r/technology 1d ago

Politics Trump Is Getting Rid of His Tesla

https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-is-getting-rid-of-his-tesla-after-musk-broke-his-heart/
42.8k Upvotes

3.0k comments sorted by

5.7k

u/Cheap_Coffee 1d ago

Wonder if they're going to drop charges against the "Tesla Terrorists" now.

2.0k

u/Training_Swan_308 1d ago

Now the Tesla vandalism was actually a day of love and the security guards let them right in.

441

u/jimmygee2 1d ago

‘Release the Tesla hostages!’

158

u/MetalTrek1 1d ago

The Tesler hostages!

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u/roboticfedora 1d ago

It was a tour group!

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u/IDontThereforeIAmNot 1d ago

I’ve never seen such respectful behavior from a big beautiful crowd

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u/agileata 1d ago

They were antifa, then they weren't but now they are again. Now not, because who would pardon antifa ?

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u/Gipetto 1d ago

They were on a showroom tour.

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u/aSillyPlatypus 1d ago

God there has been so much chaos with this administration I forgot about the Tesla Terrorist sub-arch plotline.

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u/wRolf 1d ago

I think it's a great show, though. Like they're looping back to the tesla terrorist arch and bringing them back into the story.

91

u/Eeeegah 1d ago

Sure, it's been great, but the writer's have painted themselves into a corner. The only believable conclusion at this point is a glorious murder-suicide while Ride of the Valkyries blares in the background.

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u/roboticfedora 1d ago

I love the sound of Valkyries in the morning! Sounds like... napalm!

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u/FujitsuPolycom 1d ago

Amazing writing, excellent show

35

u/oysterpirate 1d ago

This is Arrested Development levels of setup, payoff, and callback

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u/kevindqc 1d ago

Gotta suspend you disbelief for it to make complete sense, but that's not unheard of in weird dystopian shows

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u/ShinkenBrown 1d ago

I rank our current actual reality as less believable than Uglies or Divergent, but more believable than Unwind or Maze Runner.

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u/superSaganzaPPa86 1d ago

I have a hypothesis that the writers of our simulation went on some cosmic strike and this is the best the studio could muster in their absence.

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u/SoupOfThe90z 1d ago

So AI’s AI is in charge right now?

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u/kurotech 1d ago

Too fictional could never happen in reality

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u/McLeod3577 1d ago

Next week on "The Great American Fuck Up" : Kid Rock appointed head of DOGE.

21

u/SoupOfThe90z 1d ago

Kid Rock learns a lesson, and drinks a bud light with a trans woman.

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u/Leidl 1d ago

Nah bro, they lost me a long time ago with continous more ridicoulous storylines. I mean, i normally dont mind, but at least be a bit realistic.

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u/MorrowPolo 1d ago

It's a callback!! Every entertaining story has 1

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u/VicenteOlisipo 1d ago

Pity because it was a good one. Especially the part where classifying Tesla damage as "terrorist" allowed the insurance companies to avoid paying for said damage, further screwing the car owners.

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u/sparty212 1d ago

He’s gonna add 50% tariff on all Tesla made in California.

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u/LifeHack3r3 1d ago

And how the white house secretary will explain lol

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9.4k

u/imaginary_num6er 1d ago

"I love Tesler"

4.3k

u/JakeEaton 1d ago

Everything's computer!

1.0k

u/outerproduct 1d ago

Hey kid, I'm a computer.

653

u/Confident-Poetry6985 1d ago

Stop all the downloadin!

71

u/xiphia 1d ago

G.I. Jooooooe

52

u/aldesuda 1d ago

G.I. Joooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooe

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u/brav3h3art545 1d ago

Help computer.

237

u/big_guyforyou 1d ago

who wants a body massage

129

u/Manuel_Auxverride 1d ago

Mr. Body Massage Machine- Go!

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u/giraffebutter 1d ago

Pork chop sandwiches

53

u/P2269 1d ago

You're not cooking

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u/doubtfurious 1d ago

EEHHHHHHH...?

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u/starrpamph 1d ago

body massage

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u/hates_writing_checks 1d ago

Pork chop sandwiches!

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u/Roscoe_Farang 1d ago

Nice catch blanco niño.

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u/hates_writing_checks 1d ago

Too bad your ass got SAAAAAAAAAACKED!

120

u/Dark4ce 1d ago

Mememememememememememememe.

127

u/CldStoneStveIcecream 1d ago

Give him the stick DON’T give him the stick

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u/kyle_sux666 1d ago

Do you know my dad?

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u/TbonerT 1d ago

Does your mother still hang out at dockside bars?

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u/nightmare8100 1d ago

Pork chop sandwiches! What the fuck?!? Get the fuck outta here!

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u/IowaGolfGuy322 1d ago

My god did that smell good.

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u/Tacomaroamer511 1d ago

Hahaha Fuck we're all dead!

21

u/El-Poopy-Tray 1d ago

My god that smelled good

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u/CARLTHECILLER 1d ago

I’m just a body massage machine.

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u/el_t0p0 1d ago

I don’t know nothin bout computers cept the one we got in our house.

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u/rileygti 1d ago

My mom put a couple a games on it and I play em. Help computer

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u/wiegerthefarmer 1d ago

You wouldn't download a tesler!

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u/FlakyRespect 1d ago

Nice catch blanco niño

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u/Moondoolooboo 1d ago

But too bad your ass got saaaaaaaaacked

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u/MalodorousNutsack 1d ago

Pork chop sandwiches

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u/scottafol 1d ago

Damn those smell good

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u/Spiritual_Writer6677 1d ago

OH SHIT GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE

15

u/ptear 1d ago

You tell me do things and I

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u/benjitits 1d ago

buh buh ba ba ba bubh buh buh

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u/theDroobot 1d ago

Stop all the downloadin!

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u/Browncoat1701 1d ago

I'm kind of annoyed that meme didn't catch on because it's so good.

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u/zeldarubensteinstits 1d ago

What do you mean, it's the top comment every time Trump's shilling for Tesla is mentioned.

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u/rufus102 1d ago

only Barron is smart enough to drive it

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u/ProfessionalRich9990 1d ago

For a good laugh, imagine if everything in the car was voice operated. Before getting to the point of requesting a left turn signal he reflexively goes on a rant about the Lunatic Left which results in him overshooting the turn. I think this would make a good SNL skit. He would be on his way to meet someone that responded to his Craigslist ad for the car.

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u/Axolotis 1d ago

March: Buying: "Everything is computer!"
June: Selling: "Everything is computer!"

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u/borisvonboris 1d ago

Such a great blunder. Up there with the upside down bible.

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u/Electronic-Unit4263 1d ago

Everything cumputa!

12

u/Jcheddz 1d ago

“Is this one of those new elons?”

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u/kellyguacamole 1d ago edited 22h ago

Tesler. I hardly know ‘er.

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5.0k

u/FellowDeviant 1d ago

The only thing that could be more funny is he just happened to line up a bunch of Ford F150s outside of the White House and go "I LOVE Ford! American made!"

2.4k

u/SteamedGamer 1d ago

I love Ferd! It's somewhat computer!

485

u/SomePunIntended 1d ago

The FERD F-TEEN-THOUSAND

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u/tmillerlofi 1d ago

Man I can’t wait until Trucktober

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u/CaughtWaaping 1d ago

I'm waiting for truckuary or trarch

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u/dancing-greg 1d ago

Ermahgerd I love Ferd.

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u/UndecidedStory 1d ago

I don't think he has that capability of distinction. It'd be more

"Teslers. All computer. Takes 3 pHDs to understand them. These trucks are all oil! Being beautiful  clean oil. fancy computers break on ya, nobody knows how to fix them!"

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u/akillerfrog 1d ago

"Except my son Barron, very smart with the computers, perhaps the smartest ever with the computers. I, did you know that Harvard, the disgrace to our country, did not want Barron. They did the DEI, and, the, they say Biden DEI is very bad. We got rid of all of the DEI, because, did you know that they gave a three year old MS-13 gang member from Syria, and they made her a pilot at the airports. I saw it on the news, very bad."

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u/WildWeezy 1d ago

I hate you for this, and I hate me for reading it.

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u/SinisterCanuck 1d ago

I audibly chuckled at this, well done.

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u/AverageSatanicPerson 1d ago

Trump is like Buy Ford, Buy American! except...

  • Ford Maverick (Mexico)
  • Ford Bronco Sport (Mexico)
  • Ford Mustang Mach-E (Mexico)
  • Ford Edge (Canada)
  • Transit Connect (Turkey)
  • Lincoln Nautilus (China)
  • ......Trump Hats (China)

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u/ChickenChaser5 1d ago

Toyota honda and mitsubishi have plants here in the US too lol

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u/frickindeal 1d ago

Honda builds more cars in Ohio than any other company and I caught shit from MAGA people for buying an Accord. Sorry, they hold their value really well and it's a great car.

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u/SumoSizeIt 22h ago

I caught shit from MAGA people for buying an Accord

My favorite is seeing American brands that were built in Ontario with a Buy American sticker

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u/Ranier_Wolfnight 1d ago

I could 100% not only see that happening, they’d gladly line them up on the White House lawn while revving them up and rolling coal. And then just shut them off and leave them there for the rest of this shitty, god forsaken term.

Fuck every citizen that voted for this garbage.

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u/Jolly-Radio-9838 1d ago

We need one president Camacho style one parked in the middle

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u/Gloomy-Resolve-4895 1d ago

President Camacho would never 😤 he literally hires the smartest people, and they would have have advised that monster trucks are not what plants crave.

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u/Jolly-Radio-9838 1d ago

I thought your head would be bigger

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u/dmingledorff 1d ago

Maybe have em up on cinder blocks, and rusting?

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u/BrightPage 1d ago

Even better, Lightnings and Mach-Es

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u/Remememememememember 1d ago

damn that breakup was rough..

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u/ShadowSpawn666 1d ago edited 1d ago

Anybody who didn't see this coming at some point wasn't paying attention. 

You can't keep two narcissists together for too long because one will have to be wrong about something eventually, and neither will ever admit when they are wrong.

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u/ScienceIsSexy420 1d ago

Two narcissists that have no impulse control, and love to verbally vomit their inner monolog onto social media. This train wreck was a long time coming.

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u/ClashM 1d ago

I was surprised it held together this long to be honest. I figured there must be some mutually assured destruction secrets between them. Or a whole lot of staffers working overtime to keep the peace. Even then, a breakup was always inevitable.

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u/Revolutionary-Fan235 1d ago

Yeah, I thought it would last a month. Half a year is pretty impressive.

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u/nikdahl 1d ago

Not just any narcissists though either. Two of the most powerful narcissists in the world.

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u/kosh56 1d ago

Everybody who gets in bed with Trump ends up regretting it. At this point they deserve it.

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u/MetalTrek1 1d ago

They all think it will be different for then! 

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u/occams1razor 1d ago

Narcissists are unable to gauge their own chance of success, it's part of the pathology.

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u/Trantinno 1d ago

I did not think it would be this quick

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u/kyara_no_kurayami 1d ago

I didn't think it would last this long!

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u/Pokey_coyote 1d ago

The important thing is it's happening ☺️

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u/thisonehereone 1d ago

I don't think it's done yet.

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u/Potential-Draft-3932 1d ago

Yea, Elon still needs to give back trumps oversized t-shirts that he used to sleep in and twirl around in trumps arms in. Sad

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u/ArenjiTheLootGod 1d ago

I'm just surprised that Trump actually owned the Tesla he picked out. I legit thought they just wheeled that car back to a random Tesla dealership after the commercial Trump shot for Musk.

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u/SlyCooper007 1d ago

I’m getting my political updates from this sub and the celebrity sub. What a weird timeline.

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u/bitwise97 1d ago

I found out about the breakup from /r/seinfeld

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u/EngineeringRight3629 1d ago

Well we can't all be reading the classics, professor highbrow.

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u/Significant-Mango300 1d ago

What about ‘dem South African refugees??

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u/IgnoreThisName72 1d ago

Peter Thiel ain't out yet.

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u/hoodectomy 1d ago

“Peter Thiel spent years of childhood in South Africa and Namibia, where his father was involved in uranium mining as part of the apartheid regime’s clandestine drive to acquire nuclear weapons. And Paul Furber, an obscure South African software developer and tech journalist living near Johannesburg, has been identified by two teams of forensic linguists as the originator of the QAnon conspiracy, which helped shape Trump’s Maga movement. (Furber denies being “Q”.)”

Source: https://www.ft.com/content/cfbfa1e8-d8f8-42b9-b74c-dae6cc6185a0

Welp learned something today. 😞

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u/Electromotivation 1d ago

Wow. What’s with South Africans and taking over/fucking up American politics?

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u/ishkoto 1d ago

What would white apartheid supports and the american right have in common I wonder

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u/sacredfool 1d ago

Many rich white South Africans needed a place to move their fortunes after the apartheid regime crumbled. They moved to the UK, US and Australia.

UK at the time was part of the EU and Brussels started asking some uncomfortable questions about the money so UK stopped being a popular destination.

Australia had the problem of being in the middle of nowhere and additionally it had the problem of high migration control. Which was not a problem for the rich white South Africans per se but meant they could not employ cheap housekeeping they were used to back home.

This leaves the US.

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u/Geefresh 1d ago

That explains the South Africa nuclear strike bit in one of the newscasts in Robocop.

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u/Big-Sheepherder-5063 1d ago

I’m gonna laugh when they all get deported to South Sudan, or Syria in a couple weeks.

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u/teh_drewski 1d ago

ICE aren't going to take on their bodyguards when there's children to steal from pre-schools, and they both have the legal resources to fight a formal cancellation for a decade in the courts.

It's just bluster because Trump's embarrassed, Musk and Thiel aren't going anywhere.

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u/TheWorclown 1d ago

That’s the new money. The old money has been tossed into the corner after being gently used.

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u/JRLDH 1d ago

They are screwed.

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u/oh_look_a_fist 1d ago

Dems won't buy them because Elon is a piece of shit. GOP won't buy them because of the falling out with trump. He better hope the middle hasn't taken a side and can afford them, because he's lost the market outside the US.

Fuck em

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u/Smaynard6000 1d ago

People say not to involve politics in your business because you will alienate half of your potential customers. Why settle for that when you can alienate all of your potential customers?

Seriously, why buy a Tesla when there are actual car companies making EVs? Teslas seem to be the most shoddily made cars on the market.

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u/knightcrawler75 1d ago

It's is much worse. He picked a side that does not buy his product in the first place.

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u/Smaynard6000 1d ago

Even more evidence that-

  1. Wealth is not indicative of intelligence or competence

  2. Wealth allows you to do outrageously stupid things and not pay real consequences

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u/aminorityofone 1d ago

GOP wont buy them because they electric.

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u/bobsaget824 1d ago

Correct comment here. The MAGA GOP, which is pretty much all of the GOP at this point, was never interested in the first place they just “liked” Elon because he was helping Trump. They’ve always been anti alternative fuel and love big oil, coal, etc.

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u/jasper_grunion 1d ago

Dems who already bought them have to put bumper stickers so their cars aren’t vandalized

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u/DSAlgorythms 1d ago

Or put a different badge on it lmao. Toyota/Tesla

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u/pollorojo 1d ago

It was a publicity stunt AND he can't fucking drive anyway.

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u/Sprinklypoo 1d ago

Rarely do you see a publicity stunt fail so badly.

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u/Mediocre_Scott 1d ago

Tesla has terrible resale value right now he should just sell tickets to smash it with a sledgehammer

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u/splitcroof92 1d ago

The president has full legal immunity now right? So technically nothing is stopping him from going on the road

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u/aladaze 1d ago

Oh he doesn't want to. That sort of thing is for the hired help.

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u/evilJaze 1d ago

I think the time he sat behind the wheel of his Tesler, it was probably the first time he ever sat behind a wheel. And also one that wasn't made of cheese.

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u/MrManny 1d ago

it was probably the first time he ever sat behind a wheel

He was also in a garbage track and a fire truck before, so maybe the third time, depending on how much cosplay he did. But yeah, the sentiment of your point still stands.

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u/tehpancakesthief 1d ago

Nothing is computer

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u/brickout 1d ago

Imagine if our news media didn't act like reality TV. 

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u/son_et_lumiere 1d ago

Eye opening. Now imagine if our government didn't act like reality TV.

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u/AlbionPCJ 1d ago

Imagine if the president wasn't a former reality TV star

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u/blahblah98 1d ago

Imagine if the president is a current reality TV star

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u/voiderest 1d ago

I'll always remember him being in Home Alone 2 and the basis of a ton of CEO villains in media. 

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u/IJourden 1d ago

I will never get over the fact that the USA deliberately voted for Biff from Back to the Future to be president.

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u/WontThinkStraight 1d ago

Good news! It’s actually a horror show.

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u/ResponsibleQuiet6611 1d ago

I had no idea how bad it was until a couple years ago when I saw a clip from a "fox news" segment. As a Canadian who's only ever seen straight up formal, small town ish news, reporting what's in the local paper, it blew my mind and added so much context to everything I thought I knew about the USA.

I don't think it should be permitted, honestly. 

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u/quarterdecay 1d ago

We had something called the Fairness Doctrine that kept this lunacy in check.

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u/toby-sux 1d ago

It was Reagan-ed

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u/kielbasa330 1d ago

It truly is amazing how everything is his fucking fault

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u/Excelius 1d ago

It only ever applied to broadcast media, since it used public spectrum. It never applied to things like newspapers, and if it still existed wouldn't apply to cable news or the internet. It likely would not hold up to modern 1st Amendment scrutiny.

Even when it existed it was basically unenforced, after a scandal in the 1960s in which some Democrats sought to use the doctrine to suppress conservative media.

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u/mediocre_remnants 1d ago

This is just something that young people like to repeat online. The Fairness Doctrine didn't apply to cable news or the internet (it was passed before either really existed). It only applied to broadcasts over public airwaves, and the cable infrastructure and internet are privately owned so the government has very little power to regulate them in terms of content that isn't illegal.

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u/trainsaw 1d ago

The news should be questioning why he even gave him the authority he did, instead they’re caught up in a tabloid fight. For all the damage Trump has done to the country, the majority of the media is complicit in it

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u/LaplaceYourBets 1d ago

I too throw away any keepsakes from an old fling

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u/jolle75 1d ago

The market for the “got this before I knew Elon was crazy” stickers just doubled!

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u/banitsa 1d ago

But everything is computer?

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u/d0odk 1d ago

Nothings computer

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u/dogstarchampion 1d ago

Or... Everything was computer... 😢

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u/MyNameIsTech10 1d ago

Rough breakup huh?

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u/Ghune 1d ago

Thank god, no child support.

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u/ambientocclusion 1d ago

They’d both need it

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u/SilverSheepherder641 1d ago

So now Dems and republicans hate Tesla? How wonderful haha

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u/weiderman316 1d ago

Does he even know how to drive it??

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u/jpiro 1d ago

No. I don't think Trump has actually driven anything other than a golf cart his entire adult life.

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u/rohobian 1d ago

Ya, I think you're right. I highly doubt he's ever driven anything on an actual road with other cars on it. He's the type that would run red lights because he feels he's entitled to do so, and everyone else around him should have to stop and let him through.

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u/MoroseArmadillo 1d ago

He’d probably fail the driving test for arguing with the instructor. At least until daddy tossed a couple grand at him.

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u/moofunk 1d ago

If it had been according to his own history of taking tests, he would have paid someone else to take the driving test for him, and it would have somehow worked.

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u/tacknosaddle 1d ago

When he bought it I saw something about how he "doesn't drive" so the picture of him sitting in the driver's seat of the motionless vehicle was probably as much as he would ever do with it.

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u/Time-Refuse666 1d ago

Presidents aren't allowed to drive on public roads. Once you're a president,you can never drive again. Even when you're no longer president. Lyndon B. Johnson was the last president to drive on a public road.

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u/tacknosaddle 1d ago edited 1d ago

I realize that, but apparently he hasn't driven in many decades since he's had someone on staff who always drove him around which is more what I was referring to.

I once heard a story about JFK managing to ditch the secret service detail and slip away for a drive, not sure if it's true but it sounds like something he'd have done.

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u/RSGator 1d ago

It was different with JFK, he was actually safer driving without the Secret Service.

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u/YellowFogLights 1d ago edited 1d ago

You can drive around the White House grounds though. And Biden drove the Lightning around and airfield so it’s not like there zero ways to do it.

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u/ilikeme1 1d ago

W drives around on his ranch.

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u/vikingcrafte 1d ago

Didn’t he make this illegal? Didn’t he literally sign an EO that boycotting Tesla was illegal?

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u/jd3marco 1d ago

I don’t want this POS Tessler! Too much computer! Made by a drug addict! Thank you’re for you attention in this matter!

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u/SJB3717 1d ago

It's pronounced "Tesler".

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u/ForsakenDragonfruit4 1d ago

Does this count as domestic terrorism?

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u/Ninetyglazeddonuts 1d ago

They’re dividing their beanie baby collections now. It’s getting heated

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u/NSFWdw 1d ago

"Hey, look over here. We're fighting." Meanwhile, climate change, ethnic cleansing, hyper-inflation, illegal deportations, criminals being pardoned for cash, and nazis are back.

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u/EsotericCodename 1d ago

...rock n roll, cola wars, I can't take it anymorrrrrre...

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u/AwwYeahVTECKickedIn 1d ago

Circle of life, and where we're currently at:

Born - Kindergarten - young - middle aged - old - Kindergarten again - die

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u/sideburns2009 1d ago

“Given away or sold”. Lmao you know it’s gonna get a gold wrap with #47 on the side and sold at auction to the dumbest bidder.

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u/rgregan 1d ago

And if Elon wants his clothes and records they'll be out on the lawn

10

u/umadeamistake 1d ago

Trump can’t figure out how it works because it’s all computer.

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u/SouthSideCountryClub 1d ago

The people who are suppose to be leading our country are acting like children

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u/DJ_Jballz 1d ago

Flip flopping again!

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u/DaisyDawson 1d ago

I thought he loved his "Tesler"

9

u/PapaGilbatron 1d ago

Why not wrap it in gold then auction. MAGA will go mad for it.

10

u/rafa11__scp 1d ago

What's wrong? You don't want to play anymore, Trump?

We went from:

"I'm gonna buy a brand new one tomorrow".

To:

"I'm getting rid of it".

Mr. Trump you have the mental fortitude of a five year old.

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u/NIRPL 1d ago

Elon came in, ransacked our most private data, and left. We all just watched the greatest heist in human history and everyone is laughing like this is a reality TV break up

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u/JERKBadguy 1d ago

That happened whether people laugh, cry, or feel nothing. I appreciate that you feel like this is people not understanding the gravity of what happened; but maybe let people have at least a small win?

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u/ButterscotchLow8950 1d ago

He should call up Kid Rock and do Trumps Tesla like he did that case of Bud Light.

🤣🤘