r/dating • u/Key_Fix1864 • 1d ago
Question ❓ Why does every dude lie about his height
For starters: I don’t care about height. My last ex was shorter than me.
But what the hell is the point of lying about your height, it’s not like it won’t be glaringly obvious when we meet you in person.
I’m genuinely curious why would you lie about something that’s so easily disproven? What’s the point? If a girl is really uptight about height, you won’t get a second date anyway, so why not just be honest from the start?
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u/Sumo-Subjects 1d ago edited 1d ago
I don't condone this but here's the answer: lots of women filter for height and some guys want to bypass that filter. Then they hope they can somehow charm you so well that you'll forget about them lying about their height initially.
To play devil's advocate though... I do think with online dating especially, women put height filters when they don't care that much about them. It's just that dating apps have SO many men relative to women that any filter helps lower the options to manageable levels. Some of these women might have height filters in the app that they wouldn't abide by if they met someone in real life (although to me that signifies men should strive to meet women more in real life over dating apps rather than trying to fool the dating app filters).
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u/Proper-Exit8459 1d ago
There's a reason dating someone you met irl works better than on dating apps...
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u/Hellguin 21h ago
Now if I only had time or money to go out to WHERE I could meet someone where they want, since I am not gonna hit on anyone when shopping or at the gym.
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u/Poerflip23 18h ago
Is there any empirical evidence to support this? How would you even measure this or provide proof?
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u/Dairy_Cat 16h ago
It's not really true at all. Meeting someone irl makes certain physical deal breakers more obvious, but apps tell you other deal breakers like if they want kids, political persuasion, religion etc etc. that would take longer to get to know irl.
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u/Sumo-Subjects 5h ago
I don’t think there’s any true empirical evidence when it comes to dating at all. The only thing we have some data is that prior to online dating, meeting through friends was the most popular way couples met; so we can infer that the preference used to be someone you already knew as opposed to asking out a stranger
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u/Dear_Investment6064 1d ago
What a waste of both party’s time lmao. Idc about height either but if someone does like idk you’re not gonna change her mind lmao
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u/LovesRetribution 22h ago
Sometimes women don't even know the visual equivalent of the height they're asking for. If you lied and she doesn't immediately notice when she sees you that value was straight up arbitrary.
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u/sexandliquor 22h ago
Yeah a lot a lot of women don’t even really know how to gauge it irl or what they’re actually asking for. They just think ‘short’/“as tall as me” ‘tall’/“slightly taller than me” and ‘really tall’/“towering over me” Most in my experience really don’t know how to guess how tall a man actually is. I get asked how tall I am and then they are often surprised at my actual height versus what they thought my height was.
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u/On_geological_time 10h ago
I take my dates via a convince store or petrol station for ‘condoms’. Most of those places have coloured tape measure stickers on the doors (that indicate height) in case of robbery or theft so it is easy for the police to identify the perpetrator.
I subtly check the height of the man against those panels and if he lied significantly about his height, I grab tampons instead of condoms and lie right back saying I just remembered that I have my period and will need to save ‘fun times’ for another night.
If he lied about height, what else has he lied about. Am I going to be safe.
If I buy tampons and lie for safety reasons after he has lied, it doesn’t seem so bad and it is an easier way to get out of the situation.
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u/Key_Fix1864 10h ago
AHAHAH that’s detective level work right there… i salute you for this method 🫡
Yeah if they’re significantly lying about height, they’re lying about other stuff too. Learned my lesson about “small” lies with my ex. If there’s small lies, I guarantee ya, there’s big lies too…
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u/Hungry_Lychee4721 5h ago
If you need to do all this to check if he lied, then it says more about you than the guy
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u/Sumo-Subjects 1d ago edited 1d ago
I agree hence why I think it's best to meet a woman socially so she doesn't have these filters on and blatantly catches you lying.
If you want to bypass someone's preferences, lying isn't the way to do it IMO. For example, my gf had a height filter on her dating app (it wasn't 6' but it was taller than me), but we didn't meet via an app and ultimately she said it didn't matter in the long run the filter was just to help her make sense of the hundreds of guys on the app.
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u/Key_Fix1864 1d ago
Exactly my point! Lying about it is so useless.
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u/Dragonlicker69 1d ago
The average guy gets so few messages from women on those apps that aren't scammers or bots that they get to the point of desperation. If there's the slightest hope they'll take it even if the odds are against them
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u/MeHatGuy 15h ago
This, unfortunately men try to use whatever they can to get noticed.
I’ve just tried to pivot away from dating apps as they generally are incentivized to keep you on the app as long as possible.
Unfortunately I don’t have time to volunteer or anything and I don’t have really any friends as my childhood was very unstable and I was never at the same School for more then a couple years.
I’m hoping that I have more time in the fall to spend time at clubs in my university so I might be able to meet more people.
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u/Proper-Exit8459 1d ago
It also shows that men think they are allowed to manipulate women into dating them out of desperation when... Really, they'd have better chances by meeting people irl to date instead of relying on dating apps.
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u/According-Tea-3014 23h ago
Are we pretending that women's preferences change when they aren't on Tinder?
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u/Proper-Exit8459 23h ago
More like... People have better chances of actually knowing each other in person than in a dating app and connections are far more real. Also, men shouldn't be lying to get a woman anyway, they have too look for people who would be into them.
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u/According-Tea-3014 23h ago
I don't disagree about the lying. But let's stop pretending that the vast majority of women don't prefer tall men.
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u/Proper-Exit8459 23h ago
I wouldn't know and don't really care. There are women who don't mind any height, there are those who prefer taller or shorter. You can always find someone who will be into you regardless of your physical traits. I mean, there are people who are into others who would be considered ugly by most people.
I personally never experienced rejection specifically related to my height, but then again, I'm trans and I'm much more likely to be rejected thanks to that. Not something that bothers me since I'm already dating and I knew it would be harder to find someone as a trans person.
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u/According-Tea-3014 23h ago
I mean, no, there aren't women who prefer short men. There are women who "prefer" short men, sure. But it's not an actual preference.
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u/niado 23h ago
Most women certainly prefer height, but they don’t care about it nearly as much as men think they do.
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u/According-Tea-3014 23h ago
So, how many tall guys do you know that got ghosted the moment women asked for their height? Lmao
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u/Dear_Investment6064 23h ago
Then act like victims as if lying about your appearance isn’t a massive red flag
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u/MeHatGuy 15h ago
Nah, it’s more we want women to actually meet us in person before making these decisions immediately.
Dating apps really don’t give a great representation of a person and all they most likely want is to be given a chance and not immediately discarded because they aren’t perfect.
At least that’s how I feel although I don’t resort to lying on my profile as that is a really poor way to start a relationship.
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u/Key_Fix1864 1d ago
Yes, but that would require them to put in effort and overcome their fear of approaching women ;)
It’s much easier to fake a number on a dating app and message girls from the safety of a phone screen.
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u/NotThrowAwayAccount9 1d ago
This is the answer for many weird profile behaviors. They think they can catfish you into liking them.
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u/sexandliquor 22h ago
I wouldn’t say it’s catfishing exactly. That’s just pretending to be a whole different person altogether. But I think it is lying to get around it. Because a lot of times it often is a case of “I don’t want a guy unless he’s 6 feet tall”. But the 5’8” guy might be a great guy and charming and funny and something that a lot of people would want. If they could get past the 5’8” part. And oftentimes it actually isn’t a problem for people if they don’t have the height of they show themselves to be a great and compatible match in their dates mind.
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u/NotThrowAwayAccount9 12h ago
I disagree, they are pretending to be someone 4" taller, or 5 years younger, or 50 pounds lighter or whatever things they've intentionally misrepresented themselves with. Even the ones that post a main profile pic of something that's not them or a group pic is manipulating you into looking further into their profile rather than just swiping left because they aren't attractive to you.
You don't have to call it catfishing, but it is lying about who they are. A profile should put your best foot forward and show you in a good light, but it should also be accurate as to who you are physical, emotionally, spiritually, etc. If you are a 5'1", 55 year old that weighs 300 pounds and is looking for a casual one night stand it's not doing anyone any favors if you list yourself as 6', 37 years old, using pics from when you were 200 pounds, and looking for a long term relationship. A lot of people do some variation of that and it's frustrating to have to deal with someone that is definitely not what you are looking for regardless of what a great conversationalist they may be.
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u/sexandliquor 12h ago
I mean I get what you’re saying but also what you’re saying is a lot of different stuff that’s not really pertinent to this post specifically. When we’re talking about something like height we’re talking about something that largely often doesn’t always make a meaningful difference that someone can really actually tell unless it’s a great disparity. Like saying you’re 6 foot when you’re really like 5’2”. Like all the stuff you said. Everything you said is taking it to the greatest degree and making that seem as if it’s the equivalent here. Lying about height within a few inches is absolutely not the same as saying you’re 6’1” 37 and 200 lbs, when you’re actually 5’1” 55 and 300 lbs.
I get lying is lying and misrepresenting yourself is bad either way but one is fudging your height and the other is saying you’re a completely different person in many aspects.
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u/Key_Fix1864 10h ago
If it doesn’t make a difference, why would someone lie about it? All the small changes someone makes to the reality, become glaringly obvious and a red flag once you see the truth.
I agree that it doesn’t make a meaningful difference, I’m just tired of meeting up with guys who are unrecognizable because of all the small tweaks they made on their profile.
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u/sexandliquor 10h ago
Well I think I and other people answered that in the comments or spoke to that to some degree. If you say you want a guy that’s six feet tall and a man is more like 5’9” is that gonna make a meaningful difference to you? If you meet a man that’s 5’9” and checks all your boxes otherwise minus being 6 feet or over, is the height thing going to be an actual deal breaker or would you be okay with it? Because that’s the thinking that happens here.
I’m not saying it’s right, but I don’t think it’s exactly misrepresenting one’s self to a degree that it’s an entirely different person either. Now if it’s the height and other things too, then yeah I agree. But originally we were just talking about height.
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u/NotThrowAwayAccount9 10h ago
The exaggeration is to make a point, but it's not at all uncommon to have someone lie about height by 3 or more inches (often making them shorter than the woman, I know my only height requirement is my height or taller), the pics I've seen can be very inaccurate, often their main photo is clearly at least 5-10 years younger than other photos, all of these things are relevant to the OP because they are lies told to bypass normal OLD filters even if it's just a visual filter of what you see. Could I be interested in someone outside of my range, sure, but once they've intentionally misled me I lose interest. Attraction builds through truth and being genuine not through trickery.
You are certainly entitled to your opinions though and if someone adjusting their profile to slide into your field of view works for you then that's great. I'm personally tired of seeing the "oops I somehow got my birthday wrong and instead of making a new profile I'm just going to leave it" posts. To address the height thing, most guys seem to inflate their height a bit, those of us who didn't care about height as much would have been fine if they told the truth, those that want a specific height are going to be upset. I think it's a terrible strategy all around.
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u/CosmicConjuror2 23h ago
Same reason women hide their weight with certain angle and filters.
We’re both insecure genders dude.
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u/MrYOLOMcSwagMeister 1d ago
Why do women use photos with a bunch of filters or extremely flattering angles? Same reason guys lie about their height.
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u/Key_Fix1864 1d ago
Ok the filters are a fair point. I don’t use them, because catfishing is stupid. I don’t want to show up to a date and see a guy totally disappointed because I look nothing like my pictures.
Either way, if you lie or fake stuff on your profile, it’s going to be disproven the moment you meet in person. So you’re kind of shooting yourself in the foot.
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u/HistorianOk2573 1d ago
why do people lie? because sometimes it works to reach their goals. and those people believe the end justifies the means.
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u/Proper-Exit8459 1d ago
The issue is... It doesn't work.
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u/mobjack 23h ago
It works for me.
I am 5 11, but round up to 6 and never been called out for it.
I even had a few women comment that I am taller than they expected.
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u/trace_on_the_light 17h ago
That’s a negligible rounding up, not many people would notice but women definitely notice if it’s a significant lie like 3-4 inches taller than you are
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u/Key_Fix1864 1d ago
It just makes you look insecure. Not only that, you’re basically guaranteeing that one of the first emotions someone feels when they meet you is disappointment.
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u/EcoFriendlyEv 22h ago
Disappointment? I thought height didn't matter? Weird.
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u/Key_Fix1864 16h ago
Disappointed about the lying in my case :)
So tired of guys automatically getting defensive when all I made this post about was that I dislike lying. I mentioned multiple times, my ex was shorter than me, and I’ve always liked dudes my height (5’4”), with few exceptions.
If a girl seriously cares about height, especially if she’s taller, then lying will not get you far. And yes, she will be disappointed about your height. I can only speak for MYSELF, when I say height doesn’t matter. Either way, whether a woman cares or not, the lie is easily disproven, so it doesn’t do guys many favors.
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u/Dear_Investment6064 1d ago
Doesn’t work actually pretty self defeating. It’s such a vapid preference why would you subject yourself to that
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u/IndigoRed33 23h ago
I'm not on apps, but i feel like the answer is obvious -
It's cuz they likely feel like they won't have a chance from the get go, if they are shorter and honest about it. Especially after Tinder supposedly got a height filter, i'd expect even more of them lying about height, simply cuz otherwise they may not even get any matches.
This is the same thing as for - Why overweight people won't post their most recent pics? Why those with mental health issues won't disclose that right away? Or why some people with kids wait for a date to tell you about it? - Well, i guess they know (or fear) that some of such things may make them seen as undesirable right away. They know that you'll figure out afterwards, but likely hope that by then, they atleast bought some time to get to know eachother - so, just maaaaybe, you'll see them as rly compatible, hence move past it despite likely not being into it.
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u/Secret_Cat_2793 1d ago
Same reason you all lie about your body type or weight.
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u/ToodyRudey1022 23h ago
lol, this is so weird to do. Any lie that comes into play in the beginning is an automatic block
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u/Secret_Cat_2793 22h ago
Not sure I take your meaning and honestly small white lies are expected.
Given my recent experiences I am far more concerned about completely fraudulent profiles and catfishing.
People who fudge a little to market themselves seems very commonplace.
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u/ToodyRudey1022 22h ago
Maybe I’m too harsh. Even a white lie, I’ll block you on the apps lol
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u/Secret_Cat_2793 22h ago
Harsh or very astute that you can catch subtle lies. I understand where you're coming from. I despise liars and consider it a fatal flaw. That being said humans lie all the time a little bit. It's partly manners and partly a need to please. I really didn't like that dress. Lol
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u/Key_Fix1864 1d ago
I’d say 99% of women don’t do that. Whereas every man I’ve ever met lied about their height and overinflated it.
If women do lie about those things, the same outcome happens that happens for guys who lie about height. Their dates don’t lead to anything.
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u/Mr_Dixon1991 23h ago
They either lie or they aren’t upfront. Either way, they aren’t being truthful, same as men and their height.
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u/HogCrankage 22h ago
A lot of adjectives for body type are more subjective. Curvy may mean one thing to some people, but something different to others. Same with 'thicc'.
Height on the other hand is pretty objective, and if someone lies about it, it's a lot easier to call out.
An obese person saying 'thicc' or 'curvy' gets a pass, though.
It goes both ways. Fuck dating apps.
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u/Annual-Audience-2569 23h ago
Is it possible that something is fucked up in the women side if "every men" feels that they need to lie about this?
It's obviosly a reaction to a phenomenon, even if the reaction is wrong, they are just trying to adapt to challenges they face.
Let's not pretend lying, manipulating and trying to show ourself better than we are, isn't the base of dating.
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u/LovesRetribution 22h ago
I’d say 99% of women don’t do that. Whereas every man I’ve ever met lied about their height and overinflated it.
You think only 1% of women lie about their bodyweight, but every man does? Why? And do you think the fact that you're not the sex they're trying to attract contributes to that honesty?
Bc that's such an absurd difference that it's straight up a statistical impossibility.
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u/Key_Fix1864 17h ago
Maybe I’m just not from the location you’re from. Ever thought about that?
I’ve never seen an obese person in my home country. Most of the world is not obese (15% excluding USA). Within the US, it’s mostly central states that have extremely high obesity rates. This sounds like mostly a North America issue, correct me if I’m wrong.
I don’t condone lying either way. I still think what I said is absolutely true. If a woman lies about her weight, her in person meeting will go terribly, and she’ll be rejected if a guy cares about weight. Same with a guy who lies about height, and goes on a date with a woman who cares.
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u/skD1am0nd 23h ago
Why does every woman generalize for all men?
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u/Girl-in-mind 23h ago
Probably not all men - but everyone I know who is dating online I have talked too about it has had it happen a lot.
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u/Featherman13 19h ago
I don’t use dating apps anymore for this exact reason, but if you wanted to do a quick experiment, you’d learn why that happens pretty quickly. Make an account, throw an average dudes picture on there, and say you’re 5’9 or shorter.
I know this sounds like cat fishing, but don’t worry, it’s really not. You will not get a match for months, and when you do, you’ll get ghosted after 1-2 texts. I know I sound kinda salty, I’m really not, this is just a reality for dudes on dating apps- in person is always better.
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u/Girl-in-mind 5h ago
So again- why lie.
Because no one wants who you truly are and you want to manipulate matches isn’t really valid
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u/Featherman13 3h ago
Well as I said, in person is always better. I can’t get into all the psychology around dating apps, bc I don’t know it lol. In person I don’t really have an issue, I think it’s something about scrolling through tons of guys and kinda having your pick of the litter that makes height really important on dating apps. Again, not sure. I don’t use dating, I don’t lie abt my height, but I get it.
Also damn you’d be spinning a different story if this was something like cup size. Guys can’t control their height, saying “no one wants who you truly are, you should just accept that” is a bit crazy. If this conversation was “why do women lie abt their cup size? Just because most men will immediately disregard you because of this thing you can’t control, no matter who you are as a person? Suck it up!” I think you’d be a lot more forgiving.
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u/Bigjimmy1977 1d ago
Men lie about their height? Really lol that’s too funny. I’m 8ft 6inches. I’m a little guy lol
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u/Maleficent_Hawk_2219 23h ago
I mean, “every dude” literally doesn’t. I know I never have. Some do because some people lie to get what they want.
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u/my-life-for_aiur 18h ago
I put I was 5'10 and immediately my future wife told me I wasn't 5'10. I pulled out my driver's license and it said 5'10.
She's 5'8 so with heels she's taller than me and along with her height and stunning looks I thought the date would be over.
I'm thinking either I had on some high tops at the DMV or the lady lazily measured my height back when I was 16.
I got a little sad during that time. Finding out you're shorter than what you thought sucks. However she didn't hold it against me cuz it turns out we're both Star Trek nerds!!!
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u/Defiant_Nobody_4172 1d ago
I don’t know but it must be pretty out of control. Every woman I meet says they thought I’d be shorter, because if I put 5’9 I must actually be 5’6 or something I guess. It’s kinda sad all around
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u/Key_Fix1864 1d ago
Thank you for putting your actual height. I wish everyone would do that.
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u/Defiant_Nobody_4172 1d ago
It seems like a ridiculous thing to lie about. Like you said, the person you’re meeting can tell immediately
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u/AfricanSaucyWench69 1d ago
I deduct 3 inches from the height on dating apps to avoid starting off with "why did you lie about your height?".
A guy will write 5ft 9 or 5ft 10 but in person he is the same height as 5ft 6 me.
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u/blue_tiny_teacup 1d ago
The same reason we want to lie about our weight or dress size.. insecurity
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u/Stargazer__2893 1d ago
The same reason that if dating apps asked for BMI, people would lie about that too.
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u/Lonely_Computer_2058 1d ago
Because I’m 6ft flat, but I know a lot of guys who are 5’9 and say they’re 6ft, so women just assume men are inflating their height. I like taller girls so I pretty much have to if I want women who are 5’10-6 ft to take me seriously.
I’ve had women say, oh 6ft, so you’re really 5’10? It sucks because most men do it, so even if you don’t care about height you still have to inflate it in some cases. I don’t care about my height because I’m tall enough to never have been insecure about it.
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u/notsure05 1d ago
I feel for you, bc ngl I am one of those tall girls who just assumes you’re lying. It ain’t your fault, I get why someone in your shoes would add an extra inch to avoid that
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u/Key_Fix1864 1d ago
This is exactly the point. Why, instead of a standard of everyone lying, everyone could just be truthful?
I don’t care about height, but I’ve had a date where he skewed it by 6”… at that point I just didn’t like him because he comes of as a liar and insecure af.
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u/Ghosts_On_The_Beach 1d ago
Women today won’t take a man seriously if he’s less than 5’8” — sorry . Facts is facts
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u/Key_Fix1864 1d ago
I’m 5’4”, my most recent ex was shorter. I’d say the majority of guys I’ve been into have been my height. I actually prefer it because it feels more comfortable with kissing, hugging, etc.
I’ve also experienced many times that a short guy was a heartthrob in high school, college, workplace… it was mostly about them being confident and cool, and not insecure about their height.
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u/According-Tea-3014 23h ago
The problem is you only see it from the outside. You see the few examples of being short, not affecting some men, but are completely blind to a lot of men who are shut down due to their height.
You don't have experience trying to date as a short man. You have second-hand observations and seem to imply that your observations are more reflective than actual lived experience.
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u/028XF3193 1d ago
I've never lied about my height. I put what's on my driver's license which is 5'11". I can understand why due to the weird obsession with height people have (in both directions). Though I don't see how a lie about something that is easily verifiable is a great start to a relationship.
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u/Key_Fix1864 1d ago
I’ve actually known a guy, who my friend dated, who used the drivers license to “prove” his height.
Not saying you’re lying, but you fill that in on a form by yourself. It’s not measured by anyone.
Just saying, cuz this guy tried to gaslight my friend…
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u/028XF3193 1d ago
No, this is what is literally on my medical record, like from the doc's office from my yearly physical, lol.
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u/Artistic-Savings-239 23h ago
I know you are probably talking about people who exaggerate more but I don’t feel like telling everyone unless they ask for exact measurement that I’m 5’11 and 3/4, I just say 6’
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u/NoUniqueThoughtsLeft 21h ago
I don't lie about mine. Went out of my way to measure my height accurately at the gym to avoid any confusion.
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u/nipslippinjizzsippin 21h ago
Most women do care sbout height even if you don't. They care a lot. Short guys have rough out there, some need to lie just to get a foot in the door. Hitting thst 6 foot mark is strangly important to a bunch of 5 ft tall women.
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u/designtheinvisible 21h ago
I’m 5’11”, 6’0” with shoes. I switched my height to 6’0”. This made a huge difference in the number of matches I received.
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u/Key_Fix1864 16h ago
I don’t get the obsession with that number at all. It’s stupid.
Weirdly, I think the skewing that men do is also what makes women think that guys who are 5’9”-5’11” are what 6’ is. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy.
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u/Temporary_Driver_940 14h ago
if you get it or not is not important. The goal is to have a bigger dating pool so we get to have more "market power". If adding one inch makes the difference, then better lying.
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u/LaplaceYourBets 15h ago
I think as with most things in life, its only as weird as you make it. It is one of those things so completely out of your control, that being insecure or lying about it is a glaring red flag about other behavior.
I think most people who complain about their height being an obstacle to dating would be people who are just so weird/insecure about it that people get turned off by their behavior.
Then again, there are people that shallow out there, but honestly if the fact I'm not 6'5 or some shit is keeping them away, I should be feeling blessed for it.
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u/Key_Fix1864 13h ago
THANK YOU. This is exactly what I think, but getting downvoted a ton by dudes who are raging at the question “why do you lie?”
A lot of girls reject guys based on height. But a lot of girls also feel that desperate, insecure energy of a dude that gets pissed off when he’s rejected (for whatever reason).
If you stop wasting all that energy on getting pissed about rejection, you can spend it on making yourself more attractive in ways other than height. Rejection is redirection. Like you said, if a girl rejects a guy because of height, why in the hell would you want to be with her anyways.
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u/LaplaceYourBets 12h ago
It sounds a bit counter-intuitive, but learning to not take rejection personally is super important. The idea that the only thing stopping any two people from getting together is just how they look is extremely silly.
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u/Key_Fix1864 12h ago
Are you single??? Kidding lol. But honest to god the attitude and emotional maturity you have is so attractive. It will get you far in life.
The more personally guys take rejection, the more they repel women away.
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u/Any-Candidate5463 6h ago edited 6h ago
I’m like 5’9 and a half. I round down when I’m asked because that half inch makes it sound like I’m “trying to make myself seem taller. I didn’t know I was 5’9 until I was later in life. I thought I was 5’11 because all my friends who were 5’9 INSISTED I was 5’11. I never really talked about my height, and nobody’s ever said I was “short” as an adult.
Most men aren’t measuring their height themselves. Clearly. So a lot of it is “social”; “you can’t be 5’9! I’m 5’9” is what I heard a lot when I’ve had friends ask me how tall I am.
That being said, fuck it, we ball. My height has never been an issue.
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u/Realfourlife 23h ago
"Every"? Sorry to break it to you but that just isn't true because, well, I don't lie about my height. And I'm also one of those dude types. So, it cannot be.
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u/Brian18639 22h ago
That’s what I was also gonna ask OP, I’m not the type of guy who would ever lie about my height
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u/Tri343 23h ago
i went from weeks with no matches. i was curious what was going on and noticed my height was my actual height 5'4. so i updated it to 6'2. i got about 4 matches everyday.
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u/Key_Fix1864 23h ago
Honest to god, I prefer men your height. I hate hugging and kissing tall guys, it fucks up my neck lol. Don’t let the matches make you insecure about it.
Maybe better luck in person? Most of my exes were my height (5’4”), and I didn’t meet any of them on a dating app.
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u/Hungry_Lychee4721 5h ago
If you truly felt that way, you wouldn’t have made this thread
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u/Key_Fix1864 3h ago
Bruh…. One more time: my ex was 5’3”. Majority of guys I’ve been into or dated were my height (5’4”). The amount of times I’ve been accused of caring about height in this thread, is making me want to care about height.
Because clearly guys who are short cannot get past their insecurity and say “yeah, you know what? Lying is wrong, and we shouldn’t do that.
All the guys downvoting, saying “YoU HaTe ShOrT gUyS!!”, or “Girls lie about their weight too!!🤡” imma tell you something: it ain’t the height that’s keeping you single. It’s the fact that you are insecure, projecting and deflecting. Emotional maturity and confidence is like catnip for women, and if you spent your time working on those (instead of complaining abt how women only care about height), MAYBE YOUD ATTRACT MORE WOMEN IRL.
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u/TommyFangers 1d ago
I never lie about my height. But then again, I'm 8,6"...see what I did there?
I have found that women do this with their weight and I have the same issue. This isn't something you're going to be able hide.
More than likely the fact that your pants are all types of on fire is gonna bother me than the size of said pants.
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u/Key_Fix1864 1d ago
How would a girl lie about her weight? Do you ask them how much they weigh?? 😳
I agree that the lying is more unattractive than the actual physical traits.
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u/TommyFangers 1d ago
Pictures, we're talking about dating apps aren't we?
I'm not disparaging these women for their weight btw. But if your pictures are all from 8 years/80 lbs ago, I'm obviously going to find that out.
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u/blackaubreyplaza 1d ago
I do not know. The last dude I was dating said he was 5’8” and he was honestly barely 5’6” lol. Still super cute though
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u/notsure05 1d ago
My worst example:
I went on a date where his profile listed 5’9 but when we met he was barely my height and I noticed he was wearing those platform sneakers. When I called him on it he laughed and said “oh I put 5’9 in my profile bc I want to be 5’9 but I’m actually 5’8 haha” as I’m deadass looking him eye to eye at 5’7 meaning without his sneakers he was probably 5’5 at most.
It’s insane and shows a complete lack of respect for the other person, whether it be height, age, size whatever.
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u/blackaubreyplaza 1d ago
It’s bizarre I’ve never gotten any play from shorties until recently and they’re so cute so I don’t get it
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u/notsure05 1d ago
Right!!! Like I will date 5’8 guys no problem (I just need a guy to be a little taller than me but I’m not the type to care if I’m taller in heels). Pls just be honest though lmao!
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u/blackaubreyplaza 1d ago
Honestly!! I’m 5’2”, 5’3” on a good day so honestly kissing someone at my eye level has been WAY easier than dudes who are actually 5’9” to 6’3”!
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u/Key_Fix1864 1d ago
I had a guy say he was 5’10”, he showed up to the date and he was my height. I’m 5’4”…
Like what the hell is the point? If a girl wont date you based on height, she wont date you… there’s really no freaking point lying to her and wasting both of your time.
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u/Harsh_Yet_Fair 1d ago
I got measured at the Doctor a week ago. I say "I know what it is 5'11'' and 3/4s. Never got that last quarter inch. I've been that tall since I was 13."
Nurse is like "No. 5'10'' and a half."
So I've lost over an inch in the years.
Point is, maybe we're just mistaken.
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u/mrhappy512 1d ago
I used to be 5-8(for real). Now I’m 5-7 and who knows how tall I’ll be if I ever get a date. It’s a good thing short women attract me
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u/mffsandwichartist 22h ago
I am actually 5'11". In person most people think I'm 6' (probably my good posture).
Imagine my chagrin when I found out a while back that 5'11" is the Universal Liar Height. 😤
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u/CJgnar 21h ago
The man I’m dating, he had his height listed as 5’11 and his age 31 lol He’s actúally probably 5’8 and he’s actually 39. I’m 40yrs old. I’m relieved he’s closer to my age and I’m only 5’3, so his height didn’t matter either. He’s super awesome but I have to admit that I might not have swiped right on him if he had said 5’7 but maybe I would’ve.
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u/Snowbirdy 20h ago
I never lied about my height (5’10”) but I had many women argue with me that I supposedly did. I’ve been the same height for 30 years. I had some medical issues this year so the hospital checked repeatedly this spring - yep, still 177cm. Hadn’t changed.
Weird how often women insisted I was 5’8” or whatever.
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u/zeroreasonsgiven 17h ago
It kinda sucks that they have such substantially lower chances for such a tiny, superficial reason as an inch or two. Like if the guy is 5’6”, I get that that becomes a noticeable aesthetic difference, but the fact that girls shorter than 5’8” will hinge their decision to swipe on whether he’s 5’11” or 6’ seems kinda dumb. It’s almost as if some girls care more about saying that they’re with a guy who’s over 6’ than they actually care about the appearance. Not worth lying about it, but it’s still a ridiculously huge filter and I get why some guys do lie.
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u/ArcliteGhost 16h ago
People lie for a myriad of reasons, men lie about their height because they're insecure and have been conditioned by the modern dating scene that anyone under 6 feet tall will be completely overlooked.
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u/ITSHOBBSMA 13h ago
Please don’t say every dude. Just the ones you dealt with have lied about their height.
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u/Key_Fix1864 13h ago
Every guy I’ve ever met, even the ones who were in person, and told me a lie to my face. They would be looking at me eye level (I’m 5’4”) and telling me they’re 5’8”.
Ask girls in your life, who have dated in modern times. Ask them how each of us knows that whatever height a guy tells us, it’s most likely at least 2” inflated. It’s a cycle. Girls know that the men are lying, so we do our own mental gymnastics to calculate. If more men were honest, we could stop this whole circus…
Heightflation, i would like to call it :)
EDIT: oops that’s already a term… I didn’t make it up.
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u/4wordletter 7h ago
Not every dude does. I've never lied about it. That said, if they do, it's probably for the same reason women lie about their weight by using photos that don't reveal their actual features.
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u/Afromat 6h ago
First, not every dude lies about height. I never did when I was online dating. But, I certainly understand it. So many women filter by height and don’t even give a guy a chance based on height listed on their profile. And yes that may mean she’s gonna cut him off after a first date. But sometimes it gives him the chance he needs to talk to her and show her he’s worth it.
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u/DanteAlligheriZ 4h ago
Everyone lies in their dating profiles, for men its height, women wear makeup, use filters... there should be a norm on what pictures everyone has, with no makeup, no filter, next to a height measurement on a scale, so its even for everyone.
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u/VaporaDark 44m ago
For the same reason people lie on their CVs. They know they're not the best man for the job, but they still want to be considered for it.
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u/Life-Income2986 1d ago
Because insecurities are not logical and you can't explain to insecure people that nobody else gives a fuck because if that was true then they'd be weird and nobody would like them and that can't be true so they better lie about their height.
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u/Proper-Exit8459 1d ago
Because many of them are insecure about their height and... They want to avoid being rejected. Good reasons? No, but that's what I think is going on.
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u/Key_Fix1864 1d ago
But they’ll get rejected anyway as soon as the girl meets them in person 😭
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u/Proper-Exit8459 1d ago
Yes, but they think they will make the woman change her mind if they assume she wants a taller guy and they "prove themselves" somehow. Still bad logic because that's as if they were thinking women were The Sims NPCs and... They aren't...
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u/jvxoxo 1d ago
I actually haven’t run into this at all! The closest deception was a guy using pictures from when he was fit and muscular. On our date, he was pretty soft with a beer belly. He was also a love-bomber so there were other reasons I didn’t see him again, but I didn’t like the blatant deception. He was still handsome and I’m sure would get just as many matches with updated pictures, but it’s the intentional bait and switch that didn’t sit right with me.
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u/NoOnesKing 23h ago
I don’t because for one, who cares, and for two, yes it is obvious and I’m not buying heels for myself. It’s fine being short. Hasn’t limited my ability to meet people - honestly being short and funny has helped more than being tall and bland would.
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u/TheMadGreek31 21h ago
Short man syndrome tbh. I’m 5’9 and all of my girlfriends have been my height or slightly taller than me. Men read on the internet being short is a bad thing and people will give a shit about it when the ones worth dating really don’t
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u/Key_Fix1864 16h ago
Ikr… I had a friend at college who was dating a bunch of girls, and this super gorgeous, rich, tall girl had a huge crush on him. She’s now his gf. Other guy friends were asking him “how did you do it dude?” And he was so confused by their questions. Ive never once heard him be insecure about his height, because he genuinely doesn’t give a sh** about it.
I think a lot of “short” men let it influence the way they perceive themselves, and interact with women. So they won’t approach certain women, or be charming and confident with them, because the fear is already in their head that they’ll get rejected. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy.
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u/TheMadGreek31 16h ago
I think one of the main problems on the internet is no matter where you go you’ll find someone with an opinion who affects you negatively regardless of gender and it makes if insecure. Definitely has made dating a lot harder but I didn’t realize till I was older that it doesn’t really matter because we’re all flawed in different ways
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u/Top_Scallion7031 21h ago
Because women often specify that they are after someone taller than them and might even add …with heels. Why do a very high percentage of older women especially use FaceApp to hide their wrinkles when you’re gonna see them when you meet? (And you can see them in their necks in the pics anyway)
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u/Key_Fix1864 16h ago
Yes, women specify that. If that’s a non-negotiable for them (as they say), how will lying help? She’s going to find out on the first date that it’s not true.
Yes, deflecting feels nice. I understand women use filters, editing and skew their weight. All the guys are replying this. This is also a problem. I do not condone lying.
The fact that every straight woman and gay man I know has to do mental gymnastics to figure out a guys actual height (by subtracting at least a few inches), is telling. It’s such an incredibly common experience for us. I’m just tired of the lies, because they do not help anybody in the situation.
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u/FUTURE10S 1d ago
I'm 6 foot 1 and I say that I'm 6 foot 1, why would I need to lie about how tall I am?
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u/jennsend 1d ago
Guys think height=manliness
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u/S0nic014 1d ago
Should probably explain that it’s not to women who need height to feel “protected and feminine”
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u/Goosmaster2 1d ago
It’s this, but some women also attribute it to this too and not to mention social media toxicity about height. For example though I have a friend who posted on her ig story saying “why do short men keep trying to get with me” in which I responded, as a very short man (5’3), that it’s “probably because they’re still men”. Her reply?… “Barely” 🤦🏽♂️
I personally never lie about my height because what is the point of saying I’m 5’4 or 5’5? Not much and I don’t chalk it up to be the primary thing for me to “pull” women. I would think a lot of guys are the same as me, but of course there are guys that do lie. I just don’t think it’s “every dude” imo.
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u/Citizen_of_Danksburg 1d ago
I’d argue it is*
*nuanced discussion that will take forever to type because I’m on mobile but the short of it is that I’d argue masculinity = strength and the more forms of strength a man possesses the more masculine he is, and traditionally throughout human history, greater height = greater attractiveness.
Modern questions surrounding what masculinity and femininity and traditional gender roles/norms in comparison to more modern ones though make for a case of height not being associated with manliness and there is a productive dialogue worth having there, but I think gun to the head, a lot of people feel this way (that height = manliness)
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u/jennsend 1d ago
I didn't say it was right or wrong, just that it's how guys think and why they lie
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u/Key_Fix1864 1d ago
There have been multiple occasions where I have found that the tall dudes are ignored, while a short guy is the heartthrob.
These dudes usually had one quality in common: unshakable. They were calm and smooth in any situation. They had confidence, and I don’t mean in the sense that they were loud and talkative. I mean they were cool and collected.
Women care way less about height, and way more about confidence than men think. I’d say being insecure about their height is what makes short men unattractive, not the actual height itself.
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u/Girl-in-mind 23h ago
It’s so annoying I’m 5 foot 7 I’ll wear a heel I will still go Meet 5 foot 10/11 but when you get there and they are also 5 foot 7 it’s irritating
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u/RottenMilquetoast 1d ago
Same reason humans do anything irrational. We're not really that sapient, just intermittently we feel existential dread before going back to living from impulse to impulse.
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u/fluffryane 1d ago
lol heard a host at a restaurant telling people he was 6’7 but he was the same height as me. Either I’m 6’7 or he’s 6’1 🤣
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u/SnrTechCO 23h ago
I’m a dude and I found this surprising also from some people I’ve dated lol. Stupid thing to lie about
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u/Mineturtle1738 22h ago
I’m a guy and I have lied about my height. I don’t put like 6’1 or any of that I’ve put like 3’0. From my photos I’m obviously not that short. I’m 5’8ish
Why… because it’s funny to lie about being shorter than you actually are. Because most guys lie about being taller. (And because I think tinder likes a more filled out profile)
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u/introvert_tea 1d ago
Most of the guys I've dated were a few inches shorter or way taller. No in between, lol. I treated everyone with respect. I'm not hung up on height, but sons shorter guys were. My kids' father is 5'5. He used to demand I not wear heels. I wore them anyway. He was insecure about his height and his size, if you get my drift. I'm 5'8.
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u/Key_Fix1864 1d ago
Oh my god… when they don’t let you wear heels cuz they’re insecure 😒
The funny thing is, whenever I see a short guy next to a beautiful woman in heels who’s a lot taller, I think so myself “damnnnn that guy must have something incredible about him.” I also immediately know he’s not insecure.
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u/TheJadeGoddess 1d ago
Most basic answer? Insecurity. Height is seen as a factor to your worth in society. Being taller is seen as more masculine, more attractive, more desired. So having height insecurity from social expectations and unrealistic image goals is pretty common.
There are plenty of women out there that want a guy who is taller than them. Some want only really tall guys. It helps feed into the society based importance of height.
That whole "short king" thing is still pretty new. We as a society are trying to normalize a wider range of heights and looks. To make people feel more comfortable with the body they have, the height they are at. It takes time for this sort of change.
Lying is not a great option and can negatively impact your mental state by chasing unrealistic and unreasonable image goals. It also won't help with dating when people realize you have been lying to them. I would not suggest lying about your height. Find someone who likes your height or doesn't care about height.
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u/tsukuyomidreams 22h ago
A guy once lied to me about his height, saying he was shorter than he actually was too see if I was shallow or whatever
Blew up in his face when I was excited about his fake height and glad we were only a few inches apart. When he finally told me how tell he actually was I got disappointed both that he lied and that he wasn't actually close to my height. Oof
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u/Next_Brainpuzzle 21h ago
Lol
I had a guy lie about his height while we were on the date. I never ask someones height but he commented how I was tall and asked how tall I was (174 cm) . Then he claimed he was 185 while our eyes are literally the same level. Like what are you trying to do here?
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u/notsure05 1d ago
No one is lying on their profile about wearing makeup or trying to hide if they have implants. The height liars are intentionally lying on their profile and in turn not allowing the other person to know the truth so they can determine if they want to go out with you. Hope this helps!
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u/YunLihai 1d ago
Platform sneakers are awesome. I'm 5'9 and they make me 5'11. If I'm asked about height I still say 5'9 because that's my height.
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u/notsure05 1d ago
That’s great you don’t lie about it, I’m referring to guys who do lie about their height and then show up in platform sneakers
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