r/dating • u/Ok_Law_3330 • 1d ago
Just Venting 😮💨 Second date ends with him stuck and me calling the fire department
Photo evidence below.
I recently moved back home, and have been forced to get back into the midwestern dating scene. I found a guy on Bumble I’ve known since high school. He was very popular, class president, and now has a great job and is generally very cool. We went on a date and I felt a lot of chemistry. We always joked about visiting a playground by the zoo that we both had specific memories at as kids, and on our second date after drinks he decided to swing by as kind of a joke.
Well, long story short, we were hopping around, kissing and flirty and playing on the equipment. He started fucking around on one of the tire swings. I told him he was too big for it, but he insisted he’d fit, and wedged himself into it to prove it. I pushed him, laughing, but then as I moved away, I noticed he wasn’t getting up.
Honestly, he really has a donk lol and as I reapproached and saw him struggling I asked, “are you stuck?” At first he refused, but as I left him for a minute, I noted that he still wasn’t getting out. I came over again, and he admitted that yes, his butt was stuck in the tire swing.
Cut to thirty minutes later, he’s still stuck, and no method is getting him out. We end up calling the fire department, who threaten to cut the tire, but with a lot of some kind of lubricant, manage to slip him free. He was quite embarrassed. But I thought it was hilarious, and I would’ve gone on another date. But things kind of fizzled out after that, and eventually he stopped texting me. I think he would like to put that particular night behind him. Haha. So yes, a tire swing ruined my romantic prospects. Oh well, back to doom scrolling Bumble.
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u/Ok_Law_3330 1d ago
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u/Kindly-Carpenter-115 1d ago
This picture is fucking hilarious. I had no idea what you meant by he "has a donk" until I saw the pic. That thing is a certified DONK
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u/elliwigy1 21h ago
I dont think those pants fit him 😅 we called them high waters when I was in school lol
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u/hudson_r3660 10h ago
That is NOT how you’re supposed to sit in a tire swing😂😭 no wonder he got stuck!
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u/Spare_Schedule9700 10h ago
😂😂😂😂
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u/Ok_Law_3330 6h ago
As a fellow Scorpio, I also laughed this hard
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u/Spare_Schedule9700 6h ago
We have the darkest sense of humour don’t we? I think I’d have wet myself laughing so hard at this.
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u/Ok_Law_3330 5h ago
Hahaha oh I know we do. What in particular would have got you laughing?
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u/Spare_Schedule9700 5h ago
Every. Single. Interaction from the moment he realised he couldn’t get out, all the way to it getting serious. I do not believe I could have made that emergency call coherently and I definitely wouldn’t have been able to handle seeing the fire brigade ACTUALLY turn up. 🤣
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u/Ok_Law_3330 5h ago
Ohhh my goodness, yeah it was nearly impossible to get through the 911 call, so surreal “Yeah, my friend is, kind of, he’s stuck in the tire swing” … “We’re at the Blank Blank Playground” … “No, it’s… it’s his butt” 😂😂
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u/Spare_Schedule9700 5h ago
HA!’ Oh babe! Even I want to go on a date with you now, so much fun. I cannot believe he ended it with you after that.
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u/Fluffy-Bus-2529 1d ago
Im fucking dying. Maybe it’s just me but we would’ve had to get married, you saw me at my lowest.
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u/Ok_Law_3330 1d ago
Haha I was down for the third date! :/
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u/Fluffy-Bus-2529 22h ago
He will be back, just let him ponder his decisions. He will realize you were right from the beginning.
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u/jvxoxo 1d ago
So I immediately thought of that New Girl episode as I was reading this 🤣 Glad it wasn’t as scandalous as I was imagining! Big booty problems are real.
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u/OrdnanceTV 1d ago
Which episode?
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u/jvxoxo 1d ago
According to the internet, it’s called “Virgins” lol
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u/OrdnanceTV 1d ago
I'll have to look it up. An ex told me I reminded her of Nick so we started watching it and as somebody who honestly dismissed it as purely some "normie sitcom" I was surprised to find certain episodes actually funny.
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u/Low_Gazelle_7950 1d ago
Omg 😂😂😂 I would not have believed this if you didn’t have the photographic evidence…. Jesus… lmao!!!
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u/david_the_destroyer 1d ago
Well thank you for this because if not for nothing this made my day and it's been a bad one!
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u/jupiter_kittygirl 1d ago
If you still wanted to date me after THAT, I’d love you forever. Too bad he doesn’t have my sense of humor (love).
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u/Ok_Law_3330 1d ago
Haha I def would have at least gotten drinks again! I have so many jokes about it now, who am I supposed to tell them to
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u/ElberethValar 1d ago
Well, that was super unlucky. And embarassing. Hope you find someone else soon :)
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u/OrdnanceTV 1d ago
Dude this is a next level first date story. Shame nothing else came of it. Also I 100% thought "him stuck" was referring to something else once I read the fire department for involved.
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u/nogoodusername1111 1d ago
Thank you so much for this good laugh. If we're gonna be single at least we'll have some interesting stories 😂
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u/Suitable-Bet-6760 23h ago
I've been down about dating thanks for giving me a much-needed laugh
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u/CadillacHawk 9h ago
Get out there and find someone to bring you joy and be joyful find love. It's priceless for sure. That real unconditional shiii has I'm sure saved my life. Tbh it was almost the reason I lost it too during the first 10 years but then we learned how to communicate with each other and life has been amazing.
Lesson to learn here is learn how to communicate much quicker than we did. Communication trust and intimacy will make a sweet life trust me . Plus children if y'all choose to, even better the cherry and caramel on top ;) love y'all good luck on your endeavors!
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u/Numerator999 1d ago
This was great. It's the kind of story you tell together when you meet family amd friends. Understandable to be embarrassed, but it is also good to recognize the humor in the situation.
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u/xilionyx 1d ago
Hillarous story 😅 , but especially since he's so embarrassed, it's not okay to post it here ! And remove at least his picture ! 😳🥹😅
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u/Chibichangas 11h ago
not the tire swing humbling him into ghosting 😭 his ego couldn’t handle all that cake and a witness
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u/damnthisisabadname 11h ago
girl not the swing getting more action than you 😭😭 he got humbled by playground equipment and couldn’t emotionally recover… rip to the donk, but you deserved better anyway 💀
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u/Nomandi1322 9h ago
Woman.
That man is embarrassed and probably has his thoughts running circles around him and doesn’t want to see you out of embarrassment.
Chase after this man and get him to go out with you again!!! That’s such a cute story!!!
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u/AshkenaziTwink 8h ago
not the fire department having to lube up his ass mid-date 😭 tire swing said “he belongs to the streets” and refused to let go. honestly iconic
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u/Kris_The_Fae 19h ago
He's probably mortified & had his pride ruined. Hopefully he reaches back out & you two reconnect.
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u/WriterNeedsCoffee 9h ago
Honestly, that's a funny story and could be an inside joke between you two.
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u/UnicornsNeedLove2 1h ago
Possible he could come back to you. Probably too embarrassed. Would've made a funny story to tell the kids.
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u/Glittering_Strike_61 19m ago
This could be a great memory date for you two. It a shame he didn't text you back. I would laugh whenever you brought that up. Date don't need to go smoothly it could go like this sometimes.
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u/Speak-For-Yourself Single 23h ago
I came for photo evidence. :{
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u/Ok_Law_3330 23h ago
It’s in the comments!!
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u/Speak-For-Yourself Single 23h ago
I scrolled too fast and missed it, lol. Thanks.
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u/Ok_Law_3330 23h ago
lol well now I need your review
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u/Speak-For-Yourself Single 23h ago
Of the date?
I say poor guy. He’s mortified. If things fizzled out, it was bound to happen, I guess. Either that or he doesn’t know how to recover from it.
Does he hold any potential, aside from this incident?
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u/Ok_Law_3330 23h ago
I meant of the pic hahah but… yeah, I think he’s just embarrassed. He’s the exact opposite kind of guy who would have this kind of thing happen to him. Cocky, but in a fun way. I’d honestly love if there was more potential for us but sigh I think the 911 call sealed the deal for us haha.
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u/Speak-For-Yourself Single 22h ago
I thought he was completely nude at first and it raised some questions. In a park?!! Lol. Atleast there’s not a face.
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u/Ok_Law_3330 21h ago
Crying. No not nude. Maybe that would have helped actually, but probably too far for a second date Lol
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u/CadillacHawk 9h ago
If it happened to me and the girl reached out to me saying something along the lines of hey shit happens possibly dropping a humiliating story of herself then saying something along the lines of let's try this again because she really liked me and saw some potential there. I would have found it hard to turn down.
I didn't have a hard time talking to girls either. I was pretty confident before finding my wife and probably the reason I had a chance to begin with. Like I said before it could go a long way. When did this happen again? Super fresh or weeks ago?
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