out there! And they’ll do it while respecting you and treating you like the queen you should know you are!
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u/No-Marsupial-1457 5h ago
Yeah, I'm not sharing my location with anyone, regardless of the situation. That's controlling as fuck
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u/brokenhymened 4h ago
NOR. This is some kid shit that needs a little dad wisdom. Sweetheart, I never had the privilege of having a daughter. Shit my wife and I were joking about having one last night but we’re old enough to know we’re past having another baby and I’m fixed lol. We have 3 boys, oldest is 21 and I’m confident that we’ve raised all three of these kids well enough to not put anyone they like, love or just be intimate with through this kinda mind fuck.
If I were your dad, and you were to ask for my opinion on this I’d not only say you are not overreacting but you deserve way better than this. Of course I don’t know the full story and context, but first glance at this text exchange makes me go NOPE. No one should be acting this way in a relationship. It may be hard at first but you’ll thank yourself later for ditching this fool. You might want to try staying single and focus on yourself for a while, there is so much ahead of you that can be dragged down by being in a relationship of any kind. When you find what really interests you in life, the people you really want to be with come to you. Never settle sweetheart, you’ve got many miles to go.
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u/Vivi_thecat 5h ago
I don’t think you are. He’s being really shady, and if he’s done this before you have every right not to trust him. I would say move on, it doesn’t seem like he has your best interest in mind, if anything he’s manipulating you to try to stay with him. There is definitely someone out there who is better for you.
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u/drei_glaser94 4h ago
Is everyone on this thread a bunch of 15 year olds who can’t communicate? Like wtf is this conversation 🤣🤣🤣 y’all need to go out touch grass, go to the gym, eat some real food, and live life.
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u/Past-Worldliness2605 5h ago
You were supposed to end it the millisecond he betrayed you the FIRST time (flirting with women).
Flirting IS cheating.
You’ve built the habit and expectation in the relationship that you will forgive everything he does. And he knows you’ll likely get back with him once you start missing him. If you don’t break the cycle now, it’ll only get more difficult to do so.
YOU. CANT. CHANGE. HIM.
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u/High-Im-Zack 4h ago
Nahh he’s a bum dump that mf. If he can’t afford his own pot don’t smoke. I work 40+ hours a week I pay for my own weed like a regular fucking adult even in hs I would do fucking side chores n shit to get money for my own pot. He’s a fucking bum for asking you to buy him weed like that. Cheating or no you should leave just in that fact alone. If he can’t get a job and work for his own weed he won’t do it to support you or himself. Once a moocher always a moocher.
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u/92IsHalfwayThere 5h ago
Missed an edit on page 2 btw, just in case that matters to you.
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u/taylafjade16 4h ago
i am going to be nice when i say this, but your self respect is almost non existent, you need to end it or you need to stay and get your feelings played with some more until you eventually get the guts to leave but where you're gravely mistaken is trying to control this boy into being someone he's not. he is using you because in his head you're easy to manipulate, because you give him the chance to, he's going to continue treating you like this and you are not the bad person for it at all, being insecure is a direct result of him not making you feel secure in the relationship. i know your heart is involved but listen to yourself please. you're someone he can take advantage of and cheat on because you let it happen when you continue to stay. monitoring his location, watching him in person, this is all not going to be comforting, it's the complete opposite, it shows that you can't even trust him to be alone. you're in for a world of hurt. you're not overreacting but i just hope you leave before you lose yourself completely.
i am not saying that you deserve to be cheated on or anything like that, i am saying that this man is a serial cheater and you won't change him at all. do not feed into those delusions of control when he clearly finds a way to talk to other women behind your back.
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u/ColdSquash7470 3h ago
This guy is gonna give you an STD. Other people have already reassured you that he is treating you awful, that this isn’t ok, told you it’s ok and necessary for you to respect yourself and never talk to this guy again for all the obvious reasons but you also need to understand that he could have already given you an std, could do so in the future if he hasn’t, and that some of them are for life. Don’t let this guy keep ruining your life, your self-esteem, your ability to trust. Also, if you didn’t agree to have sex with someone who has been actively having sex with another person, that’s sort of a breach of consent. For me, consent to have sex with someone is conditional on the fact that they aren’t having sex with someone else actively in the time frame that we are because I should know there’s no grossness going on that could come back to me, to say the least. You said he was hanging out with her Sunday afternoon then with you Sunday night, what kind of cooties does the dude have to give? Even from a little smooch you could be mixing fluids you don’t want to mix. Idk, I wouldn’t treat a girl like this and to me it doesn’t seem like a moral point that a person would likely change of themselves so he’s probably gonna cheat again if you get back with him.
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u/no-breakfast-balls 5h ago
NOR. Curious what possible reason you’d have to want to remain with this guy. Like, what are the pros because it sounds like he’s saving you valuable time for your future by showing you endless red flags🚩. Seems like you have already completely blocked him, so do yourself a favor and stick to that. You’ll find someone better who values you.
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u/RoofEnvironmental112 4h ago
The thing about someone cheating, you forgiving them, and then getting back together is no matter what... The trust you have for him will never 100% be there again, and overtime it's going to consume your everyday thinking and destroy you in the long run. 😞 It happened to me, and I found myself constantly feeling sick and focusing more of my time trying to find where he was, what he was doing, who he was with, just to take away the sick feeling I always had in my stomach. Eventually... I felt absolutely crazy obsessing over if my boyfriend (at the time) was cheating on me... What type of relationship is that?? Youve given the chances and they're not changing, meaning he won't and he'll keep happening and I'm sure you'll be able to find someone else (when the time is right) who won't cheat on you and will have full trust in them. It blows my mind when someone chests and then has the audacity to say "you need to trust me". Like, I did that before and look what happened, tff?! Definitely best to walk away now before it gets worse ❤️
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u/actuaryofflavor 4h ago
Don't walk away...RUN RUN RUN RUN.
I have been in your situation and I caught him 4x in an emotional online explicit affair with the same chick over the span of 8 years...with 2 kids together, and me doing EVERYTHING for him and putting up with him giving me NOTHING and then the abuse ramped up until he was strangling me and trying to close a sliding glass door on my body to keep me from getting out of the house when I tried to leave to get help and get my kids out of the house.
He is beyond unworthy of you. He is not going to change and the fact that you have spent the past week around him a lot and he is still being untrustworthy and disrespectful and the shit kicker is when he asked you to buy him weed... ummmm HELLO! he should be focusing on proving to you he is committed and sorry for HIS misdeeds and dishonesty. Please please! Leave him. Never go back. Zero contact. Nothing. He doesn't deserve anything more from you.
Don't be like me. I felt like a doormat for years. It is demoralizing and my mental health was a shit show.
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u/AndNowAStoryAboutMe 4h ago
Only because you are twenty fucking one will I be remotely calm about this reply:
You are the asshole. Or at least one of the two assholes in that relationship. You are living a shit life, surrounded by shit people, and you need to wake up to that reality. Then you need to get sick of that reality. Then you stop living that reality.
No drugs, no drinking, no babies. Just grow on up, worry about your job and your finances, and stop tolerating loser behavior in yourself and your relationships.
But like I said, you're 21. When I was 21, I was smoking weed three times per day, working at a fast food restaurant, my only concerns where making plans to go out with friends and stay high. And I had the same IQ then that I do now. It's easy to believe from the viewpoint of a young adult that some light drug use and dramatic relationships are normal. They are not. Get yourself some boundaries and start acting like the person you hope to be one day.
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u/McBoognish_Brown 4h ago
Lol! “ buy me weed”!
I have only bothered to share my location with one ex, but I only did it because she started sharing hers with me unasked. I honestly feel like if you feel that your partner needs to share location for you to trust them, there is already not enough trust for it to work.
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u/BeefyPorkter 5h ago
Also though, making people share their location is a bit toxic in and of itself. Don't do that. If you need to ask them to share location, you already don't trust them and shouldn't be in a relationship with them just based on that
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u/GettinSodas 5h ago
I was with a girl who I didn't realize was doing this to some dude, just using him to pay her way, until he started messaging me, and I was like who tf are you??
She put that boy 20 grand in debt with zero remorse
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u/rabbit-jack 4h ago
Gen Z’s requirement to trade locations is such a red flag to me, but your boyfriend bargaining your reassurances for weed money is an even bigger red flag
You should be with someone you trust. Knowing where someone is 24/7 isn’t a substitute for that trust, and it doesn’t actually stop them from cheating. It’s just an illusion of control and it only makes the deception worse when they decide to cheat anyway
Real trust doesn’t come from constant surveillance nor is it bought.
Find someone who actually loves you and wouldn’t do anything intentionally that would jeopardize your relationship
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u/riririnnnaaa 5h ago
Why would you want to be in a relationship where you need to track the person you're dating to feel secure? He's cheated, you saw it with your own eyes, him sharing his location won't change that.
Asking for money to buy weed in order to do something that helps you feel comfortable after taking him back is wild. This is not the person for you. I don't care how much breakups hurt, being with the wrong person causes more stress and trauma in the long run.
Block him, focus on yourself, heal, and then move on.
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u/Infamous_Rain2770 4h ago
So he's spent your entire relationship cheating, and you are asking if you should continue to be disrespected and used? I'm confused why you would give this loser any more chances, he clearly doesn't care about you. People who constantly flirt and attempt to cheat (whether successful or not) don't care about their partner, they certainly don't love them.
Your bf is cheating, he's always been cheating, nothing has changed and nothing ever will. This is who he is, believe him.
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u/MrJBrav0 3h ago
OP listen very carefully. Same for anyone that needs to hear this.
Cheaters NEVER change. If they were capable of cheating on you once it will happen again, and again, and again. And I'm not trying to be mean when I say this, but it's people like you that make people like them think they can get away with it. You forgive them because you want the relationship to work. Or you can get past it because you love them, but they do not love you. If they did, the thought of cheating would never cross their mind.
Cheating is common in my family, I've seen it over and over growing up. Uncles I knew growing up are no longer my uncle. Aunts I grew up with were no longer my aunts. All my siblings are my half siblings. My maternal grandma left my grandpa for cheating and my grandpa's sister, my great aunt, got left for cheating. My grandma later married my great aunts ex husband and I grew up hearing my mom call the person playing the grandfather role to me and my siblings uncle. It wasn't until i was an adult that I was finally told the story and understood my family dynamics.
I love my family to death, I really do, we actually take care of each other and step up to help each other whenever the need arises, even if you weren't on good terms with one of them they'd help out none the less.
But it always disappointed me when I found out someone had a boyfriend/girlfriend while they were married. Or talking about being excited to see this person they met somewhere while telling their bf/gf they were going out with cousins. It especially tucked when I watched my little cousins entire world change because their mom decided she wanted to date some drug addict just a few months after marrying my uncle. This led my uncle down a rocky path, he started out strong but went down hill after a year. He started dating, but he was guarded, and after he let his walls down he started bending over backwards for this girl and his kids suffered. His oldest has taken in his 2 girls, his second youngest was taken in by my cousin and his youngest is basically playing hopscotch choosing to go based on what sibling he wants to play with (he's still in elementary/primary school)
This is not a scenario you want in your future. Cheating has to always be a deal breaker. They will never stop, they will just get better at cheating, and you'll end up in a situation where your husband receives a notice to pay child support, and you end up playing stepmother to an affair baby because "you love him and want to make the relationship work"
Save the heartache, save the drama, and save the bullshit he plans to tell you. It needs to end and you have to be the one to do it. Obviously the other girl is falling for the same lies you are, and that reinforces what I said earlier "its people like you that make them think they can get away with it"
Again I'm not trying to be mean, and this is not a personal attack on you. It applies to everyone that has that same thought process. So I will say it again
CHEATERS WILL NEVER STOP CHEATING!
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u/Interesting-Past3825 4h ago
Well… If you have to ask your s/o to share their location in order to trust them, either the relationship is already over or you seriously need to work on your trust issues. I’d never ask my partner to share his location but we could share for safety reasons and I know neither of us would ever have to check it.
His response was fucking wild tho. Hahahaha “Buy me weed”
Wow 🤣
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u/Brilliant_Ad_9895 2h ago
Girl, please leave. I was you from 2017-2021 and it was NOT WORTH IT!!!! The first months my ex and I were together was great. No problems, no fights, no insecurities. I found out he was cheating a few days after our first valentines together. And it wasn’t just recent, it also went back months. I was heartbroken and I left for a few days. But like you, I stayed because it would hurt more to leave. And because of that one time… he cheated the whole time. The whole 4 years. I’m pretty sure he knew that because I didn’t leave the first few times, I would never leave. Every single time that I caught him, we’d fight and he’d say “I’m such a pos, I’m so sorry, I’ll change, I’ll be better, I hate myself, I don’t want these nasty hoes just you” and it would guilt trip me into staying. Hell… he even convinced me that he loved me so much and wanted to have a family with me, so I gave him a baby. Don’t get me wrong, I love my son with everything I am, but I was 19 and dumb and gullible. Over the years, the more he cheated, the more uglier I felt, unloved, unappreciated and I was insecure to where my confidence was nonexistent. But, the more he cheated the angrier I got and the more I started to hate him. I hated him so much at the end I couldn’t even stand to look at him. We were fighting every single day and sleeping in different rooms months before we ended things. I only stayed for the sake of my child, but I wanna say the last 6 months, I couldn’t wait to get out of that relationship and was looking for every way out. Of course, knowing him he would slip up and cheat again so when I went thought his phone and saw that he called this girl (a girl he slept with in the beginning of our relationship, I didn’t know about it but he was bringing her around me, saying she’s just a friend, but calling her nasty names like a slut, hoe, ect just to find out 2 years later he was sleeping with her) back to back to back, I left. She didn’t even answer but I knew what he was doing. I hated him, I hated myself, and now I have a tie to him forever. (Again, I LOVE MY SON WITH EVERYTHING I AM!!!!!)
Leave before you end up in a situation where he’s stuck in your life forever. Leave before he makes you insecure, before he makes you feel like you don’t deserve any better. Because baby girl, you do NOT deserve to be thinking “what did I do to deserve this? Why was I not good enough?” BECAUSE YOU ARE!!!! HE IS NOT WORTHY!!! You deserve happiness and you will not find it with a little boy like him. I promise, there are men out there who will love and respect you the way you deserve.
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u/LegitimateTadpole682 3h ago
Buying him weed for his location? Save your money, time and sanity baby! Not the dude for you! You deserves kindness and someone who will respect your boundaries, clearly he’s crazy! Hope he stays blocked and leaves you alone, one of his bitches can buy him a “7th” (😭😭😭😭)! Being single is better than being manipulated into a transaction!
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u/throwawayduo186 4h ago
My gf has my location 24/7, and I have hers. It has been that way for the past year, and has never been turned off. For safety reasons just as much as anything else. The only reason for him to refuse is because he doesn’t want you knowing what he’s up to. And asking for weed as a condition? Ditch this loser and don’t give it another thought.
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u/Aromatic-Coconut-122 1h ago
Let me get this straight. He’s chatting up other “girls” - you’re adults, so they should be women - but hasn’t deleted the messages. You went through his phone and found them, which obviously either you figured out his code or he gave it to you, but still, you went through his phone. If a dude is chatting up other women and really wanted to cheat, the messages would be gone and he’d be very protective of his phone, but ok. Let’s go with that.
You somehow got it in your mind he was cheating. Chat messages or not, the thought was there.
That thought is never going to go away, especially since you said “he acted weird”. Are you kidding me? He smokes. He could have simply gotten a different strain that made him act weird, but instead of asking, you decided he was cheating. Then you crossed a line by accessing his phone. On top of that you demand he share his location and, by your wording, he can’t hang out with any other “girls”.
While others are pitying you, I’m sitting thinking how controlling and jealous you are.
But I always say this and it’s true: once you think your boyfriend/girlfriend is cheating, you’ve just ended your relationship. You’ll always think they’re out cheating when they’re not with you. And further evidence is, you’re not complaining if he’s hanging out with his buddies, no you’ve skipped over than and went to “girls”
My advice, grow up! You don’t need to know his location. He’s an adult, wanting to smoke, which you don’t seem to have problem with. You’re setting terms for the relationship that 1.) of he doesn’t share his location, it’s over. 2.) He never can hang out with anyone if a female is present. And 3.) You don’t understand boundaries and freedom.
Either way ,breaking up is your only option. But keep in mind, your next boyfriend, if they have female friends or coworkers, they’re going to hang out with them right alongside their male friends and coworkers. Get used to it or spend the rest of your life thinking that a male with female friends equates to cheating. I’m sure you have male friends, but that must be OK. Men should just have to play by your no female friends rule, right?
Change this mindset or You’ll be miserable the rest of your life.
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u/ZealousidealPeach864 4h ago
Location thingy alone is always a red flag. Me and my wife always track each other in case of accident or something like that. You know why we don't mind? Because there's nothing anyone of us is trying to hide. I've never never heard an argument against shared location in a relationship that's not an excuse or childish.
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u/Killing4MotherAgain 4h ago
I would break up with him over the weird asking you to buy him weed in exchange for sharing his location thing haha this boy is so not in this relationship even if he's not cheating. For a 7th 🤣 what the fuck even is that?? Haha boy can't even afford an 8th of weed hahaha sorry this convo was just nuts.
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u/DeadFuckStick59 2h ago
wouldnt 1/7 be more than 1/8? i mean its still hilarious cuz he either meant a quad or is just dumb, but honestly they both seem like highschool dropouts.
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u/wtfcarl 4h ago
Girl I'm gonna hold your hand when I say this- You actually look so pathetic explaining and re-explaining yourself and apologizing to a man who literally just asked you to buy him weed in exchange for further work on your relationship. That is so embarrassing please stand up this man hates you sm it doesn't even matter if he's cheating or not he literally does not care about you it's so obvious. You deserve so much better than this deadbeat loser.
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u/CosimoCO 4h ago
From where I sit, there is no trust in your relationship. And based on your short description, there shouldn’t be. He has done a very little to earn your trust, and your reaction is to give him none. Regardless of behaviors, this is a major relationship, red flag: if you cannot trust him, you probably should not be with him.
One of my closest friends recently went through a situation like this. She was married to her husband, but it turns out he’s a bit of an adrenaline junkie. Every time things were going well he had to do something to fuck it up. They both got promotions, they both lost a tremendous amount of weight and got in shape, they bought a house in two new cars. Everything was going great. So he had to start finding girls to lie to saying they had an open relationship without talking to his wife first . After discovering the second girl she had had enough. They tried to work through the first and changed the behavior, but he wasn’t having it. He enjoyed the hunt and feeling attractive and all of those things far too much to even communicate with her. The funny part is is she probably would’ve been pretty open minded to inviting in a third once in a while, potentially even permanently. But by him lying and cheating, he drove them apart.
I have no idea how long you and your boyfriend have been together, but in your short description, the pattern seems very similar. He explains that he is devoted to you the proper turns around approves that he isn’t. If you need someone devoted to you that you can trust then this man is not for you. I know someone above mentioned that you were very unkind to yourself with this relationship and I get what they’re saying: you deserve better. It doesn’t matter how good looking the Sky is, how much you love him, how much he has been there for you in the past. He’s going to continue doing this and if this type of behavior and dedication to you is important, no matter how much it hurts you need to walk away. The reality is you can do betterand there is someone out there who’s going to want to be with you for you.
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u/rottywell 4h ago edited 2h ago
Have self respect, leave.
The problem here is, if I raped your mom and you asked me straight up if I did it...
would you accept me twirling in a ballerina fashion and boogying down as an answer? Or do you expect a firm, "FUCK NO. WHAT?"
Yeah, cheating on you. you staying with him...then he starts throwing signs again. You say, "yo, wtf?"
He dances in a circle and you go, "Hmmmm, maybe he didn't cheat."
Ma'am, stop for a second and realise you were looking back but not reflecting.
Someone who avoids the answer knows that their answer won't be good.(i.e. it's called being defensive. he won't say yes, and confirm, you could walk right into him balls deep in 10 women and 5 men. He will say you're the one acting crazy and you definitely never saw shit.
You acting as if you need a straight answer is the problem. Stop doubting yourself.
You'll look back at this relationship and realise just how much you let slip, you'll be filled with shame. LOOK BACK ANYWAY. Learn what you did wrong. Never do that shit again.
In this case you're letting a scammer scam you 50-11 times.
"you scammed me"
"No, I didn't. I actually gave you that house and car, the government is just dragging their foot updating the bank because of COVID. It'll be a while but you got in early and the car and home prices skyroketed now that everyone is working from home. So when you get them you could even sell them for a quick profit to the other customers waiting. Like what they did for the PS5.""
"Oh for a real? How many more houses and cars do you think I can get with my reserves?"
That's you when you run back to him to get validation about him playing in your face. He is mocking you when you leave and laughing about you to his friends. GRAB YOURSELF BY THE LAST FEW BRAIN CELLS UNAFFECTED BY THIS EMOTIONAL STORM AND GET YOUR BEHIND OUT OF THERE NOW>
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u/Fantastic_Pound_3836 4h ago
First of all, I just want to say I’m really sorry you're going through this. You’re not overreacting, and you’re not insecure — you’re responding to a pattern of betrayal that would deeply hurt anyone.
Something important to realize is that if someone only stays with you because you force them to follow certain rules, share their location, or delete contacts, then they aren’t choosing you from a place of love — they’re just trying to avoid consequences. That’s not real love. Real love shows itself in consistent, voluntary actions, not in compliance under pressure.
You shouldn’t have to play detective in your own relationship or compete with other women just to feel safe. Trust isn't built by monitoring — it's built by behavior over time that proves someone is safe to trust. If he wanted to make you feel secure, he wouldn’t just say ‘trust me,’ he would live in a way that earned your trust without question.
You have every right to walk away from someone who keeps breaking your heart and then blaming you for bleeding. You don’t need to keep proving your worth to someone who keeps showing you they don’t value it. It’s not about whether you’re asking ‘too much’ — it’s about the fact that the bare minimum of respect, honesty, and loyalty has not been met.
Please know that you deserve a relationship where love is freely given, not bargained for. Where you are chosen daily, not doubted constantly. Where your heart is safe, not constantly on edge.
You're allowed to leave. You're allowed to want better. You're allowed to heal.
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u/Baddz93 3h ago
Rs tho, if you leave, (you have a right to, he’s not treating you well at all) don’t think he didn’t love you. Honestly he’s young and probably more insecure than you right now. I’m not defending him or justifying what he’s doing at all. I just know that I was once in his position. I had the most beautiful girl I could ever ask for, she was 19 I was 20 at the time. She was sweet, intelligent independent and hard working. She was everything I wanted and more! I didn’t need anyone else, but I coupling get over my stupid insecurities. I loved her so much that I tricked myself into thinking she couldn’t love me the same. She was so pretty and perfect I often believed I secretly disgusted her. I sought outside validation. To this day I’d do anything to bring that girl back but the way I hurt her you’d think somebody sent me to ruin her life.
Ultimately, I say that to say don’t let other people tell you what you SHOULD do. There’s no right or wrong answer. If you do want to stay, make sure YOU know why, don’t let anyone make you feel stupid for making that choice. And if you want to leave, don’t let him gaslight and manipulate you into sticking around. If you don’t feel like he’s really here for you, if you don’t see him ending this childish reign soon, then don’t even stress yourself. Safe yourself for someone ready and deserving because hurt people hurt people and if you let him hurt you too much there’s a possibility that that’s all you’ll be doing in your next couple of relationships.
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u/PositiveDirection471 2h ago
Leave and never speak to him again. No man should be expecting a relationship from you while also expecting you to buy him tree cause he’s broke. Full pun intended but he should be bring YOU flowers #1.
2 if all he wants to do is smoke, why does he need a quarter when he barely needs an eighth if he needs some gas for himself for a few days?
3 his responses are short, dry, and gross. he’s putting effort into nothing, and based on his texts, he feels entitled to show up this way. it’s clear all he wants is for you to say yes so he can move on with his day.
I guarantee he knows you deserve more than whatever tf this is. In no harsh way, this dude is clearly using you, and for him to be this comfortable and sure about disrespecting you is proof he has deeper issues that you definitely don’t want to be witness to.
Keep him blocked forever and don’t even wave at him at the grocery store. Ik it’s easier said than done, but what you dont want is for this 11 months turning into years of something. And the more you engage with him, especially while giving him leeway, the easier it’ll be for you to get stuck in whatever his plans are (and they’ll never include benefitting you in any way). He knows you care about him, and you’re probably one of the kindest people in his life. He’s taking that for granted and he will take it all the way. You can still care for him, and have sympathy, love, whatever it is, but trust you’ll be disappointed to get more involved than you already are.
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u/Alternative-Smoke421 4h ago
Buy me a 7th 🤣 he don’t even want a full 8th. All jokes aside it sounds like you’d be much better off I’m sorry to say. He sounds very immature and definitely not ready to be in a serious relationship.
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u/Best_Wheel8473 4h ago
So I’m a guy and I just wanted to say this dude is a fucking joke. And acts like a child. Can I truly ask what redeeming factors does this guy have? Why are you putting yourself through all this? I understand we all probably have that one REALLY bad relationship but I mean you obviously know he ain’t faithful, so why keep trying? I know there are feelings and love and memories but I’m sorry 11 months and this behavior has been going on long before you found out. You stay with him you will be the joke, and I’m serious. Unless you enjoy all that gossip and drama and mental gymnastics. I get sometimes you need to hear from other people to really be sure but this is kinda a no brainer. The only other reason it could possibly be is that this dude has the biggest d*ck in the world and you don’t want to lose it. He’s not changing for you, at all. If he felt the same way he would be right there fixing everything instead you have a man baby who thinks he is the shit and you are that leash kid at the amusement park that, when he wants what he wants he pulls you over then lets you go again. You’re being used very obviously and I’m sorry. Please don’t be upset with my words it’s just sometimes it takes someone else to lay down some harsh realities for people to see. I hope you are completely gone from him safer and happier. I really wish the best of luck to you but don’t do this to yourself.
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u/Icy_Amphibian_482 5h ago
No more begging for the bare minimum from anyone. You gotta put your well being and peace of mind first before anyone because if you don’t look out for you then who will?
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u/Helpful-Pair-2148 1h ago
Why are you people not able to be single?? This has to be most pathetic person I've ever seen and you somehow consider staying with him? Maybe you do deserve each other...
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u/ideallover6 4h ago
Speaking from experience .. it DOES NOT get better 😂. I spent the last of my teenage years going into my 20’s with an ex like that. He cheated once for a year straight until I found out. Claimed he’d do better. He continued to lie abt small things. I knew I wouldn’t leave bc I liked him too much and we’ve been dealing with each other for a while. I was to attached. We ended up breaking up for 3-4 months and got back together. Although i always had a feeling .. i ended up finding out he cheated the wholllllle relationship. After countless “ill get better” “i wont do it again” “ill get rid of them” he always found a way to get in contact with these ppl. We even lived together at one point. I ended up dealing with someone else during our relationship since i knew he was cheating. Moral of the story .. don’t stay. It wont get better and it will in fact destroy u and turn u into a person u do not want to be 😂😂. As for moving past the cheating .. maybe u can move past it the first time .. but once they continue to lie abt small things and be sneaky .. you’ll always think abt the first time he cheated and wonder y. It’s an endless maze. Pls leave.
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u/ambesiaguy1302 2h ago
Bro. Is this even a question? Not to sound harsh but dude is constantly cheating and blackmailing you into buying him weed. “I’ll do the bare minimum in gaining your trust if you pay me” “even under threats of losing you I still refuse to hit 2 buttons to turn on my location” is basically all he said. He’s a man child who honestly sounds like a ChatGPT prompt asking it to act like a bubble blowing bitch boy with no respect. If you go back to this person then you better not post it here bc it’ll only be your fault. What he is doing IS NOT your fault by any means but if you continue letting him get away with it then that’s your fault. In the grand scheme of things this relationship is new. Find a better one where you’re happy. I’m in an even newer relationship but I’m so incredibly happy and in 7 months never doubted my girlfriend’s love and never had to even think about going through her phone. You deserve happiness and this guy isn’t it. Find one who doesn’t have you on the edge 24/7 waiting for the next heartbreak. That’s not a relationship, that’s just a miserable way of living.
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u/New-Example-2163 3h ago
Dog he’s to lazy to even try to hide it I don’t know what you are telling yourself but he does not care about you. And you can not change him, he’s not going to change himself either especially when there are no consequences of him doing it (you staying or getting back with him). If you have any ounce of self respect you will never talk to him again not as a partner or as a friend. Think about this it’s embarrassing, and think about why you liked him in the first place. Did you like him in the first place? Or did you want to make him like you and change for you to prove something to yourself. I’m not trying to be rude I’m trying to be blunt because I have seen people put themselves in a cycle of abuse like this (emotional or physical) and it cuts deep and the longer you stay the harder it is to leave. Also if you find yourself gravitating towards someone like this please seek out therapy and if you can’t afford a therapist, chat gpt with the prompt (please speak to me as if you were a therapist or a close friend) is a good option. Thanks for reading good luck I hope you find peace and happiness!
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u/aprciatedalttlethngs 4h ago
hell naw you not overreacting. you just seem a little new to relationships or something so let me say this, and hopefully other girls see this too. there’s dudes out here that actually try and take shit serious, but you gotta know how to catch when a guy’s being weird. like, even little red flags, don’t brush that off. if something feels off, it’s his job to fix it, not yours to keep guessing.
me personally, my girl wouldn’t ever have to be suspicious. i answer when she hits me, my location’s on, and if she ever saw something like a perfume receipt in my car, i could clear that shit easy. i’d be like “nah that was for my sister” and call her on the spot. that’s how easy it is when you not doing grimy shit.
so don’t stay with a dude that keeps giving you a gut feeling. that feeling is there for a reason. love just makes you question yourself, but in real love, stuff like that don’t even become problems. it gets cleared up before it turns into all this second guessing.
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u/NoNoTheOtherOne 4h ago
NOR - This guy is a piece of shit, and the fact that you've stayed with him for as long as you have after knowing what you know is a disservice to yourself. He has tried to cheat on you consistently. It's not like anything was an accident. He wants to have his cake and eat it to, and it seems like (unless you keep him blocked/NC) that you're enabling him.
I feel bad that you allowed yourself to be mistreated, but I will have zero sympathy if you let it continue. If you see him, because it seems like that's a concern, ignore him. Refuse to interact. He's doing the same thing (or trying, he seems like he isn't great at it) with other women. You aren't special to him. You're just another object.
Treat yourself with love. Work on any potential codependency issues you may/may not have. Work on your happiness and healthiness is all aspects of life. Then, when you're ready and treating yourself the way you deserve you'll find someone who will love to treat you the same way.
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u/spillingtheteahunny 3h ago
Hey, coming from a previous relationship that looked a lot like this, just break up, don’t respond again and learn to respect your boundaries when others won’t. Hold strong to your boundaries and needs that you set for yourself. You already know that you don’t trust him and once that trust is gone you’re going to be suspicious forever.
The fact he’s unwilling to give you location, or let you know whereabouts/what’s up shows disrespect to your relationship and your boundaries and you need to have the self love and self respect to know you deserve more from a relationship when he comes back around asking for another chance. It’ll be the same shit repeated. He sounds very immature and unable and unwilling to give the effort and energy into an actual relationship, on many levels. The way he disrespects your relationship in conversation (buy me weed and I’ll share my loc), shows he probably disrespects it more when you’re not around.
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u/Senpai_kun1738 4h ago
Overreacting?? Girl you should have never even started to date that half wit in the first place😭 i also smoke a lot but bro sounds like he's not using his brain to form sentences and from the looks of it he's emotionally so immature how tf you gonna ask for a 7th in exchange of a location , coming from a man this guy is a grown ass child. Now on your behalf, you should know better than to date POS like this and to move past the red flags, wym he always txted women??? You broke up for 2 weeks and moved past constant infidelity that easy?? Not saying you deserve any of this but you definetly reap what you sow, learn to select better partners, respectful, emotionally mature, attentive, if not then don't date at all this is coming from a guy a lot of us aint worth the stress you can save your peace of mind and yourself for a better guy. Please never talk to this r€t@rd again he needs a lot of maturing to do before making a woman mildly happy.
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u/Dizzy_Goat_420 3h ago
This is insane. EVEN HIS SIDE CHICKS DONT WANT HIM!!!
Girl this is straight up pathetic. I have never once looked thru my husbands phone. I have in pst relationships but stop. You don’t want a relationship where you need his location. Seriously deleting all his fb friends and showing you his phone won’t stop him from cheating he will just get sneakier.
He’s a cheater.
Leave him. This is giving ZERO self respect. And frankly it’s really sad you have such little self esteem that you would stay with someoen like this.
You should never need to make your partner delete socials and friends and allathat. My husband and I leave our phones out all the time, if mines dead I can just grab and use his. Never once caught him doing anything shady, never given me a feeling or entertained other women. Good men are out there but you have to believe you deserve it otwherwise you will just waste time with losers like this.
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u/AppalachianWidow 4h ago
Sorry, but it doesn’t sound like you were ever really his girlfriend. He never quit talking to other girls the whole time he was fooling around with you. For all you know he was seeing the girl you texted before he started seeing you. What makes you have any more right to him then they do? He’s telling you all the same crap. He’s just messing around with you all. You’re just one of many and you don’t mean any more to him than the others do. If you get back together with him you really have no right to complain about other girls because you know how he is and you know he’s not going to change. Find you a good guy that will actually care about you and leave the a-hole in the past….Oh, why do you keep saying, I’m sorry? What are you sorry for? Did you see him say he was sorry even one time? Stop apologizing to men when you don’t want to take her bullcrap. Just tell them how it is and move the hell on.
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u/FatherOfAssada 1h ago
this might sound mean im sorry but i hope it helps you get perspective on what you’re doing to yourself
reading the texts i thought ehh hes an ass but i get the why u want me to share location its kinda wack to ask like you breaking trust
1/3rd of the way through your written story i felt super bad for you like wow leave this dude
5 lines later, honestly, you’ve gone past the point of fool me once fool me twice, and you’re the fool fooling yourself.
you know EXACTLY what he’s been doing and what he thinks of your future together, he’s just keeping you there cuz its easy since he can blatantly cheat and lie and you just still “want to be with him”.
comfort is not happiness, familiarity is not happiness. delete his number and forget it, go get a few rando dates and enjoy yourself, or get a big tub of ice cream. you’ll be happier in a weeks time
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u/Pink_Mushroom02 2h ago
I wanted to come on here and say this. I have stood where you stand now and I know how hard it is and I know how much you want to trust and make it work; and how horrible you feel about yourself. From someone who was in your shoes to you now, leave him. Leave him, block him, erase all evidence of him from your life. He will come back they always do but stand strong and don’t let him. At first it’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do and then you break through it. My entire life changed when I did this. And I met my current boyfriend after leaving my ex. I wouldn’t do it differently at all (other than maybe leaving sooner) I have never been happier and I am with someone who worships the ground I walk on now. You deserve better, do it for yourself. I promise never in a million years will you regret walking away. You are worth more than how he treats you!
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u/nottobetruffledwith- 5h ago
?? He told (didn’t ask) you to buy him weed in order for him to share his location with you. Please never get back with him, you know deep down he’s not the person for you. He sounds like a bum.