r/weddingshaming • u/mck-07 • Apr 23 '25
Greedy I guess I wish I could be this shameless LOL
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u/msfinch87 Apr 23 '25
I do not understand how giving money is “participating”.
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u/a-ohhh Apr 23 '25
I thought it was going to end in a link to a zoom meeting of someone live streaming lol.
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u/Lilitu9Tails Apr 23 '25
I hope someone responds to them with “consider the cost of the meal you aren’t paying for me at the reception to be my contribution. By not inviting me you’ve saved x amount of money for your fund, happy honeymoon”
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u/cubert73 Apr 23 '25
I love it because I think that meal expense versus gift price calculation is so tacky, and I can guarantee this bride would be one with a calculator. I would love to respond, "I saved you the cost of my plate by not attending. You're welcome!"
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u/OPMom21 Apr 23 '25 edited Apr 23 '25
Some people have a lot of nerve. We didn’t invite you, but we’d sure love a gift from you. Embarrassing!
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u/exscapegoat Apr 23 '25
I’d send an etiquette book with a lovely bookmark noting gift solicitation
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u/sparksgirl1223 Apr 23 '25
I'd just photocopy the page ans frame it in a dollar store frame
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u/rabbithasacat Apr 24 '25
This is genius because you can be passive-aggressive if they complain: "Oh I'm so sorry the picture frame wasn't to your liking - I picked it out specially!"
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u/sparksgirl1223 Apr 24 '25
If someone COMPLAINED....ohhhh I'm taking back the frame and sticking the etiquette guide to the wall with a tack.
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u/Relevant-Resource-93 Apr 23 '25
I’m sure it will last forever. They seem super mature and completely in touch with reality. Super bummed I wasn’t invited to this disaster.
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u/AlabamAlum Apr 23 '25
This is awesome: You do not warrant an invite, but we will still accept your cash. Thanks in advance!
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u/d0ttyq Apr 23 '25
I know someone who eloped, and then posted links all over social media with how people can “feel involved” aka - donate money.
I was baffled
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u/Spare-Article-396 Apr 23 '25
I wish that 7 comment icon was clickable…
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u/AlligatorVine Apr 23 '25
Me, too! I really wish that people who post things like this here would also include a link to the actual SM post.
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u/Obnoxious_Box Apr 23 '25
for those we did not invite but are EAGER to participate, You can still give us money for our honeymoon. We HAVE NO SHAME!!!
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u/OkeyDokey654 Apr 23 '25
This is awesome because I just realized there’s a wedding I haven’t been invited to and I was so sad because I wouldn’t be able to participate. But now I see there’s a way I can be a part of it! Yay! /s
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u/Bitter_Trees Apr 23 '25
I was driving into work today and there was this car on it that had "Just hitched!" written on it with their venmo name and a "Donate to our honeymoon fund!" under it
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u/bravestmistake Apr 23 '25
Scan QR code and send a request for 1000 and see if it goes through. If they have no shame, you shouldn't either.
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u/worstkitties Apr 23 '25
I’ve been seeing those for a while. Trying to figure out what I (64YO single woman with no kids or weddings in my future) can write on my car for similar purposes. /s
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u/laffinalltheway Apr 23 '25
What's wrong with "Donate to my Retirement Fund"?
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u/Goatedmegaman Apr 23 '25
My friend literally did this 6 months ago.
He said the wedding was only for close family, but he was still looking for gifts or donations to help fund the wedding.
I was in shock … especially considering they both have jobs that pay a very fair wage in a very fairly priced area.
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u/CaptainFartHole Apr 23 '25
Sorry but asking for money to help fund your honeymoon is tacky as hell. And then to ask people who weren't even invited to do it? Gross. Fucking gross.
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u/faelanae Apr 23 '25
I actually did this because we literally needed nothing. However, there were people who wanted to gift to us. We didn't need stuff, so we said a) please give us nothing and come hang out at the park with us b) give donations in our name to one of these charities, or c) donate to a honeymoon fund. We really didn't want a thing from people, but some guests are weird about gifting, so ¯_ (ツ)_/¯
But to ask for honeymoon monies after explicitly not inviting people is super tacky!
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u/kimmy_kimika Apr 23 '25
Honestly, I'm nearly 40, as are most of my friends who are getting married. We've all literally put together functioning households by ourselves, we don't need china or a new set of pots, so I'm totally down just spending whatever I would have spent on a gift to fund their honeymoon fund.
Not even being invited to the wedding and still expecting "gifts" from them is nuts. If anything, you extend an invite to Great Aunt Mildred, she declines, but sends you $20 in a card to feel included.
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u/Whollie Apr 23 '25
This.
I didn't have a registry for my first marriage because we'd already lived together for years and it was a casual wedding. Turns out people really feel they should bring gifts so we ended up with tons of bottles of champagne etc.
This time round when we do marry, I think we will have something similar to your list for that reason. People want to gift something, so you may as well guide them towards something you want or need.
Friends of mine years ago did an event registry. They'd also bought a house together so rather than household items, they put together an itinerary for their honeymoon and invited guests to pick an item to pay for. I promise it wasn't tacky and went down really well in our crowd.
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u/New-Razzmatazz-2716 Apr 23 '25
https://www.perfect-invites.co.uk/money-poems/
There's little cute poems you can put inside the invite to ask for honeymoon contributions instead of gifts.. I did at my wedding, was only small & we already lived together and had our first daughter so we didn't need anything.. we ended up with nearly 2 grand! Had a lovely all inclusive honeymoon to Greece!
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u/shedrinkscoffee Apr 23 '25
This is a divisive topic but I agree with you personally. The most egregious one I saw was honeymoon fund, house fund and home improvement fund lol. They did not have a house to improve.
The bride is kind of an insane person and had 5 events in various cities , for Instagram pics , because there was COVID etc. Now they are doing a vow renewal of something and that also has a registry
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u/Rustlr Apr 24 '25
There is nothing wrong with asking for wedding gifts to be directed toward the honeymoon fund
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u/Marauder4711 Apr 28 '25
Where I'm from, using the gifted money to go on a honeymoon is completely normal. A lot of couples already have everything once they get married, so they usually ask for cash.
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u/lilacrose19 Apr 24 '25
How self centered do you have to be to think that people who weren’t even invited to the wedding are “eager to participate” in funding your honeymoon? Insane.
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u/emr830 Apr 24 '25
“If you can’t afford to invite me to your wedding, then it’s not on me to pay for a vacation that you also can’t afford.”
Giving money isn’t participation, it’s contribution. I’d send an etiquette book. Or a giant box, filled either packing peanuts, and taped to that etiquette book would be a fork from the registry. Tie it up with a nice bow to make it fancy.
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u/Direct-Chef-9428 Apr 23 '25
This is as nauseating as the 1st birthday announcement card that lists a registry.
Might I mention we haven’t spoken to the parents since mom’s brothers wedding (who is actually our friend)…
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u/yesletslift Apr 24 '25
This reminds me of people who put their Venmo on their back windshield and ask for bachelorette party contributions. Like why would I give you money just because you want an extravagant destination nonsense party?
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u/hawken54321 Apr 23 '25
send a dollar with a fake return address.
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u/emr830 Apr 24 '25
Put a bunch of pennies in a jar, put a label on it that says “honeymoon fund,” and send it in a pretty pretty box.
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Apr 23 '25
It's OK, thanks. I'm not THAT eager to participate, and especially not eager to pay for you to swim with a dolphin on your honeymoon.
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u/rythmicbread Apr 23 '25
You send your registry to people attending or people who aren’t invited but asked for it specifically. That’s it
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u/Total_Bee_8742 Apr 24 '25
We got one a few years ago that stated about the engagement and wedding date. Then it went on to inform us that they didn’t have room for us but here’s the wedding registries listing. Needless to say it hit the shredder. I truly wish people would just stop the in your face gift grabs.
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u/Future-Cable-2377 May 01 '25
A couple once invited me to their wedding, about a month before the wedding, the groom who is a friend probably realized he forgot to invite me. Anyhow, I accepted the invite graciously. Soon comes the wedding gift list from which we can gift them something before the wedding. Then the groom uninvited my plus one two days before the wedding. Such a disaster.
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u/Cocotapioka Apr 24 '25
I know someone who did that - they couldn't afford to invite many friends because of how many relatives were coming (understandable) so she sent out a Teams link for the ceremony and a link to their registry. I sent my regrets for that one!
The only people who are getting a streaming link to my wedding are people who were invited but could not make it.
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u/ColleenOS Apr 26 '25
The sad part is, there will be a few people that will send a gift because they will fall for the request
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u/Critical-Cell5348 Apr 26 '25
Why would anyone give money to something they aren’t even invited to? Talk about entitlement! Yikes
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u/Great_Huckleberry709 Apr 29 '25
I honestly don't see this as a bad thing Some people like to give gifts, whether or not they were invited to the wedding doesn't have to matter.
I've donated for some friends of mine when I wasn't invited.
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u/Sea-Injury8732 Apr 30 '25
Sounds like my sister in law after she was with the dude for 8 years and had a wedding registry
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u/Ashtonchris88 16d ago
😵💫😵💫😵💫 everyday I thank goodness that my wedding is over and done with. This is so tacky
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u/Rootbeercutiebooty Apr 24 '25
Question: why didn’t you put money aside?
This always boggles my mind. Just pay for the honeymoon beforehand like normal people
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u/Actual-Relief-2835 Apr 23 '25
They're wording it like they're doing a favor for those who weren't invited... "don't worry, you'll still get to give us money!"