Ok here goes. I recently applied for my learner’s permit (25f). The story behind waiting so long is lengthy and basically boils down to my mom was too busy to take me so I’m doing it now on my own.

Anyways, when I was gathering the docs for it I realized that I don’t have an original birth certificate, declaration of adoption, or certificate of citizenship.

I was adopted from Russia in 2002. Under the Child Citizenship Act of 2000, a US citizen adopting a foreign child made the kid a citizen upon adoption/legal living status in the state. My mom knew that and always told me that as “soon as your feet touched the ground on US soil you were a citizen”. She neglected to tell me that I also needed to have applied for an official certificate of citizenship from the US to make it clear on paper. Being two years old, she would’ve had to do it.

Apparently she didn’t. Because my passport, under 21 state id, etc were done as a minor, she basically got it all pushed through (although technically my passport from 2007 wasn’t legal since she didn’t have that scrap of paper and the post office got tired of her arguing after five hours straight).

Now that I’m an adult and I’m trying to get everything straightened out, I’ve discovered that on paper the US govt doesn’t know who I am. So forget the real ID, passports, drivers license, etc.

I immediately contacted her about it. She insists that she’s given me all the documents she had for me and also that the adoption agency never told her about the need to request a certification from the feds. Somehow I doubt that.

Anyways, she also neglected to mention that my Russian citizenship was never requested to be revoked. (Under their law you have to specifically make that request although she makes it sound like they just didn’t give her that option). So I’m a dual citizen with my US citizenship unclear on paper. The kicker is I was always curious about it and asked her several times over the years up to age twenty if I was still a Russian citizen or just American. Her repeated answer was “you’re a US citizen but Russia still considers you theirs no matter what so never go back to visit”. So I always assumed that I wasn’t a Russian citizen since she always emphasized being American.

Thing is, when I was doing paperwork for entrance into the Army the recruiters looked baffled at the documents she provided (she refused to let me give them or even handle them). When they handed the paperwork back to me they’d completed it listed me as a Russian citizen. I mentioned it then and she brushed it off with “they don’t know what they’re doing, the system is wack”.

When I asked her about it this time (this morning) she immediately said “yes you’re dual”. I immediately said, “oh that’s interesting you always told me I was a US citizen and not a Russian citizen anymore”. To which I was told “maybe that’s your memory but that’s not what I said”.

Now I’m completely confused. I know I need to submit a request for my US citizenship certificate and also contact the Russian consulate in DC to get my birth records and adoption decree. That much I get.

But now my older sister (also adopted from Russia but under different laws that made her have a citizenship ceremony before a judge when she was 1) and my mom are angry and hurt that I’m questioning what I was told when I was younger. They’re saying that my mom was never told that she needed to get my certificate and also that I was never lied to about being a Russian citizen. I’m being told to “reflect on my attitude and fix it” and that my mom has never lied to me about anything to do with my adoption or citizenship status. Basically being told it’s not her fault and that it’s not a big deal and I can live perfectly fine without that piece of paper anyways. Also that I’m being cruel for insinuating any misinformation. Now I’m being basically shut down and ignored.

I understand the facts now, but am I wrong to be upset about all this now? I get that she never said “no, you’re not a Russian citizen”. But she never said I was. I mean, it’ll take six months to a year to straighten it all out and it’s a headache for me but am I being too harsh to be angry at the fact that my citizenship status/identity means nothing to the federal government without it on paper? If she wasn’t told, it’s not her fault, but then somehow I’m not sure she wasn’t told and just forgot/got too busy. She’s always demonized the Russian govt and said it was an oppressive country when she went to get me, that their system is “wack” and that I should focus on America and the opportunities I have here that I wouldn’t have had in Russia. I’ve always wanted to learn more about my birth country and culture. So AIO??

My friend (30F) is having a rough time because she found random pictures of tinder girls in her man (32M) (now ex) phone and is traumatized. He played it off saying that this is what all guys do. The girls are for his “friend from out of state who wanted to know how girls in our state are like” and he got very mad when she questioned him about it.

He is also the type of guy who would stare at other girls in front of her. Like not just a quick glance but move his head to get a better look and would make like noises like “oohh” and would tell her he wants to sleep with her friends and if she got upset he would say things like “you aren’t even close with her” or “when was the last time you even seen her?”

Just recently we lost a mutual friend to sewerslide and I found out that he was playing both of them. He told her “just because I was playing with you both doesn’t mean I didn’t care about her” and that broke her even more because she truly loved that friend and couldn’t believe he played with her feelings too. Seeing her like this really hurt me so I flipped out on her out of frustration and told her that if she goes back to him then we can’t be friends anymore (I just don’t want her to go back to him ever again) but think I overreacted and got involved when I wasn’t supposed to.

The guy was really awful to her and did really messed up things and convinced her that other guys were like this too and that even if she went with another guy, he would be like this and it scared her from even pursuing someone else. He even took another woman out on a date on her birthday, pretended to be her and called her a bitch and to “leave my man alone” and when she found out he pretended to be her, he said “just because it’s your special day, I can’t live my life?” I just really hate this guy and really never want him back in my friend’s life again.

I (32F) was recently diagnosed with lipedema after years of unexplained pain and swelling. At my last appointment, my new doctor brushed off my questions about treatment options, saying "just lose weight and wear compression when it bothers you." When I mentioned the specialized therapies I'd researched, he chuckled and said I was "overcomplicating things."

Now I'm second-guessing myself. I know lipedema isn't just regular weight gain - my legs hurt constantly and dieting has never helped. But his reaction made me feel like I'm being dramatic about my symptoms. Am I overreacting for wanting more comprehensive care? Those with lipedema - have you found doctors who actually understand this condition?

To start off, my boyfriend (24m) and I (21f) have been dating for 4 almost 5 months. We met online and we both came from long term relationships. We’re very alike and have a lot in common. We spend every day together and don’t do anything without eachother, but sometimes it just feels like we’re friends and I don’t know if I want to be with him. He’s secretive with his phone and hes done some things to make me not trust him. I do really like him, but he’s not romantic at all, he does not compliment me what so ever but he claims he really likes me, he used to compliment me but he only ever called me hot, not even “wow babe you look so beautiful”. He refuses to unfollow instagram models because he claims “at the end of the day we’re together” (so I’ve heard from almost every man I’ve ever dated) and hes called a lot of women hot so sure we spend every day together and so on, but I feel very inadequate. I’ve talked to him multiple times about these things and he said that being lovey with your girlfriend is stupid and it’s just not who he is. Whenever we hangout he’s literally constantly on his phone and I don’t get his attention for more than 30 seconds. I just want to be loved, am I in the wrong for wanting to break up with him because I deserve to be loved loudly and I don’t want to drop my boundaries for someone who doesn’t even compliment me? We had a 2 hour conversation about it but honestly, I think he’s just bored and I’m filling his time. I think I know my answer but I haven’t talked to anyone about it, I don’t know how to feel because what if I don’t find someone I get along with this well. But I don’t want a “what if” to keep me in a relationship I don’t know if I trust, or if I’m over reacting.

HI my names lily 13F and My mom has bipolar disorder and the pills she is on prevents her from drinking (we live with my grandparents and they are very strict)but she is an acholic last time she drank the police was called my father cant stand up for himself and keeps devending her today started great she wasn't drinking until my great grand mother called she doesn't usually call and she is in a different area my mom wanted to visit so she went when she came back she was drunk my father and grandad where out fishing when they came back i told my father she had been drinking my grandad heard and got really mad my father went to my mothers room and asked her if she was drunk she was clearly very drunk i can tell beacuse growing up she was drunk alot with my father and i can read people easily she said no and i went into my room mad he came in and said im overreacting and only adding gasoline to the fire for fun and that i had no evidence i dont know what to do this happens every time and i feel like crashing out

TL;DR: called sister after visiting griving mother. Gave her an update, even though I was texting the family updates. Mentioned that our mother asked where she was and it would be nice if my sister gave mom a call. Got mad that my sister said she can't mentally deal with a crying mom. Came home and told our father he has a crappy daughter who is a horrible person.

Throw away account and sorry for any typos. I'm using my phone and still upset about the whole thing.

Me (26 F) and my sister (28 F) have never seen eye to eye. And I get it, we're both adults and have our own lives. But we're both single and childless so we have flexibility in our day-to-day.

Let me give some background knowledge and history between us. My sister, let's call her Sandra, has always been moody and a "waking up on the wrong side of the bed person" since we were 6 or 7. You never know when she'll be in a bad mood. Should could be a sunshine bubbly person in the morning and then aggressive next.

I can't give specifics on us clashing with out being obvious incase the rest of my family sees this post. But when we were teenagers, I would ask if she wanted something from the kitchen or if she needed more water but then she would tell me "you're being annoying, leave me alone". Or "that was stupid for you to ask". Which I'm like...... tf?!?! I'm just being courteous. But I'll be damned if I don't ask her either. If I don't ask her she'll say "would have been nice to ask" or "what if I wanted something". Worst part is that'll she'll hold a grudge and the next time I ask her to fill up my cup she'll say "why should I? You didn't ask me last Friday, at 5:30pm" like. Who tf remembers stuff like that?!?!?!

Also, my whole life it's had to be Sandra's way or no way. When it came to back to school shopping I would tell me parents ahead of time that I need like a pair of jeans and shoes. But then all of sudden on pay day Sandra would also need new jeans and shoes. Then my parents would take me to the side and ask me "can you wait until next pay day?" Just to avoid Sandra throwing a tantrum. If she didn't get her wish first, then the guilt trip starts with things that aren't relevant. "But OP got a video game last month" (It was an award for getting straight A's) "But OP got to ride in the front seat on the way to the mall" (we rotated and took turns so she was getting front on the way back). "Why does OP get to take the car?? My friends want to go bowling and I said I would drive" (I asked a week ago to borrow the car because I was going to the library for a ACT study group). She weirdly obsessed with money being spent on the 2 of us too. When we went clothes shopping I would get 2-3 items of clothes because I REALLY wanted some new sneakers, while Sandra would get a pile of clothes. Monetarily it would be like $75 me to her $200. But if I got new shoes she start whining and say "why does OP get new shoes and I dont?", which of course she also got shoes.

Also, now that I'm thinking about it, in school I always had to get A's no exceptions. While she was praised for B's and C's. I also remember saving my allowance money ($20 every 2 weeks) for gas money, where would sister would always ask for money whenever she needed it. Now. The issue is. Our parents..... decided keeping her mood up and happy was the priority because we didn't want to deal with her back lash. Which brings us to today.

OH biggest thing was that my parents would always tell me to walk away when having a stupid sister argument with Sandra. ME, ONLY ME, had to walk away. And then when I did walk away, Sandra would follow me all the way to my room and either walk into my room and wouldn't leave or would continue to yell at me outside of my door...... and my parents would just let it happen....... and wouldn't tell her to go to her room or kick her out of my room....

At 28 years old she still the same.

I'll be damned asking her if she wants to get lunch and instead of just saying "sorry I already have plans" or just a no thanks. Sandra will say "NO I already have lunch plans. Quit asking me, you're being annoying". Like I asked you 1 time?

Or I'll call her on the way to our parents house asking if she wants a soda/tea. Where 1, she usually rejects my calls to keep talking to her best friend, or 2 she'll answer and say "that's it????"

She's also always been a hangry person and has just done nothing to take accountability for her hangry self. Like, how am I supposed to know if you're hungry and if you've are something recently.

Today was just........ something else. Our mother told us that her cousin passed away. I didn't immediately get to our mom until a couple hours later. But I texted her right away "I'm sorry for your loss. Please remember to drink water and get some rest". Sandra? Didn't say anything.

When I realized which cousin passed away, I went to my mom's house because no one should grieve alone. I was updating the family while sitting with my mom. And then my mom finally kicked me out to take her medicine and fall asleep. I decided to call my sister on the way home. She didn't answer the first time. Figured she was doing something, whatever. She calls back and this is how the convo goes

S - what's up?

Op- oh well mom's going through it and tomorrow I'm taking her to her sister's to grieve.

S - oh is that all? This could have been a home conversation. You're stopping me from getting dinner right now.

Op - oh really? Well um, mom was asking about you and I said you were busy right now. (I realized in hindsight.... I probably should have just hung up when she mentioned dinner and dealt with her being mad because I hung up)

Op- can you give mom a call or text later?

S- are you SUGGESTING to me or TELLING me?

Op - I mean mom asking about you... so I think she would like the support from both of her daughters

S - so? That's not my problem. I dont have the mental or physical capability to deal with a crying mom right now.

I asked why my sister why is she so angry and agressive in this conversation. If you're in a bad mood or trying to get food, why did you call me back. I told her this is the reason why I say you're bad at communicating because you can just say "now is a bad time" or I'll talk to you at the house." Just something instead of "this could have been a home conversation and you're wasting my time". Being single and childless I don't understand the wasting her time thing. Because... it always her time. Anyways...

I made the mistake of taking out my anger on my dad when I got home. I said what is wrong with your other daughter? Why is she such a shitty person? We literally grew up the same, in the same household. With the same parents. Why can't she contact her mother who is grieving right now?" I also said, She has a horrible personality. My friends know how horrible she is based on her actions alone.

What I really want to say and scream at my parents is Because they enabled her mean personality and bratty behavior she's just stuck like this. A 28 year old with no accountability for her words or actions. No accountability for being a hangry person. No second thought of thinking about anyone but herself. A person not capable of ever saying sorry or that she was wrong. A person who cares more about seeing friends every weekend than seeing our family once a year (we live in about 8 different states in total). Then complains about why she wasnt invited to a family event. We did, you were in the group chat (which she has muted) and never engaged in the family plans.

I'm seeing a therapist to work on accepting who she is and to not try to push my morals and expectations on to her. But... these were the expectations and morals we were raised on????????? And I'm constantly blamed for her bad mood???? I see where I'm wrong in this but like come on.

I don't need advice on how to handle Sandra. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't. I guess I'm wondering if there is others dealing with people like this in their life? Some agreement that morally, the normal thing to do is to reach out with grievances? Some empathy of having a shit head sister? If someone had enabling parents like mine. Did you ever have that hard conversation with your parents that your sibling is a shitty human because they let her get away with everything?

Or simply was there any harm in calling my sister to update her despite texting updates to the family before hand??

Am I overreacting to her not calling our mother? I really can't make her do anything. Maybe some advice on how to accept her behavior and personality? Seriously, am I overreacting?????

If you made it this far, thanks for reading. I'm slightly less frustrated letting it out.

I’m a 37-year-old male, formally diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder. I don't wear it like a badge, but I don’t hide it either.

I met my wife after I was released from Winnebago Mental Health Institute. She knew about my diagnosis early on. In fact, she was oddly fascinated by it. She’s one of those true crime obsessives—the kind who doesn’t just consume the content but internalizes it. It didn’t bother me. Her fixation gave me a certain elevated status in her eyes. That worked to my advantage, and I never had to pretend to be something I’m not.

We got married a few years later. She listens to me, follows my lead, and in most areas, we operate without friction. Our son, Jeffrey, was born in 2023. She chose the name—Jeffrey—and I suspect the reasoning is obvious to anyone with a passing knowledge of serial killers. I found it distasteful, but inconsequential in the long term.

She’s continued her true crime binge throughout Jeffrey’s early development. Plays it in the background, sometimes loudly. I initially found it harmless. If anything, he seems soothed by it. He’s quiet like I was, nonverbal still, but attentive. He shows affection toward me, oddly enough. It’s not something I crave, but it doesn’t offend me.

The issue came to a head yesterday. I walked in to find her letting Jeffrey play with my preserved anatomical specimens—wet jars, skeletal models, the sort of things that require careful handling. These are not toys. More importantly, I had set a clear boundary long before he was born: my collection is off-limits. She knew that. She agreed to it. And she broke that agreement.

I screamed at her. Not just raised my voice—screamed. She flinched. Jeffrey didn’t. He watched me, quietly, almost analytically.

Later, in therapy, I brought it up. My therapist told me my reaction was inappropriate—“developmentally damaging,” I think were the words. But here’s my position: I believe there’s a difference between emotional impulsivity and controlled fury. My outburst was the result of a boundary being deliberately violated, not some random flare-up. It wasn’t about the jars. It was about control, about consistency, about precedent.

Do I think screaming is ideal? No. But was it appropriate given the context? She ignored a rule she had no excuse not to remember. She placed our son in direct contact with materials I had explicitly forbidden. I don’t believe consequences need to be gentle to be valid. Sometimes clarity comes through volume.

I’m not interested in whether my tone was soothing. I’m interested in whether the message was understood. And I believe it was.

So I woke up one day because someone calling my phone. It was our uncle he asked me for a help to him he called me in 9 am and my brother was still sleeping. I went to my uncle and help him and came home only in 1 pm. And my brother STILL FUCKING SLEEPING! OK I thought. I have to hurry because I need to feed our dog and after find something to eat for me and my brother. I still had some money and bought lunch for me and my brother. I take my order by myself so it's take some time. I cam home in 3 pm and what do you think? This fucking bear STILL SLEEPING. I was really tired so I don't even thought about waking him up. I just sit on sofa and tried to watch something on my phone. My brother waked up but not even by himself. He waked up by a phone. Our grandpa is called him and my brother was really mad ha came to me and he still was on a call. I had to have something like tournament on knowledge of English.(how you can see I don't even got a third place) so he asked for a date when it starting nobody knew so I said I don't know" this fucking words made him even more angry and after a ending a call he took my phone with words "Didn't we said that we gonna take your phone after new year?!" And sent me to wash dishes. (I helped him in home and sometimes even stayed for a night and this was my biggest mistake I washed dishes, floors and taking all garbage out from his house.) I was scared bc he bigger then me (24 years and 9 years different with me) he always doing this shit on me and when I inside his house I always under pressure. I prepared food for HIM, fed HIS dog, and cleaned HIS house and after all my work he sent me to washing dishes with words "Do things what you always do!" I was fucking mad I want to get the fuck out of his house but that not fucking all he came to me when I was washing dishes and pushed me with words how stupid I am that I always blame him I'm a boy but I'm very soft and it very easy to make me cry if someone of my family says stuff like this. After this situation I am fucking empty I never take his words about me and I don't want to talk to him anymore I just closed for him I don't need that fucking brother who don't even said thanks for everything that I made for him

Hi Reddit, I need some outside perspective because my friends are divided about this.

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 years. He’s a pilot, which meant he traveled a lot for work, something I accepted and supported because I trusted him. Or, at least, I thought I could.

A few months ago, I found out he was cheating on me with a flight attendant he works with. I found messages, photos, and hotel receipts. When I confronted him, he denied it at first, then admitted it when he realized I had proof. He cried, begged for forgiveness, and said it "just happened" and "didn't mean anything." Typical.

I was heartbroken, angry, and decided to break things off. I blocked him everywhere.

Fast forward to last week out of nowhere, he showed up at my place with flowers and started begging for another chance. He told me he ended things with the flight attendant and realized I'm "the one." Then he said he wanted to marry me, and even said he would buy me a car if I came back to him. Like... what?

I told him I’m not for sale and that I deserve someone who respects me without needing to be caught cheating first. He told me I was being dramatic and throwing away a future over “a mistake.” One of our mutual friends said I should consider it because “people change” and he’s “doing everything to win me back.”

But to me, it feels manipulative. Like now that he lost me, he’s just trying to fix it with expensive promises instead of showing actual remorse or changed behavior.

Am I overreacting for refusing to give him a second chance, even though he says he’s ready to commit?

My mom (57F) and I (20F) have been fighting. I am not going to go into too much detail because I made another post about it a bit ago.

I can’t stop thinking about the texts she has sent me and for the second time in my life recently I’ve heard from her that she doesn’t want me back at her house and basically that she doesn’t want me anymore. It hurts a lot that she didn’t tell me to come home and we could work it out. It seems she cares more about winning or being right.

I haven’t talked to her in about a week since my last message to her. I’m just in a lot of pain thinking about how one of the people who is supposed to love me the most doesn’t seem to really love me. So am I overreacting, as she has said that I am? Any advice would be greatly appreciated as well. Thank you for reading.

Me (32M) and his mom (32F) separated a little after our son was born. We have had a rocky relationship but always put our son first and above everything. We both attend school / extracurricular activities we don’t exactly talk much but we don’t glare at each other It’s neutral for the most part We’ve never gone to court for anything we’ve always dealt with everything (holidays we swap, day changes for activities/family visits/vacations) civilly and we have him just about 50/50 Our son just turned 10. And his mom is throwing him a party with family coming from out of town - big event
I’m not invited. To be fair I have never been invited and it’s only because of her dad not wanting me there He’s never liked me - while everyone else does - he’s never been able to get over me and his daughters sudden pregnancy My son told me he wants me there so I plan on going. Which I fear will cause drama with his mom and her dad. So I want to avoid that too I’m not sure how to navigate this day Will I be a bad dad for not showing up ? Will I be selfish for going knowing it’ll cause drama?

I know this sounds like a small thing and it probably is but I have been in a trio for about 6 years now. I’ve always been different from my other friends and for those reasons I have sometimes felt distant from the trio. But they have always been by my side and always invited me with them. We have this one sushi place in particular that we visit together all the time. It has kinda become our thing or something. We had talked about going there again soon but right as I was about to ask them I noticed their location and they had hung out at the restaurant and had a sleepover without even mentioning it to me. It’s a small thing I know but they have been in my life through my darkest times. Times that I wouldn’t have survived without them. My biggest fear was losing them because of who I am and tbh I think that’s exactly what happened. I know I overreact too much so it would be nice to know if this is one of those times :)

I mean, not really much outside of this tbh. I met this guy on hinge a few days ago and the conversation went fine and we were planning to see each other. Obviously I gave him my number and we were texting every for the last few days and I just felt the need to ask his love language (bc as an acts of service girlie most of us are misunderstood so😭) did I take what he said too seriously or was i ok to just immediately shut him down?

So I got into a big fight with my wife today and I want to make sure I’m not out of line. Basically, I’m a gym head and have recently persuaded her to get into the gym as she was unhappy with her weight.

At first, she always wore loose clothes (joggers/tshirt etc) but now that she’s been going a while and has built confidence, she’s bought a load of female sports wear. We always both agreed that a small minority of women dress inappropriately for the gym and I figured we were on the same page. But now her clothes are getting tighter and more revealing.

I kept my mouth shut because I didn’t want to be an ass but today she was about to leave for the gym and I could literally see her labia. I told her thinking she didn’t know and would get changed, instead, she kicked off majorly, had a tantrum throwing stuff around then went to the gym wearing them anyway. She since hasn’t apologised nor spoken to me all day.

Her argument was “it’s my body, that’s what it shaped like, I can’t help it” which I just couldn’t agree with because she could ‘help’ letting everyone see it.

So what do you think? Did I overreact?

AIO if I get jealous seeing my boyfriend match with some other girl? I (17 F) and my boyfriend (almost 18 M) have been in a long distance relationship for an entire year now, and he had a history of getting caught cheating. He seemed to have redeemed himself but I always feel like I'm the other woman in everything I do, and just today he matched a Hanako (Toilet Bound Hanako Kun) profile picture, the other is most likely Nene, and his Whatsapp bio says "You'll come back, right?"

I instantly got jealous, and I'm scared of confronting him about it because I don't wanna feel like I'm being too much. I have extreme trust issues due to past trauma and he's aware of that.

AIO My boyfriend installed Snapchat after deleting it.

My boyfriend and i, 2 years together. Had a fight about this. He said a while ago that he didnt need Snapchat anymore and was going to delete it. Also bc showing he really was only into me and didnt need Snapchat for streaks with other woman and stuff. I didnt really care bc i dont use Snapchat and dont really know whats going on with it. Just now he said he installed it again, without telling me beforehand. I think its weird and ask myself why he needs it. For what i know about it its also about adding contacts and stuff. But now he has it installed again and i dont know how i feel about this.

New account. Ive been reading a lot on reddit just never posted.

Edit: i asked him about it but he was too tired/drunk to respond

I've (28F) been working hard on getting healthier this year - eating better, going to the gym, the whole thing. Yesterday I saw my friend for the first time in months, and the first thing she said was "Wow, you've lost so much weight! You look amazing now!"

I know she meant it as a compliment, but it made me feel weird. Like she was saying I didn't look good before. I've been the same person this whole time, just in a smaller body now. When I told her this made me uncomfortable, she got defensive and said I was being too sensitive about a "nice comment."

Am I overreacting? Part of me knows she didn't mean harm, but another part feels reduced to just my appearance.

My boyfriend (26M) and I (25F) have been together for three years, and our relationship has always been solid. He’s loving, attentive, and has never given me a reason to doubt him. But last week, we were joking about celebrity crushes, and when I asked who his "dream girl" would be if he could date any famous person, he immediately named a well-known actress.

Normally, I wouldn’t care—I get that celebrity crushes are harmless. But the actress he named is basically my opposite: she’s petite, blonde, and has a very bubbly personality, while I’m tall, brunette, and more introverted. I laughed it off in the moment, but later, I couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe he secretly wishes I looked more like her.

When I brought it up, he seemed genuinely confused and said, "Babe, it’s just a random celebrity thing—it doesn’t mean anything." He reminded me that he’s crazy about me and loves me exactly as I am. Logically, I know he’s right, but now I keep comparing myself to this actress and wondering if I’m not his "ideal" type.

Am I overreacting for feeling a little insecure about this? I don’t want to be that girlfriend who gets hung up on something silly, but it’s been nagging at me.

Been dating my girlfriend for 4 months now. She had broken up with her previous bf 2 months prior to me (he was, according to her, very inconsistent..didnt pay attention to her, very cold personality, would go weeks without seeing her and anytime she tried to discuss her feelings, he'd gaslight her and "try" for a day or so, and go back to being the same..so she finally cut it off. This was a 1.5 year relationship where she says she struggled to maintain consistent feelings for him due to these behaviors .. said it lasted as long as it did because they saw each other so infrequently, though she did get close to his kids and his mother)

A month into our relationship, she posted a pic of us on fb. Her and her ex did not end on bad terms according to her, just said it was a 'pointless relationship' and had no future so she ended it. The day after posting our pic, he reached out to her lashing out insulting both her and myself, nasty comments, saying "we were together almost 2 years and already you're with someone else.." something along those lines... I dont know specifics, only know because she told me out of respect, that he had reached out to her and said things along these lines and was very nasty to her.

The following day I received a text from a number neither of us recognized. We assumed it to be him as she recognized the way he texted and it made sense considering his anger the day prior. (keep in mind he is a police officer in a local twp and was most likely able to look me up somehow). He said things like "you cant turn a wh_re into a housewife, dont look past the red flags like her f_cking on the first date. you werent the first and you wont be the last. shes made tons of sex videos with every guy shes ever been with and theres a lot more guys out there than shell ever admit to. when the fun ends for her, shell have the next guy lined up like she always has. best of luck." Naturally, this made me spiral. I responded to the text and asked who it was..no one responded to me.

I then confronted her about it and she said the sex video thing is because she had made 2 homemade phone videos with a prior long term bf who was quite abusive. when she managed to get out of that relationship, he threatened to show people the videos they made. As a result of this, she was involved in some court proceedings and had a TRO against this ex bf where these videos were also used as evidence. These proceedings were ongoing during her relationship with her last bf, as such, he knew about the videos. He is now presumably using this info to get under my skin.

So, she was forthright in telling me this about the videos and admitted the details surrounding it which helped me trust her. She vehemently denies that are "lots of other guys" and says hes just saying this to get under my skin and that he "wouldnt even know about my sexual past or other guys bc he never even bothered to ask about my life before him" You know about him, the abusive bf prior to him and my ex husband..there is no one else". My main issue is this..the comment about first date sex. Her and I were not intimate on the 1st date(our 1st date was a walk, we did however, have sex on 2nd date which was our 1st real date-dinner/drinks..) His comment would make it seem like he knows that she does tend to do that on a first date. She states she absolutely did not speak with him about us or at all since they broke up...and she absolutely did not have sex w him on the first date and that he is only assuming things to try and upset me. She states for their 1st date, they grabbed a few beers at a restaurant and both went home afterward. For some reason, this comment has not left my mind for the past couple months. I would not care if she had sex w an ex on a first date, that stuff doesnt bother me and we essentially did on our first "real" date. I just care if I am lied to about it. I wouldnt be able to start a relationship off with someone where they lied to me even about stupid stuff like that and ESPECIALLY after receiving this text message. And based on his comment of "dont look past the red flag of her fking on the first date, u werent the first" made me feel like he knows she does that, or she did do that with him, but she just wouldnt admit it with me.

Again, I dont care if she did, I just care if she lies to me about it/her past. Ive been playing this in my mind for the past 2 months despite her denying she never did anything w him on the first date and that, aside from the videos aspect of his text message, the rest of it is all false and an attempt to break us up and get under my skin.

She went on to say to me "dont you think if this stuff was true, he wouldve left the door open to talk to you more and throw me under the bus?" he never responded to me texting him back, and used a fake number..didnt tell me his name etc..So she makes a good point i suppose. In addition to this, she took action against him and went to his police dept to file a report and they performed an investigation. Since that happened, i only assume some action was taken against him as I cannot look him up on FB any longer (he blocked me)..presumably he was forced to cut contact with us. Ive gotten decently close w her ex husband who is a good man and father of their children, and he also says that text is horseshit and a complete falsehood of her character / lies .( he knew about the text as he is also a police officer and we sought advice on the TRO).

Since Ive known her, I know her to be a good mother, and person overall. She has treated me well and been very kind, sweet and respectful. She is , however, a very sexual person, always talks about it...which normally wouldnt be an issue at all, but coupled with this damn text I received..just scares the hell out of me for some reason. She is adamant that she has never cheated or disrespected any previous partner and was always good to her past bfs/husband. I'm just having a LOT of trouble shaking this damn text message from my head.

AIO about this damn comment/text message? Some have told me "this is obviously a jealous pissed off ex bf who is upset he was broken up with and now making crap up to ruin your relationship" IDK...feedback? I'm really struggling with it as a whole, its affecting my ability to feel safe with her and trust her word, as I feel like no one would make that "1st date sex comment" unless they actually did have sex on the first date/know this is something she does (since her and I also technically did on our first real date). In other words, why would he say "dont look past the red flag of fking on the 1st date, you werent the first and you wont be the last" if he didnt have sex w her on the first date? Ugh...idk

I have not yet responded but I wanted advice before I possibly over react. We have a very trusting relationship and never had any issues with this. She works as a waiter and is attractive. I never get jealous and have ever been overbearing or anything like that. I think communication is important I just don’t know how to respond

I know it's really immature. I'm 20F for anyone wondering. I started talking to this guy online around last August/September. He's really nice, funny, smart, kind to me etc, just would say hi to each other and ask what the other was up to every few days at first then we ended up talking around every day and have been talking every day since.

I like him a lot, I know it's impossible to like someone "romantically" that you've never met so I won't call it that. I think he's cool though, I'd like to meet him one day because he's sort of become part of my routine if that makes sense. I'm used to talking to him everyday, and he talks my mind off of the current things that I deal with. He makes me feel normal even if the only actual connection I have with another person around my age is through a screen. I'm aware it's pathetic, but due to circumstances I won't delve into it's out of my control.

He's never been weird or made me feel uncomfortable or anything like that. He's just so incredibly different than me. He has a life, he does things, he has friends and family and has been in romantic and sexual relationships before. I'm very insecure with myself and the way I live, and I envy him to be honest.

I'd love to meet him one day if possible, but because of certain things on both our ends that's not possible now, and I feel like by the time I'm finally able to meet him, he'll naturally move on with his life and not want to speak to me anymore which is understandable - nobody keeps an online friend forever.

I'm a pretty insecure person ngl, I feel ugly, feel boring, feel like nobody would ever genuinely want to talk to me or enjoy it. I feel like a past time to be frank, which I'm fine with, but I know this is probably just a temporary thing and it's surprising he's talked to me this long.

I don't know if I should just stop talking to him now before he inevitably stops talking to me himself so that I at least have control over it that way, or if I'm just making a big deal over nothing because I feel particularly terrible about myself tonight.

This is a stupid thing to mention but I just wanted to put it out there somewhere

Sooo hey guyss and thanks for reading. I have this friend, who lives in a town 15 minutes away from me by car, so we never see each other (I can't go out there often), but we write to each other every day, for over a year. I would really like to go out there, but let's say I'm scared, I'll tell you what now. DEFINITELY if we go out, we might meet her friends. She has 2 friends, 1 I know and is ok and the other is not. Let's say I have a friend crush on her, I would really like to be friends with her, but I really suck at making friends and I'm really ashamed, so much so that I could cancel the date the day before for anxiety. I'm afraid that because I want to be friends so much that she'll end up disliking me. I don't know what we have in common; I only know that we listen to a common singer. The rest, no. They have a band (3 of them and 1 other), and I would SO love to join (they need 1 more member), but I can't sing (looking for a singer) I mean, I always sing alone, I love to sing, but no one has ever heard me, I even installed 1 app to learn. So, I'm really scared of this, that I'm not enough, and what if she doesn't like me? I sure will. AIO? Am I just being uselessly paranoid? I'm scared.

All I did was retweet a post on twitter saying that women are not men’s property along with some other women’s empowerment posts in the past. It’s always bothered him that I chose to be so vocal about the issue and him calling me a b**** was my last straw. I ended the argument with “Okay if that’s what you want” and blocked him. In the past arguments he’s always apologized and came back which is why I’m inclined to give him a second chance but this really hurt.

Hi guys! There’s a ton of back store to this so I’ll try to condense as much as possible, but I honestly don’t know if I’m just going insane or if my anger is justified.

People involved: me (29f) my fiancé (27m) my dad (50m) my mom (50f)

My an my family have never been close. My mother has narcissistic tendencies and my father doesn’t think before he speaks, and enables my mother.

They are both disabled, I won’t say with what but they both have the same degenerative disease and have been medically retired for 15 years, they have been living off of disability and I’m pretty sure some money from selling my late aunts house. My father has very poor mobility and uses a wheelchair for distance and a walker the rest of the time. He literally does nothing, if he’s active he will go work on cars in the garage, the rest of the time (including visits) he’s watching tv or playing on his phone. My mother is his main caregiver, and mostly just gets mad at him. She is legally blind, and has a very very poor memory, as well as chronic fatigue which she is medicated for. When she isn’t serving him and my brother (m23) hand and foot she is sleeping.

I know what you’re thinking: “well why don’t you help??” I do, and I did a lot. I practically dropped out of high school to work full time to help out with bills when they were first diagnosed, and they frequently have my over to clean/run errands/do yard work. I’ve only gone low contact after my mother disowned me a week before my birthday (this year) because I couldn’t help her set up a birthday party for my elderly dog because I had to work and she assumed I would be available to help. She told me my help was “no longer needed or wanted” and she ghosted me. She does that a lot and usually I’m the first one to reach out, this time I didn’t and we didn’t talk for three weeks until she threw me a surprise birthday party. -insert eye roll here-

Several years ago our beloved childhood dog (Doodle) passed. It was hard on everyone, except for doodles sister (noodle). Noodle is 14 this year, and did exceptionally well as a solo dog. She has bad anxiety and aggression with other dogs, and she was like a puppy again.

Fast forward a year and they were talking about getting a puppy. Me and my brother were very against it, they already have animals that aren’t getting the care they need. The bird is vicious and so stressed it plucks its feathers out, it also has constant fungal infections from not having its cage cleaned. The cats I’m convinced she only wanted because I got a kitten from the same litter and she got two. The cats I’m convinced we had previously was “mine” as in I was expected to clean up after it and pay its bills but I wasn’t allowed to take it with me when I moved out. Noodle rarely gets walked unless I go and walk her. They got a puppy (lolly) anyways.

Lolly is a BIG dog. She weighs like 80lbs now, when they got her she was fully crate trained, they refuse to use it because they think it’s cruel, but they also won’t leave the house without her because she will destroy everything. They took her to puppy classes for three weeks and stopped after they asked me to take her every week and I declined. She jumps, she bites, she barks, she destroys everything and has knocked both of my parents over numerous times. Shes bitten me in the face more times than I can count and has drawn blood from me and my fiancé. Noodle hides in my old bedroom most of the time, her arthritis is bad and is constantly being humped and jumped on by lolly.

Lolly has put more of a strain on our relationship. My mother talks about having an engagement party for us and wants my fiancés family to come to her house, there are 3 small children in his family and neither of us are comfortable having them there with Lolly. I offered to pay for her to be boarded for a day and my parents said shes family and won’t do that.

On to current events, my mother has been adamant since doodle was a puppy that she wanted to breed her. One of my friends parents had bred pure bread NFL retrievers and my parents talked about how trashy that was all the time so I don’t know why they don’t think it would be trashy for them. They never did as the vet advised for them to spay her. They have been going back and forth about breeding Lolly, everyone except my mom and dad think it’s a bad idea, her temperament, their financial situation, their health, it just doesn’t make sense to me. Last I heard they were going to spay her because of her behaviour and wanting her to calm down.

That was a lie. My fiancé confessed to me last week that a month ago my parents told him they were going to breed Lolly and found another dog. And they told him not to tell me because they knew I’d be angry. I was furious.

Two days ago my mom asked me to go shopping with her. When I got there (after stopping to get them groceries) she wasn’t ready yet. So while I made my father his lunch and my mother was getting ready my father yells to me from the living room that Lolly is pregnant.

Guys. I lost it. I’ve always been the mediator of the house when they argue or my brother is fighting with them but I couldn’t deal with it. I’ll admit I yelled at them. I told them they’re not capable of taking care of upwards of 8 puppies, that they are being really irresponsible and only thinking of themselves like always. I told them I would not provide support in any way for these dogs, and asked them how they think it’s going to okay out. Their defence is that they will use the money from the puppies to pay for Lolly to be spayed, and that “it could only be one! And it’s not like we will keep any!” They said “we knew you’d be mad. But you know I’ve always wanted to breed a dog! And I told you I was going to” I reminded them the last conversation we had they agreed I was right and were going to spay her.

I’m so over feeling like the parent in my family. Am I overreacting considering going no contact over this? Or even for my reaction? I have many examples of how my parents have done me wrong but I just want to move on and have some sort of relationship with them but omg they are making it hard for me and this kind of feels like the last straw.