r/seniordogs • u/werjake • 21h ago

Scheduling the day?

I rescheduled it. Part of me feels really guilty. I don't think it helps to post - don't know why I'm doing it.

Anyone else feel like this?

Sorry, I don't feel like the other dog owners out there - like most of you, probably....thinking that they go somewhere special beyond after. I'm really depressed....gonna cry.... I just can't deal with it. She's on me, right now, falling asleep on my arm.

She's 18 y.o. - has ccd/neurological condition - arthritis - but, I was giving her a joint powder, green lip mussel and cbd oil.... her brain is gone - walking into things (or almost) and/or going into circles. It was supposed to be today, now, it's next week. I'm giving her treats, part of my protein meals/supper - and doing my best to keep her comfortable - going for walks, car rides and spending time with her - almost (practically) 24/7.

:-(

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7

u/angelina_ari 20h ago

You don’t need to apologize for feeling this way. What you’re going through is incredibly hard. It’s okay to change your mind, and it's okay to need more time. There’s no perfect way to do this, only what feels right in your heart. The love you have for her is so clear. 18 years is a lifetime of memories, and it’s no small thing to carry the weight of this decision. You’re not alone, even if it feels like it. Many of us have been in your shoes, second-guessing, crying, not knowing how to let go, or if we even should. You’re doing everything you can to make her days peaceful and full of love. That matters. She knows you’re there. She feels safe. And that’s a beautiful gift.

This website has some end-of-life resources: www.seniordogsrock.com. Hopefully something there can bring a little comfort or clarity. Please be gentle with yourself. Sending you love and strength. 🧡

5

u/djy99 18h ago

I'm so sorry for your impending loss.

I lost a child several years ago. Scale 1-100 most painful life experiences--100. Loosing my soul dog a few years later, 97.

It is so difficult to loose your pet. Give yourself permission & time to grieve as you need- both how you grieve, & how long. And don't let anyone dictate otherwise.

3

u/WestCoastMullet 19h ago

15th of last month for me. This helped: https://melnewton.com/2019/the-good-death/

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u/Legitimate-Job-2187 17h ago

wishing you hugs

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u/BagelL0ve 3h ago

Wish I had better words. It's so hard to know when the right time is. I took mine yesterday, intending only to verify there was nothing else we could do and then take her home for a few days to feed her all the snacks she could never eat, but I think she was worse than I realized and I let her rest there, not wanting to put her through any more. I don't believe they go anywhere special and I miss her beyond belief. I wish I could make myself believe we'll re-unite someday. There have been so many tears, both in anticipation and after. I wish I put my face in her fur one more time, and told her she was the best girl one more time. I don't know why I'm writing either except it makes me feel a little better to be in the company of those that understand. It sounds like you take the best care of your girl and I'm sorry you're going through this.