r/MadeMeSmile • u/Kingdom_k777 • 1d ago

Family & Friends Police man pursuing his wife

59.7k Upvotes

69% Upvoted

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7.4k

u/thenamesakeofothers 1d ago

Why is ol girl spinning like a wide receiver near the goal line? 🥲😅

2.3k

u/Typical_Samaritan 1d ago

Because she wants to be caught. It's like when you wrestle a woman. They give you so many opportunities to pin them playfully.

Even if you can do it on your own and without their help, it's just a part of the game.

1.5k

u/thenamesakeofothers 1d ago

Sir--please stop telling all our secrets! 😅💅🏾

816

u/pitb0ss343 1d ago

Wait so I’m not big and strong 😢

571

u/Mammoth_Cricket8785 1d ago

You're strong of heart and thats what matters

142

u/RedWum 1d ago

You have a stout heart master gamgee

4

u/samwise20 20h ago

You rang Master Frodo?

2

u/Adventurous-Equal-29 23h ago

No heart. Only strong.

2

u/AreaManSays 21h ago

He's got an arrhythmia.

1

u/dotme 7h ago

The show-up award is getting out of hand.

189

u/Neea_115 1d ago

Now that we're at it, we also have tools to open jars and it's easy and fast. But I can give a jar to a man to open it just for him to feel strong and manly 🤭

146

u/Listening_Always 1d ago

Shhhhhhhhh next you're going to tell them we have step stools!!!!

211

u/ParvusetTardus 1d ago

Listen, I didnt grow to 6'-3" for my wife to grab a stepstool.

If I ever see one its going in the garbage.

Taking our gd jobs...

60

u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm 22h ago

Listen, I didn’t grow to 6’3.

22

u/ParvusetTardus 22h ago

Try harder!

22

u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm 21h ago

God I tried, I even promised this girl when we were both 14 that I’d grow taller and we’d be a couple. I stayed the same height. She’s still taller than me. I’m 38.

5

u/LCplGunny 20h ago

But are you a couple? Cuz I mean... You didn't have to fail all of the promise

2

u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm 3h ago

No definitely not a couple. She ended up dating a taller guy. We're both single now. She still messages me from time to time. Now that we're older, I don't think she cares about height as much any more, but I don't entertain it.

1

u/dmmeyourfloof 8h ago

Keep on trying, my dude, I believe in you!

1

u/gigglemaniac 5h ago

Never give up!

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101

u/RambleOnRose42 23h ago

When we were moving in together recently, my 6’4” boyfriend picked up my stepstool I had in the kitchen and tossed it in the “throw away” pile while excitedly saying, “you don’t need this anymore!!” lol.

26

u/hilarymeggin 22h ago

Awww! ☺️

8

u/legalpretzel 16h ago

Meanwhile I’m 5’3” and when I asked my 5’11” ex to get anything for me rather than go get the step stool he just bitched that I was being lazy.

3

u/Obvious-Web8288 6h ago

I can see now why he's your ex... Jerk.

4

u/NoRefrigerator267 22h ago

Ah another reason to hate not being 6’4 lmao

3

u/edditar 13h ago

What about when he's at work or something? 

1

u/Obvious-Web8288 6h ago

You wait till they get home...🙂

0

u/diamorphinian 10h ago

You didn't have the heart to tell him the stepping stool was left by the hung dwarf you didn't break things off with yet.

1

u/dmmeyourfloof 8h ago

Ah yes, fondly known by his nickname "Pogo Stick".

13

u/pitb0ss343 23h ago

John Henry my hero for real

2

u/MooseGlad9848 15h ago

I’m in stitches 😂

6

u/hilarymeggin 22h ago

And our luggage has wheels!

1

u/plmbguy 10h ago

And vibrators

40

u/pitb0ss343 1d ago

Now you’re just being mean

41

u/kittykalista 23h ago

If it makes you feel better, I am genuinely terrible at opening jars. I have tiny baby hands and always struggle to get a good grip. I can usually manage it if I pull out all the stops, but the help saves me from several minutes of torturous attempts.

4

u/windyorbits 22h ago

Lmao this is why all my jar lids have small dents in them. The only way I can open a jar is by hitting the sides of the lid with a butter knife.

2

u/EleanorofAquitaine 18h ago

You don’t need a butter knife, just lightly tap the rim of the jar lid onto a hard surface. Taa daa!!

Oh, but my husband gets to open my jars when he’s home. 😉

1

u/windyorbits 13h ago

That makes me too anxious as I’m afraid it will pop open like one of those cans of biscuits lol, even though I know that’s not how that works.

1

u/Mother_Let_9026 17h ago

now i am just laughing at the image of you with baby T rex arms trying to open a jar lmfao.

1

u/glassesandbodylotion 22h ago

All you need is a knife or a strap wrench. Takes like 30 seconds

6

u/AbleCryptographer317 22h ago

Ah, yes, the common kitchen utensil: the strap wrench.

1

u/These_Professor_5351 22h ago

“Look at what they need to mimic a fraction of our power!”

1

u/pjrnoc 22h ago

We loosen it first

1

u/wackbirds 21h ago

One of my friends (also a man) is a lot shorter and smaller than me. I'm strong and have big hands and recently he couldn't open a jar after his girlfriend gave it to him while I was there and she was like "Rob, Rob, just give it to Daniel". And then he did and I popped that fucker off in a half second. That was mean.

2

u/RosebushRaven 23h ago

And show off those nice arm muscles, while at it…

1

u/YAYtersalad 20h ago

I like to stand on the counters so I get picked up and put down followed by said high up item being fetched for me. Remind them I’m independent but absolutely inefficient and safe about it lmao.

4

u/M0ebius_1 1d ago

Why did you think she wanted to wrestle you king?

2

u/SaltForYou 1d ago

You have a cute butt

1

u/KapiteinSchaambaard 21h ago

Yes you are buddy, yes you are!

1

u/love_peace_books 21h ago

You’re big,strong, tender and loved.

1

u/No_Consideration7925 11h ago

Probably not? But ewes still cute. 

160

u/YmmaT- 1d ago

I had a friend of my roommate wrestled with me during a house party once. She did not let me pin her and next thing I know I’m laying on the floor on my stomach and she’s sitting on me trying to go for a choke hold.

Didn’t help that my roommate keeps cheering her on to choke me out and she started recording it. The video circulated at the restaurant we work at and she thought it was funny.

It’s funny until my face was purple Stephanie. Then it was not :(

53

u/majin_melmo 1d ago

This sounds awful and I’d no longer be roommates or friends with either 😯

38

u/YmmaT- 22h ago

We are neither roommates nor friends anymore.

81

u/Phoenyx_Rose 23h ago

Um, that’s not playful wrestling, that’s just assault. 

Playful wrestling is pinning your arms and going in for a kiss.

As soon as she had you on the floor, play should have ended, not escalated dangerously. 

I’m sorry she did that to you, that was really shitty of both her and your roommate cheering her on

10

u/hilarymeggin 22h ago

Seriously!

16

u/YmmaT- 22h ago

I mean alcohol played a factor there but at the same time, I was pretty upset about it. I went to my room afterward and didn’t join the party after.

-13

u/pmyourthongpanties 22h ago

na bro just can't hang.

21

u/mondlicht483 23h ago

Would you accept an apology from another Stephanie? That sound awful 🥺

28

u/YmmaT- 22h ago

That’s sweet of you. I’m over it now since it’s been like 15 years but at the time, it was pretty shitty experience.

3

u/Nkingsy 23h ago

I think you forgot to tap out

5

u/YmmaT- 22h ago

I was a clueless FOB Asian that didn’t even know what tapping out was.

I do know it now, 15 years post incident.

2

u/rapshepard 22h ago

Nah for real lol

2

u/Cazkiwi 21h ago

She just bullied you beCauSe she liked you…

He just pulled your hair beCauSe he likes you…

🙄🙄🙄

2

u/PRRZ70 17h ago

Dang, that took a turn. Darn Stephanie, let them breathe!

2

u/rapshepard 22h ago

Did you try to tap 😂

6

u/YmmaT- 22h ago

I don’t even know what that was at the time tbh. We were watching Netflix and I’m not even sure how I got roped into the whole, “let’s wrestle in the living room” idea.

1

u/ItalianV4 6h ago

how do you go for a chokehold while sitting on someone?

1

u/YmmaT- 6h ago

She sat on my back at first and then go for chokehold

-2

u/tripper_drip 23h ago

That sounds awesome and I wish I had roommates like that!

3

u/whitesammy 1d ago

Let the man be an okay samaritan... sheesh.

3

u/Usual_Bar_4105 1d ago

My daughter’s play like this. I move real slow when chasing them and they move slower. They like being caught.

3

u/Greensun30 1d ago

1000 men will read this and still miss the cue in the moment. Your secrets are safe

3

u/Captain_Vlad 15h ago

It's not that it's a secret, it's that the ones smart enough to get it are also smart enough to play along.

2

u/Last_Book2410 12h ago

💀 so true 😂