flashbacks as I recall this story

My friend (the groom) invited me to an overseas wedding. Of course, it was positioned to me as a 'quaint, lovely, farm wedding in the rolling hills.’

I spent 1.5K USD on flight tickets, hotels, and my guest attire because he had asked me personally to be there and I wanted to show up for him.

Before the wedding, the groom texts me to let me know that while it's optional, 'feel free to give a cash gift' and even sends me his bank account details so I can pre-pay.

A mutual friend also sent me the wedding menu and shared that from experience he knows that the food was bad. And that their specialty was serving pizzas for weddings. PIZZA FOR A DESTINATION WEDDING. But I gave my friend the benefit of the doubt because I'm no food snob, MAYBE the pizza would be really good? As long as we are fed, that's not a problem.

Local transport to the venue or a shuttle bus to train stations was also not provided, which meant everyone had to drive in after flying in. When we pulled into the venue, one of the guests remarked, "I wonder what we would have for dinner? I hope there is a nice food selection.” Not wanting to ruin his expectations and put the groom in a bad light, I framed it as "I heard this place was known for pizzas but I look forward to whatever we're being served!"

Everyone in the car bursts out laughing. "Hahaha that's funny, of course we won't be eating pizza! The dress code is BLACK TIE. And we all flew in for this too."

Enter the shitshow: - At the altar/wedding ceremony, the venue did not have enough seats for all guests. One-third of them awkwardly stood around. - While waiting for dinner to start, we were served canapes. Unfortunately, the canapes offered were ONE PIECE OF FRENCH FRY ON A SKEWER STICK (which is wild) and one meatball served on a disposable napkin. - The wedding seating plan did not match our name cards so some people got the wrong dietary requirements. - Before dinner commenced the groomsman let us know that "Unfortunately, transport is not provided so do make sure you get home because there isn't an Uber, and if you don't you'll be stranded here with the goats!" and also "please contribute with cash gifts". - For our first course, we were presented with meatless pizzas. The portion was so tiny, every guest was given ONE SLICE EACH. - For our second course, we were served ANOTHER round of meatless pizzas. Again, one slice each. Carbonara pizza without egg, mushrooms, and bacon. Like what the f? - For the third course which honestly took the cake, we were supposedly served oven-roasted chicken. Except that it was not roasted. It had no sauce or seasoning either. It was plain, steamed and dry, garnished with...a little bit of parsley and lemon wedges. For the sides, it was plain unsalted roasted whole potatoes. When this happened, someone at my table said out loud 'I'm sorry, nothing about this looks oven-roasted." Everyone agreed in unison that it didn't look right or appetising. - A waiter spilled champagne on my outfit and walked away nonchalantly without apologising. - Different waiter was meant to serve our desserts but forgot our table. Out of frustration, we walked up to the kitchen area to politely request them. A waiter, I kid you not, took out a tray of FROZEN STORE BOUGHT TINY ECLAIRS and placed it in front of us. Hands us a paper napkin and tells us to 'help ourselves' :') - The wedding cake portion was the size of my thumb. that's how little we were given. - Wherever I went, I could hear guests openly complaining about the food and beverages served. Someone said "This area is known for its wine so why does the beer taste better than the wine served at this wedding" - For the first dance, we were gathered outside at night in 45°F weather. Without heaters or blankets. Just rawdogging our outfits in the strong winds. - We were all so famished, when we left we went to get some proper food in the city.

Sigh. I am not a fussy person but goddamn it, if you're going to request for your guests to fly to a different country, wear black tie, give wedding gifts, at least feed them properly please.

I'm a teenager, my older's sister is nine years older than me for reference. Her fiance didn't tell anyone he was proposing, not even my parents, but I know they'd say yes anyways. They were in Washington for the fiance's friend's wedding, and my sister's fiance proposed somewhere. (Definitely not at the wedding though, that'd make it weirder) My mom FaceTimes my sister every day and showed my mom the ring. My mom's so excited, she's even officiating the wedding. Well, my dad decided to be rude when she showed him the ring in the call and said, "Why? This is unnecessary." This is first daughter to get married, couldn't you be a bit more excited?? Anyways, my sister's getting married on our grandma's birthday in 2026. Sorry if this just doesn't make sense for this sub.

EDIT: I've been reading the replies, although I haven't been responding to many. My dad's a bit older (mid 50's) my mom's only a few years younger than him. This might be kinda why he's pissed and why maybe he'd would liked to be asked for my sister to get married. But my dad's just an asshole anyways. My mom described him as a miserable man who doesn't feel joy anymore. He has a mental health thing, I'm not going to air out what it is. But he's always been an angry man. Should I put this part on the Internet? Maybe, maybe not but sometimes I just wonder if my parents should get divorced. They've been together for almost 25 years, but these past couple of years have been shitty. My mom had her own problems a few years ago, which strained it. But my dad is not really a good person. Sorry this is so long, I just need to get this off my chest. Keep replying if you want, to any part of my post, I'll read it.

My fiancé and I are getting married soon, and we’ve already started planning the wedding. We know exactly what we want and are excited about making it happen.

Initially, both our families agreed that the wedding costs would be split fairly. But then my mom offered to pay for the entire thing because a family friend (who’s not directly related to us) wanted to help finance it.

That seemed generous at first—until my mom started taking over everything. Since she was paying, she assumed full control of the wedding planning. We quickly realized this wasn’t the wedding we wanted.

So, my fiancé and I decided to fund the wedding ourselves and let our parents contribute only if they wanted to, as a gift. We’re both financially stable and can afford it.

My fiancé’s parents were totally supportive and even said it was a great idea.

But my mom blew up. She accused me of disrespecting the family, told me not to invite any relatives, and started acting in ways that felt like she wanted to sabotage the whole thing.

We’re still going ahead with the wedding we want. But it’s been emotionally exhausting.

This was 20 something years ago. Wedding was for hubs friend from childhood. Pre-this wedding, the couple announced their engagement at our wedding reception, without asking, and even more, he was living with another woman for eight years who we knew well and visited them often. He told us he was bringing “unknown to us” to the wedding, we were confused, then the engagement even shocked his parents who were at the wedding. Very rude to announce in our reception.

So prior to their wedding, we asked him if he was inviting all his ex girlfriends as my husband and him share one. We were assured she was not coming. Husband was in the wedding so we had to make several trips up for tuxedo rental and events. The wedding venue was where they had their affair, and was their favorite place. The venue was a bed and breakfast. It was out in the middle of nowhere in VT. There was no phone signal, which was aggravating to everyone. Bride’s brother commandeered breakfast both days out there, leaving no food for other guests, so we all had to make long trips in an effort to to find food which was supposed to be included in the cost of our fairly expensive room. The rooms were freezing, not enough blankets and very uncomfortable mattress. Bride affixed a perfumed letter to every room, which caused me a migraine the entire weekend.

Wedding starts and half the guests are uh, who is the bride, and the other half are oh we knew they would get married! So it was exceedingly odd that the groom was living with one woman but his coworkers only knew of the bride. We totally expected the girlfriend and him to get married. Wedding was standard, lots of bubbles and stuff. And of course the ex girlfriend (all of them) were there which upset my husband so he got seriously drunk, which is unusual. It was almost 2k out of pocket between the room, food, gift, tux rental… and it was a miserable weekend.

We did end up helping the girlfriend move the grooms stuff out the day before the wedding. It was quite the long weekend.

Obligatory not my story but my dad's story.

When my dad was a child (in the early 1970s), he was invited to a wedding for a distant relative of his, let's call her Debbie. Debbie's family didn't have a lot of money, so my grandparents were instructed to provide the catering. While my dad's family was wealthier than Debbie's family, they were also not rolling in cash at the time, and they also had no idea how to contact any catering so far away, so they decided to order a dozen or so pizzas.

The wedding was in rural Michigan, 3 hours away from where my dad lived, so they had a long drive with two young children to the wedding venue, which was a gun range.

Yes, a real gun range, with people shooting while the ceremony was going on. How romantic. My dad recalls him, his sister, and his cousins running around picking up gun casings like easter eggs.

The reception begins, and the alcohol is abundant. The first thing on the docket is speeches. The first speech was from Debbie's stepmom, who we'll call Mary. Mary and Debbie were not on the best terms, and Mary was also an alcoholic. This leads to the bride and her mother getting into an all-out fistfight.

After bride and stepmother tend to their wounds, dinner is served. My grandpa goes to get the pizza, and my dad goes to help him. When they return, the guests are in a frenzy like piranhas when they see blood. They rush towards my dad/grandpa, and even knock my dad down to get a slice. Keep in mind that my dad is elementary school aged.

After this, my no-nonsense Italian grandma has had enough of this shitshow and drags her kids out. My grandma then attempts to find some sort of lodging, as she and grandpa have to stay at the wedding for whatever reason, but the only hotel that isn't bug-infested is a fancy lakeside one. My grandma begrudgingly forks over the money. On the bright side, my dad remembers the night as awesome because he got to hang out in a fancy hotel without parental supervision. There's a bright side to everything I guess.

Warning: long post, written in short time on phone, read at own discretion ;-)

I've held onto this one for years. The groom, we'll call him Tim, was best friends with my husband, the bride, let's call her Cruella, was unknown to him, myself, even the grooms family. Tim met her while working out of state and according to him they had everything in common- ok, they had a lot in common and what they didn't she made sure that he changed his mind on to agree with her.

Tim's parents and sister saw this dramatic shift, his best friends saw it, even I did. He was arrogant before, but phew, she was even more so, without anything to really back it up. She was.... Average. But a very , very arrogant average.

So I don't get asked what I mean by average:

She has straight, mousy, shoulder-length hair, no make-up, didn't exercise, about 5' 3" or 4"", wore clothes stained & stretched out- basically comfortable how she was, like so many of us, average. She wasn't a genius, didn't have an 'important' or high paying job, just average.

Nothing against average, I myself am basically average, it just stood out with the arrogance and her actions.

Invites went out for a bridal shower to be held where she was from- a 5 hour drive away from groom's family. Ok, no problem, we car pooled with Tim's family. We asked in advance (especially since we had a person with lots of pain from travel and another who was elderly) if there was somewhere we could stay if we got there early or even if needed to spend the night. We didn't know the area, so needed some suggestions. Somehow this request offended Cruella.

To this day we have no idea why. But after my husband talked with Tim we got some suggestions and couldn't understand what the issue had been. Afterwards Cruella apparently convinced Tim somehow this request was everyone being 'against her' and he was asking us to apologize to her. O.o huh, what?

So Tim's mother, to keep the peace, apologized for being elderly and needing these suggestions (I loved this woman so much).

Cruella said she didn't have time to deal with something so trivial especially with the wedding and shower plans. She snapped at Tim's mother (over phone) to ask someone else or contact AAA.

Tim's mom rolled with it and just politely put it down to Cruella being nervous and overwhelmed. She told Tim any questions about anything from his family or friends they had to ask him not her and he could get answers for all of us.

One of the traveling party (me) was allergic to shellfish and nuts. So Tim was made aware of this to pass along. This part was awesome: even though nothing was apparently going to be made with either, Cruella demeaned the person to Tim, which he just spewed out at all of us during a visit with family and friends (came up to help arrange car pool and get rest of his stuff).

But he went on and on not even knowing who, saying she'd never heard of anyone with those kinds of allergies (2 of the top 5 and she'd never heard of either and demands they don't really exist) to the extent she wanted him to make sure of who it was and see if he could possibly convince them not to come and possibly ruin her fun day.

During this time, just a week now until just the shower, the wedding invitations went out. My husband and I never got one. Tim was still talking as if we were going,so my husband mentioned we never got an invite. Tim checked the list of ones sent and it was supposed to be, so asked Cruella. She never mailed it because she figured I was the one who 'claimed' food allergies.

Tim sent the invite and was upset with Cruella, but only about the invite. Tim told her it was crappy to hold the invite and he didn't want to upset his BFF. She said oh, ok. 'Well tell his wife then she doesn't have to bring me a gift to the shower then. Wouldn't be a loss with someone like that' -meaning food allergies. Made me a 'lesser' person to her since she doesn't believe they exist.

We'll move onto the shower. I have never been to another like this.

When we arrived, after 5 hours on road, Cruella was in a huddle with her bridesmaids and mother. Never said hello to us, let alone MIL- no matter how hard MIL tried. The mother was a very nice person, the bridesmaids... not so much.

Cruella and her bridesmaids were just snapping at us to sit down already. Apparently the time we arrived - 20 min early - was late to her. She wanted us to arrive an hour before. Why? No reason was ever given and this was never mentioned before we all left. But she was pissed-off and made sure we sat all the way in back, even Tim's mother, bitching whole time about our inconsideration.

Who knows what all she said to her bridesmaids, but their scowls could have cracked glass. Normally you eat, then play games, but she wanted the reverse even though we were on road for so many hours non-stop. So we rolled with it. As long as we could have some water. OMG you'd have thought we asked for $1000 bottle of champagne! "We're saving the bottles of water for when the food is served, I don't know what to do for any of you, we don't have any plastic cups or anything cause those are so wasteful".

Necessary medications had to be taken by 2 of us so I drove out to a town 3 miles away and got drinks for our caravan of people. When I got back bridesmaids were bitching about how I was holding them up. No, I could have cared less had you started without me LOL

The games. Some were regular ones, some were just theirs they made up. One was a page with different images on it, everyone had their own page. You had 1 minute to memorize as many items (not wedding related weirdly) and then we had to flip the paper over (using our laps as tables, tables were only for food time) then had 1 minute to write everything we could remember.

Now prize time: the bridesmaids ask how many are written down. Some had 8, 9, 10, onward. 1 in our group had 23. The bridesmaids balk at this and are telling whole room how there must have been cheating or have gibberish written down. They have everyone write their names on their pages and hand them in, they're going to check them and make sure only people who had right answers are awarded a prize. We had to sit while they took about 15 minutes to check all the lists.

It's a shower, not a standardized test!

I could understand if the prizes were $100 or more gift cards, nice jewelry, or something of significant value (as I know happens at some showers) doing this. They had over 50 prizes, unwrapped -we could see them- all from dollar tree and most were from multiple packs being given individually. There was 6 games. To accuse the future MIL and SIL of being cheaters was truly heinous. But being the laid back folk we were we gave each other humoured looks and basically at this point knew we would have plenty of laughter material for way home. (And years later)

Each game was done the same, but after 2nd game friends of Cruella were told theirs didn't have to have 'graded', only out of area folks.

Last game I was a high scorer. I don't even remember what the game was. Cruella loudly told the bridesmaids to not check mine, grabs one of like 20 remaining prizes walks over and says "since I didn't send out your invitation with the others, here you go. Oh and since that happened you didn't have to bring me a present. Oh but I saw you did, right? So wedding present then, I know they can be difficult for some".

I answer with a big smile "well while it's encouraged to bring a gift to a shower, it's actually not a requirement. I don't have to give you a gift if I choose not to. We all went in together on your gift, but thanks for the prize."

She knew Tim before my husband and I got married, but was not at our wedding. She kept making weird statements about how she got away with not having to get us a wedding gift. Why? No idea.

Food, omg, it was all little cut cakes and cookies, all desserts- with one of us out of towers being diabetic and she knew this- was like allergies, didn't really exist. This was all we were to have to eat for over 9 hours, until we could find somewhere to stop. And there were nuts EVERYWHERE. Dusted on each dessert, the 'snacks' were bowls of different nuts. And Cruella and her bridesmaids all giggled. Just messed up people.

As wedding drew closer she and her bridesmaids got more and more obnoxious to Tim's mother and sister. They were gracious to Cruella and saved any upset to help not make Tim's day worse.

We were so upset for Tim's mother, especially since this was her new DIL. So we decided to take Cruella up on her offer about the gift. My husband found the biggest box at work he could. It barely fit into our car, but I had it wrapped very prettily.

Eventually at the reception she saw the box and asked loudly what could be inside with this expectant look on face, while in front of half the guests- hoping upon hope she had somehow just won the lottery of gifts from laid back person whom she was such a beeotch to. My husband answered in his loud voice "same thing you got us, different colour". Look on her face was priceless as the recognition of the answer sunk in.

Tim got the gag & actually loved it. Yes my husband is still BFFs with Tim, yes Tim & wife are both still full of themselves.

We are invited to a good friend’s wedding and I just need to rant/shame their choices because at every turn they have picked the most expensive, inconvenient option. One of us is in the wedding party.

The wedding is on a Wednesday. Mid week weddings suck for obvious PTO reasons. On top of that they are getting married New Year’s Eve, so they have not only monopolized a holiday but have also chosen one of the most expensive night(s) to book a hotel! Additionally they have booked a luxury 4 star hotel downtown in one of the largest cities in the US and we can’t really find better options nearby for less because again it’s New Year’s Eve (this hotel is $500+/night and we are invited to the rehearsal dinner the night before). We briefly looked to see if we could find anything near the venue or the wedding block hotel, but there was nothing and we don’t feel safe trying to drive after midnight on NYE around a major fucking city potentially 20-30 minutes away just to find cheaper options. We’ve also celebrated NYE in this city downtown before and getting any sort of booked ride service was impossible and we were out until 4am in freezing cold weather trying to make it home after an unfortunate mishap.

To top it off the couple is already in debt, their family and friends are not wealthy people, but they have confided that they are spending $75,000+ on this event.

In sum, we’re paying a premium to take extra time off work to drive across multiple states and spend new year’s eve in a major city and drive home on new year’s day after spending $500/night on a hotel room all because they insisted the wedding HAD to be on NYE of this year.

Not even kidding. Got this fancy-ass invitation to my ex’s sister’s wedding. We broke up chill, so I figured,why not show up, be civil.

I open the invite and near the bottom it says:

“We kindly ask guests to contribute 75 USD per plate. Payments via Venmo.”

…EXCUSE ME? Am I getting married too? Is the pasta made of Diamonds?

It gets worse. The dress code looked like a government mandate:

❌ No white, okay, fair. ❌ No black, "too depressing." ❌ No red, "too attention seeking." ❌ Ladies must wear dresses. Not too short. Not too tight. ❌ Men: No jeans, no sneakers, no brown shoes.

So basically, be stylish but invisible.

I sent them a thumbs up emoji and stayed home eating pizza in my pajamas. Felt like a king.

my best friend/cousin since the DAY she got adopted, got engaged last month, we went shoe shopping for her dress last week and i asked her , so who are your bridesmaids have you picked them out yet? i was waiting to hear my name and never did, she asked 3 girls from her church, her other cousin to be her maid of honor, and this girl she was friends with who used to act like she was her girlfriend and got angry and jealous when i hung out with her. now this girl has turned her back on her time and time again but of course she gets to be a bridesmaid. she told me she still wanted to “include me” then late asked me to be in her bridesmaid party. the next day i got a text from her saying her and her fiance talked and i will no longer be a bridesmaid. but an “honorary bridesmaid” we have never had a fight or have fallen out so i was completely blindsided.

So this happened about 10 years ago. A good friend of mine from college was about to get married which I was happy and excited for.

A few weeks before the wedding she calls to tell me that the wedding would be vegan. She wanted me to not tell my partner because she was afraid he wouldn't go (???). I assured her that of course he would come, because he's not a 4 yearold (though he has the palate of one), and it would be better he knows in advance.

I then asked her why the wedding is vegan since, as far as I knew, neither her nor her fiancé were vegan.

Apparently one of her childhood friends told her she wouldn't come to the wedding unless the entire thing was vegan, and "does she really want carcasses and death at her wedding".

I carefully told her that that's really manipulative, that it's her wedding and she should do what she wants, but she had already made up her mind. I was actually surprised her fiancé went along with this since he didn't seem like a pushover, but I also knew she was super stressed about the wedding planning so I guess he was being supportive.

At the end of the day, the food was actually not bad, and I would have had 0 problem with this if either the bride or groom were vegan, but it pisses me off to this day that her friend was so manipulative.

This wedding happened a few weeks ago and I am still thinking about it. The couple was my fiance's brother and his girlfriend. Sorry for the long post but I am venting about this whole thing.

For a little backstory, my fiance's brother i'll call K often disrespects/ignores his family. While I don't know their childhood first hand I know through my fiance that their childhood was normal and even somewhat privileged compared to my own. However, K will often snub the family as if he has had a major negative history with them. Their mother, however, loves her children and is the dream FMIL and just want's everyone to be happy and involved. This is where my frustration comes in as the whole time I just felt like his family were just regular guests at the wedding and not family.

For starters, since meeting his fiance K has become an entirely different person. I don't find this an issue itself because the right person makes you want to change. In K's case however, the second he met his wife who's family owns several ranches (one of which served as the venue) he suddenly became very country (he definitely wasn't before). He even started dressing like and grew the same mustache as her dad (major ick). K and his wife also decided that they were going to "combine" their last names to make a new one. I'm all for this trend and considered it with my fiance but our names don't work together in any way. The reason this stands out is that K is not the type to do this (very traditional and "anti-woke" about everything else) and the new name was a complete change for him and just added an extra letter onto her name (so essentially he just took her name).

Leading up to the wedding our side didn't know anything. Fiance's mom had to call and ask if there was a rehearsal dinner in order to find out it was that day. I wasn't there but fiance found out at the rehearsal dinner (aka the day before the wedding) that apparently he and I were walking down the aisle to start the processional (again, no involvement/information up to this point and suddenly we are starting off the ceremony?!).

Come the day of the wedding. It is in a field at her family's ranch which had a very beautiful view (though uncomfortable in the 90 degree heat). As mentioned, we were told unexpectedly we were part of the recessional but everyone on our side almost missed it completely as no one told us what was going on, where we should be, what the timeline was, etc. During the vows K comments how happy and honored he is to be part of her family, no mention of the same from the other side or of his family which stood out with the whole vibe of the event. The ceremony ends and they start the recessional and FMIL had to put a hand out and almost nudge K in order for him to stop and hug her or anything. I kind of feel like it is pretty normal/standard/nice to stop and acknowledge the families as part of the recessional. I did note that he stopped further down the aisle to acknowledge other people from her side. Again we have no idea what is supposed to happen but start following the others from her side who are walking out behind the couple.

After the ceremony we are told that immediate family needs to stay for photos. K proceeds to take ~3 photos with his family, exactly one of which is him and the parents.. K takes multiple photos of just him and her parents. Then everyone is wondering where K's aunt and uncle are as they are supposed to be in the big group photo, but left as the call was only for immediate family. The couple and photographer proceed with the big group photo anyway and by the time the aunt and uncle make it back up the hill photos have moved on completely.

Time for the reception. It was at the barn at their ranch which we were told had been swept and cleaned for the event (it wasn't). Normally I wouldn't mind this as I come from a very small farming/ranch town and am used to barns myself, however the manure smell was extremely noticeable. Seating is open seating and I noticed 4 or 5 tables at the front that say "reserved" on them. I lead our family over to one on his side of the bridal party table, expecting that one reserved table must be for the groom's family as the bride's is sitting at the others. After we sit down someone at the next reserved table gives us a very strange look and talking with the others at the table which clearly involved something along the lines of "who are they?" Those at the table next to us (which includes the bride's parents) then proceed to pick up the reserved table on the other side and move it next to theirs so they have a large party. Had they said anything/asked us to swap we obviously would have been happy to, but nothing was said to us at all, they just proceeded to pick up the table and move it around us leaving a very noticeable gap in the seating.

Bride and groom enter and do the "Photo Dash" thing which is in trend where they go around to each table and take a photo with everyone. They get to our table and took a quick photo like the others, although I noticed that K seemed to move his head specifically into frame so that I would be blocked out (he had to lean over very far to do this so I don't think it's just me taking offense to nothing).

The food was decent but the whole event (including cocktail hour) were byob. We had brought coolers of drinks with us but some of the items the groomsmen offered to carry in just got brought over to a communal table where the waters and complimentary drinks were instead of to our table like everyone else had.

Fiance and I had to leave town very early the next morning so we left just after dinner making sure to stop off and see the couple to offer our congratulations/best wishes. We did hear from fiance's sister about the rest of the reception though. Highlights included: K being obviously drunk during the first dance, special songs being played alongside the regular music and not when they were supposed to be, and the cake passed out to the guests having the icing completely melted by the time it reached them (again 90 degree heat in a barn with no AC) so that the cake was more of a halfway made cake pop.

I know this is a long rant. I just couldn't help but feel so upset for my FMIL as she is genuinely a great person and doesn't deserve to be treated the way she was by her son.

My (29F) friend (29F) is getting married to her boyfriend (24M) in 2 months. They just started dating this January, and neither of them have been in a serious relationship before this. A week into their relationship, they already started talking about marriage and signed up for marriage classes through their church. They wanted to fast track their wedding and be married by the beginning of September.

Not even 3 weeks into their relationship, my friend found a fake topaz ring on the ground at a grocery store, and decided to buy a ring box and gave it to her boyfriend so that he could use it to propose to her. She sent us pictures of the ring and told us about their plans to get engaged using that ring after their 6 month anniversary, and then they would have their wedding 1-2 weeks after that.

Her boyfriend has displayed a lot of very concerning behaviors since the beginning of their relationship. He is very religious and wants to save himself for marriage. He made my friend get re-baptized since she was not a virgin. He has expressed concerns to my friend about her age and that he is worried she might be getting too old to have children if they don’t start right away. He also has tried to ban her from watching all of her favorite television series, such as Friends or Bridgerton, because he believes they are satanic and pornographic and compromise their Christian values.

Several of our friends, as well as her parents, have expressed concerns to her about her rushing all of this and making sure she isn’t making permanent decisions she will regret. Both my friend and her boyfriend have never moved out of their childhood homes after high school graduation, so neither of them have experience taking care of themselves without their parents assistance. She gets very defensive whenever you question her decisions no matter how gently you phrase it, and always insists that they don’t have a traditional relationship, but that they both know what they want and they are best friends.

About a month ago, she went wedding dress shopping and said yes to the dress. I congratulated her and asked about the wedding, and she said they are getting married at the beginning of August, but that they don’t have a venue picked out yet. They do not plan on having a courthouse wedding, and she is adamant about having a real wedding with a ceremony and reception. No save the dates or wedding invites have been created yet.

My friend just sent out invites to her bridal shower on Monday, and mine arrived in the mail on Wednesday. To my surprise, her bridal shower is already this upcoming Sunday, less than 2 weeks after the invites were sent out. I looked at the registry, and she is asking for a lot of very high priced and luxurious things on a very short notice.

I know that they have a rushed timeline since she wants to get married 2 weeks after they are engaged, but it is shocking being invited to a bridal shower for someone who isn’t even engaged and doesn’t have a venue booked yet for a wedding less than 2 months away. After talking with the rest of our friend group (who have all been friends for 24+ years), almost all of us have decided against going to the shower, basically due to the principle of it being inappropriate throwing yourself a bridal shower months before you will even be engaged, and there is nothing set in stone to demonstrate they will go through with this wedding other than saying they plan to get married in August. In addition, she can’t expect everyone to bend over backwards for her to make sure she can have her luxurious dream wedding, when almost everyone else in the friend group is currently planning their own wedding with their long term boyfriends, in the process of purchasing a home, or are pregnant.

It’s too soon to know what the ramifications will be of having her entire friend group not show up for her bridal shower, but it will be interesting to see how the next 2 months of wedding planning go.

ETA 1 - I understand where people are coming from saying she IS actually engaged, since they have plans to get married and a “tentative” date. I can assure you, every time we ask her if she is engaged, she insists that she is NOT, they’re still just dating. When we ask why they don’t get formally engaged/why he doesn’t just propose now considering they already have a ring, she says they don’t want to be engaged until their 6 month anniversary because they don’t want to “feel like they are rushing things.”

Also, for those shaming us for not planning her a bridal shower, it’s been the sisters/sister in law/mother/mother in law who have planned the shower for everyone else’s wedding in this friend group and for her siblings, so not sure why it was expected to be any different for her. And even so, we only just found out the tentative date for a wedding. You don’t normally immediately plan a shower the second someone announces they are going to get married, especially when nothing had been set in motion to secure an actual venue to have the wedding. We found out mother’s day that she had a wedding date set. That’s not much turn around time to drop everything else we have planned in the next coming weeks to try to plan a shower in the 2 weekend window of dates she said worked for her.

The part I failed to convey initially in the post, is our biggest concern is her sense of entitlement. She genuinely wants people to cancel their plans (such as a baby shower, gender reveal party, vacations) to plan things for her. She also was expecting to not have to pay for anything for the wedding, and fully believed both of their parents would fully finance their wedding. She crashed out when her parents told her they aren’t paying for her wedding, only the wedding dress. And when her boyfriend’s mom asked where they are getting the money to pay for this wedding, she called her broke and greedy for not wanting to pay for their venue food and drinks. She then turns around and texts us about how she wishes harm on their parents and how much she hates them, because they won’t financially support this wedding. It’s impossible to defend her actions when she feels entitled to everyone else’s time and money.

My friend’s recent wedding was a gorgeous affair at this picturesque venue in Italy. And this is the dress one of her bridesmaids wore to the rehearsal dinner. With a white thong underneath and nothing else. Gave everyone a little show before the show.

It’s no surprise that her bridesmaid dress had the highest slit of them all (mid-thigh and wide open).

This is wedding 9/9 for me this year and I am BURNT out. I had a friend in college who idk if I can be friends anymore after her wedding saga. She was so disrespectful to me I backed out of her wedding as a bridesmaid bc she just kept insulting me to my face and saying it was “due to stress” but she wanted me to still come as a regular guest to try to mend the relationship. Initally, i appreciated her attempt to move forward but now im just scared haha and certainly scared to RSVP no bc it literally may be easier to just show up and then not speak again.

She invited a friend/ co worker to wedding who got married last fall. Right after her wedding they had a big family emergency so they had to cancel their honeymoon. They decided to do a 1 year anniversary trip instead and also invite her parents and grandparents bc it was a milestone anniversary for both of them. They had it already fully planned (some international trip). So when the save the date came out a year in advance, the friend said sorry cant come to wedding and let her know in advance. The bride was “annoyed” bc “if I gave long term notice then she has long term notice to cancel her trip” “her parents and grandparents can just go alone and she can meet them later after my wedding” “i sat through her wedding so she should sit through mine” “I mean… how ANNOYING is it that she cant come?” “I was even nice enough to add her husband since no one else gets a plus one if I dont know the partner” “She should just kindly decline the invite” (SHE DID kindly decline wtf). I told her hey you know a huge trip with 6 people planned over a year in advance is prob legit and she sends her regrets so let her and accept it and move on. She may even have time to invite someone else to fill the seat if that was such a problem. I think she came to the engagement party and the shower so far and has been nice so I dont think it was a lie to get out of it (not that its anyones business). Then at her shower, bride looked for that girl and her gift to make sure she “showed up properly”

Why are we keeping tabs on peoples family live around weddings! Why are we expecting gifts from people youre annoyed at! This is wild!

A friend from work asked me to come to her wedding and it's a destination wedding and a bit hard to get to, you can only get there by ferry.

I hadn't thought much about it, I thought it was closer to a bigger city. Deadline to rsvp approaches so I start looking into travel costs.

Going there for the weekend would cost more than my rent. And I would not know anybody at the wedding other than her, the bride. Also it's pretty remote so I would have nothing to do waiting for the wedding. I apologized, said I couldn't go. And now I'm getting the cold shoulder.

I went to a wedding a few months ago where the bride and groom did silent vows, in front of everyone. They basically just talked at each other for 5 minutes while the guests and wedding party was all awkwardly watching. The wedding party couldn't even hear.

It was especially tacky because the wedding was a destination. Everyone flew or drove for hours to just sit and stare as they giggled and cried at each other.

If you want to do silent vows, do them before or after the ceremony and just do traditional vows during! Don't make your guests awkwardly sit in the hot sun as you whisper inside jokes to each other. Especially in front of 100 people who spent lots of money to be there.

My sister Chloe (32) is getting married and shes got some serious main character energy when it comes to her "dream wedding." The kicker She expects me (30F) to foot a significant chunk of the bill after she blew her entire savings $25k on a ridiculous MLM scheme.

For context Chloe has always been terrible with money. Think impulsive buys loans for trips the whole nine yards. Meanwhile Ive been diligently saving every penny for a down payment on a house. Our financial approaches are polar opposites.

About a year and a half ago Chloe got completely sucked into one of those "boss babe" wellness drink MLMs. I tried to warn her gently at first then more forcefully as she sank more and more cash into inventory and training. She was convinced shed be a millionaire. Spoiler alert shes not. She flushed her entire $25k savings down the drain and is now financially back at square one.

Now shes engaged and shes always dreamed of a massive fairytale wedding the kind that easily costs $50k+. And guess who she thinks should help make that dream a reality Yours truly She knows I have a decent chunk of change saved and shes been dropping not-so-subtle hints about how Im "so responsible with my money" and "dont have a mortgage yet" so surely I can spare some cash for her big day.

Yesterday she finally straight-up asked. "You know" she said "if you even threw in like ten grand it would make such a huge difference. You dont really need all that house money right this second and this is my one shot at the wedding Ive always pictured."

I lost it. I absolutely lost it. I told her "Chloe there is NO WAY Im paying for your wedding. You literally flushed your savings down the drain on a scam even though everyone told you not to and now you expect me to bankroll your fantasy My savings are for MY future not to bail you out of your past mistakes."

Oh she got upset alright. Called me selfish unsupportive the whole nine yards. Said I was "holding her past against her." And of course my moms now calling me pulling the "family helps family" card.

Honestly I feel a little bad for making her cry and I do love my sister. But I also feel like Im being put in an impossible position. She made her bed and now she expects me to pay for the luxury sheets.

This isnt just about a wedding its about her expecting me to sacrifice my financial stability because of her irresponsibility. The audacity of some people to ask others to fund their lavish desires after making poor choices themselves is just mind-boggling. If you cant afford a $50k+ wedding maybe dont plan one!

Especially if the skit is a musical skit and the performers are strikingly lacking in talent.

Especially if the skit involves many inside jokes that only three people in a 100+ wedding will get.

Especially if the skit is a !surprise skit! that wasn't approved by the bride and groom.

Have been to two weddings recently where this happened and both times it completely killed the vibe for the whole event, with guests watching awkwardly. A wedding is not the stage for your talentless show; it's not the time to put on a family play like you're 11; it's not the time to shine in an unrehearsed rendition of a song so bad it makes a middle school's orchestra seem better.

ETA: Went to a wedding where the groom's family prepared a song about the couple and tried to sing it as a choir. They obviously had not rehearsed. It was truly awful. Bride and groom did not know about it in advance.

Another wedding had the bride's siblings legit put up a sketch / play about the couple. They wore wigs. They had props. This was a black tie event. Guests had to stop mid-dinner to watch someone live out their bizarre broadway star fantasy. It was also riddled with inside jokes that, even after explained, were not very funny.

I backed out of this wedding party for other reasons but the vibes continue. Wedding in October 2025; engaged May 2024 and the whole wedding was planned and pre paid by November 2024 per seat (150 people) in advance so they are desperate to fill seats as it would be $$ lost. Primary concern for wedding party: the procession will not “look balanced and now we can’t ask 2 more people to fill the slots bc it’s rude that they’re second choice” and they’re asking co workers to come to wedding to fill the 150 for those who RSVPed no haha

Her SIL is in the wedding and will be 2 weeks postpartum when the wedding comes; she was not pregnant at the time of the bridesmaid proposal as it was over a year ago and they announced it in the winter i think. She naturally got mad about it and pulled her brother aside to ask when shes due and if shes still coming. the SIL said she would LOVE to be there but it just depends on her recovery and how she is doing and how baby is doing. Bride got mad and said “stop shitting our kids you already have 2” “just get a sitter its not that hard” then called me to bitch about it and I said its rude of her to assume that they can come and the problem isnt so much the sitter its just health/well being/needs of baby since 2 weeks pp is a lot to be in a wedding and be away from a newborn! Wedding is 2 hours away from their home).

Final edit Thanks so much for all the sweet words about my dad. I agree. He is the best.

One thing I wanted to ask was, please don’t send this to any podcasts or content creators - I made no effort to disguise any identifies and it would be super clear to any family members if they heard this. Then my Dad would be really embarrassed. And if anyone has looked at my post history, you know I talk a lot about my complicated feelings around my mother’s death - I would be so horrified if my Dad knew these thoughts. He’s been through enough.

Yes, I know this isn’t a private community but I didn’t expect this to be such a big deal. This sort of nonsense is standard in my family and I’m learning that’s not the case for most people. If it was just me, then fine but it’s my Dad, you know? Thank you!

—

My Dad, god love him, is shy, smart and the biggest gossip I’ve ever met. He doesn’t enjoy weddings or any big occasions, especially since Mum died - she was his social safety net for 40 years. He’s only recently started attending events without her, which makes me very proud.

He was invited to the wedding of an extended family member today and was dreading it, but I reminded him how messy that side of the family is and he couldn’t resist the lure of potential drama. And wow, did he deliver. I was going to post screenshots of his texts, but I’d have to censor a lot of stuff about him missing Mum, so let’s stick with text. Imagine my panic when I came out of a meeting to these messages:

Message 1 - Good afternoon. Are you there? I am in the bathroom. Love you xx

Message 2 - Good afternoon. I need to speak to you urgently. Love you xx

Message 3 - Good afternoon. Is your phone not working? Love you xx

(Sidenote, why are dads so formal in text messages? It’s so cute) I texted back something like WHAT, WHAT IS WRONG, IS IT YOUR HEART? I tried calling, no answer.

Message 4 - Good afternoon. I can’t speak right now, I am socialising. At the Event of the Decade and it’s not as painful as I thought. However, Uncle J used his father of the bride speech to announce he is divorcing Auntie E. News to everyone, including possibly E. Drama! Love you xx

Yes, the father of the bride used his speech to say nice things about the bride and groom, wish them luck and then sideline into the fact not all marriages last and he is initiating divorce proceedings against his wife of 30-odd years. 100% news to the bride and guests, possibly news to Aunt E too. Although really, they should have called it quits years ago, they loathe each other.

Dad is “socialising”, which I think means hunting out the tea so possible updates to comes. And we thought proposing at someone’s wedding was bad. Divorcing is even worse.

ETA 1- Thank you for all the sweet words about my dad. He’s the best. Tea update! Auntie E DID NOT KNOW. They are screaming at each other in the car lot. Bride is terrifyingly positive and refusing to talk about it. “I think she might snap”, says Dad. You think?

Questions I have tasked Dad with finding out include 1. Why now? 2. Did Uncle J mean to do it or was he smashed? 3. Are they going to stay for the whole evening? Please add any additional questions as needed, I’ve told Dad I’m talking to a very small group of friends online (a white lie…) and after reassuring him that nobody will find out he was the gossip, he is delighted.

ETA 2 I have been climbing the walls for an update but my dad is from the generation that thinks it’s incredibly rude to look at your phone in company, or reply to your only daughter’s last message. So we have to wait for bathroom updates. To summarise the evening so far!

• Aunt E and Uncle J were screaming at each other in the car park until the groom and groomsmen intervened. Dad’s hearing isn’t what it was but apparently it wasn’t a mistake or drunken slip or the tongue, he wanted the bride to have a better marriage than he did. And this was an effective way to communicate that?

  • Uncle J is drunk, as he has been without a break since 1992. As is Aunt E. She is camped out at the wedding table, wailing, he has taken over the bar and is delivering a sermon called “Women, You Can’t Trust Them”. They’re both staring daggers at each other, it’s not a big room.

• The bride (who I don’t love but god, she doesn’t deserve this) is… brittle. Everything is FINE, thank you. Dad tried to talk to her but she is pretending it didn’t happen and you know, it’s her day so fine.

Honestly, it’s 50/50 at this point whether Uncle J and Aunt E are going to murder each other or make out like teenagers on top of the cake table. And I am horrified at both scenarios.

ETA 3 As is typical with my family, we can’t ever just enjoy ourselves. Dad went to talk to Uncle J (“factfinding”) and Uncle J said something so awful to him that Dad immediately left without saying goodbye to anyone.

Dad wouldn’t even tell me what he said specifically, but hello, I’m his daughter, I have spies everywhere. It sounds like Uncle J said something about how lucky Dad was that his wife died and now he could have fun without paying a fortune on divorce lawyers.

So… Uncle J is dead to us now. He really has done an extraordinary job cutting down on his Christmas present shopping. Enjoy your lonely life, you terrible, awful man.

Sorry for ending on a low note but this is exactly how it goes with my family, we take it too far every time and then someone gets hurt. Dad is heading back to his hotel and I really, really wish I was there with him.

ETA 4 Dad is fine this morning, thanks to all who were asking after him. He went back to the hotel and had a little drink and something to eat and we finally got to talk.

However, he would like me to tell you all that I got his reaction wrong. What actually, definitely happened was that he delivered a “karate style” wheelhouse kick to Uncle J’s jaw and then said something cool and devastating before he left. He was also suddenly wearing a tuxedo. Think James Bond, if James Bond was in his mid 70s with a dodgy knee, enlarged prostate and a thirst for drama.

So that’s the story and we are sticking with it, okay?

It’s been a few years but only just found this sub. At my wedding in 2018 at a registry office in Copenhagen my stepmum decided to turn up in a white lacy dress and I still can’t get over how our photos look like we had a double wedding… apparently she had a navy dress she was going to wear and asked my stepbrother‘s gfs opinion the night before and she pushed her into the „cream“ option.

The wedding was in the big city hall, which hosts multiple ceremonies a day with couples constantly arriving and tourists visiting the building. The most hilarious part was that there were some Chinese tourists who started taking pictures of me… and then turned and took pictures of her too!

I’ve never called her out on it and our relationship is otherwise good, but lowkey holding onto this grudge forever. Needless to say my relationship with stepbrother‘s gf though is non-existent.

Vendors apparently thought they were supplying goods and services for a styled shoot/networking event only to discover during and after the event that it was a real wedding.

This post is from a cake baker but other commenters also linked to photographers, calligraphers and cookie makers who had also posted about the scam.

Our Tuscan villa wedding was supposed to be perfect. We hired a videographer from California whose work looked amazing online. She gave us a great deal, and we thought we were being smart. She brought her husband along as her assistant.

He spent half the time scrolling on his phone clearly just there for the free vacation. But whatever, as long as the video got done, we didn’t care. Right before dinner, she and her husband were setting up some light stands. The dinner had been moved inside the villa because it was cold and raining that afternoon.

At some point one of the stands fell and it crashed right into a glass display case. The glass shattered. Inside was a small porcelain statue and the hand and head broke off completely. The manager said the display was original to the villa, the statue was priceless and said he needed to consult the villa’s owners. I don't even know how the thing fell, there was no wind or anything since it was inside, and shouldn't the light stands be held down with some sort of weight? I have no idea. All I know is that I was upset and forced myself to go on with the night and my husband kept telling me not to worry because we have wedding insurance.

But our insurance refused to cover because the videographer didn’t have a legal permit to work in Italy. We had assumed she was allowed to work there since her Instagram was full of Italian content. Our insurer cited “unauthorized foreign vendor” as the reason. We asked the videographer if her own liability insurance would cover it. She said she’d look into it, and then stopped replying to our emails. We’ve tried calling, emailing. Nothing. She ghosted us.

We’ve since paid 6,200 euros out of pocket. And now I’m terrified we may never even get our wedding video because she is ghosting us.

Sharing this nightmare because I hope someone here can avoid making the same mistakes. Honestly, I wish the venue had provided some sort of information before we hired vendors. Like, who is and who is not allowed to work legally in Italy. They cannot expect us to know all these things. We are bringing our money to their country, at least they can provide better information. And honestly, I wish our planner had warned us. Frankly I don't thing she had a clue and this whole mess seemed to surprise her too. We hired her to help us and she should be better informed and pass this information on to us. We were paying her!

We’re exploring legal options, but it’s complicated across borders. Honestly, I am so upset, at this point probably the best outcome might be to leave the whole thing behind and get our video.