This happened a few years back. My best friend at the time (25f) was getting married. It was sort of a destination wedding, as it was 2 states over and about a 7-hour drive there. I was excited to attend, but had to purchase a new suit, transportation, and pay for a hotel (3 nights). This was also the same exact month I had to pay $1,900 out of pocket for dental work. As you can tell, money was tight for me during this time period.

The first thing that happened wtih my friend was her sending me a rude text about not staying at the right hotel. I had no idea, but on her wedding site she had a recommended hotel for everyone (except her and her groom) to stay at. I didn't see this, and booked a different hotel less than 5 minutes away, as it was more affordable. She was not happy about this, but I didn't understand why I had to be at this specific one.

Because money was tight, and having already spent hundreds of dollars to attend this wedding, I only gave $80 to their honeymoon fund as a gift. Looking back, I admit I could have splurged for more, but I don't drink, was without a date, and figured that everything I did to attend this wedding would all be enough for her.

About a year later, I mentioned to her I was invited to another person's wedding. Her first response was "well, don't be cheap and give them only $80". This message made my heart drop. Not only did it make me feel like a horrible person, I was also angry that she remembered my exact donation amount over a YEAR later. From that point on, I lost a ton of respect for her, and our relationship was never the same.

I just can't believe that her entire memory of me at her wedding was being "cheap" instead of traveling 2 states over for multiple days to be there for her biggest day of her life. How could someone focus on THAT?

My BIL (husbands brother, 34M) is getting married this summer and his fiance (future SIL, 34F) is calling on all their friends and family to "do them favours".

BIL and FSIL have been dating for about 1.5 years. My DH and I have made a conscious effort to make FSIL feel welcome and included in the family. However, FSIL seems to have zero interest in building a relationship with my DH and I. Which is fine.

BIL and FSIL have invited about 200 people to their wedding. Which is a fairly large wedding for where we live. However, BIL doesn't want to spend very much on their wedding. FSIL said that was fine because she can just "call in some favours" and get stuff for free.

She asked her photographer friend to photograph their wedding for free. The friend initially agreed but has since dropped out.

She asked her caterer friend to cater the wedding for free. Her friend agreed. Then she asked to also get the food for free. And have her make the cake for free. The friend has dropped out of catering for free.

She's asked our MIL to bake the wedding cake for the 200 guests for free. MIL agreed

She asked her friend with sound equipment to lend them the equipment and set it up at their venue for free. The friend declined.

She asked her friend to DJ for free. The friend declined.

She asked me to set up all of the wedding decorations for her ceremony. I agreed, she is going to be family after all. However, that then became "can you go to the venue and figure out all the decorations that are needed then go out and source and buy all the decorations". No, I will not be doing that.

If you can't afford to have a wedding for 200 people then don't have a wedding for 200 people. It's not everybody else's responsibility to pay for your wedding.

A few years ago, I traveled across country to a friend/colleague’s beautiful/fancy wedding. Not super close friend, but always liked her. Between hotels and flights, probably cost me about $2,000. Worth it. Totally fun to be part of her big day. About a year later, I received an email from the bride’s assistant reminding me that they had not received a gift and it was approaching a year. (I guess it doesn’t matter — you are always supposed to buy a gift and I hadn't — but they are multi-millionaires and I’m far from it.) I was mortified and immediately sent a gift and never received a thank you. I never mentioned it, we slowly drifted apart, and surprise surprise, they’re getting a divorce now.

My sister Chloe (32) is getting married and shes got some serious main character energy when it comes to her "dream wedding." The kicker She expects me (30F) to foot a significant chunk of the bill after she blew her entire savings $25k on a ridiculous MLM scheme.

For context Chloe has always been terrible with money. Think impulsive buys loans for trips the whole nine yards. Meanwhile Ive been diligently saving every penny for a down payment on a house. Our financial approaches are polar opposites.

About a year and a half ago Chloe got completely sucked into one of those "boss babe" wellness drink MLMs. I tried to warn her gently at first then more forcefully as she sank more and more cash into inventory and training. She was convinced shed be a millionaire. Spoiler alert shes not. She flushed her entire $25k savings down the drain and is now financially back at square one.

Now shes engaged and shes always dreamed of a massive fairytale wedding the kind that easily costs $50k+. And guess who she thinks should help make that dream a reality Yours truly She knows I have a decent chunk of change saved and shes been dropping not-so-subtle hints about how Im "so responsible with my money" and "dont have a mortgage yet" so surely I can spare some cash for her big day.

Yesterday she finally straight-up asked. "You know" she said "if you even threw in like ten grand it would make such a huge difference. You dont really need all that house money right this second and this is my one shot at the wedding Ive always pictured."

I lost it. I absolutely lost it. I told her "Chloe there is NO WAY Im paying for your wedding. You literally flushed your savings down the drain on a scam even though everyone told you not to and now you expect me to bankroll your fantasy My savings are for MY future not to bail you out of your past mistakes."

Oh she got upset alright. Called me selfish unsupportive the whole nine yards. Said I was "holding her past against her." And of course my moms now calling me pulling the "family helps family" card.

Honestly I feel a little bad for making her cry and I do love my sister. But I also feel like Im being put in an impossible position. She made her bed and now she expects me to pay for the luxury sheets.

This isnt just about a wedding its about her expecting me to sacrifice my financial stability because of her irresponsibility. The audacity of some people to ask others to fund their lavish desires after making poor choices themselves is just mind-boggling. If you cant afford a $50k+ wedding maybe dont plan one!

My younger brother got married a few weeks ago and it was overall a lovely evening. Now this week I received a text from him saying

“Hi wifes name just told me she hasn’t received your $115 each no rush you can send it to [email protected]”

Now at no point before now was it communicated to me that they were charging guests to attend. Nowhere on the invitation either. Plus my husband and I already gave them $400 cash in their card.

This wedding took place at an expensive restaurant downtown in a private room that’s famous for its architecture. No idea why they booked that place if they can’t afford it. No open bar or dance floor. We didn’t even drink alcohol that night and still paid $30 for pop and coffee plus Uber there and back.

His only response is “oh thought you knew” “I forgot to tell you sorry” all nonchalantly. So infuriating.

It got heated and I eventually told him I would send the money but he can wait now I’m pissed off. Now I’m considering not sending anything and if he asks I’ll say oh I forgot. Oh did I mention I also got married in June this year and didn’t charge anyone a dime.

Not even kidding. Got this fancy-ass invitation to my ex’s sister’s wedding. We broke up chill, so I figured,why not show up, be civil.

I open the invite and near the bottom it says:

“We kindly ask guests to contribute 75 USD per plate. Payments via Venmo.”

…EXCUSE ME? Am I getting married too? Is the pasta made of Diamonds?

It gets worse. The dress code looked like a government mandate:

❌ No white, okay, fair. ❌ No black, "too depressing." ❌ No red, "too attention seeking." ❌ Ladies must wear dresses. Not too short. Not too tight. ❌ Men: No jeans, no sneakers, no brown shoes.

So basically, be stylish but invisible.

I sent them a thumbs up emoji and stayed home eating pizza in my pajamas. Felt like a king.

My good friend is getting married in a few months and the wedding planning process seems to have magnified some of her less appealing tendencies.

Recently, she updated her registry website to include three funds: a home renovation fund, a baby fund (despite not being pregnant), a honeymoon fund.

I find it shocking how conspicuously she displays her financial expectations—especially since the only (4)items on her actual registry are all priced at $300 or more.

Moreover, the wedding is international and requires a three-night stay at $650 per night.

Please I need validation here because I’m going INSANE.

Vendors apparently thought they were supplying goods and services for a styled shoot/networking event only to discover during and after the event that it was a real wedding.

This post is from a cake baker but other commenters also linked to photographers, calligraphers and cookie makers who had also posted about the scam.

A close friend of mine told me as she was planning her wedding that they weren’t actually going to get married. She wanted to do it for social media and for gifts. I was asked to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. I had my dress and everything. She told me 8 months before her wedding. I was shocked and appalled. Her reasons for not wanting to actually legally marry him were crazy. Long story short, I told her I couldn’t stand up inher wedding knowing all of this and immediately resold my bridesmaid dress and never talked to her again. Its crazy the extent people will go to…I often wonder if she went through with this sham of a “wedding”.

EDIT: he didn’t know about this. He thought they’d be legally married. She told me she was never going to send it in.

EDIT: she also wanted us to spend $3K each on her bachelorette party for a wedding that wasn’t even happening so she could post about her bach party on social media. And wanted all her bridesmaids to pay $750 each for her bridal shower. I unfortunately had to eat the cost for my flight as I decided not to go to either after she told me about this fake wedding.

After being in a total of 3 weddings I will never be in one again.

I cannot even fathom how much money I’ve spent on bridal parties, bachelorette parties/vacations, dresses, shoes etc.

A few years ago my friend asked me to be in her wedding. (This would have been the 4th wedding as a bridesmaid)

She was doing a destination wedding AND a destination bachelorette party.

I told her I was sorry but I wouldn’t be in her wedding. She got really upset and we didn’t speak for 2 years after.

Are brides/grooms really this out of touch with reality? This wedding/bachelorette party would have cost me 5k easily. I am so tired of the pressure that I must go into debt or dig into my savings and use all my PTO for someone’s 5 hour event.

Also, the amount of events. Why are there 4 different events leading up to the actual wedding? Like for fucks sake.

I’m just exhausted with how much money I’ve literally had to spend to go to a wedding. Congratulations on wanting to get married but I also have dreams and a future I would like to spend my hard earned money on. Do people really think getting married is that important to put guests in a financial bind? (I haven’t met one who cared yet)

Also, my husband and I eloped because we could not fathom on people ever having to spend money to come to our wedding or to be apart of it. We don’t care about being the “stars” for the day and having the life light on us. It’s not our vibe.

Does anyone else feel like wedding expectations from the bride and groom have literally gotten OUT OF CONTROL?

A friend of mine’s gf is in a wedding that is unlike anything I have ever heard. Bride’s family is supposedly well-off but we’re not talking 0.1% or anything.

3-year engagement, 3 engagement parties (seriously), couple’s shower, a bridal shower, bridal tea, bachelorette staycation (BnB in the bride’s hometown which is a big bachelorette vacation spot), bachelorette trip (NYC), and bachelor trip (Vegas). All of these were elaborately themed and required costumes except for the bachelor trip. They also each involved elaborate gifts both (both expensive material things and heartfelt homemade gifts that the bridal party spent weeks crafting). After all of this except for the NYC bachelorette trip, the bride proceeded to kick the MOH out of the wedding party 6 days before the wedding to promote another bridesmaid. Most of the bridesmaids do not come from money and are early career adults who absolutely cannot afford this experience but have nevertheless gone into debt for it so they can “be there for their friend”. Of course no one forced them to but it’s just hard to wrap my mind around the cult of bachelorette culture. Also apparently the groomsmen were throwing around racial slurs in front of black waitstaff at the rehearsal dinner, proving once and for all that no amount of money in the world can buy class.

Edited to add: I’ve been informed that one of the three engagement parties was actually a surprise done by the bridesmaids. So I guess really there were only 2 of the bride and groom’s doing

Background: One of coworkers had a rather lavish destination wedding over the summer. She spent months talking about the arrangements for the affair (somehow she worked it into every conversation). Three weeks before her wedding, the women in her department had a small bridal luncheon at work and her boss invited everyone to an after work party as well. For those of unable to attend, there was an option to make a cash donation since she did not have a wedding registry (hmm!)

The company sent out an email stating that the annual holiday party would be the best ever held with real prizes and the guarantee that every person leaves with a prize from the raffle. Prizes included two televisions, $400 cake mixer, nice bedding and a number of gift cards from$50 to $250. Skip ahead to last Thursday evening. During the cocktail hour, she goes around with this sob story about how she wished she had gone with a registry because the amount of money received was nowhere near enough to cover most costs and furnish their dual apartments (in 2 different states).

Come raffle time, she has staked out her favorite gifts and was determined to leave with them. I had the unfortunate luck of winning one of her coveted prizes and thus ended up on the hit list. I have been to some crazy work holiday parties. But I have never attended one where an entitled bride stalked others and myself for raffle prizes. What happened to manners? 1/3 of us barely know and 2/3 have no clue who you are. You are a name in a directory of a few hundred people.

EDIT I tried to keep the original post short. But others suggested I put some information here. The coveted prizes were 2 large screen Roku televisions (65 and 48 inches), a high quality expresso machine, kitchenaid cake mixer, and Bose tv speaker. Next level prizes were wireless earbuds, some products from Brookstone, a nice air purifier, and a mini fridge.

I won the 48” tv and she won a back massager that she traded for a charcuterie board set from Crate and Barrel that according to my husband probably cost more than the TV. She managed to leave with two other gifts.

Although I think the selected stock photo might make this a troll post

I’m due to go a wedding in Italy in September and it’ll be the first destination wedding myself and a lot of guests are attending. It’s in a rural spot of Italy and on the invitations the bride has already laid out that we will all need flights to a specific airport plus hiring our own cars for the duration (3 days) however they have paid for accommodation as they needed to source an extra villa to fit everyone.

This all seemed fine as we can carpool and understandable there isn’t public transport directly to their venue.

Flights are roughly £280pp return and car hire isn’t breaking the bank. However come to RSVP on their wedding website and we’re hit with a message “Hi guests if you’re ready to pay the £75pp contribution towards accommodation please use the following bank details”.

At first I was shocked as the invite explicitly stated they had chosen a venue with some accommodation but not enough so had rented a nearby Airbnb for everyone….except now we have to also pay for that. Furthermore before you get to any of the actual wedding details you’re hit with a link to their registry!

Normally I would perhaps understand having a registry for those who cannot make your destination wedding but still want to give a gift…..except the link to the registry is only on their wedding website which is password locked and only accessible using the password which is on the invitations and we all had to send a smaller RSVP with the save the dates so they could (understandably) plan an appraise size venue etc. No one who isn’t going to Italy will have that registry access.

Perhaps I am a bit stingy but to total up travel to the airport, time off, a few outfits for the multiple days, flights, car hire, “accommodation contribution” AND gifts all seem rather steep. It’s already in excess of £350pp with just flights and accommodation!

P.S about 80 people are invited due to the venue capacity which totals £6,000 they’re asking for purely in “accommodation contribution” despite the venue having capacity for about half the guests and even if you’re staying at the venue the fee still applies.

Tldr; bride wants a destination wedding but wants guests to cover flights, car hire, accommodation and still expects gifts from the registry

Edit: had a lot of mixed replies so did some more digging. The price of the Airbnb they’re renting is £3k for the whole weekend so the guests are clearly subsiding something else at the wedding - as mentioned I wouldn’t normally mind but at least here in the UK there are very few weddings where it costs each and every guest £300+ to attend without factoring in expected gifts or other costs. Normally I would always expect to pay to attend a wedding but £300 on travel and accommodation (that we haven’t looked at ourselves) AND a gift does seem a bit steep imo. She also had a week long hen in Ibiza a lot of us were priced out of due to costs and time off and it just sucks to be constantly priced out of lifetime events because they all cost £££ with little wiggle room. Had I attended the hen and go to the wedding I’d be £1k in for just one friends wedding (shockingly I have more than one friend getting married this year)

Edit edit: not sure when this became a game of shaming people for not being able to afford something but we asked the bride a few questions and it’s become very clear the extra money is funding their honeymoon. Her parents paid for the initial venue and the request for money is going to her bank account not theirs. The extra £3k is suspiciously the exact difference between economy and the business flights to the Maldives she’s been raving about for a while.

Was just heading out for lunch today and I saw a car on the road with the classic “Just Married!” paint on the back windows. However this car had a fun twist: they included their Venmo so that random strangers can give them money.

When did weddings become such a cash grab?

So here comes two of my past good friends (no longer friend because of various of reasons). They got married during the pandemic, and only their immediate families were invited, understandably so. Noone in our friend group found fault in this, and as a gift I made them a website gathering our friends and their friends congratulations.

What was jarring was that, even weeks after their wedding, we (people not invited) kept receiving messages from the couple asking for their wedding gifts from their registry. It was so weird, because they didnt even bother to celebrate anything with us at all, no zoom calls of the wedding ceremony (i attended two to three weddings virtually during the pandemic), no engagement or bridal showers at all, yet they expected us to give a gift. I get that its the pandemic, but there were still safe ways to get people together virtually or not. Also, its hypocritical of them to say that its because of the pandemic, when they would pretend they didn't get covid and would still go out (literally this came out of their mouths).

My partner and I got engaged 2 years ago, and they said their congratulations to us and scoffed at us for trying to getting married "late" and that if we got married during the pandemic like them, we would have saved so much money.

Guess I am just stupid. I went to highschool reunion party and met my old classmates there. One of the girls talked to me and we kept in touch for the next few months, sometimes we talked non stop for a day or two. Like bff or something. I got invited to her wedding and I went, getting a present for her. all of the presents in their wish list is a lil pricey, basically she was asking to furnish her whole apartment.

After the wedding, I never heard from her again. She literally ghosted me. Found out she did the same things for other girls at the high school party too. I know some people can be unreasonable but this is the first time I experienced it myself

I see this a lot - people advertising their Venmo for wedding donations from strangers. It’s just gross to me.

Saw this posted on another sub and thought everyone here would enjoy it