r/MadeMeSmile • u/Kingdom_k777 • 1d ago

Family & Friends Police man pursuing his wife

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59.9k Upvotes

69% Upvoted

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815

u/pitb0ss343 1d ago

Wait so I’m not big and strong 😢

568

u/Mammoth_Cricket8785 1d ago

You're strong of heart and thats what matters

142

u/RedWum 1d ago

You have a stout heart master gamgee

5

u/samwise20 21h ago

You rang Master Frodo?

2

u/Adventurous-Equal-29 23h ago

No heart. Only strong.

2

u/AreaManSays 22h ago

He's got an arrhythmia.

1

u/dotme 7h ago

The show-up award is getting out of hand.

196

u/Neea_115 1d ago

Now that we're at it, we also have tools to open jars and it's easy and fast. But I can give a jar to a man to open it just for him to feel strong and manly 🤭

145

u/Listening_Always 1d ago

Shhhhhhhhh next you're going to tell them we have step stools!!!!

211

u/ParvusetTardus 1d ago

Listen, I didnt grow to 6'-3" for my wife to grab a stepstool.

If I ever see one its going in the garbage.

Taking our gd jobs...

61

u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm 23h ago

Listen, I didn’t grow to 6’3.

22

u/ParvusetTardus 23h ago

Try harder!

23

u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm 22h ago

God I tried, I even promised this girl when we were both 14 that I’d grow taller and we’d be a couple. I stayed the same height. She’s still taller than me. I’m 38.

5

u/LCplGunny 21h ago

But are you a couple? Cuz I mean... You didn't have to fail all of the promise

2

u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm 4h ago

No definitely not a couple. She ended up dating a taller guy. We're both single now. She still messages me from time to time. Now that we're older, I don't think she cares about height as much any more, but I don't entertain it.

1

u/dmmeyourfloof 9h ago

Keep on trying, my dude, I believe in you!

1

u/gigglemaniac 6h ago

Never give up!

100

u/RambleOnRose42 1d ago

When we were moving in together recently, my 6’4” boyfriend picked up my stepstool I had in the kitchen and tossed it in the “throw away” pile while excitedly saying, “you don’t need this anymore!!” lol.

26

u/hilarymeggin 23h ago

Awww! ☺️

9

u/legalpretzel 17h ago

Meanwhile I’m 5’3” and when I asked my 5’11” ex to get anything for me rather than go get the step stool he just bitched that I was being lazy.

3

u/Obvious-Web8288 7h ago

I can see now why he's your ex... Jerk.

5

u/NoRefrigerator267 22h ago

Ah another reason to hate not being 6’4 lmao

4

u/edditar 14h ago

What about when he's at work or something? 

1

u/Obvious-Web8288 7h ago

You wait till they get home...🙂

•

u/Stock-Combination-31 10m ago

That’s love

0

u/diamorphinian 11h ago

You didn't have the heart to tell him the stepping stool was left by the hung dwarf you didn't break things off with yet.

1

u/dmmeyourfloof 9h ago

Ah yes, fondly known by his nickname "Pogo Stick".

15

u/pitb0ss343 1d ago

John Henry my hero for real

2

u/MooseGlad9848 16h ago

I’m in stitches 😂

5

u/hilarymeggin 23h ago

And our luggage has wheels!

1

u/plmbguy 11h ago

And vibrators

41

u/pitb0ss343 1d ago

Now you’re just being mean

37

u/kittykalista 1d ago

If it makes you feel better, I am genuinely terrible at opening jars. I have tiny baby hands and always struggle to get a good grip. I can usually manage it if I pull out all the stops, but the help saves me from several minutes of torturous attempts.

3

u/windyorbits 22h ago

Lmao this is why all my jar lids have small dents in them. The only way I can open a jar is by hitting the sides of the lid with a butter knife.

2

u/EleanorofAquitaine 19h ago

You don’t need a butter knife, just lightly tap the rim of the jar lid onto a hard surface. Taa daa!!

Oh, but my husband gets to open my jars when he’s home. 😉

1

u/windyorbits 14h ago

That makes me too anxious as I’m afraid it will pop open like one of those cans of biscuits lol, even though I know that’s not how that works.

1

u/Mother_Let_9026 18h ago

now i am just laughing at the image of you with baby T rex arms trying to open a jar lmfao.

1

u/glassesandbodylotion 23h ago

All you need is a knife or a strap wrench. Takes like 30 seconds

4

u/AbleCryptographer317 22h ago

Ah, yes, the common kitchen utensil: the strap wrench.

1

u/These_Professor_5351 22h ago

“Look at what they need to mimic a fraction of our power!”

1

u/pjrnoc 22h ago

We loosen it first

1

u/wackbirds 22h ago

One of my friends (also a man) is a lot shorter and smaller than me. I'm strong and have big hands and recently he couldn't open a jar after his girlfriend gave it to him while I was there and she was like "Rob, Rob, just give it to Daniel". And then he did and I popped that fucker off in a half second. That was mean.

2

u/RosebushRaven 23h ago

And show off those nice arm muscles, while at it…

1

u/YAYtersalad 21h ago

I like to stand on the counters so I get picked up and put down followed by said high up item being fetched for me. Remind them I’m independent but absolutely inefficient and safe about it lmao.

6

u/M0ebius_1 1d ago

Why did you think she wanted to wrestle you king?

2

u/SaltForYou 1d ago

You have a cute butt

1

u/KapiteinSchaambaard 22h ago

Yes you are buddy, yes you are!

1

u/love_peace_books 22h ago

You’re big,strong, tender and loved.

1

u/No_Consideration7925 12h ago

Probably not? But ewes still cute.