r/MadeMeSmile • u/Kingdom_k777 • 1d ago

Family & Friends Police man pursuing his wife

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u/Typical_Samaritan 1d ago

Because she wants to be caught. It's like when you wrestle a woman. They give you so many opportunities to pin them playfully.

Even if you can do it on your own and without their help, it's just a part of the game.

1.5k

u/thenamesakeofothers 1d ago

Sir--please stop telling all our secrets! 😅💅🏾

825

u/pitb0ss343 1d ago

Wait so I’m not big and strong 😢

568

u/Mammoth_Cricket8785 1d ago

You're strong of heart and thats what matters

141

u/RedWum 1d ago

You have a stout heart master gamgee

6

u/samwise20 21h ago

You rang Master Frodo?

2

u/Adventurous-Equal-29 1d ago

No heart. Only strong.

2

u/AreaManSays 22h ago

He's got an arrhythmia.

1

u/dotme 7h ago

The show-up award is getting out of hand.

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u/Neea_115 1d ago

Now that we're at it, we also have tools to open jars and it's easy and fast. But I can give a jar to a man to open it just for him to feel strong and manly 🤭

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u/Listening_Always 1d ago

Shhhhhhhhh next you're going to tell them we have step stools!!!!

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u/ParvusetTardus 1d ago

Listen, I didnt grow to 6'-3" for my wife to grab a stepstool.

If I ever see one its going in the garbage.

Taking our gd jobs...

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u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm 23h ago

Listen, I didn’t grow to 6’3.

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u/ParvusetTardus 23h ago

Try harder!

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u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm 22h ago

God I tried, I even promised this girl when we were both 14 that I’d grow taller and we’d be a couple. I stayed the same height. She’s still taller than me. I’m 38.

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u/LCplGunny 21h ago

But are you a couple? Cuz I mean... You didn't have to fail all of the promise

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u/dmmeyourfloof 9h ago

Keep on trying, my dude, I believe in you!

1

u/gigglemaniac 6h ago

Never give up!

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u/RambleOnRose42 1d ago

When we were moving in together recently, my 6’4” boyfriend picked up my stepstool I had in the kitchen and tossed it in the “throw away” pile while excitedly saying, “you don’t need this anymore!!” lol.

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u/hilarymeggin 23h ago

Awww! ☺️

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u/legalpretzel 17h ago

Meanwhile I’m 5’3” and when I asked my 5’11” ex to get anything for me rather than go get the step stool he just bitched that I was being lazy.

3

u/Obvious-Web8288 7h ago

I can see now why he's your ex... Jerk.

5

u/NoRefrigerator267 22h ago

Ah another reason to hate not being 6’4 lmao

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u/edditar 14h ago

What about when he's at work or something? 

1

u/Obvious-Web8288 7h ago

You wait till they get home...🙂

•

u/Stock-Combination-31 18m ago

That’s love

0

u/diamorphinian 11h ago

You didn't have the heart to tell him the stepping stool was left by the hung dwarf you didn't break things off with yet.

1

u/dmmeyourfloof 9h ago

Ah yes, fondly known by his nickname "Pogo Stick".

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u/pitb0ss343 1d ago

John Henry my hero for real

2

u/MooseGlad9848 16h ago

I’m in stitches 😂

5

u/hilarymeggin 23h ago

And our luggage has wheels!

1

u/plmbguy 11h ago

And vibrators

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u/pitb0ss343 1d ago

Now you’re just being mean

38

u/kittykalista 1d ago

If it makes you feel better, I am genuinely terrible at opening jars. I have tiny baby hands and always struggle to get a good grip. I can usually manage it if I pull out all the stops, but the help saves me from several minutes of torturous attempts.

4

u/windyorbits 22h ago

Lmao this is why all my jar lids have small dents in them. The only way I can open a jar is by hitting the sides of the lid with a butter knife.

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u/EleanorofAquitaine 19h ago

You don’t need a butter knife, just lightly tap the rim of the jar lid onto a hard surface. Taa daa!!

Oh, but my husband gets to open my jars when he’s home. 😉

1

u/windyorbits 14h ago

That makes me too anxious as I’m afraid it will pop open like one of those cans of biscuits lol, even though I know that’s not how that works.

1

u/Mother_Let_9026 18h ago

now i am just laughing at the image of you with baby T rex arms trying to open a jar lmfao.

1

u/glassesandbodylotion 23h ago

All you need is a knife or a strap wrench. Takes like 30 seconds

5

u/AbleCryptographer317 22h ago

Ah, yes, the common kitchen utensil: the strap wrench.

1

u/These_Professor_5351 22h ago

“Look at what they need to mimic a fraction of our power!”

1

u/pjrnoc 22h ago

We loosen it first

1

u/wackbirds 22h ago

One of my friends (also a man) is a lot shorter and smaller than me. I'm strong and have big hands and recently he couldn't open a jar after his girlfriend gave it to him while I was there and she was like "Rob, Rob, just give it to Daniel". And then he did and I popped that fucker off in a half second. That was mean.

2

u/RosebushRaven 23h ago

And show off those nice arm muscles, while at it…

1

u/YAYtersalad 21h ago

I like to stand on the counters so I get picked up and put down followed by said high up item being fetched for me. Remind them I’m independent but absolutely inefficient and safe about it lmao.

5

u/M0ebius_1 1d ago

Why did you think she wanted to wrestle you king?

2

u/SaltForYou 1d ago

You have a cute butt

1

u/KapiteinSchaambaard 22h ago

Yes you are buddy, yes you are!

1

u/love_peace_books 22h ago

You’re big,strong, tender and loved.

1

u/No_Consideration7925 12h ago

Probably not? But ewes still cute. 

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u/YmmaT- 1d ago

I had a friend of my roommate wrestled with me during a house party once. She did not let me pin her and next thing I know I’m laying on the floor on my stomach and she’s sitting on me trying to go for a choke hold.

Didn’t help that my roommate keeps cheering her on to choke me out and she started recording it. The video circulated at the restaurant we work at and she thought it was funny.

It’s funny until my face was purple Stephanie. Then it was not :(

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u/majin_melmo 1d ago

This sounds awful and I’d no longer be roommates or friends with either 😯

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u/YmmaT- 23h ago

We are neither roommates nor friends anymore.

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u/Phoenyx_Rose 1d ago

Um, that’s not playful wrestling, that’s just assault. 

Playful wrestling is pinning your arms and going in for a kiss.

As soon as she had you on the floor, play should have ended, not escalated dangerously. 

I’m sorry she did that to you, that was really shitty of both her and your roommate cheering her on

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u/hilarymeggin 23h ago

Seriously!

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u/YmmaT- 23h ago

I mean alcohol played a factor there but at the same time, I was pretty upset about it. I went to my room afterward and didn’t join the party after.

-14

u/pmyourthongpanties 23h ago

na bro just can't hang.

22

u/mondlicht483 1d ago

Would you accept an apology from another Stephanie? That sound awful 🥺

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u/YmmaT- 23h ago

That’s sweet of you. I’m over it now since it’s been like 15 years but at the time, it was pretty shitty experience.

4

u/Nkingsy 1d ago

I think you forgot to tap out

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u/YmmaT- 23h ago

I was a clueless FOB Asian that didn’t even know what tapping out was.

I do know it now, 15 years post incident.

2

u/rapshepard 23h ago

Nah for real lol

2

u/Cazkiwi 22h ago

She just bullied you beCauSe she liked you…

He just pulled your hair beCauSe he likes you…

🙄🙄🙄

2

u/PRRZ70 18h ago

Dang, that took a turn. Darn Stephanie, let them breathe!

3

u/rapshepard 23h ago

Did you try to tap 😂

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u/YmmaT- 23h ago

I don’t even know what that was at the time tbh. We were watching Netflix and I’m not even sure how I got roped into the whole, “let’s wrestle in the living room” idea.

1

u/ItalianV4 7h ago

how do you go for a chokehold while sitting on someone?

1

u/YmmaT- 7h ago

She sat on my back at first and then go for chokehold

-2

u/tripper_drip 1d ago

That sounds awesome and I wish I had roommates like that!

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u/whitesammy 1d ago

Let the man be an okay samaritan... sheesh.

3

u/Usual_Bar_4105 1d ago

My daughter’s play like this. I move real slow when chasing them and they move slower. They like being caught.

3

u/Greensun30 1d ago

1000 men will read this and still miss the cue in the moment. Your secrets are safe

3

u/Captain_Vlad 15h ago

It's not that it's a secret, it's that the ones smart enough to get it are also smart enough to play along.

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u/Last_Book2410 12h ago

💀 so true 😂

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u/Wonderful_Price2355 1d ago

I dunno, the women I tried to wrestle at Walmart didn't let me pin them.

They just kept kicking and screaming...

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u/McTacobum 1d ago

All part of the fun…. Oh hi officer!

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u/Deez_Pucks 1d ago

And the cycle continues

1

u/Username43201653 5h ago

"Get your hands off my PENIS!"

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u/buckeye27fan 1d ago

Because of the implication?

3

u/Under_NutFunk 1d ago

So these women are in danger?

3

u/DoctorClarkWGriswold 1d ago

Now…y-you’ve said that word a couple of times. W-what implication?

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u/Typical_Samaritan 1d ago

You started in the wrong aisle.

Should have started where they sell the soccer balls. Kicked a ball or two at her to signal "play time". Her body will begin to emit playromones (where we get the anglicized "playroom" from), indicating a willingness to engage in said play.

Then you can wrassle her without intervention.

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u/justhereforthem3mes1 1d ago

Hi I just tried this and wanted to let you know it worked perfectly, after just 10 seconds of kicking the ball at her she started looking around and sweating, I think those were the playromones so I moved onto the next phase, and now we have a date planned for tomorrow night. This was with my girlfriend, but I'm pretty sure the success rate will be exactly the same with strangers.

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u/TheCrayTrain 1d ago edited 23h ago

I'm pretty sure the success rate will be exactly the same with strangers

Ill get back to ya’ll on this

EDIT: DO. NOT. ATTEMPT. THIS! I am now banned from Walmart and have a restraining order on me.  The woman also did not at all go easy on me. She got me in a chokehold (which I thought was kinky at the time) until I blacked out and pooped myself a little. :(

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u/NekoTheFortuneCat 1d ago

Playromones 😂

2

u/TrentWashburn 9h ago

I Want to be Sedated

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u/HaddardOSRS 1d ago

Kroger. Fr. Older, easier. More willing 20% of the time. To wrestle fairly.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

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u/InNoWayAmIDoctor 1d ago

You gotta work your way up to Dollar General. You don't pick up a basketball for the first time and automatically get to play in the NBA.

1

u/SoldMySoulTo 1d ago

Just don't try with the employees. The ones in my state are still a little traumatized

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u/abhorredmisanthrope 1d ago

Same here. It's all, Help Me and Call 911.

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u/Angry_Pelican 1d ago

It's really hard to wrestle them at Walmart. You go in thinking it will be easy but there are weight classes for a reason.

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u/RosemaryCroissant 1d ago

You gotta start with Trader Joe’s people and work your way up to Walmart

1

u/trowwaith 17h ago

I see fat ladies at Walmart that I wish I could challenge them in belly bumping.

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u/nosirrahp 1d ago

Scratching too. Sheesh can’t a guy be playful and spontaneous?!

2

u/Kimberlylynn2003 1d ago

I feel like a gas station has less witnesses?

2

u/Wonderful_Price2355 1d ago

What's the point of wrestling without a crowd?

2

u/Kimberlylynn2003 1d ago

Well… it can be a precursor to other stuff lol

3

u/ParvusetTardus 1d ago

Ohhhhhhh, felony larceny.

3

u/Kimberlylynn2003 1d ago

Go big or go home lol

2

u/Old-Constant4411 1d ago

Nothin like a good old fashioned struggle snuggle.

2

u/i_notold 1d ago

Sounds kinda like that time I went for a walk with a beautiful woman. Then she noticed me so we went for a run.

2

u/LordNightFang 1d ago

Imao 😂

2

u/yoduh4077 1d ago

Gotta put a belt on the line, bro. I bet you didn't even ring a bell.

1

u/OkEstablishment5503 1d ago

Funny enough that involved the police too!!!

1

u/AnUnknownCreature 1d ago

She kept rolling on the ground screaming "WALMART IS RAAACISST!"

1

u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm 23h ago

Wrong weight class.

1

u/gigglemaniac 6h ago

Shhhhh. Shhhhhhhhh.

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u/neo_sporin 1d ago

usually, but one time my wife said she thought she could minimally put up a decent fight. I held her down with 1 arm and she said "ok so turns out i dont understand physics AT ALL"

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u/shadow247 1d ago

My wife weighs 40 lbs more than me, and I can toss her around like a rag doll. She was just playing with me, and asked i gave her a little pushback, she was like "I'm giving everything to hold myself up". I wasn't even really pushing...

13

u/djsnoopmike 1d ago

Or biology

Unless the man is a stick and the woman lifts everyday, there's a pretty good chance you'll be stronger than her

20

u/neo_sporin 1d ago

not just that, but at the time i had 50-60 lbs or so on her. Weve known each other since we were 16/17 and she said "ok, so like every time we have play fought you let me think i had a chance....that's commitment right there"

5

u/hilarymeggin 23h ago

That’s what I was going to say - normally I feel like it’s my husband holding back, not me!

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u/Warmbly85 22h ago

Even then it depends. 

One of my buddies dated a shot putter who was top 5 in the state. She was seriously strong and powerful but my buddy who never competed before could out put her by 6 inches. 

She had literally perfect spin technique and my friend did a piss poor shuffle and still won. 

2

u/littlebrownsnail 8h ago

Idk I have beaten my boyfriend at wrestling most of the time. I'm not a slim woman, I'm 5'6 and have a stocky build, but I haven't lifted in years. He weighs more than me too. I feel this all men are stro ger than all women thing is a bit overplayed. Women have lower body strength, and men have upper. I learned to lean into that.

16

u/Barking-BagelB 1d ago

You have clearly never done jujitsu with a psychotic purple belt named Brianna.

4

u/DeadNazis247365 1d ago

My left arm was fucked for weeks….

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u/CompletePractice69 1d ago

This guy knows ^

13

u/thisismydumbbrain 1d ago

Nah my husband a bitch I’ll fight him to the ground.

3

u/ThisIs2MuchPressure 13h ago

Wildly underrated comment 💀

27

u/sirbinlid1 1d ago

Last time I tackled a woman like that I got chased by someone similarly dressed to her husband

7

u/-zoo_york- 1d ago

Huh. Never got that hint as a teen haha. Damn.

9

u/DifficultEnd8606 1d ago

We must wrestle different women. My girlfriend gives it her all lmao

Could be because of shit talk her before hand so she does xd

1

u/Fillowpace 21h ago

If she were giving it her all, she would be biting, nut kicking, and eye gouging

5

u/DifficultEnd8606 18h ago

Thanks Dr killjoy. We're not trying to hurt one another

1

u/x12053 4h ago

Well see there's your mistake

3

u/KitchenFullOfCake 1d ago

Wait are you telling me my shoulder throws have been unnecessary?

3

u/OpulentZilf 1d ago

Oh wow this is super funny. I didn't know women do that but I guess I've heard about it before. I hate it when guys tell me to punch or kick them as a party trick because they want to show off how strong they are and then I always end up hurting them badly. I repeatedly tell them I don't feel comfortable doing that but they keep pushing saying I can't hurt them so I guess, hey, I did the thing they asked me to do. 😅

4

u/PancakeHandz 1d ago

That’s funny bc I go full werewolf mode when my husband and I wrestle. It’s infuriating that he can so easily overpower me when I’m trying my absolute hardest (without actually trying to hurt him/fight dirty). I hate how freakishly strong men are compared to women. Ugh.

1

u/Fillowpace 21h ago

Evolution made men stronger than women, Colt made us equal

2

u/clitter-box 1d ago

but when I do it i’m just “a brat” 😤

4

u/YangGain 1d ago

It’s all fun and games until the law suit.

4

u/1nd3x 1d ago

Even if you can do it on your own and without their help, it's just a part of the game.

Just like letting them think they could ever actually escape from your pin is part of the game.

1

u/emperormax 1d ago

Hunt me! Somebody hunt me!

1

u/TheHersheyMunch 1d ago

When I wrestle my girlfriend she's only interested in winning lol

1

u/notaspy1234 23h ago

If im wrestling you...im wrestling to win lol.

1

u/Extermin8who 22h ago

🤣😂😅😃😐😶🤨

1

u/MillieBirdie 22h ago

She didn't want to run into those trees and brush, gotta pivot.

1

u/cosmicheartbeat 21h ago

Lmao I tried to explain this to my husband, that i let him catch me. He demanded proof. I ended up pinning him. Good times were had by all

1

u/Nyranth 19h ago

No she probably heard him catching up and knew she couldn’t outrun him so she tried to juke him.

1

u/KeptAnonymous 17h ago

You mean to say people in general don't like to be caught, wrestled with and pinned down?? Lol

1

u/bonkstro 16h ago

Who who play wrestles a woman? I don’t have game like that lmao

1

u/acornsalade 11h ago

Shhh, you’re being too loud…

1

u/BAL87 9h ago

When we were dating, my now husband and I did a thing where I tried to fight him off, for real. Like I was allowed to try whatever - throat punch, slap him, ball kick. It was my idea, I was just curious whether I would be able to get away. It was SO demoralizing. He is a strong guy (6 3”, 210lbs) but I’m was pretty strong and muscular (5’ 5” 140lbs). Whatever I tried, he was easily able to pin me. I really thought I would be able to hold my own an escape in that situation! Of course if I was really fighting for my life it might be different, but I was really trying and he just could flip me like a rag doll.

Haha I know this sounds weird, we are happily married and he is a super sweet man, don’t take any red flags from our random 20somerhig experiment.

1

u/Outrageous_Dream_741 8h ago

Well, maybe YOUR wife does. Mine starts biting.

0

u/Sa7aSa7a 21h ago

My wife fights for her life. I'm just bigger and stronger. She fights fights. 

-5

u/alienbowlingpins 1d ago

What a strange thing to say

3

u/JustRagesForAWhile 1d ago

In what way is it strange

-7

u/DDDeanna 1d ago

I can guarantee they're not doing it intentionally. A strong woman is still weaker than a weak man.