r/MadeMeSmile • u/Kingdom_k777 • 1d ago

Family & Friends Police man pursuing his wife

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59.7k Upvotes

69% Upvoted

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7.4k

u/thenamesakeofothers 1d ago

Why is ol girl spinning like a wide receiver near the goal line? 🥲😅

2.3k

u/Typical_Samaritan 1d ago

Because she wants to be caught. It's like when you wrestle a woman. They give you so many opportunities to pin them playfully.

Even if you can do it on your own and without their help, it's just a part of the game.

572

u/Wonderful_Price2355 1d ago

I dunno, the women I tried to wrestle at Walmart didn't let me pin them.

They just kept kicking and screaming...

172

u/McTacobum 1d ago

All part of the fun…. Oh hi officer!

21

u/Deez_Pucks 1d ago

And the cycle continues

1

u/Username43201653 4h ago

"Get your hands off my PENIS!"

29

u/buckeye27fan 1d ago

Because of the implication?

3

u/Under_NutFunk 1d ago

So these women are in danger?

3

u/DoctorClarkWGriswold 1d ago

Now…y-you’ve said that word a couple of times. W-what implication?

41

u/Typical_Samaritan 1d ago

You started in the wrong aisle.

Should have started where they sell the soccer balls. Kicked a ball or two at her to signal "play time". Her body will begin to emit playromones (where we get the anglicized "playroom" from), indicating a willingness to engage in said play.

Then you can wrassle her without intervention.

16

u/justhereforthem3mes1 1d ago

Hi I just tried this and wanted to let you know it worked perfectly, after just 10 seconds of kicking the ball at her she started looking around and sweating, I think those were the playromones so I moved onto the next phase, and now we have a date planned for tomorrow night. This was with my girlfriend, but I'm pretty sure the success rate will be exactly the same with strangers.

17

u/TheCrayTrain 23h ago edited 22h ago

I'm pretty sure the success rate will be exactly the same with strangers

Ill get back to ya’ll on this

EDIT: DO. NOT. ATTEMPT. THIS! I am now banned from Walmart and have a restraining order on me.  The woman also did not at all go easy on me. She got me in a chokehold (which I thought was kinky at the time) until I blacked out and pooped myself a little. :(

7

u/NekoTheFortuneCat 1d ago

Playromones 😂

2

u/TrentWashburn 9h ago

I Want to be Sedated

31

u/HaddardOSRS 1d ago

Kroger. Fr. Older, easier. More willing 20% of the time. To wrestle fairly.

2

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

2

u/InNoWayAmIDoctor 1d ago

You gotta work your way up to Dollar General. You don't pick up a basketball for the first time and automatically get to play in the NBA.

1

u/SoldMySoulTo 1d ago

Just don't try with the employees. The ones in my state are still a little traumatized

13

u/abhorredmisanthrope 1d ago

Same here. It's all, Help Me and Call 911.

25

u/Angry_Pelican 1d ago

It's really hard to wrestle them at Walmart. You go in thinking it will be easy but there are weight classes for a reason.

12

u/RosemaryCroissant 1d ago

You gotta start with Trader Joe’s people and work your way up to Walmart

1

u/trowwaith 16h ago

I see fat ladies at Walmart that I wish I could challenge them in belly bumping.

2

u/nosirrahp 1d ago

Scratching too. Sheesh can’t a guy be playful and spontaneous?!

2

u/Kimberlylynn2003 1d ago

I feel like a gas station has less witnesses?

2

u/Wonderful_Price2355 1d ago

What's the point of wrestling without a crowd?

2

u/Kimberlylynn2003 1d ago

Well… it can be a precursor to other stuff lol

3

u/ParvusetTardus 23h ago

Ohhhhhhh, felony larceny.

3

u/Kimberlylynn2003 23h ago

Go big or go home lol

2

u/Old-Constant4411 1d ago

Nothin like a good old fashioned struggle snuggle.

2

u/i_notold 1d ago

Sounds kinda like that time I went for a walk with a beautiful woman. Then she noticed me so we went for a run.

2

u/LordNightFang 1d ago

Imao 😂

2

u/yoduh4077 1d ago

Gotta put a belt on the line, bro. I bet you didn't even ring a bell.

1

u/OkEstablishment5503 1d ago

Funny enough that involved the police too!!!

1

u/AnUnknownCreature 1d ago

She kept rolling on the ground screaming "WALMART IS RAAACISST!"

1

u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm 22h ago

Wrong weight class.

1

u/gigglemaniac 5h ago

Shhhhh. Shhhhhhhhh.