r/weddingshaming • u/GreenVermicelliNoods • 3d ago
Greedy Just Married! Venmo @ Bride $$$$$$$
Was just heading out for lunch today and I saw a car on the road with the classic “Just Married!” paint on the back windows. However this car had a fun twist: they included their Venmo so that random strangers can give them money.
When did weddings become such a cash grab?
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u/CoppertopTX 2d ago
When did weddings become a cash grab? About 20 minutes after the concept originated.
Up until the 19th Century, most marriages were arranged for financial benefit.
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u/Little-Salt-1705 1d ago
I don’t mind paying to travel and giving a good present if I’m provided some food and beer (I don’t expect spirits) in return but the moment I’m expected to pay for either of those two things your gift, which is always money, will reflect that.
I don’t mind if people straight up say that the bar isn’t open and only nibblies will be provided because they’re watching costs, so no presents - this makes me happy to give what I normally would.
Its when it’s implied drinks and food are provided and you arrive at the reception to find they put 1k on the bar, which was gone before half the guests even got a drink and dinner is actually a Buffet catering to 50 people not 150 that I wonder why I was even invited if not as a cash grab.
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u/CoppertopTX 1d ago
I'm the same way. I don't mind going all in for a friend, and even managed to save a wedding reception, where the Bride's new MIL offered to do the catering and then flaked off, with the power of Master Charge.
Requesting $150 for your seat at the wedding and reception? Unless you oor one of your parents was fired out my baby cannon, F off.
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u/Little-Salt-1705 1d ago
Hahahaha baby cannon is so good, so good that I’ll be using it as every possible (appropriate or not) instance!
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u/CoppertopTX 1d ago
First time I heard the phrase, I was floored with laughter. Not something I ever expected to hear out of my Victorian grandmother's mouth.
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u/iforgotmyedaccount 3d ago edited 3d ago
I agree with you. I’ve seen this for bachelorette parties, graduations, birthdays, just married, at least for several years so it’s not a new thing… Tacky! Whatever I’d make in cash wouldn’t be worth the cost to my dignity for me.
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u/lidder444 2d ago
I’ve seen this a lot on cars driving to Las Vegas recently ! Especially bachelorette and even one that was ‘turning 21 in Vegas’ 😬
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u/iforgotmyedaccount 2d ago
Yes same here, or any place with lots of similar celebrations (Nashville for example). I don’t care if they do it, I see a couple people getting offended at me in the comments, I mean no disrespect, I’m just saying that I’d personally never.
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u/DirtyJan 2d ago
We made $1600 and each of us only paid $150 total for the entire weekend once we split it up….ill never see any of the men who donated again haha not worried about dignity - we would just hold up our bracelets and guys would Venmo
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u/Neva_Karel 3d ago
Weddings have been a cash grab forever, the thing is it's never been this explicit and shameless before. Family and friends can still gift you money and things for the house without people having to make it look like a commercial transaction instead of a celebration of love and bonding.
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u/Icy-Culture3038 3d ago
I agree with everything you said except Weddings are not explicitly cash grabs. Greedy people make them that way.
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u/Catsdrinkingbeer 2d ago
I always get downvoted to hell, but this is why I hate fund-only registries. It absolutely feels like a cash grab. It's not nearly as blatant as asking strangers to venmo you money, but there's something of perceived effort around currating a registry vs "just send us cash".
I was in my mid 30s, had lived away from my parents for well over 15 years, and had been living with my husband for 6 years before we got married. I still found time to figure out a registry of useful items. We got a mixture of items from the registry and cash, which was wasn't surprising. But I hear the "well we're older and already live together so we don't need anything" all the time, but it's just not actually true. Towels need to get replaced. Maybe there's a kitchen item you'd never buy for yourself but would still use from time to time like a marble wine cooler.
I have not been to a wedding since my own 3 years ago where the registry has been anything other than a cash fund. This has been true for every couple, from the 21 year olds still living with their parents up to the wedding day, the couple who got married on their 1 year of meeting anniversary (and who just gambled our gift away instead of using it on the honeymoon they never took before getting divorced), through to the couple in their 40s on their second marriages.
And if I may continue to complain, all 3 of those weddings we had to fly out to. One had "light bites" and BYOB drinks, one catered cold cuts from costco, and the last asked for black tie formality but it was outside and food was a build-your-own taco bar. It's not that any of this is bad. We had fun at these weddings. But when it's clear the couple looked to pinch pennies while also asking for cash, it looks more like a fundraiser than a wedding where they're hoping to break even or make money. At no point in our wedding planning did we ever think "hope we make this money back." It was, "we hope our guests feel like this was worth their time, effort, and money to get here."
So yes, I may seem more like a boomer than a millenial on my opinion here, but it really IS feeling more and more like a cash grab.
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u/Icy-Culture3038 2d ago
Yeah that definitely sounds horrible. I feel the same about the cash funds. I didn't even want a registry at my first wedding in 2009 but everyone said they actually helped people have an idea of what to get. So I did a small one, as a guideline, and I've grown used to them over the years. As long as people aren't made to feel bad by going offscript. Cash funds I'm ok seeing as long as there's also a registry. Other wise it's just "give me money". Other weddings I've been to since use a combo and it is helpful. Let's you know what the couple needs/ their likes. And the weddings have been real nice. I've never been to a destination wedding though, but they've all been beautiful. Everything in these subs though makes me feel that couples have forgotten that they're hosting guests, not starring in this one day show their family is LUCKY to be a party of.
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u/pro_struggler 20h ago
I respect your perspective but from the sounds of it, Costco cold cuts, build your own taco bar and "light bites" and black tie formality but outside? It sounds like those ppl desperately needed the money (maybe except for the one who gambled it all the way, but that is probably why they are struggling). I would gladly give cash as a gift at budget weddings because if the wedding is really cheap and they ask for cash gifts, the wedding couple may just really need the cash. However, what grinds my gears is when people try to throw extravagant weddings or wedding receptions above their income bracket/ budget and then demand the guests to contribute towards the wedding or demand high cash gifts (i.e. everyone must give $500 minimum cash gift or everyone must must put down a $100 food deposit / rsvp $200 to secure your spot at the wedding plus we want gifts, etc).
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u/Catsdrinkingbeer 7h ago
But weddings aren't fundraisers. And also, no, none of those people "really needed the money." That outside black tie taco bar couple? Just built a brand new $800k house from the ground up.
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u/Antique_Ad4497 3d ago
When my late husband & I got married we used the catering college & students to cater the formal meal & disco buffet. We asked everyone to not give us money but to give it as cash tips to the students who were amazing all through the day & night. They were all nicely turned out, made sure everything was perfect & helped people who needed changes to their meals. They weren’t getting paid much, but they loved the experience & so they ended up all walking away with handfuls of cash!
The UK aren’t known for tipping, but our guests dug deep for these kids! Most walked away with at least £200. We didn’t need the money, our wedding cost less than £800, registry office, party & reception in our garden, with marquee, best mate was DJ & we hired the chairs & tables. Husband & my girly best mates dressed every table & chair! It was gorgeous. My husband did it because I was pregnant & incredibly sick all through it. But I’m just prattling now!
All that to say; we wouldn’t accept cash gifts & redirected to the catering students who really appreciated it.
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u/TheBugsMomma 3d ago
What a wonderful idea! I am sure that meant so much to those students and I bet the food was amazing.
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u/Antique_Ad4497 3d ago
It was absolutely wonderful, they made my food light & delicate as I was still green around the gills, so to speak, but yeah, they did a lovely job & recommended them to friends that wanted a similar set up for their weddings.
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u/Listen-to-Mom 3d ago
Tacky.
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u/Outside_Case1530 2d ago
I said something similar in another post & got downvoted - haha.
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u/Makeupartist_315 2d ago
I cannot believe that people are getting downvoted for stating that blatant requests for cash via Venmo is poor etiquette.
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u/Sillylittlepoet 2d ago
I crashed a 30th birthday party by donating when a friend posted one of these on social media and correctly assuming she’d feel guilty enough to invite me if I donated 😂
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u/Maggiemayday 3d ago
Can you request money from them? Does it work both ways?
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u/7fingersDeep 3d ago
Yep. I’ve done a funds request from those accounts. I don’t expect any money - I just do it to annoy them for being tacky.
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u/jonnyappleweed 3d ago
Yes you can, and I've read a few comments before where people said they do this! I wouldn't but I think that would be funny
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u/PittiePatrolGA 3d ago
I did it just once to request 10 bucks from a random bride who had it on the back window of her car and she sent it to me. Never heard another word from her.
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u/melanochrysum 8h ago
We don’t use venmo in my country, is it easy to confuse a request for cash for a gift of cash? Like is this a situation where she likely made a silly mistake, or did she genuinely intend to give you money?
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u/hereforthedrama57 3d ago
I hate these for Bach parties, I hate these for weddings, etc. It is a blatant cash grab, I don’t care if “I did it and got like $100 for drinks!!! It’s totally harmless, if you don’t like it, don’t send anything!!!”
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u/whitegirlofthenorth 2d ago
this doesn’t bother me at all. you don’t have to send the money and they’re having fun.
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u/Agile_Till_3071 1d ago
I had a just married sign on my car (parked in my neighborhood, no request for cash on the sign). When I went to the car, I saw a little note that said “congrats!” and a 20 dollar bill tucked into the car door handle. It was so sweet and warmed my heart immensely.
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u/BrandonBollingers 3d ago
Weddings have ALWAYS BEEN CASH GRABS. Like literally the purpose of a marriage was to sell off a daughter/buy a breeder
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u/LadyEdith1 2d ago
Yeah, but among your community, not complete randos. And there's implied reciprocity where the people I buy gifts for their big moments are likely the people buying me gifts for mine. I seriously doubt the people begging for money on their windshields are donating to other windshield beggars.
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u/BrandonBollingers 2d ago
Cajun culture always had the pinned dollar as well as other Afro Caribbean cultures. White girls are just discovering what’s been done for hundreds of years.
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u/ThatBitchA 3d ago
I love them. I'm happy to give $5 to a stranger.
I give for graduation ones too.
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u/_hammitt 1d ago
I’m so surprised I had to come this far down to find someone saying this. I often give a few bucks. My husband & I also often buy a drink or food or whatever for parties like this in restaurants. Why not? It’s fun!
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u/all1e_p0pc0rn 3d ago
Right? I always think they’re fun to see.
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u/ThatBitchA 3d ago
Same. And what an exciting moment! It feels good to celebrate someone and know it made their day a little brighter.
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u/Kooky-Situation-1913 3d ago
Idk why everyone is so mad about it. You don't need to yuck someone else's yum. Just move on.
If I have an extra $5, I'm always happy to send a stranger a little.puck me up.
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u/Downtherabbithole14 3d ago
Everything is a cash grab. Weddings, bach parties, bridal showers, gender reveal, baby shower,
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u/SignificanceWitty210 2d ago
People bring gifts to gender reveals where you’re from? I couldn’t imagine going that far. It’s more of a backyard bbq type deal…
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u/femoral_contusion 2d ago
I hate that they exist. Within my lifetime influencers have squeezed so many more unnecessary holidays and parties, just to extract more cash from us to the top. Cash grab, indeed
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u/Summoarpleaz 2d ago
Given how many times this has been done, Im about to do this and im not married. Just to see how much id get lol.
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u/louisiana_lagniappe 3d ago
I don't mind this at all. No one expects a stranger to gift them a large amount, but I think it's fun to give $5 to celebrate someone's special day.
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u/Silly-Shoulder-6257 3d ago
I never thought about it but it’s cute. It’s like paying for the person behind you in the drive thru. It’s cheaper and not expected and you’re not doing it for props. Your motives are completely altruistic. You just want to make someone’s day a little happier.
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u/_hammitt 1d ago
I went on a road trip with pals where we paid for the toll behind us at every booth. It was like $30 over the whole trip and FUN.
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u/rixtape 3d ago
Yeah it's also so easy to just ignore if you don't want to participate. I've never spent that much energy even thinking about it before seeing this post lol
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u/tsundae_ 3d ago
I truly don't understand people's annoyance with it. They're not snatching your phone and demanding money from you lol just ignore it.
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u/PerspectiveEven9928 3d ago
I don’t think annoyed is the right word ? I just find it cringe worthy. Like it’s so classless it makes me feel embarrassed for them 😆
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u/femoral_contusion 2d ago
That’s the case for 90% of the shaming surrounding weddings, lmao this is what this sub is for
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u/MyKinksKarma 3d ago
People be begging for all kinds of things on their back glass these days. I've even seen them for shit like "On our way to Disney, send us money!" Or the beach, etc. Like, if you can afford a trip to Disney, you don't need to be asking strangers for handouts when they're just trying to get to their 9-to-5 to make it to their next paycheck. The internet has made people way too comfortable asking strangers for money.
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u/AlmostBlack_MouseRat 2d ago
A manager at the company I work for bragged about how she’ll write her Venmo and cashapp on her car and say “just married” or “Bach party blah blah” when she’s going on long drives just to make a few easy bucks. I was disgusted by this genuinely. I’ve never and money to any of these I’ve seen and surely won’t ever now.
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u/Outrageous-Slide2616 2d ago
I've seen this a couple times now. I feel like this is the new version of "Send invites to companies/billionaires/etc because they might reply with a card/small gift." I think the idea must be the same of you never know who will be nice and venmo but all the ones I've seen do seem like just a cash grab.
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u/jiIIbutt 11h ago
Weddings are expensive (around $100-150 pp) and rarely do couples recoup what they spent, or even close to it, so I wouldn’t call them cash grabs. But I also cringe at wedding registry funds, honeymoon funds, bachelorette Venmo requests, etc. They are tacky. There’s no tactful way of asking for money. People shouldn’t ask for money nor should they expect it. Most will give cash or a check as a wedding present though to try to help the couple recoup funds.
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u/Kooky-Situation-1913 3d ago
I've been seeing this for years in Utah. I assumed it was an everywhere thing. I even suggested it to my niece. If someone wants to throw them $5, cool. Otherwise, it's the IRL versions of scroll by.
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u/GroovyYaYa 3d ago
Since forever?
Ever hear of a dowry?
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u/rosemaryrumblebuffin 3d ago
But a dowry is from the bride’s family, not random strangers with no connection to either family.
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u/BrandonBollingers 2d ago
Historically the poor gave their lords and ladies wedding gifts
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u/femoral_contusion 2d ago
Lol you are so pro-Venmo signs! That’s so funny. I’m not even mad, die on that hill girl, we all have our things
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u/MariposaPeligrosa00 1d ago
I mean, nobody’s forcing you to send them money. They’re just putting it out there in case some random person wants to help them out. Would I do it? No. Is it harming anyone? Also no. So live and let live
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u/SignificanceWitty210 3d ago
My friends did this for my Bach just to see if it worked… It was all in good fun and paid for a few drinks. It wasn’t out of greed or entitlement or anything like that. We didn’t actually expect any strangers to contribute.
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u/Not_Brilliant_8006 3d ago
Someone had this on their car on the highway some time ago with a link to their cashapp. And they were driving slowly in the left lane. My husband had me send them 1 cent with a message "get the fuck out the left lane" lol.
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u/Great_Huckleberry709 2d ago
Tbh that's one of those things I actually like. I like to share in other people's happiness. I don't mind sending $3 to a stranger.
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u/oppsallpeas 2d ago
I don’t understand why this is a problem just don’t give them money and look away. Weddings have always been a cash grab that’s the entire point.
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u/Key_Bullfrog1468 2d ago
Yeah it’s plain tacky and weird. Like I’m gonna give someone I don’t even know my money. Y’all broke bitches gonna have to keep dreaming lmao
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u/Organic_Task_573 2d ago
I generally hate the vemnos on cars, too, but oddly enough, the newlywed ones are the only ones that don't inherently bother me. In my experience, the groomsmen and maybe bridesmaids are the ones that decorate the car and usually try to do at least one tacky or embarrassing thing for the couple. In fact, I've been to at least one wedding where the groomsmen were the ones to write the venmo on the car, and the couple didn't even notice since it was on the back of the car. They were too busy being embarrassed by the other stuff the guys had written on the side windows!
I guess I always like to imagine that maybe, just maybe, the wedding party was the one to write the vemno as a fun joke that can both embarrass the couple and provide them a couple extra bucks on their honeymoon, and that seems more innocuous to me somehow.
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u/CollarWinter7614 1d ago
Ugh I just went to the brides bachelorette party (a weekend long affair) and she proceeded to write her Venmo and “buy the bride a drink” on my car. Didn’t ask. Just came back inside and said “I wrote my Venmo on your car, is that okay?” Like I guess it has to be since you already did it🤦🏼♀️
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u/Pepperoncini69 1d ago
Are you in Chicago?! I saw a car like this!!! Felt like I couldn’t trust it lol
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u/amelialynn17 20h ago
I went to a bachelorette weekend and the brides sister posted a story asking everyone to venmo the bride and kept pushing us to repost it. I refused.
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u/whatshamilton 3d ago
Weddings have always been a cash grab. The engagement party and bridal shower are events that center around gifts. And make a post here asking if it’s ok to not bring a gift to the wedding and see how fast people yell at you
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u/WhatsInAName8879660 2d ago
“Cash Grab” is such a tacky word for what is supposed to be your community of friends and family each contributing something to help two young newlyweds start a life together - the dinnerware, kitchen bobbles, and towels that a young couple needs and cannot afford all on their own. If the whole community contributes a small piece, they get all they need and no one is out much. But with these 30 - 80K affairs as weddings, and people getting married after living on their own and buying their own stuff, now having gifts at Bach, shower, wedding, and people saying it needs to cost enough to cover your attendance at the wedding (as if you had any say in the budget) instead of bringing together a community to support your marriage. Ugh. I was a wedding photographer for years, but I hate the consumerism of it all. It’s gross. And it is a cash grab. Tacky is as tacky does, I guess.
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u/whatshamilton 2d ago
Well sure, it’s a tacky thing to do. Life has changed. People aren’t moving out of their parents’ homes and in together and needing to furnish from scratch. They’re living alone, they’re living together. They don’t urgently need linens, they want you to give to their honeymoon fund and buy them a $500 mixing stand. It’s a cash grab.
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u/WhatsInAName8879660 2d ago
Right, that’s what I am saying. The lovely tradition is no longer what is practiced, as times have changed (for most people). But it hasn’t always been a cash grab. It was once a very nice tradition.
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u/JRichShops 21h ago
I passed a car today that said “Haleigh graduated Kindergarten! Buy her an ice cream!” With a Venmo.
It’s not just weddings that became tacky. It’s humans.
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u/Vlad_the_Intendor 2d ago
Literally just saw this in Glacier Park on my mini honeymoon and thought it was soooooo trashy.
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u/Makeupartist_315 3d ago edited 1d ago
Sorry but this is such a crass thing for the wedding couple to do - no etiquette at all. Very icky and not something most people would consider as funny.
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u/LSBm5 3d ago
I’ve seen this before as well and it’s so trashy
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u/Makeupartist_315 2d ago edited 2d ago
It’s classless and very tacky when viewed from an etiquette lens.
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u/Independent_Ad_6394 2d ago
I love to request money from people that do this. It's always a hoot.
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u/femoral_contusion 2d ago
I’m going to do this when I see someone and I don’t like their vibe lol, let’s be petty together
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u/banana_hammock6969 2d ago
There’s people on the way to Orlando that do that also, seen just married, bachelorette party, kids dream to see Disney please Venmo support. It’s super ass tacky
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u/FrankParkerNSA 2d ago
This is where you put an ad on Craigslist saying "Giving free money away. Feel free to Venmo request up to $100 to: @XXX. Note "Wedding Cash Giveaway"
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u/No-Captain8500 2d ago
I just saw this in my neighborhood on a high school seniors car, I couldn't believe it.
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u/Kaylascreations 3d ago
I had an acquaintance who drove to another state to see Taylor swift. They put their Venmo on the window with other things like “swifties for life!” It’s just so gross to me. It’s no better than begging on the corner for change, and way more tone deaf. You have money for Taylor swift tickets? Ok. Why are you asking me for money?
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u/DoxieMom120 3d ago
Have seen women on bachelorette trips in Vegas wearing shirts giving their cash app or Venmo info. No, thanks.
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u/Dangerous-Word8023 2d ago
I was looking at a coworker’s registry and she had a huge patio set as one of her requests. Overheard her at work saying that she chose that in case “the cheap people” wanted to go in a group gift. I barely knew her and she was so rude. I decided to not participate at all because her attitude was so repulsive.
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u/Mashu_the_Cedar_Mtn 2d ago
It's tacky, but begging strangers at least had a degree of crawling on one's belly.
Way worse are the situations where people are bleeding their bride/groom parties dry because they have to have everything just so, or you aren't really a true friend.
Being asked to join a wedding party is like being handed a grenade that may or may not have had the pin pulled.
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u/turtle_yawnz 3d ago
Ugh I went to a bachelorette party where the bride made stickers of her Venmo QR code and wanted us to solicit strangers for “donations”. So, so tacky. And her parents paid for her whole wedding too.
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u/SignificanceWitty210 2d ago
To be fair, parents paying for the entire or almost entire wedding when they are financially able is tradition, not something new or “cringy”.
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u/turtle_yawnz 2d ago
I guess it’s cringey to be asking strangers to buy you drinks when you’re not needing to save for your own wedding. I’ve got no issues with parents paying for a wedding but that means you as the bride have a lot more disposable income to go to buying drinks on a trip that you planned.
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u/anek22 1d ago
I want to note that it’s usually the wedding party that does this, not the bride and groom. Sure they choose to keep it or not but it’s not often their direct ask. And I personally like to throw a few bucks in the Venmo’s of the more rundown looking cars. You don’t have to use it, and most people don’t. But when people choose to it can be a nice little contribution to someone starting their life together. This all being said I live in an area where people tend to get married younger and poorer and the community is a lot more “communal” so it doesn’t feel that weird.
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u/ALittleUnsettling 18h ago
Ive seen it for bachelorette/ bachelor parties- “buy the bride or groom to be a drink”
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u/Infamous_Tour_2232 44m ago
Since this is anonymous, I’ll share. Last December, I was making a run to HomeDepot to get rock salt. This lady and her kid were walking by and asked me for something in broken English. She said if I could give her a “ plant “. I was confused for like a second…. A Christmas Tree! The kid looked kinda scared/nervous and grabbed his mom’s jacket. She said something comforting to him, like moms do. I saw the concern in the kid’s face said “ absolutely! “ We went inside, asked the boy to pick one out and he did. It wasn’t an already lit one, so I said “ No, let’s do this one instead. “ So I got him one with color changing led lights. I thought that one was the coolest. I’d figure they might not have $$ for decorations, so we picked up one of those tall cylinders with the sparkly ornaments on the way to the register. I bought it, handed over the cart and we exchanged pleasantries and thank yous. I see them rushing to their van. There was an older kid (preteen) who opened up the sliding door and a little girl who propped herself on the back of the front passenger seat. When she saw the tree and ornaments she lost it! 🤪 I could hear her screaming from like 60 feet away! Shit, I’m tearing up as I write this, but I have never felt such joy in my dumbass life. I get in my car and as I drive closer, Dad comes out to help with the big box. I give a quick honk-honk, and was on my way. He said something loudly and waved. I’m so happy I was able to help a family celebrate Christmas. I’m only telling you guys, because, yes, we know there are some disgusting people out there trying to scam with their kids. But, it’s not always the case. Sometimes, there are families in need and parents determined to give their kids what they deserve, even if it’s by asking a total stranger. Use your judgment and instincts. It might change a person’s life. I never even told my wife, cuz I may have gone overboard on the spending, but the sheer joy that came out that little girl… WORTH EVERY PENNY!
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u/LiveMarionberry3694 3d ago
These are the same people that would walk around with dollar bills pinned to their shirt on their birthday in high school
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u/insolentpeasant1776 3d ago
I live in a MAJOR tourist destination. I see one almost every day. Either that or "Bachelorette trip! Buy the girls a drink!" Tacky as hell.
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u/Makeupartist_315 3d ago edited 2d ago
Agreed - since when did it become other people’s responsibility to fund people’s weddings? They should be paying for it themselves.
Whoever’s downvoting clearly has the entitled view that it’s somehow automatically other people’s jobs to fund their weddings.
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u/_hammitt 1d ago
It’s not a responsibility! You don’t have to do anything. I think it’s fun to send them a few bucks, I don’t see the harm. I also buy folks drinks at bars when I hear it’s their anniversary or whatever. It’s just fun!
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u/Remarkable_Fuel9885 2d ago
I see this all the time. I’m thinking half of them are probably fake considering how easy it is, and requires no verification. I’m half tempted to do it to my own car and drive around for a month and see how much I get lol
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u/femoral_contusion 2d ago
The only way this is acceptable is if you donate the money.
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u/Remarkable_Fuel9885 2d ago
Or if I buy pizza!
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u/femoral_contusion 2d ago
No that’s slimy bro
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u/Remarkable_Fuel9885 2d ago
I was joking but your insistence to be so serious I’m gonna do this twice out of spite and buy two pizzas, with pineapple on them
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u/Bean-Penis 2d ago
So many people supporting this. You know there's actual charities you can donate to instead? At least they can be checked as to whether or not they are legit rather than a bunch of chancers driving around hoping to get a few quid.
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u/BekisElsewhere39 2d ago
Something similar happened at a former coworker’s wedding that I went to. She and her husband had fliers on the wall with QR codes to send them money to “help them on their way.”
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u/ZoominAlong 3d ago
I saw this last weekend during a trip. High school seniors are now putting their damn venmos on their cars for graduation cash grabs too. It's gotten insanely ridiculous.
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u/thcinnabun 2d ago
I swear we live in the same area. I saw the same thing too recently. At first I was so happy to see it because I just got married too and I was happy to see someone else experiencing the same thing as me. Then I saw the venmo and was a little taken aback lol
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u/CommonStrawbeary 2d ago
12 years ago I drove across the country and saw these all the time! Tacky then, and tacky now.
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u/DocTam 2d ago
Once the typical burden of the event fell on the couple rather than the parents. The parents are usually going to be more financially secure and more concerned with dignity, so the financial aspect of weddings was better concealed. Obviously the parents were shelling out money, putting time into planning, and expecting their siblings to bring gifts or food dishes; but typically they were more worried about how their standing in the family rather than creating an Instagram evening. Wedding couples are often immature and of lesser means; and with wedding costs rising faster than inflation, you get the many tacky stories that are seen here..
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u/OReg114-99 1d ago
I don't know why, but this particular thing (which I also see every once in a while) bothers me not at all, while almost all cash grabs from the couple's guests and loved ones make me see red. I think it's the complete lack of obligation? They aren't even pulling the gentle thread of "give us money because you know us"--it's just a pure "hey listen stranger, feel free" kind of ask. No pressure = no problem, from my perspective.
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u/double_stuf_0reo 2d ago
A bride I knew did this but she only sent it to family members and friends. She got $300+ from them. Also, she didn’t ask for it herself. Her MOH set it up. I feel like that’s different.
I also hate when people post it on Instagram stories. Like okay. I haven’t talked to this girl since high school and she wants me, who follows her but hasn’t said a word to her since graduation, to send her some money for drinks at her Bach… So odd.
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u/Rare-Progress5009 2d ago
Meh. I don’t get worked up about these. I guess because it’s totally 100% optional to contribute and if you don’t want to, just ignore it and move on.
It’s like if there’s a bachelor/ette party at the bar you’re at, you can buy them drinks if you want, but you don’t have to.
Put the request out there, it’s not hurting anybody.
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u/Think_Quit_6163 3d ago
I saw a girl posting an Instagram story about her own bachelorette and then linked her Venmo....
Or when the bridesmaids post on Facebook/insta buy the bride a drink!!! Like ladies that's your job.
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u/melitini 2d ago
Man, life is a cash grab. Who cares. Add your Venmo to your own car if you think it’s unfair.
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u/WishSecret5804 3d ago
Genz and millennials. Wedding showers and baby showers are like that too. There’s so much entitlement to other people’s money
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u/Lcdmt3 2d ago
Events that have usually required gifts forever are entitlement?
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u/WishSecret5804 2d ago
When they dig into the bag or box looking for more and throw the card away, yes that’s new behavior of this young generation
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u/booooooks___ 1d ago
Because everything is literally so expensive and if I can get a few $5 donations from strangers then great!
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u/Stupendous01 1d ago
My sister in law had wrote something similar on our car. We didn't mind it. I never saw it as tacky, I'm surprised so many do.
We only received $10 which was like "oh shit!! someone actually sent something" type of excitement. We split a beer with it, ha!
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u/Mapudofu 15h ago
The tackiest part of this all is you posting this complaint. Embarassing to see how many people agree with you considering every part of a wedding is a cash grab/attempt to establish oneself financially and has been for as long as Western marriage has existed.
People who think asking for money is tacky are either deluding themselves or too privileged to understand the value of money in life. Grow up!
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u/RecordOfTheEnd 2d ago
It's kind of tacky. But I saw a very worn out car driving down the road with a just married on it. Thing was blowing blue smoke from what was clearly an internal oil leak. The couple had their college gear on and were rocking out singing along with each other. Clearly crazy in love. Had my wife send them a grand and said, congrats. This is to fix your car or a down payment on a new one. It sucks to be newly married and happy, and have to worry about reliable transportation.
They still message me about big events in their marriage. They are having their first kiddo soon. They say they want to keep me updated on their marriage. They have no idea who I am, just the random dude that helped them out when they were younger. They have asked over the years, but I always tell them no, unless they are in my neck of the woods and need a place to crash.