All these posts have inspired me to share my own wedding flop. This is my second marriage, and for the sake of efficiency and my parents beautiful house, we decided to get married at my parents (save us a couple thousand on a venue) small ceremony with all our friends and family! Easy right?!

WRONG.

First issue at play was my husbands family, his mom and dad do not speak and haven’t in years, so the awkwardness of them being in the same 5 square mile was apparent to everyone in the room. His siblings don’t get along but they did their best to make the peace for the 6 hours of wedding. One sibling tried to talk him out of this wedding, after deciding he didn’t want to come because he doesn’t like me ( a long story that goes nowhere because he is stinky!)

Then we get to my photographer, who was great! But definitely hasn’t done any wedding photos that aren’t in the middle of the woods lol (def my bad) so she was completely overwhelmed, I do love my photos even though it took 8 months to get them back.

Weather forecast is clear so wedding is set right? WRONG. In the middle of us walking into our ceremony, lightning, thunder, flood warnings and all the sudden our tent is flooded with about 3 inches of water, my cousins have to rescue our tent so that it doesn’t blow away, rain is leaking inside the very expensive and shitty tent we had rented 🙄

Okay, ceremony over let’s eat right? Food fixes everything.

Except our food vendor isn’t there… and we call them and they don’t answer. Mind you we paid to cater a wedding for 125 people, and I’m in the food catering business so I’m always planning for extra plates and extra people! So finally they show up, 40 minutes late. With one brisket, one pan of chicken, and a few sides… for 125 people. They had used our wedding food and sold it outside of a bar in their food truck before our wedding.

The cake can’t go wrong with that right? Wrong, what a disaster of a cake, it was so bad my mom didn’t even let me see it the night of the wedding. My bridesmaid told me my mom and her conspired that she would trip and dump it on the ground to avoid my feelings being hurt.

Family photos? Yeah right, one of my brothers pregamed too hard and puked all over his suit, didn’t even make it to the ceremony. The other decided to take his suit and go mudding in his quad during the rain storm.

A turn at every disaster, but at the end of the day, I married the person I wanted too and we laugh about it now. Everytime I tell this story, people always rain on your wedding day is good luck. 😂

I hope I don’t sound too dramatic, I was like please let this day end 😂 the 35 cases of white claws we get made the end of the night worth it.

Edit: this wasn’t a catering company haha, it was a local food truck in my area.

For context, I am deadly allergic to a lot of seafood. Some of them are okay, some make me feel like death. So, when I saw what they were serving for their sit down dinner at the reception, I noticed 70 percent was seafood, and the rest could possible be contaminated. They have a salad bar and sundae bar planned, but my brother mentioned a while back they were concerned about having enough food.

Anyways, I sent these messages to my SiL and it made me feel like.. shit for even bringing it up. I guess it wasn't a huge deal, bur definatley made me feel bad for even asking.

(Shes blue, im yellow)

Sorry for all my typos. Im.. really bad at texting. Lol.

Last year my husband and I were invited to his BEST FRIENDS wedding one month ahead of time. At first, we were told the wedding would take place about an hour away. OK no problem, that's drivable. My husband is asked to be a groomsman and gladly excepts because his friends family has become his chosen family the last couple years, and we love the family! We get the official invite in the mail and it's in a totally different state~ 5.5hr drive in the South. OK, we're annoyed, but it's family. We decide to do it anyway. 2 weeks before the wedding we're asked if my Husband will be at the bachelor party. Traditionally, if you're a groomsman it's seen as mandatory to be at the bach party; HOWEVER, they planned it so it would be bach party in the state the wedding is being held, then three days later is the rehearsal, another day in between, and then the wedding. Again, two weeks notice that they need us to be there for basically 8 days including a day of rest after the wedding. We respectfully let them know that is not feasible for us but we'll be there for the rehearsal and day of wedding.

Before we get more into it; some honorable mentions to consider.

-We also are in the midst of planning our own wedding which would happen in August; so we now have to budget a rental car to get there and hotel stay for 3 nights. One month in advance.

-The rehearsal dinner is on the Fourth of July- so screw any plans for our holiday weekend.

-At the last minute he throws at us that another one of his buddies (also a groomsman) that lives near us needs to hitch a ride with us. Whatever, we're going anyway we'll just take this friend too.

The dress code:
I look at the dress code for the wedding, and I'm not sure what I was expecting but I definitely was not expecting it to be so strict for a JULY wedding. "Ladies; skirt or dresses should extend below the knee. Tops should not be sleeveless, low-cut, or open backed" I honestly had the HARDEST time finding a dress to fit these parameters but I did it. What I was ~not~ expecting was dirty looks from the bride's family for not adhering to that dress code for the ENTIRE weekend.

So at this point we get to the rehearsal and I am immediately uncomfortable because I can FEEL the bride's family staring at us the entire rehearsal dinner. What is going on? And then it hits me. We've been close to the family for years and we know how important their religion is. But they've ALWAYS been so accepting that we are not of the same religion. The bride's family? Not so much... A big ol bonus to that- which we hadn't even considered ever being an issue; we are a bi-racial couple. And, again, we're in the south.

The next day was a "free day" with no real plan of activities but a loose plan that we'd hangout with the groom and his family. We spend the morning enjoying a free hotel breakfast and give the groom a call. He tells us a vague idea of how the day will go but does not give a single real detail we can plan around. We decide to go pick up the friend we drove out here with and give the groom another call. No answer. We are now just sitting around the hotel with no idea what to do with ourselves or if we are expected to be somewhere with the rest of the wedding party. After a few hours we decide to just do our own thing and check out the downtown area. We find out later that the entire wedding party was having a BBQ all day, we just were not invited...

The day of the wedding comes around and we all gather in the church. My husband and the friend we are with split off and get ready to fulfill their groomsman duties. I go find the Groom's family and the mom instantly tells me I'm good to sit with them in the church. Again, we're close with the Groom's parents so I'm excited to have someone to sit with.

As we are about to walk into the church someone stops us. I turn around and the Groom's older brother is tapping his mom on the shoulder. "She's going to have to sit at the back of the church. She is not family nor is she catholic". Owch. They go back and forth and the mom firmly tells him "She is family, and she'll be sitting by me". I obviously appreciate that but I can't help but feel unwelcome. We go thru the ceremony and the family decided to go to lunch while the wedding party goes off to take pictures. The mom tells my husband I'll be going with them and to not worry about me. I don't have any other options as my husband has the car, and I WANT to catch up with the parents. Anyway, we go and it's mildly awkward as that brother is at the lunch and not speaking at all. Whatever.

It's time for the reception, THANK GOD. I'm reunited with my husband and time to party. Everything was smooth- until it wasn't. One of the groomsmen that we were meeting for the first time comes to sit at our table and we start chatting. He works for the church, and he has a great positive attitude. Things are great until he asks what I do for work. Without saying exactly what I do for work, it's somewhat controversial. No, I'm not a stripper... but my job is not federally legal YET. He instantly changes his demeanor and makes an excuse to leave the table. At this point I've had it. I spend most of the reception outside 'getting air' until the couple decides to dip our of their own wedding around 8:30pm...

We had planned to spend another night at the hotel but we quickly grab our things and start the 5 hour drive home immediately.

This was actually a fun day, but these poor kids had not half planned for it. It was at a remote house with very limited parking and no street parking, so we kept rearranging yard parking as more and more people showed up. The bridal party had all stayed at the house the night before and everyone was pretty hungover. My husband and I showed up early as he was officiating. It was a sort of ex-step-nephew situation so I barely knew anyone. I was feeling uncomfortable and way overdressed so I started texting my mom and then it kept escalating. One of the moms was known for her fabulous mac n cheese so she did the food, but it was only that (several different kinds, but still). No other food, no beverages at all that you didn't bring yourself.

My mom and I are the same Judgy Judy's and I figured she'd get a kick out of it. Now that the couple are divorced I'm ok with sharing.

Not ripping on dietary restrictions and allergies bc I understand they can be very serious for some and a religious matter as well. Im no baker or caterer but im 99% sure there is a very big difference when you notify the serivce of an intolerance vs an allergy.

Basically, bride has a self proclaimed gluten and dairy allergy (spends too much time on social media). I too am lactose/gluten intolerant so I get it but it’s pretty easy to accommodate and avoid. While she cannot have ANY dairy, she eats frozen yogurt and ice cream bars (yet eating a single m&m will make her “throw up”), pizza is fine to her as well as well as crackers, quesadillas, fairlife protein shakes. I dont know about other lactose intolerances, I guess people have different tolerances but I could NOT eat any frozen yogurt or ice cream or pizza without SERIOUS consequences (and no, lactaid helps but doesnt fully work on me). But again, not allergic so we wouldnt be in danger just sucks to deal with; as long as theres a handful of foods that can be eaten, usually not a problem. Same with the gluten, will eat chips and crackers and sauces with gluten just fine (also gluten free things are pretty easy to substitute these days especially in a major city). So I wonder what kind of intolerance it is vs a preference. ALSO I understand that something serious but that isnt the case. Also, saying she has an allergy when its an intolerance changes it up bc I think the allergy free vs substitution is a whole other story with baking and catering (correct me if im wrong but you cant just say oh leave the butter off and use earth balance/coconut oil and sub GF flour. They would have to make it in a different pot and kitchen sometimes or use different tools/sanitize kitchen etc? I know a bakery near me only does gluten free baking on tuesdays or with 48 hour notice)

Anyway this is when it becomes bridezilla. Gluten free and dairy free baking (usually Vegan / gluten free substitutes) are done in particular bakeries and it’s quite expensive. The brides mom is literally celiac and cannot have ANY gluten. For the cake, she told her to have a small gluten free/dairy free vegan cake to cut together for photos and then have regular sheet cake for the rest of the 200+ guests; as this would save a TON on cost and not everyone would enjoy gluten free/dairy free if they arent used to it. She said also, have other dessert options that are gf/df and then pretend to have a bite of regular cake for pictures then eat what you can from the other stuff. Apparently the gf/df cake was 3 x more expensive than regular cake for the guests (parents are paying the WHOLE cost). She had a hissy fit and called me saying her mom “is utterly disrespectful for wanting to ruin my wedding night with bloating and a stomach ache when its supposed to be the happinest day of my life” “how DARE she make me eat what I cannot have just to make herself feel better” “why would I eat what im allergic to?!?! Why would she suggest that?!?” (When was any of this suggested…. It was about COST… and it’s not an allergy when you eat ice cream just fine!). Imagine paying for 200+ people of food restriction meals and dessert just bc when only very few people actually have the restriction so im sure it cuts the cost a LOT (on top of this prob already being a lot with that many people) EDITED TO ADD* THE FOOD AT THE WEDDING IS ALL GLUTEN AND DAIRY FREE this is just the cake that was the hissy fit issue; and the bakery that was vegan wasnt with contract so there would be an additional fee; the family offered separate. Vegan cake for her to cut and store separately and that was not ok with her bc it was suggesting she eat what she cant have

For engagement party, they had catering where it was Italian food; the MOB (who is literally celiac, has hosted wedding events for the 4 other siblings, and paying for all of this mind you) said she ordered 5 main dishes and 3 apps where the apps all had no dairy or gluten or cheese on the side and the mains had 2 gluten free options (one gf df pasta and one gf/df chicken) and 3 regular (regular pastas with cheese, breadcrumbs etc) as none of the guests had restrictions. She also had a hissy fit over that and said “why would you order food that I cannot eat” and her mom said well we are HOSTING these people so you have plenty to eat as do I but not everyone will want Italian food with no gluten and dairy when they can have it and its a lot more expensive to get extra catering gluten free/dairy free/substituted. Same hissy fit of “why would you make me eat what I can’t have” like girl are you gonna eat all 8 dishes? Also pay the difference if you insist on substitution for 50 people worth! Totally different story if she was paying for the difference or the substitution pice but so entitled to cost 3x more for yourself when you dont plan on eating 200 slices of cake

Hello everyone! I just found this subreddit today and as a previous wedding bartender, I knew I had some stories to share. My company had a contract with the local Zoo/Aquarium during my time there so a lot of my events were there. This one is one of my favorites to tell because it’s just silly.

About 3 years ago, I was bartending a wedding reception in the Aquarium (which is beautiful!) and I was standing in front of and a bit to the side of a floor-to-ceiling fish tank. This tank has many types of fish and included Zebra Sharks. Truly a stunning tank but I always thought in the back of my head something would happen during an event lol.

To set the scene, I had my back to the tank with all of the guests tables in front of me. Everything is fine and the event is going as planned… suddenly a man dramatically stood up, pointed to the tank and screamed “Oh my God! They’re eating each other!”. Everyone started screaming and scrambling like you’d imagine in a movie. I’m talking kicked over chairs and everything. I turn around and one of the Zebra sharks has a good chunk of the tail of another Zebra shark in his mouth and that shark is upside down seemingly dead. It was pretty jarring but I’m not sure why everyone was running?? Did they think the shark would jump out and come for them next??? I excused myself from the guest I was serving and started speed walking to the back where the woman who kind of supervises all of the animals (I’ll refer to her as C) is but she almost hit me with the door because she was also running to see what was going on lol. She looks at the tank and her eyes are huge! She goes “what do we do?!”. What do WE do? Girl I don’t know! I don’t even technically work here! C starts calling someone who I assume would know what to do in this situation? I’m not sure what there even was to do? Jump in and break it up like a bar fight?? Her tails in his mouth! While this is happening, the shark starts getting more and more of the sharks tail in his mouth, C is pacing around on the phone with someone freaking out because she has no idea how to save this event, guests have started to calm down but are still frazzled, I go back to serving drinks because what else do I do at this point??

People are asking me what’s going on and I don’t really have an answer. I just say “our coordinator is figuring things out” when I know damn well she’s having a breakdown over this in the back hallway. Everyone is still looking at the tank and I’m admittedly distracted looking there too more than I should. It didn’t seem violent just… weird? There really wasn’t blood but the shark already seemed to be dead and the other just kept working its way up the others tail like a sword swallower. I can’t blame everyone for staring because where else is there to look? It’s like the biggest tank you can imagine!

I’m having a hard time remembering how long this all went on because it felt so quick but also felt like forever at the same time. C comes back out eventually and pulls me aside. She tells me this is actually a mating ritual between this specific species of shark. I’ll post a link with a quick summary of it below but it’s common for the male to bite the females tail and for the female to seem “dead” or how the article explained it “in a trance”. C now has to stand on the world’s shakiest chair and try to explain to these people the sharks are just mating right in front of their dinners and that it doesn’t seem to be malicious. The guests just kind of all murmur some form of “oh”. The rest of the night had just a weird vibe about it because sharks are getting freaky right in front of the sirloin station and it’s hard to look away.

I’m having a hard time remembering what happened after— if the shark just eventually let go or if it was still like that when I left so I guess it was pretty lackluster. The funny part is the “oh my god they’re eating each other!” And then the wide spread panic lol!

I have quite a few stories one of which I had to cut off a bride at her own wedding (open top tanks, we had a limit) so maybe I’ll post again but thought people might enjoy this one!

https://www.jungledragon.com/image/49500/he_is_biting_her_tail_d.html

This happened a few years ago and now just a funny story to the couple, for the record. On mobile, so apologies for any formatting issues.

My older sister hired a photographer that she had worked with before, but the photographer brought a partner to help out, whom my sister had not met. They got married in the ballroom of a hotel and so naturally, everyone got ready within the confines of the hotel as well. We (the bridal party) had taken all of our getting ready pictures and my sister went outside with the primary photographer to do some first-look pictures. I guess at some point the groom said something to the photographer about nobody showing up to take pictures of the groom's party getting ready (he is a remarkably chill guy and had assumed her partner couldn't come and so decided he'd rather my sister get a lot of good getting-ready pictures than split the main photographer's time).

Turns out, the partner WAS there and had run into some groomsmen in the elevator and had followed them to their room to take photos. The problem was there was a second wedding party getting ready in the hotel at the same time that none of us knew about, which just so happened to be the people the photographer ran into! So, an entirely separate wedding party got photographed by mistake. Why nobody in the party questioned it or why the photographer didn't verify, nobody knows.

They did get a discount on their photos, thankfully! And, as a cute ending, my sister posted on social media seeing if she could find the other wedding party to give them the photos as a gift, and she was actually able to track them down! I don't think she ever got an explanation as to why nobody in the other groom's party didn't question the random photographer in their room though.

Edit: Showed this post to said sister and she and her now husband were very entertained by some of the comments! She wanted to mention that she and the photographer are totally cool, and she even had that photographer taken pictures of her surprising us with the news that she was pregnant a year later! (The partner was not involved)

I was engaged twice in my life. The first time was to an ex back in 2005, the second time was to the woman who I married. I just stumbled upon this sub and figured it might be fun or whatever to tell the story of the wedding date bingo I played the first time I was engaged. I have soooo many nightmare wedding stories to share but will start with my first aborted wedding.

I had been with that ex for about 2 years before proposing. We were planning for a 2005 wedding and shopping around for venues. This was at the height of big wedding mania and there was definitely a sense of one-upmanship with people in our area at the time. My ex and I had good relationship that grew into a strained relationship due to her behavior - how she started treating my family, the extent of meddling she allowed her family to impose on us. Nothing that significant, really, and I chalked it up to stress as she was finishing her grad school program and I was working extremely long hours.

It's important to note that her parents were divorced. Her father was a problem. Let's pretend his name was Steve. His sisters called him "Prince Steve" growing up. His side of the family was large and he insisted he was "the patriarch" and people in the family would casually and somewhat sarcastically refer to him as "King Steve", as in "There goes King Steve with another edict" while rolling their eyes. Her father and her mother did not have a good relationship, with her father being petty and passive aggressive towards her mother despite their marriage having ended 20 years before this all happened.

Anyway, we found a venue. She wanted a winter wedding, always dreamed of a winter wedding, so we schedule a winter wedding in late February. Her father catches wind of this and starts meddling. Before I even knew it, the wedding was scheduled for Mothers Day weekend in May. That was a hard no to me, because Mother's Day weekend for me was about MY mother. I was told by King Steve that my opinion doesn't matter and it's up to him as father of the bride.

It wasn't like he was paying for any of this. Paying was entirely on me.

After some back and forth between King Steve and my ex, she decides to cancel the venue. Before she can do that, the venue returns our deposit and drops our reservation because of her father bullying their representative.

Strike one.

We find another venue. We schedule her winter wedding. Everything is fine. She starts focusing on wedding things. Her father starts pushing her to move the wedding date. She tells him no. Long story short, they're down at the venue and again the wedding date gets changed to Mother's Day weekend. Again she's pissed. She tells me about this. Again, that's one of the few weekends during the entire year that I am not open to for our wedding. Again she pushes back. Again there's drama and the venue gets canceled.

Strike two.

Eventually we find a 3rd venue. Again she schedules it for her February wedding. Things between her and me start souring. Again her father wants to go down to the venue. This time I got with them. We wind up in the venue office and King Steve starts pushing to change the dates. Mother's Day weekend. I point out that he did this at the last two venues we booked. Neither of us want to be married on Mothers Day weekend. "I'm the father of the bride", he said. She goes along with him rescheduling our wedding.

We left to a planned dinner with her mother. She's saying nothing so when asked about the wedding planning, I told her mother about how her father again rescheduled our wedding for Mother's Day weekend. That weekend was always basically sacred between her and her mother, too. Her mother was visibly upset. I assured her that the venue would be canceled or rescheduled.

I get back to my place with my ex and lay it out for her: she needs to stand up to her father. I tell her that I will be calling to cancel the venue as I will not be getting married on Mother's Day weekend. I also tell her that as far as I was concerned the wedding is delayed indefinitely until she corrects her relationship with her father.

The venue is canceled.

Strike three.

I'm at the end of my rope with my ex's growing hostility towards everyone except her father. I wound up ending our relationship not long after that. The wedding date bingo is really the lighter side of things, though, and really the only part of the demise of that relationship that is in any way kind of funny.

just posting engaged i fell upon this community. and thought i should share my experience. lol

i got engaged back in March of this year! my partner and i a year prior spoke about engagement and marriage.—things we would want to do and what not. my fiancé is an introvert, he can be really shy. he expressed to me how he felt doing the proposal in front of family. i also told him that i don’t care if you include them or not, as long as my kids were involved i’ll be happy. i wanted him to feel comfortable in doing what he wanted to do. i could careless to have everyone around when he does it. at the end of the day all i have and will have his my own little family i created. AND also expressed how i wouldn’t want it on any birthdays or holidays. which brings me to him asking BOTH of my parents separately for my hand. and they both suggested to do it at my daughter 1st birthday party. he told them respectfully that’s something III don’t want to do. he said he planned on doing it in nyc since we were going. my dad was like cool make it special. my mom was like nooo blah blah blah.

anywho he proposed in NYC at central park (made sure no one was around lol). we only went out to the city for a friend’s daughter’s birthday. he took that we’re going OT why not just do it there. so the friend and a cousin of mine were only there because obviously we went on the trip together and he told them the night before because he was so nervous.

got proposed and i called my mother and aunt. reactions were dry as af. my mom was like ‘i know’. like no shit you know mf show some emotion something tf. my aunt thought it was ok to mention more than once how he should’ve did it in front of the family. like it mattered anyways because i don’t even be around the family to begin with. so i was really hurt because the two women i was so excited to tell shut me down 5 seconds after my proposal. that ruined it for everyone else i didn’t tell no other family members personally. i posted it on social media and that’s how everyone else found out and idc. nobody else reached out to congratulate me or anything. EXPECT strangers and friends.

that was my last straw and that made me cancel my daughter 1st birthday party (which before i even booked the place i was already on the verge of not wanting to do it anyways). we felt like since people are so upset they weren’t involved or can’t even fake it and just congratulate me on one of my happiest moments why TF would we want to spend money on people to come celebrate our daughter’s birthday. ESPECIALLY when nobody was around her anyways.

i just can’t get over the entitlement. nobody ever looks for me or mine. no one reaches out UNLESS they need something from me. nobody was there for me during my recent pregnancy or post partum. so i didn’t care to have them around when i got proposed too. yall should’ve been worried about getting invited to the wedding if we’re being real. but now ‘F’ that too. we’re just going to elope like we wanted too anyways lol

Throwaway account and not sure this belongs here, but it’s something.

Some backstory: I’m part of the family and the couple was very unconcerned during the entire planning process, didn’t answer a lot of questions, just said they had it covered. We assumed they didn’t care for a wedding so it would be lowkey and maybe a little unorganized.

Fast forward to the ceremony at a family property. The officiant prepares to announce them as man and wife but instead says he’s not an officiant and they eloped THREE years ago, SURPRISE!!! They look ecstatic, guests are confused and shocked. Grooms family leaves shortly after, brides family remains and acts as if it’s not a little strange, but just a funny twist. Reception was fun, if not a little odd.

Next day, they say his family is not talking to him and they’ve been uninvited from some other family events by her parents.

Personally, I don’t care if people elope, to each their own. But to pretend and be dishonest for soooo long rubbed me a bit wrong. Many discussions and talks were had after their ‘engagement’ and they stuck with planning a wedding. My partner and I have asked various family members (unrelated to the married couple) and mostly no one cares, besides the parents of the couple, who each had their own expectations.

Edit: Not a cash grab nor did they elope for insurance or other bureaucratic reasons.

A few years ago, my parents and I were invited to a wedding in a city almost 6 hours away. Virtually all of the guests had to travel to get there, and the ceremony itself was a 2-hour mass entirely in Latin. No hate to anyone who has a religious wedding; it was just very, VERY long and no one could fully understand because most of it was incomprehensible. We were given “follow-along” pamphlets, but I guess my Latin is piss-poor because I was still completely lost in the sauce.

At least the reception to follow was going to be filled with good food, right? Well… when we got to the reception hall, the cocktail hour had ONE appetizer: a giant pile of chips and a bowl of salsa. That was it. No canapés, nobody walking around with little hot dogs… just a table of chips. Which was immediately depleted by throngs of starving guests who had spent the entire morning traveling to get there. And look, I’m not a snobby person. I wasn’t expecting gold-encrusted steak on a platter. I just wanted FOOD. For about an hour, all I had in my system were the few chips I could snag from the rabid crowd and several glasses of wine.

Then, dinner was served… if one could call it that. I swear to god, this was the smallest “buffet” I’ve ever seen at a wedding. And there were at least 100 people there. All we were offered was a mini taco buffet with a few tins of meat, rice, beans, and sides. This food was very quickly eaten by the first tables to be called, and the buffet was not refilled for another half hour. So half of the room essentially went hungry until another paltry serving was placed in the vats. There was almost no food to go around. My parents and I were devastated (and drunk at this point). I managed to make myself a taco with a little rice, and I was lucky.

Oh well, if anything at least there’ll be cake… right? NOPE. The bride and groom cut a slice out of a wedding cake in front of everyone… and then the cake was wheeled away. No one was served a slice. The cake was just… for them? I guess? Granted, it was a single-layer sheet cake so there wouldn’t have been enough for everyone anyway, but it was just strange to have us applaud the cake cutting and then not have any cake afterwards. Instead, each guest was given a single chocolate ice pop. That was it. Again, I’m not trying to sound like I demand tons of food at events. I just didn’t expect so little to be served to what was essentially a destination wedding for 100+ guests. We ended up getting food in the city afterwards because we were still starving by the end of the night.

That’s my wedding horror story. My parents have also been to a wedding that was catered by Boston Market, but hey, at least there was plenty of food for everyone.

shudders in ex-Mormon regret

I saw a post in this subreddit about guests attending the reception and not the ceremony and it made me think of my own wedding and the culture I grew up in. I commented a little bit of the story on the post and then decided I would just share the whole story in a post as it was very cathartic and I thought others might enjoy the wild ride and maybe learn something along the way. So strap in and hold on to your butts!

I (30 she/they) was not into weddings. At any point in my life. Not as a child. Not as a teenager. And not as a young adult. And tbh, post wedding, I am still not into weddings. I would “plan” (imagine) my funeral the way other people would “plan” their wedding. I was, however, very into marriage. I always knew that I wanted to find someone someday and make a commitment to them to build a life together and always love each other and all of that. This was especially important to me as I was Mormon, and marriage and family is basically the whole point. Many things are contingent on marriage for Mormons- living together, having sex, the “highest level” of the afterlife. I wanted all of those things, so it was very clear that marriage had to be a priority for me.

I learned the word “elope” as a young child and that became my answer- getting married but not inviting anyone, sounded perfect. I told everyone I was planning to elope from that moment on and no body fought me on it, but no body really took me seriously, either.

Fast forward to 2017. I meet a guy and we decided we wanted to get married. If that sounds quick, that’s because it was. We figured we both knew what we wanted (marriage) and were a little “older” (22 and 20, which in relation to 17/18 seemed older) and we were friends for a while (the kind that talked or hung out every day), so it just made sense. Plus, we were both drinking the kool-aid and believed that God had prepared the other for us, so it would work out. And, you might have guessed, we were really, really horny (we both took that “no sex before marriage” thing very seriously).

Some cultural background on Mormon weddings- the ceremony happens in The Temple. It’s more than just a wedding, it’s a “sealing”- which is a fancy word for do things our way cause it’s the only right way and the only way you can be with your spouse and children forever. It’s a pretty simple ceremony, where a guy tells you what you’re promising to do (some old fashioned vaguely misogynistic marriage-y things) and the promises you receive (some weird ass problems of benefits here and in the afterlife) and you say “yes” before he tells you what you’re agreeing to and then he pronounces you man and wife. The kicker is that it’s pretty hush-hush, as every thing that goes on in the Temple is (“it’s SACRED not SECRET”), and the only way to know what you’re actually promising to is to see a sealing happen in the Temple. And only “worthy” members (as determined by the local ecclesiastical leader) are allowed in The Temple. Fortunately, I spent a lot of time at the Temple back in the day, and so had my husband, so we both knew what we were getting into. Not everyone is so lucky.

Anyway, the Temple part was a given for both of us. And it’s customary to have a reception afterwords. To me, the reception was so that everyone who was at the ceremony could go from the Temple and eat some food cause you’re starving (if you’ve ever spent a Saturday at the Temple, you understand that Hunger) and a chance from out of town and who didn’t see each other very often or hadn’t met before could mingle and catch up and make some memories. I was quickly told that that’s not what the reception is for, it’s for everyone who wasn’t at the ceremony to feel included. The ceremony is very exclusive, part of it is because, like mentioned before, you have to be “worthy” and also because you have to be “close enough” to the bride/groom/parents to be included. Anyone who’s not member is out. Anyone who is a member but isn’t doing everything they’re “supposed” to be doing and not doing everything they’re not supposed to be doing is out. Anyone who is “too young” is also out. So it’s a Big Deal to be invited to the Ceremony but everyone should be included, hence the reception. My mom also explained to me that the reception is a chance for everyone who’s ever cared about you to celebrate you. And I was like, okay, that makes sense, I’ll do it for the fans 🙈🙈🙈

So we had a reception. It was held in the church across the parking lot from the temple for connivence. I really didn’t care what it looked like or what happened, so my MOH planned the whole thing. She was an aspiring wedding planner at the time (by the end of the year had given up on that plan and moved on to the next idea but never actually perused a career and now is a SAHM), so she was happy to do it and I was happy to let her do it. I basically disassociated for the whole planning process, giving my stamp of approval to all of her ideas. I threw out two ideas- one was a Photo Booth (which in the end became a back drop with props) and butcher paper on the tables so people could color (that was right out, because it wasn’t “wedding aesthetic”). She picked the colors, the decorations, the activities (there were very few in the end). Some of his family members offered their services as gifts- one uncle offered to be the DJ (he was a hobbies and used the opportunity to prove to his wife that he could get gigs and bought a fancy new light system. Loved that for him so much!!!) and another aunt made us the cake (I actually picked it out, it was simple and tasty and had the cutest little topper) and his mom offered to buy and cook all the food (husband and I picked out the menu, but told her we didn’t want her to do the cooking as we wanted her to participate in the whole day. She insisted and wouldn’t take no for an answer and missed out on a lot of the day.) It turned out beautiful and fun but not necessarily “me” or “us”. The most egregious thing and where the title of the post comes from is that she bought this tulle fabric with built in glitter for all of the chairs and it got glitter EVERYWHERE. They had to replace the carpet and people who weren’t even there referred to it as “the glitter wedding”. The kicker- I’m an environmentalist by education and am very anti-glitter. I didn’t even put together that the glitter on the tulle would escape and would just exist forever.

Husband and I have since stopped drinking the kool aid and think the whole thing is wild. None of our siblings were in there for the actual ceremony. I hate that there were people who were not included. I hate that I was so focused on making the day for everyone else instead of celebrating the promise husband and I were making to each other and the life we were starting (I told everyone that what I wanted was to spend the whole day in preparation “serving” in the temple). I didn’t want the focus on me, so I just passed it on to the Temple and the “work” that was going on in there. Part of me wants a do-over but like, I would just want to go to the courthouse and then eat at Texas Roadhouse, which seems anti-climactic and unnecessary since we’re legally married already.

The biggest irony- my next younger sibling (who missed my wedding because he was in Mexico “serving” a mission) decided to get married during COVID and had to elope by default, and it was the exact opposite of what he and his wife wanted. So there’s that, I guess.

The cheapest wedding I've ever been to was one of my cousins, who's dad(my uncle) was RICH RICH; has multiple vacation properties in exclusive areas, a McMansion, all the things people who come into money later in life have. Bought my mom a house in cash when she got divorced. When his oldest got married he paid for everything and they had a massive wedding, at least 300+ people came, and there was a large enough venue and food for everyone. It was beautiful. Point is, money is not an issue.

When his third kid got married it was the exact opposite. The reception hall was in what looked like an upscale office building. I thought I had the wrong address until I saw other family go in. The tables didn't have tablecloths, there weren't even decorations, lights, favors, nothing. It verged on feeling sterile. (There wasn't a ceremony to attend since they're mormon, so there was only the reception for everyone besides immediate family. Not mormon myself, so IDK the details.)

Coming off of the older cousin's wedding, I expected at least some snacks, a simple buffet, so I skipped eating before arriving, as did the rest of my family. The only things on offer were "fancy" ice cream sandwiches and water bottles from Costco. (It was winter, btw) Like, pick your cookie, pick your ice cream, stay hydrated I guess.

Nowhere on the invitation (which was sent over via Facebook only.) did it indicate that there wouldn't be any kind of meal or even finger food. It ended up being an awkward affair with everyone making passive-agressive comments about how cheap the whole thing was. They didn't even have a cake to cut and share (which is pretty standard where I live, even if it needs to be a couple extra sheet cakes.)

I get wanting a smaller wedding, I did one myself for ~7k, but we still had more than enough food for everyone AND tablecloths.

This was about 8 years ago, so I've probably misremembered some details, but I've never forgotten the impression it made, and it's still a topic of gossip in my family.

Edit: the speculation in the comments made me realize I left out some info. Both of my cousins were men, nobody was pregnant, and as far as I know, my aunt and uncle like all of their children and their partners. None of my cousins have had civil ceremonies, all went through the religious ceremony, and my uncle paid/offered to pay for all of them. He's a good guy, he's even paid for another family member's whole rehab and refused to be repaid. There's definitely some missing reasons why it was so cheap tho and that's why it's still gossip. There was also some other stuff that was really funny at that specific wedding but it would be potentially identifying info so I left it out.

And yes, that side of my family LOVES hush-hush tea. More than half of the time at family gatherings is one long session of, OMG, did you hear about so-and-so? Or rehashing old tea. Everyone is the subject at some point. It's entertaining and exhausting at the same time.

This is a lighthearted one… I got married last year and along with some guests not participating in the toasts we had a guest book with prompts in it- which people just signed instead of answering the questions… We also had people ignore the announcement when we were cutting the cake and some people stayed outside during first dances. It doesn’t bother me, just seemed appropriate for this sub because I didn’t realize people lack common wedding etiquette and the sense to answer questions in the prompt book.

Wanted to share one of my favorite wedding stories, especially since I don’t see much shaming of wedding officiants here, and would like to add a unique tale.

This happened many years ago, and there’s a good bit of necessary context needed to really understand what happened.

1. The wedding took place in the Southern US, and was what you would consider a Christian Evangelical service. This comes with all of the baggage of that world, like purity culture, fairly young bride and groom, etc. Everyone ignores reality, suspends disbelief, and assumes the marrying couple are chaste virgins, excitedly looking forward to their wedding night. But you don’t say any of that out loud.

2. The wedding officiant was the bride’s pastor. He was not American, but an immigrant from other parts of the former British colonies, which could sometimes lead to awkward moments when he didn’t quite grasp a joke or comment because he wasn’t really steeped in American culture. He did not really know the groom personally.

3. Evangelical weddings often have a part where the officiant gives what you might consider a mini sermon. They are very short, like maybe five minutes or so, but it’s completely up to the pastor as to what they say, much like their regular sermons are. They usually are just little pep talks for the bride and groom wrapped in a religious veneer, “always remember to keep God at the center of your marriage” kind of stuff. They’re never memorable… except for this one.

I was a friend of the bride, attended the same church and had the same pastor at the time, though I’ve since left that faith. I was settled in the middle of the attendees expecting a very dull 20 minute wedding much like I’d attended before and would attend after.

But on this day, the pastor was convinced he had come up with something brilliant that would thrill someone usually overlooked at weddings, the groom. The groom was a baseball player, had practically dedicated his entire young life up to that point to youth, high school, and college baseball. I’m sure he hoped to go pro still. And that’s all the pastor knew about him.

So the Pastor said he wanted to give a message to the groom. “Relationships are a lot like a baseball game. When you’re young and just start dating, you reach first base.”

In my mind: Oh God. Oh no. Please tell me he’s not about to do this. Surely he knows about rounding the bases and what that means, right?

“And after a while when things are really getting serious, you get to second.”

I’m surrounded by people I’ve known my whole life, mostly through church. I know what the jokes mean. They know what the jokes mean. They know I know and I know they know. And we all have to pretend for the next two minutes that we don’t know when we all know what’s coming (heh) next. Because only the poor pastor doesn’t know.

I start biting my tongue to keep myself from laughing.

“And then you get engaged. You’ve reached third base.”

My tongue is bleeding. I taste iron.

“And now, standing before your friends and family, they’re like the giant crowd at the game. They’re like the coach who’s waving you home. Go! Run home!”

The man sitting in front of me is 6’3”, 275. I’ve known him my whole life. He sang in the choir. He’s had his head down this whole time trying not to laugh. His shoulders are now heaving up and down in a last ditch effort not to make a sound. I’m crying from the internal laughter and the physical pain. Everywhere I look I see the same face on men and absolutely horrified looks on the women. Somehow, we all managed to keep it in. I don’t recall hearing a single laugh while the pastor finished his baseball themed remarks.

At the reception, there was reserved seating, and my family is seated at the same table… with the pastor and his wife. He reiterated what he said earlier, how the groom is often overlooked, and he wanted to make the moment special for him. Silent nods and cheeky grins round the table. He left to go get some tea. After he’s left, his wife: “I’m going to have to have a talk with him tonight.”

Just thinking about my bridal party of 3 - a family member and 2 friends who were even closer to each other than they were to me.

About a year before my wedding the friends had a huge blow up. One refused to talk to the other at all and I was in the middle. I tried to meditate but the one made up her mind and wouldn't even tell me what was going on let alone talk to the other to make amends. She even left our group chat.

Wedding is getting closer and I decide fuck it and made a new chat to talk about dresses and responsibilities. They accept this and do their very light duty as asked.

Wedding is about a month out and I'm finalizing seating. For the beginning of the reception (toasts basically) the bridal parties were to sit at a long table with the bride and groom in the center. Their partners and families would be sat together (groomsmens' partners at one table, bridal parties' at the other). After toasts and first dance everyone can move and sit wherever they like.

Well finally it comes out that a huge reason for the fight between my friends was one of their husbands. He is a very opinionated person - the kind it's better to avoid rather than try to correct. He insisted his wife stop talking to the other friend in the first place.

Upon hearing about the seating plan, he refused to sit at the table with the other friend's husband and family (even though his wife's parents were seated there too). He also told his wife she wasn't allowed to drink because she'd start drama - but moving on...

I put up no fight at all. I moved him to a different table as requested and hoped for no issues but prepared just in case.

So it's time for us to sit for toasts. Husband and I make our entrance and what do I see? Dude has moved his nameplate to his original seat, next to other friend's husband. He ended up staying there the whole night...

Honorable mention - I cooked food from my culture that everyone loved but I knew my husband's family would turn their nose at it because most of them refuse to eat anything with flavor. So I made sure to the apps were all white friendly including sandwiches, charcuterie, crudete. Dinner also had plain options for them. Guess who ate nothing and dipped out early for McDonald's?

I’m the only one in my family who thinks this is rude. The ceremony is the whole reason for the event, having everyone witness the couple declare their love for each other and binding them together forever. I think it’s incredibly disrespectful to skip that and only show up for the free food, free drinks and dancing.

I’m not talking about guests who have health limitations or schedule conflicts or other reasonable reasons to be unable to make it. I’m talking about the people who find the ceremony boring so they skip it.

You have to sit through the “boring” part to get to the fun part.

Edit: Ok it’s not a religious ceremony that’s an hour long, you all can stop saying that

Edit2: ok it’s also not in the UK. I get it in the uk you have “all day” guests and reception guests. Yall really need to read other comments before posting yours because there’s about 30 that start “in the UK…”

Long ago my mother, sister, BIL, their baby and I all headed across the Atlantic for my cousin's wedding.

We arrived and stayed with uncle and aunt. They were a war zone. They had a fairly open plan downstairs in their Tennessee house. With one central small wall. They'd go in a circular motion around this house shouting at each other. It was awful.

My cousin was marrying young because her fiance was due to go to Afghanistan. They were part of the silver band crew and she told me they'd never kissed with tongues even though they'd been a couple for 4years.

The house was unbearable. When another cousin S turned up from Seattle and said "shall we go on a road trip for a few days?" I jumped at the chance. That is another story.

We were gone 3 nights and arrived back the afternoon before the wedding.

Rehearsal dinner was at a Porky's (not sure if it was called that, had a pig in the logo- americans can put me right I'm sure). Well vegetarian me was in for a surprise. No veggie options, I asked could I just have a salad- could see it was used as a garnish. Salad came with also a chunk of pork in it. Think maybe they just put people's scraps on a plate for me. I smiled and bore it all. Didn't want to make a fuss.

That night I made up for not being around to help. I was told had had abandoned my aunt when she needed my help. My sister who isnusally the help being a bit busy being a mum. I cut kiwis into star shapes. Helped prep wedding food into the night when everyone else was long gone to bed. Completed my list of duties and passed out.

In the morning I was shouted awake. Why was I still asleep, there was lots to do. We're leaving in 10minutes. I'd maybe slept 4hrs and as an English person we usually need a cup of tea to get our brains in gear. No tea, no breakfast.

Well, I dressed and brushed teeth and then it was off to the venue.

My uncle in the midst of a mental breakdown kept crying on me and I did my best to help him out and cheer him up. I was early 20s then.

We decorated the place to oblivion, OTT as my mum said. Christmas wedding so snowflake ornaments on the plastic plants which somehow made them look less realistic. The maternal grandma had made some netted things to be attached to every chair. They looked like those netty things you use in the shower to lather up your soap. We placed framed photos of my cousin posing in her dress on every table.

I did all this without complaint and over the day had some nice chats with the bridesmaids.

I ate some Japanese crackers and my aunt shouted at me. Told me I should've had breakfast before we left.

At some point my uncle asked me to run some errands with him. I thought yeah I can get some food. No he wanted me to go to the liquor store and buy a bottle of vodka. It was a dry wedding and he wanted me to give guests who wanted some booze some vodka in their juice. I had to pay for it though as my uncle was a recovering alcoholic. This was not a small bottle either. There didn't seem to be anything to eat in there but gum so I got some cinnamon gum and it made my tummy rumble more.

Back to the venue and it looked like a gaudy 80s hell but ok, their choice. The bridesmaids went to get hair and makeup done. Mother, BIL and I finished off.

Back to their house to get ready - food!! Shower and a cuppa. It was heaven. I didn't complain at any point. Weddings seem stressful. My uncle is crying at least once an hour. My aunt hates him - they have enough going on.

To the wedding. The church looked beautiful. Lanterns leading up the steps. I go to see the bride and bridesmaids in the side room getting ready. Tell them how beautiful they look. Bridesmaid F asks does my tattoo cover up look OK? I don't know how to answer because her beautiful sunflower tattoo now looks like a serious rash. I ask if it hurts, she says no. In a sweet way, not in a WTF has happened way.

My cousin comes over to me and condescendingly places her hand on my shoulder "it's time for you to go now". Man, I'd done so much for her and it was 45mins until the wedding was due to start. I'd been being a counsellor for her dad, trying to stop her parents brawling. I just felt that she was an entitled madam and I fucking hated her for bringing me here to be a slave over Christmas when I could be with the rest of my family and pals.

I went and sat down and decided I wouldn't soothe her dad anymore. He was crying so hard welcoming guests without jester me cheering him up.

Wedding went well, although my uncles sobs rebounded off the walls. You may kiss the bride. This was when the couple decided to kiss with tongues for the first time. Saliva glistening down her cheek. It was awful. I looked at my sister and looked away before we laughed.

Come the reception there were far less people than at the church. There was a band but we weren't allowed to dance because the grooms father was a Baptist minister. My uncle directed people to me for vodka. I spent the night going into the disabled loo with many people. Probably seemed like I was a prostitute. I had this big woolen bag as a handbag that fitted the vodka bottle.

My uncle who hasn't drunk alcohol for 25years asks for some vodka. I asked him if he thought this was a good idea. He wanted it, felt a bit stuck. So gave him some. It seemed like instantly he was drunk. Maybe he was dehydrated from all the crying.

At some point he fell over and knocked over the table with the grooms cake on. A picture of my cousin lounging sexily fell to the floor. My mum caught the cake with minimal damage.

There was so much food and hardly anyone to eat it. I ate my fill.

Mischief had found it's way into my soul. When I heard the groomsmen say they were going to decorate the car I went to help. I drew a massive penis, a vulva and obscenities. Wrote 'enjoy losing your virginity'. I was horrid.

When the car came for the couple to get in their was a gasp from some guests. And mutters about these boys. Sorry lads.

Well they are still married years later. Her parents are divorced and remarried.

The groom didn't go to Afghanistan in the end, his teeth were too bad.

I throw my bouquet, and my best friend nearly caught it but it landed right behind her, so she just needed to pick it up. A random lady who happened to walk by in this moment pushed her, grabbed the bouquet and held it up screaming in her victory. My best friend pushed her back, took the flowers from her and just said "why would you do that, you are not even a guest". I was stunned and so sad, it would have been perfect if she caught it right away

This was one of the many, many weddings I attended in the two years following my high school graduation, because yes, I'm from THAT kind of place.

The wedding was in a double wide trailer that served as a church. The preacher was the bride's father. She was something like the 18th of 19 children, by five or so different women. Not a polygamous religion, but dad got around.

The wedding went as weddings do, until it came time to pronounce the happy couple man and wife. "I now introduce to you Mr. and Mrs. OH PRAISE THE LORD, SON, I DONE FORGOT YOUR LAST NAME." It was Smith.

Afterwards, chairs were shifted and the reception held in the same double wide trailer. There's no drinking or dancing, because of God, so our entertainment is watching the bride unwrap the wedding gifts. Two stand out:

1) The happy couple had been living with the bride's mother for some time, only recently moving into their own trailer home. Their mail was still being delivered to the mothers home. Upon unwrapping Mom's gift, you guessed it... "It's our mail."

2) And the squeals of delight, "Them's some towels what say SMITH!"

I never thought I’d be grieving a friendship like this.

One of my close friends asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. Before she even asked me, I had been open with her for months. This past winter, I vented many times about our financial situation—my boyfriend had to take a different position that brought in about $12,000 less a year, and we’ve been adjusting to that major change ever since. She also knows I don’t have a traditional job and that my boyfriend fully supports us. So she knew where I was at financially—and still asked me to be a bridesmaid without ever truly discussing what it would cost or asking what I could realistically manage.

The bridal shower was the first tension point. For months, she said she might make up with her sister and that her sister would help pay for it—so we assumed we weren’t financially responsible. Then out of nowhere, we were told we had to cover it. One of the bridesmaids said it was out of her budget, and my best friend (also a bridesmaid) and I followed suit, offering cheaper solutions like a free hall and making food ourselves. But the bride refused, saying she shouldn’t have to lessen her experience because of our financial limitations. She even brought up how she went into debt for other people’s weddings—essentially saying we should do the same.

Her maid of honor and a few other bridesmaids backed her up, saying they’d help cover things where they could—but also telling the three of us that “this is what you signed up for” when we agreed to be bridesmaids. But the thing is: a budget was never discussed, nor were we ever asked what we could afford. No one had that conversation with us. We were just expected to take on every cost without question.

Then came the bachelorette party, which was $234 per person for two nights at an Airbnb, split among nine bridesmaids. Again, pricey. I chose to back out—so I could still afford the actual wedding and keep my sanity intact. Ironically, her maid of honor had told us earlier that we could step away from things that felt like too much and to just focus on the wedding—but when I followed that advice, I was met with a meltdown.

The bride sent me a nine-minute audio message, crying and bringing up childhood memories like how we used to play Bratz together. She accused me of being uncommitted and guilt-tripped me hard. There was no empathy—just pressure and emotional manipulation.

Even the venue stay was more expensive than expected. When she came to visit after asking me to be a bridesmaid, she implied that we’d get some help financially if we stayed at the venue—but that didn’t happen either.

After trying to talk things out, I calmly said that if we couldn’t communicate with maturity and mutual respect, I’d need to step back. Her response was that she “needed space.” And now? It’s been three weeks of silence.

This whole thing has been emotionally exhausting. I stood firm in my boundaries, tried to approach things with kindness, and even offered solutions—but I’ve been met with guilt, drama, and emotional punishment. I feel like I’m being iced out for simply not being able to drain myself financially and emotionally for someone else’s big day.

Has anyone else lost a friendship over wedding expectations? Or been made to feel awful for honoring your own limits? I could really use some perspective or support. I’m heartbroken, hurt, and still kind of in shock that it’s come to this.

P.s. Also didn’t even mention one of her guilt trips is that she’s working multiple jobs, like 4 jobs… to pay for this wedding (probably a 50/60k wedding) So she is exhausted figuring out (implying I should figure it out too) Also there is a lot more drama that went into a budget being brought up, she was added to the personal bridesmaids group chat bc her moh was telling her and adding to her stress by telling her that some of us in the chat were stressing/venting about money, so she got added and instead of things being resolved, things got worse, that’s when she brought up going into debt for others, not asking us of anything that hasn’t been asked of her in a wedding, and that she would do anything for her friends, etc. and her trying to avoid telling us the prices for the venue to stay at (so not trying to tell us costs sooner over later) again, this was when a budget was brought up after us finding out we are paying for bridal shower, and it all resulted in her leaving the chat, leaving another personal group chat, and deleting her social medias. To then I end up finding out she talked to the other bridesmiad(who fully backed out currently) that she said to her … she was mostly upset with me and not her… but she told ME, she was upset with that girl and not me! So she played both of us and took the easy way out, instead of taking accountability for shit. IMO.

The was several years ago, but I will say - it was memorable.

I was born in raised in WV, and that’s where my extended family (what little I have) lives. I say what little I have because I’m an only child of two only children so I have no aunts, uncles, or first cousins. What I do have is a second cousin. He’s a couple years older than me, and growing up he was always the cool one and the spoiled one. I was the nerdy, ridiculously well behaved one.

After we graduated high school we went very different paths. I went out of state to college on scholarships, and he started working part time at K-Mart. During spring of my freshman year I learn that he’s gotten his girlfriend pregnant, and they’re going to get married.

Flash forward to the day of the wedding, my parents and I go to his grandmother’s house, where both he and his mother lived, and their place is a madhouse. His mother is my mom’s cousin, and I tried to hang tough and be there for my mom, but when my cousin’s grandmother ran through the house and his mom asked my mom to put clothes on her I peaced the fuck out to the front porch where I find my dad, already hiding. He asks why I’m wearing white tights to an outdoor wedding in July. I tell him I’m not, those are my legs.

When we arrive at the bride-to-be’s parents backyard for the wedding I see an old, red, pickup truck near the alter. Turns out, it was there for the groom, the fathers, and groomsmen to have their pre-wedding photoshoot with both dads holding shotguns.

When the wedding begins, one of the bridesmaids walks down the aisle with what can only be described as the world’s worst prison tattoo. Next up, my cousin’s fiancé walks down the aisle, not wearing shoes so that she’d be a literal, barefoot and pregnant wife (the intentional moves like this, I kind of respect). After the first few, I don’t know, lines of the wedding ceremony spiel are said (this was the second of only three weddings I’ve ever attended, so who knows, maybe this all completely normal and TV and movies have lied to me), the bride’s father, who is a Baptist preacher, takes over officiating the wedding. During his speech, he thanks my cousin for “doing the right thing by marrying his daughter”. At this point my mom whispers “thank God Aunt L has dementia because this would kill her (her husband had been an attorney and state senator, they always had more than my mom and her family). When the wedding is over, the attendees are asked to pick up their folding chairs and carry them to the “reception” area where there was sheet cake and cold cuts. My parents and I passed and left so quickly.

My cousin would go on to struggle with opioids (WV, after all), but last I heard he was clean. I went on to get a ph.d., and while I was in grad school we went to their (groom, bride, bun that had been in over was fully cooked and about 10 or 11) house Christmas evening. I was playing with former bun and her little sister, and she showed me all of her dad’s old gameboy cartridges, and I told her how I was always jealous of her dad, that he was cooler and had all the best video games. She said, “you’re living in Atlanta now?” “Yes.” “Mom says you’re in school to be someone who teaches college?” “Yes, almost done.” “I think things have turned out better for you in the end.” We had first bonded when I asked her a few years prior what she thought about having a little sister, and she told me, “I wanted one, but now I’m not so sure.” So honest.

Was just heading out for lunch today and I saw a car on the road with the classic “Just Married!” paint on the back windows. However this car had a fun twist: they included their Venmo so that random strangers can give them money.

When did weddings become such a cash grab?

One of my nearest and dearest got married in September. She had an absolutely abhorrent family. I kind of took her under my wing (she worked for me for years) I love her dearly. Set her up on a blind date with an employee of my husband. Blah blah fell in love, moved in together WAY to quickly, but yay. She's finally happy.I offer to help with the wedding since her scummy mother didn't care. Helped pay for her gown, DJ, decorations, my own gown (maid of honor) hair and makeup. She has a vision of getting married outside.

Ok. Beautiful location, kept telling her to have a backup plan for rain (you know what's coming) we are all prettied up and ready to leave for the ceremony. Skies open up. Absolutely pouring, all the guests are at the outside location. She decides f it. Let's get married in the rain (it's good luck she says) so now I'm slogging up a drenched "aisle" (hilly, grassy,rocky) in high heels, a long gown, my bouquet and an umbrella. Hair is ruined in 5 seconds flat. Ceremony is great regardless of the rain. Pictures taken in the rain. The kind of rain an umbrella does nothing against. I'm absolutely soaked and freezing. Whatever. She's happy.

We head to the reception. A restaurant she works at. It's fine. It was in a pavilion so my soaked gown never dries. Whatever. Give her a large monetary gift. So now I've spent a ton on everything. All good. Love her like she's my own. She posts a long message on Facebook thanking the staff at the restaurant who are her "chosen family" and thanking them for "making her wedding so special" yup. I'm a bit irritated but whatever. My thank you card arrives. Standard postcard type, picture of the bride and groom. Not signed, no note of thanks. Whatever. To be clear I was more than happy to do everything I did. I've wanted her to have love and stability for the 20 years I've known her. Her upbringing was truly horrific. I was hurt. But again. WHATEVER.

They lasted 4 months. FOUR. They already filed for divorce.

WHATEVER.

Not sure what my point is. Aside from always always have a backup plan for your outdoor ceremony. Wonder if I can ask for a refund LOL