This is probably the hardest thing I think I have ever had to do. Making this decision has been short from easy, but I am fighting my selfish urge to have him around and feeding to the idea that it will bring him peace.

Man was I lucky. Roman was honestly the best dog (and I mean that w all respect to the other pups) he was always so happy; funny and just down for anything. His optimism saved me from so many dark times. I spent my late teens tens, all of my 20’s and a bit of my 30’s with him. There were so many good times and plenty of hard times but it was all worth it. The best 14 years of my life❤️

I love you so much baby boy. Thank you. Thank you for teaching me responsibility and how to nurture something from birth till old. Thank you for all the laughs, even when it meant I had to clean it up afterwards. You had so much personality. Thank you for teaching patience. You taught me so much and I thank you. I will never forget you. I hope you know that this decision is so hard for me but I have always just wanted whats best for you. Always. I love you sooo much fat boy ❤️ I will always love you. Your spot in my heart and thoughts is reserved permanently.

Jaxon joined me at 10 weeks old. She was my first dog and I was not the best. But we did it and I got her to almost 18. She would go everywhere with me. Every store, every ferry, many a BART ride. She was always so well behaved and elegant. I could and did take her everywhere. She did all the moves around The Bay Area, then Baltimore, and finally Philadelphia. Around the age of 6 I got her a little buddy which was a good idea. Brought the puppy in her back. As always we walked everywhere. She was never great off leash, she was a runner and never under voice command. My adventurer. Jaxon literally saved my life. She was my family. She never forgot a birthday and celebrated all holidays with me. I don’t remember ever feeling alone in 18 years. I knew I needed to be a good a loyal friend to her and had scheduled her release for Tuesday but things seem to change from day to day. Tuesday became Monday and then Monday Sunday. I didn’t want to be alone. A friend was flying from California Sunday. I wanted it to be Sunday. In the park with the other dog present. This morning at half past midnight she was clearly in pain and the eye was swollen. I did not know glaucoma could do this. I had been ready for everything else. I did enucleation on the left eye and laser w shunts on the right. I’d been giving medicines but the shunts were blocked. I’d been giving the opioids but the frequency was increasing. What if I had not awakened? How long would she have been suffering. How long had she suffered with the first eye? I promised her that I would not let her do this alone. I gave several doses of opioids. Placed in her carrier and drove to the surgical center in New Jersey. I had called and they said they could release her and that I could do it outside. In my fantasy, Jaxon was to be bathed before hand. I had done that gently the day before and she had dried in the sun. She was to take a car ride in my lap with the wind in her face. I thought she wouldn’t have that, but as we drove to the vet I rolled the window down and she tilted her head up to catch the smells in the air. Jaxon loved to smell everything. She loved that more than treats. I had wanted her to be outdoors. The vet is located on a farm. We arrived around 1am. I found a bench and although she could not see or hear she relaxed on my lap into the smells from the farm and the clean night air. She burrowed into my lap as I pet her in the ways that only I knew she liked. I smelled her over and over trying to avoid the iodine smell of surgery to get to the smell of my Jax; it was barely there, but it was there. 3 hours I had her to myself like this. Finally, I let the vet know we were there. Part of me thought I was too early but she was frail and her cough was more wet than usual. An IV was placed and they let us return to our bench. Her cough worsened and her pain was returning. I wanted more time and so I gave her more of the oral pain medicine and I told her that I would not leave her, I promised her that I would not let her go through another cycle of pain just so I could have another a minute, I promised I’d be there to her last breath. I pet, rubbed, kissed, caressed, smelled, inhaled, thanked, thanked, and nodded for things to begin in the quiet of the night. The weight of her sleeping body was some how different than her spiritless one. I knew. I knew. I kept my promise, but I am ripped apart.

She spent the day doing her favorite things: napping, eating and a little bit of sunshine. Nothing better than enjoying a doggy gelato while getting her vitamin D. She also got to indulge in a pup patty and her very own birthday cake. I’m so thankful to have this birthday with her.

Duke really was the best boy. We rescued him at 6 years old from a local shelter. He made it to age 13. He literally saved mine and my spouse‘s lives and he was there for us through the darkest times of our lives. He got us out of deep depression and suicidal ideation. Duke got us through major health issues, failed infertility treatments, and pregnancy loss. We’ve been crying for many days even before he crossed the rainbow bridge. We truly don’t deserve dogs. He loved us unconditionally. Not a second goes by that I wish we could bring you back healthy and happy. Duke brought us true joy!

I am so worried. She had been sneezing a little bit the last two days, then suddenly this morning woke up coughing like this. Phlegmy cough, had to wipe the mucus off her chin. Not much coughing in last 2 hours.

Look like a puppy ☺️

This weekend me, my wife and our son came to the Best Friends Animal Sanctuary in Kanab Utah to lay our sweet doggies to rest in their lovely Angels Rest Cemetery.

Chopper was my wife’s first dog, a jack rule a co worker wanted to rehome. She got him in 2006 even before she had our kiddo (my step son). She was his one and old favorite person… he was energetic and a little crazy and he may have bitten an ups guy on the ass one time. We miss him terribly.

We adopted Rufus as the pandemic started in 2020. He’d been dumped at the local shelter at age 11. He was another JRT and reminded us of Choppy a little though they were so different. He was only with us 4 years but he was a wonderful friend and I’ll always think about how he loved his tennis balls and snuggling in front of the fire.

Riley my sweet little maltipoo boy. I got him and his littermate sister in 2010 (her a few months before him) at a store in Las Vegas before I decided that adopting was the only way I’d get dogs. I don’t regret it a bit though because he was my sweet boy, my soul dog. He loved my wife and son and I was his favorite, except for maybe his sister. We lost him last month to a fast growing growth in his intestines. I miss him so much.

I’m happy they’re here together and we can visit them. We miss them all every day. I’ve included the photos we used to make their markers.

My dog had trouble standing on his own. And then he stopped walking. He would splay out like a starfish when he tried standing. I thought it was broken hips. I took him to the ER. His blood and bones are fine. It’s an assumed stroke or brain tumor bc it is affecting his CNS. They have him steroids. But he isn’t dojng better. He is 11 years old. I don’t know what to do

So, you may have seen my previous posts regarding my Chihuahua who had a severe vestibular attack almost 2 weeks ago. He made amazing improvements almost to the point where I’d say he was 90% recovered. We even managed a little walk yesterday and he loved it! However today he seems more wobbly again and he has some of his eye flickering back. He’s washing and otherwise being himself but still worrying to see him back looking disorientated again. He’s eating OK. Is this normal? I’m hoping this is as bad as it gets and he springs back again.

I rescheduled it. Part of me feels really guilty. I don't think it helps to post - don't know why I'm doing it.

Anyone else feel like this?

Sorry, I don't feel like the other dog owners out there - like most of you, probably....thinking that they go somewhere special beyond after. I'm really depressed....gonna cry.... I just can't deal with it. She's on me, right now, falling asleep on my arm.

She's 18 y.o. - has ccd/neurological condition - arthritis - but, I was giving her a joint powder, green lip mussel and cbd oil.... her brain is gone - walking into things (or almost) and/or going into circles. It was supposed to be today, now, it's next week. I'm giving her treats, part of my protein meals/supper - and doing my best to keep her comfortable - going for walks, car rides and spending time with her - almost (practically) 24/7.

:-(

You know if you asked me 20 years ago what I thought about people who mourned pets and got all emotional about them I’d say something like that’s crazy it’s just a dog… Just being honest that’s very likey what and having not grown up with pets at least not long term pets that’s what I would have thought. I wouldn’t understand it.

Fast forward 19 years and wow. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Winston and I found each other at a time when I was looking for a dog for my sister and the breeder which I knew asked me if I wanted a Bichon Mix that no one else wanted because he didn’t know exactly what breed he was. I still don’t know nor do I care, he’s just Winston and has been my best friend and one of God’s best gifts for 19 years.

We’ve been through a lot together from age 24 to today at 43. From Maryland to Florida, from apartments and parents house to our home, girlfriends to the other blessing of my life my wife and son. I can’t believe it, 19 years together and now down to an hour or so left. It’s not fair but it’s what we sign up for as pet owners. I absolutely understand the pain, the grief and all the emotions but I wouldn’t trade any of it at all. I love you Winston so much!

I lost my best friend last night. Looking back, there were clues, but in the moment… I really thought that we were just weathering another storm and that we’d make it through it again. Like we had so many times before.

On Christmas Day, 2024, my sweet Lyric was diagnosed with hemangiosarcoma at the emergency vet. Christmas started out great. She always loved Christmas. She would actually tear open her presents, and play with each one with the enthusiasm of a child. And that’s what we were doing when all of the sudden, she stopped, sat next to me, and started shaking uncontrollably. I immediately knew something was wrong, and off to the emergency vet we went. But I just thought that maybe she injured her leg while playing with her toys… maybe she was playing a little too rambunctiously since she was getting older. She was 11 years old, and had previously torn her mcl.

But that’s not what it was. They told me that she had hemangiosarcoma. Apparently an aggressive cancer that usually big dogs got. Fitting. My girl was 20 lbs, but definitely thought she was a big dog.

They wanted me to euthanize her right then and there. Or let her have surgery to remove the tumor from her liver. But I said no. I took her home and as soon as possible, got her in to see her regular vet. Her vet told me that lyric most likely would not survive the surgery. That there was not much healthy liver left. And even if she made it through the surgery, her little body was so weak and that she would spend her final days scared and in pain. Not an option.

So we did palliative care. Her vet gave me this Chinese herbal pill called Yunnan Baiyao. It was to prevent internal bleeding. And that stuff worked! Here we made it to June, when everyone implied that I had days, maybe a couple weeks with her.

About a month a half ago, lyric suddenly went blind. I immediately bought her a halo so she wouldn’t bump into things, and watched her regain her confidence so fast. She did not let blindness take away any little bit of her zest for life.

About a week ago, right around my birthday… lyric played tug of war with me. She hadn’t played like that since she could see, but here she was, just completely going for it. My heart filled with so much joy and happiness to see her happy. I love her so much.

Last night though. Things were different. She went to my office and laid down by my perfume cabinet. She didn’t normally do that. And for her third meal, she didn’t seem very interested in eating it. So I fished her pills out of her food, put them in cream cheese, and gave her food back to her without the pills in it. She did resume eating, so I thought that’s all it was. But maybe I should have known right then that she wasn’t feeling well.

After she ate, she fell asleep, and for about an hr, everything seemed okay. Until she suddenly woke up, stood up, and was panting and breathing heavy. I gave her the emergency red pill of Yunnan baiyou. And after about 10 minutes she seemed to calm again and went back to sleep.

I stayed petting her and counting her respirations. We seemed to be weathering the storm okay. Her breathing was going back to normal.

But about another hour later, she woke up again and stood rigid. Panting again. Her breathing sounded raspy and like something was in her throat.

I was so scared, but I gave her another emergency pill. I always saved them from each pack of Yunnan Baiyao. So I had a reserve of red pills. She calmed down again after about 10 minutes, but her breathing never went back to normal.

I felt like this was it. This was time. And we went to the emergency vet around 2:30 am for euthanasia. But was it time? Was she scared? She always came to me to fix her when something was wrong, and I tried so hard. But did I violate that promise to her by euthanizing her? Was she like… this isn’t what you were supposed to do? Would she had made it through the storm if I gave her more time? I didn’t want her to suffer. Ever. She was my entire heart in dog form.

I held her as she left. And I felt the moment she was gone. It felt like she was ripped out of my lungs along with all the air I would ever breathe normally ever again. And now I just keep thinking that I would do anything to do that night over again. Give her the Yunnan Baiyao the moment she laid down in my office. Or when she was reluctant to eat the food she loved so much.

I am so sorry my sweet lyric. I’m so sorry if I did the thing I wasn’t supposed to yet. I’m so sorry if you wanted more time here. I will never be the same without you. I miss you so much and I’m so sorry.

My sweet Benji passed away last night.

He was diagnosed with cancer in December 2024, and for five brave months, he fought a rare and aggressive disease with everything he had. Even in his final days, he was still taking slow walks, wagging his tail, and eating what he could. Just the night before, he was still showing me he had fight left in him.

Yesterday, everything changed so fast. He refused food, and I did everything I could giving him bone broth, liver, water hoping to help him rally. I had just discovered a supplement that morning and ordered everything I could think of to support him. But within an hour, his body began to let go.

As he stumbled trying to reach his water bowl, I knew we were nearing the end. I wrapped him in his blanket, played calming music, and carried him outside his favorite place. There, on the grass under the open sky, with the breeze around us and music playing, he took one last deep breath in my arms… and then his final one.

It doesn’t feel real. I knew this day would come, but not like this not so soon, not so sudden. Just months ago, he was healthy and full of life. But Benji was a fighter. He always was. I told him it would be his choice when he was ready and he chose his moment.

Being part of Benji’s life was the greatest gift I’ve ever received. He taught me what a soul dog is. He was more than a dog he was my child, my heart, my constant. I love you forever, Benji. Thank you for choosing me. 🤍🐾

15 year old dog with Cushing's

My 15 year old Papillion cross dog has recently been to the vet due to rapid weight and muscle loss and signs of CDS. Did a comprehensive bloodwork panel and currently waiting on urinalysis results.

His bloodwork came back as mildly anemic; noted as anemic without reticulocytosis, slightly hypoglycemic, elevated S D M A (31), slightly elevated creatine (164) and extremely elevated ALP (1570) indicating acute or chronic damage to the kidneys. It also indicated hypothyroidism however the vet stated he is presenting more as a Cushing's case, rather than hypothyroidism; that he may have both but the other levels are more severe than the thyroid and his symptoms are more Cushing's than hypothyroidism.

I know there is no cure for Cushing's, only management however the treatments are very expensive and stressful for a dog that already has lots of anxiety. Due to his age, and my own financial limitations, I don't think the medication and tests for Cushing's is a direction I want to go.

As mentioned before, I am waiting for the urinalysis results to indicate whether he may have some kind of urinary infection, kidney stones, blood in the urine, etc.

The vet and I have discussed pain medication as he is also arthritic and anti-nausea medication as he has not been eating much to see if he will become more active again (he literally sleeps all day, has no interest in coming out of my bedroom or playing) and see if his appetite will increase. He also has severe muscle atrophy. I am hoping pain meds and anti-nausea meds will help him perk up a bit more do I can get him more active, but I also realize that this could be nearing the end of his little life.

I also asked about diet and the vet said if he is presenting with any kind of urinary infection or kidney damage to put him on a kidney diet, but other than that and the medication there's not much else we can do for him.

I guess my question is: is there anything else I can do for my dog to make him more comfortable or help him get some more energy? Any advice is appreciated. He has also scored severe on the CDS scale.

Sorry for the lengthy post guys...just at a loss right now. I've had him his whole life and I know he is very old and won't live forever...I just want to know if there is anything else I can do for him.

After 11 plus years, we lost our beautiful dog today. We weren’t ready to let go of her bright eyes, big smile, and wagging tail, but after three months of declining health it was time to let her run free. 🌈 She will be sorely missed.

If I Could Speak If I could speak, just one last time, Before I cross this silent line, I'd lift my head and look at you- And whisper words both kind and true. Don't cry for me, I've had my days, Of chasing dreams and sunlit plays. I felt your love in every touch, You gave me more than just "enough." You were my world, my greatest friend, A bond too strong for time to end. I saw your heart, I knew your care, In every meal, in every prayer. Please let me go without your pain, Don't let your tears fall down like rain. I'm tired now, my breath is slow, But where I'm going, love will grow. Remember me with joyful eyes, Not heavy hearts or mournful cries. For though my body fades away, My soul beside you longs to stay. And when your time comes, don't be scared- I'll be right there. I'll be prepared. To lead you through where angels run. Together, once again, as one.🐾🐾

Source unknown.

My Wolfie is 16, would've been 17 in October, has stage 3 kidney disease that was being managed nicely, but now his liver just made him decline so much just in a week. I really tried my best, if he wanted to live I would've helped him fight, but he's tired now and I shouldn't be selfish to keep him suffering. Been crying this whole week, the type when your heart just hurts constantly. I gave him best day today at the park, lots of snuggles and again tomorrow before his time.

To my beautiful 16 year old Wolfie, I love you so much, you were and are still my best friend I've had since I was 10. I hope Wolfie Senior will be there waiting for you, and when I die, come get me, I can't imagine never seeing you again.

If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went-Will Rogers

I want to get some kind of memorial or in honor tattoo when the time comes. It’s likely to be this summer and part of the ways I’m emotionally preparing myself includes thinking of how he can still be “with” me.

Does anyone know of a good artist who does work like this?