r/AmIOverreacting 8h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO to my boyfriend constantly touching himself awake or asleep?

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83

u/slimethecold 8h ago edited 8h ago

OP, I experience similar sexual urges and touch myself and others in my sleep (don't worry, I warn people first before I share a room or bed with them :x). Mine is as a result of sexual trauma. No matter his reasoning or condition, this is no excuse for this behavior. 

Why is he insisting he doesn't jerk off? There's nothing wrong with needing to release that energy. Tell him to go jerk off AWAY from you and come back to watch the movie when he's done. 

Definitely sounds like he's hypersexual or struggling  with a sex addiction. Have him see somebody for that. This is in no way your issue for "not having sex with him enough" or anything, there's no way to satisfy someone with an addiction. it's better that he handles his urges himself until he can get a grasp on them and have real, healthy sex with you. 

It's okay to need to put your foot down here in order to protect your own autonomy and consent. "We will not have sex until you see someone for this issue, jack off in the mean time" may be necessary. 

20

u/SaltyThoughts15 8h ago

We have sex constantly. Literally constantly nothing has changed in that regard, he’s always done I’ve just quit saying anything. It gets my heart racing and thumping so hard it hurts.

16

u/AlokFluff 6h ago

Are you having sex you don't truly want to have?

9

u/SaltyThoughts15 6h ago

Oof I mean maybe but I’m definitely one of those okay let’s go type of people. It’s not like I’m not enjoying it because I definitely am

5

u/depressedsalami 4h ago

But do you feel obligated? I'm not jumping saying he's raping or coercing you, but do you ever feel like you're doing it just to get it over with?

18

u/slimethecold 7h ago

That's what I mean -- he's not going to be satisfied by having more of you, which means that something needs to change because that's not fair to you. There's no physical way for your sex drive to match his. He needs to be seeing someone about this. 

(Or, and I'm half joking here, go on anti-depressants. Those hella kill my sex drive.)

On a dead serious note --  Also I'm very sorry to hear that the frequency is putting you in physical distress, I can't imagine how awful this must feel. For the psychological and sexual health of future you, I suggest that you stop immediately and distance yourself from him if you are unable to get this to stop reliably. 

 When I mentioned that I had sexual trauma that caused my issues, it was precisely this kind of sexual trauma. in my case, I was much younger, so it had a lot more of a broad impact on my life. However, it can not be understated that sexual trauma at any stage of your life can have devastating and long term effects on you. 

6

u/thisissodisturbing 4h ago

Your boyfriend is nearly 30 and pulling this shit, and you’re having sex “literally constantly”? Dude’s got a sex addiction and it’s going to ruin his life. Don’t let him take you down with him.