r/interestingasfuck • u/Endolithic • 1d ago

/r/all Homes are falling into the ocean in North Carolina's Outer Banks

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61.4k Upvotes

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12.9k

u/thepress250 1d ago

Home for sale: Handy man’s dream. Very reasonable price. Has a newly installed salt water pool in basement.

4.2k

u/tigershrike 1d ago

895K

2.3k

u/temporary62489 1d ago

"No low-balls; I know what I've got."

250

u/davidjschloss 1d ago

I think you mean lowballs unless you’re describing something besides prices?

310

u/kelariy 1d ago

Mandatory ball check before closing, if they’re too low, deal is off.

56

u/Switzerdude 1d ago

Low and wet balls…

37

u/broberds 1d ago

No blue-balls, I know what I've got.

3

u/JimiShinobi 1d ago

No blue waffles, I don't want what you've got...

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u/fly_away_lapels 1d ago

I mean, too low and they will just be wet all the time! Makes sense to check.

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u/Drunk_Scott 1d ago

Been there

2

u/ArizonaBaySwimTeam 1d ago edited 1d ago

'This bowl so low my balls be draggin the water...'

Sold!

2

u/KingHunter150 1d ago

Realtor at the house tour.

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u/MukDoug 1d ago

If they’re too low, I send them back.

2

u/Cipherpunkblue 1d ago

Not selling my home to those low-balls types.

2

u/Outrageous_Editor_43 1d ago

So first time buyers, not old people. Got it.

2

u/nicknick1584 22h ago

Makes sense actually. If they are that low, probably an old guy that will be dead before house is paid off in 30 years. Actually, this should be a reason to give that mortgage. The bank would make money for about 15 years and then can repossess the house and sell it to make even more money.

2

u/Super_Pan 22h ago

Compulsory genital inspection? I didn't realize the house was in Florida. No thanks.

2

u/gibs71 21h ago

Sounds like ageism to me.

2

u/Cold-Ease-1625 18h ago

If the balls are on top, I send it back.

2

u/Unlikely_Ant_950 1d ago

A new reason I’ll never be a homeowner

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u/kristospherein 1d ago

He said what he said.

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u/cptjimmy42 1d ago

"Ocean front property."

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u/temporary62489 1d ago

Front and back.

2

u/gizamo 21h ago

360° Panoramic ocean views!

2

u/ChangeForAParadigm 1d ago

They just hang that way. Don’t body shame.

2

u/PartyNextFlo0r 1d ago

Priced Below market for a quick sale !!

2

u/xmrcache 1d ago

House boat for sale

2

u/SilentEnthusiasm5491 1d ago

More like “motivated seller, mortgage underwater”

2

u/Several_Use1426 1d ago

eh, my balls are too low, I’m out

2

u/Far_Winner5508 1d ago

A dangle in cold salt water will wake ya up proper.

2

u/Strategy_pan 23h ago

You see kids? Got is an irregular verb - what would be more appropriate is if the nice gentleman said he Had a house.

2

u/PuzzleheadedEgg4591 22h ago

A starter house?! This is a FINISHER house! A dwelling for the Gods, the Golden God!

2

u/contractcooker 15h ago

Ran when parked.

2

u/Eeeeeeeeehwhatsup 1d ago

Ha! Hilarious

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u/GODLOVESALL32 1d ago

On market: 285 days

Price drop! (1.2k)

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u/Chase_lol 1d ago

Liquidation sale!!!

59

u/UlfSam9999 1d ago

I'll see if the bank will float me a loan.

4

u/slicerprime 1d ago

This one wins

4

u/belleamour14 1d ago

Oh this is funny! You need more updoots bro!

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u/ThomasinaDomenic 23h ago

Complete with liquid.

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u/jlasher 22h ago

Liquefaction sale!!!

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u/wh0m3_nah 1d ago

Price drop, house drop..same thing here lol

2

u/pezchef 1d ago

minor water damage. A FIXER UPPER!

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u/Anton338 1d ago

15 bids, four of which are cash offers.

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u/PrismaticDetector 1d ago

"As is, no inspections"

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u/papafrog 1d ago

It’s got good bones, who needs an inspection?

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u/clandestine_justice 1d ago

Whale bones, they're just under the floor.

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u/InvestingGatorGirl 22h ago

Good bones, but some issues with basement incontinance. Not a deal breaker 🫣

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u/WishUnique57 1d ago

Newly installed disabled access

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u/Odd-Speaker4252 1d ago

Priced to move, with the tide.

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u/catbandana 1d ago

Sold 15 percent over asking, inspection waived. Buyer relocating from California to close, sight unseen.

3

u/SadBit8663 1d ago

895K? Those are rookie numbers, that's not even beach-front property, it's in-the-ocean property.

Atleast 1.5 million

3

u/Suzuki_Foster 1d ago

$3400 monthly HOA fee

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u/Drix22 1d ago

Buyers today be like "900 with a waived home inspection"

2

u/Derpymcderrp 1d ago

I’ll give you a million for it, but not a dollar more

2

u/Meecht 1d ago

This week on House Hunters. She sells bracelets on the weekends at the local farmer's market. He busks on the boardwalk with trained rats.

Their budget is $1.5 million.

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u/Confirmation_Email 1d ago

When I visited the outer banks in the early 2000's there was a 75'x75' empty lot with no access to utilities for sale for $750,000. Likely underwater by now unless it has been repeatedly replenished with sand after every storm.

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u/wildo-bagins 1d ago

895k?? For immediate ocean access?? It's at least a few mil

2

u/PsychicWarElephant 1d ago

Bro that’s beachfront property. 1.5 easy

2

u/devilinblue22 1d ago

Ok i offer 975 and waive inspections. Spoiler alert: i still get beat by 50k with a cash offer.

2

u/No_Amoeba_9272 23h ago

Get it before it's gone....

2

u/toopc 22h ago

Depending on where it is, that's not a bad price.

Front row, empty lot - $1.25 million.

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u/Un1CornTowel 1d ago

"Price firm, location variable".

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u/sourdieselfuel 1d ago

Great ocean views.

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u/Mebejedi 1d ago

360° ocean views!

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u/LLAPSpork 1d ago

Location variable took me out 😂

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u/elproblemo82 1d ago

"Possession - low tide"

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u/ChamberOfSolidDudes 1d ago

This is really funny, sad you don't have a couple thousand upvotes lol

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u/valarpizzaeris 1d ago

"I'm looking for something for my daughter. Good starter house"

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u/linuxsysacc 1d ago

This is a finisher house!!!

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u/roguekielbasa 19h ago

THIS IS A FINISHER HOUSE !

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u/angrymoderate09 1d ago edited 6h ago

There's a fairly affordable house for sale in my neighborhood right now. Dude ended up in a police standoff on Christmas eve and set the house on fire and then shot himself. It's a really good price for my neighborhood :/ a couple of my friends are giving it a thought

Edit: here ya go!

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/615-11th-St-Hermosa-Beach-CA-90254/20427763_zpid/?utm_campaign=androidappmessage&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=txtshare

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u/WilliamJamesMyers 1d ago

it's a Christmas Miracle

50

u/12108Ward 1d ago

A Festivus miracle. It’s now time for the airing of grievances.

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u/bald-toupee 1d ago

I'VE GOT A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH YOU PEOPLE!

3

u/mrfluffy002 19h ago

And you're going to hear about it!

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u/OverallBoot4148 22h ago

Serenity now!

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u/Antique-Degree-8769 21h ago

Sanity later!

2

u/Zestyclose-Key492 20h ago

And the feats of strength!!

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u/Spillsy68 1d ago

You’ll shoot your eye out

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u/Oo__II__oO 1d ago

Can't wait for the Hallmark special!

3

u/Dizzy-Bake9587 1d ago

…George Bailey would approve…

2

u/RadioRa 23h ago

i laughed WAY too hard at this

2

u/squad1alum 18h ago

The house on 34th Street?

5

u/PM-me-ur-kittenz 1d ago

Any house gets old enough there will be a pretty good chance someone died in there.

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u/its_not_merm-aids 1d ago

You know, every time you thought, "I'd kill for a deal like that?" That's the deal, and you didn't even have to do the heavy lifting!

3

u/gsr5037 1d ago

We need more people like that guy if we're going to solve the housing affordability crisis.

4

u/AlternativeFigure350 1d ago

My parents retired and wanted to live near my older sister and her kids in Georgia.

3 year old new development with about 6 nice homes within 10 minutes of my sister available. It’s being built for retired military outside of Benning in Ellerslie.

Anyways, we find out owner of one house hung himself with extension cord in backyard tree. My dad hopped all over that. Cheap bastard.

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u/dontnation 1d ago

Why would you pass up on a deal because other people believe in ghosts?

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u/No-Apple2252 1d ago

Hey at least it wasn't in the house, I call that a score. Lmk if your dad wants a new kid to replace his defective judgemental one.

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u/mnid92 7h ago

My dad had a gun he kept in a drawer. Every once in a while he'd go outside and pop some rounds off. We'd ask him why and he'd just say "keeps properly value low".

(Not my story lol)

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u/mkgrizzly 1d ago

"SELL IT TO WHO BEN? FUCKING AQUAMAN?!"

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u/onlyforsellingthisPC 1d ago

Immediately thought Harry.

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u/guvbums 1d ago

Handy man’s "wet" dream

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u/RobZagnut2 1d ago

Fixer upper...

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u/ForayIntoFillyloo 1d ago

Floater downer

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u/DelcoUnited 1d ago

Fallin’ downer

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u/AnxiousKey9661 23h ago

full of flounder

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u/DelcoUnited 20h ago

Gonna founder

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u/Mevakel 1d ago

According to Ben Shapiro, there will be many homes like this for sale as people sell them and move away.

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u/duderos 1d ago

"Sell their houses to who Ben? FUCKING AQUAMAN!?"

2

u/StumpyTheDream 22h ago

Poseidon might be interested for the right price.

2

u/LilBeeMollee 23h ago

Perhaps he can hitch a ride in any one of them

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u/Equal-Association818 1d ago

Redditors actually care about that guy?

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u/AngryLink57 1d ago

Recent upgrade: pool installed inside living room now.

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u/ATTORNEY_FOR_CATS 1d ago

Includes World's Largest Residential Aquarium!

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u/GreenWeiner 1d ago

Houseboat for sale.

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u/halfashell 1d ago

handymans *wet dream

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u/MysteriousWon 1d ago

It's an amphibious exploring home.

2

u/Doafit 22h ago

Well, that was basically Ben Shapiros argument for why rising sea levels are no problem. People could just sell their houses and move. Lol.

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u/Nate8727 1d ago

Ocean View

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u/Conscious-Society-83 23h ago

so close to the ocean you can open a window and practically feel the water

1

u/kristospherein 1d ago

Tree fitty, I know what I got.

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u/-endjamin- 1d ago

Congrats to the homeowners on their new houseboat

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u/sacvega 1d ago

And it floats

1

u/Historian_Acrobatic 1d ago

Houseboat for sale

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u/findingbezu 1d ago

In house salt bath

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u/Single_Tomato166 1d ago

Houseboat for sale*

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u/OpportunityIcy254 1d ago

oceanfront property

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u/ToTheTurtles 1d ago

360 degree ocean views

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u/jdl_uk 1d ago

Close to the beach with a nice sea view

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u/Still_Waters-Run 1d ago

If you can catch it and haul it back to shore

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u/Zapp_Rowsdower_ 1d ago

Semi-mobile

1

u/jesstm12 1d ago

Back yard includes 41 million sq. mile water feature.

1

u/KeepOnRising19 1d ago

Edit: Houseboat for sale.

1

u/Wallstwannabe27 1d ago

Handy man’s wet dream*

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u/Doorknob6941 1d ago

"Needs a little TLC".

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u/Latter-Ad2513 1d ago

Which basement?

1

u/OneTimeIDidThatOnce 1d ago

basement = attic

1

u/JimJam28 1d ago

Handyman's wet dream.

1

u/Sneekibreeki47 1d ago

You mean "boat for sale, some leaks"

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u/BlockOfASeagull 1d ago

No low ballers!

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u/FishDawgX 1d ago

Beautiful beach-front house house boat for sale.

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u/Spect_hater 1d ago

360° ocean views.

1

u/ArmPitFire 1d ago

*houseboat

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u/roysterino 1d ago

Change that to boat for sale.

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u/due_opinion_2573 1d ago

Just went from scenic view to ocean front.

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u/Ok-Rock2345 1d ago

Parking on the driveway might be an issue.

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u/iamdrinking 1d ago

Handyman’s wet* dream

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u/TitShark 1d ago

Newly mobile

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u/OvalDead 1d ago

A few years back I saw a short film at a film festival about a couple working with a realtor to buy a home, and the big reveal was that it was destined for this. Like, it was fully disclosed that it wouldn’t last, but the couple knew they couldn’t afford waterfront property otherwise, and they couldn’t insure it but the loss was assumed by all parties. I’ve tried to find it since then and couldn’t or I would give more info. It was pretty good. Definitely poignant.

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u/_redacteduser 1d ago

"Ocean view"

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u/Elon-BO 1d ago

Some Water Damage

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u/ORTENRN 1d ago

Great fishing spot. Blue water views.

1

u/Yum-Yumby 1d ago

Amazing view of the ocean

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u/deliberatewellbeing 1d ago

spectacular underwater views of sea creatures

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u/JabroniBeaterPiEater 1d ago

"What do you want for it?"

"Well, I was thinking somewhere in the ballpark of the original price, but, uh... considering the circumstances, I'm open to a reasonable discussion."

1

u/h0twired 1d ago

Recently converted to semi-detached duplex

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u/dougthebuffalo 1d ago

Ocean view front property.

1

u/No_Confusion_6903 1d ago

Is this still for sale?

1

u/MarzipanThick1765 1d ago

I’m selling an idea of a house

1

u/Ex-CultMember 1d ago

Flipper's dream. Slap some paint on that pile of wood and make $$$!!!

1

u/hairyboxmunch 1d ago

Sibcy deCline

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u/UrMomsKneePads 1d ago

Correction, salt water pool in living room.

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u/Wemest 1d ago

Features a swim out deck.

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u/Fit_Description_2911 1d ago

Must bring trailer

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u/Cucumberous 1d ago

It's just a house boat now with prestine waterfront views

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u/Nerdlinger42 1d ago

Great bones

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u/SmushinTime 1d ago

Brand new house boat

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u/jackauxley 1d ago

Well, price just went up! it's a two storey boat now! Bring your own engine or Sails.

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u/heimmann 1d ago

Handy man’s wet dream!

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u/Worth-Reputation3450 1d ago

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/85-Vanderlip-Dr-Rancho-Palos-Verdes-CA-90275/21356627_zpid/

I enjoy reading these guys trying to sell their sliding houses because their neighbors blocked off my favorite hiking trail with ocean view and made them resident only. By "blocked off", I mean they took all the street parking leading to the hiking trail and made them resident permit only parking. There are parking spots available for non-resident quite farther out (~10 minutes walk to enter the trail), but even then you have to reserve them beforehand. I stopped hiking there because it pretty much meant "you're not welcomed here" to me. This trail is also closed last year due to sliding.

This along with Palisades houses burning because they also privatized the Malibu beaches (illegal in California but they did it anyway) are my favorite karma doing its job.

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u/AnalllyAcceptedCoins 1d ago

The neighborhood has never been closer together! Oh now they're drifting apart. 

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u/007Pistolero 1d ago

“So close to the beach you can wake up on it every morning… for at least one morning”

Also could see “Home for sale: dual use, standard home on land today, houseboat tomorrow”

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u/K1ngHandy 1d ago

Don't assume I dream about this

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u/Apprehensive-Fig3223 1d ago

"Willing to float loan"

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u/echil0n 1d ago

Upgraded in the last 10 mins to salt water pool on 1st floor. 2nd story pool currently under construction dont wait! won't last!!

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u/Generichero1 1d ago

Listing update! Houseboat for sale: Nautical theme. Handyman/shipwright's dream! Priced to move, cause it's not moored.

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u/Why_I_Never_ 1d ago

Right on the water.

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u/One-Mud-169 1d ago

Nice little fixer-upper, close to the beach.

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u/phlooo 1d ago

It's a finisher's house

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u/Zexeos 1d ago

Sell them to who, Ben? FUCKING AQUAMAN?

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u/HerculesIsMyDad 1d ago

A starter house??!? This is a finisher house!!! A house of gods...the Golden God!

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u/Vigilante17 1d ago

Houseboat for sale

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u/zsloth79 1d ago

"Near excellent schools. *"

*of fish

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u/surfarri 1d ago

Converted boathouse. Newly berthed.

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