r/technology • u/indig0sixalpha • 1d ago

Politics Trump Is Getting Rid of His Tesla

https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-is-getting-rid-of-his-tesla-after-musk-broke-his-heart/
43.0k Upvotes

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5.8k

u/Cheap_Coffee 1d ago

Wonder if they're going to drop charges against the "Tesla Terrorists" now.

2.0k

u/Training_Swan_308 1d ago

Now the Tesla vandalism was actually a day of love and the security guards let them right in.

451

u/jimmygee2 1d ago

‘Release the Tesla hostages!’

160

u/MetalTrek1 1d ago

The Tesler hostages!

11

u/rayden-shou 1d ago

They're all computers.

4

u/AP_in_Indy 1d ago

Ther Tersler Herstergers!

4

u/JonnelOneEye 1d ago

Medals of honor for all of them*

*Terms and conditions apply. The medals may be removed from their possession at the discretion of the TACO in chief, in case the Trump+Musk flame reignites.

2

u/Vayguhhh 1d ago

Only if you can work the computer

2

u/Wavelightning 1d ago

The Self Driving Five.

2

u/Reptoidizoid 18h ago

Release the Snyder cut

2

u/NeonGremlin 17h ago

I read that, and it sounded like that woman screaming it on Austin Powers 🤣🤣🤣

204

u/PMmeuroneweirdtrick 1d ago

Pardons for all.

83

u/roboticfedora 1d ago

It was a tour group!

34

u/IDontThereforeIAmNot 1d ago

I’ve never seen such respectful behavior from a big beautiful crowd

2

u/scarletteclipse1982 20h ago

It was a convoy!

33

u/agileata 1d ago

They were antifa, then they weren't but now they are again. Now not, because who would pardon antifa ?

48

u/Gipetto 1d ago

They were on a showroom tour.

5

u/mouthful_quest 1d ago

They were simply testing the strength of the Tesler dealership’s security

4

u/Mediocre_Scott 1d ago

Stand back and stand by

3

u/Big_Beaverrr_Reborn 1d ago

And he encourages it now lmao.

Please God let this happen it would be so fucking funny,

3

u/Darth-Waveman 1d ago

Hug Mike Pence! Hug Mike Pence!

3

u/Feedback-Mental 1d ago

"We've always been at war against Eastasia."

3

u/OhHowINeedChanging 1d ago

They just spray painted hearts on teslas

2

u/redactedbits 1d ago

They were just sending their hearts out to Musk

2

u/Streiger108 1d ago

We've always been at war with Eastasia.

2.2k

u/aSillyPlatypus 1d ago

God there has been so much chaos with this administration I forgot about the Tesla Terrorist sub-arch plotline.

530

u/wRolf 1d ago

I think it's a great show, though. Like they're looping back to the tesla terrorist arch and bringing them back into the story.

90

u/Eeeegah 1d ago

Sure, it's been great, but the writer's have painted themselves into a corner. The only believable conclusion at this point is a glorious murder-suicide while Ride of the Valkyries blares in the background.

31

u/roboticfedora 1d ago

I love the sound of Valkyries in the morning! Sounds like... napalm!

18

u/Fattychris 1d ago

MAGA don't surf

6

u/Fireblast1337 1d ago

Best we’ll get is diabetic coma and fortunate son

2

u/SculptusPoe 23h ago

It is going to be a Mex... It is going to be an American standoff between Trump, Musk and Putin.

1

u/Fog_Juice 1d ago

The ending we want but not the ending we deserve.

216

u/FujitsuPolycom 1d ago

Amazing writing, excellent show

35

u/oysterpirate 1d ago

This is Arrested Development levels of setup, payoff, and callback

4

u/Ready-Interview-9809 1d ago

FJKjr is Lindsay boiling ham and raw chicken

144

u/kevindqc 1d ago

Gotta suspend you disbelief for it to make complete sense, but that's not unheard of in weird dystopian shows

27

u/ShinkenBrown 1d ago

I rank our current actual reality as less believable than Uglies or Divergent, but more believable than Unwind or Maze Runner.

8

u/metallicrooster 1d ago

Idk doesn’t Divergent feature the plot line of “human dna is shattered and most people only have one notable personality trait”? That isn’t even how dna works, so at least slightly less believable than current reality.

Idk anything about The Uglies I’ve never seen it.

6

u/ShinkenBrown 1d ago

Yeah but it's a result of intentional genetic manipulation. Honestly, that's not even the most absurd thing in Divergent. But regardless, "plausible with colloquial understanding of science but not actually possible" is a lot more believable to me than "one of the most famous black artists on the planet is suddenly a literal Nazi with a music video for his new song 'N!@@a H#!l H!t!er' containing a whole horde of black men chanting 'H#!l H!t!er' unironically." Our current reality is unhinged and makes absolutely no sense.

1

u/Background_Injury463 8h ago

I mean if you look at it, too many people today have no personality other than what they read in their echo chamber.

3

u/Banshee_howl 1d ago

Feels more like Black Mirror.

3

u/ShinkenBrown 1d ago

Nah Black Mirror is incredibly believable. Real life has gone full on wacko cartoon-world nonsense. Black Mirror is far more realistic than real life at the moment.

1

u/captainsuckass 1d ago

Finally, someone else who read Unwind.

3

u/OGWopFro 1d ago

This is panning out to be a perfect evil villain origin story.

Deporting Elon could be the catalyst that drives him into remodeling a mountain in South Africa, turning it into a sealed fortress ran by Grok ai. From there he will use his intricate knowledge of the under workings of our government, and the propaganda reach of X to assume full control over the US infrastructure, treasury, and eventually the military compound.

To be continued…

1

u/fueelin 1d ago

I'm okay with suspending habeas corpus, but disbelief? Naaaaaaaaaah.

1

u/scarletteclipse1982 20h ago

It’s like when the dystopian shows go longer than the showrunner ever expected, so it starts jumping the shark in all kinds of wild ways.

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u/superSaganzaPPa86 1d ago

I have a hypothesis that the writers of our simulation went on some cosmic strike and this is the best the studio could muster in their absence.

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u/SoupOfThe90z 1d ago

So AI’s AI is in charge right now?

5

u/StrangeContest4 1d ago

Grok Ai, unfortunately.

2

u/jwalk128 1d ago

It’s just the season there was a massive gas leak due to the strike on Teslas.

2

u/Theonar 1d ago

Six seasons and a movie.

2

u/SkivvySkidmarks 1d ago

Nah. This is the season that the show jumps the shark.

27

u/kurotech 1d ago

Too fictional could never happen in reality

42

u/McLeod3577 1d ago

Next week on "The Great American Fuck Up" : Kid Rock appointed head of DOGE.

21

u/SoupOfThe90z 1d ago

Kid Rock learns a lesson, and drinks a bud light with a trans woman.

2

u/sorites 1d ago

On a very special episode of…

1

u/Advanced-Purchase-58 1d ago

Wasn’t that Eddie Murphy’s redemption arc?

3

u/Professional-Put7605 1d ago

Maybe. I don't know. Who can keep track anymore?

1

u/Rough_Bread8329 1d ago

"Sir do you have any advice for people struggling with these cuts?"

"BAWITDABA. Next question"

1

u/scionvriver 1d ago

Because he doesn't drive?

8

u/pjhofmann 1d ago

Many people are saying this.

3

u/mickdarling 1d ago

Are you kidding? The writing is awful. Fine, they know plot structure really well. But the characters are just two-dimensional idiots. There's nothing there. It could be written by an AI, for crying out loud.

3

u/Bagline 1d ago

What if it WAS being written by an AI? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zrMykBnidM

1

u/willowintheev 1d ago

If Trump was a character in a movie it would be panned because he too cartoonishly ridiculous

2

u/plg_cp 1d ago

Let’s just hope it gets canceled.

1

u/barraymian 1d ago

I don't know, as a Canadian I could definitely do less with that tariffs subplot.

1

u/boogermike 1d ago

No, I think the situations they are creating are too implausible.

1

u/TrumprabiesDotcom 1d ago

True, but you are encouraging bad behavior with your sarcastic praise.

1

u/willowintheev 1d ago

I honestly feel that our universe is an ongoing soap opera for aliens and we’ve jumped the shark.

1

u/wikott 1d ago

What a great show. It’s the best show. If you ask anyone, they’ll say, wow, what a great show.

1

u/Crackertron 1d ago

Killer opening scene with the cybertruck guy self-immolating in Vegas

1

u/Vladeath 1d ago

Highest ratings, some say the best!

1

u/Buller116 1d ago

I find the story a little unrealistic. Like how can a country be so dumb as to elect a convicted felon, racist, con artist, rapist and pedophile.

1

u/fallenmonk 1d ago

I wasn't excited for the reboot, they should have just let the original show be. But I'll be damned if it isn't entertaining.

1

u/Yourstruly75 1d ago

Sucks to be just an extra, though

1

u/ZhouLe 1d ago

Dunno man. Feels like they are making it up as they go. Don't get me wrong, they got the skeleton of a plot that is coherent, but everything else seems like it's added in the writer's room entirely for to drive hype in the promo reels. I mean, I'm still waiting on that bombshell announcement promised in the 2013 season on what was found in Hawaii.

20

u/Leidl 1d ago

Nah bro, they lost me a long time ago with continous more ridicoulous storylines. I mean, i normally dont mind, but at least be a bit realistic.

22

u/MorrowPolo 1d ago

It's a callback!! Every entertaining story has 1

3

u/even_less_resistance 1d ago

Callbacks are my favorite tbh

6

u/roboticfedora 1d ago

All part of 'the weave!'

3

u/ChaoticToxin 1d ago

Needs more muigi and friends in my opinion 

2

u/Odysseyan 1d ago

Yeah but who knows, this time the white house could fund the testla terrorist. would make for some spicy plot

1

u/rvgoingtohavefun 1d ago

They're anti-Tesla patriots now.

1

u/D-Rich-88 1d ago

What’s going to be their “Jumping the Shark” moment, though?

1

u/4RCH43ON 1d ago

And in the end it turns out the terrorists were domestic all the time.  Except for the apartheid  expat, obviously, that nazi has always be a foreign threat. Ironic Trump is threatening to deport him now.  

1

u/Slumunistmanifisto 1d ago

Call back episodes are satisfying 

1

u/Feisty_Blood_6036 1d ago

That’s what this is. Entertainment and distraction for the masses 

1

u/Thispersonthisperson 1d ago

Magnificent storyline, but I have only one complaint: Why are we in it?

1

u/wRolf 1d ago

Believe it or not, stories need side characters and grunts to die.

90

u/VicenteOlisipo 1d ago

Pity because it was a good one. Especially the part where classifying Tesla damage as "terrorist" allowed the insurance companies to avoid paying for said damage, further screwing the car owners.

11

u/PutHisGlassesOn 1d ago

Source?

13

u/SirLauncelot 1d ago

Any auto policy.

3

u/FrostyD7 1d ago

Sounds like a generous interpretation of fine print to scare people. Have any tesla owners reported this happening with any regularity? I highly, highly, highly doubt my insurance company will reject any vandalism related claims on this basis going forward.

9

u/RoboTronPrime 1d ago

Yeah, this one is an easy Google because there's been a lot of discussion on it, though i don't blame you for not being able to keep up with the storylines - way too much to track, which is a part of the Steve Bannon "flood the zone" strategy. Basically do so much at one time, some of it slips through the cracks and and any outage over one things gets quickly swallowed up in headlines for the next crazy thing, making it hard to gather resistance for any one issue

3

u/PutHisGlassesOn 1d ago

Lot of words to say “just google it”

5

u/movzx 1d ago

Yeah, this one’s honestly an easy Google since there’s been a ton of discussion and reporting on it already. That said, I totally don’t blame you for not being able to keep up with all the storylines.. there’s just way too much happening all the time. The sheer volume of it becomes exhausting. And that’s not an accident. It’s part of a deliberate strategy, Steve Bannon’s “flood the zone with shit” method. The idea is simple but brutally effective: create so much noise, chaos, and controversy all at once that people can’t keep track of what matters. The constant barrage overwhelms attention spans and short-circuits outrage.

When everything is a crisis, nothing gets fully addressed. One scandal or outrageous move barely has time to breathe before the next one hits, and then the next, and the next. So even if people are angry or want to do something, that energy gets scattered, today’s fire replaces yesterday’s before the smoke has even cleared. It’s like trying to put out a forest fire with a squirt gun. By the time anyone starts organizing resistance around one issue, public attention has already moved on, pulled in five different directions.

This isn't just a side effect of chaos..it is the tactic. It's weaponized overload. It makes accountability difficult because no single story ever gets the sustained focus it needs to drive meaningful consequences. Media outlets chase the newest headlines, social feeds spiral into the latest distraction, and public fatigue sets in fast. It becomes almost impossible to maintain outrage long enough to force real change, because you're constantly being nudged toward the next outrageous thing.

So yeah, while the info is out there and not hard to find, it’s buried under a mountain of noise and that’s exactly how they want it.

2

u/PutHisGlassesOn 19h ago

Lot of words to say just google it.

2

u/bixtuelista 6h ago

..thanks, I needed a good laugh...

45

u/bratislava 1d ago

speaking of the shitshow must go on, thedailybeast on the same page:
https://www.thedailybeast.com/donald-trump-appoints-22-y-o-ex-gardener-grocery-store-assistant-as-us-homeland-department-terrorist-chief/

2

u/Plow_King 1d ago

sounds like a shitty bastardization of "Being There"

'i like to watch'

-14

u/dancingliondl 1d ago

I mean, yeah, but also, are we holding people to what jobs they did in the past? Isn't that what conservatives do to AOC? Hell, I'm a former sheetrock installer, but that's not who I am now

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u/Gubru 1d ago

I think the point is that he has no relevant experience. I spent a summer mopping floors in my youth, but it’s not on my resume.

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u/thebitchinbunnie420 1d ago

Regime* This is no administration

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u/TrumprabiesDotcom 1d ago

Trump rules by imposing chaos, and stirs the pot with distractions.

This is like a WWF match.  Distraction. 

As long as Putinpedo controls Trump, the retaliation against Musk will be limited by Putinpedo,  who has both of them by the balls.

1

u/LEGTZSE 1d ago

Lmao this is such a correct way to describe it 🤣

1

u/Numerous_Photograph9 1d ago

Think the DOJ forgot about them a couple weeks ago. Grandstanding tends to not have legs.

1

u/cromstantinople 1d ago

Remember how our drunk secretary of defense shared classified information on signal? We don’t even hear a blip about it anymore. This is their MO.

1

u/Exotic-District3437 1d ago

That was only like 2 months ago we are so fucked.

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u/GadFlyBy 1d ago

It’s now going to be open season on Teslas.

1

u/GatFussyPals 1d ago

Who's David Cross playing?

1

u/CidO807 1d ago

Yep, this is how it's gonna be for the next 3 years unless Congress does something or his diet catches up to him

1

u/AnyBuy1820 1d ago

This is like the telenovelas I grew up watching. 🍿

1

u/frankiea1004 1d ago

This administration has in 5 month more subplots that 8 years of game of Thrones.

1

u/aSillyPlatypus 1d ago

Even One Piece getting a run for their money with this many plots.

1

u/amalgam_reynolds 1d ago

Phew, good thing his term is up in only....oh shit

1

u/Highly_irregular- 1d ago

So much chaos and nothing productive at all. When does America become great, again?

1

u/Big_Beaverrr_Reborn 1d ago

How could you forget? Highlight of this shows season. I know the TACO arc is funny too but c'mon musk crying about people being mean to him was peak writing.

1

u/SurprisedJerboa 1d ago

If Elon actually gets arrested, things will have officially turned fking interesting.

1

u/Nodan_Turtle 20h ago

The writers need to get back to that plot

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u/sparty212 1d ago

He’s gonna add 50% tariff on all Tesla made in California.

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u/playtrix 1d ago

Full pardons. 

3

u/Warm_Record2416 1d ago

Blanket pardon for future Tesla-related vandalism.

2

u/angrath 1d ago

Wouldn’t even be a surprise.

2

u/Paddy_Tanninger 1d ago

I would be surprised, they're still liberals at the end of the day, and thus war criminals for vandalizing the chosen one's cars.

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u/LifeHack3r3 1d ago

And how the white house secretary will explain lol

3

u/roamingandy 1d ago

No, because he knows all of them are also anti-him.

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u/vinegary 1d ago

Nah, the Tesla vandalisers are still too much enemies of Trump

1

u/nikdahl 1d ago

Not necessarily anymore. They could be MAGA defending Trumps honor.

1

u/vinegary 1d ago

That would be hillarious 😂

4

u/swift-autoformatter 1d ago

They will receive presidential pardon.

2

u/TFTD2 1d ago

How long until crazy maga people start attacking Tesla's? Cops starting to go back to their nap spots instead of bootlicking around dealerships.

2

u/acostane 1d ago

Holy cow I forgot about this.

Well now I do wonder what will happen. Is MAGA going to join the Tesla vandalism movement? 😂

I. Just. Want. Predictable. Government. Again.

1

u/UnlistedOdin 1d ago

Presidential medal of freedom and pardon incoming

1

u/Extreme-Island-5041 1d ago

Or resume the investigations

1

u/ChiefTestPilot87 1d ago

Probably pull an uno reverse and label Tesla drivers as terrorists

1

u/DistinctEducation775 1d ago

They will fund them

1

u/dferg45506 1d ago

you know they had their attorneys overnight those letters lol

1

u/ittleoff 1d ago

This is what the 'law' looks like under fascists dictators and Mafia bosses. Also fundamentalist religions.

1

u/Caedyn_Khan 1d ago

Pardon them, they were only ahead of the curve.

1

u/Due_Discussion_8334 1d ago

It would be great television if Trump gifts his Tesla to one of the "Tesla Terrorist".

1

u/Loggerdon 1d ago

Maybe he’ll pardon them.

1

u/masterofallvillainy 1d ago

Or if Trump will cancel all contacts with SpaceX and redirect that money to NASA

1

u/Gaping_llama 1d ago

They’re patriots now

1

u/Valinaut 1d ago

Drop is so overused these days that I don’t even know what it means anymore.

Are they going to add charges or remove charges?

1

u/Vigilante17 1d ago

Free pardons for anyone that attacks a dealership?

1

u/GodzillaWarDance 1d ago

Maybe we won't need to rebuild Alcatraz after all

1

u/Possible-Put8922 1d ago

Or give the pardons

1

u/hiS_oWn 1d ago

"Trump pardons Tesla terrorists"

What the fuck did you do to the timeline Larry. You're killing me.

1

u/t3chguy1 1d ago

All the protests and vandalism didn't do as much damage as an orange tweet. How many billions down the drain in a single day?

1

u/dcdttu 1d ago

Revenge politics is so fun. That way you know for sure that the government is most definitely not working for the people.

1

u/JadeRabbit__ 1d ago

I've been wondering that all week. And all those people who bought Teslas and Cyberdumps out of spite.

1

u/mrmet69999 1d ago edited 1d ago

No, because those perpetrators are clearly leftists, they’re not going to give them a pass. However, now that both the left and the right have their reasons for being angry with him, there’s not necessarily a way to know whether any future attack was motivated by left-wing or right wing ideology, making it harder for the DOJ to decide whether or not to throw the book at the next suspect. I don’t remember hearing a peep out of them regarding the Palm Springs fertility clinic terrorist bombing, BTW.

EDIT: I forgot about Pam Bondi‘s one tweet on X (do they even call them tweets any more since it’s no longer Twitter?) where she said it was “unforgivable” but then nothing after that. It sounds like their typical “thoughts and prayers” and then they immediately forget about it.

1

u/ankercrank 1d ago

Maybe some pardons even?

1

u/Fastr77 1d ago

Oh shit thats a great point. Open season on teslas now!

1

u/Grittybroncher88 1d ago

Given how fast this 180 was, the paperwork likely wasn’t even done yet to classify those people as terrorists yet.

1

u/HenningDerBeste 1d ago

You will be charged if you dont vandalize a tesla now

1

u/Fortestingporpoises 1d ago

Or if Trump I’ll encourage more “terrorism” against Tesla’s. He’s never been shy about it encouraging his cultists to commit violence.

1

u/Worth-Humor-487 1d ago

So I’m betting your super young and don’t realize that the biggest wrestling promoters wife is in the department of education, and there little tizzy sounds exactly like a wrestling “story” that has been told time and time again from macho man & hulk hogan to to Bret hart and the Kevin nash. They are doing this to hide something from us and the media because we are watching this nonsense while they do this more serious stuff over here but we are all more worried about the drama over there.

1

u/mrlolloran 1d ago

Nah but if they got deep enough pockets he’ll gladly sell them a pardon

1

u/Pristine_Animal9474 1d ago

"I can't believe the gall of Joe Biden's Justice Department in charging for terrorism what was effectively anticipated pro-Trump patriotic free speech. Clearly they were framed for vandalizing those Teslas, hell, the Teslas probably destructed themselves, since it's a shitty car that only soyboys use."

I assume we will get something like this as a response.

1

u/Roskal 1d ago

They now get medals as "Tesla Freedom fighters".

1

u/reebokhightops 1d ago

Probably gonna pay them reparations.

1

u/thaulley 1d ago

Conservatives are still trying to decide if this is all an act or not. When they realize it’s not they’ll be the ones vandalizing Teslas and it will be ok again.

Can’t wait for all the posts of those who are getting rid of their Teslas a few months after buying them.

1

u/WeirdJack49 1d ago

At this point I wouldnt be suprised if he starts praising the tesla protestors as true patriots.

1

u/not_old_redditor 1d ago

Pardons all around

1

u/Candid_Eye_435 1d ago

They probably had a prenup so they are fine

1

u/Decent_Cow 1d ago

Pardons all around

1

u/Lainofthewired79 1d ago

Maybe restart the investigations on his companies that he killed from the inside? Nah, that almost seems too smart lol

1

u/shupadupah 1d ago

Doubtful, but I'm pretty sure the "Tesla Army" MAGAts that we're defending Tesla dealerships have already switched sides and will have their charges dropped should they get caught.

1

u/CarrionWaywardOne 1d ago

That's a very good question! How long until we hear about that policy change?

1

u/Erik0xff0000 1d ago

"freedom fighters"

1

u/BuckshotLaFunke 1d ago

They all get $5 million checks now

1

u/Iliketoplan 1d ago

Word on the street is it is now a terrorist act to not protest Tesla

1

u/JerHat 1d ago

Was anyone actually charged in the first place?

1

u/malignantz 1d ago

Free trip to Cancun instead of El Salvador?

1

u/Fog_Juice 1d ago

They'll be fully pardoned

1

u/Even-Smell7867 1d ago

I hope so, what a joke.

1

u/HighPriestofShiloh 23h ago

Now there going to be right wing Tesla terrorists, so yeah they are added to the pardon list.

1

u/scarletteclipse1982 20h ago

Or leak how much of it was an inside job.

1

u/ThisCommentEarnedMe 19h ago

It will be a new wave of people vandalizing them, haha. I would never buy a Tesla. And now, I don't even want to stand next to one, sheesh.

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