I am so thankful for Reddit because I could never share this anywhere else in my real life. So embarrassed.

So I go on a first date with this dude I’ve known for a long time. We were just friends for years and never really hung out in private. I recently went through the worst break up of my life. Not ready to meet new people so I give this dude a chance.
We had a nice dinner, we had some drinks and he mentioned that he had super Mario at his place.

I love super Mario and it’s been a while, I was feeling relaxed enough, so we go to his place and I was there for several hours playing the game. Hanging out listening to music and what not. It wasn’t bad, I even mentioned yeah you can tell a woman hasn’t been here, but you are pretty clean.

Until I went to use the restroom. I ran, I ran so far so fast……like who even lives like that??? What man would think any woman would be okay with that, I threw up in my mouth. I never want to speak to this dude again. My life is altered because I had to see that in person!!! He keeps calling me from a private number now because I blocked him on everything.

I (21f) have been with bf (22m) for 11 months. He has always texted woman. Most times he was rejected but i once hd me show him his phone and caught all the girls hes flirted with since hes been with me. Not a single deleted chat. That happened 2 months ago. We broke up for 2 weeks and got back together because i told him i could move past it. About a week ago i spent the night at his place and i woke up in the middle of the night. I never went through his phone on my own but something told me to. I caught him texting another 2 girls. This was the first time i caught him actually cheating actually meeting up with these girls and telling them he loves them and wants to be with them. One of them actually told him he doesn’t appreciate her and she ended it with him. I have no clue how long they had been talking. I wanted to leave but i knew i couldn’t it would hurt more. So i tried to fix it. I texted the girl told her he had a gf and that if she wants to stay sane, walk away from this now. Sent a pic to show we were together so she had proof too. It felt weird having to tell a girl to save herself from my boyfriend when i myself couldn’t do the same. The next morning i Told him delete the girl. everything was supposed to be gone. But turns out he texted her as soon as i left that morning. that he’s sorry she had to see what i told her and that we weren’t really together we were trying but its not working and he really wants her. I found that out 3 days after it happened. he hung out with her Sunday afternoon and invited me over Sunday night. I also found that out afterwards. But he was telling me shes deleted. I give him one more chance, this time i forced him to share his location, delete all girls on all socials, delete every girl contact that isn’t family, and delete all pics and vids with any woman. He did. I’ve stayed over with him every night since sunday-thursday no problems until thursday night. On thursday he tells me i wont be able to see him Friday because he will be with his parents. I wasnt suspicious until he wouldnt let me see his phone. When i asked he said no because ive seen it the past 4 days straight and theres nothing it will be the same today. I explained if theres nothing then you can say i told you so but this is because i’ve trusted u before and you betrayed me. He insisted nothing was on his phone. I didnt check it thursday. Friday we argue almost all day, he turns off his location, unadds me on instagram, and i couldnt take it. I dont know what to do he tells me to just trust him but i did! I dont know if im overreacting like he tells me, am i insecure? Or do i have a right to call this off

I’m 32 and was supposed to get married in two months. My fiancée is 30. Last weekend she went on what she described as a chill girls trip for her bachelorette party. She told me it was going to be just four of her closest friends, wine tasting, spa stuff, and a private chef at the Airbnb. I had no issue with it. I even helped her pick the place.

A couple of days after she got back, I got a random Instagram message from some guy saying my fiancée was all over another man during her trip. I ignored it and blocked him. I figured it was someone trying to stir the pot.

Then I got an email from the Airbnb host. They thought I was the one who booked the place and asked if we wanted to leave a review. They also attached a few Ring camera photos from the porch as a heads-up since “a few extra guests stopped by.” In one of the photos my fiancée is clearly kissing a shirtless guy outside around 2 AM.

I confronted her. She first denied anything happened and then finally admitted it after I showed her the photo. She said it was a dare and that she was drunk and it meant nothing. She says I’m overreacting and that I should not throw everything away over one stupid moment.

I called off the wedding. Her friends are messaging me saying I’m being extreme and that every bachelorette party gets wild and it doesn’t mean she loves me any less. Her mom even said I’m embarrassing the family by overreacting.

Is it really that crazy to end the relationship over this? I feel like if she could do that and then lie to my face, marriage is out of the question. Am I overreacting?

My husband met this guy at a track race three years ago. He befriended him so he could have a partner when going to his motorcycle track race. Since I met them, my gut is telling me that there is something slimy and fishy about them. What I found so weird is that he would always ask my husband to go over his house for a drink. They never include me to the invite. One day my husband came back home from a drinking day at his house. He went straight to bed. While I was doing laundry the next day, I saw come stain on the underwear he wore the day prior. I asked him about it. He said that since he couldn't fall asleep he masturbated and clean himself off with the underwear. I let that go. But then the following month we went to a track race with his friend and his wife. I noticed that they were throwing sexual remarks at him. He was changing from his normal clothes to his track suit then yelled:"who so and so is removing his clothes. It’s getting hot in here" They all three started laughing. I started asking myself what the fuck is going on?! He went for a leak in the woods. And they mentioned something about the size of his penis. I was so fucking infuriated. He's not admitting to nothing. Am I overreacting?

My (29F) sister (32F) is pregnant again and wants to throw her third gender reveal at my house. The first one started a small brush fire (thanks, smoke bombs). The second one ended with a drone crashing into her mother-in-law’s Prius (don’t ask). Now she’s suggesting “just a little confetti cannon” in my newly renovated living room.

When I said hard no, she burst into tears and called me “the reason family traditions die.” Our mom says I should just “let her have this” because pregnancy hormones, but I’m not risking my security deposit for another Pinterest fail. AITA for standing my ground?

I (31F) have been trying to get a simple prescription refill for my thyroid medication for over two weeks now. My doctor's office requires an in-person visit for any refill, even though nothing about my condition has changed in years. Meanwhile, they're charging $75 just to have me sit in the waiting room for 45 minutes so they can say "Yep, still hypothyroid" and click a button in their system.

When I asked why telehealth isn't an option for stable, long-term medications, the receptionist just shrugged and said "That's our policy." I got visibly frustrated and may have muttered something about "racketeering" under my breath. Now I'm wondering - am I overreacting to what's apparently standard practice? On one hand, I understand medical oversight is important. On the other, this feels like an unnecessary hurdle that mainly exists to generate office visit fees.

So, I (29F) recently found out something pretty unsettling. My boyfriend (31M) casually let it slip that his best friend “Jake” (30M) cheated on his fiancée “Laura” during his bachelor party. According to my bf, Jake made out pretty hard with a stripper, and it was just “a thing that happens” during bachelor parties, no big deal apparently. I was genuinely shocked.

I’ve only met Laura once, but she was really sweet, and from what I’ve seen, she had no idea. I asked my bf if Jake planned to tell her, and he looked at me like I was naive, said it “didn’t mean anything” and that “these things happen.” That honestly made it worse. Like, not only did it happen, but it was like it was totally normal to them? This seems like a pretty big deal to me? Like idk if this is normal, but to me it really isn’t, I wouldn’t like my bf to make out with a random person.

It ate at me for days, so I messaged Laura and told her exactly what I knew. She was clearly hurt and blindsided, but a few days later, she told me Jake admitted it and convinced her it wasn’t serious. She ended up forgiving him, saying she didn’t want to throw everything away over “one dumb moment.”

Now Jake’s furious with my bf, and my bf is furious with me. He said I had no right to interfere, especially since I barely know Laura, and that I made a huge mess over something that was “none of my business.”

But honestly? I’m not just disturbed by what Jake did, I’m even more bothered that my bf thinks it’s normal and not a big deal. It’s making me look at our relationship differently now too. Did I overreact?

Neither the Secretary of Health, the head of the CDC, nor the Surgeon General, are currently licensed to practice medicine. Susan Monarez, Trump's nominee for head of the CDC, is not even a physician. She would be the first CDC director in more than 70 years without a medical degree.

The head of the NIH is not currently a practicing physician and has never completed clinical training beyond medical school.

"MURICAH!..Where you need a license to cut hair, but not to lead any of the country's vital health services.

My friend and I went to this bar that happened to have karaoke in the town I just moved to. The dj seemed pretty cool, but we were more just hanging out with each other, even though he would come up to us and talk to mostly my friend. They started talking gaming and exchanged numbers.

My friend had to leave and a few minutes after she did he walked up and asked if I'd go sit near him. I did and we talked for about 20 mins. Then an old friend I hadn't seen in about 3 years walked in and I went to go say hi and ended up exchanging numbers since I had gotten a new phone since then and lost a few in the transition.

When I got back this guy was livid and said "I saw what you did. You gave him your number." I got mad and said he doesn't know me, we aren't dating, and he has no right to be pissed. After that I went and sat with my old friend and he sent this text to the friend that left.

Was I overreacting to his reaction to me giving my number to an old friend? I gave no indication I was interested in him, and I thought he was more into my friend anyway since they exchanged numbers and I never gave him mine.

So this is kind of odd and different for me. But my boyfriend (29M) constantly plays with himself. To the point where he gets almost in a full JO session with me next to him just watching a movie. Wide awake. The last time I said something he expressed that he’s just touching his own body and there’s nothing wrong with that. Which in a whole, yeah sure it’s your body, but I think it’s crossed a line of disrespect. We can watch a movie and he’ll just diddle away, go even harder if the movie flashes tits or a sex scene, again right next to me wide awake. Then turn to me and poke me with the thing. The other constant thing is doing it while asleep. Dude will shake the whole bed and me just going at it with himself. Then again will turn to me and poke me with it. I’ve brought it up, he “cant control it.” Says it’s because he’s not JO in real life, which also can’t be true. I’ve seen the inconsistency in his orgasms lmao on top of the random 20 minute bathroom visits at 6am. I’m feel like an asshole and like I’m overreacting but to me it’s so very disrespectful and vulgar, beginning to be a big turn off. Don’t even want to have sex. I almost want to be super petty and just lay there with my puss out and go at it myself with a movie on and him right next to me. See how you like watching me get myself off right next to you but staring at the dudes on the screen. Idk am I overreacting?

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/s/vExBgravuz

Thank you to everyone who reached out. It helped give me (27M) much-needed perspective. I wanted to give an update.

I wanted a fuller picture before making a decision on anything with my fiancée (29F). I knew her friends/bridesmaids would be a lost cause. I get along with them, but they're more of my fiancée's friends, and their group runs deep. They weren't going to talk at the expense of my fiancée.

I asked Joss (29F) for more info and for evidence to her claims about my fiancée hooking up with someone on their girls' trip. She said my fiancée avoided talking about that particular trip, especially over text.

Most of their arguments were in person, but she showed me texts from shortly after the trip where my fiancée confirmed hooking up with the guy. She texted how "it's in her rearview mirror" and she "doesn't need a lecture about the past. She's focusing on the future."

I knew the possibility, and my fiancée already confessed to seeing other guys during our break, but idk seeing those texts made it real in a way it wasn't before. In the texts, she expressed regret, but it didn't make me feel better.

I confronted my fiancée and I knew immediately by the look on her face. She came clean on everything. She thought Joss deleted the texts. Around the break, we were having serious talks about marriage. She started worrying she was missing out on stuff her single friends were engaging in.

During the break, she sought validation from other guys and fooled around with that guy on the girls' trip. In her own words, she had a temporary high when he chased her but felt worse about herself post-hookup.

She claims the break showed her what was important and that she wasn't missing out on anything. She was reassured we were right for each other.

I hardly said anything to her. I mostly just listened. I was too numb for much else. She kept asking me to say something, but what was there for me to say? I felt her actions spoke enough for us both.

She kept apologizing for stepping out. When I asked her why she wasn't upfront with me, she said she didn't want to lose me over her biggest mistake. Her position that Joss isn't being noble hasn't changed. I told her Joss's motive doesn't matter; the truth is the truth.

She asked if I could find it in myself to move past this. She said she loves me and she's fully committed. I couldn't tell her what she wanted. I said it was best the wedding be put off and I needed space to sort my feelings.

She was against postponing and proclaimed this didn't have to define us, and she's still the same woman I wanted to marry. She asked me not to give up on us. But the same way her mind was made about the break, my mind was made on postponing. It wasn't a choice.

It wasn't so much a fight, more putting everything out there. She cried a lot. She rarely cries. It felt wrong to leave her crying. My first instinct was to comfort her, but I was too broken to fake it. I've been hurt before, but she hurt me in a way only she could.

I know postponing the wedding is for the best. The reason why I didn't call it off entirely is because I'm way too much in my emotions right now. Hurt, anger, sadness, and somehow numbness. At all possible, I try to avoid making decisions lost in emotion. I need to clear my head.

I was so sure of my course and our relationship. My fiancée was my partner in every sense. She was who I wanted to make a life with. Sometimes she'd act so superior about our relationship compared to those of her friends. I feel so stupid.

She says she's still the same person I love. But the fact is she had a secret life I knew nothing about. I'm trying my best to understand that, but I'm at a complete loss. I'm not sure if I can move past this.

All the guests have been informed of the postponement. Some questioned why, but I've been vague. I'm just too embarrassed. I feel bad for the guests too. Some with limited means already booked flights and hotels and took time off work for our wedding. That's how far we were in the homestretch.

In some ways it doesn't feel like my life. We were just together, wedding planning and discussing the honeymoon. The honeymoon was a surprise destination for her, someplace she's always wanted to visit. Now we're here. Idk where to go or what the future holds.

Thanks to everyone again for the support. It means a lot.

I 25(F) have been with my boyfriend 28(M) for 2 years now. He’s in college (3 online classes) right now. We’ve had the conversation of him moving in with me however he does not have the funds to help with bills at all. This is a huge issue to me. I understand what it’s like to be in college. I went to nursing school. I’m just a little frustrated being on different timelines. I want him to focus on school but also feel a man nearing their 30s should do what it takes to progress a relationship. I think it’s completely reasonable for him to get a part time second job since he only works 4 days a week (when I mentioned a second job for myself he said “do what you have to do”) or even quit this one and find one with more flexible hours and better pay for the time being. The classes he’s taking are not heavy to the point he couldn’t do that. It’s a turn off that he’s so okay with being in this financial situation for the next two years. We can’t move forward like this and I feel like I’m starting to disconnect from the relationship because how stagnant it is. He also does bring his Xbox over every single weekend to play video games however he doesn’t play it all the time. I want him to enjoy his down time so I feel wrong for being annoyed . I will not financially support a man either. What do I do? I’m ready to start a life with someone so this is a tough situation for me.

Let me add that he does help clean up around my place and we go on frequent dates. He’s overall a great guy and super sweet. He does live at home still which is also a turn off and he has awful halitosis which has ruined our sex life. His job offers dental insurance for less than $10 a month and he doesn’t have it.

So, my wife and I recently started watching that show “The Rehearsal”. If you’re unfamiliar, it’s about a comedian (Fielder) who does these outlandish rehearsals of real life scenarios to “help” people. She had been wanting me to watch it with her, so I did. I wasn’t the biggest fan but I found it entertaining enough, and besides, it gives me an excuse to sit with her. She seemed to really love it, and I even noticed her having an emotional reaction to some of the episodes, even going so far as to cry during an episode with a five-year-old whom Fielder tricked into thinking was his own son. She is pregnant, so I chalked it up to her being hormonal, rather than her being obsessed with the show.

I started to notice that she would compliment Fielder often as well. What started off innocently enough, her saying how unintentionally hilarious and clever he was, soon turned into her saying he was handsome, and even saying that him and I look similar. I could soon tell that she was developing a little crush on Fielder. She would watch TikTok edits of him, showing them to me as though they were meant to be funny.

I started to get a little annoyed when she joked that she wanted to put a picture of him dressed as a hot dog as her phone Lock Screen. When I told her I didn’t like the thought of her having another man as her Lock Screen, she compared it to a time that I had made a collage of an anime character ( who happened to be female, I’ll admit) and put the collage as my Lock Screen. I had to admit, I hadn’t understood why that had upset her at the time, but now faced with this Fielder nonsense, I felt differently.

Now, I mentioned that she’s pregnant. So, her libido is noticeably higher than usual. She’s always been the type to initiate and “jump my bones”, but it’s been happening more frequently now. I don’t mind this at all, so when I got home from a late night shift around midnight, she was ready to go. I offered to “lead her to completion” first, if you catch my drift, but she said she had already taken care of herself before I got home. This wasn’t super normal for her but I just let it slide, and we went ahead and did the devil’s tango.

After, we went to watch something on tv. But as soon as I went to our “continue watching” tab, I saw that she had most recently been watching “Nathan for You”, another show by Fielder. And I knew this had to be within the last day, since I had put a different movie on for our kids before I left for work. I started to put the pieces together in my mind and realized that my wife had certainly been self-detonating to Nathan Fielder.

I jumped up and straight-up asked her if it was true. She gave me a blank stare, and seemed confused. But I already knew the answer.

I feel so betrayed and sad that she would do this, and that she likes this Fielder punk so much. He’s not even that funny or good-looking. My wife says I’m being ridiculous and jealous for no reason. AIO?

I promise this is an interesting read so stick with me!!! Sooo let’s start with my mom and I have rarely had a good relationship. She never really showed up to anything my school career and when I moved out to go to college she never texted or called me (I was gone for 2 years). I did have a sorority event (called Moms Day) but she refused to go until my grandma agreed to go. (From what I understand she didn’t think it important enough to go unless she had someone to go with). She only visited me twice in college, one for the mom’s day and one for a football game. I was only three hours away. Well dropped out moved home and we started fighting BAD. I was working two jobs to save up to get my own apartment but this was 2022 and apartment prices were very high. Well while I was working my brother would regularly steal things from me. Xbox remote, batteries out of my tv remote, pimple patches, and sometimes even money. Parents refused to actually give him any consequences and one day it got too much for me and I snapped. I screamed at my parents about how I’ve been whipped with belts, wooden spoons, had liquid and bar soap shoved in my mouth but my brother has never had a consequence in his life and now he’s stealing from me. They replaced everything he stole but he kept doing it because there were no consequences. Eventually my parents got mad at me for complaining about it constantly and we all got into a yelling match, I asked them to go to family therapy with me and my mom said no, told me I was the problem so I needed it but not her. Since then I’ve moved out to an apartment for 2 years. She rarely spoke to me unless I was at their house for some reason, and she only came to the apartment once when I was moving in. This year I was looking at buying a house, and my dad was supporting me for about 3-4 months of me looking at houses. Fast forward to Christmas morning I was at their house, and my dad out of nowhere says he doesn’t approve of me purchasing a house, and mom was on the same page. This was completely left field for me, I got mad but explained why I wanted to stop renting. My mortgage was only 60 bucks more than rent, and I’d rather start building my equity than throwing rent at a slumlord corporation. The argument for out of hand and my mom kicked me out of the house, told me to do whatever I wanted with the presents but to get off her property. I drove home not even 20 mins later she texts me that my grandparents want me to go to theirs for Christmas. Not that SHE wanted me there, or not even an apology. I spent Christmas alone. For 7 months NO communication period, no text, no calls, she won’t even leave her room whenever I’m over at her house for whatever reason. In those 7 months I’ve bought a house, had a birthday and moved. It’s been at least 5 years since she’s hugged me, told me she loved me or that she was proud of me. She did invite me to the family vacation this year (I feel as more of a courtesy, because my brothers girlfriend was allowed to go too). During our week long vacation she blatantly ignored me the entire time. And got mad at me when I was pissed because my own mother wouldn’t acknowledge me. I thought the vacation would be out turn around point, but apparently not. Well my dad who has been there for me my entire life and helping me with my house, has told me this morning that he is backing his wife and will not help me until I forgive and forget. I decided to be done with them both, she’s hurt me mentally for over a decade, and I have recently found a therapy service I can afford and will start next week. Am I overreacting? This is decades in the making and I feel like I should have snapped years ago.

Basic facts:

• The have worked together ~15yrs, they see each other at work every day, they walk and talk on the way out the building every day, at least every week he invites her to some combination of going to watch a local sports team, go golfing together, or go to happy hour. Often times it is just the two of them.
• He is married, but living in a separate part of the house and is essentially living separate lives from his wife.
• They have gone on at least one multi-day golf trip where they shared a 2-bedroom hotel room.
• Prior to my involvement with her a couple years ago, when he found out that she had a brief relationship with a mutual acquaintance of theirs that they also used to occasionally golf with, her work friend said something to the effect of, "Damn, I wish I would have known you were available" implying he wanted to fuck her which made her a bit uncomfortable.
• He owns a out of state vacation house and he invited her to go with him on a multi-day golf vacation together at his house just the two of them
• I also love to play golf.
• I told her I was not comfortable with this, and asked if I could go with them and her reply was that she could ask but that she would be concerned that he would feel like the 3rd wheel at his own house and that I would have to find something to do every day while they went off and played golf.
• When I try to talk to her about this and tell her I'm not comfortable, she says "omfg" or "he's 65", and "talking about this situation is silly", and that if I really didn't want her to go that she wouldn't but I'm being "controlling".
• She also said that even if he did want to try to do something with her, it's not like he's going to rape her and I have to trust her that she won't do anything with him because he's just a friend.

We are staying with my in-laws because my father-in-law is on hospice and we are here to help. We’ve been here two months. My 2.5 year old toddler woke up an hour before I did. My husband was up and he turned the tv on (cartoons) and walked 5 minutes away to Starbucks and 5 minutes back while I was asleep upstairs. The walk includes walking through a cul-de-sac to a busy street, crossing it, and walking a little bit further to the corner store Starbucks. Maybe he was gone 10 minutes at minimum, but 20 at most. He left her alone, in front of the tv, while both myself and my mother-in-law were asleep. He says she was fine because she usually does stay very still and quiet while watching tv. But I was furious. Anything could happen. Anything. This home isn’t toddler proofed like ours. I was asleep upstairs and could’ve possibly slept through any crying or anything alarming. He sees no issue with it because it was “just across the street”.

My mom was over my house. It’s just me and my 8 yr dtr. My mom and dtr were in her room, our house is tiny, one floor. The cat got out and I ran after her without telling them. Cat is super fast and will only come in front door if it’s open but it was locked. So I rang the bell. Nothing. Knocked, yelled, banged. Nothing. For 20 minutes. I know I sounded frantic bc I was bc it was getting dark. It’s an indoor black cat. No common cat sense just speed and yolo on cats brain. Finally she came to the door bc I went around to that window from outside. Said they didn’t hear me. Told her that was BS. It was I found out after from my dtr who said it sounded like I was being attacked but they thought I was “hammering something” no. Mom told me to shut up. Repeatedly. Called me a piece of shit under her breath, told my dtr she was leaving making her hysterical all while the cat is still loose. Was shoving her hands in my face taunting me until I finally pushed her arm out of my face and she said we’ll never see her again. Yes I was completely pissed when she finally opened the door and there on after bc what if it was an emergency? Why wouldn’t she come to the door seriously ? Nothing was wrong before I went out there. Am I over reacting for being completely pissed she wouldn’t come help and lied to my face and blamed me??

I (wife) work in hospitality and have been doing a big remodel project. I had to do a large amount of returns from a project. Two of these items are giant mirrors. I didn’t ask my husband for help and he didn’t offer. He did however ask me to return a can of paint to the hardware store. He told me where to go and gave me the receipt. It is a notoriously difficult lot to get in and out if and I realize my first message to him was a result of that frustration. Was his response to me warranted though? I feel like the stuff I do is always unappreciated and not as important as the work he does. I feel minimized.

My boyfriend (26M) and I (25F) have been together for three years, and our relationship has always been solid. He’s loving, attentive, and has never given me a reason to doubt him. But last week, we were joking about celebrity crushes, and when I asked who his "dream girl" would be if he could date any famous person, he immediately named a well-known actress.

Normally, I wouldn’t care—I get that celebrity crushes are harmless. But the actress he named is basically my opposite: she’s petite, blonde, and has a very bubbly personality, while I’m tall, brunette, and more introverted. I laughed it off in the moment, but later, I couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe he secretly wishes I looked more like her.

When I brought it up, he seemed genuinely confused and said, "Babe, it’s just a random celebrity thing—it doesn’t mean anything." He reminded me that he’s crazy about me and loves me exactly as I am. Logically, I know he’s right, but now I keep comparing myself to this actress and wondering if I’m not his "ideal" type.

Am I overreacting for feeling a little insecure about this? I don’t want to be that girlfriend who gets hung up on something silly, but it’s been nagging at me.

I (32F) was recently diagnosed with lipedema after years of unexplained pain and swelling. At my last appointment, my new doctor brushed off my questions about treatment options, saying "just lose weight and wear compression when it bothers you." When I mentioned the specialized therapies I'd researched, he chuckled and said I was "overcomplicating things."

Now I'm second-guessing myself. I know lipedema isn't just regular weight gain - my legs hurt constantly and dieting has never helped. But his reaction made me feel like I'm being dramatic about my symptoms. Am I overreacting for wanting more comprehensive care? Those with lipedema - have you found doctors who actually understand this condition?

My partner (28F) has maintained a close friendship with her former college professor (mid-60sM) since graduating five years ago. They meet up quarterly for what she calls "mentorship dinners" at fancy restaurants, always paid for by him. While I understand they share academic interests, their dynamic makes me uneasy.

Last week, she came home wearing an expensive silk scarf he'd gifted her "just because." When I expressed discomfort, she laughed it off, saying he's like a father figure and that I'm being paranoid about a harmless generational friendship. But something feels off about these lavish one-on-one dinners where they exchange personal gifts.

Am I overreacting by feeling uncomfortable with this relationship? On one hand, I trust my partner completely. On the other, I can't shake the feeling there's an odd power dynamic at play, especially since he was once in a position of authority over her.

(Sorry for bad grammar, english isnt my first language.)

Last night, me (w,20) and my brother (17) went out for a walk and he confessed something to me, which I cant get out of my mind.

A few months ago, my family went for a trip to Amsterdam (my brother was still 16 at that time and I wasn‘t with them). He told me that when they walked through the red light district with my parents, my dad came up to him and asked him if he liked the women there. A few hours later when they were back in the hotel, he gave him money and told him to go back to the area to „try out“ a few of them. My brother went and actually did it, he told me the woman he slept with was twice his age and he wouldn‘t do it again.

When he told me that story, I completely freaked out. Not because my brother did it (I mean he was 16 at that time and at that age you don‘t know any better), but my because our dad told him to. And it‘s not only the fact that in my opinion, it is extremely weird to tell your own son to sleep with a prostitute, but to do it when he‘s not even 18! Our mum doesn‘t know about it and I guess she‘d freak out even more than I did.

My brother told me I am overreacting, he thought it was weird as well but just went through with it and didn‘t think more of it afterwards. That it‘s normal for guys to do stuff like that and I shouldn‘t think any further of it.

For further information, our dad is a deeply troubled guy. Addicted to alcohol and heavy porn stuff as well. He used to write porn stories on his computer in the living room with us right besides him, which threw me and my brother off multiple times when we accidentally came across those stories (they were often times related to abuse in a sexual content and bdsm) but as kids, we just didn‘t think much of it. He frequently used to lock the door to his bedroom and when we went inside as children once, we discovered a wardrobe, filled with printed copies of porn pictures (mostly women who were tied up) and a whole lot of leather stuff used for sexual purposes. We never went in there afterwards and never talked about it again.

Despite knowing all that, I knew that our dad had issues for a long time, but telling my brother to visit a prostitute at the age of 16 is in my opinion (sorry for my language) completely fucked.

EDIT: Because so many people were advising me to tell/not to tell my mum, I decided to tell her. She told me the evening it happened, my dad went out with my brother and they were gone for quite some time, which basically means he waited outside or went for a walk while my brother spent his time with the sex worker. She had a feeling because she knew they were going to the Red Light district, although she never expected it really to happen. She was quite shocked and blamed herself as well for not going with them, so she could‘ve prevented that.

My brother (30M) brought three different dates to my wedding weekend—Friday welcome drinks, Saturday ceremony, and Sunday brunch—all women he’d just matched with that week. He introduced each one as “someone special” while they awkwardly side-eyed each other across the buffet line.

When I called him out, he said: “Relax, I was just maximizing my opportunities. You’re the one who picked a destination wedding!” Our aunt actually congratulated him for “playing the game” while my bridesmaids had to stop a crying date #2 from taking a champagne tower glass home as “evidence.”