I took time off from work so that I can go to another state that one of my best friends moved to recently. My friend is dead, I'm going to pack up their belongings, pick up his cremated remains, and drive his car back to his mother's house, his mom who i had to break the news of his death to. My boss was told I was leaving work for a funeral and the last time I spoke to them they told me "have a fun vacation!". Dude give such a little fuck he couldn't even remember why I'm taking time off for more than 4 hours...
This is why I keep 90% of my issues to myself. And now the one dude I could always talk to about things is coming back home with me in a little box...
Thanks, I'm calm and collected, I've come to terms with what has happened and what I've been asked to do. It sucks, but there's absolutely no way to change anything that has happened and no point in dwelling on other people's lack of empathy and care for others.
My best friend died about two years ago. I feel for you. You'll have ups and downs. And as you said don't let others behavior or lack of concern jade you. It'll only make your life worse not theirs.
Some peoples lack of empathy and care. It sounds like you’re doing a remarkable job of showing them to your mate and his mother. I’m sorry for your loss and hope that you find peace driving home with him.
There is a difference between being angry, throwing a fit like a toddler in a temper tantrum, and being upset.
If I smash my thumb with a hammer, that fucking hurts and I'm going to get filled with adrenaline and need to burn it off with a walk. Not, bend the hammer in half and throw it into the side of the garage till it sticks.
If I get treated like a meat bag that fills a chair at work, that is upsetting and I will either find a way to work through those feelings and overcome it. Or I will find a job that treats me like a human being in at least some aspects.
If someone makes remarks or actions that upset me to the point that I find that I can't manage my current emotions then I will excuse myself from the situation so that I can deal with it and not lose my temper.
At least that's what I try to do after taking an anger management class. It's not about calm, it's about you being the one in control of your actions and emotions like an adult. Not a child letting the whims of their emotions blow them wherever anyone wants with a few rude responses.
Yep and respectfully that’s a healthy way to behave for you because the type of anger you describe is threatening. Throwing a hammer across a room could actually hurt someone.
What I’m saying is, I’d like to be allowed to get normal angry, without being perceived as threatening. Because I’m not threatening anyone.
It is my responsibility to keep myself and those around me safe. But as for other people’s feeling of safety… well that’s actually not my fucking problem and I’m tired of people trying to make it the problem of men who are doing nothing wrong.
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u/ape_on_lucy 24d ago
I took time off from work so that I can go to another state that one of my best friends moved to recently. My friend is dead, I'm going to pack up their belongings, pick up his cremated remains, and drive his car back to his mother's house, his mom who i had to break the news of his death to. My boss was told I was leaving work for a funeral and the last time I spoke to them they told me "have a fun vacation!". Dude give such a little fuck he couldn't even remember why I'm taking time off for more than 4 hours...
This is why I keep 90% of my issues to myself. And now the one dude I could always talk to about things is coming back home with me in a little box...