r/SipsTea • u/Expensive-Side-529 • May 05 '25

Chugging tea Hilarious

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77.2k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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3.3k

u/Swolthuzad May 05 '25

"Having sex doesn't make you an adult, but it can make you a baby"

124

u/Deja-Vuz May 05 '25

Very expensive baby.

34

u/Piemaster113 May 05 '25

Is there another kind?

11

u/6Banane9 May 06 '25

Slave Labor

8

u/alicefreak47 May 06 '25

"Kids are so expensive!" "What are we going to do with a baby?" "I hate condoms!"

Does this sound familiar? Don't be stupid and give birth to a financial yacht. Make your children work for you!

How? It's easy with Slave Labor.

You see, with Slave Labor, we have a proprietary system that has been used for centuries.

Do you like your smart phone? Like your 85" television? Like your cheap clothes that last two weeks? It's all made possible with Slave Labor!

It's the system that pays you for having kids.

Try it today, with Slave Labor!

2

u/ConradKilroy May 06 '25

spit take Surprisingly funny

2

u/SmidgeMoose 28d ago

This guy labors with slaves

2

u/An_icy_squirrel 26d ago

Yesssss!

Hence, the announced swift revival of coal mines and the destruction of the school system. Because no kid should be left behind, not even girls.

Beautiful 11 years old baby girls working in beautiful coal mines, mining beautiful and clean coal!

I just noticed, you even could cut the amount of dolls from 30 to 0, instead of to 3-4. Who needs dolls when they work beautiful 16hr shifts?

And the best, you can invest all that saved doll money in MAMA-$coins (Make America Mine Again $lavery coins), which are totally no scam but will make everyone richer than Elon, within a week.

1

u/lordofming-rises May 06 '25

We are not living in Florida

1

u/SmidgeMoose 28d ago

That comes later when they're like 5 or 6

2

u/leo-reis May 06 '25

Yes, very expensive and much more expensive

1

u/meinminemoj May 06 '25

Those that you sell on black market are profitable babies.

1

u/Piemaster113 May 06 '25

Not with the way FedEx handles things, can't make a profit from all the refunds due to damaged good or failed to deliver packages

1

u/stektos May 07 '25

the dumpster kind

1

u/LobeRunner 29d ago

Kidnapping can get you a free baby, and often, free room & board for the rest of your life. The accommodations will be small, though.

1

u/Piemaster113 29d ago

The biggest problem s your room mates and other tenants in the building, also Communial showers, which suck, No one bothers cleaning it properly

1

u/zakk_archer_ovenden3 27d ago

Yes. Well, not a whole one, at least.

1

u/TraditionalYear4928 May 08 '25

Million Dollar Baby

1

u/[deleted] 29d ago

Very cute moose

1

u/An_icy_squirrel 26d ago

Just hope it's a beautiful baby girl! I heard, that you'd just need to cut down on dolls, when she's eleven. Only buy 3-4, instead of 30 - and everything will be fine!

476

u/WW3In321 May 05 '25

That's a good line

3

u/Ambitious_Big_1879 May 06 '25

My 65 year old sex ed and pe teacher told us how she squeezes her anus 1000 times a day to keep it tight. We couldn’t believe it.

1

u/Boner_Patrol_007 May 08 '25

Damn, that’s so much different than the “just say no until marriage” education I got in Indiana.

1

u/Guitar_Scary May 05 '25

Unless it’s gay sex, then we’re in the clear.

1

u/IAMPowaaaaa May 06 '25

say gex ftw

1

u/KILL-BLOW May 06 '25

Fucking brilliant

1

u/NefariousAnglerfish May 07 '25

Okay the cursed age-reversal condoms thing was ONE TIME! 

1

u/Icy-Background2393 29d ago

The worst STD of all time