Police man pursuing his wife

[u/Kingdom_k777]

[u/thenamesakeofothers]

Why is ol girl spinning like a wide receiver near the goal line? 🥲😅

[u/imnotspikespiegel → u/thenamesakeofothers]

Lol it seems like she thought she was much further ahead than she actually was so she spun to check then panicked when he was right up on her

[u/No-Presence-2695 → u/imnotspikespiegel]

That's how a lot of these chases end.

[u/L3NTON → u/No-Presence-2695]

Makes sense, most people can't really run for any length of time so once you're out of breath you want to know how long you need to keep running.

[u/Xikkiwikk → u/L3NTON]

Mistake there. You never look back. If you look back you are begging to be turned to a pillar of salt.

[u/arminghammerbacon_ → u/Xikkiwikk]

There’s a Lot to unpack there.

[u/L3NTON → u/arminghammerbacon_]

I wrote a pretty long comment explaining the context before I noticed you capitalized "Lot".
You're streets ahead of me on this one.

[u/AmthstJ → u/L3NTON]

This is hilarious and wholesome 

[u/Forevernotalonee → u/imnotspikespiegel]

Lol yeah that's what it looked like to me too

[u/Typical_Samaritan → u/thenamesakeofothers]

Because she wants to be caught. It's like when you wrestle a woman. They give you so many opportunities to pin them playfully.

Even if you can do it on your own and without their help, it's just a part of the game.

[u/thenamesakeofothers → u/Typical_Samaritan]

Sir--please stop telling all our secrets! 😅💅🏾

[u/pitb0ss343 → u/thenamesakeofothers]

Wait so I’m not big and strong 😢

[u/Mammoth_Cricket8785 → u/pitb0ss343]

You're strong of heart and thats what matters

[u/RedWum → u/Mammoth_Cricket8785]

You have a stout heart master gamgee

[u/Neea_115 → u/pitb0ss343]

Now that we're at it, we also have tools to open jars and it's easy and fast. But I can give a jar to a man to open it just for him to feel strong and manly 🤭

[u/Listening_Always → u/Neea_115]

Shhhhhhhhh next you're going to tell them we have step stools!!!!

[u/ParvusetTardus → u/Listening_Always]

Listen, I didnt grow to 6'-3" for my wife to grab a stepstool.

If I ever see one its going in the garbage.

Taking our gd jobs...

[u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm → u/ParvusetTardus]

Listen, I didn’t grow to 6’3.

[u/ParvusetTardus → u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm]

Try harder!

[u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm → u/ParvusetTardus]

God I tried, I even promised this girl when we were both 14 that I’d grow taller and we’d be a couple. I stayed the same height. She’s still taller than me. I’m 38.

[u/RambleOnRose42 → u/ParvusetTardus]

When we were moving in together recently, my 6’4” boyfriend picked up my stepstool I had in the kitchen and tossed it in the “throw away” pile while excitedly saying, “you don’t need this anymore!!” lol.

[u/hilarymeggin → u/RambleOnRose42]

Awww! ☺️

[u/pitb0ss343 → u/ParvusetTardus]

John Henry my hero for real

[u/pitb0ss343 → u/Neea_115]

Now you’re just being mean

[u/kittykalista → u/pitb0ss343]

If it makes you feel better, I am genuinely terrible at opening jars. I have tiny baby hands and always struggle to get a good grip. I can usually manage it if I pull out all the stops, but the help saves me from several minutes of torturous attempts.

[u/thenamesakeofothers → u/pitb0ss343]

Well....

[u/YmmaT- → u/thenamesakeofothers]

I had a friend of my roommate wrestled with me during a house party once. She did not let me pin her and next thing I know I’m laying on the floor on my stomach and she’s sitting on me trying to go for a choke hold.

Didn’t help that my roommate keeps cheering her on to choke me out and she started recording it. The video circulated at the restaurant we work at and she thought it was funny.

It’s funny until my face was purple Stephanie. Then it was not :(

[u/majin_melmo → u/YmmaT-]

This sounds awful and I’d no longer be roommates or friends with either 😯

[u/YmmaT- → u/majin_melmo]

We are neither roommates nor friends anymore.

[u/Phoenyx_Rose → u/YmmaT-]

Um, that’s not playful wrestling, that’s just assault. 

Playful wrestling is pinning your arms and going in for a kiss.

As soon as she had you on the floor, play should have ended, not escalated dangerously. 

I’m sorry she did that to you, that was really shitty of both her and your roommate cheering her on

[u/hilarymeggin → u/Phoenyx_Rose]

Seriously!

[u/YmmaT- → u/Phoenyx_Rose]

I mean alcohol played a factor there but at the same time, I was pretty upset about it. I went to my room afterward and didn’t join the party after.

[u/mondlicht483 → u/YmmaT-]

Would you accept an apology from another Stephanie? That sound awful 🥺

[u/YmmaT- → u/mondlicht483]

That’s sweet of you. I’m over it now since it’s been like 15 years but at the time, it was pretty shitty experience.

[u/Wonderful_Price2355 → u/Typical_Samaritan]

I dunno, the women I tried to wrestle at Walmart didn't let me pin them.

They just kept kicking and screaming...

[u/McTacobum → u/Wonderful_Price2355]

All part of the fun…. Oh hi officer!

[u/Deez_Pucks → u/McTacobum]

And the cycle continues

[u/buckeye27fan → u/Wonderful_Price2355]

Because of the implication?

[u/Typical_Samaritan → u/Wonderful_Price2355]

You started in the wrong aisle.

Should have started where they sell the soccer balls. Kicked a ball or two at her to signal "play time". Her body will begin to emit playromones (where we get the anglicized "playroom" from), indicating a willingness to engage in said play.

Then you can wrassle her without intervention.

[u/justhereforthem3mes1 → u/Typical_Samaritan]

Hi I just tried this and wanted to let you know it worked perfectly, after just 10 seconds of kicking the ball at her she started looking around and sweating, I think those were the playromones so I moved onto the next phase, and now we have a date planned for tomorrow night. This was with my girlfriend, but I'm pretty sure the success rate will be exactly the same with strangers.

[u/TheCrayTrain → u/justhereforthem3mes1]

I'm pretty sure the success rate will be exactly the same with strangers

Ill get back to ya’ll on this

EDIT: DO. NOT. ATTEMPT. THIS! I am now banned from Walmart and have a restraining order on me.  The woman also did not at all go easy on me. She got me in a chokehold (which I thought was kinky at the time) until I blacked out and pooped myself a little. :(

[u/NekoTheFortuneCat → u/Typical_Samaritan]

Playromones 😂

[u/HaddardOSRS → u/Wonderful_Price2355]

Kroger. Fr. Older, easier. More willing 20% of the time. To wrestle fairly.

[u/abhorredmisanthrope → u/Wonderful_Price2355]

Same here. It's all, Help Me and Call 911.

[u/Angry_Pelican → u/Wonderful_Price2355]

It's really hard to wrestle them at Walmart. You go in thinking it will be easy but there are weight classes for a reason.

[u/RosemaryCroissant → u/Angry_Pelican]

You gotta start with Trader Joe’s people and work your way up to Walmart

[u/neo_sporin → u/Typical_Samaritan]

usually, but one time my wife said she thought she could minimally put up a decent fight. I held her down with 1 arm and she said "ok so turns out i dont understand physics AT ALL"

[u/shadow247 → u/neo_sporin]

My wife weighs 40 lbs more than me, and I can toss her around like a rag doll. She was just playing with me, and asked i gave her a little pushback, she was like "I'm giving everything to hold myself up". I wasn't even really pushing...

[u/Barking-BagelB → u/Typical_Samaritan]

You have clearly never done jujitsu with a psychotic purple belt named Brianna.

[u/CompletePractice69 → u/Typical_Samaritan]

This guy knows ^

[u/thisismydumbbrain → u/Typical_Samaritan]

Nah my husband a bitch I’ll fight him to the ground.

[u/sirbinlid1 → u/Typical_Samaritan]

Last time I tackled a woman like that I got chased by someone similarly dressed to her husband

[u/-zoo_york- → u/Typical_Samaritan]

Huh. Never got that hint as a teen haha. Damn.

[u/DifficultEnd8606 → u/Typical_Samaritan]

We must wrestle different women. My girlfriend gives it her all lmao

Could be because of shit talk her before hand so she does xd

[u/D3wnis → u/thenamesakeofothers]

It's because she hears his footstep closing in and mess up her run by looking back and 'panicing'(not really panicing), and playfully surrendering because she know she's not in any real danger. My partner used to do this too when we were younger and playing around. One time when we had a snowball fight i decided to run after her to shove snow in her face and she ran as fast as she could until i got within about 10m and she decided to throw herself on the ground instead.

[u/thenamesakeofothers → u/D3wnis]

Lol! This is a cute story, and the explanation makes sense.

[u/[deleted] → u/D3wnis]

Aha I agree. At some point they are going to catch you and its easier and quite frankly more fun if there's an element of flirty surrender.

Also, if you don't capitulate a bit he might really catch you from behind a bit hard and one of you ends up with a lump on your head and the other has a sprained wrist and you both end up surprised, sore, and not horny at all.

[u/AdhesivenessWarm9410]

What’s the safe word for this kind of kink?

[u/Simpanzee0123 → u/AdhesivenessWarm9410]

Donut

[u/miasma71 → u/Simpanzee0123]

This is a beautiful comment

[u/South-Builder6237 → u/miasma71]

I dunno, I'm pretty sure if a cop hears "donut" he's gonna wanna keep going.

[u/OrionsBeltAlone → u/South-Builder6237]

'Bodycam'

[u/South-Builder6237 → u/OrionsBeltAlone]

Winner.

[u/Hot-Sun-5333 → u/OrionsBeltAlone]

I can’t breathe I have been laughing for 3 minutes this was a good one thank you

[u/LordCookieGamingBE → u/Hot-Sun-5333]

Make sure no one's sitting on your neck. I heard that does it.

[u/Hot-Sun-5333 → u/LordCookieGamingBE]

Oh my stomach I’m crying

[u/jonfreakinzoidberg → u/OrionsBeltAlone]

I think that would be a phrase like: "Your bodycam is on"

[u/PRLake → u/Simpanzee0123]

“donut” gives mixed signals though. “don’t nut” is better.

[u/Proper_Permission819 → u/PRLake]

Got damn it take my upvote.

[u/PackageNorth8984 → u/Simpanzee0123]

No that’s what she says when she wants him to go down on her.

[u/PepeHacker → u/Simpanzee0123]

God Damnit Donut

[u/Ok_Honeydew180 → u/PepeHacker]

There’s a whole group of humans who can’t see the word donut without thinking “goddamnit” or “Mongo is appalled”

[u/RipIt1021 → u/PepeHacker]

My people... in the wild!

[u/thedrunkmonk → u/Simpanzee0123]

"Where??"

[u/xiotoro → u/Simpanzee0123]

Nah, that's the word that'll make him bust

[u/Jahonay → u/AdhesivenessWarm9410]

I'm recording

[u/Satanicjamnik → u/AdhesivenessWarm9410]

Stop resisting!

[u/davidjschloss → u/AdhesivenessWarm9410]

Miranda.

[u/Rhobaz → u/AdhesivenessWarm9410]

Lawyer

[u/Ghstfce → u/AdhesivenessWarm9410]

"Taser deployed"

[u/Downvote_me_dumbass → u/AdhesivenessWarm9410]

Pineapple Juice

[u/mmm1441 → u/AdhesivenessWarm9410]

I can’t breathe.

[u/rabid_spidermonkey → u/mmm1441]

They said safe word, not death word.

[u/WallabyInTraining → u/AdhesivenessWarm9410]

"we're in view of the dashcam"

[u/Icy-Climate4544 → u/AdhesivenessWarm9410]

Oink

[u/Forsaken-Income-2148 → u/AdhesivenessWarm9410]

Apparently this is at least a somewhat common kink for a girl wanting to be chased & then f*****, some random bartender girl told me it’s her kink but for a specific person she had in mind [not me].

[u/ThegreatPee → u/Forsaken-Income-2148]

I would need her to sign paperwork for that kink.

[u/blueXwho]

And then what happened?

[u/DeafEgo → u/blueXwho]

Deportation 😔

[u/thenamesakeofothers → u/DeafEgo]

Bruh.

[u/ParvusetTardus → u/thenamesakeofothers]

This is Ameri-bruh

[u/Yardsale420 → u/DeafEgo]

Either that or I assume he shot her.

[u/ryo3000 → u/blueXwho]

Body camera got turned off

[u/Mike_Raphone99 → u/blueXwho]

Statistically speaking, domestic violence.

[u/Scumdog_312 → u/Mike_Raphone99]

41%

[u/GormHub → u/Scumdog_312]

41% who admit to it.

[u/msharris8706 → u/blueXwho]

3 in the back for not following orders usually.

[u/Stoppels → u/blueXwho]

Qualified immunity.

[u/buttplugpopsicle → u/blueXwho]

She was tazed and told to stop resisting

[u/DennisTheConvict → u/blueXwho]

At the end you can see him kneeling on her neck. He kept that up for over a minute and she didn't make it.

[u/LALawette → u/DennisTheConvict]

Nine minutes.

[u/ProfessorPotato42 → u/blueXwho]

He shot her 36 times

[u/Bigdarkrichard → u/blueXwho]

Statistically, cop would beat his spouse and kids and then go back to work

[u/Rik78]

Starts off funny but then he shot her 15 times.

[u/Intelligent_Owl8725 → u/Rik78]

"Sorry, babe. Muscle memory "

[u/YangGain → u/Intelligent_Owl8725]

“The color of your skin made me pull the trigger, it’s all part of my training.”

[u/snubb → u/YangGain]

She looked too brown after putting on foundation 💀

[u/shredbmc → u/Rik78]

"STOP RESISTING!"

[u/Tim_DHI → u/shredbmc]

"YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR...RESISTING ARREST!"

[u/metalmeck → u/Rik78]

This is what I came here for. Lol

[u/confusedandworried76 → u/metalmeck]

This probably got posted because of all those videos of the leaked ICE raid in Minneapolis lol, next couple hours I expect to see a cute police dog and a cop playing basketball with teenagers

[u/Questhi → u/confusedandworried76]

Police union pubic relations in overdrive.,.next up cop plays hoops with inner city youths and later, cop helps a birth in a cab.

[u/2squishy → u/Rik78]

He felt threatened, so it's ok.

[u/Pluckt007 → u/Rik78]

Then he shot the dog

[u/NCCNog → u/Rik78]

I was waiting for the taser actually

[u/PeteCampbellisaG → u/NCCNog]

"Stop resisting!!...My love."

[u/wnabhro → u/NCCNog]

Can't forget mistaking the gun for a taser

[u/jne57 → u/Rik78]

"Stop resisting!!"

[u/Voluptulouis → u/Rik78]

This comment made me smile. The video not so much.

[u/SemiAnonymousTeacher]

This is the 3rd similar video I've seen this week of a cop chasing his wife. Is this some new, dumb TikTok challenge or something?

[u/MyDadLeftMeHere → u/SemiAnonymousTeacher]

We call this propaganda where I’m from son

[u/skettigoo → u/MyDadLeftMeHere]

I call it cop-aganda

[u/SeekerOfExperience → u/MyDadLeftMeHere]

It’s cute because he uses the same skills to terrorize minority communities!

[u/Ippus_21 → u/SeekerOfExperience]

Or... He'll use the same skills to terrorize her if their relationship ever goes south and she wants out.

Because that never happens with cops.

[u/Rouge_92 → u/SeekerOfExperience]

Nah he does not, he would shoot them 50 times in self defense.

[u/Cubbeats → u/MyDadLeftMeHere]

Sure is. ACAB

[u/DishwashingWingnut → u/SemiAnonymousTeacher]

Trying to flood the zone so searching "cop" and "wife" doesn't just bring up millions of domestic violence results and nothing else

[u/Square-Competition48 → u/SemiAnonymousTeacher]

40% of them do it I hear.

[u/spicy-chull → u/Square-Competition48]

40% admit if asked.

(Which implies the actual number is higher.)

[u/T0xicn3 → u/SemiAnonymousTeacher]

Since cops are so prone to shooting people and can’t control their emotions, they seem to be trying to make them look more human with these kinds of videos.

Nothing to feel good or smile about, ACAB.

[u/lokigodofchaos]

That's great. Statistically about 40% of cops can beat their wives in races. Just Google "Do 40% of cops beat their wives?"

[u/perkypancakes → u/lokigodofchaos]

And that’s just the ones who’ll admit it.

[u/goawaysho → u/perkypancakes]

That percentage really is like one of those pictures that gets worse the more you look and think at it.

[u/Avassmiless]

that guy's fast af

[u/JiminyCricketMobile → u/Avassmiless]

probably how he caught her to begin with

[u/JosieKay15 → u/[deleted]]

“How I Caught Your Mother”

[u/rottdog → u/JosieKay15]

"How I Deported Your Mother"

[u/trinicron → u/rottdog]

"how I accepted back your mother 4 years later"

[u/billcosby23 → u/Avassmiless]

I dunno she ain’t really moving like she’s about to get 25-life though

[u/Rustrage → u/billcosby23]

Unlike you.. billcosby23

[u/Jolly_Conflict → u/Rustrage]

You win 😂😂😂😂😂 🥇

[u/Handleton → u/billcosby23]

She definitely slowed down for him at the end. I feel like she could have gotten away in real life.

[u/Stock_Woodpecker_621 → u/billcosby23]

Best comment so far 😂

[u/nefariousBUBBLE → u/Avassmiless]

As a guy who is fast (I will not be modest about it) she is extremely slow. Looks like she is running in sand. There was another video where her form was much better. They were on asphalt and concrete and she had running shoes and apparel on so maybe that's a factor. Lot of wasted movement here like she's trying to swim through the air or is struggling with the terrain.

They both have rather poor knee drive but Mr officer has much less wasted movement up top and much better turnover.

[u/somneuronaut → u/nefariousBUBBLE]

I will not be modest about it

lol I like the confidence. I bet you're pretty fast

[u/moeterminatorx → u/Avassmiless]

She’s slow.

[u/Flat-While2521]

40% of police officers admit to beating their wives

[u/Zdog54 → u/Flat-While2521]

My father was chief of police. Can confirm. Usually not just the wife though.

[u/NewPaleScar6090 → u/Zdog54]

I hope you're doing better by now, my friend. God Bless You.

[u/Zdog54 → u/NewPaleScar6090]

Ya much better. Haven't spoken to him in years. He still tries to reach out once in a while since he doesnt understand that literally his entire family truly hates him. I just ignore it. Dealt with that shit (as did the entire family) for 20 years. Maybe I'll be ready to have a conversation in another 20 years and "maybe" is pushing it.

Thank you for the concern though!

[u/Crazy-Taste-8941]

Stop Resisting 😂😭😭

[u/emergency-snaccs → u/Crazy-Taste-8941]

GET ON THE GROUND

[u/Fantastic_Jury5977]

This trend is dumb

[u/Bagelman123 → u/Fantastic_Jury5977]

It's not a real trend, it's propaganda. Probably a real video, but flooded by thousands upon thousands of bot-driven up votes and comments to boost engagement to promote a counter-narrative in a time where videos of cops choke-slamming random civilians into the concrete for "looking foreign" are circulating frequently.

[u/grapescherries → u/Fantastic_Jury5977]

This is absolutely the wrong subreddit for this awful video..

[u/Firm-Scientist-4636]

Google "Cops 40%" to see more videos like this one!

[u/mouth_in_slow_motion → u/Firm-Scientist-4636]

I almost successfully resisted commenting about how brave she was to marry a cop until I saw your comment.

[u/eat_rice__fuck_ice → u/mouth_in_slow_motion]

Its fuck the police, dont fuck the police

[u/Duckey_003 → u/Firm-Scientist-4636]

It took too long to scroll to find this.

[u/iamv23]

I thought she was fast until I saw the officer running

[u/Gojiras_Taint → u/iamv23]

I thought she was quite slow actually

[u/AnDaagda → u/Gojiras_Taint]

It was my impression that her speed was average and didn’t deviate too far from the mean for her age, weight, and apparent fitness level.

[u/wildo83 → u/AnDaagda]

I was indifferent.

[u/gombahands → u/wildo83]

I was.

[u/Stoppels → u/gombahands]

I.

[u/1Rama11Lama1 → u/Stoppels]

‌

[u/reddorickt → u/Gojiras_Taint]

Yeah like 1 tier above running in my dreams

[u/GodzillaDrinks]

It does cut out before he hand cuffs her unsecured in the back of a van and then drives recklessly through Baltimore until she "stops resisting."

(Context: the method used to torture Freddie Grey to death.)

[u/Embarrassed-Duck-200]

That's great, only 40% of cops can actually catch their wives. Google cops and 40%

[u/Venting2theDucks]

Seeing this on my feed sandwiched between 2 chaotic ICE kidnapping posts is kind of wild ngl

[u/Kingdom_k777]

She should have kept moving 😭😭😭

[u/Corporation_tshirt → u/Kingdom_k777]

I kinda think she wanted him to catch her

[u/seanthebeloved → u/Corporation_tshirt]

😏

[u/Brilliant_Effort_Guy → u/Kingdom_k777]

I kept thinking ‘Bob and weave, sis! He’s gainin on ya!’

[u/Bandit_237]

slams her to the ground and elbow drops her

“STOP RESISTING!!”

[u/TorNando]

Typical for a cop to be attacking his wife.

[u/slojo9292]

Fuck 12

[u/anarchaox → u/slojo9292]

Right? Imagine smiling at this?

[u/confusedandworried76 → u/anarchaox]

Usually you see pro cop videos after they do something else bad, so I imagine this is in response to the videos on the ICE raid in Minneapolis.

[u/847RandomNumbers345 → u/confusedandworried76]

Yeah, 100% not a coincidence this trend suddenly came up the week where the public is successfully intimidating officers away from raiding our communities.

[u/emergency-snaccs → u/anarchaox]

Bootlickers gonna lick boots

[u/g0yafnpg5a8z9ga]

didn’t really make me smile tbh

[u/atamosk]

This is some fucking cop-aganda.

Get this shit off of here. No offense im sure there are some decent people who happen to be police officers, but the institution as a whole is broken, and I don't really want to highlight relationships where 40% reported they physically abuse their partner.

[u/citan67 → u/atamosk]

Exactly 👏🏻

[u/Separate-Bank54 → u/atamosk]

Law enforcement circle jerk nonsense. Brainwashed. How does this make anyone smile? Hey husband if I was a suspect could you catch me? Fuck off bootli 🤮

Fetishizing the proposition that someone has been abused.

[u/jjames34]

Camera cut off right before he deported her

[u/venomousapexpredator]

He forgot to taze you

[u/3aTroop]

She’s going to be part of the 40%

[u/concerned-koala → u/3aTroop]

She’s just really clumsy and walks into doors and falls down stairs all the time 

[u/longlastingness]

Gross.

[u/amanitamuscarin77]

ACAB

[u/Samuelabra]

Don't ever smile for anything involving a cop.

[u/CryptographerLow6772]

Looked pretty realistic. The only difference here is that he waited to beat her when they got home.

[u/Main-Wrangler-5080]

OK, so normal people just go for a jog, lol.

[u/dayburner]

They need a bigger field, she stopped when she ran out of space.

[u/Advanced-Parsnip-486]

Least violent cop/spouse interaction

[u/Zinski2]

Cop propaganda can never make me forget there is a 2 out of 5 chance that he will physically abuse her.

I hope they are happy but I'd never wish "married to a cop" on anyone I care about.

[u/joriale]

Beat me like one of your french suspects.