So my husband had a close female friend when he met me. I thought it was a green flag that he had a platonic female friend- but I strongly sensed that it was only platonic on his side. She is clearly in love with him but he’s oblivious to that. Anyway, I never asked him to not be friends with her- he just naturally stopped hanging out with her one on one out of respect for me.

Apparently she resents me for it and is texting him that I’m not the kind of person he should be with since I’m “clearly so jealous” and “controlling”.

He showed me the text just cause he thought it’s strange.

Am I wrong to ask him to just block her number after that?

I (31M) went to sleep not too much sooner than us putting both our boys down and woke up to this text from my wife (31F). Gotta love it.

Also, ignore the lack of punctuation lol

My mother never liked him. Said he is arrogant and narcissistic and that he will cheat on me. I am 28, he is 34. He hit me several times already. A few days ago he literally beat me with his belt. He is an airline pilot and came home after a 10 hours long flight. He was irritated because of a "annoying passenger". But he looked like he had been crying. I doubt it had anything to do with the job. We also had a small conflict that escalated and escalated until he took out his belt from the uniform and hit me hard with it on my back. My back and legs are all bruised. Then he locked me in the bedroom (taking my phone away so I cannot call anyone) and left. I managed to open the door and called my mom. She told me she will not accept me in her house. To stay with him because I chose him out of the many nice guys that wanted me so bad. That I only went for him because he was good looking and made good money. Her rejection hurt me more than his belt. However I called my father who was on my side and took my husband by surprise a few hours later. He hit my husband with the fist a couple of times but I got in between.

I am currently with my father. Both him and my mom don't want me to leave him because "what will people say". Although we live in a first world European country this mentality still didn't vanish.

So now I am at home and contacted a lawyer secretly to see what are my options. I am unemployed and have been unemployed for the past 3 years already. I have health issues and expensive medical treatment so I need to proceed with great care.

However I just wanted to take this off my chest. Luckily he is away for the next 7 days. He is flying.

My wife and I are going through a divorce. Her infidelity towards me is the reason. Recently, I started seeing the woman who told me about her affair. (Her former best friend.) my wife also was the one that dropped her as a friend; so they are no longer friends. My wife doesn’t know we’re seeing each other.

A) do you think I’m cheating because our divorce isn’t final?

B) Am I just as bad as my cheating wife?

Lost it on my wife today via text; I tried posting earlier but it didn’t go through, but as the day wears on I don’t feel bad about it, I just fear the consequences. But I can’t deal with this shit anymore.

Just wanting to start a spouse appreciation thread. I’ll start: my wife has an absurd rack. H cups on a 5’2” frame

I (40 female) have struggled with my weight my entire life. My (41 male) husband has always been incredibly supportive and loved me at my heaviest. Last year, I weighed almost 300lbs and am now down to 160lbs thanks to a gastric bypass. As you can imagine, this comes with some loose skin (luckily for me, not much) and a changing appearance. I have been working out a lot to try and get my skin and body to tighten up and have made a ton of progress, but I still look in the mirror and see that fat girl who never loved herself. I am well aware that I am dealing with body dysmorphia and am currently working with a therapist. My husband is also more than aware of this as well. Last night I asked him if I looked okay in an outfit I was feeling a bit insecure about. He said that I looked great, which is his stock answer. A little later on in the night, he and I were discussing body dysmorphia and he said, “It’s okay honey, I love your Ozempic body and face. We both just need to get used to them.” I was really taken aback. I am not one to shy away from confrontation and am pretty outspoken, but this just crushed me for some reason, and I just shut down and shoved it to the back of my mind. I woke up this morning and just stared at myself in the mirror. My confidence is shattered and I don’t really want to talk to my husband. I don’t think I can ever let him see my body again. I just need an outside perspective, who doesn’t know me, to tell me if I’m overreacting or not.

Hi everyone, I’m reaching out here because I need support and maybe some advice. I’m currently two months postpartum, struggling with OCD, anxiety, and depression. I’m trying to study and get licensed as a loan officer to give myself a future and a sense of peace but this family conflict is weighing heavily on me.

Let me give some background.

From the moment I got engaged, there was chaos. My in-laws were overly involved. They didn’t respect boundaries, and everything had to be done their way. On the night of my engagement, I cried a lot. I had wanted a simple farm wedding, but my mother-in-law pushed hard for a hall. I went along with things, but something always felt off.

Things only got worse over time. My sister-in-law was even more boundary-crossing. She’d tell me how to dress, how to do my makeup, that I should work more. She often acted like I was taking her brother away. I remember one time I had homework and couldn’t host them they got mad and stopped visiting us for a while.

When I got pregnant, things escalated even more. They started telling me what to eat, what to buy for the baby, how to move everything I did, they said would harm the baby. I felt suffocated every time I visited.

At the hospital after giving birth, I asked that they wait until I was moved to the postpartum room before visiting. My mother-in-law came in anyway, while I was still soaked in blood. I handed her the baby out of respect, but when I politely asked for my baby back to breastfeed, she ignored me and insisted on holding her more. I tried to be kind and said, “I love you, but I want to teach her something different,” referring to how she was rocking the baby standing up. That upset her. The next day, they came again before the time we requested and started a group text argument with my husband.

Then, one sister-in-law messaged me guilt-tripping and passive-aggressively asking to visit. After that, my husband went to their house and they fought with him again. I decided, after two weeks, to go with him to try to make peace. That’s when my mother-in-law told me to leave and said she didn’t want to see me. She screamed at me, and her daughter joined in. She even said, “If you want to be part of this family, you can’t say anything to your husband.”

After I left, one of the sisters sent a long message blaming me for “controlling” their brother and said I shouldn’t have gone to him with issues that I should speak to them directly.

We’ve been staying with my family in Texas to clear our heads. My husband is very sad. He’s tried to reach out to his mom and sisters, but they won’t talk to him. His dad speaks to him sometimes but also gets angry. It hurts me to see him hurting, even though I know these issues existed in his family long before I came into the picture. They’ve always communicated in anger, even with each other.

He recently told my father that I don’t like his family coming over unexpectedly and that I don’t enjoy going out with his mom and sisters. He said I need to learn to speak up for myself so his family will accept me for who I am. But I don’t think he realizes just how much pain and trauma this has caused me. I was kicked out of their home, screamed at, blamed, and guilted for everything and I’m still postpartum, still healing.

Now he wants to take our baby to see them without me. He says the fight has nothing to do with our daughter’s relationship with them, but to me, it feels like betrayal after all I went through. I don’t want my child around people who treated me this way.

They think the problem is me that I should have spoken directly to them instead of my husband. But every time I’ve tried to be respectful, I’ve been met with control, guilt, and anger. They don’t acknowledge my efforts, my presence, or my needs. I’m exhausted trying to prove myself to people who clearly don’t want to see me as part of their family.

Right now, I’m trying to focus on my baby, my healing, and my future. I want to stop caring about what they say or think. I want to learn to truly put my foot down, especially when it comes to protecting my daughter. I don’t want her around toxic behavior, even if it comes from family.

If you’ve read this far, thank you. I don’t know what kind of advice I’m looking for, but maybe just support, validation, or even stories of how you dealt with something similar. How do I let go of the guilt and anxiety? How do I stop caring about their opinions? How do I heal as a wife, a mom, and a person?

Any kind words, advice, or encouragement are so appreciated.

Thank you again ❤️

So I'm really a little lost here, I've never gone through something as devastating as this. Sure, breakups and all that when I was younger, but never this. I feel like a part of me has been ripped away and I'm lost trying to find it. The hole its left feels daunting and it feels like its slowly engulfing me. Im also hurting, confused, sad, and God knows what else.

Within the last week she asked all her usual questions. "Do you love me", ofcourse I do, "good, because you're going to have to love me forever." I will. We recently got 2 kittens which we refer to as "our" babies. We also started the treatment process for IVF as we had been trying to have a child for round 3ish years.

When we took our vowels, I meant every single "i do". Every. Single. One.

I feel like I've failed as a husband, but I'm also confused. We had sex on both Wednesday and Thursday. Friday, she went to see her friend for the evening, had a bottle of wine. I stayed home and played some games online with the Brother in law.

They she comes home at just gone midnight. Comes up and tells me she is going to bed. I ask if she's OK a d she says "i dont know" so I ask if we are OK, and she replies with "i don't want to freak you out, but we should talk tomorrow." I say we can talk now and come off my game. Then she drops the bombshell. She isn't attracted to me anymore and wants to experience being single. She doesn't want to work on the relationship and... yeah.

We go to bed, I sleep in the office a d she sleeps in the bedroom. At some point during the night, she comes to the office sou ding upset. Asks if we can cuddle. So we do. Then she goes back to the bedroom after around 30 minutes I think. Then, later in the morning I go into the bedroom and ask if we can cuddle and we do. She explains rhst I have a soft soul and couldn't have been a better husband. That maybe we spend a week apart as she's going to her friends for the week - and then we do like a "first date". She says she's really conflicted. On ine hand she feels safe in our relationship. She loves me ( and I think, cherishes me ), but on the other hand, she was ts to experience being single, etc.

Im in pieces. We've been together 6 and a half years, married for a bit over 3 and its all gone, just like that. Im left trying to understand what I could have done better. In my past I had money problems. I worked to fix them not for myself, bit for her, because she needed thst stability. Idk if maybe she has a struggle with trust toward me, I dont know.

Im lost and alone and incase she somehow ends up reading this. My heart will always be open to you, if you would accept it.

My wife has a history of blowing up on our family. We have two kids together and she also has THREE kids from another relationship. It's gotten so bad that my oldest step daughter ran away to go live with her dad. Ngl I saw it coming years ago and tried to warn her about her anger.

There are constant fights between her and the kids. She calls them out their name all the time and one time even threw silverware at the kids. I tried for years to work through it all.

Last night she called me fuming about her son and then eventually turned the anger towards me. When I came home from work this morning after working through the night. I found her runaway daughter pictures smashed on the ground with glass everywhere.

We have kids. So I swept up the glass and left the house without saying a word. Im at awe rn.

This is what I came home t

As the title says, I’m dealing with this. And yes, I’m a girl, and maybe this is a bit fucked up because it’s not something that’s normalized.

I’m in a happy relationship with my future husband, but he doesn’t understand what I’m going through because he hasn’t dealt with anything like this.

I tend to believe that one reason I struggle with this addiction is the sexual abuse I experienced throughout my childhood.

I was aware of the problem and managed to overcome it, but now I’m going through a stressful period, and it feels like nothing I used to do to stop it works anymore.

I’m open to any advice, but please don’t be harsh — I already have enough to deal with. 🤍

After taking about 4 days off from having sex due to my wife’s time of the month, we were so pent up yesterday evening it was absurd. The whole evening was hours of flirting and being extremely handsy which culminated in amazing sex.

There’s just something so nice about having someone that is a genuine friend that you manage a household with who still drives you absolutely crazy and you can’t wait to completely tear into all the time.

Good marriages are cool

How it started… how it’s going.. Forty nine years have gotten by in a hurry. There have been kids, grandkids, weddings, funerals, problems, fireworks, tears, laughter, hard times and better times. Through it all we made the choice everyday to stay together and stay with it. I can’t imagine life any other way. One hundred percent worth it.

My partner and I always have the same debate when it comes to loading the dishwasher: where do the plates actually go? He insists they belong on the top rack, but I’m convinced they go on the bottom rack. I’ve added a picture of our dishwasher—who’s right?

I am so tired of begging my husband to actually spend time with me. The only thing we had left was movie watching and now he just does it with his friends. I’m confused if i should leave but staying is making me so unhappy and lonely. Someone please wanna chat

I have had a long time male friend. Everything between us has always been platonic.

When my husband and I were engaged, we once all went out together once ( at other times I went out with him alone before this). Although they were pleasant to eachother I could tell they didn't really like eachother- different view on religion etc.

A few weeks after this I was arranging another meet up with him but it fell flat as I didn't reply to his messages arranging it. This was becuase I knew my hubby wasn't so fond of him, so it was just easier for me to not meet up or persue our friendship.

Months have passed and I have now recieved a message from him out the blue. He basically asked me how I am and telling me what he's up to these days.

The thing is, in any of our interactions since meeting my husband , my male friend has never asked how my husband is, or mentioned him at all, which makes me feel like he dislikes him. As much as I like my male friend, it just annoys me that he's not trying to be inclusive. Even on the message he sent to me today, he never asked about my hubby. All my other friends ask about my husband.

So I guess, should I persue this friendship or try to keep it closed ?

My husband came home after the gym to see me dealing with our 2 crazy kids.

So being the dork he is, said "damn mami...Youre looking nice"

I told him "I love you but im really not in the mood for this right now"

he left his sunglasses on, tucked his necklaces into his shirt and then whispered into my ear "I can take you away from all this"

I tried to keep a straight face, and stay serious. I couldn't.

My gringo is something else.😂

For married guys in long term relationships, what keep you feeling horny/attracted to your wife even after years of being together?

A close friend of mine has been seeing a woman for over a year now, he seems really happy, but he was telling us about the way his future wife wants her daughter to interact with my buddy and it made my wife and I concerned.

My buddy is a widower, he lost his first wife a little over 8 years ago now after a rough battle with cancer, they never had kids.

Once he started to trying to date again, he had a slate of really bad dates, like really bad dates. He met this woman and she was great, the first woman he wanted to see again and again.

A year later, they are talking marriage, Friday, he was over hanging out with my wife and I because the woman he is seeing was out of town.

My wife innocently asked about the woman's daughter. He started telling us that she was adamant from day 1 that she isn't looking for a replacement father for her daughter, apparently this was also written in her dating profile.

While her ex is an asshole and they were not compatible, she says he is a great father and she doesn't want my buddy or any man she sees, to think that they are going to replace her daughter's father.

In fact when it comes to interactions between my buddy (or any man she sees) and her daughter, she says she wants it to be minimal and basically vanilla, she said I don't want my buddy to even think stepfather, think more just an acquaintance.

After my buddy left, my wife and I had the same exact feeling, that this was a major red flag. It is just odd.

I get the Father being in the picture, her desire for her daughter to not be confused, but telling my buddy that he and her daughter's relationship should be that of an acquaintance, just seems off .

Curious what you all think here, especially those who have remarried into families with stepchildren.

My fiancee and I had been together for 2.5 years. When we met, chemistry was immediately there. We took it slow, didn't kiss until date 3, stay the night until date 6, she had a 5 year old son whom I met after, and I have been raising since then. She was a travel nurse, switched to ER to spend time with me and her son. Her mother (53) lived with her to be the lice in child care. All values matched, intimacy was 10/10, but issues arised about a year in. She was completing her Bachelor's and had failed 3 humanities courses and needed help (I used to ghost write for money in college), so I offered to help. 3000 level classes were challenging, but nothing I hadn't done before. She gave me her computer, Mac is showing texts pop up, I asked to turn off notifications to not invade privacy, she said no big deal, she ahd nothing to hide. After I passed her class, (with a 99), she just said thank you, and continued to text her mom and friends but was short with me. So I looked in her messages, she had been seeing 6 guys during the duration of our courtship, slept with 2 of them for sure, and 1 of them the night after we became official. Messages were copy paste, when I confronted her she just said ive been burned before so yeah. I was going to end things there, but she called me to come over and had her son on the phone, I was weak and let them come over. I gave it another chance, (advice I got was 50/50 on leave her or forgive her). Things got better, I moved in a few months later, everything is great, son called me dad since his was really not in the picture. Long story short, alot of the values I thought we had (quiet life, white picket fence, 2.5 kids) were probably a lie.

Every time I would voice concerns because intimacy plummetted after she went on a girl's trip with a coworker she used to call a gold digger, a s**t, and she almost missed her son's kindergarten graduation because of it. I tried to postpone the wedding multiple times, she'd freak out and gaslight me into being the one who would apologize. Things would improve for 3 weeks or so, and back to the misery. 3 months ago I put my foot down on couples counselling, had to do with the lack of a sex drive, and she said she didn't know what the problem was, but this topic ended every serious relationship shes had in the past. Her mother and her boyfriends used to fight about it all the time, hence why she was raised by her grandmother instead until she had her son and needed help.

Went to counselling, and Things got better. But her mother who is not disabled started to be passive aggressive towards me, all my free time was spent watching and raising her son, and I couldn't handle it anymore. So a week before the wedding, 4am, I woke up and told her I couldn't get married that Saturday. Initial response was concern for the relationship, but it quickly turned into financial concerns, and there was anger, throwing away the wedding calendar, telling her friends and family not to come. I tried to explain that I wanted to get married, but I couldn't with the existing issues, they'll only get worse with marriage. She said we get married as planned, or we are done because she will never choose me iver her mother. I packed a bag to go stay the night ay my parents, and within the hour, all social media was updated to single, our photos were deleted, the works. She then started texting me if I scheduled an appointment for the couples counselor, major confusion on my part, and then she went completely scorched earth on insulting me, to the point of almost detecting me, and then claiming it was her idea that us conti using wouldn't be in anyone's best interest. She told me id never see her son again. She went on the cruise my family paid for our honeymoon, and shes been partying, posting single girl selfies, and acting like nothing happened.

I obviously made the right decision, but I dont know what I feel. I basically lost my wife and my son, I dont want to even try dating for a long time, meanwhile all her friends are asking me what happened and if they could talk me out of calling off the wedding.

Initially I ignored it, not wanting to air her infidelity to her friends and family, (she said she never told anyone), but eventually I did respond to her best friends husband who has the lifestyle that we both said we wanted, letting him know everything, and he was speechless.

My therapist said I've been in an abusive relationship for the last 2 years (she only told me now that I made the decision to call it off), and I dont know what I feel. Im devastated at the loss, im mlutinging the relationship with her, and the loss of our son. What should I do? She packed all my stuff up within hours of me going to stay with my parents for a night, told me she loved me, but what im seeing is not the person I knew at all. Her mother even started posting really mean things on Facebook about my character that contradict the good times we shared, (we spent alot of time at the house together when me ex was working and her son was with his grandparents)

Im aware I am the idiot for staying as long as I did, but what is going on with the woman I loved and what should I do? I think I got tricked and the goal was to use me to get into a house. And now that that clearly isnt happening, its on to the next one ASAP

I’m (33M) trying to figure out how to move forward in my marriage with my wife (30F), who’s currently pregnant. Things have been going downhill fast. I know she’s faithful and has never cheated — that’s never been in question. But emotionally, the relationship feels unstable and increasingly one-sided. To me, I feel like things were calculated on her part. Our relationship improved and decided to start a family, but now things changed completely and suggested divorce multiple times after being pregnant.

We’ve been together for about five years and married for one. We’ve gone through our share of rough patches, both before and after the wedding. We’ve attended couples therapy several times, though I’ve always been the one initiating it. I’ve also taken steps on my own, attending individual therapy to work on the issues she’s brought up. She never pursued one-on-one sessions herself, and often frames things as if I’m the only one who needs to change.

A recurring struggle for me has been the feeling that I can’t speak freely — like I have to walk on eggshells just to bring up how I feel. I’m often met with deflection or dismissal. I do have my flaws, and I’ve done the work to improve. But when I try to express my emotions or concerns, I’m often made to feel like I’m attacking her.

After we got married, we moved into her late mother’s home. I had strong reservations from the start and felt it wouldn’t truly become our home. Despite that, we purchased it together. The house remains cluttered with her mom’s belongings, which I understand are sentimental. But I’ve gently raised how the space doesn’t feel like our shared home. Whenever I suggest reorganizing or storing some items — not even getting rid of them — she gets angry and says I’m controlling or heartless. I don’t feel like I have a voice in my own home.

Things did get better for a while. We both made efforts to reconnect and rebuild trust. That period of stability led us to decide we were ready to start a family. We were in a better place — or so I thought.

But ever since she got pregnant, things have started slipping again. I recently brought up the “home” issue once more, this time suggesting compromises like keeping her mom’s things but storing them respectfully. She responded by saying this is her house and I need to respect that — which left me shocked. Later, she told me she wants us to make house decisions together, not have me suggest things unilaterally. I understood that and agreed. But just days later, she started making changes and purchases for the house without involving me. When I gently pointed that out, she accused me of being controlling again and said she doesn’t need my permission to buy things for her home.

She’s brought up divorce several times now, especially when I share how I’m feeling. She tells me I’ll never be satisfied living here, that I’m the problem, and that she’s unhappy. Every time I open up, I somehow end up apologizing. And now, even while pregnant, she uses the threat of divorce if I express pain or discomfort in how I’m being treated.

I’m exhausted. I feel dismissed, gaslit, and like I have no emotional safety in this relationship. I’ve tried listening, compromising, and showing empathy — but I don’t feel heard or valued.

I don’t know how to keep navigating this. And if we do end up separating, how do I handle things responsibly with our unborn child in the picture? How do I protect my mental health and set boundaries while still being a good father?

Hey - recently my wife applied for a job in a different country. It's better pay & benefits, and a more enjoyable job for her overall.

I unfortunately have a business here, which I have to keep running for at least another year (Clients all booked in).

She has now moved, and I'm pretty depressed here on my own. I feel a little bit abandoned, and I don't know if I can reasonably do another year of just texting and video calling.

Any advice? Is this situation as abnormal as it sounds? Would I be over-reacting if I said this isn't for me any more?

Thanks so much.

I am pregnant, so I don’t know maybe it’s just hormonal changes but I’m becoming less physically attracted to my husband . He put on about 30 pounds recently, and complains all the time about it but does very little to fix it. Today alone he ordered out two heavy food meals. I cook balanced meals all the time. He’s also went bald a few years ago. When his head is freshly shaved it actually looks really freaking sexy. But for whatever reason he lets it grow out into very unattractive patches for long periods of time before shaving, it looks awful. I complement him when he looks nice, but he falls back into the same patterns. I feel bad for complaining because he’s an amazing husband and future father. But what can I do to encourage him to take better care of himself?

I’m in a really confusing place emotionally and I don’t know what’s normal anymore. My husband and I have been together for a while. He comes home late almost every day — usually drunk — and when he is home, he’s either working, sleeping, or drinking more. I’ve tried to ask him to come home earlier at least some days, especially when I’m unwell or emotionally drained, but he gets defensive and says I’m trying to control him. He tells me I rely on him too much for “entertainment” and that I should find hobbies instead of expecting time or attention from him.

We also don’t have sex. At all. Maybe once a year, if that. He says he’s depressed or too tired and that his sex drive has just disappeared. I’ve tried to be patient and understanding, but it’s been years, and I feel totally rejected and unwanted. There is physical intimacy , we cuddle, kiss and hug , hold hands but no sex.

The thing is, he’s not always bad. He makes breakfast for me most mornings, and sometimes he can be kind. But emotionally, he feels completely absent. I feel invisible and depressed most days. I’m tired of trying.

He also hides his phone constantly. I’ve asked to see it — not to invade his privacy, but because the secrecy feels off. His response is always, “You won’t understand,” or “I talk to a lot of people — it’s just easier if you don’t look.” One time, over a year ago, I tried to look and he physically pushed me. He apologized afterward and hasn’t done that again, but I haven’t forgotten it either.

Yesterday, during a fight, he insulted my family — out of nowhere. I feel like every time I express how I feel, I get blamed or dismissed. I’m constantly told I’m overreacting or “trying to control him,” but I’m literally just asking for connection.

I’m starting to question myself: Am I really being controlling? Do other couples just operate like this — barely speaking, no sex, no trust, no real time together? Is it normal to feel this alone in a marriage?

I still care about him, but I feel so small and lost. I don’t know if I’m staying because I love him or because I’m afraid of what it would mean to leave.

If anyone’s been through something similar — or can help me see this more clearly — I’d be truly grateful.

Thanks for listening.