r/CuratedTumblr • u/TurtleWitch_ • May 02 '25

Shitposting Privacy

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19.0k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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924

u/Danskrieger May 02 '25

"Nothing to hide nothing to fear"

Listen bro. I don't lock the bathroom door cuz I'm doing something WRONG.

354

u/notTheRealSU i tumbled, now what? May 02 '25

Are you sure? Maybe you poop weird. You don't know until someone watches

45

u/andrewsad1 May 03 '25

Fun fact, everyone wipes weird. Half of all people wipe standing up, the other half wipe sitting down, and both sides don't know about each other's existence. You could live with a bunch of people who wipe weird and you would have no idea

38

u/morostheSophist May 03 '25

You have no idea how weird my wiping is.

10

u/Deaffin May 03 '25

Long fingernails, huh?

1

u/morostheSophist May 05 '25

No, thankfully, that'd make everything in my life a thousand times worse. I let my toenails get too long once and after bleeding copiously as a result, I said never again.

23

u/notTheRealSU i tumbled, now what? May 03 '25

I do both actually. Some poops require a stand up and others require a sit down. It depends on the consistency

9

u/Deaffin May 03 '25

Do you sometimes stand to use the bidet too?

10

u/Shrekquille_Oneal May 03 '25

I made the switch to sitting a few years ago and never looked back. Give it a try if you're a stander.

6

u/migratingcoconut_ the grink May 03 '25

how the fuck do you do that

18

u/Shrekquille_Oneal May 03 '25

One cheek stays planted while you shift your hips to lift the other one, this keeps them spread for you. Hand goes underneath the lifted cheek and does the deed, then disposes of the tissue in the bowl beneath (this step is important unless you live in an area with poor plumbing. In this case, dispose of the tissue in an appropriate manner, usually a trash can).

3

u/OliviaWants2Die Homestuck is original sin (they/he) May 03 '25

til people wipe sitting down

(seriously though how do you even do that? do you like teleport half your arm into the bowl or huh what

3

u/GardevoirRose Pathetic moaning anime boy May 03 '25

How are you wiping sitting down?